The Importance of Communication During Divorce Mediation
Divorce is an emotionally charged and complex process that can be difficult for all parties involved. When a marriage comes to an end, especially if the relationship has ended abruptly and without mutual agreement, it can be challenging to come to terms with how to divide assets, child custody, and other vital matters, you can always go to court, but that is not only expensive, but it can further damage your relationship with your soon-to-be-former spouse as well as your kids. This is where divorce mediation comes in. In this article, we’ll dive into the importance of communication during divorce mediation and how it can help both parties reach a fair and mutually beneficial agreement.
Divorce Mediation vs. Litigation: Why Communication Matters
Before we start exploring the benefits of divorce mediation and how to make the most of it by communicating effectively, let’s learn more about what makes it different than litigation. Perhaps you’re feeling overwhelmed and angry and feel that litigation is the best way to go. However, remember that litigation involves a court battle that can be costly, time-consuming, and emotionally draining. It often involves a lack of communication between parties, and instead, it relies on attorneys to argue the case in front of a judge.
On the other hand, divorce mediation allows both parties to control the outcome and collaborate toward a mutually beneficial solution. Communication is an integral part of this process, and it enables both parties to express their needs, concerns, and perspectives. As a result, mediation can be a more effective and efficient way to resolve a divorce, both in terms of cost and, more importantly, emotional stress.
Why is Healthy Communication Crucial During Divorce Mediation?
The key to successful divorce mediation lies in effective communication. Effective communication can help to reduce stress and tension during the divorce process. It can create a more peaceful environment and make the entire process less emotionally draining for both parties. Moreover, it can save time and money compared to a contentious divorce that requires legal representation and potential court appearances.
However, there are many more reasons why healthy and effective communication is crucial during mediation. To help you understand more about the importance of communication during divorce mediation, we’ve consulted an experienced relationship expert and coach, and here’s everything you need to know.
Establishing Trust: The Foundation of Successful Mediation
You’ve probably heard a million times that trust is the foundation of any healthy and successful relationship. This phrase is especially true during divorce mediation. Both parties must be able to trust each other and the mediator to work together to find a fair and reasonable resolution. In divorce mediation, the mediator is crucial in creating a safe and non-judgmental environment for both parties to express themselves openly and honestly.
The mediator must establish trust with both parties by demonstrating a neutral stance and ensuring that each party feels heard and understood. This can be achieved through active listening and empathy and by asking open-ended questions that allow both parties to express their thoughts and feelings. This way, they can build trust with each other and the mediator, which is essential to reaching an agreement.
Active Listening: Understanding Each Other’s Perspectives
If you want to learn to communicate effectively, you first need to learn how to listen actively. During mediation, a mediator will encourage both parties to listen actively to each other without interruption or judgment. This allows each party to understand the other’s perspective and needs better. In return, this helps both spouses truly learn about the role of forgiveness in divorce.
The mediator should facilitate active listening by encouraging both parties to repeat what the other person has said to ensure that they have understood correctly. This technique can also help to diffuse tension and create a more peaceful environment.
Effective Communication: Clear, Concise, and Respectful
Effective communication involves more than just active listening and speaking. It also involves using language that is clear, concise, and respectful. During mediation, both parties should feel free to express themselves in a way that is easy to understand and does not cause offense.
The mediator should ensure that both parties are communicating effectively by asking clarifying questions and summarizing what has been said. This technique can help prevent misunderstandings and ensure everyone is on the same page.
Resolving Conflict: Finding a Mutually Beneficial Solution
Conflict is a natural part of any divorce, and it is essential to address it during mediation. Communication is critical in resolving conflict and finding a mutually beneficial solution. During mediation, the mediator should encourage both parties to express their concerns and work together to find a resolution.
For example, let’s say you’re relocating during this period, and not only you’re dealing with moving during a difficult time, but you are not getting enough support and help from your former spouse. This can quickly turn into a conflict and a reason to argue. However, your mediator can help you find ways to address it more constructively. They’ll give you a chance to explain how moving after a divorce makes you feel; in return, your spouse will get a chance to hear you truly. This way, you’ll both get an opportunity to find a solution that works best for both without getting into a heated and emotionally draining argument.
Collaboration: Working Together to Find a Solution
Divorce mediation is a collaborative process that involves both parties working together to find a solution that works for them. And it goes without saying that communication is essential in facilitating this collaboration. The mediator should facilitate this collaboration by encouraging both parties to express their ideas and work together to get to a solution that they both find acceptable. This will help the couple navigate potential future issues and find solutions calmly and constructively.
Moving Forward: Creating a Plan for the Future
Divorce mediation allows both parties to move forward and start the next chapter of their lives. Communication is critical in ensuring that both parties can do so with a sense of closure and satisfaction. A mediator will also encourage both spouses to share their plans for the future.
The mediator should help both parties create a plan to enable them to achieve these goals and move forward with their lives. On top of that, you’ll learn valuable skills that will help you have a strong and healthy relationship further down the line. You’ll be able to easily help your kids feel comfortable in both homes and make sure they go through this transition as smooth and stress-free as possible.
Conclusion
Divorce is never easy, but effective communication during divorce mediation can make the process less stressful and more productive for both parties. Trust, active listening, effective communication, conflict resolution, collaboration, and planning for the future are all essential aspects of communication during divorce mediation.
When both parties are committed to communicating effectively, they can create a more peaceful and mutually beneficial solution that allows them to move forward with closure and satisfaction. By working together, both parties can avoid litigation’s high costs and emotional stress and instead create a solution that works for everyone involved.
