Sign Up for
Our Newsletter

Global Guide to Divorce

Jack Jack the Cat

Spring and Summer Safety: Tips to Protect Your Kids

As parents, we instinctively want to shield our kids from danger. Sometimes, however, the outdoors can present hazards we might not even dream of, especially during the warmer months of the year. Courtesy of Jack Jack the Cat, we share some tips for ensuring your children are protected.    

Outdoor Inspection   

Even if you took precautions last fall, it may be time to tidy up once spring arrives, as winter can be hard on a home’s exterior. Take a walk around your property, looking carefully for potential concerns. Trim trees and shrubs to prevent growth from encroaching on your home, and cut them back at least two feet to keep pests from getting too cozy or to eliminate any hazards to your children.   

You should also inspect the fence that surrounds your property, if you have one. Make sure there are no areas that need to be replaced or repaired. Strong fences are especially important if you live in a high traffic area or a neighborhood with a low walk score. In other words, if foot traffic is low because the area doesn’t have many shops within walking distance, then you are likely to experience more auto traffic. Then, a good fence is important for your kids’ and your home’s safety.   

Also, sometimes when we live with things, we don’t think of them in terms of posing dangers. Eliminate sources of standing water such as toys left in the yard or flipped open garbage bin lids, as they also provide opportunities for mosquitoes and other pests to thrive.    

Pool Safety  

Pools are an obvious source of potential danger. If you have a pool, the Red Cross recommends having your children take swimming lessons. It’s vital to keep ladders and steps secure to prevent children from falling into the water, and remove ladders when the pool is not in use. Install protective barriers and use a safety cover. Also keep the water clean and ensure the chemicals are at the right levels.   

Secure Equipment   

Outdoor equipment can be inviting to curious children. Ensure items such as grills, lawn care equipment and electrical appliances are secured properly. Pick up and properly stow sharp objects and tools. Also lock storage sheds, garages and barns, and install childproof locks on gates.    

Sun Exposure   

Just like adults, kids need some sunshine to help their bodies produce vitamin D. However, too much can damage your youngster’s skin. Raising Children explains it’s particularly important to keep toddlers and babies safe from damaging ultraviolet rays. Dress your child appropriately, using a hat to protect your child’s head from the sun’s rays. Infants do best in soft hats that allow babies to relax comfortably. Choose one with a chinstrap or tie, and if your little one objects, keep trying until she or he accepts it as part of the normal routine.    

Also, prolonged exposure to sunshine puts your child at risk for future cataracts. Sunglasses can help guard against damage to your child’s eyes; opt for close-fitting, wraparound glasses for the best protection.   

Riding Toys   

A big part of warm weather fun is getting on a tricycle, skateboard or bike. If your youngster has riding toys that come out as soon as temperatures rise, ensure the proper safety equipment is at hand. Some experts recommend helmets when riding on toys, but note helmets should be removed for playground or swing set play as they pose choking hazards.   

When using strollers, use the safety straps provided by the stroller manufacturer, and if your baby is too little to sit up on her own, steer clear of hauling her in wagons with low sides. If your kids are old enough for bicycling on streets, Healthline notes you should teach them the rules of the road, such as riding the same direction as traffic, obeying traffic signals, using hand signals, watching for other vehicles and not riding on sidewalks.   

Preparations Mean Safety   

Keeping your child safe is one of your first priorities. Warm months present special hazards, but with proper preparations you can prevent tragedy. Working parents often need support during the summer, like trading play dates with neighbors or having a teenager watch the kids while you work. It’s important that you share these tips with anyone who might be watching your child so that everyone involved provides your child with a safe environment through carefully thought-out precautions.   

If you’re looking for some summer reading options, check out Jack Jack the Cat. Whether Jack Jack is at home or exploring the jungle, he is sure to find himself in the middle of an adventure. Check our website for more information about Jack Jack and his weekly adventures for plenty of summertime fun. 

Situationship – Being In The Middle Ground When Dating

Do you feel you are neither in the friend zone or in the romantic one? Confused about what is happening in your relationship – or even if you are in one?  You are caught in the middle ground which is called situationship.

What are the signs of situationship?

 Lack of commitment 

It is being in a relationship without commitment. People go out together – even exclusively – and there does not seem to be a future.  Spontaneity is fun. Great to do things on the spur of the moment. It keeps life exciting, unless this is how it is always. These people usually do not make plans ahead of time. Cannot commit to a date next week.  When plans are made for a later time, they often bow out. The future is not mentioned. It is one thing to live in the moment, another to be stuck there., They use the word “sometime.”   “Would you like to go dancing/hiking (whatever) sometime?”  You answer with an enthusiastic “Yes” and nothing is planned.  The future is not discussed.

In regular dating relationships, there is forward movement. Although one person may go at a slower pace, the relationship still progresses. In situationship – it is on standstill.

Lack of commitment shows up in other areas.  It may seem like you both are getting closer: talking in depth about your pasts, career goals and so forth. When you start intimating more contact, they step backwards. It is a dance which they want to lead.  People in situationship do not want to be pinned down. They crave their freedom, yet still have someone they can call when feel like going out. It is a way to avoid closeness which can lead (in their minds) to dating drama.

