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The Difference Parents Can Make In Their Teen’s Depression

The Difference You Can Make In Your Teen's DepressionIn 2016, suicide moved up the list from third to second leading cause of death in teenagers. Think about that for a second…teenagers are killing themselves more than ever and it is terrifying as a parent to realize that we have children in this age range.

Teen depression is a serious problem. In a world that seems programmed to make them doubt themselves, just developing a healthy self image seems like an insurmountable undertaking. Add in other factors like divorce, a difficult co-parent or trauma and the list of potential triggers for serious teenage depression becomes longer and longer.

What Should I Do If I Suspect My Teen Is Depressed?

Changes in appetite, increased or decreased sleep, apathy, sudden bouts of crying, isolation, signs of self harm….these are all signals of depression in a teenager. If you have noticed any of them, or a combination of these or other symptoms, you probably feel very anxious.

But studies have shown that your are a lifeline for your teen and your support is critical in their health and success. Here are some ways you can make a difference in your teen’s depression.

  • Listen To Them Speak Honestly – One of the hardest thing to do is speak openly and honestly to someone about how you’re feeling. With a child, they have to worry about changing the way you look at them. Show your teen that they can be open and speak without being judged.
  • Don’t Punish Them For Their Feelings – Feelings are impossible to just ignore and yet we will so often push them away out of fear of the consequences. Your teen could be afraid to share their feelings because you may punish them for what they express. Make it clear you would never do that.
  • Recognize That It Isn’t Up To You To “Fix” Them – You are a parent and you probably see it as your job to fix things for your kids. But their emotions and mental health belong to your teen. Don’t make them feel pressure to lie and say they are fine so you can feel like you are fixing their issues.
  • Get Them Involved In External Activities – Isolation is a common symptom of depression and also one that can make the depression worse. Try to get your teen involved in activities they once enjoyed, even if they push back at first. Sometimes you have to force them to interact with others, for their own mental health.

Seek Professional Help

All of the above tips won’t stop the depression, they will only support your child. Professional help may be necessary, especially if other conditions exist. Don’t be afraid to turn to a therapist or doctor.

Author of this article, Tyler Jacobson, enjoys going to the mountains near his home in Draper, Utah to connect with his wife and children through camping, hiking, and quality time together. When he isn’t rebooting in the outdoors, he shares his fatherly experiences with the world through writing and creative work. Tyler shares the ups and downs of family life and the solutions he’s found through lengthy research and involvement in the industry and his own experiences to help parents everywhere. Follow Tyler on: Twitter | LinkedIn

 

Divorce Property Division – Who Gets To Keep The House And Other Assets?

In most cases, spouses own property in common during a marriage. Typically, this includes any assets that both people acquired during their marriage and that they share in both of their  names. Certainly, a house is one of the biggest assets. Other assets could include vehicles, bank accounts, savings plans, and even electronics. Splitting up assets can get messy in some divorce situations.

Who Owns the House After A Divorce

Since both people  probably need a place to live, ownership of a home can get complicated after a divorce. In the best case, the couple can agree which spouse should get to keep the house. In some situations, one spouse might even agree to buy the other out. For example, one  spouse might keep the house and the other spouse will agree to accept a savings or retirement account for compensation. In other situations, the divorced couple could retain joint ownership, but one spouse might live in the house as the other spouse lives  elsewhere.

Very often, the spouse who will have the highest burden of childcare might keep the house. If the home isn’t fully paid off, the couple also has to agree about who makes future mortgage payments. Besides mortgage payments, there are other costs
of owning a home. This include taxes, property insurance and maintenance. These burdens have to be taken care of or the house will lose its value and may even incur liens and penalties. If one spouse plans to live with children most of time, judges are certainly  going to lean towards awarding that spouse with the home that the children are accustomed to living in. That way, the kids don’t have to get uprooted from their neighborhood and their schools. Typical judges prefer to disrupt the children’s lives as little  as possible.

However, it isn’t always true that the spouse who has the most custody of the children will get the house. There may be some situations when it is better for the children to move. If the two people can agree to ownership in some sensible way,
the judge will probably accept the agreement. If they can’t agree, the case may go to moderation. If moderation doesn’t work, it may have to go before a judge in court.  The stronger the disagreement, the longer it will take to settle the dispute. The process  is also likely to run up more charges.

How To Avoid Disputes Over Property In A Divorce

There is no hard and fast rule about who gets to keep a home and other assets. Since most divorcing couples don’t have a lot of experience in the subject of splitting up  assets, they may need help to work through this. Typically, divorce attorneys understand how the law usually works and can provide some guidance. Each spouse will have their own attorney to offer suggestions, make certain that all assets have been uncovered, and to look out for the best interests of their clients.