Author Marcy Green is a single mom of two living in Downtown Miami. She is a full-time content writer, and she is also working on getting a real estate license and exploring a new career. In her spare time, she enjoys going to the beach with her two boys. When her ex has the kids, she loves going on weekend trips with her friends or simply relaxing on her couch with a good book.
The Role of Forgiveness in Divorce
Divorce hurts, regardless of how you look at it. Your life is permanently changed, as is your children’s. You must face an infinite stream of challenges for a while. But you endure because you are aware that you must go on, and finally, you ask yourself, “How can I forgive and move forward?” The pain you are feeling due to your divorce is at the heart of this issue, and that’s why forgiving is crucial. Because divorce involves so many wounds, betrayals, and lost dreams, it’s also one of the most challenging difficulties to overcome while recovering after divorce. Therefore, let’s learn more about the role of forgiveness in divorce. We begin by explaining what forgiveness is.
What is forgiveness?
Forgiveness implies different things to every one of us. But generally speaking, it means consciously letting go of resentment and anger. The person or thing who injured or humiliated you could always be with you. But, you may loosen the grasp that behavior has on you by working on your forgiveness. It also helps release you from the grip of the person who hurt you. Occasionally, forgiving someone inspires compassion, understanding, and empathy for the person who injured you. However, forgiveness doesn’t mean forgetting or excusing the wrongdoing done to you. It also doesn’t always entail making amends with the person that hurt you. Instead, forgiveness gives a particular type of tranquility by allowing you to focus on yourself and continue your life.
What is the role of forgiveness in divorce?
Forgiving can be challenging, depending on the circumstances and problems at hand. However, while going through an extremely tough and traumatic event, forgiving could be one of the most significant and probably most powerful feelings you could have. To help you understand what it could mean to forgive your ex-spouse, here are some benefits of forgiveness in divorce:
Forgiveness teaches you to set healthy boundaries
By forgiving, we set healthy boundaries and avoid saying or implying that what was done to us was okay. The best approach to ensure that you are never hurt by someone again is not to hold a grudge. Being upfront about what you are and are not prepared to do as you move forward is a stronger, better mindset.
You can regain control over your life by forgiving
There are several approaches to forgiving someone during a divorce. For many individuals, some of these approaches will be more effective than others. However, forgiving others may be uplifting during a divorce, regardless of the method. Why? Because many believe they lose control of their life during and after a divorce. In truth, they still control their feelings and thoughts over the whole process. They just need to realize these facts, and forgiveness can help. The ability to consciously let go and move on can help a person’s future, and this new chapter in their life be free from any influence from past hurts or even the ex-spouse themself. As a result, the role of forgiveness in divorce is to help you regain control over your life.
Forgiveness can change your perspective
When we can accept other people as they are and give up on trying to change them, it frequently changes how we relate to them, what we demand from them, and how much we need to be able to forgive them. If there is no expectation that they are anything other than who they truly are, having a realistic perspective of another person will help reduce anger and resentment toward them. You might even realize that there is nothing to forgive and that the truth was lying in front of you all this time. You just needed to see it.
Forgiving will keep you healthy
During a divorce, your mental and physical health suffers. You are stressed, anxious, can’t sleep, can’t eat, and feel like you are falling apart bit by bit. According to research, when we practice forgiveness, we lessen these intense emotions, which lowers our heart rate, blood pressure, and general stress levels. At the same time, it reduces our level of exhaustion, tension, and inner conflict. Perhaps it even improves our ability to sleep at night. As the saying goes: “ Never go to bed angry!” Therefore, set your priorities and practice forgiveness, and you will have a healthy mind and body to get you through your most difficult times.
Forgiveness in divorce will help your children
Nobody gains from spending time with someone resentful and hostile toward others, especially if it’s someone they care about. Therefore, you may set a positive example for your kids by trying to refrain from talking negatively about or toward your ex-spouse. It’s a simple technique to reduce their stress and make it easier for them to benefit from their interactions with both parents. As a result, you will have happier kids wanting to spend more time with you.
Forgiveness gives you closure
Deciding to let go of your hatred and bitterness against your ex-spouse is similar to wrapping your divorce in pretty packing paper. You may peacefully shut that door by stating that you can forget the mistakes made in your previous relationship. Again, you won’t experience total forgiveness instantly. But if you work on it daily, you’ll get there sooner than expected.
Forgiveness will help you avoid a messy divorce
If you can forgive your ex-spouse, reaching an agreement with them will be much easier. And that can be vital when you want a fast and clean divorce that will leave as few marks as possible. On the other hand, the more you argue and disagree with your former partner, the messier your divorce might become. So what do you choose? The decision is entirely up to you!
Closing thoughts
While forgiveness doesn’t require forgetting, it does give you a chance to be free. In truth, forgiveness is one of the most valuable gifts you can offer yourself during the divorce process. It won’t always be simple, just like everything else, but you’ll find it gratifying. So never overlook the importance of forgiveness in divorce. Your future life depends on it!
Author bio: Lisa Perry is a divorce survivor and single mom navigating the often-turbulent journey of post-divorce life. Lisa is writing and working with Bright Futures Treatment Center experts to help others find their light at the end of the tunnel.
Meta: Do you know the role of forgiveness in divorce? If not, learn from this article the great benefits forgiveness can bring.
KW: Forgiveness in divorce
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The Biggest Benefits of Decluttering After Divorce
Dealing with a divorce might be one of the most challenging things you have ever faced. It isn’t going to be easy, but it’s one of those times and opportunities life gives you to come back stronger than ever before and to blossom into your newly discovered self. Nevertheless, don’t forget that allowing yourself to grieve is an integral part of healing. But, the crucial moment is the beginning of a new chapter in your life. This is why decluttering after divorce has numerous benefits. Therefore, in this article, globalguidetodivorce.com will share its numerous benefits to your healing journey.
