How to Spend Mother’s Day Post-Divorce

When Mother’s Day comes in the midst of divorce proceedings, it can be upsetting if your children are not scheduled to be with you. Some parents have put in their parenting plans that the kids spend Mother’s or Father’s Days with the parent that is being honored. Others do an informal trade for the day.

Post-divorce, my sons and I started new traditions to make the day seem more like it belonged to us. We exorcised the ghosts of Mother’s Day past, and did not do anything like we did when I was still married. We shook up our routine and had a simple meal out followed by an anticipated movie. Celebrate in a new way, whether or not you have the kids with you.  My mother was happy to go along with our changes.

Here are some ideas for embarking on new traditions for this day. Have a brunch at your place and invite other women, whether or not they are mothers. Make it extra festive with some champagne or Bloody Marys.  If you have family nearby, get together with them and the kids will have fun with cousins.

Ask your children for suggestions on how to celebrate this occasion in other ways.  When I was little, I treated my divorced mother at a reasonably priced restaurant in a nearby town. The scenic drive was half  of the fun. Give your kids the chance to do something nice for you.

What to do if you are alone on Mother’s Day? See what your single friends are doing, or be the social director and plan an outing with them.  Distraction is the key when feeling lonely or melancholy. Going to a cinema or watching a boxed set at home can help.  My mother would get a great mystery to read on Mother’s Day when I was not home, or she would work. Sitting around moping makes things worse.  Consider getting away on a vacation. You can be with others on a tour, or check off something from your Bucket List. Then you are not around happy families on this day, when you are alone.  Pamper yourself with some new spa products. Whatever I do on Mother’s Day, high quality chocolate will be part of it.