Inconsistency

What is frustrating is the inconsistency – you may go out several times in one week, and nearly a month, goes by before the next date.  There is no agenda or routine schedule. There is little or no contact between dates. These individuals rarely initiate a text. They can be good at responding., which is easier than generating one. They may answer in minutes and later take days to respond.

You are doing most of the work in this relationship. Phone calls may only be when they have not heard from you in a while and are asking you out at the last minute.  Tone of texts can be flirty or almost rude. Hard to figure out where you stand in this relationship.

Incongruity between body language and words

In situationship where you are is undefined. The verbal may be incongruent with the non-verbal (actions).  Warm kisses on the lips, or even sex, do not go with their behaviour.  They do not go out regularly with you and are silent between dates.  They snuggle with you in booths, give plenty of hugs and kisses and throw in some complements.  This can be refereed to as crumbs. Enough to keep you interested, but not a main course.  They are treating you romantically while saying you are “Just Friends.”

It is confusing when their friends seem to think you are a couple or ask you how long the two of you have been dating.  Hard to answer when not really knowing if this is considered dating. Perhaps you like their friends and are part of the other’s inner circle.

What to do

Have a discussion of your needs and expectations. Express what you are feeling, “I’m into you – very attracted.”  Let them respond, pause as long as it takes to get an answer. In one case, the man’s reply was “I am not ready to take this further.” Yes, vague, but something. She is not sure if that means for this entire decade or for the next few months.  Communication is important in situationship.

When being told you are “just friends” for many months, consider dating again when an opportunity arises. This can help you become less fixated on the situationship which is going nowhere.

Questions to ask yourself

Are you getting anything out of it?

Are you better with or without them?

The answers help determine if you want to enjoy the relationship for what it is or if it is time to move on.  People’s self-worth can be negatively affected, particularly if they feel there is a flaw within themselves. People coming out of a toxic marriage may feel they are not worthy of anything more and accept what is happening. Be aware of your mental health, and if feeling depressed or anxious, think about making an exit. Keep  in mind, you are in a situationship because of the other person, not you. They are fearful, have a traumatic history, attachment disorder, or whatever it is.

One example where it does work out is this. A woman in a situationship with a musician, realized she enjoys going to his gigs and dancing. She has fun going out for pizza periodically in-between times.  She decided to stay with the man, but start dating again. She has had several dates so far, and life is fun and fulfilling for her.  There is no right or wrong answer, it is what ever is best for you.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Tips For Making A Long-Distance Dating Relationship Work

Long-distance dating relationships can be challenging. Easier to keep the passion high when you can call up your partner and say “Hey, come right over.”  Long-distance requires planning, not spontaneity.  Many people who have been through these types of relationships, say it was worth the separation. Being sure of each other’s commitment got them through this period.

Long-distance take extra effort to keep them alive. One person might be doing more in the reaching out and this can become frustrating. Logistics have to be factored in, who is travelling and who is not. It is one thing when in the same locale, to decide who pays. Quite another when getting together requires serious money.  An example is Harry, who moved and had a six-year long-distance relationship. He resented paying 100% of transportation costs for them both. No give and take financially. Eventually Harry thought about how in other areas of their relationship he was his doing most of the work. Although relationships are rarely 50-50, there has to be somewhat of a balance.

People in long-distance relationships mention how getting together in short bursts is more like being in Disneyland. Fantasy vs reality. It is like being on a holiday, doing fun activities. While this may be fine for some, others want a relationship on a deeper level.

People brought up that they missed or ignored red flags in a long-distance relationship. They concentrated on having fun instead. They dealt with the cracks when these could no longer be ignored.  A local relationship could have been patched up or ended sooner. Nip problems in the bud before they get huge. Your partner is not a mind reader, so bring them up.

The Pros

Distance allows commitment to be gradual. One is more conscious of it and makes a choice instead of falling into it. You decide to be a couple and less likely to take the other person for granted. When dating in town, one can fall into a pattern. On Friday night we do this, on Sunday we go out for brunch. When living in different locales, one is not in a predictable schedule or rut.

Being apart forces one to build a stable foundation. The relationship may be moving at a slower pace. One man said there are less triggers to get to him in his long-distance relationship as are in past local ones.  He also said that they met on different levels before initiating physical intimacy.  One was getting to know each other spiritually. They did not jump into bed right away, as what happens when dating locally. He feels they really got to know each other first before having sex.

Tips for making it work

Communication is imperative. Be conscious of word choice. Are they expressing your intention and exact emotion?  Easier to give a more ambiguous communication when not done in person. Emails and texting can seem blunt without vocal quality.

Be aware of your own emotions

Other emotions can come through subconsciously with communication such as hostility or resentment.  If you are angry, disappointed, then express them using “I” statements. “I feel hurt when you take several days to answer a text.”  Be direct and not sarcastic.

Keep in touch, even if a quick text “Thinking of you. Hope your day is great.”

If becoming serious, discuss where to live together. A US man with a girlfriend in Norway, advises finding neutral territory to settle. They are looking for a city which fits both of their needs. Others may want to move to a place where one of them lives, especially if that person has children. Some couples live in different loculations indefinitely and spend time blocks together. One couple does six weeks together and six weeks apart. This is working fine. Discuss if there is a time table for when living together. Or, if commuting is desirable for you both.