Why decluttering after divorce is essential
Since dealing with a divorce is usually overwhelming and tiring, you might not feel capable of cleaning and decluttering your home and choose to postpone it. Nevertheless, even if it is painful, it needs to be done – like ripping off a bandage. If you choose to postpone it, it might hurt more after some time to stir up your feelings by going through the items that remind you of your former spouse. Therefore, decluttering as soon as possible is an essential part of the road to recovery after divorce. So, please don’t put it off; gather the strength to do it, and let the healing process begin.
Decluttering your home after a divorce can reduce stress and anxiety
There is nothing better than clearing your home to clear out your mind. Many feng shui experts state that individuals who don’t keep unnecessary things in their homes are more relaxed and less likely to feel stress and anxiety. Creating more space lets you breathe – is a sentence used quite often.
Many individuals opt for minimalistic decorations precisely for this reason. They don’t give out the feeling of a cluttered space that holds no room for anything else, and that can be suffocating when you are going through a sensitive period in your life. Besides, decluttering after divorce will ensure that you take the first step to let go of the past. And once you do, there will be no more room for stress or anxiety. You will see how liberating it can feel to let go. Therefore, out with the old and in with the new.
Caption: Decluttering after divorce means creating space for new and positive things in your life. The sooner you start decluttering, the sooner you start healing.
How to declutter
While you may not be eager to eliminate the memories that were a part of your life for so long, it is crucial for moving on. Throwing away anything that isn’t necessary or useful to you on your healing journey is a move for the bold, but it is fine if you are not ready for this step. There are many more alternatives. Go easy on yourself. It is entirely normal to still feel connected to specific items that remind you of pleasant times. However, if they trigger painful memories, it might be a good idea to hide them for a while. For example, preparing your items for storage is an excellent step forward. You can get your items ready to be taken away, and you won’t have to look at them and be reminded of your past life. Once you are healed, you may feel differently about them and do the things you didn’t have the strength to do before.
Redecorating can bring a sense of a fresh new start
Getting creative when it comes to redecorating and creating a new space in your life can be incredibly healing. According to some psychology experts, eliminating large pieces of furniture can even be therapeutic. It would be an excellent idea to redecorate your home entirely according to your taste. However, this isn’t always practical since divorces can get pretty expensive, and you may not have the necessary funds to do so. Nevertheless, changing even the smallest of details means that you are taking positive action in life. Getting something new that is just for you can influence you to think positively. Maybe now you can buy that thing you always wanted but knew your spouse would hate.
Caption: Redecorating your entire home has numerous positive effects on your nervous system that will help you get through a tough time.
Making the big change
The final cause of decluttering and redecorating is to make things feel different and fresh. This might mean you will have to eliminate everything from your past life. It’s not unusual for people to move to another state after divorce. But before you start a new chapter, ensure you are free from any attachment to things or people. Letting go of the things you were once attached to is essential to healing your broken heart, especially if you find that they often make you sad or lonely. Please do it for your future self, who will be happy and full of life after you heal.
Caption: It’s not unusual for many people to decide to move after a divorce. A new city gives numerous opportunities for a fresh start.
Final words
Letting go of the past is usually painful and awakens many negative feelings like anger, sadness, anxiety, or even depression. However challenging it may look now, try to think about what lies ahead. Once you get through this, you will experience change and growth. There is much wisdom in pain, so allow yourself to grieve. After your tears dry, it’s time to take action. After reading this article, you have seen the many benefits of decluttering after divorce. So, get some boxes and start making space for the good things life will inevitably bring your way.
Meta Description: If you are having difficulties moving on after a divorce, you may want to see the biggest benefits of decluttering after divorce.
Author’s bio: Angie Johnson is a writer who takes a keen interest in psychology and whose articles are primarily dedicated to self-help topics. She is happily divorced and lives in Massachusetts with her daughter Julie and their golden retriever Sparky.
How to Help Your Kids Feel Comfortable in Two Homes
When parents separate or divorce, it can be difficult for children to adjust to having two homes, one with each parent. Children are notoriously bad at adapting to new environments and regular changes. On the other hand, a kid gets a brand new place to call his or her own, a fresh bedroom to personalize, and a whole new area to discover. You may make the transition to dual residence easier on everyone by taking some measures, whether you’re setting up a new address or keeping the current one throughout the separation or divorce. Here are some ways to help your kids feel comfortable in two homes.
Give them their own space
Many people don’t realize how chaotic divorce may be. It may still be a hassle even when everyone is on the same page. However, once family law professionals have helped you reach a resolution, it is time to prioritize your children’s health and happiness.
First, make sure you and your ex-spouse both provide a room for the children. They can have their own room, a section of the closet, or even just a corner of the living room to store their belongings and do their homework. Having their own space may make a big difference in how youngsters adjust to their new environment.
Establish routines
Children benefit significantly from routines because they provide stability and predictability. Create consistent patterns for them to follow from house to house. Make an effort to coordinate with your ex so that your children have consistent routines in both homes, particularly regarding scheduling activities, such as bedtime, screen time, and curfews. It’s okay for each parent to have their own rules and routines, but it’s preferable if there isn’t a massive difference if you want to help your kids feel comfortable in two homes.
Keep in touch with your kids
Discover a strategy to stay in touch with your children when they are staying with their other parent, without intruding on the time that parent is spending with the children. You may set up a daily phone conversation, video chat, or at least check in every few days. You can support your kids during the divorce in this way. In order to assist your kids in keeping track of when they should be there, a color-coded calendar might be kept in each house.
