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How to support your children though a divorce

The year 2020 has been a pretty brutal one for most people. Some people have been able to find some comfort in the bonds of family and friendship. For others, however, those bonds have been stretched to breaking point. If you’re in the latter group, here is some advice on how to support your children through a divorce.

Have a basic plan in place before you break the news

For a child, there are no positives to a divorce. This means that you need to focus on minimizing negatives. Ideally, you want to be able to show your child that, effectively, nothing is going to change for them. If that is not possible, then explain how you’ll minimize the negative impact of any changes.

It’s best if you and your partner have a complete plan ready before you break the news to your child. At the same time, however, you want to make sure that they hear the news from you, not social media. For practical purposes, therefore, it may be best just to outline your plan and then tell your child. Commit to keeping them in the loop as your plans develop.

Involve your child in discussions/mediation

Wrapping up a marriage almost always involves lengthy discussions, especially where children are involved. For many couples, mediation sessions are a practical and affordable way of keeping these discussions civil and productive. These are probably going to be where you and your partner iron out the practicalities of your split.

Some of those practicalities will have a massive impact on your child. This means that, whenever possible, they should have age-appropriate input into the discussions. They don’t have to know everything. In fact, it’s often better that they don’t. They certainly shouldn’t see their parents openly arguing. They do, however, need a reasonable degree of information and involvement.  

Try to maintain a consistent routine

Right now, COVID19 is probably causing more than enough disruption to their lives, especially when it comes to co-parenting through a pandemic. This means that it’s more important than ever to maintain stability as much as you can.

As a minimum, stick to regular mealtimes and nap/bedtimes. Resist any temptation to try to soften the blow by excess use of treats such as sweets and late nights.

If COVID19 means that you and your partner are stuck with each other’s company for longer than you’d like, keep it civil. You’re probably going to have disagreements. Recognize this in advance, own the fact and agree on a process for dealing with them privately. If you’re able to move out physically, have a plan in place to maintain contact, even if it’s only virtually.

Stay consistent with discipline

This is really a sub-point of keeping to a consistent routine. It is, however, important enough to deserve a mention on its own. Children handle divorce differently. In fact, the same child can handle divorce differently on different days. This is particularly true if they’re going through a lot of hormonal changes.

Recognize the difference between understanding their feelings and handing them control. Maintaining consistent rules and boundaries may be challenging in the short term. It will, however, help your child’s long-term recovery and personal growth.

Author Bio

K J Smith Solicitors are specialists in family law, experienced in all matters relating to divorce, civil partnerships, cohabitation disputes and collaborative law.

 

13 Reasons Why You’re Single And What To Do About It

When you are successful in your professional life because you’ve worked hard at it, it stands to reason that working hard at your love life in the same way will lead to the same result, right? So why aren’t your efforts yielding the desired outcomes? Why are you still single?

The following checklist will help you uncover 13 possible reasons and what to do about it. However, don’t let this list be a source of despair, because there is a solution!

  1. You don’t really believe there are great single men out there. Perhaps you think all men are just after 1 thing… Limiting belief systems are like sets of tinted glasses through which you view an altered reality, selectively seeking out and focusing on what you deem to be true to support your idea of reality.

  2. You are following the same destructive pattern by dating the same guy with a different face over and over again. We all know what the definition of insanity is, right? You need to start doing things differently if you want a different result.

  3. You are holding on to your past: The secret to closing the door on your past is letting go with love and forgiveness. If you don’t let go of your past it will destroy your future. But it’s not so easy, is it? (See point 1…)

  4. You are scared. You may have a fear of dating, of falling in love, being emotionally attached, trusting someone, losing someone close to you. You are not alone! Pretty much everyone seems to be affected by some degree of fear of social rejection, and this fear can be debilitating. It keeps you from taking action and tricks you into believing that you are better off staying in your comfort zone and striving to be happy there and not facing the fact that you are indeed miserable.

  5. You have Expectations! Oh NO! You have this perfect image of who you want to date and be in a relationship with and, try as you might not to, you expect your date to fit a certain type of pre-defined criteria. 100% chance of things going wrong – and you know it, but you still….

  6. Self-esteem issues anyone? If you are looking to enter into a healthy relationship it is best to start developing a healthy relationship with yourself first and foremost. ‘Like’ attracts ‘like’. We think we can hide low self-esteem but it shows up in so many unattractive ways. If you don’t think you’re worthy, how can someone else think so?

  7. Confidence. Closely related to the above, but worthy of its own point. Confidence is the key to dating success. If you aren’t confident about your worth, why would you expect someone else should take time out of their busy schedule to get to know you better?

  8. Boundaries! Boundaries are sexy and they tell men that you are valuable. Boundaries are evidence of high standards and values, indicate healthy self-esteem, and attract people who recognise what you live by and expect those close to you to live by. Even the most confident and successful career-woman can be tempted to loosen those boundaries to ‘keep a man’. If you are one of those, then you will always be someone else’s doormat.

  9. You don’t think you can be truly fulfilled without a partner, and it shows. There’s nothing attractive about that at best, and at worst it reeks of desperation. You should be living a full social life doing things you love doing with the friends and family you adore. Relationships flourish in the right social environment.

  10. You underappreciate the allure of your feminine energy. Many of us are out of touch with our dominant feminine energy and therefore lead unbalanced lives. Men are attracted to femininity and don’t respond well to masculine women in a romantic environment.

  11. You lack commitment in the area of love and relationships. You can still be living a full life, enjoy a successful career and be committed to finding a relationship. Yes you can indeed have it all! It shouldn’t drop off your ‘to do’ list in favour of chance. Where your energy goes, that’s where you go…or stay.

  12. You are dating from a mind-set of scarcity. You can’t imagine finding anyone, let alone opening your eyes to the abundance of choice that will become available to you when you turn that mind-set inside out and go forward with an ‘abundance mind-set’. I know it’s easier to sit back and wait for destiny to come knocking, but sorry, that’s not how it works. You therefore need to get out there and start creating choice in your love life.

  13. Singles are finding dating tough and telling each other just how tough it is. Well it’s tough because we are losing our social competence, especially when it comes to dating and relationships. Work on your interpersonal and face-to-face communication and conversation skills, work at being approachable – and you will be.

Perhaps you need some help?

The fact is that when it comes to your love life, the ‘work hard’ approach is clearly not enough, and if you don’t address the above, it often only leads to disappointment and frustration.

You need to stop and think about doing things differently! You know you need a new approach – and you need it now, because your intimate love relationship will affect pretty much every other area of your life. It will determine your happiness, fulfillment and overall quality of life more than any of your career success or achievements ever will.

So what are you to do if you are serious about having a loving and lasting relationship with someone amazing? Find yourself a reputable Love Coach to support and love you every step of the way. To your success in love!

Author of article is Bonita Grobbelaar. Biography:  Relationships and the way we embark on them have changed, and Bonita Grobbelaar believes in helping her clients to do the work from the inside out. Women who have succeeded in all areas of their life but love, have benefited from consulting with Bonita. She puts her clients back in the drivers’ seat of their lives, and helps them to map out a journey to their intended destination in love.

A believer that all women not only deserve, but are fundamentally entitled to a life they love, in the company of a solid partner through the good and the bad, Bonita specialises in guiding and supporting successful women around the globe towards healthy, lasting relationships.

Her industry experience spans over a decade, and during this time, Bonita has helped thousands of women to find and keep love.  Her own experiences saw Bonita living through ten years of negative dating and a failed marriage. Questioning the reasons for this led her to a journey of great self-discovery, where probing and testing brought her to the revelation of why all areas of her life, except love, were successful.

Today, Bonita is happily married and has two daughters. She experiences deep gratitude for a life she loves daily, and teaches her clients how to apply what she has learned, to help them find balance and relationship success in their own lives.    www.lovecoachbonita.com  

Join my NEXT FREE workshop: Unlock Lasting Love, Without Relying On Online Dating: bit.ly/UnlockLastingLove   Find time in my calendar that suits you best and let’s figure out what’s stopping you from finding the love you want and how to change that: lovecoachbonita.com/apply/

How Divorce Impacts Your Estate Planning

A separation does not really mess with your current life. It even influences your plans, especially your estate plan, for the upcoming future.

Divorce is the legal termination of an engagement. It is more permanent than division which requires a judicial procedure. When you have a separation, it indicates that the relationship is finally over. 

Divorce determines more than just the state of your marriage. It’s a life long civil proceeding that affects wills, trusts, and other resources for land planning.

After any major life event, such as marriage, pregnancy, and separation or divorce, it is important to revisit your will and estate plans. We’ll look directly at how separation influences estate planning in this report.

Here  Doane & Doane are providing a few relevant papers that will have to be revised in the framework of your divorce.

  1. Testament and Last Will

A property arrangement typically contains a last will and testament, generally referred to as a will, which specifies the expectations for the properties you own before you die. It helps you to name the individuals to whom you would like to leave something after your death.

Your wealth undergoes a procedure called probate in most jurisdictions, without a will, in which the court decides how the assets are allocated based on the law. A would allow your assets and family to bypass the process of probate and be spread however you choose.

Consider reviewing your arrangements with a couple of your nearest and most reliable heirs while you build your plans to leave your possessions to family and friends to mitigate any disputes or conflicts that will occur after you die.

It is better to put up a will when you have major life shifts, such as being married or divorced; when you have a child, it is important to build a will to set up a string of legal guardianship over your child if anything is to happen.

  1. Children’s share

When considering the effects of divorce on the property system, children should not be ignored. In addition to the custody issue, divorce will have an effect on what children receive from divided assets, the length of the transition of assets, and who will execute the trust

Ultimately, it is the children who are most affected by divorce litigation, and all parents will do everything possible to guarantee that they are covering their children well and take care of them.

  1. Trusts and beliefs

A trust is a legal body that may own your properties and be managed on the basis of your wishes as specified in the legal contract that established the entity.

For example, a trust will allow you to decide how you wished your child to profit from your assets during their lives.

You may want to make provision that funds are used in a certain manner or obtained at a certain time. Trust is a way of protecting resources from being used in a way that you wouldn’t see fit if you were in the influence of them.

There are many benefits of having a trust, but it is not crucial because you are concerned with the supervision or treatment of your properties until you die. At the end of the day, you trust your heirs to handle and use your resources responsibly should you grow old.

If you have a large insurance policy or property and/or children, confidence is worth talking to a lawyer to select the proper variables and language for your scenario.

  1. Control of Attorneys

While the Will is revoked by divorce, it does not change the lasting power of the counsel. Though its EPA needs the chosen counsel to make an investment settlement for you, it is crucial that you still withdraw from the deal if you no longer want your spouse or partner to make those choices for you.

 

  1. Carry Out Your Estate Strategy

It is incredibly essential to ensure that the estate arrangements are updated continuously. That requires checking them at least once per year, with input from the solicitor, but it also implies undertaking a review following every life-changing event — and divorce is likely to count. There is an important need to restore faith and separation.

Whenever you want to build a new will, trust, or attorney’s powers, estate planning services west palm beach will support. Getting ready for your land planning documents with Doane & Doane is quick and inexpensive. Begin by conducting some research.

Divorce Statistics to Be Aware of in 2020

Being in a relationship is a beautiful thing, and it’s even better if you end up getting married to your soul mate. Signing the papers takes your relationship to a new level. Wearing a wedding ring binds you forever, and saying the vows signifies that your love will last for good. You can plan a life with your significant other, have a wonderful family, and grow old together.

Unfortunately, that’s not always the case. Divorces have always been a hard thing to talk about, and even harder to go through. Even though you may not think about getting divorced from the love of your life, sometimes that’s the only sensible thing to do. Divorce statistics state that almost 45% of first marriages in the US end in divorce.

The most common reasons for getting a divorce are infidelity, conflict, and lack of commitment. Other reasons include high expectations, lack of equality, and domestic violence. More than half of divorced people blame their partners for a divorce. When it comes to the price of divorce in the US, it costs about $15,000 per person. 

As if the price isn’t enough, you’ll also have to deal with the emotional trauma of divorce. Just like the marriage itself was exciting and made you happy, divorce could be stressful and turn your world upside down. You need to realize that these emotions are normal and that you should cut yourself some slack. After the divorce, you’ll probably feel like you’ve lost hopes and dreams for the future together with your partner. But you shouldn’t feel that way. 

If, by any chance, you have kids, keep in mind that they too feel confused, angry, and lost. Be honest with them, discuss what’s going to happen, and encourage them to talk about how they feel. Keep the daily routine as it was, but still do your best to include both of you in their lives. Read more about the divorce statistics and facts to familiarize yourself with the reasons why you or someone you know might want to end their marriage.

Infographic URL: 2date4love.com/divorce-statistics/

 

Six Things You Should Never Do During Divorce

Divorce is the most challenging phase of a person’s life and on top of that one mistake may turn the events against you. Anyone would not want to deal with this kind of scenario. If you are going through a divorce then some of the mistakes that are really common will be avoided after reading below.

1 I need to leave the place

The first and foremost mistake any person can make is leaving the house. It may come up as the first thing on your mind and even you may have done it a number of times previously. But this time it is not the same, you are getting a divorce and that is what it makes different. You need to think about it this way.

When you leave and live separately your house goes into the hands of your spouse. Then he/she uses the one to spend the money on the house. If you even ask for the share in the house then a list of expenses will be presented in the court by your ex. And you may not be able to deal with it.

If the house is on rent or not yours then this mistake can be ruled out easily.

2 Admitting your mistakes

Yes, you are in a hurry to get the divorce but that does not mean that you have to admit things just to separate faster although it may even worsen the divorce case. Most of the time it is seen that spouses are admitting to cheating either out of anger or due to other reasons. If you did this then you have given a chance to your spouse to make the divorce stressful for you.

Now if you have already made this mistake then consult an attorney as infidelity is a big issue during the case. Find out the best divorce attorney in Greenville and reach near solutions. You should not worry if you have not made this mistake but be careful during the further process.

3 Threatening

It happens to all of us, we are bound to have conflicts, and resulting in a threat is given in extreme cases. These threats at normal times are mere words for a person but when divorce comes into the scene then threats play an important role in the divorce case.

One threat by you can result in another legal trouble if identified by your spouse. You must understand that threats are not a solution for any problem and in any situation, threats are not considered healthy by the court. If you have given threats multiple times then speak to a divorce lawyer and share each detail.