Flexibility is a plus in a long-distance relationship

Here is an example with a happy ending. Matthew and Elizabeth became a couple when they attended university. Matthew went on to law school and Elizabeth studied to be an ophthalmologist in different cities. She had internships in various places during the summer months when Matthew did not have law school. He stayed with her during that time for three years. Elizabeth managed to get one in Matthew’s hometown. They got together at other times during the year.  The long-distance part of their relationship for lasted three years. They are blissfully married with two children. When a couple is committed to make it work, it can.

 

Everything You Need to Know About Family Law in Chester County

Family law is a complex and ever-changing area of the law. If you are facing a family law issue, it is important to have an experienced attorney on your side. The attorneys at our firm have extensive experience handling all types of family law matters, including divorce, child custody, support, and more. We understand the unique challenges that come with these cases, and we are here to help you through every step of the process.

Whether you are just starting the divorce process or you have already been through a lot, we can help. We understand how difficult this time may be for you, and we will do everything we can to make it as smooth and stress-free as possible. We will work diligently on your behalf to protect your rights and achieve the best possible outcome in your case.

If you are dealing with child custody or support issues, we can help you navigate the complex legal system and ensure that your rights are protected. We understand how important these issues are to you and your family, and we will work hard to help you reach a resolution that is in the best interests of your children.

What is the Family Law in Chester County, PA?

The Family Law in Chester County, PA is the set of rules, guidelines, and court procedures that govern how cases involving families are handled in the county. This area of law includes divorce, child custody, alimony, and other related matters. Because family law can be complex and ever-changing, it is important to have an experienced attorney on your side if you are facing a family law issue.

What Does a Family Lawyer Do?

A family lawyer is an attorney who specializes in handling cases involving families. Family lawyers have extensive experience dealing with all types of family law matters, including divorce, child custody, support, and more. They understand the unique challenges that come with these cases and can help you navigate the legal system to reach a resolution that is in your best interests.

How do I file for Child custody modification in Chester County, Pennsylvania?

If you are seeking a modification to a child custody order in Chester County, Pennsylvania, you will need to file a petition with the court. The court will then set a hearing where both sides can present their arguments. After considering all of the evidence, the court will make a determination on whether or not to modify the child custody order.

What is an uncontested divorce in Chester County, Pennsylvania?

An uncontested divorce is one in which both parties agree on all terms of the divorce, including property division, child custody, and alimony. If you are able to reach an agreement with your spouse on these matters, you can file for an uncontested divorce. This type of divorce is typically faster and less expensive than a contested divorce.

No matter what type of family law issue you are facing, we are here to help. Contact our Chester County family law lawyers today to schedule a consultation with one of our experienced attorneys. We will review your case and help you determine the best course of action. Call us today to get started.

 

Your Guide to Moving and Starting a Business at the Same Time

Are you starting a new business and going through a divorce? If you need to move to a new home, follow the outline below to help you simplify your move and business startup.

Find Out How Much You Can Afford

One of the first steps you should take when starting a home-based business is figuring out how much you can afford to invest in the business. This will vary depending on your individual situation, but it is important to find out how much you can afford to invest before you start looking for potential investments.

Once you know how much money you can put toward your business, you will be able to look at larger investments such as buying a home and a business location.

Get Pre-Approved for a Loan

Getting pre-approved is the first step before getting approved for a loan. This is a normal part of the overall process and serves to let lenders know whether you’re a good fit for a loan.

You should make sure that your credit is in good standing and nothing is in collections. This will go a long way in getting your pre-approved and ultimately approved.

Find a Real Estate Agent

If you are purchasing your first home, it is important to find a real estate agent that specializes in helping first-time homebuyers.

Mashvisor points out that a real estate agent can help you find the perfect home for your budget. They may also be able to help you find local contractors and home improvement stores for your project ideas. If you’re considering saving money upfront by purchasing a home being sold “as is,” do so with an air of caution. If the property has major issues (e.g., problems with the foundation, HVAC, plumbing), it’s usually incumbent on you to pay for all the repairs, which can quickly add up. Again, a trusted real estate agent can help you navigate your options.

Search for a Home Online

Your local real estate agent can also help you find listings online. With the advent of online resources, finding a listing for a home is easier than ever before. While you can always visit your local real estate agent and ask them to help you find listings, an online resource makes this process even easier.

You can use a number of websites to find listings in your area. You can also search for listings based on your desired features, price range, and other preferences.

Market Your Company

Once you have settled in your new home, it is time to start thinking about a marketing plan. This is crucial as it will help you get your brand noticed by the rest of the world.

A catchy and appealing logo is one of the best ways you can make your company known to the public. Your logo is what makes you stand out among the rest. Although you may be tempted to hire a professional to design your logo, an online logo maker is a better option. This option is usually cheaper and more flexible than hiring a professional to create your brand logo. You can choose from many different logos online. You can also adjust every aspect of the logo, including colors and text, once you have found the logo you want.