Keep your cool
Although it may seem simple, this is typically the hardest to do. The only time some parents see each other is during their child’s transition, and they may utilize this time to work out their differences. Keep your youngster out of the center of your disagreements by having these talks behind closed doors. Besides, such matters can be discussed by email or phone call between visits. Make sure there is no unnecessary drama throughout the changeover.
Have open conversations
Open communication about both households is another strategy to help your kids feel comfortable in two homes. It’s sometimes hard to make decisions when you’re divorced, and communication is usually very hard to upkeep. It’s tough to deal with the emotions that come with a divorce, but remember that your children value both of their homes. It’s important to show them that you value their opinion and are willing to give them the attention and validation they need because they are an integral part of your life. Your child should feel no remorse for enjoying the love and support of both families. So, keep things upbeat and civil.
Don’t compete
It might be difficult for the parent who stays at the original house to hear their children talk enthusiastically about the new room at the other parent’s house. However, this is not the time to attempt to outdo the other parent by renovating your children’s former bedroom. In this situation, the last thing a youngster needs is additional change. Their excitement about the new home shouldn’t make them feel bad about themselves, so try not to compete.
Make a packing plan
Traveling back and forth between many residences can be taxing on everyone’s energy levels. Toiletries, pajamas, spare clothes, books, and movies should be kept on hand at both residences to help ease this burden. Assist smaller children with their overnight packing the night before. Make sure you pack some of their favorite toys, too. Here are some simple tips you can use for packing toys that will ensure your smallest ones feel comfortable leaving home. This can be another gentle hint to your kiddo that it’s about time to go visit the other parent.
Have them do chores and don’t spoil them
Having kids pitch in with household chores makes them feel more included in the family. Ensure the youngsters don’t perform more or less work than their siblings do and that the chores are similar at both houses. You can also help them learn to take care of themselves.
Additionally, as a means of making their children feel at home or due to feelings of guilt associated with the breakup, some parents who have gone through a divorce may indulge their children with presents and lax regulations. They won’t feel more loved if they’re spoiled, and it may make them feel as though their love is being bought if they act entitled.
Plan activities
A child’s emotions are tested throughout a divorce, and it takes more than a few days for them to feel normal again. Therefore, while they are living with you, it is essential to organize some enjoyable activities to get their minds off of the situation. In the end, kids will remember the good times they had at your house, not the sad memories of the divorce. To help your kids feel comfortable in two homes, put in the additional effort to spend quality time together doing things like arts and crafts, playing football in the garden, or working on a project.
Final words
It’s natural for children to feel down after a divorce. Everyone needs time to settle into their new habits and acclimate to the changes. There is no doubt that you and your ex-spouse want what is best for your children. So, follow this guide to help your kids feel comfortable in two homes and provide them with a safe and fulfilling upbringing.
Meta: If you’re going through a divorce, you’ll want to read this guide to help your kids feel comfortable in two homes.
Author’s bio: Mary K. is a happily divorced mother of four and a passionate blogger with a green thumb. Between juggling her children, caring for her plants, and writing helpful content for divorcees, Mary enjoys hosting dinner parties for friends.
Why Owning a Pet is Beneficial for You and Your Family
The majority of us have great experiences growing up with pets in our homes. They are usually our very first closest friends, and they help us get through some of the most difficult periods in our lives. However, pets are much more than just furry friends. Owning animals can genuinely improve both mental and physical health, as well as the development of young children who live with cats, dogs, and other family pets.
Therefore, think twice before rejecting your child’s request for a cute dog or kitten the next time they make the request. You could be pleasantly surprised by the advantages of keeping a pet for your kids. Here are some of the reasons why you should consider:
- More sympathy, care, and respect for others
According to research, kids who often engage with pets have an edge when forming connections with other people. Even for adults, socializing may be difficult, so you can only imagine how frightening it can be at times for kids. Pets are an excellent way to practice developing relationships since they don’t judge your child whether they forget to be polite or are having a bad day. But most importantly, they want accountability and care. As they look out for their pets, children will grow more sensitive to the needs of others.
There’s no denying that kids and animals can connect on a unique level—we’ve all read books and watched movies about kids and dogs that have unbreakable relationships. Giving your kids responsibility for the care of your pet will strengthen this attachment and teach them valuable lessons. Simple duties like feeding the dog in the morning or cleaning the cat’s litter box can be included. When your children finish up their pet chores, compliment them and give them greater responsibility if they show signs of maturity.
- Better mental and physical well-being
The benefits of having a household pet are not just limited to cats or dogs; experts have also found relaxing effects from having fish and other small animals at home. Both kids and adults do better emotionally and physically when they have a pet.
- The happy hormones that promote positive feelings like pleasure, happiness, and even love, can be increased by playing with pets.
- Owners of pets have lower triglyceride and cholesterol levels than non-pet owners, which are risk factors for heart disease.
- When under extreme stress, people who own pets have lower blood pressure than those who do not.
- A close companion for your child
Every week, parents spend many hours attempting to keep their kids happy and engaged. Simple daily activities for your child, like petting the household cat or taking the dog for a walk, can be enjoyable and calming. Additionally, playing with pets is a wonderful method for your kid to develop relationships with these beloved members of your family.
Friendship issues can arise in children of any age. While a 15-year-old might be concerned about rifts splitting their buddy group apart, a 5-year-old might be worried about making friends at school. But despite all the difficulties we face in our interactions as children and adults, our pets remain our loyal, loving companions.
- Opportunities to learn
The best pets are those that have been taught; they can follow simple instructions, act appropriately in public, and are safe with other animals and people. With the proper equipment and some parental assistance, the majority of children are quite competent in training friendly, non-aggressive animals. Even training a new dog or cat may be a family effort that strengthens your bonds.