4 My spouse handle finances

On an ordinary day, you decide to have a divorce and you get to know that all your money is spent. You never knew where the money was going as you always gave the money to your spouse. Even if you know about the finances then too a deeper detail is needed to process further.

Finance is the major part of divorce cases and if you are not aware of your finances then just stop right there. Before taking divorce into consideration learn about your finances and then talk to a divorce lawyer. Even your divorce case will need money so be ready with a good finance backup.

5 Getting family advice

While having a divorce there would be many people to advise you. How to do it? Or how you should not do it? But in the end, this is your decision and hence you need an unbiased person to give valuable advice which can really help.

Conclusion

Find family law attorney in Greenville and ask them what really is possible? What legalities are included in the case? This is the right way to go for a divorce case than to make mistakes by taking the wrong advice. I wish you all the luck that prevails.

 

 

10 Tips To Prepare Preparing Your Children For Your Divorce

Whenever there is a divorce it impacts a family as a whole. Children are never aware of the situations and hence they are impacted more severely. Parents are involved in their fights while getting a divorce and children get squeezed into these issues. While if a child is not prepared for future outcomes then he may face mental challenges such as depression, aggression, and hatred.

Now how do you make your child prepared? What are the steps to be used to start the process? How to make sure it never happens in the future? So here comes some tested tips to help you out.

Where to start?

No parent would want their child to be in a negative phase of their life and that too because of problems between parents. Hence prior actions can avoid these situations and assure a happy future for your child.

Age matters

There is a difference in the mentality of a toddler and teenager and hence you need to speak to them differently. Well, a parent needs to have a proper consultation with a divorce attorney in Long Beach because they are also going through the same time.

Talking with toddlers

Babies are simple as they don’t understand the events while they need time for care and nutrition. You can not leave them alone. Kindergartners can understand some events with limited thinking. If you can avoid creating situations in front of them then it will do. You can watch their behavior and talk accordingly.

Early teenagers

These are around 6-11-year-olds who have gained enough knowledge to understand the situations. They can recognize and become depressed with thoughts of divorce. They may ask questions or not but you need to empathize with them and tackle with care.

Teens

Children at the age of 12-14-year-olds are more prone to be mentally depressed with divorce or may not get affected at all. But both behaviors are dangerous as they must be explained in situations clearly. While talking to your children and understanding them needs a lot of psychology knowledge.

Priorities

There are times when you reach out to your child but they won’t respond to you. You need to make sure while being in these situations the communication should be more open. You need to tell them that your parents are open to each thought you have. As they can trust you and share their thoughts.

Handling forthcoming prospects 

While handling a divorce your child needs to be ready for each struggle he may face in the future. What you can do? Start with build g a good relationship, you may already have it. It is just that you keep working on it while not forgetting your children in between of divorce.

Tell them what you feel rather than beating around the bush. You should not hide real situations as when they come to know it might be a shock. So be careful when you handle a child.

Read

A parent must not think that they know everything. You may not know some key areas for the importance of a child. But if you read good parenting books then it is more likely that you can understand situations much better before it gets worse. Reading will. make you ready to tackle situations differently.

Avoid conflicts 

What you can do when conflicts are likely to arise during or after divorce? Your child will be against them at some points, he will ask you hundreds of questions each day. You may come across conflicts while answering these questions. It is imperative to avoid conflicts.

How can you avoid conflicts? You can easily avoid conflicts by preparing a reasonable answer backed by logic before the conflict happens. You may want to know what questions can be there. Step into the shoes of your children and think about what they can ask? Eventually, you will understand.

Consistency

A parent’s job is never completed; they need to be continuously working on and creating it with their child. You may lose the consistent behavior but then again start from scratch and try reconnecting. Ask their schedule to be involved more. Engage them with family bonding activities. Slowly be better at it.

Conclusion

Reach out to family law attorneys in Long Beach in case of any help. Don’t hesitate even for once as these situations may be more clearly explained by the best divorce attorney of Long Beach. I wish you all the luck that prevails!

 

Filing An Appeal For A Divorce Case: Unique Challenges & Complications

Most of you might be dealing with ruptured marriages and willing to get rid of it. You must be aware that you need to file an appeal to get separated from your spouse. Well, filing an appeal for the divorce case is not that easy and simple and there is a second chance, once the trial concludes. An appeal asks a higher court to review a case with the same information gathered by the trial court to make sure there are no legal errors in the case. Well, if you are in Carmel you definitely need family law attorney Carmel or divorce lawyers Carmel to consult. An attorney has to approach to have proper legal justice for the clients and not having any unfavorable outcome for the client in any situation.

And as you already know appeals are not that easy and the situation can be complex and complicated. Let’s acknowledge the challenges and complications that occur while filing an appeal for a divorce case.

Filing an appeal for a divorce case: unique challenges & complications

Though you may know that the appeal for a divorce case is complex however here the bigger question is why?

Firstly you need to consult a family law attorney as they may guide you and let you know if it is worth filing an appeal for a divorce case. An appeal can take a longer duration to get the verdict rather than an original case. Well, of course, you may be aware of the fact that a successful appeal for one spouse can be a failure for another spouse not only in case of appeal but for all the expectations as well.

As you know filing the case involves lots of trauma and distress and the upcoming situation is entirely unpredictable.Moreover, the appeal and judgment in the divorce are not like any other practice area. As the family needs to maintain their lives meanwhile the whole process of appealing takes place.

Once the appealing is done, the table entirely turns into the house and the situation becomes quite difficult emotionally to handle. it is true that after appealing as well you need to live in the same house and face you, spouse and family, regularly. And if children are involved the situation may become more challenging as they are waiting for the whole situation to wrap up and all can move on with their routine life. it is true that appealing for the divorce can lead to heavy emotional baggage.

Not only that the appeal also involves the risk of making things difficult for the one who appealed for the divorce. However, there could be an error by the trial court, and in that case, the higher court deals with the proceedings that need to be concluded, however that does not mean the appellant will be benefitted for the proceedings the case will be the same for both the spouses. Hence, appealing can make things quite complex for the appellant.

Conclusion

Filing an appeal for a divorce case can make the whole situation tough and dealing it regularly is not that easy. In this situation, it is really important for you to keep your calm and maintain harmony. The situation is tough and so are you, all you need is the skilled and experienced family law attorney Carmel  that can guide you for further instances. If you have a complex and complicated divorce case that should be dealt through an appeal, then you should consult a highly-skilled attorney and a legal team. I wish you all the luck that prevails!

 

10 Questions to Ask Your Divorce Attorney at the First Visit

Divorce is a big step forward and the way it is done will have lasting effects on the remaining period of your life. It’s prudent to look for qualified legal counsel regardless of the hand you’re on. You’ve actually never ever been divorced because the process is unique and stressful. You need to research before hiring a divorce attorney to ensure you get the best lawyer for your case.

Study the expertise of each prospective lawyer, how the case will be dealt with, and what legal fees you will incur.

When you or your partner is in the military, you’ll need to make sure you don’t employ a divorce attorney who has no military divorce experience. If you’re rich and run your run company, you don’t want to employ a lawyer who’s never worked with the complex financial problems that come with dividing huge properties. You deserve a divorce lawyer who’s experienced in making your life memorable.

Ask the questions you need to ask to ensure your specific divorce case is handled by an attorney. This is a list of 10 questions, for instance, to pose before working with a lawyer.

    1.   How long have you practiced?

If you are concerned with considerable assets or a fight over the custody, you would prefer to hire an accomplished counsel. Furthermore, find out how many of those cases ended in a courtroom and assess the legal expertise of the defendant. It is important to know your client in front of a judge is relaxed and competent.

Often inquire if someone else working on your case in the workplace, such as a younger prosecutor or a paralegal, can do so. You want to consider the experts who are going to work on your case, what activities they are going to do, and how much each one is costing.

    2.  How often will we communicate about my case?

If a lawyer is unable to answer that question, he or she may be a bad communicator. Structured and focused lawyers have a constructive style of communication that suits the individual client.

The case’s severity does make a difference. A standard case has contact from 1-4 times a month. A complicated case that is frequently involved in active, contested litigation could have substantially more.

    3.  Are you in a position to handle my case?

Experienced lawyers know the boundaries. They can devote so much of their expertise, resources, and time to their investigations. Right lawyers support the people and organizations they represent, and will not sign customers because they feel the case is not receiving the publicity it deserves.

A single-person organization is most likely to have issues with time distribution. That is why it is better to have a bigger, more well-established organization.

    4.  What fields of law do you specialize in?

You sure shouldn’t go to a heart surgeon to deliver your baby while they are both doctors. Similarly, in your profession, you will not go to a solicitor who does not focus on work involving personal injuries.

Usually, many attorneys are educated in various fields of practice, and hence have special expertise specific to those fields.

   5.  Have you ever had an experience of a case like mine?

It is incredibly critical that your counsel has years of experience consulting in similar cases to yours.

You’ll just want to say your lawyer’s success rate is high. Although winning cases is not the only significant indicator, they should be a strong, dedicated, and knowledgeable attorney who can pursue your case with a successful winning record.

   6.  How much do you charge?

Most personal injury lawyers operate on the basis of a contract of insurance fees. That means you can cover court bills only if they are willing to get full compensation for the injury. Contingency payments to high-quality attorneys are typically 40 percent of the settlement, which in some cases can also be minimized. Before hiring your attorney, make sure you read the retainer report closely.

    7.   How long does the lawyer think it would take to settle this case?

When hospital costs and days off work add up, an estimate of how long it will take before the expenses are paid for is still required. Hence, about how long your life will be disturbed by holding court hearings, appointments to the investigation psychiatrist, etc.

There are a variety of things that will decide the length of the litigation, and no judge will be able to give you a specific period of time, but they will be able to give you an approximate timeframe based on how many trials you have faced in the past, equivalent to yours.

    8.   What amount of engagement am I going to have?

Your lawyer is trying to defend you in such a manner that you can’t handle it on your own because they’ll need to know your past to do that. In addition, you’ll need to consult on different facets of the case with your counsel and their staff.

Some lawyers also handle cases individually with their own styles. Most demand a high degree of contact from consumers. Others are likely to do more of the work themselves. Make sure that you know exactly what your client wants of you before they agree.

    9.   If we lose, do I have to pay the advanced costs?

On top of that, personal injury attorneys accelerate the cost of the lawsuit. Out-of-pocket expenses that follow lawyers include filing fees, health record collection fees, and expert witness costs.

Many lawyers will stipulate that if the case is lost, you will not be held responsible for any additional expenses, although others may force you to cover such expenses if the case is lost.

    10.   Will the Attorney provide references from past clients?

Many jurisdictions now allow the attorneys to provide former clients with references. When you are in one of those countries, previous client reports can be a direct indicator of whether former clients have been pleased with the performance of the council and will be a source of information about the results achieved, the time span, and what else the counsel can anticipate.

Bio-

Sometimes the problems that emerge during family law trials are very delicate and stressful. These complex matters are extremely important to the lives of our clients and their children and deserve to be discussed with caring and comprehensive legal advice.

Our divorce attorneys in Stuart Martin County are committed to offering personalized and professional advice in a variety of family law matters. When you are in the middle of litigation concerning divorce or family law, it is imperative that you consult with an attorney to ensure that your opinion is understood and that your rights are secured.

 

Family Law and Custody Issues in Divorce Cases Remain Complicated

With the change in time and technology, the approach of people has changed a lot towards numerous things. And why not? After all the new innovations and approaches have been brought to the limelight to ease the life of the people. Yet there are some aspects that have not been changed and are still complicated and ruptured marriages are one of them, not only that parents involved in getting the custody of the child are still the same.

Well, the situation is not only about who gets it but when and how long do parents have to wait. In these situations generally, children have the maximum loss. and if you are dealing with divorce and the child custody in San Bernardino you definitely need to consult family law attorney San Bernardino or child custody lawyers San Bernardino or divorce attorney San Bernardino.

Family law and custody issues in divorce cases remain complicated with the time yet as a parent it is really important to know your rights and what kinds of child custody agreements are available and what are the grants in each of the agreements. Though, understanding the agreements is not that difficult yet can be a bit confusing in order to understand as you are going through so much stress and dealing with both divorce and child custody issues.

Types of custody you need to deal in

Legal Custody– A quite common type of custody is legal custody. This involves both the parents and is shared mutually. it is a merely straightforward type of custody and you have all the rights reserved to take the decision which you find beneficial for your child, not only for any crucial matter but you can be the part of day concerns as well.

Physical Custody–  This is another form of custody in which the child has the right to stay with one parent for a period of time and for another specific time with the other parent.  Usually, one parent has a longer period for the child to stay due to the logistics of physical custody.

This can also be said to be a shared custody type of arrangement involving both the parents with the child visitation schedule created by the lifestyles of the parents. And with the best interest of the children.

Sole Custody– This form of custody involves situations where one parent or the other gets sole custody of the child that means legal and physical custody both. This type of custody usually tends to take place when one of the parents is not capable of taking care of the child or maybe abusive and can only get custody in extreme situations.

Joint Custody– This type of custody is awarded to both the parents. This means both the parents get to share legal and physical custody. This custody is usually preferred by the court and it seems to be the best for the child. However, the situation could not be the same for all cases it differs from cases to cases.

Conclusion

Well, you are now much aware of the complexity of family law and custody issues and from the old age to the modern time things haven’t changed as required. However, you need proper guidance from the experienced and skilled family law attorney in San Bernardino that helps you to get a better vision of family law and custody cases. it is one of the most essential decisions of life and you need to go through the whole process with expert knowledge. I wish you all the luck that prevails!

 

What Should You Expect From Your Family Attorney for Your Divorce Case?

There is no doubt that whenever you tend to get any service the expectations from those services are pretty clear. But when you want to opt for the divorce services, the expectations from your divorce lawyer is always a question mark. Whether it is family law attorney Fishers or divorce law attorney Fishers, you must know what you do from a divorce lawyer.

In this article, let’s understand what you should expect from your family attorney for your divorce case?

 

Expectations according to the factors:

 

Well, your expectation entirely depends upon how much skillful and experienced attorney you have hired?  And also, are your expectations realistic and genuine?

 

Divorce attorneys are general service providers like any other field attorney and, so the quality may differ as per the experience and knowledge.

 

And as you know that the different profession requires different skills, for example, all doctors may have the degree of M.B.B.S but that doesn’t mean that all the doctors are that much skillful.