Invest in Payroll Services

Payroll services can also help to ensure that your employees are paid accurately and on time. This can help to improve morale and reduce turnover, both of which can save your business money in the long run. You’ll get payroll services processed quickly, and many payroll service providers offer additional features such as direct deposit and tax filing assistance. As a result, choosing to outsource your payroll can offer a wide range of benefits for your business.

With the tips in mind, the daunting task of simultaneously moving to a new home after a divorce and launching your own business can be tackled successfully. This groundwork lays the foundation from which your venture will be up and running in no time!

Author of this article is Kristin Lewis  is a former advertising copywriter. She’s a loving mom to two boys: oldest is 10 and youngest is 7. She recently created parentingwithkris.com, where she puts her skills to work writing about the trials and tribulations of parenting.”

 

Celebrating Your Divorce Anniversary

Do you celebrate your divorce anniversary?  Is it a day you mourn or instead viewed as Independence Day? Easy to have mixed emotions.

We do hear about extravagant parties to small gatherings of friends marking the occasion when a divorce is finalized. Some hire limousines to whisk their group away to the pubs. No drunk drivers. There are paper plates, napkins and decorations to spice up the divorce party’s atmosphere. My friends took me out for lattes that first month after the divorce decree was issued.

What about the anniversaries? For the first few years my two sons gave me flowers and chocolate on that date. We went out for lattes or did something else special.

One January a few years post-divorce, my sons and I went to Disneyland. I was not thinking about my divorce. The woman at the check-in desk asked if we were celebrating any occasion. I told her “No.” When we got up to our room, my younger son asked why I had lied. “Lied?”

He explained, “Yes, you told that lady we weren’t celebrating anything. This is the week of your divorce anniversary!”  I said “Well, I’ll go back down and tell her.” My older son jumped up and accompanied me to the lobby.  I felt a bit strange informing that clerk about it. Her face froze. My son quickly intervened.  “We are so happy about this occasion so we are celebrating.” She laughed and was quite relieved. We were handed three large pins saying “I’m celebrating” written across them.

I cannot remember laughing so hard for two days straight. When strangers came up and asked what we were celebrating, we informed them. They laughed at the unexpected answer. The boys were giggly too. This was one of our best holidays.

My sons went to college and moved into their own places.  This past January, my younger son was at home. “Congratulations Mum” he said. It dawned on me it was my divorce anniversary. We collected his brother and went out for lattes.

Your divorce may have been tragic, especially if dumped for someone else. A day you do not want to be reminded of ever again. You have the right to ignore it. Or perhaps use it to reflect where you were and how far you have come. You moved forward.  You got past a traumatic event. Perhaps made some big changes in your life for the better.

You have the option of reframing it from an ending to becoming a new tradition. It can be your meet up with friends day each year. You plan fun activities and enjoy their camaraderie. I think about how less stressful my life is by not being in a toxic marriage.

A consideration is the children. They may feel torn between loyalties or are having a rough time with their parents not being together. A celebration would not be appropriate.  In my case, for years afterwards, the boys periodically asked “What took you so long to divorce?” They were flowers which bloomed post-divorce.

When this date is about to roll around, perhaps get out of town. Avoid old triggers which remind you of your relationship or its end.  Go on holiday abroad or explore new sights closer to home.  Do what feels right to you. Ignore it or celebrate. Your call.

A Woman’s Running Guide

So you want to start running? Congratulations! This can be a great way to improve your health and lose weight. Women can get a lot of health benefits once they make a habit of daily running. We know taking a start isn’t easy, but we’ll help all the women out there start their running routine through this article. But before you take a step, there are some things you need to know.

Get Yourself the Right Running Shoes

It’s important to choose suitable shoes if you’re going to start running. Make sure that you have the right type of shoe for your foot and running style. Here are some tips on how to choose the right running shoes for women:

  • If you’re a beginner, go for a lightweight, low-profile shoe that is flexible and has good shock absorption.
  • If you’re an experienced runner, consider getting a more supportive shoe that will help improve your mileage and speed.
  • Look for shoes with a heel cushion or stability ball at the heel to provide extra cushioning and support.

Decide Why You Want To Start Running

Running is a great way to get your heart rate up and burn calories. It can be a great way to improve your fitness level and feel better overall. However, if you’re not sure why you want to start running, here are some reasons to consider:

  • Running can help prevent or reduce the risk of diseases such as heart disease, stroke, diabetes, and some types of cancer.
  • Running can also improve your mood and mental well-being.
  • It’s a great way to connect with nature and get some exercise while doing so.

Find A Appropriate Time And Place To Start Running

All the women looking to start running should look for the appropriate time to start running. The best time and place to start may vary depending on your current fitness level. Beginners should try starting out by running short distances (around a block or two) outside during daylight hours. As you become more comfortable, you can gradually increase your distance and run in different locations, including at parks or other open spaces.

Make A Plan For Yourself

Its really easy to think about running, but it can be hard to get started. However, with a proper plan, you can get started easily. Make a plan for yourself and follow it as closely as possible to ensure you achieve the best results. Start slowly and gradually increase your distance over time, gradually building up your endurance. Find a running group or join an online community to support and motivate you along the way.