Your children will develop their patience and consistency by training a new pet. They’ll develop healthy habits and learn the advantages of exerting themselves to accomplish a task.
- A bond that will last forever
Owning a pet is like expanding your family by one. They are always around you and are likely to accompany you on camping trips, family reunions, and other significant gatherings. They will appear in family portraits and be the center of many great memories. In addition, your children’s bond with your pets may be their first exposure to loving and caring for someone who is more innocent than themselves. They won’t ever forget those precious memories.
Pets can be a wonderful addition to any household and have a lot to give. To find the ideal pet for your family, it is essential to do as much research and explore the market as you can. Although getting a pet requires a substantial commitment, the benefits for your family make the effort worthwhile.
Author is Michael Morris of 6XD Media
7 Tips for Moving Out After a Divorce
Whether your relationship lasts for three months or thirty years, ending it is challenging. Furthermore, living with the one you’re leaving makes things even more difficult. Every post-relationship move-out has unique difficulties. For instance, you must consider any kids or pets while making your plans. If both parties agree, you must split your property. And, if you were married, you’ll need to contact a lawyer. However, even though each move-out is unique, there are a few best practices and tips for moving out after a divorce. Here are some recommendations for making the whole process easier.
1. Wait for the divorce to finalize
Always, but always, wait until your divorce is fully finalized before leaving the house. It might be a very normal reaction to want to stand up and go when emotions are overwhelming. However, divorce lawyers claim that it is one of the worst errors you can make. And it’s easy to understand why. Legally, you are regarded to have abandoned the family if you do this. Furthermore, if the divorce is messy, your ex-spouse may use it against you to get the house, the kids, and other assets. Therefore, first put an end to everything legally and then continue with moving out after the divorce.
2. Dividing your belongings
After a divorce, moving out also means dealing with the inconvenience of dividing up your joint possessions. And even if it might be alluring to take everything you’ve ever purchased with you, mainly if you believe your ex has harmed you somehow, don’t. Moving too many things after a breakup can easily prove to be a mistake from a practical, economical, and emotional standpoint. Moreover, even if you’re doing it to punish your former spouse, just give it some thought. Shortly, the reasoning will become clear.
3. Declutter
After a divorce, moving out of the house offers you an excellent reason to purge your possessions. After all, relocating to your new place will be much simpler if you downsize your stuff. As a result, be careful to go through everything you own and divide it into piles. The keeping pile should contain only the things that you need or use. The throw-away pile is self-explanatory. Get rid of everything that you can’t use anymore. Also, consider getting rid of emotional belongings connected to your ex-spouse since you want to make your fresh start as simple as possible. For instance, you shouldn’t keep old photos from when you were happily in love. After all, you don’t want to bring melancholia or depression into your new life.
The last pile should contain items you can give, sell, or donate. And if you don’t have where to keep them until they find a new home, remember that extra storage space can help a lot in these situations. Many people need a safe space to keep their belongings after the divorce, and storage units are the perfect solution.
4. Remember that you are not alone
You shouldn’t be left to manage moving out after a divorce alone. In most circumstances, you’ll feel physically exhausted after ending a marriage. That can make it difficult for you to pull off a successful self-move. Moreover, the emotional toll of ending a chapter of your life will also negatively impact your physical health. Therefore, friends’ and family members’ emotional and physical support is essential at such a trying time. You will need to rely on their support more than ever before you can relocate and claim a new place as your own.
Ask friends if you can stay with them until you find a place or if they can come over and help you pack. Call family members to come and keep you company or to do relaxing activities together. Fill your time and heart with the people you love and that love you, and moving out won’t seem like such a tragedy anymore.
5. Start packing what you are taking with you
It is best to begin packing as soon as possible. Therefore, try to start your packing at least ten days in advance. Pack unnecessary goods first, followed by necessities. If you are moving to a new state, keep toiletries and prescription drugs in a personal bag you can easily access. Having everything you need at hand while on the road is essential. In addition, give each package a descriptive label. Then, pack everything smaller in a box that will fit. All these tips will make moving day much more straightforward.
6. Find good movers
Throughout this journey, you will rely on friends and family immensely. Therefore, moving out after a divorce is best left in the hands of professional movers who are objective and detached from emotion. However, the more in advance you can book the movers, the better. Even if scheduling your movers weeks in advance may not be feasible given the current situation, doing it on time is better. Many movers will also accept last-minute reservations. Or, you might consider relocating yourself if you don’t have the money or need movers. But if you decide you’re relocating by yourself, at least reserve your rental vehicle early on.
7. Start fresh
Your next big adventure will be figuring out your new single, post-divorce existence. You can have a fresh beginning when you move into your new house. It will feel almost therapeutic to figure out your new style and decorate your home to reflect it. In truth, your new life chapter beginning is here. With a house that represents your tastes and serves as your oasis, you will soon go on the path of your choice.
Final words
Nobody can say that moving out after a divorce is easy. However, you can make it more manageable with a few simple tips. Be sure to follow them and ask for support from friends and family each step of the way. And if the whole process overwhelms you, hire professionals to do the hard work for you. A helping hand is always welcome.
Author is Amy Baker Content manager @ US Content Group
Meta: Moving out after a divorce doesn’t have to be challenging. Read our to make your experience easier to handle.
KW: Moving out after a divorce
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Improv Acting Saved My Life
Two scary characters peered into our store windows. Instead of locking the doors right away, we just hoped they would move on. Big mistake. These bald men were covered with tattoos beginning at the top of their heads. They entered our store. I did not hear Babs whisper “Run out the back door.” She sprinted out the front to the shop next door.