Same goes with lawyers you need to hire a lawyer who has family law experience, knowledge of the legalities, communication skills,  courtroom litigation skills, writing and negotiation skills, much other skill set in order to set the bar of efficiency and effectiveness inside and outside the courtroom.

 

The expectations from a bad divorce attorney:

Well, like any other services divorce attorney services also have the capability measurement. What should you expect from a bad divorce attorney?

 

Lack of communication and mail ethics, failing to respond to your calls and messages on time.

Wasting time and money on the issues that are not much necessary and may have a bad influence in the long term.

Lack of preparation and knowledge required to represent your case in front of the judiciary.

Disturbance in paperwork, documentation, typo errors, proofreading errors, incomplete or incorrect statements, and more.

Not communicating efficiently, rather than focusing on making it a strong case with logical choices drilling the client emotionally.

The above-mentioned points make it very clear that what you should never expect your efficient lawyer to do.

 

Specifying your expectation with an average divorce attorney:

There is not much difference in a bad attorney and an average attorney as they commonly work on similar grounds and make you suffer the same way.

An average attorney will also show you a hard time when it comes to responding and reaching them for your hearings or case preparation.They also do not try efficiently on focusing on the facts that are essential for your case.

They may have the degree of a lawyer but the lack of experience and knowledge about family law can make your case complicated and they may not be to skillfully cope up with the complex situations.Below an average understanding of the law and shreds of evidence, things can go wrong.

 

What should you expect from your family attorney for your divorce case?

A great and prominent lawyer is the one you are seeking for your divorce case. An efficient and effective lawyer possesses some great qualities.

Thorough knowledge and experience of courtroom litigation. The way they own the courtroom with all the confidence is what makes them different from other lawyers.

The way they communicate to make your case stronger and representable and their excellent communication skills and interest in your case is what is expected from a great lawyer.

They do indulge in practices that can waste time and money, and always work on what makes sense and important for the case.

They focus on providing error-free and quality paperwork and take the updates on a weekly basis which makes your case proceedings presentable in front of the judiciary.

 

Conclusion

It is hard to focus on the things when you are going through a divorce as it is a traumatic situation. But proper guidance is really important in order to come out of the situation positively. Your expectation from your family attorney is what makes you choose the best outcome in the future. So, think wisely before choosing your divorce attorney. I wish you all the luck that prevails!

 

How to Have a Stress-Free Divorce in Los Angeles (or anywhere) when your spouse was cheating on you?

Well, of course, everybody is aware that divorce is not an easy task and can make your life quite stressful and devastating.  Divorce is definitely a hard process and can turn out to be the worst time of an individual’s life, especially when your spouse is cheating on you. The time can turn out to be very tough and preposterous to share the same space with your spouse. In this situation usually, an individual plans to get separated and file a divorce.

If you are willing to file a divorce in Los Angeles you definitely need to consult a family law attorney Los Angeles or a divorce attorney Los Angeles. However, here are some great suggestions to make your life easier and have a stress-free divorce in Los Angeles when your spouse was cheating on you.

 

How to Have a Stress-Free Divorce in Los Angeles when your spouse was cheating on you?

 

  • Take out some “ME TIME”

Taking out some “ME TIME” does not mean having a coffee and Netflix subscription and passing out on your couch, but you should really take out time for yourself that can actually release your stress that tends to happen while taking a divorce.

Taking out some time for yourself means working on your improvements, fitness, and making yourself better than yesterday. Spending some quality time with friends and family, interacting culturally, and making yourself comfortable through socializing, do what makes you passionate and find some great opportunities to forget about your divorce without making it tough for you.

Give yourself some pampering, plan out a trip, or get yourself a book and read it to the core. Just have fun and forget about your stressing divorce.

 

  • Go for therapy or seek comfort

Divorce is not that easy and things don’t go so comfortably. Seeking support and comfort can help you out to pass this stage sleekly. You can visit the therapist and take some mind refreshing sessions.

You can go through some social media posts, motivational and inspirational thoughts that can release your stress and surround you with some positivity. You can also join support groups or get any companion to share your stress and support you to get through this difficult time.

Moreover, groups have some people with similar situations that can make you understand your situation and cope up with support and care.

 

  • Take care of your health

Things get difficult in such a situation and usually, people tend to rely on food. Getting a heavy and delicious meal to forget your stress is quite obvious, but try not to ruin your health due to your temporary stress rather turn down your energy to make the worth of your current situation.

No doubt the time is tough but this too shall pass, you just need to keep yourself healthy and pass this stressful time. Make sure that you make healthy choices when it comes to your meal so that your body and mind always feel fresh.

 

Conclusion

Getting a divorce is, of course, a difficult situation and you need to emerge strong through the whole process. There are numerous things that can help you to pass this difficult time. All you need is to create a positive perspective in order to forget your past and think about the positive instance that may occur in future. Consulting a skilled and knowledgeable divorce attorney in Los Angeles may get you the ray of hope and turn the whole scenario into favorable conditions, you just need to keep calm and keep yourself healthy. I wish you all the luck that prevails!

 

Living Together During a Divorce

In between deciding to get a divorce and officially splitting ways, you may have to live with your partner until everything is finalized. This can be for a variety of reasons. Maybe you have kids and agreed you both want to raise them in the same house. Maybe you or your partner don’t have the financial resources to live independently yet. Maybe because of a stay-at-home order, you have to live in the same home.

It can be a very difficult situation. The home, the car, the appliances–all of these items which were once shared are now divided. It’s no longer a relationship between husband and wife but two awkward, new roommates. An arrangement like this may feel intolerable, but it also could be necessary as the separation is finalized and the groundwork can be laid for you to begin a new journey.

Here are some tips and strategies for making this transition period as successful as possible.

Create “Ground Rules” for Each Other

Your relationship is different now than it was before, and so are the ways you want to be treated. You are no longer partners in the same marriage, but something different to each other. What this new relationship is and what it means, you might want to explore. Especially because of stay-at-home orders, you could be seeing each other more often than before. It helps to create boundaries with each other.

Designate some spaces and times for you, spaces and times for the other, and spaces and times to be together. You each will desire different degrees of privacy, but remember that in sharing the same house, contact with the other is unavoidable.

Talk about what behaviors are and aren’t acceptable while you are still living together. Is it okay if you or your partner gets back on the dating scene? Who can use the car and when? Getting clarification over these matters can prevent ugly disputes in the future.

Communication and the creation of these “ground rules” will help make your time together as respectful as possible.

Agree on How You Will Split the Bills

These bills include taxes, groceries, credit cards, etc. Typically, it’s a good idea to divide expenses based on current income or based on how you’ve paid bills before. Either way, you want to make it clear who will pay what. Otherwise, you risk financial consequences. If your name is attached to a credit card bill, for instance, but you refuse to pay in full because you feel half of the bill belongs to your partner, your credit score will suffer regardless.

Decide clearly who will pay for what. It’s very important that you also keep written records of who has been spending and earning what so your lawyer knows where you are financially. If it gets too emotional, you might even consider hiring a lawyer or mediator. You want to make sure you steer clear of money problems as best as you can.

Think About the Children

You might be tempted to butt heads while stuck at home during a divorce, but this is especially a bad idea when you have children. As much as it’s a difficult time for you, it’s a difficult time for your children. The negative effects divorce can have on children are well documented, from harming them academically to hurting their ability to handle conflict. Be very deliberate when interacting with your partner in front of your children.

Make sure to determine how you will divide up time with your children. You might want time with your children separately and time with your children together. You will also need to determine who will take care of your children and when, who will take them to activities, etc.

Your children can more acutely pick up on what’s going on between the two of you than you may think. Be extra careful with how you handle the situation with them. Show your children that you still respect each other, but let them know you are separating.

Don’t Start Any Bad Habits

Divorce can be very stressful for both sides, and it may be tempting to turn to “solutions” like alcohol or drug use. Yet far from soothing your anguish, these addictions will just add fuel to the fire. Excessive drinking will hinder your abilities to deal with your present circumstances and plan for the future. Far from making time with your partner more bearable, alcohol will more likely make you and your partner more irritable and upset. The bottle isn’t the answer.

Alcoholism and drug use are very serious issues that will certainly lead to more harm than good. When they come up during divorce proceedings, they can cause you to make regrettable decisions that will have terrible consequences on your future, such as how assets are divided, who receives child custody, personal reputation, etc. Make sure you put down the bottle, and if you feel you still need help, remember alcohol rehab is much more preferable to a damaged future.

Look Ahead to the Future

You’re not going to be able to remain under the same roof forever. Start budgeting and planning for the future. How will you financially support yourself? If you have children, how will child custody be sorted out? What are your next steps in life, from education to employment?

Just because you are sharing a home in a present doesn’t mean you can’t plan ahead for your own future. After a divorce, you get a chance to reinvent yourself. Planning ahead as thoroughly as possible will make the next chapter of your life easier to begin.

Conclusion

Getting through a divorce will be difficult. When you are stuck under the same roof with the person you’re trying to part from, it can be worse than living separately. But there are successful strategies we can use to make the process as painless as possible.

Develop “ground rules” and make communication as clear and open as possible. Make sure you are clear about who is paying what so you won’t run into financial difficulties. Always keep your children in mind during the separation. Plan ahead for the future so you can more easily step into your new life.

Links (in order):

family.findlaw.com/divorce/divorce-mediation-faq.html

marripedia.org/effects.of.divorce.on.children.s.behavior

dadsdivorce.com/articles/embracing-freedom-reinvent-divorce/

Author Bio: Patrick Bailey is a professional writer mainly in the fields of mental health, addiction, and living in recovery. He attempts to stay on top of the latest news in the addiction and the mental health world and enjoy writing about these topics to break the stigma associated with them. Website: patrickbaileys.com

Twitter: twitter.com/Pat_Bailey80    LinkedIn: www.linkedin.com/in/patrick-bailey-writer

What Should You do if your partner is a bully during your divorce

Divorce, in normal terms, is an agreement where both parties agree on terms and conditions in order to get separated.  Well, generally there is the consent of both the spouses and their families while taking the divorce. However, there is not always an ending with the mutual consent one of the spouses makes it difficult by being a bully. Of course, you need to hire a family law attorney Salt Lake City or divorce law attorney California in order to secure yourself from being bullied.

Hiring an attorney is definitely helpful yet there are some measures you can take if you find out that you are being bullied by your spouse and settle on mutual grounds that are helpful for both the parties.

Protect yourself with mental harassment

There are times when you may feel that your partner is crossing the limits and becoming abusive and you may feel threatened. Well, both mental and physical abuse is illegal in most countries. You can file a complaint against your spouse in any matter you feel harassed or if you are being threatened.

Create a supportive network around you that can help you and work as a witness as it is difficult to recognize that you are the victim of abuse and keep them approachable to help you out.

Consult your divorce lawyer

You must consult and inform each and everything to your divorce lawyer Salt Lake City. Of course, your partner being a bully does not want to communicate with you, then you must let your lawyer communicate. You must be confident enough to inform everything to your lawyer as your lawyer will understand the situation and will not let you get into the uncomfortable zone with your partner.

Keep everything legal

If you know that you cannot pull up your points in front of your partner is a bully and does not allow you to convey your thoughts properly. In general situations, it is advisable that they should sort out through mediation or collaborative law but your situation is unusual as your partner will not allow you to reach mutual consent.  In such cases where one of the partners is abusive, the decision should be taken by an independent judge. And in court, the behavior of your partner can turn out to be useful for you, just make sure you have a skillful lawyer who is aware of the tactics and the nature of the court. A family judge will take the decision on the most ethical note that can save you from all the trauma you are suffering because your partner is a bully.

Conclusion

All the divorce cases are not the same, and all the cases don’t end in mutual consent easy agreement. There might be some exceptions such as your partner being a bully, fraud, or an extramarital case. Each case requires time and attention and keen observation. So if you are in a situation where your partner is a bully, mark the measures that are mentioned above, they can really help you out to overcome the situation. I wish you all the luck that prevails!

 

 

How a dedicated Divorce Lawyer Proves advantageous for Your Case?

Having a dedicated Divorce Lawyer Los Angeles is really important for your case as a good divorce lawyer can take care of you and your case in a better way that you might have never imagined. Opting for Family Law attorney Los Angeles or divorce law attorney Los Angeles is entirely your choice in order to take your divorce proceedings forward.  But the question arises is how a dedicated divorce lawyer can prove to be advantageous for your case?

You might be doing the divorce procedure once or many be twice but a divorce lawyer has gone through the same procedure numerous times, this specifies a divorce lawyer has an abundance of knowledge you cannot match. Although, you might be aware of the fact that the term divorce is entirely a legal procedure of ending the marriage  and this is the situation where a dedicated divorce lawyer plays an essential role.

Why do you need the services of a dedicated lawyer?

  • You require a skilled lawyer when you are getting a divorce from your partner. And your lawyer is the one who has all the experience you need to deal with your divorce case.
  • You must know that a dedicated lawyer has a thorough knowledge and understanding in order to assist you with the best and favorable ideas and suggestions and make you aware of human and material rights so that you have all the required guidance for your divorce case.
  • Handling the situation is not easy and things can be ugly and traumatic, so in this situation, it is advisable to hire an attorney that is entirely dedicated to your case.
  • Finding a dedicated and a good lawyer is not easy so it is really important for you to take out the time to research it well and choose the best for yourself. Moreover, it is highly recommended that you do not take your proceedings on your own. As you don’t want to make your case weak without knowing the rights and nature of the court. You may encounter many people who have taken the decision of handling their cases on their own just to save the legal fees, the less knowledge they have that will be paying much more than that in the long term, and will regret the decision of not hiring an attorney.
  • However, there are certain points on which you need to rely on dedicated attorneys such as when it comes to negotiating and dealing with property and other matters. A dedicated lawyer focuses on dividing the assets into both the parties equally and tries to keep matters sorted so that both the parties do not hold any grudges against each other.
  • A good and dedicated lawyer represents your case and tries to put light on all the matters that are necessary to be discussed and sorted out in a friendly manner. And why not? issues like custody and alimony are delicate matters and need to be managed carefully. A dedicated and skillful lawyer deals with each issue so that you do not have to face any problem after the case is closed.

Conclusion

Well, divorce procedure is hard and painful but however, you need to deal with it. To overcome that situation you need the proper guidance and right direction not only emotionally but also in your legal matters. In this situation, a dedication Family Law Attorneys Los Angeles can is everything that you need to figure out a scenario and get a clear picture. So, it advisable to hire an eligible attorney for your divorce case. I wish you all the luck that prevails!