Get Started

Once you make up a plan, start implementing it at your earliest. Don’t wait for tomorrow; start the routine from the current day. There is a philosophical proverb “that it will never be tomorrow because when tomorrow arrives, it becomes today.” If you are new to running, it can be helpful to start with a beginner’s routine. There are many different running routes and distances to choose from, so find one that is challenging but manageable for you. Once you have started running, keep a diary of your progress so that you can track your performance and progress to see how much you have improved.

Benefits of running for women

Running is a great exercise for women of all ages and fitness levels. It has many benefits, including decreasing stress and improving mood, heart health, joint health, and weight management. In addition to these general benefits, running can also help improve your overall fitness level and help you lose weight.

How does running improve mood?

It has been seen that running help improve mood and mental well-being in both men and women. In fact, research suggests that running may be one of the most beneficial exercises for overall mental health. One study found that people who ran had lower levels of stress hormones in their bloodstream than those who did not run. Another study found that people who ran tended to have better mental health than those who did not run at all. This is likely because running releases endorphins, which are chemicals that reduce pain and increase feelings of pleasure.

How does running improve heart rate?

Running has long been known to be a finest way to improve heart rate. In fact, running at a moderate intensity can help increase your heart rate by up to 50%. This is because running increases your metabolic rate, which in turn helps burn more calories.

How does running reduce stress?

Running is a proven way to reduce stress levels. In one study, runners who completed a moderate-intensity run reported feeling less stressed than those who didn’t run at all. Researchers believe that this is because running releases endorphins, which are hormones that can decrease pain and inflammation. Additionally, running has a positive impact on mental health by helping people to de-stress and connect with their surroundings.

How does running help in weight management?

Running can help burn a lot of calories and help in weight management. The average person burns 80-140 calories per mile, depending on your speed and weight, so running can help you lose weight.

Conclusion

Now you must have a clear idea of what to do, so get out there and run!

Running is one of the simplest and most effective exercises you can do for your health. It’s low-impact, calorie-burning, and can be done anywhere. Plus, it’s a great way to connect with nature. Ensure your running shoes are comfortable enough and fit perfectly. Running in uncomfortable shoes can lead to injury.

All the women out there thinking about running should start the routine from today. Start slowly and gradually increase your running time as you become more comfortable and confident in your ability to run long distances. Find a safe place to run that is also convenient for you – whether that’s at a park or other open spaces.

Continuing Self-Care Trends in the New Normal

Signs of the new normal are emerging as newly-vaccinated Americans venture out of their homes, and it’s not the raucous “Roaring 20s” everyone predicted. Rather than racing to return to normal, Time magazine notes that people are holding onto the habits and routines they built during 2020-21. That’s not to say we aren’t eager to see old friends and hug relatives. However, people are rethinking what it means to look and feel their best in a post-pandemic world. Wendi’s Tips shares four trends shaping the way we present ourselves. 

Comfort Over Fashion 

Staying home more in the past meant the privilege of working in pajamas and slippers. Now, people are questioning why “real clothes” have to be so uncomfortable and redefining the meaning of professional attire. 

 For fashion, that means more athleisure and dressed-up loungewear. Think joggers in trendy prints and durable leggings that are just at home in the grocery store as they are in the gym. Office dress codes are relaxing, too, with workers opting for pared-down professional wardrobes composed of comfortable basics. If you’re dreading the day you have to give up your “work sweatpants,” tap into comfort-first workwear trends like loose-fitting trousers and slacks for your return to the office. 

Back-to-Basics Skincare 

Women are abandoning heavy makeup as they shift beauty spending to skincare. If you’re one of the many people affected by maskne, you’ve probably started paying more attention to skincare during the pandemic yourself. 

 There’s a dizzying array of skincare products out there. Where do you start if all you’ve ever used is moisturizer and SPF? There’s no one-size-fits-all answer to skincare because everyone’s skin is different. However, if you’re new to skincare regimens, Elle magazine lists a few kits designed for your skin type, which is a great place to start. When you want to take your look up a notch, opt for a tinted moisturizer or a glow kit instead of foundation. These lightweight alternatives are less likely to clog pores. This is also the perfect time to experiment with fun eye makeup looks. 

Returning to Our Roots 

Many people looked forward to their first salon haircut during the new normal. But while some people are going bold with their new look, others are embracing their roots by growing out their hair, keeping their grays, and letting their natural curls shine. In fact, L’OFFICIEL notes that the past year has seen a surge in products designed to enhance hair health. This includes shampoos and conditioners designed for your hair type, whether you want to clarify, hydrate, repair, thicken, define, or grow. 

 If you do go for a dramatic new look, donate your tresses to a good cause. Locks of Love, Children with Hair Loss, and Wigs for Kids are among the leading organizations that accept hair donations. 

Embracing New Ventures 

Feeling your best in 2022 isn’t just about the way you look. The toll that the pandemic took on so many lives seems to have intensified interest in not just self-care but nursing itself. Improving oneself may include career goals, particularly going back to school to get a degree in business. Whether it’s taking courses online or in person, many programs are set to maximize convenience and thoroughness, and some are extremely timely. Going this route provides you with the latest information and technology, preparing you to advance your career or take it another direction. 