After spotting the outline of a gun in one of the thug’s pockets, with his hand on it, I decided to stay put – more afraid of being shot in the back. After a few minutes of the pair walking around the store, I wondered why the police had not yet arrived. Dead quiet with no sirens. They looked high on meth and were missing some teeth in spite of being in their early thirties.
They went over to where gold jewellery was hanging on the wall. I remained calm and decided improv acting could be my ticket to safety. I took on the role of the airhead blonde, clueless and nonthreatening. One fingered the chains and slipped some in his pocket. I suggested he examine them and gently retrieved them and held them up.
“There, see what I mean” I sang out as I hung them back on the hook. “They are tin – painted gold, very cheap.” “Oh” the robber replied, “What about this one?” the confused man asked. I answered “Notice it is slightly curved like a tin can. Why would you want these?” I had the dumbest look on my face pretending I thought they were shoppers.
At this point, they forgot about grabbing the cash and focused on why they would want tacky stuff. Seems like they were thinking about how they would not get much money for them. Since these guys are not the sharpest tools in the box, I asked. “Wouldn’t you rather have the really good jewellery from the shop around the corner?” No shop was really there.
Of course, the only answer was “Yes” for these connoisseurs of quality. I opened the door and told them “I have to point it out to you from the sidewalk so you go the right way. You make a turn (gesturing right) Come on; I have to show you.”
The greedy, gullible men followed and went outside as I kept pointing. As they looked in that direction, I quickly slipped inside and shut the door. They rattled the locked door of the store next door. My co-worker ran in from the back door. Babs had called 911 who refused to help since she had gotten out of the store. They claimed she was not in danger. Did not matter to them that I was still there. Ludicrous.
Babs proceeded to call the police and explained about the attempted robbery and the perpetrators were still in the vicinity of our downtown store. We closed the store and in the half hour we were still there, the police never arrived.
Doing imrov acting saved me from possibly getting shot. The dumb blonde act helped the robbers to relax and not be trigger happy. I remained calm while acting. As I as getting in my car, I started shaking after this adventure.
Changing Careers Mid-Life
Ever think about changing your career after age 45? Feel stuck or unfulfilled? Want to join this trend? If so – you are in good company. CBS Evening News with Norah O’Donnell said that “60% of American workers change careers after 45.” Today individuals are less likely to spend decades in the same job.
What can cause people to jump ship from an established career and try something new? Life changes such as divorce is one reason. People may be getting back into the job market when their marriage dissolves. This happened to me. I opened up a medical practice in my twenties and lost it in my divorce in my forties. I was out of a job which then propelled me to pursue a different track.
Another cause is Empty Nest. The chicks have flown the nest. You have time for yourself and the energy to discover what work seems interesting. One is forced to deal with change when a place of employment folds. Sometimes there is not much notice.
A way to get started in finding a new career option is to follow your passion. What is it that gives purpose and meaning to your life? Could that become a career? A friend is a wonderful artist. Her passion is saving animals. She put this dream into action after her divorce. She set up a small non-profit sanctuary for farm animals. Ones that are retired, neglected or might be killed. Then she began to paint these new residents. What came as a surprise was how well these paintings of sheep, cows and so forth, sold. She branched out in to having cards and prints made of her pictures. The bonus is that it helps fund the sanctuary.
Another example is my son’s kindergarten teacher. Her passion has always been flowers. Mid-life, Miss Marla left teaching and opened up her own florist shop. Years later she was so happy to make a prom corsage for my son’s girlfriend. Let your passion be your guiding star.
It can be helpful to have a firm idea of what you will be doing after leaving current job. My friend’s husband is in his early sixties. He will be retiring from an intensive engineering position in a few years. His passion is riding his dirt bike and motorcycle. He already has a job lined up at a store, selling parts for motorcycles and dirt bikes. He is looking forward to this career change.
Do an assessment. What skills do you currently have that could be utilized in your new career? Do some research. Will you need to get more training? Can you update your knowledge by taking online courses? Look at your finances. Do you have enough to fund more education if this is needed? Going to part-time is one way to still bring in income, while pursuing other job options.
Internships are a great method to gain practical skills for working in a different field. Although they might be unpaid, the knowledge learned is invaluable. It may be possible to volunteer when contemplating starting over again. A veterinarian student volunteered in an animal clinic. Although her motive was to gain experience, volunteering helped Chloe realize this was not the career change which best suited her. Her passion is animals and becoming a vet seemed to be the logical choice. Chloe was traumatized when animals were in pain or had to be euthanized. Before plunking a huge amount of cash down for a new path, ensure it is the best fit for you.
Remove obstacles. What is holding you back? Is it others telling you what you want to do will not work or are pressuring you to stay in a high paying job which you loathe? This is your life and you decide how to live it.
Is fear of failure holding you back? If you let an opportunity pass by (new career) you will be talking about it on your deathbed. As a nurse, I have been the recipient of these type of conversations. When feeling confused or pulled indifferent direction, consider seeing a professional, such as a career coach. They can look at your situation realistically and help you formulate strategies to achieve your career goal.
Helping Kids Care for Themselves: Parental Strategies That Work
Growing up in our modern world is as challenging as ever. Part of our job as co-parents is to give children the skills for handling whatever comes their way. The following guide from Wendi’s Tips explores a few practical tactics for raising self-sufficient individuals that are unafraid of tackling life’s challenges.
Modeling Behavior
We come into our lives without knowing anything, so growth begins through imitation. Infants and toddlers, especially, learn by copying adults. Caregivers that overly rely on digital entertainment for occupying tykes risk granting Hollywood too much influence. Circumvent this by switching off devices and engaging in family time. One substitute is instituting a game night. The presence of healthy competition allows you to demonstrate how to lose gracefully and that failure isn’t a tragedy. As a bonus, many games teach fundamentals, such as numbers and colors.