A Family Attorney Can Settle Some Child Custody Related Issues in Divorce

Divorce is not an easy task, and especially when children are concerned there are many aspects you need to take care of. With the whole procedure of divorce, you definitely don’t want to overlook your children and there are several other issues you need to discuss. In those situations definitely want to take help from the divorce attorneys Stuart or child custody attorney, Stuart.

A family attorney can settle some child custody related issues in Divorce.

  • The topmost priority in this situation is generally the custody of the children. There are manifold options that include opting for joint custody in which you and your spouse both have the opportunity to be with the kids. Keeping the children half of the month with you and making the spouse keep half of the month makes it easy for both parties.
  • You can opt for sole custody and let your spouse visit the kids as per their choice.
  • Well, you need to know that there is a concept of physical and legal custody. Physical
  • custody involves the decision with the kids to live with whereas the legal custody involves all the religious, medical, and educational decisions made for the kids. Here is the role of your family attorney to help you out with the most preferred decision and work on the decisions you made for the best outcome.
  • Once the choices are made in terms of custody there are financial aspects as well that need to be taken care of. Well, no matter who gets the custody and what may be the decision the financial responsibility is generally taken care of by both the parties. And whoever gets to keep the kids will be owed money by the other parent. The entire procedure of expense depends upon the situation and creating a favorable situation depends upon your attorney, so it is highly important for you to choose wisely.
  • You definitely require an experienced family law professional attorney, who has immense knowledge about child support cases.
  • While taking the divorce there are many multiple custody rights you must be aware of. Your family attorney helps you out by guiding with all the custody rights and details.
  • There are situations where the father may have a doubt about the kid and think they might not be the father. In such a situation, your family attorney can plead for a paternity
  • DNA test on your behalf. Not only that there might be a situation when the father is sure that the children are his yet mother claims they are. In those cases also family attorneys can plead for a paternity / DNA test on your behalf.

Conclusion

There are many such situations that family attorneys deal within a regular basis. However, it’s the regular work of a family attorney to settle some child custody related issues in divorce. All you need to do is hire an experienced and skillful attorney that can make conditions work in your favor. Taking divorce is kind of a life-changing decision and when kids are involved it is really important to make all the important decisions wisely that also includes choosing an experienced family law attorney Stuart. I wish you all the luck that prevails.

 

Can Her Spouse and She Use the Same Lawyer During Their Divorce?

You are aware of the fact that divorce involves a lot of money and being one of the important decisions of your life you cannot afford to go wrong with your consulting and preparation as it is the matter of paperwork and documentation.

Well, in that case, you generally get the thought of hiring the same lawyer in order to save the penny. Whether it be family law lawyers Long Beach or divorce lawyers Long Beach you think about having the same. Nevertheless, the answer is a pretty clear NO, you cannot hire a mutual lawyer. to finalize your divorce, you’ll need to make decisions on these five things:

  1. Don’t let anger force you to divorce
  2. Share your desire to divorce someone you truly trust
  3. Don’t give up on your marriage until you have done everything you can to fix your problems
  4. Don’t get involved with anyone else
  5. Don’t leave an unhappy relationship until you can comfortably take care of yourself

Here are the reasons for not using the same lawyer for the divorce.

  • The first is quite evident, whenever you hire an attorney you hire it for your work. The attorney is hired specifically to represent you in front of the jury and only for your beneficiary.
  • Professionally it is strictly prohibited for any attorney to take the case from both the parties no matter if they have mutual consent either, the attorney is not allowed at all to take it.
  • The ethics and rules do not all allow any professional to indulge with the clients of the same conflicting interest. As they cannot provide the legal advice as there is no vision for them to take it further in whose interest, and naturally they will prefer doing it for the one who might offer them an extra amount than the other.
  • However, if you and your spouse willingly agree on most of the aspects involved in your divorce you can opt for the mediation. Well, the mediation not necessarily needs to be an attorney. Rather than choosing two different attorneys, you can go for the mediator, however, consulting a mediator who is an attorney is recommendable. As his/her unbiased guidance can help you with the process of the agreeable divorce agreement.
  • Mediator services don’t involve judgment so hir/her work is to get your mutual grounds on paper which is much better than doing it by yourself. Choosing an attorney-mediator can help you out on legal grounds as they are familiar with all the paperwork and process to get a divorce through the agreeable divorce agreement.
  • But if you acquire much knowledge and detailing you need not hire a mediator all you can do is hire an attorney who can complete all your paperwork. All you can do is sign the documents and let the attorney represent them in front of the jury, that sounds much easier now! and the attorney will just represent the points on behalf of the one who hired him/her.

Let’s understand the role of mediation with a neutral attorney

  • They help out the spouses to understand the law.
  • They help out the spouses for all sorts of documentation such as filling out the forms and exchange financial disclosures.
  • Well, they can also help you out to highlight the main issues for you to get the divorce.
  • Help out to generate the agreement with all the clauses and contract points that discussed with mutual consent.
  • Drafting the settlement agreement and working on details

Conclusion 

Hiring a single attorney-mediator is a better option as the couple can save the money who are trying to reduce divorce costs. But make sure you have the knowledge about all your legal rights or it can turn out to be costly and unaffordable. Make sure you have all the required knowledge about the agreement you are going have through the mediator or else can lead you into trouble and you don’t want to end things on a bitter note. I wish you all the luck that prevails!

———————————————Bio———————————————————————————-

At The Law Offices of Kyle R. Puro Our attorney is considered amongst the  Long Beach Family Law Attorneys , with her prime focus areas being Family Law including Divorce, Child Custody and Paternity Modifications.  We highly passionate about her cases and understands her clients’ requirements with patience to come up with the most apt solution to embark on their journey to another chapter in their life.

 

 

Thinking about Divorce? Steps You can still Take during COVID

Whatever the cause, making the choice to divorce from your partner may be one of the hardest you’ll ever make, particularly when it’s a choice to start you awake in the face of a mountain of other concerns and stuff.

No matter when you reach the decision, it is essential to be prepared for the challenges ahead before you split.

In this COVID-19 case, Gold Coast Lawyers will use alarming evidence and also set out some primary factors.

Look for guidance 

If you contemplate divorce, the first thing you have to do is receive advice about the procedure, law and the issues you encounter. You will get full information at a time when most issues seem too unregulated. Ask those you know and have faith to give that advice to attorneys in your area who practice in divorce and then make a few consultations.

Even though it is certainly not at this time feasible to hold an in-person appointment, most clinicians are prepared to arrange a telephone or video conference and would even be readier now, since most court cases have been stopped.

To determine how to continue, the timeline and whether to go forward, a comprehensive consultation would provide you with all the relevant details.

Collect relevant documentation

With most operations stopped and citizens at home now, it is appropriate to gather paperwork needed if you intend to divorce. Records are important. Essential financial records include tax statements, sales reports and pension plans, loans, policy information, property assessment papers, etc. It is far too late to learn and find and appreciate this material, whether you have never been involved or taken part in financing. If you really need assistance, call the independent financial planner.

If you divorce you can probably save time and money in the long term by scheduling some of this material. It is also a perfect time to learn and work out your finances. When you actually split, this is a valuable practice. Note that with the sudden closing of some employers, things might have improved financially.

Focus on improving your children

It is important to note that being a parent should triumph above all the spousal and personal disagreements. For the sake of the kids, it is best to shield them from marital strife as isolated as possible. Bear in mind that you will have to keep parenting together given your conflicts, even if your relationship might not long.

Evaluate a strategy

Now is the time to take your choices into consideration and schedule a session. If the relationship is over and nice, you and your husband will be able to resolve the problems and see if there are anything you may compromise on. Settlement persists and at this time agreement through teleconferencing persists feasible.

You may also conclude and observe a detailed mediation deal with your respective attorneys. The majority of courts still stay available to filings such as spousal support concerns if you want to start that process.

Remain calm

It is impossible to be calm in an unhealthy relationship and the increased strain to confront a death and economic catastrophe pandemic definitely makes things that much more complicated.

Harsh comments by email and text might come back to annoy you in a future trial, even though you stay in the same home, and disruptive or abusive acts that often take place at court can result in domestic abuse. Find opportunities to keep quiet and relaxed instead. Think, go out for a fresh air or find other ways to relax and avoid constant conflict.

How this will affect your children 

If you have kids together or from a previous relationship, it is important to consider how they would be influenced by that. During this period, it is important that your children feel secure and are shielded from any tension created by the breakup, especially because most children are at home during this time and subjected to any unpleasant encounters with you two.

It is necessary to obtain counsel on any family plans that you plan to decide to and consider the consequences and responsibilities that you commit to.  

Bio:

Gary Mallett is counted amongst the finest lawyers in Gold Coast. Serving as an Associate at OMB Solicitors, he proudly holds decades of experience focussing primarily on cases such as financial agreement preparation and advice, parenting disputes, property disputes, divorce, child support issues, and domestic violence cases.

Menopause And Hormone Replacement Therapy (HRT)

Menopause, or “menopause,” refers to when a woman stops menstruating. It happens between 45 and 55 of the ages. The average age at which a woman reaches menopause is 51 years. Some of these women experience menopausal symptoms that usually occur between the ages of 45 and 65. Hormonal imbalance will also affect men in either ways. Know more about that <a href=”hrtresources.com/mens-health/testosterone/” rel=”dofollow”>here</a>.

During the menopause, the ovaries produce fewer and fewer female hormones (estradiol, a type of estrogen), as a result of which menstruation stops and other changes in the body also give rise to complaints. Menopause is preceded by a period in which menstruation decreases and eventually stops. If you are over 45 years old and have had no bleeding for a year, you are officially in menopause. You can then assume that your fertile period is over.

Menopausal complaints

General complaints such as fatigue, depressed mood, and muscle and joint pains are sometimes attributed to menopause, but this connection is less clear. The reduced production of estrogens (female hormones) during menopause also has an important influence on bone loss or osteoporosis; it speeds up the process of bone loss.

Hormonal replacement therapy (HRT)

Hormonal replacement therapy (HRT) is a hormone treatment that can be started if a menopausal woman reports the following symptoms:

  • hot flashes (short violent heart attacks);
  • to sweat;
  • poor sleep ;
  • vaginal dryness;
  • pain when having sex.

As the name says, the therapy substitutes or replaces the hormones that were present in larger amounts before the menopause.

Hormonal replacement therapy (HRT) is best not started too early, but preferably only if the menstrual periods are rare or preferably stopped and there are clear complaints.

How often do menopausal complaints occur?

Of all women, 55% to 60% suffer from hot flashes and sweats during menopause. These complaints mainly occur in the first year after the transition. Two years before the menopause, these complaints occur in about 15% of women.

About 15% of postmenopausal women (perimenopausal) and 30% of postmenopausal women (postmenopausal) experience vaginal dryness.

How can you recognize it?

Due to hormonal changes, your menstrual cycle will begin to change. Bleeding becomes irregular and may last shorter or longer, with more or less blood loss. The differences may be barely noticeable at first, but over time they become increasingly apparent.

In the meantime, you may experience all kinds of discomfort, which usually lasts until the transition and then gradually subside. The amount and severity of these discomforts differ for each woman.

These are the main symptoms:

  • hot flashes and flushing ;
  • (nightly) sweating;
  • difficulty sleeping ;
  • fatigue ;
  • irritability;
  • mood swings;
  • decreased sexual interest;
  • pain when having sex;
  • urinary tract infections ;
  • accidental leakage of urine ;
  • aching joints and muscle pain.

Some of the above complaints can also have other, sometimes more serious, causes. Therefore, always consult a doctor if you experience such complaints.

What can you do yourself?

A healthy lifestyle can relieve the symptoms of menopause and counter bone loss (osteoporosis) :

  • Exercise sufficiently.
  • Eat a healthy and balanced diet.
  • Don’t smoke.
  • Limit alcohol.
  • Strive for a healthy weight.

An hour of walking three times a week has more effect than the intake of extra lime or hormones.

Overweight women are known to suffer from menopausal sweating more. Smoking also worsens the symptoms. Also, menopause in smokers generally starts earlier. It also helps to limit coffee and spicy foods.

If you suffer from urine leakage, you can exercise your pelvic floor muscles together with a physiotherapist. Pain during sex and vaginal dryness can be remedied by using a lubricant.

When can your doctor consider treatment?

The main reason for initiating hormone replacement therapy (HRT) in women is to treat menopausal discomforts that hinder daily functioning. In some cases, this treatment may be considered to prevent  osteoporosis.

It is best not to start hormone replacement therapy (HRT) :

  • in women with breast cancer or a history of breast cancer (there are indications that HRT increases the risk of relapse);
  • in women with severe heart or liver disease;
  • in case of high blood pressure that does not drop sufficiently with medicines;
  • in case of cancer of the endometrium ;
  • for blood clotting problems (e.g. women who have had a deep vein thrombosis or pulmonary embolism or are at an increased risk of clotting disorders);
  • with vaginal bleeding without a known cause.

Advantages and disadvantages of hormone replacement therapy (HRT)

The doctor will consider per patient whether the benefits of HRT outweigh the disadvantages and possible risks. In any case, the final decision to start HRT lies with the woman herself, after she has been informed about the possible advantages and disadvantages of the treatment.

Additional benefits of HRT include:

  • a possible protective effect against heart problems (but there is debate about this);
  • a possibly beneficial effect on mood disorders;
  • a decrease in the risk of type 2 diabetes.

However, this should not be a reason to start treatment. In addition to the benefits, there are also several risks associated with the (long-term) use of HRT :

  • Some studies show an increased risk of cardiovascular disease, because estrogens, alone or in combination therapy, increase the risk of clots in the veins ( embolism or thrombosis ). That is why you should always take into account your predisposition or other risk factors for clot formation.
  • The hormonal effect of HRT slightly increases the risk of breast cancer.
  • HRT increases the risk of gallstones and gallbladder inflammation.
  • With long-term use (longer than 10 years), there is a slightly increased risk of ovarian cancer.

What can your doctor do?

Physical examination and questioning

Your doctor will first perform a gynecological examination and possibly a breast examination. He will also take a pap smear and possibly refer you for a mammography (chest X-ray). Finally, he will measure your blood pressure and weight food.