 You may also be looking at changing jobs or starting a new business. If it’s the latter, be sure to check off a few essential boxes right away. This includes getting a business plan together, creating a home office if you plan to work from home, and lining up all the legal requirements. It’s important to determine what type of business you plan to operate by choosing which type to form as, whether it’s a self-proprietorship, a partnership, or an LLC. Fortunately, you can outsource the process with the help of an online formation service, which is quick and affordable.  

 People are also asking how they can maintain healthy habits now that responsibilities have returned to normal. Many of us have spent more time working on ourselves, getting active, appreciating nature, and utilizing naturopathic medicine and massage therapies during the pandemic, and we may be reluctant to relinquish that self-care time. 

 For the most part, schedules have shifted to what they used to be, but it’s still possible to make time for wellness. The key is scheduling it. Build self-care, fitness, and other healthy routines into your schedule the same way you would a business meeting to ensure wellness is given the priority it deserves. A huge part of this is embracing relationship changes as well, so identify the toxic people or situations in your life and call on dating coach Wendi Schuller to help you navigate your options. 

 Life looks much different now after the pandemic — and that’s not necessarily a bad thing. The past couple of years led us to rethink priorities, from how we spend time to how we present ourselves to the world. As we step out in 2022, it might not be back to the old normal. However, the new normal we’re building takes a more holistic view of what it means to be well. 

 Author is Chelsea Lamb  clamb@businesspop.net      She has spent the last eight years honing her tech skills and is the resident tech specialist and co-founder of BusinessPop.net. Her goal is to demystify some of the technical aspects of business ownership and entrepreneurship

Dating coach Wendi Schuller of Wendi’s Tips draws upon her knowledge as a nurse, neuro-linguistic programmer (NLP), and hypnotherapist to provide a blueprint to guide people through divorce and beyond. Contact Wendi today to schedule your coaching session, or to find out more! wendischuller@hotmail.com 

Relationship PTSD (Post Traumatic Stress Disorder)

Portrait Of Young Shy Couple Sitting On Sofa At Home

Trauma from past relationships affects a current one.  The person may do the hot/cold dance – wanting to get closer, yet afraid of being burned again. Not only is relationship PTSD traumatic for the individual, but also to the other in the relationship. The person with PTSD can be afraid to acknowledge even to themselves, deep feelings – as this has led to heartbreak previously.

UK ‘s National Health Service (NHS) defines PTSD as an “anxiety disorder caused by very stressful or distressing events.” People with PTSD have high levels of stress hormones. When danger is perceived, the body produces adrenaline to trigger the fight or flight reaction. “People with PTSD have been found to continue to produce high amounts of fight or flight hormones even when there is no danger.”

 

How PTSD Manifests

 

In relationships, the person may bolt when things are getting serious. They are okay at the beginning – the Getting To Know You stage. When simple requests/demands are voiced by their dating partner, it can be overwhelming. “Do I stay and face a risk of rejection (whatever the trigger is)?”  This person dances into a relationship, then dances right out again.  Or keeps the partner at an arm’s length.  You might be kept in the friend zone or friends with benefits one without a commitment.

The individual with relationship PTSD can be self-medicating with either drugs, alcohol, cigarettes or all three. This is to numb themselves and tamp down emotions. It feels more comfortable to put up an emotional blockade around themselves. If they are like a zombie, then there is no opening for trauma to sneak in. This is a faulty protection mechanism which is harmful to relationships.  Insomnia is another problem for those with this PTSD. Some get flashbacks whether or not in a new relationship.

A person with dating PTSD is trying to avoid being hurt again. Also tries to avoid repeating patterns which led to the trauma -being left behind and heartbreak. The Lehigh Center for Clinical Research in Allentown, PA, USA states “Avoidance is a common symptom of PTSD. If you avoid communicating with your partner about important matters such as your feelings, because building a wall to protect yourself is easier, then you may be suffering from PTSD from your last toxic relationship.”

One man, Peter, had three traumatic dating relationships in a row and developed PTSD, complete with flashbacks. He opted not to date for 10 years.  He became an alcoholic trying to deal with this trauma. Attending AA meetings gave him support dealing with his life.  Now he is living with a fabulous woman.

 

What to do when dating a survivor of PTSD

  • Go Slowly.
  • Be Patient
  • Learn when to pull back. They may crawl into their cave when the relationship is getting too intense.
  • Give them space.  They not initiate contact for a few weeks.
  • Allow time to build a firm foundation. Then they can begin to trust you bit by bit.

It is a delicate balancing act

Pushing to get closer scares them away. Too little leaves them guessing if you are about to do a runner, which may have led to PTSD from previous relationship. Consider sending a short, to the point text “How is your day going?” or when something notable occurs. “I didn’t get the job” or “My short story won a prize.”  Responding is easier than generating a text.

 

Have a full life

When you are busy, your mind is focused on these activities and less likely to be dwelling on the frustration of this dating relationship. You are more interesting and enticing when you do get together.  They can laugh and wonder what antics/classes/events you are up to next. Your full life gives fuel for conversations.  Taking improv acting classes, having fun at karaoke an d so forth, helps you seem different from previous dating partners where trauma occurred,

You may have to accept their pattern of being there and then backing away. No one can change another person. One can express needs with “I” statements. “I need you to text or call at least once a week.” “I want to get together at least every other week.”