Should your child flip over the board in a fit of rage, take the opportunity to discuss different coping practices. For instance, punching a pillow is a harmless approach to burning away anger. Writing down frustrations and tearing the paper into tiny pieces can also provide emotional release. Meditation requires more time and knowledge but has longer-lasting effects. When outside forces cause grownup stress, let young ones observe you washing away frustration through Eastern practices.
Another refocusing technique is exercise. Make physical activity a joyful experience by turning it into a performance or family dance party. If your child is more an artist than an athlete, draw, paint, or otherwise get messy while putting feelings on canvas. Storytelling allows youth to divulge serious issues they might not be comfortable addressing directly. Set the stage for expressing inner observations by weaving a tale of your own.
Creating Peace
The first step to a peaceful, healthy home environment is to make sure that the products you purchase, whether kitchen gadgets or toys, are conducive to health and safety. To learn about potential purchases, it’s best to seek out unbiased reviews online. A good review can fill you in on need-to-know information about a product’s quality, which can keep you from making a poor purchase decision.
It’s easiest for everyone to be calm in an environment that facilitates that end. Start by decluttering, which has the benefit of making the air healthier. Tossing junk also creates additional room for activities and supports clear thinking.
Refresh your newly decluttered space with houseplants. Choose flora that’s ideal for boosting moods and reducing stress. Involve juveniles by allowing them to pick a few they find appealing. That and assigning them watering duties should help them bond with nature. Position plants in spots with ample light so they’ll grow. Keep blinds and shades open, as exposure to the sun also positively affects humans and pets. Using an oil diffuser makes homes smell fresh and happy. Be careful that the one you choose cannot harm your pets.
Your peaceful home should also extend to your yard, which should be an enticing place for you and your children to play. To help keep your yard looking its best, search online for an aeration service near you. You can quickly find a list of companies that can perform yard maintenance along with customer reviews and ratings. This can help you make an informed decision about who to hire.
Prioritizing Youth
Besides creating a calm house and showing children how to deal with setbacks, positive growth is dependent on spending quality time around one another. Fulfilling this responsibility as a single parent can be tricky, especially during busy times of the year. The best way of assuring your kids get the attention they need is by creating a plan, which should make reaching your goal less stressful.
Daily routines you might want to incorporate into your household lifestyle include bedtime rituals, such as teeth brushing and book reading. Before suppertime, set the expectation that kids complete simple chores around cooking duties. As a reward for completing these tasks, plan a day trip to an offbeat museum or age-appropriate escape room. These excursions will give your entire tribe something worth anticipating.
Divorce and life as a co-parent can be both challenging and scary, so follow Wendi’s Tips for help navigating this phase of you and your children’s lives.
Author Janice Russell believes the only way to survive parenthood is to find the humor in it. She created Parenting Disasters so that parents would have a go-to resource whenever they needed a laugh, but also to show parents they aren’t alone. She wants every frazzled parent out there to remember that for every kid stuck in a toilet, there’s another one out there somewhere who’s just graced their parents’ walls with some Sharpie artwork!
When A Relationship Ends Abruptly – What To Do
One can go into full-blown shock when the other person abruptly ends your relationship. Even if there were a few hints something was amiss, it is still a shock. Hard to believe this is happening. As far as the other person is concerned, there is not much you can do. If they made up their mind to break it off, it is done.
Harder when the decision was made and you were not notified. You see then at work, a social event, their musical gig, whatever and find out at the same time as everyone else. They may take great pains to ignore you. Maybe are dramatic and turn their back if you get nearby. Not cool when done publicly at a gathering.
Of course, you would like an explanation and not be playing guessing games in your head. This may never happen. It is difficult when there are loose threads. In both cases – whether you got an explanation or were ghosted – closure is needed. Easier to move on when there is a clear-cut ending in your mind.
Accept what happened is final. Wishing for a reunion keeps you attached to them and is it not going to happen. You are wasting time and energy on this fantasy. This mental connection prevents one from moving on.
The big thing about an abrupt ending is not having closure. Since there is no communication, you cannot be sure if it was something you did or if got dropped for a new love interest. One is left hanging. If someone is upset that should be discussed. If a boundary was crossed into a no-go area, then at least you would understand why there is an ending. It is childish for them to do silence.
Emotionally getting through this situation
Spend a day really feeling your grief. Cry, wail, scream, curse or whatever else you feel needs expressing. You are experiencing a loss, a death of a relationship. Concentrate on dealing with it being over. Later as time moves on, you can appreciate the fun times. You got some life lessons from this episode.
Rally your support system around you. Call or go out with friends. Talk it out with them. Have some fun. Try a new café.
Get out in nature. Take walks in leafy areas. Exercise releases pent up energy and anxiety. One feels better after a run when the endorphins are increased. Getting a physical work out calms nerves and helps one be able to deal with this situation.
What to do or not do
Do not contact them no matter how tempting it is to text or call. This is giving them power to reject you again.
If they call, do not answer it. Go ahead and listen to their message later, if you want. If a text is sent, do not respond. If you cannot resist, then say “I accept that you ended our relationship. I am moving on now.”
They may beg for a second chance and promise to change. That would be short-lived and the disrespect would creep back in again. If they were really into you, this would not have happened in the first place.
There is a void – empty space inside of you from their departure. Fill it up. When one removes a dead tree, they do not leave a big hole. It is filled in with a plant or something else. Plant something else inside of you. Take up a new activity. Join a MeetUp.com group and expand your social network.