Also, your doctor will conduct a thorough survey to determine whether you are eligible for treatment. This also includes questions about the family appearance of certain disorders.

In women under 45, the doctor will try to rule out a menstrual disorder other than menopause. For this, he can take a blood sample, in which several hormones are determined (serum prolactin, thyroid-stimulating hormone or TSH, follicle-stimulating hormone, or FSH).

The results provide the doctor with insight into your hormonal balance and help him determine whether or not you are in menopause. Women over the age of 45 who have had no bleeding for a year are officially in transition. So for these women, a blood draw is not helpful or necessary to diagnose menopause.

Different forms of hormone replacement therapy (HRT)

If the doctor decides to initiate HRT, he will try to limit it to the lowest dose and to the shortest time possible. Depending on the complaints and the woman, HRT can be started with only estrogens, or in combination with progestins.

HRT with estrogens

Estrogen-only HRT (unless local) is only used in women who no longer have a uterus. Estradiol is the most commonly used estrogen and is prescribed in various forms. For example, a patch or skin gel is often a better choice for women with migraines, diabetes, epilepsy, or an increased risk of clots.

For women who suffer from vaginal dryness or pain during sex, topical treatment with estrogen cream or a vaginal ring is the best choice. This topical treatment should not be combined with a progestogen.

HRT with progestins

  • Progestogens such as progesterone, dydrogesterone, and norethisterone have a different profile and effect on the breast or uterine tissue. They are therefore chosen in function of the complaints and side effects. Progestogens are also available in pill, patch, or IUD form.
  • During the first year of menopause, preference is given to a cyclically combined preparation. This means that the estrogen is given continuously while the progestogen is only added in the first 12 to 14 days of the calendar month. The intention is to cause bleeding during the treatment-free week or after the end of the progestin phase in cyclic treatment. The volume and duration of bleeding should be normal. After several years of treatment, if needed for so long, the volume of bleeding in many women will decrease or even stop altogether.

To avoid vaginal bleeding, women can opt for:

  • a combined treatment (estrogen + progestin)
  • Both preparations are taken daily.
  • This treatment is usually only applied from 1 year after menopause.
  • tibolone, a substance with hormonal properties of both estrogens and progestins
  • This treatment is also usually only applied from 1 year after menopause.

Non-hormonal treatments

<a href=”womanlab.org/menopause-can-be-complicated-non-hormonal-treatments-shouldnt-be/” rel=”dofollow”>Non-hormonal treatments</a> are also possible. Women who suffer from hot flashes and are not allowed to take estrogens can consider an antidepressant such as venlafaxine, paroxetine, citalopram,….

How does your doctor monitor hormone replacement therapy (HRT)?

Your doctor will ask you to come for consultation within one year of starting the HRT. Then he will mainly check whether the complaints have improved, whether there are side effects, whether the dose can be reduced or if the treatment is stopped. There is no point in having blood estrogen levels determined via a blood draw.

Are You Preparing For Divorce? Here is some common Checklist

This pandemic has provoked various challenges in people’s life. People are going through financial crises, illness, lockdown, and many more problems. In such a scenario incompatibility and stress imply a lot of people to get a divorce.

Well, this is not a hidden fact that divorce is scary and depressive, however, you necessitate to deal with it and eliminate this situation. Los Angeles natives usually prefer consulting family lawyers in Los Angeles or divorce lawyers in Los Angeles. Nevertheless, dealing with this situation you need to be quite prepared. There might be many questions in your mind craving for satisfying answers such as how to do so? what to do? is it right to do and many more. Do not worry here is the checklist you require to prepare for your divorce.

Acknowledge some common elements of the checklist you require if preparing for a divorce. 

Counseling is important before a big decision 

Consider consulting with a marriage counselor before you file a divorce case, there’s no harm in it. You really need to understand is it really required? is divorce is the only situation and is this situation deserves a life-changing decision? Consulting can help you in figuring out your relationship what if, it may work you never know.

Checklist of documentation

So now as you are clear in your head with your divorce taking a decision, all you need is the proper documentation to take a step ahead. Documents include all your tax returns, debts, property papers, insurance papers, investment deals, assets bills (car, jewelry, etc.), retirement and pension plans, and more. You may require any of the documents any time so be a bit proactive and gather all required papers and secure your file.

Figure out the post-divorce probabilities.

Well, you need to get your financial acquainted as you need to have knowledge about your monthly bills and payments. How much is your savings, how your expenses are calculated and how will you do it all alone? It’s really essential to understand your financial stream before taking the divorce.

Find about your will

After divorce, you need to update all your documents including your will and for that, you require thorough knowledge about your trust.

Start maintaining your current expense records

As mentioned above it is quite essential to figure out your financial flow and for that, you really need to figure out your expenses and manage them properly.

Figure out your exact aim 

Well, you are taking a big decision so the base of the situation has to be strong enough to lead you to get a divorce. But as you have taken it you need to know what are the items you require such as household, how will you be taking your life forward what do you want, and what you don’t.

Children should not be neglected 

If kids are involved in your case you need to be a bit more concerned. You cannot make them suffer due to your own issues. Where children are involved however the matter becomes sensitive you need to handle it maturely and calmly. Make them feel secure and wanted so that situation does not become awkward.

You need a lawyer 

Well, most of the things in the checklist are done by yourself but it doesn’t mean you can run your own case in the court. You require a skillful, experienced, and knowledgeable attorney to lead your case, as they are better than you in all the terms and get you to divorce peacefully with the mutual suggestion and approach. Consult with family law attorney Los Angeles before hiring one as it is one of the most important decisions.

Focus on the wider picture 

This is a big decision and can affect you and your family forever, so make sure you are doing everything with your integrity and do not ruin anything for any petty excuse, and for that, all you need is control over your anger and deal peacefully.

Conclusion 

Generally, people think that divorce all about separating with legal terms, however, it involves money, parenting, sensitive matters, and emotions. Getting a divorce might be the only option left in front of you but remember that struggling this is also not very easy, so make your decision carefully. I wish you all the luck that prevails!

 

How to deal with legal issues during Lockdown

Lockdown has been incredibly difficult for everyone and each individual has had their own pressures and worries to work out whilst living in an uncertain world, one where you’re expected to stay at home, perhaps even an unhappy home.

If you find yourself in need of professional legal advice to help with a current dispute regarding children, divorce or separation or civil partnership breakdown, there is still something you can do – even during lockdown – to help the situation.

Family Arbitration

Family Arbitration is a form of dispute resolution and it’s a quick and versatile option which can be tailored to an individual’s particular circumstances, to ensure they can resolve any issues which include finances or issues concerning children, in a time and environment that suits them.

Family Arbitration is very useful in these current times as the process doesn’t require you to go to a court. You would normally visit the office of your Arbitrator however as that’s not currently possible, the process can continue virtually.

Virtual Arbitration

Virtual Arbitration is ideal for individuals who need to resolve certain matters but cannot visit their Arbitrators offices. This new format prevents further Court backlogs, in which many couples and families will be waiting months for their issues to be seen to.

During a virtual arbitration session, the Arbitrator will use video-conferencing to facilitate the arbitration process from start to finish, negating the requirement for parties to attend a physical setting.

As this entire process can be completed remotely, individuals do not have to worry about restrictions on travelling or health and safety issues and the impact on the timescales of the case.

All Family Law issues can be dealt with through Virtual Arbitration

As stated previously, as there are limited restrictions to the process, all family law issues can still be dealt with during arbitration. It simply requires both parties to commit to the process in order for it to be successful.

Child matters and arrangements has been in the spotlight during the lockdown, as many families and parents have been unsure on the exact measures and processes they are allowed to undertake to ensure the safety of their children but with arrangements still met and agreed to.

Child arrangement disputes is one of the issues you can deal with during virtual arbitration and with a legal professional to guide the session, you will hopefully be able to come to resolution on any issues that are currently concerning you during this time.

Financial issues and disputes might be at the forefront of some people’s minds at the moment and especially if you’re going through a divorce settlement you might find yourself asking how do you continue this process during lockdown?

These types of matters are worth discussing with family law specialists as they can provide you with the tools and advice on how certain processes and disputes can continue as normal during lockdown to avoid potentially disadvantageous settlements, which might involve property, shares and pensions.

Author Bio

K J Smith Solicitors are specialists in family law, experienced in all matters relating to divorce, civil partnerships, cohabitation disputes and collaborative law.

 

What is the impact of the lockdown on Personal Injury Claims?

As we arrive in 2020, few of us might have expected that COVID-19 will wipe the world as fast as it has done, and that it would have such a serious effect on many.

The lockdown has affected everybody in many different ways across all walks of life. In the world of personal injury COVID-19 has undoubtedly brought about slower progress across the landscape of litigation in general.

While the number of new claimants has slipped around the board, we expect an explosion of claimants that would emerge from the pandemic.

While personal injury cases are still reported and those that were filed before COVID-19 are making significant progress, this scenario is affected by several obstacles.

Personal Injury Lawyers provides some of the ways the COVID-19 could impact personal injury claims:

  1. Delays in medical treatment

It is necessary for us to seek prompt medical attention anytime someone is involved in a car crash or suffers some other form of personal injury. Therefore, it is always important to obey the guidance of those who concern for you, which involves attending all of your follow-up appointments and following them along with diagnoses and procedures as directed by the doctor.

You have a legal responsibility to prevent your losses if you file a personal injury claim, which means doing something that healthcare experts advise to recover or achieve maximum health care improvement. You will also need to have paperwork showing the full magnitude of your injury issues to recover your reasonable and true compensation.

The Coronavirus epidemic has posed a range of problems in terms of medical care for victims of personal injury. Firstly, people are naturally anxious about visiting a doctor who is infected with COVID-19. This can result in them wasting precious consultations and not getting the treatment they need to get onto the road to recovery.

Please note that all the appropriate steps are taken by the open clinics and hospitals to ensure that patients are healthy, and the danger is very small compared to the risk of failure to obey up on the care Protocol.

  1. Restricted access to court cases

Court hearings in all federal courts are put on hold until the pandemic subsides. Non-jury trials were allowed to proceed, at the judge’s discretion, with only attorneys, their clients and extremely important witnesses in a position situation can appear.

 

In some cases, videoconferencing is also used for pretrial hearings and other gatherings. How all that adds up to is that you should face substantial delays in the process, should you lodge a personal injury case.

However, there are drawbacks that video conferencing will not be suitable in every situation. It may also be particularly difficult to use video conferencing in the sense of psychological disorders where the injured party still feels depressed and may not feel comfortable talking about such sensitive issues via a video link.

We can feel awkward doing so at home, during lockout, in household with other family members, kids etc.

  1. Pressure to Settle down Quickly

Personal injury claimants are likely to face greater pressure to resolve their lawsuits due to delays in the trial and stricter finances. With the chance to wait several months for a jury trial, many people will now be tempted to take the money.

Insurance providers are now mindful of this, and would definitely benefit from the situation. An insurer intends to pay out as little as possible on a claim for an accident and give a lowball deal to a patient realizing other people need the money immediately.

Those most seriously affected would-be plaintiffs who have no legal assistance since most are untrained with the procedure or traditional techniques of compensation used to mitigate a lawsuit’s costs.

  1. Insurance compensates lapses:

 

Owing to the deepening recession certain drivers might not keep up with paying their insurance premiums. That may contribute to the lack of evidence that could exacerbate the condition of a victim following a traffic crash.

A rider injured by an uninsured vehicle may not be able to take out insurance from the estate of the driver.

Their only option may be to obtain cover from their insurer in spite of their uninsured motorist scheme

A defendant must keep in mind that their trustee is an unfavourable party in these proceedings and will definitely not resolve a lawsuit without challenge. First-party claims can be as contentious as third-party lawsuits, and assistance from an attorney can be nearly as necessary.

  1. Impact on Employment

COVID-19 has, and will continue to have, impact on the work force. In certain cases, this could help to reduce the value of claimants not only in terms of demand for wage loss but also in terms of knock-on impact.

There will be problems of sick leave, unemployment and other cost-cutting steps to be addressed, such as wage cuts, pay freezes and unpaid leave. It will also require professional evidence to consider the medium to long-term impact on whichever sector of employment a pursuer works in.

Bio-

Mitchell is an experienced personal injury lawyer in Gold Coast. He is a Senior Associate and was admitted to the Queensland Supreme Court in December 2012.

 

Choosing a Mediator for Child Matters during COVID-19

When a child’s parents do not live together, they will decide how the child’s care should be distributed. Child custody disputes may be politically charged, particularly in cases involving divorce or dissolution of a relationship.

However, if parents can put aside their disputes and come to an understanding without interference from the judge, it would be less difficult for those involved.

One choice that helps parents to decide custody of a child without the intervention of the courts is child custody mediation.

Most family law attorneys may claim that alternate dispute resolution (ADR) methods such as Family Law mediation, arbitration, and partnership are more successful than family law lawsuits. Regardless of COVID-19, (ADR ) is the only direct alternative available to others.

Several family courts hold proceedings electronically through Zoom, but they are often unable to settle non-emergent conflicts. As of now, judges are not requiring mediation through Zoom, so attorneys and clients will decide to join.

What Is Mediation?
Most divorced spouses use mediation to help settle problems relating to divorces, such as compensation, property separation, and child custody. In divorce mediation, the spouses hire a neutral third party (the mediator) to help them discuss and resolve their differences. Many divorce mediators are qualified family law lawyers who have received advanced mediation training.

Throughout the area of family law, mediation is an efficient, non-adversarial form of alternate conflict settlement where parties try to settle matters of separation, custody, and control, property distribution, and child care.

Benefits of Mediation

The mediation process is normally private and mediation is usually performed without a trial reporter. As such, parents should talk openly without fear of someone knowing what has been addressed. Mediation is a considerably more cost-effective method for settling custody issues than intervening in protracted lawsuits.

Mediation also tends to reduce the tension or hostility toward parents, since it works on alleviating conflict.

Preparation for Child Custody Mediation

There are several crucial steps to take before you start mediating child custody:
• Try getting professional advice from a lawyer: it’s best to engage in consultation with a good knowledge of your custody rights and obligations.
• Write down detailed daily routines for you and your kids.
• Prepare your plan for custody and visits.
• Keep any appropriate information for your child, including vital medical reports, index cards, and any correspondence from your child.