 

Questions to ask yourself

  • Are you getting frustrated with the dance backwards and forwards?
  • Are you getting something out of the relationship?
  • Are the good times outweighing the disappearing act?
  • Are you feeling secure in the relationship?
  • Are you both able to discuss personal history, problems, worries, etc?
  • Are they focused on you when you are speaking?
  • How strongly do you feel about them? In love? Or is it lust or merely a fascination?

Your dating partner is operating from fear. Fear is their reality. They are looking for indications that they may be mistreated again.  You may be able to slowly build trust and have a successful relationship. Communication is imperative.  Give it your all, and then if you need to bail, you know you did everything that you could. There is hope that after a bumpy start, your relationship can be successful.

 

 

 

Fear Is A Stumbling Block In Divorce

Fear can be paralysing. In divorce. One can be hesitant to take a step in any direction. Afraid whatever move made will be wrong.  One is stuck in status quo and wants to stay in the same place. Movement is perceived as leaving the safety zone. Staying rooted in one spot only delays the inevitable, the divorce will be finalised at some point.  Not wanting to think about divorce during this process does not stop it. It makes it worse by dragging it out longer.

Hanging on to something out of fear, backfires

I hung on to the marital house during divorce. It prolonged the proceedings. It delayed the sale, since it needed some refurbishing before going on the market. We signed the divorce papers before the house sold. Our assets could not be split until the sale since the final number could not be determined at that point. Fear of not being able to get a loan for another one kept me clinging to the marital home.  The issue does not go away by ignoring or refusing to face it. Instead, it gets worse like cancer would if not delt with at the onset.

Knowledge is the antidote to fear

Perhaps it is fear of the unknown – the outcome of your divorce – which is keeping you rooted in one spot. Not knowing what lies ahead.  Ask your lawyer what is realistic.  Many have imagined a worst-case scenario which had no connection to what could really happen.   You may be pleasantly surprised what is a realistic expectation for dividing assets.

If scared about what financial future will be post-divorce, consider paying for a consultation with a financial advisor. Things most likely will not be as bleak as they seem.  They will get an idea of your situation and can reassure that you will not be destitute. This is what helped me to relax during my divorce. Also, this person can make helpful suggestions how to invest and make a budget.

Fear can keep you clinging to people who drain you

Better to be alone than being in the company of these energy vampires who suck the life right out of you. I dropped a few doom and gloom acquaintances who tried to predict a catastrophe during proceedings. Instead of being around those who escalate your fears, choose spending time with optimistic individuals who encourage you to see the positives.  This is the time to strengthen other relationships and make new friends who are supportive.

Dealing with Fear

Make a list of the top fears you are facing in divorce in one column. Next to them, write what can be taken to deal with them.  For example, for finances one could get a job or increase hours of a current one. One divorcing friend asked to clean our houses for a little extra cash.  Sell personal property. I sold presents from my mother, who put in writing that these had been mine alone. This included Waterford light fixtures. (Be careful not to sell joint property during proceedings).

Writing fears down is a way to overcome them. Get them from swirling around in your brain to being out in the open. A parent shines a light in the darkness when a child fears a monster is hiding under the bed. They see nothing is there. Or perhaps it is something that can easily be dealt with like a kitten playing with a toy under the bed.

Express fears to friends

Brainstorm together. Friends will give opinions how to get past your stumbling block, the fear holding you back. They may have faced it too in their divorce and have practical advice. Support is crucial in this turbulent time. Talking out your concerns and fear shares the load. You have a team on your side who will cheer you on.  After my friends had a good laugh over my financial fear, they quickly let me know it was out of line with reality.  I was relieved.

Whatever your fear is, talking to a knowledgeable expert in that field will give you accurate facts. You will be in control, instead of the fear controlling you.

Author Wendi Schuller has travelled to around seventy countries. She is a moving on coach who especially helps people getting back into dating after a break up or divorce globalguidetodivorce.com/shop/    globalguidetodivorce.com/coaching/

This was originally published in The Divorce Magazine  www.thedivorcemagazine.co.uk/

How Single Parents Can Better Manage Stress

Life can be stressful for single parents and their kids. For parents, there is financial stress, job stress, interpersonal stress, and the overarching stress of having to raise the kids alone. For kids, there is a completely different type of stress – fear of the unknown and feeling self-conscious about coming of age without their mother or father in the picture. As a single parent, it’s hard to manage it all.

Here are some tips to help give you some ideas on how to minimize stress.

 

Cut Yourself Some Slack

The first tip is likely the hardest, but it’s something you must strive toward. Single parents often set high expectations for themselves – often too high. However hard it may be, try to cut yourself some slack. Despite any shortcomings, you’re doing the best you can.

 

Practice Relaxation Techniques

The seemingly obvious way to reduce stress is to remove the stressor from your life. Unfortunately, when it comes to managing a single-parent household, this isn’t always an option. So take steps to alleviate the effects of that stress instead. This is where relaxation techniques come into play.

Meditation can be very effective. Listen to guided meditations or try to focus on whatever brings you inner peace. Simply put, meditation is being mindful in the moment.