Getting into a new environment can help. You are not running into them or dealing with as many triggers. Travel to an enticing destination on your bucket list. The point is not to allow them to dwell in your head.
Ending a relationship abruptly is disrespectful and not valuing you. Do you really want a relationship where you are not cherished and it is all about them? No!! You deserve much more. Move on to someone who will appreciate you.
Reviving A Long-Term Relationship
Tips on how to add sparkle to a long-term relationship and avoid a divorce. Before calling it quits, explore different ways to bring the relationship back to life. Does your marriage feel like a prison sentence? Boredom and being in a rut can make a marriage seem dull and lifeless. Hints on how to revive your marriage.
Several couples took up golf together with the added bonus of improving their game in foreign locales. See if you can build upon a common interest – plus it gives you both something to talk about. Some couples have bought a holiday home and renovating it reignited the spark in their marriages.
Go out to a neutral place, such as a café and have a respectful conversation about your feelings. Use “I” statements, “I feel…” without blame or accusations. Intently listen to his responses and what he feels could be changed in your marriage.
S00metimes people rely too much on their spouse for companionship and to meet their social needs. The happiest couples I know each have some individual pursuits and interests outside of their relationships. Consider widening your social network through such groups as MeetUp.com to enrich your life and to see if this improves your marriage.
Take a vacation together to provide time to talk in a pleasant atmosphere. It may be easier to have structured group time, such as being on a tour or cruise. Then there is a balance between interacting with others and having alone time. Getting away from your routines and environment, plus having a lot to talk about can realign a relationship.
If you have been drifting apart and pass each other as two ships in the night – plan for couple time. Each week, alternate who selects the agenda for a night out. What fun trying new restaurants, attending concerts and seeing films. Some celebrities have claimed they split up due to lack of time together.
Put yourselves in each other’s shoes to see a new perspective to the other’s point of view. Is there validity to their complaints? Some couples have come up with this compromise – each stopping an annoying habit. One husband habitually threw his towel and clothes on the floor. The wife’s cosmetics and lotions covered the bathroom counter. Each spouse ceased the aggravating behavior and now have been married for over two decades.
Sometimes a partner has to leave for a period of time to really think things through. They may choose a work sabbatical or live in a distant land to determine if they should stay or divorce. Some have to get out of their place to gain clarity for their situation.
You may want to get legal advice and have a trial separation handled by an attorney. This formal separation may become the first step to a divorce.
If there is abuse – get out of the situation quickly. A domestic violence shelter can advise one how to extricate herself in the best way from an abusive spouse.
Consider marital counselling with your spouse. It can show you how to communicate more effectively which is important both in marriage or divorce. The Retrouvaille Program has weekend retreats for couples to get their marriages back on track. If divorce is imminent, then counselling helps a couple to have an easier time parting ways.
Divorce does not have to be the end of a relationship, but rather a change in it.
Guide for Moving to a New State After a Divorce
After a divorce, you may be looking to turn a new leaf and start afresh in a completely different location. But before you pin a map to the wall and throw a dart at it to find your new spot, there are a few things – and people – you need to take into consideration. So let’s go over four instances where planning ahead will help you make the right decision:
If You’re Looking for a New Place to Live
Costs of living vary greatly from state to state and even from city to city, so take that into consideration before you settle on a place to live and consider what you’ll be able to afford, taking into account spousal support, child custody, and other expenses. And before you even look at your options, if you and your ex-spouse have children together, discuss how you’ll share custody once you two live further apart, and make sure you have your co-parent’s consent in writing before you take off to a different state. Look at the available amenities in the neighborhoods you are considering moving into, and make sure they are safe and suitable for your children.
If You’re Ready to Relocate
Before you book your movers to take you to your new home, make sure your divorce is completely finalized and take inventory of what you have, what you plan on taking with you, and what you want to get rid of. When you have shared assets with your ex-spouse, it’s best to discuss together how you’re planning on dividing those and come to an amicable agreement. Also, remember that if you’re the one moving away, it will cost you less money to transport fewer items across states than a complete household move would. Once you’ve decided on what you’re keeping, look for movers in your area and get at least three quotes in writing before choosing a company. And don’t forget to read reviews online to avoid scam artists and unreliable people.
If You’re Starting a Business
If you’re planning on launching a business after you relocate, make sure you check the legal requirements for business ownership in your new state in order to stay compliant and avoid penalties. Create a plan describing your company, detail how you’re planning on selling your products or services, explain how your business will be structured, include what funding you’ll need to get your startup off the ground, and come up with some financial projections to attract possible investors. And if you’re looking to find partners for your new venture, think about joining the local chamber of commerce, or renting a coworking space where you’ll get to mingle with other solopreneurs and make new friends in your new city.
If You Need to Find a New Doctor
Relocating to a different state means you’ll need to find new doctors, such as a dentist and a general practitioner, to help you manage your health and to treat you in case of illness or injury. If you haven’t found your bearings in your new place yet, you can find an online doctor and get an appointment for a remote consultation. This is an easy, safe, convenient, and private way to seek treatment if you’re not feeling well, or if you’re just in need of a checkup. You’ll be able to book a same-day appointment from anywhere, and if you need medication, your prescription will be sent to the pharmacy of your choice for added convenience.
Making a complete life change after a divorce by relocating to a different state may help you in your emotional recovery. But before you embark on your next adventure, make sure you do your research. And don’t leave any loose ends that could cause you and your ex-spouse potential issues later.
Looking for advice on dating, relationships, or divorce? At globalguidetodivorce.com, you’ll find tips on co-parenting, legal issues, and much, much more.
Author is Suzie Wilson ⎸info@happierhome.net ⎸Happier Home