Reasons to Choose Mediation for Your Family Law Matter

1. Control

Control and certainty appear to elude us all, as we begin to experience an unpredictable return to what we know as “natural” before. Unlike the traditional litigation method, the settlement process now helps parties to influence the outcome of their dispute – and not, ideally, in the immediate future at an undetermined date.

If the parties choose the mediation process, the parties or their representatives decide on a mediator by mutual consent. The mediator is an impartial facilitator with no power to select a settlement or decide on any part of the situation. The mediator is there to foster discussion and to help the parties overcome.

2. Creativity

Mediation gives the parties the ability to be creative when a settlement is reached, while the court may be limited in its powers. The innovative value of mediation is especially evident now in the middle of the novel coronavirus pandemic which has put a screeching halt to all but usual court operations.

3. Confidentiality

The mediation process is private, confidential, and entirely voluntary, meaning a group or mediator may cancel it at any time. Individuals who want to mediate in their family law issues that never have to reach a courtroom or turn over their cases before a judge, a virtual outsider, which has little actual everyday experience about their family’s structure.

In these uncertain times, the non-adversarial mediation process will allow the parties to sit down and have tough discussions about what life will be like when they agree to split their households.

This shared effort to accept communication with a mutual objective of getting on with each other’s lives will be crucial as the wages and lifestyles of the participants may be deeply changed, and also their own emotional and physical well-being.

Bio-

You should contact Mediations Australia if you are interested in learning more about the mediation process and how it can help you overcome your family problem amid COVID-19. We believe that almost anything relating to family law can be settled by our proven family law mediation process.

Tips For Learning The Skill Of Small Talk -The Way To Connect With Others

Life’s  upheavals  bring change which may necessitate  finding a new set of friends.  One can have just gotten through a divorce or relocated for a job. Small talk is the way to establishing connections with others.  You may feel like a nine-year old kid again on the first day at a new school.

It can be challenging to make small talk. Individuals have avoided parties and gatherings because the thought of engaging in this is scary. Small talk is an important skill – whether on the social scene or in networking. It enables one to make crucial contacts in their field. Small talk is necessary to establish a relationship which can result in a sale or a regular client.

Small talk starts out on the surface. You are both fishing around initially to discover a common link – an interest or activity. It might be the stage of life you are currently in – getting a divorce, or being parents to a toddler, etc. When the common link is found, then a portal opens to a deeper place of communication. You took the plunge and are now having a fulfilling conversation.

There are ways to make small talk less painful and more spontaneous. Attend an event. You have an instant topic of conversation – the concert, rugby match, school play or whatever it is. A co-worker who loathes small talk joined several MeetUp.com groups. The initial conversations are focused on the specific purpose of the group (hiking, books, travel). She can handle talking about the subject and picking up tips from the other members.

At a party, a good ice breaker is to ask how a person knows the hosts. You may find out that you both have things in common. Other sure topics to get things started, is to inquire about pets/children/grandchildren/holidays.

I comment on a person’s unique jewellery or article of clothing. This often leads to “I bought it in India” and we go on from there. Even something as banal as the weather can start an involved conversation on sports. I talk about how weather impacts my running and they may talk about skiing.

An acquaintance feels small talk can be superficial. She does not like it when strangers at a gathering, ask her questions. She feels this is an invasion of her privacy. People may ask questions to loosen your tongue. These individuals are merely trying learn a little bit about Rose. If she would volunteer information first, then it would not seem like an interrogation. Rose could turn the table around and ask them questions, thus not feeling on the spot. People have different levels of what they consider is private. An introvert like Rose, finds it more challenging to open up about their life.

In this digital world, small talk seems to have disappeared. Texting gets right to the point, by-passing the nuances which are picked up when being face-to-face. When in person, if one skips small talk and communicates in the digital style, it would be perceived as too abrupt.

Small talk takes practice, like other things in life. One does not pick up a violin and play it like a virtuoso on the first try. Nor be proficient at getting goals when learning football. Start in little increments. Talk to a person standing in the queue at the grocers. Chat with a sales clerk. Work up to more challenging encounters, such as at a wedding reception or Bar Mitzva celebration. I have made close, life-long friends by starting with small talk.

I am also a dating consultant and release weekly podcasts.     datingcoach.coach

Creative Ways To Date During Corona Virus

It is more challenging to date during the Corona Virus. Venues you usually pop into, may be closed during this global shutdown. Streets are deserted. Stores are shuttered. It feels like one is a character in a sci-fi film or waiting for the zombie apocalypse to begin. This time period is not the ideal circumstance to start a new dating relationship.

The same rules apply as they did before the virus. Particularly for women, if you do not know someone well, then do not invite them to your place. Be safe. If you break off the relationship, better for them not to know where you live. Also, you do not want to get into a tricky situation where your date thinks you are on the menu.

There are plenty of cafes and coffee shops which have lattes and luscious pastries for take away. There is often a bench nearby, where you both can sit down and get to know each other while enjoying your treats. One grocery store which sells lattes, has concrete benches in front. I meet up with a different friend from time to time. We are not in a crowd and are keeping the recommended social distance in this pandemic. This is where I planned to have my first date with a new guy.

Various restaurants are serving their tantalizing food in to go containers. Pick up your favourite food and enjoy it al fresco with the warmer weather. London, for example, has many parks where one can grab a bench and eat your lunch. Have an in-depth conversation over food you just purchased at the deli.

When you have gotten to know someone, then have them over to catch up on films you missed at the cinema or a marathon session watching a boxed set of DVDs. Feel free to invite several friends.  You may want to play board games during this stay-at-home pandemic. Before the shutdown of our city, people were coming into the bookstore where I work and stocking up on puzzles.

Be outside on your dates. Go hiking, mountain climbing, skating, kayaking. A long walk provides the opportunity to learn more about your date. If you have dogs, plan on walking them together. Go for a drive in the country and unpack your picnic lunch out in nature.

Do an activity together. Pick a theme such as cooking Italian pasta, making tiramisu and watching an Italian film.  The point is to be creative while following the rules of where you live during this corona virus outbreak.

Stay away from a crowd and have fun with your date. Going out with another couple is fine. Skip parties and gatherings.  Keep hand sanitizer with you. Stay clear of people who are coughing.  This is the time to avoid a one-night stand and possibly a goodnight kiss. I used to be a school nurse and was around viruses, strep throat, etc. and did not get sick. Taking precautions such as good handwashing, getting enough sleep, eating a healthy diet reduces the chance of catching anything. Manuka honey is anti-viral and I take a teaspoon every day.

Continue dating during this time. Be creative where to go and how to have fun.

Tips On Dating For Introverts

Going on dates can be intimidating for the introvert. It is easier to stay at home and watch romantic films than go meet potential dating partners.  Fear can stop people. Fear of getting tongue tied or sounding stupid can keep individuals from venturing out of their flat. There are ways to have dates and be in one’s comfort zone.

Think about going out in a group.

You can laugh and have fun without the pressure of carrying on a conversation solo.  Members of the group all contribute comments. There is less of a feeling of being judged, when in a group setting, as opposed to only being the two of you. If you hit it off with someone, a private conversation is still an option.

If a person seems interested in you, it is less nerve-wracking to issue an invitation to a group activity. Say, “A bunch of us are going to the Greek Festival on Saturday. The food and music will be great – want to join us?”

Go where there is a community table.

I do this in several coffee shops and have talked to interesting people. One coffee shop is open late with led lighting which changes colour. It has DJ training classes which ensures edgy music and a lively vibe.  I write in this place and encounter creative types like me.

Spend time with outgoing friends.

They will talk to others and draw people to your group. You can meet the individuals who come over for a chat. A potential date may be on the shy side too, and find talking to you in your group a bit less of a chance for rejection.  Various podcasts give tips on how to meet people when by yourself or in a group.

Practice making connections. 

Talk to people who are not potential dates – grannies, kids, a parent. This is like training wheels when learning how to ride a bike. Practice engaging others in conversation – the person behind you in the queue at the cashiers. I talk to people during the long wait at the post office. It makes the time pass quickly and the parting winks are nice.

Engage in conversation to those around you.

It will lead into talking to those who could be interesting to date. You are not targeting them specifically, when you talk to everyone.  I chatted to people in a queue for a festival.  One of them asked me out and we got engaged ten months later. One never knows.

Introverts can give off the wrong non-verbal message that they are not interested.

An introvert may turn away or avoid eye contact even though they are hearing wedding bells in their head. This is a deterrent for the other individual to pursue any more contact with the introvert. Force yourself to maintain eye contact. Turn towards the potential date. If you freeze and your brain cannot form a sentence, at least smile and nod.  Anything to show interest and prevent them from misunderstanding your feelings and walking away.

Connecting with those you are interested in as a date, is a skill.

One does not learn how to play the violin overnight, so do not expect to be dazzling the first few times you attempt to meet people to date.  Consider making friends with a variety of people.  By doing this, an organic relationship can develop into a lifelong partnership.

Originally published in The Divorce Magazine  thedivorcemagazine.co.uk

Online Marketing Strategies for Legal Professionals

Online marketing has risen in prominence over the past 15 years and is now one of the most important marketing channels for any business, but with so many options; from search engines and email marketing to video and social media, it can be difficult to know where to start.  

Did you know that 96% of people seeking legal advice use a search engine to find legal information? This statistic highlights the importance of being found online, making online marketing an essential part of any law firms marketing strategy.  

Before you begin to plan and execute your online marketing strategy it is important to understand some of the core principals of marketing as these principles can be applied to whatever marketing strategy you choose.  

Core Marketing Principals 

Thought Leadership 

Thought leadership involves ensuring that any content you publish, whether that is a blog, social media post or email newsletter, revolves around establishing yourself as an industry expert and an authority in your professional field, which is of the highest importance given the competitiveness of the legal sector. 

An Integrated Approach 

This is key for any type of business, but is especially important when marketing a law firm. An integrated approach means ensuring that your company ideology and tone of voice is consistent across all your marketing activities. This may seem obvious but can often be difficult to maintain, especially across both online and offline marketing channels. If your message is consistent across everything you do, it’s much easier for the customer to identify with your brand.  

Be Intelligent and Strategic 

All marketing activities should have a clear focus and as a law firm you should understand your customers and competitive landscape before undertaking any online marketing. It is also beneficial to set specific goals for your marketing efforts to ensure you aren’t spending your marketing budget without a clear objective of what you are trying to achieve. 

Measurement 

Once you have a specific goal in mind it is essential to have a method of measuring that goal. Effective measurement of a campaign can help highlight the obstacles that may be preventing success. This is often the most difficult part, especially for law firms who are often always occupied with other business activities and various clients.     

Digital Marketing Strategies 

Now that you understand the core marketing principals, you can start to identify which online marketing channels to use, such as PPC, SEO, and social media. It’s important to understand that any marketing campaign is only as effective as the website you are pointing them to. 

Website Development 

Successful online marketing stems from a professional website as that is what potential clients will see if your marketing is successful. You never get a second chance to make a first impression, as 75% of people judge a firm’s credibility based on their website design. 

User experience is key to delivering online enquiries so you really have to think about what type of customer you are trying to attract and what their journey should look like as they browse through the website. 

Keep your content useful and straight to the point and provide users with specific call-to-actions to encourage them to make an enquiry or ask a question. 47% of consumers expect a website to load in 3 seconds or under so make sure your website is quick to load and works consistently across all device types (desktop computers, mobile phones and tablet devices for example).  

Search Engine Optimisation (SEO) 

Once you have a professional website, the next step is ensuring that your target audience can find it via search engines such as Google and Bing. Organic search engine traffic is usually the highest traffic source to a company’s website and tends to deliver the best Return on Investment (ROI) from any online marketing channel.  

Search Engine Optimisation (SEO) is the process of optimising your website to appear in the search engines for relevant keywords that will drive traffic to your website. When SEO is done correctly, it will help you to achieve higher rankings, more website traffic and an increase in online enquiries. 

SEO is divided into two main parts – On Page SEO and Off Page SEO. On page SEO is the art of improving your website by optimising certain areas of the website code and most importantly, your content for relevant keywords you wish to rank for 

Off page SEO often refers to the process of increasing the number of websites that link to yours. Each link back to your website is seen as an endorsement in the eyes of the search engines and can help to rank your site much higher than your competitors. Quality is far more important than quantity, so rather than trying to obtain as many links as you can, try and earn industry related links from credible sources by producing and sharing great content that is worth linking to.  

Pay-Per-Click Advertising (PPC) 

Whilst it can take a little time to build up your website’s authority through SEO, Pay-Per-Click (PPC) advertising can give you instant results and allows you to target a more specific audience. 

PPC advertising through platforms such as Google Ads and Microsoft Advertising works on an auction based system where businesses bid on different keywords in an attempt to gain the top ad position.  PPC, however, isn’t based on bid alone and it is important that your website content, campaign keywords and adverts are highly relevant to the user if you want to obtain the top ad spot. One of the biggest advantages of PPC over SEO is that you have more control over the type of user you are targeting and when/where they see your adverts.  

Everything from geographic location, gender, age and interests can be defined for your target audience, as well as what time of day your campaigns run and on which devices, meaning that you can have a highly targeted campaign focused around your ideal potential customer.  

If executed correctly, PPC advertising can help your firm gain a competitive edge and for the legal sector this can be a huge advantage given the competitive nature of this industry 

Social Media 

Social media marketing can be highly effective for 2 main reasons – creating brand awareness and engaging your target audience. A strong presence on social media can put your brand in front of the right people at the right time and allows you to build a voice which you can use to sell yourself to potential clients. 

As well as this, people are using social media more to consume content and engage with businesses that they may want to work with or buy from. Therefore, having a strong social media presence allows you to communicate with potential customers  directly and convert them into prospects. 

Summary 

Hopefully this article gives you an insight into the different types of online marketing channels and gets you thinking about which one is right for your business. There is no right or wrong answer in terms of which strategy to choose, as the decision has to be based on your overall business objectives and what you are hoping to achieve.  

As with all forms of online marketing, the process can often be a lengthy and technical one so if you don’t have the knowledge, expertise or the capacity to carry out these strategies within your firm, using an experienced agency can make the whole process far easier and much more successful.    

Author Bio
Peter Scully is the Marketing Director at Digital Chambers, an agency specialising in online marketing for the legal sector.   

Peter has worked in Digital Marketing for the past 15 years and has been helping law firms to grow since 2011. With a keen interest in UK law, Peter writes weekly legal blogs for clients and has built good relationships with a number of key legal publications.  