Jeremy Johnson is the author of this article and is a real estate enthusiast.  He has written content for dozens of real estate and related sites around the world and  is publisher of realestatecompanies.info/

How to Sell Your House Quickly in Divorce or Empty Nest

During divorce, the marital home may be put up for sale with both parties splitting the proceeds. A quick sale that takes place before the divorce is finalized is ideal. Our house sold a few months after we got our divorce decree and I insisted upon having our solicitors distribute the money from the sale. We had at least one meeting with them after our divorce, until the sale of the house.

Here are some easy and quick ways to increase your chances and speed of selling your house after divorce during this transition.

  • Select a realtor with a great track record for finding buyers for newly listed property. The average time in the UK for a house to sell is four months. In London and the South East of England, property tends to sell quicker, often under two months. It can take six months or longer in Wales, Scotland, and the Northern part of England. How fast the property sells depends upon the demand in your area. My solicitor chose our realtor due to speedy property sales with her previous family law clients. She was in a big realty company with a vast network.
  • Buy faucets to update your house or flat and give it a newer appearance. My friend had to sell her house soon after her divorce decree to relocate and hired a plumber to replace the faucets. She felt that these shiny new ones got her house sold in days. Getting new toilet seats, shower curtain or other small items, aids in sprucing up the property for minimal cost.
  • Get rid of clutter and many personal items. Have a home for incoming paper work, books, toys, and so forth so they are not scattered around. Take a large bin or laundry basket and thin out books from shelves and clothes from closets. Store boxes and bins at your parent’s house temporarily. The point is to make your home look spacious by removing a lot of your stuff. When eliminating personal photos and travel souvenirs from your place, it helps potential buyers to imagine how their own things will look in this new home.
  •   Please read more:  http://www.thedivorcemagazine.co.uk/selling-your-house-after-divorce/

Quick and Easy Meal

Here is a quick and healthy way to make soup.  I go to Trader Joe’s (or your local favorite store) and buy different  cartons (32 OZ) of their various vegetable soups. I use fresh vegetables bagged, or from the produce aisle, or farmer’s markert. Steam and  then puree them in a food processor.  For example, I sometimes get a bag of mixed broccoli/califlower and after steaming and pureeing, put them in a pan and add organic butternut squash soup. It seerves 3 to 8 people, depending on portions.
  If you want to skip the steaming part, make a red/yellow/orange pepper soup. I buy a 32 OZ carton of Organic Tomato & Roasted Red Pepper soup. I puree 2 or 3 peppers and put the puree in a pot on the stove, adding the carton of soup.  Just heat through and serve.
  You can steam and puree the veggies ahead of time, put them in a small container and refridgerate until almost serving time.  It takes around 5 to 10 minutes to heat up the puree veggies and soup.
  This is a wonderful starter  when entertaining, bound to get you rave reviews.  For a simple meal with the kids, add a sandwich or salad and you are done. 

Home Alarm tip

A construction contractor gave me this tip to prevent false alarms. Remove cobwebs from around your alarm sensor and get rid of any spiders near it. The movement of a web, or spider, in front of the alarm sensor can trigger a false alarm. Air rushing out of your heating and cooling vents can get those strands of webs moving. I also keep the vents near my ceiling dust free with a long duster.
  Remember, when you go on vacation to call your alarm company to give them your house/pet sitters’s phone #, in case there is a false alarm or possible break in.

Quick shortcuts with food for company

  Save on prep time and buy prediced ingredients.  Many grocery stores carry, fresh diced onions. Soups and other recipes call for a vegetable mixture called mirepoix, which can also be purchsed in the fresh food section.  Keep cream cheese on hand because it can be mixed with so many other items for a quick dip or hors’doeuvres.  Mixed thawed spinach (thawed in a flash in the microwave) or herbs with the cream cheese and serve with crackers or cut up veggies for drop in guests.
   For Ham Pinwheels: Take thin slices of ham, spread on cream cheese, plain or with herbs, then roll up the ham tightly with the shorter sides. Slice it about 1/4 in. thick for a lovely appetizer.
  Yummy French Bread appetizer: Cut a loaf of french bread into 1/2 inch slices. Spread with softened butter with a dab of mustard mixed in.  Top with Brie cheeze. You can also sprinkle paprika on some and Fines’ herbs or Herbs De Provence on others for more festive colors.  Broil theses just until the edges turn brown, maybe a minute or two.
  Quick stuffed mushrooms:   Remove the mushroom stems and dice them.  Add cream cheeze, chopped green onion and salami bits.  Mix together, and stuff the mushrooms. Cook on baking sheet for 10 min.s @ 375.  You can get creamed spinach in the freezer section and stuff the mushrooms with this for a variarion.
  Remember the classic, but easy artichoke dip. One can of chopped artichoke hearts.   3/4 cup of mayonaise. One cup of cheeze, can be parmesian, or whatever tickles your fancy.  You can add anything else, green chili, herbs, whatever.  Cook @350 for about 25 min.s
  Keep some high quality frozen appetizers in your fridge for drop in company, such as those from Trader Joe’s. In an emergency, Cut bread into rounds, top with cheeze and put under the broiler for a short time.
Enjoy the holidays!