You can repeat a mantra, or you can just be in the moment consumed by your present surroundings. If your kids are old enough, you can even get them in on the practice. As Psychology Today points out, meditation is scientifically proven to boost all the best parts of life while removing negativity.

When you’re meditating, make sure you’re in a quiet space in your home to promote relaxation. Wearing comfortable clothes like leggings and a roomy T-shirt can also help you focus.

 

Get Your Kids Involved  

You’re not being a bad parent if you want some free time. You need it if you want to keep your sanity. One way to increase your alone time is to get your kids involved in activities. After-school clubs, sports, community arts groups — you can find an organization that specializes in facilitating the exploration of their interests.

Cultivate their love for community service and volunteering by registering for animal welfare or environmental organizations. If your child is athletic, team sports are a great way for them to meet new people and encounter new role models. Talk to your kids about their interests, and there will surely be something they’d love to get involved in.

 

Foster a Stress-Free Home Environment

You spend most of your time at home, so it’s naturally going to have a lot of impact on your stress level. A messy, disorganized home is a stressful home. Even if you aren’t a super tidy person, excess clutter can be a problem. This is especially true for a family run by a single parent who is already busy. Take some time to fully declutter your home from top to bottom so it’s more manageable. You can also use some sensory tips and tricks to reduce stress. Plants, essential oils, aromatherapy candles, and natural light can help people feel relaxed. Open those curtains and let the sun shine in.

As a single parent, you are managing a family alone. There’s no way around that. There will be a lot of stress to deal with — both your own and that of your kids. Try to combat this stress by getting your kids involved in engaging activities, making sure you have a clean, organized, calming home environment, and setting some time aside to practice relaxation exercises.

Author Janice Russell  believes the only way to survive parenthood is to find the humor in it. She created Parenting Disasters so that parents would have a go-to resource whenever they needed a laugh, but also to show parents they aren’t alone. She wants every frazzled parent out there to remember that for every kid stuck in a toilet, there’s another one out there somewhere who’s just graced their parents’ walls with some Sharpie artwork!

 

 

You 2.0: How to Regains Confidence After a Divorce

None of us get married planning to be single again. But, whether it be for incompatibility, infidelity, or money issues, divorce happens in about 50% of all first marriages, and the rates are even higher for subsequent nuptials. No matter how many people you know that have gotten divorced, it is still a personal challenge that can have a serious impact on your finances, emotions, and health.

Here are some tips on how to take back your life.

Wait to date.

While there is no magic formula that can tell you when the time is right to date, most experts – and divorcees – agree that it’s best to wait until you know it’s truly over so that you can really focus on yourself. While it’s perfectly normal to get lonely, you must learn how to be comfortable in your own presence so that you can truly figure out what you want. Although dating apps might provide you with some form of affirmation, you’re not going to find happiness in the praise of others, but in the love of yourself.

Check your finances.

Money is a significant issue, especially for the economically disadvantaged spouse. But, money is not everything, and what you lose in financial support, you may gain in freedom, independence, and happiness. If you’re concerned about your finances, Global Guide To Divorce suggests examining your credit, making a budget, and giving yourself an emergency fund.

Consider making another major change.

A divorce changes your life significantly, but many aspects may still stay the same, especially if you remain living in your marital home. If you want to truly break free from the memory of your marriage, you might want to make other life changes, such as going back to school to earn your master’s degree. Even if you have kids and a full-time job, getting a degree in a field that you’ve always been interested in (perhaps education or business) will give you the credentials and skills you need to break out of your comfort zone and into a new life. Similarly, you might even go back to school to learn skills, such as accounting or business, so that you can become an entrepreneur, which Biz Journals acknowledges gives you a chance to build a future for yourself.

Improve your self-image.

If you have put on a few pounds after divorce, you’re not alone. Men’s Divorce explains that marital transition changes a person’s eating habits. This can lead to weight gain or weight loss, either of which can have a negative impact on your self-image. If this is the case, you can start working on your weight by exercising and eating well. That takes time, so, in the interim, focus on buying clothing and accessories that make you feel attractive right now. For women, a pair of butt-lifting leggings or a cozy sweater will go a long way. Jewelry, such as a Tiger’s eye necklace – Tiger’s eye shows with alternating colors, depending on the light source, making it a versatile piece – can also go a long way toward improving how you feel about your appearance. For men, a new pair of jeans or a nice suit will enhance a lackluster wardrobe.

Change your habits.

Habits are hard to break, especially for those of us who were in long marriages and are now divorced. But, you have to give yourself permission to live your life on your terms. Don’t be shy about breaking habits, such as having tacos every Monday or visiting a specific city on vacation. You now have a precious opportunity to build your world the way that you want it, you don’t have to let relics from the past define what you do in the present.

Divorce is not easy for anyone. It’s difficult to find your sense of self and to be confident enough to live your life on your terms. But, trust that with a few habit changes and a positive mindset, you will get over the greatest challenges. Good luck in your new single life, may it be better than you could have imagined.

Visit Global Guide To Divorce often for more tips from experience dating coach Wendi Schuller.

 Author Rhonda Underhill is a classic example of a health scare leading to a complete lifestyle change. She hopes her site, Getwellderly.com, can encourage adults approaching their golden years to get serious about their physical health now rather than later.