For more information or to arrange a free online marketing review, please contact Peter on 0800 689 4694 or email pete@digitalchambers.co.uk 

Saving Money Using the 30 Day Rule

There are those times that you might just be browsing and see a beautiful dress or cute shoes. Or maybe you were on Facebook and saw a deal that seems too good to ignore. In such circumstances, it is very tempting to make an impulse purchase. The extent to which impulse purchases hurts a person’s budget depends on how frequently they make impulse purchases, their income, and monthly expenses, and the cost of the items that they buy.

If your budget gives you room for impulsive buying, then you have nothing to worry about. However, if you are looking for ways to control your impulsive buying so that you can use the money on other things such as paying down a bad debt or saving for something that you really need. In such a situation, the 30-day rule will be an excellent budgeting tool.

What Is The 30 Day Rule?

The 30-day rule is a method of saving money by delaying your gratification. This money-saving technique is meant to help a person make better spending decisions by stopping them from impulse buying. When using this technique, a person is needed to be rational when they feel the urge to spend.

When using this rule, you are required to give yourself at least 30 days before making a purchase, even if you have enough savings to buy it.

How It Works

It can be tempting to buy an item right away, especially if a salesperson tells you that it is a limited edition or a limited stock. On the other hand, when using the 30-day rule, you will be required to follow the steps below before purchasing the item.

  • Please take note of the item, for instance, its cost, specifications, details then leave the store. You should also add the date that you found that item and indicate if the store was offering a discount on it.
  • After noting all the details about the item, place the note where you can see it when you get home.
  • For the next 30 days, think if you need that item and if it is worth the price,
  • Look for alternatives to those products and find out if there are better deals in other stores.

If you still need the item after the 30 days, you can go ahead and purchase it. When buying it, you are only required to purchase it with your debit account or cash. You are prohibited from using your credit card unless the cars have a good deal such as mileage points or zero interest. If you use a credit card to make the purchase, you should be able to repay the amount with each billing cycle.

How to Stop Impulse Buying

To curb impulse buying, you should avoid shopping when you are stressed or angry. Most people do unhealthy things when they are angry, to make themselves feel better. Shopping is one of those things, and it can get expensive or out of control. You can find healthier hobbies such as yoga whenever you feel angry instead of going shopping.

Do not fall for checkout lane or “end caps” on items. An end cap in retail marketing is the display on products that stores want buyers to purchase on impulse. You now know better and can avoid that.

You should also avoid going shopping with shopaholics. If you have friends that have the habit of impulse buying, it can be easy for them to convince you that the 5 pairs of shoes and 7 dresses that you tried on looks perfect on you and you should buy all of them. A little flattery will go all the way, therefore, if you have to shop socially, consider bringing friends who have frugal spending habits.

It is also recommended that you use cash instead of credit cards. Credit cards give a person an easy way to buy things on impulse. These cards charge high-interest rates. Therefore you should limit yourself to buying items only using cash. Also, buy items that have a return policy. This is because after purchasing an item, you could rethink your decision and find yourself wanting to return it.

In Addition to the 30-Day Rule, Here Are Other Ways on How to Save Money In U.K

  1. Practice the 24-Hour Rule.

This is like the 30-day saving challenge, but it is used in less expensive purchases. In this rule, you are required to wait for 24 hours to 42 hours before making a purchase. This will help you to differentiate between a want and a need.

  1. Do Not Spend Too Much Entertaining Your Kids

Most young children can be entertained cheaply. You can play with them, plant a garden, play in the backyard, teach them how to ride a bike, or buy them a newspaper and let them be creative with it. Have in mind that a child prefers to spend quality time with you other than getting them stuff and you will have more money to save.

  1. Invite Your Friends to Come Over Instead of Going Out

Going out with your friends can destroy your entertainment and food budget at a go. No matter the circumstance, it would be cheaper to invite your friends over and find ways of entertaining yourself. After inviting your friends over, you can choose activities such as playing cards, watching movies, sitting around the fire pit, or other activities that can save you money.

  1. Lower Utility Bills

Evaluate if you are conserving and utilizing your utilities to the maximum. Some tips such as unplugging appliances that are not in use, insulating your windows, or turning off the faucet when brushing your teeth can be simple ways of lowering your utility bills.

  1. Avoid Fast Food and Convenience Foods

Instead of getting pre-packaged dinner or eating fast food, you can make simple and healthy food at home that you can carry with you. An hour’s worth of preparing the meal can end up saving you a lot in the long run. In cases where you have to dine out, maximise your savings using coupons or reward credit cards that give you a bonus for spending in a restaurant.

Article is written by Loanza  blog.loanza.co.uk/

3 Tips that Make Budget-Friendly Birthday Parties Easier for Parents

Kids look forward to celebrating their birthday party every year. If you are a parent who is working with a tight budget, however, you may not be looking forward to the costs of hosting a party in your home. Thankfully, putting together an unforgettable home birthday celebration for your child doesn’t have to cost a fortune if you use these budget-friendly tips.   

Keep Kids Busy without Worrying About Extra Expenses  

The whole point of a birthday party is to celebrate and have fun, so make sure you incorporate some savings-savvy party activities into your plans. Hosting a sleepover can offer some super creative ways to entertain all of your little guests, especially when you can put together a backyard stargazing party that’s practically free and oh so much fun! You can use a telescope you already own or have kids build their own. Party guests will be so excited to check out the stars at night, and backyard astronomy lessons are educational as well.

Looking for more activity ideas for a fun birthday bash? Check out these budget-friendly ideas, like a treasure hunt or a chance to stomp on balloons. Just be conscientious of any children who may have sensory processing issues, and try to have alternate games set up for them. Bingo and rubber duck hunts are autism-friendly activity options if you want your celebration to be inclusive of children who have special needs.  

Feed Those Hungry Party Guests without Going Over Budget  

To keep kids from getting cranky, you will want to have few snacks and beverages available. If you plan on hosting your children’s friends for a full meal, try to plan a menu that won’t break the bank but will still satisfy picky eaters. A hot dog bar is a fun way to fill those tummies, or you could go with pizza for a super easy crowd pleaser. Want to avoid the costs of a big meal? Schedule your party between mealtimes. Time is important when you have a super-slim food budget, so aim to have your event happen between 2 p.m. and 5 p.m.

Of course, no birthday bash is complete without a cake. Instead of overspending at a gourmet bakery, go to your local grocery store and give a plain cake an easy makeover that will wow everyone. Cakes from grocery stores are less expensive, and you don’t need to worry about ordering ahead. Simply scrape off any typical store decor, and replace it with your kid’s favorite candy or cereal.  

Plan Your Party Around a Theme to Make Decorating Simple  

Planning out activities and food options will help you keep party costs under control. You can make planning easier by coming up with a fun theme as well. Some of the most popular party themes let you get as fancy or basic as you want, and you can create most of these pulled-together parties for minimal costs.

If your child loves nature, consider a magical enchanted forest theme, and use free decor, like pine cones and tree branches, to spruce up your party space. You can even use pine cones for additional craft activities, which can save you even more. Complete the look and functionality of any birthday party theme by picking up supplies to match too. You can shop online for inexpensive party kits that come with everything you need to add the finishing touches to your celebration. From fun party plates to eco-friendly straws, you’ll have all of your birthday party bases covered.   

By celebrating your child’s birthday at home, you’re already on the right track to stay within your budget. Make sure you save even more, and still keep everyone having fun, by using the handy party-planning tips above. After all, your guests will care much more about the memories they make than they will about how much you spend on the party itself.

This article was written by Natalie Jones of homeownerbliss.info

Valentine’s Day When Single

Valentine’s Day can be like rubbing salt into a raw wound when going through divorce. People are coupled up and you may be the odd man out on this holiday. Others who are exiting a toxic marriage, may feel relief not spending it with a nasty person. There are different facets to Valentine’s Day besides romance.  One is platonic friendships, and many of us exchange cards with our pals.  Instead of mourning the void that comes with a loss of a partner, focus on celebrating Valentine’s Day in a new way with different people.

Flip the holiday around. Change the evening celebration to one at the beginning of the day, as there are less people in pairs. Get together with friends for a morning cappuccino with a pastry or for lunch. If your social circle is comprised mainly of married folks, catching up at a bakery is doable since it would not interfere with their dinner plans. When celebrating Valentine’s Day mid-morning, there is less pressure to feel one needs a date for this occasion.

Extroverts may want to be around others, yet not be ready to start dating. This can be accomplished by sitting at the communal table in coffee shops and cafes. One man claims he turns down holiday invitations because he has so much fun at these communal tables which are like “one big party.” MeetUp.com has groups for various interests and some of these gatherings are scheduled on holidays. Singles can participate in activities or dine with interesting companions. My divorced friend enjoys spending Valentine’s evening with the singles group at her church. They have events on some holidays and sponsor Friday Movie Night. Check around to see if you can join others on this night.

Do your celebrating on the job. Organize a pot luck, or bring in a fabulous treat to make the day more festive. I work part-time at an elementary school and it is party time on Valentine’s Day. The children’s excitement is contagious. Volunteering at their Valentine’s dances is a fun evening without a date. Some people request to work on holidays and enjoy spending it with co-workers instead of being alone.

Children can be a great distraction from thoughts of no longer having a spouse on this holiday. After my divorce, my sons and I would go to an Indian restaurant for dinner. One divorced friend gave a Valentine’s Day party for her young son and his classmates. She said it was the best time that she ever had on that holiday. The kids were hilarious, food was great and she was kept extremely busy. Consider planning some distractions on Valentine’s Day.

Escape Valentine’s Day by having an adventure abroad. When my marriage was falling apart, my mother and I took a tour to Ireland in February. We had a wee bit of snow, but I was thankful to avoid that holiday by being away. Maybe lounging by the pool in the tropics is more your style. Talk to your travel agent or go online to find some great travel deals.

A variation on this travel theme is to volunteer in another part of the world. Organizations, such as Earth Watch, can arrange for one to assist researchers etc., in an exotic locale. There are also plenty of opportunities right at home to help others and boost your self-worth. I volunteer weekly for an animal rescue group and this year it falls on Valentine’s Day. I will be feeling great after cuddling homeless kitties and being the recipient of their unconditional love.  Consider helping out on that day with a charity that grabs your interest.

Determine if you would rather hide away or go out on the town. Either way is fine. For the first option, some individuals have gotten a boxed set of DVDs or enticing novels and stayed home. If cooking for one is depressing, then plan ahead and buy some delicious take away or a decadent dessert. Pamper yourself, such as having a spa night with a facial or doing a fitness routine. Find an enjoyable activity.

A millennial who is now single, told me of course he is going out on Valentine’s Day. Although he is no longer part of a couple, he states there is no way he would sit home. This fellow does not have any definite plans, but is confident he will find something going on in Boston. Other millennials were vague and said they would wait and see what their friends were up to on Valentine’s evening. The millennials were going to decide what to do at the last minute and the Baby Boomers were planning things way ahead of time, even if it is to stay home.

If you are feeling lonely around this holiday during divorce, consider adopting or fostering an animal. Having four feline housemates, helps make Valentine’s Day more lively, now that I have an Empty Nest.  Whether or not you decide to celebrated Valentine’s Day – it is only one day out of the year.

Originally published in Divorce Force  online magazine   www.divorceforce.com/

 

 

 

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Reminder: You Can’t Buy Your Children’s Love

It’s a common scenario. Parents get separated or divorced and have joint custody of their kids. One of the parents then starts showering the kids with extravagant gifts from concert tickets and designer clothes to electronics and trips to fun or exotic places. They might let the kids get away with everything, allowing them to stay up late, eat anything they want and enjoy as much screen time as they like.

If you’re guilty of any of these, it’s time to reconsider your behavior.

Divorce is often hard on everyone involved and where you used to enjoy unlimited access to your kids, you now find yourself co-parenting and splitting the time you spend with them with your ex. This can trigger feelings of insecurity tempting you to try to buy your kids’ affection.

Maybe you are still reeling from the divorce and your unresolved feelings are driving you to upstage your ex-spouse in the gift-giving arena. Or perhaps you feel guilty about putting your kids through the trauma of divorce and so you try to buy their love. On the other hand, you might genuinely care for your children and want to spoil them once in a while, especially if you don’t get to see them that often.

Regardless of the reason, you need to stop and reevaluate your actions. Your quest to be known as the favorite parent or secure your children’s favor might be doing more harm than good. An all too common parenting mistake is giving into your kid’s every whim. While it might seem like a sure way of getting into their good books, in reality, you’re just creating entitled kids. Similarly, giving your children extravagant gifts isn’t bad, but you should never do it to compensate for your poor parenting. Otherwise, your kids might come to equate love with “things”.

Making things right

Recognizing that you’ve fallen into a common parenting pitfall is the first step towards changing things for the better.

You can’t buy your kid’s love but you can foster it. Here’s how you can do that:

  • Speak your kid’s love language.

Love can be expressed and received in different ways. Discovering and speaking your kid’s primary love language ensures that they feel loved and allows both of you to build and reap the rewards of a fulfilling relationship.

  • Put their needs first.

In the wake of a divorce, it’s easy to lose sight of your children’s needs. But no matter how confused, angry or hurt you feel, you shouldn’t turn the situation into a competition for your kid’s affections. It’s important to learn how to meet not only their physical but also their emotional needs.

  • Don’t be afraid to discipline them.

You might want your kids to consider you the fun parent so you hold back on disciplining them. However, letting them get away with all kinds of behavior isn’t love. Kids need consistency and structure to thrive so don’t be afraid to lay some ground rules and set consequences.

To get true love from your kids, you need to treat them well and spend time building a healthy lasting relationship with them. Get to really know them and be the best parent you can be. Remember that while presents are nice, what your children really want is your time and attention. These stand the test of time and are way more valuable than any possessions you can get them.

Author of this article, Tyler Jacobson, enjoys going to the mountains near his home in Draper, Utah to connect with his wife and children through camping, hiking, and quality time together. When he isn’t rebooting in the outdoors, he shares his fatherly experiences with the world through writing and creative work. Tyler shares the ups and downs of family life and the solutions he’s found through lengthy research and involvement in the industry and his own experiences to help parents everywhere. Follow Tyler on: Twitter

Practical Changes to Make Your Home Healthier and More Environment-Friendly

A house is easily made into a home with attention to details. Those details that make a home a reality can range from design aspects to functional changes that are better for your health and the environment. If you are looking to make your house better suit your overall health and well-being while also benefitting the planet, then here are some tips for you.