DIY Home Repairs and simple updates when divorcing or other Life Transitions

Some home repair/placement items give more bang for your buck. When a friend of mine was selling her house post-divorce, she got sparkling new faucets and hired a plumber to install them.  She sold  her house in a jiffy. Remember, if you are selling your home quickly during a divorce, to do even small actions such as buying new hardware. There are attractive drawer handles/pulls for just a few dollars and they can liven up a kitchen or bathroom.
Another person spent $30.00 on 2 bedroom light fixtures for her rental property, before showing it to prospective tenants.  The old ones were the can style, which illuminated only a tiny part of the room. What a difference that small investment made for  brighter rooms.
My contractor’s advice when doing your own home repairs or painting, is to use high quality tools. He states that it is worth the few extra dollars to get a better paintbrush, roller, etc.  He can walk in in a room and know that the owners painted it themselves and skimped on a cheapish brush. Other repairs don’t go as well, if the equipment breaks, or just doesn’t do a decent job.
Another thing he does, is to custom order paint , so that it will match the room exactly, when he does touch ups and doesn’t need to repaint the entire room.  For example, when he was putting a heating system in, he took a small part of the wall to our local Sherwin Williams paint store.  The color was exact, so he only had to touch up around the base board and the new, small section of wall installed.
When you are buying items, such as cabinets, for home improvements, don’t assume because you are buying surplus items at a charity shop, that it is cheaper. One local charity shop, where builders bring new or slightly used supplies, sometimes has items which are more expensive, than at large DIY stores. My contractor has pointed this out at this charity shop. So use great equipment and know your prices before shopping for supplies.

Professional Home repair tip

Here is a tip dealing with home repair, that I learned the hard way.  Don’t pay for the entire job upfront.  Hold some back for a final payment to make sure the job is completed.  I paid  the entire fee to a workman to redo my outside courtyard area in front.  When he stopped in the middle of the job and disappeared, I tried to track him down.  He disconnected his cell and I called the person who had  recommended the workman.  That person refused to take any responsibility for the referral and explained  that the workman was a drunk and currently in jail.
1. Get better references than I did.  Do a word of mouth survey and see if several people recommend the same worker or company.  Ask someone in the business, such a former construction worker, who he would hire.
2. Get a signed receipt for all payments, especially if you may be going to a small claims court down the road.
3. Hold the final payment until work is done to your satisfaction.
4. Check with your local Better Business Bureau to see if there are any complaints.

Post-divorce or with other life transitions, you may be stressed, but taking more to make sure you have the right worker will save you money and frustration in the end.

 

Best baking tip

  The best baking tip to make scrumptious goodies and savories in one word, is butter.  High quality butter makes all of the difference in baked goods, sauces, mashed potatos, etc.  The pale yellow, almost tasteless butter in many groceries, makes inferior tasting foods.  You need less butter than recipes call for, when using the rich Irish or English butters.  For every stick of that butter, I use 1 tablespoon less in my recipes.  With stovetop  No Bake  Dough Cookies, I use 1/3rd of the recipe amount.  Use  1/2  less butter in mashed potatos than what you are currently using.  I sometimes use an English one, but currently buy unsalted Kerrygold pure Irish butter. 
  High quality butter is especially noticible in pizzelles, butter cookies, shortbread, pie crusts etc.  This butter freezes well, so I buy a couple of extra  ones to pop in the freezer to use when the baking mood strikes me. Sometimes this Irish or English butter is packaged as 2 sticks together, so when I open one, I divide it in half lengthwise, so it becomes 2 individual sticks.  A dab will do it for  cooking vegetables.  I use less butter and enjoy the foods much more.