A Space to Call Your Own  

A routine practice of meditation, rest, and quiet is a staple to a well-balanced life and mental health. Giving yourself some space to unwind, detach from electronics, and recuperate is one of the best gifts you can give yourself. If you have space, turn an unused bedroom or a den into your own little oasis. That oasis can look like a reading room, a place for you to do your hobbies, or a place for you to simply be alone and recharge.

Focusing on the Floor 

We hear a lot about the air quality outdoors and its effects on our health, but it is the indoor air quality that often gets overlooked. While carpet in a house can make the house seem more comfortable and cozy, it also holds allergens, dust, bacteria, and other pollutants. While there are options to routinely treat the carpet or install more natural options, you may be better served to remove carpet throughout your home to ensure improvement in your health.

A Color Refresh 

An inexpensive way to make any room fresher and appeal to your visual senses is to change the color. Adding a fresh coat of paint with a color that complements the room can dramatically change not only how it looks but how you feel. Whether you are renovating or updating, it’s important to consider the prior condition of the walls and whether lead paint was used.

The older your home, the more likely it is that lead paint was used on the walls. In order to reduce contamination in your home, for the health of you and your family, you should hire an EPA-certified contractor to take the right precautions when performing work in your house. When at all possible, make sure any updates you do to your home create a wonderful end product but also are safe for you, your family, and the environment.

Green Gardening 

The exterior of your home should be viewed as an extension of your interior living space. It’s a place to unwind on spring and summer days, for kids to play, to entertain, and to breathe in the fresh air. This year, invest in your exterior space. Below are some ways you can make some exterior improvements that will be good for you and the environment.

  • Add some comfortable seating.
  • Install no water or low-water landscaping by utilizing succulents, perennials, and rocks to design your exterior space.
  • Introduce native plants that will take to the soil and don’t require a ton of upkeep.
  • Use recycled brick, furniture, and stone to give your home that personal touch.

A Place to Lay Your Head 

Each room is important, but special attention should be given to the bedroom. You spend a large portion of your life sleeping, and it is worthwhile to invest in the quality of sleep you get each night. Consider updating the paint, bedding, floors, and aesthetics of your room. Spend time decluttering the space and making it open and stress-free. You will reap mental and physical benefits from focusing on improving your sleep space.

Make your house a home by paying some special attention to the details. While there are common renovations and design improvements you can make to have a beautiful home, you can take it one step further by ensuring every choice is rooted in improving the mental and physical well-being of your family. While you’re at it, make some environmentally-friendly changes that can also make your life easier in the long run.

Article written by Natalie Jones  Homeownerbliss.info

First Dates – What To Do And When To Bail

First dates can be tricky.  What is expected. When to bail. The first of these two podcasts gives information about how to get ready and act on a first date. Advice given by Wendi Schuller and Daniel Isle Skye on a new dating series with podcasts released every week on datingcoach.coach

3rd podcast  First Date   podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/dating-coach/id1492513803

Dating disasters.  Wendi and Daniel share dates which did not work out and how to avoid these blunders.

4th episode Bad Dates  podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/dating-coach/id1492513803

Navigating a Teenager’s Bad Behavior Learned From The Ex’s House

When a marriage ends in divorce, co-parenting is the best way to ensure that your teen’s needs are met. It’s great when a teenager can spend time with both parents, with both of them playing an active part in their child’s life. 

In an ideal world, both you and your ex would collaborate in raising your teen, discussing issues and agreeing on the best way forward. However, in real life, divorce is messy and joint custody arrangements can be stressful, especially if you’re dealing with a vindictive, irresponsible ex. Co-parenting can also be difficult if both you and your ex-spouse are not on good terms. 

One problem that can arise in such a situation is when both you and your ex fail to co-parent as a team. Your children need consistent guidelines and routines to thrive and nowhere is this more important than when disciplining them. Having different ideas on discipline results in your teen being allowed to act one way at your ex’s house or even getting away with certain behavior that you might not agree with. Sometimes they can even pick up bad habits from the ex. 

Needless to say, this can throw a spanner in the works if you’ve been trying to establish certain rules and consequences with your teen. Here’s how you can deal with the problem before it becomes deeply entrenched. 

Try and improve communication with your co-parent. 

Successful co-parenting is only possible when there’s clear, consistent communication between you and your ex. No matter how acrimonious the divorce was, keep your feelings about it separate from those of your co-parenting relationship. Be respectful and let conversations between the two of you focus on your teen and what’s best for them. 

Communicate how you feel about your ex allowing your teen to get away with certain things and listen to their side of the story. Maybe what happened was a misunderstanding that can be easily cleared up or maybe it’s a sign of lazy boundary-setting and discipline on the part of your ex. You won’t know until you talk to them. 

Get on the same page about discipline. 

It’s important for both you and your ex to get on the same page about disciplining your teen. Consistency from both of you helps your teen avoid confusion and also ensures that they can’t play you against each other. 

Discuss this with your ex and outline what you both think should be healthy rules and guidelines as well as effective consequences especially around issues like curfews, homework, hanging out with friends and any off-limit activities. While the rules don’t have to be exactly the same in both households, they should be similar enough to provide consistency. 

Don’t bad mouth your ex. 

Whatever happens, don’t ever bad mouth your ex to your teen. You need to remember that your ex-spouse is still their parent and they love them regardless of what happened between the two of you. Always speak respectfully about them and find other ways to vent your feelings e.g. talking to your friend or therapist. 

Call in professional help. 

If you’ve tried addressing the issue with your ex-spouse and they refuse to stop enabling your teen’s behavior, maybe it’s time to get some professional help. While the courts won’t interfere with some decisions, they can still step in when major issues are involved e.g. allowing your teen to get away with underage drinking and other kinds of risky behavior.  

Another option to consider is family therapy. This route gets everyone involved in expressing themselves and working towards a solution together with a neutral mediator.  

If these tactics don’t work, you might consider sending your teen to a therapeutic treatment center for troubled teens. where they can receive dedicated help from qualified professionals in a supportive environment to get his behavior back on track. 

Sticking to your guns and instilling discipline in your teen might not make you the fun parent, but it will ensure your teen grows up to become a responsible adult.  

Author of this article, Tyler Jacobson, enjoys going to the mountains near his home in Draper, Utah to connect with his wife and children through camping, hiking, and quality time together. When he isn’t rebooting in the outdoors, he shares his fatherly experiences with the world through writing and creative work. Tyler shares the ups and downs of family life and the solutions he’s found through lengthy research and involvement in the industry and his own experiences to help parents everywhere. Follow Tyler on: Twitter

Single Moms – Tips To Learning To Read Your Boys’ Emotions

Bringing up kids together with a spouse is one thing, raising a son as a single mom is another. Boys aren’t known to be very emotionally expressive and going through a divorce can make them even more reticent. The lack of a male role model or influence can further complicate things, leaving your son confused as to how to act and express his emotions. As the mom, it’s up to you to learn to read and interpret your son’s emotions.

Unfortunately, society teaches boys and men that they can’t have or express certain emotions. Expressing emotions like loneliness, fear or sadness is often considered feminine and is seen as a sign of weakness. So often these feelings come out as anger and aggression- the emotions that are seen as socially acceptable for boys and men to express.

It’s not uncommon for kids who have been through a divorce to experience a wide range of feelings from anger to anxiety and loneliness. Add adolescence to the picture and you have a young man with a cauldron of emotions churning through him with no socially acceptable way to express them. Without proper guidance to find healthy emotional outlets, he might suppress his feelings or start acting out.

Research has shown that emotional suppression has negative outcomes on children and can lead to depression in teenagers, anxiety disorder, and poor sleeping patterns, among other issues. Acting out, on the other hand, can put your son at risk of substance abuse, disciplinary issues and even run-ins with the law. It is, therefore, crucial for you to help your son find healthy ways to express his emotions.

Interpreting Your Son’s Emotions

Boys may not be adept at expressing their feelings but with a little observation, you can learn to read and interpret them.

Your son may convert stereotypically feminine feelings like vulnerability, nervousness or sadness into pride or anger which are more socially acceptable for boys to experience. He might even cover up these feelings with nonchalance. For instance, if he’s about to take a major exam, he might cover his nervousness with indifference. Alternatively, if he’s feeling fearful or anxious in a certain situation, he might lash out in anger to hide his true feelings.

Suppressed emotions may also leak out in the form of physical ailments. For example, if you might notice that your son regularly complains of headaches or stomach aches when he’s anxious or nervous e.g. before an exam, before playing in a major game, etc.

Helping Your Son To Express Himself

Here’s how you can teach your son to be more emotionally expressive:

  • Model emotional expression. If your son sees you showing a variety of emotions, he’ll become comfortable embracing all his feelings. So let him see you happy, anxious, sad and everything in between. Seeing how you manage these emotions will also teach him how to regulate his.
  • Listen to him. Learn to give your son your complete attention whenever he chooses to express his feelings. Don’t rush to give your opinion, advice or solutions, just listen without judgment to what he’s saying. Seeing you pay attention and take him seriously will encourage him to open up more.
  • Find male role models. Since you’re divorced, your son isn’t likely to see his father every day even if you’re on good terms. This means that he needs strong father figures in his life to mentor him. The male role model could be an uncle, a pastor, counselor, or coach.
  • Teach him healthy coping mechanisms for negative emotions. Left unchecked, negative emotions can wreak havoc in your son’s life. Let him understand that while it’s okay to experience anger, frustration, grief, sadness, discouragement and a host of other such emotions, he’s still responsible for his behavior. Help him find healthy ways to purge these feelings either through physical exertion e.g. playing sports, going to the gym, taking a walk or through creative outlets like music, art or journaling.

In order for boys to grow into well-adjusted men with rich emotional lives and deep connections with others, they have to be taught to embrace their emotions as well as learn to express them in healthy ways.

Author of this article, Tyler Jacobson, enjoys going to the mountains near his home in Draper, Utah to connect with his wife and children through camping, hiking, and quality time together. When he isn’t rebooting in the outdoors, he shares his fatherly experiences with the world through writing and creative work. Tyler shares the ups and downs of family life and the solutions he’s found through lengthy research and involvement in the industry and his own experiences to help parents everywhere. Follow Tyler on: Twitter

 

Tips For Getting Through The Holidays During Divorce

The holiday season can be hard to face when going through proceedings or newly divorced. If you want a quiet season, then let people know. They may be trying to fix you up with a date or adding your name to guest lists. Be direct and state that you will sit this one out and not be on the party circuit this year. Some divorcing people want to escape the frivolities and this is fine.

Get out of town

One way to get out of your environment is to go away and rent a flat, as one acquaintance did in Rome. She gorged herself on pasta, wine and ancient ruins. Another divorced friend went to Asia over these holidays on a tour. She enjoyed the sunshine and fabulous temples. Post-divorce, my sons and I took a cruise around New Zealand and to Australia. We felt the stress and tension from my acrimonious divorce melt away. It was healing. There are some great last minute deals for those that want to take a break from divorce in an exotic locale.

Distractions

Others may want the distraction of throwing themselves into the frenzy of the season. Individuals might revel in attending office parties, neighbourhood potlucks, films and more. There are plenty of places that you can go solo, to enjoy the festivities. I go to concerts at St. Martin- in- the- Fields in London by myself. Weeks before my marriage was over, I went to a Christmas pantomime of Cinderella. It was hilarious and took my mind off my situation, plus many other singles were in in the audience. Post-divorce I have gone by myself to the lighting of Oxford Street, yet have been surrounded by thousands. You can have fun going to functions alone, when no longer part of a couple.

Family gatherings

One can concentrate on family gatherings and avoid the rest of the seasonal events. Borrow some nieces and nephews and do kid related activities. Release your inner child by going ice skating or pursuing other amusements.

Start new holiday traditions

If you are a parent, ask your youngsters what holiday rituals that they would like to continue and what new things can be added. Shake up your routines during divorce and adopt a few new holiday traditions. This helps one to let go of the past and to move on. My sons and I changed what we do on Christmas. We substituted a big brunch for Christmas dinner and go to a movie. Afterwards, we partake in a simple, but elegant supper. The bonus is I now have more fun and am not stuck in the kitchen.

Be kind to yourself

Buy yourself a present, such as something pampering like a luxurious skin serum or decadent chocolates. One guy is purchasing fitness equipment this year that he has been coveting. Take a pause this season to put your feet up with a good book, go on a hike or whatever is rejuvenating. Whether or not you are staying in, consider the short-cut of buying delicious take away and bakery items to savour over the holidays. When feeling overwhelmed during divorce, see what can be eliminated in your life.

Co-parenting

When children are in the picture, you may be splitting up the holidays with the other parent. This is hard, so have an activity planned for their absence. Perhaps go over to your parents’ or get together with other singles for a meal. Some meet up with friends at the pub. Have a distraction ready, so that you are not sitting around feeling blue. My sons would ask me what I was going to do when they were gone. I did not want them to worry about me, so this forced me to find something enjoyable. Celebrations do not have to happen on the actual day and if presents are opened before or after Christmas, then okay.

Have more quality time

Post-divorce, I make less types of cookies, do less decorating and entertaining. Instead I have gained so much more quality time with my sons and am relaxed. I enjoy the holidays now that I am divorced, instead of running around ticking things off my to-do-list as I did when married. If you are struggling, talk to friends about your feelings. They can be a source of support.

This article was originally published on Paradigm Family Law’s web site in York, England.

8 Smart Travel Tips For Women

Traveling to new places is a life-changing experience. You get the chance to meet new people, experience new cultures, see new places, and learn remarkably on your travels. No worldly possession can ever replace the joy and thrill that comes with traveling.

In contemporary times, solo traveling has become a fad. Gone are the days when people would wait endlessly for their friends to be free so that they could travel together. Come vacation, people, especially women from all over the world, are preferring to travel solo and enjoy their own company. Going by yourself has its charm. It lets you connect with yourself and listen to your inner voice. You get to do all this and more while exploring a new world. It is a must-have experience!

But, solo travel can be intimidating for beginners. One must have a few tips and tricks up their sleeve to facilitate their traveling experience. Travel hassle-free, and travel smart. So ladies, keep in mind these few things if you’re looking to travel solo:

 

1.     Make your bookings in advance:

When you’re traveling solo, the last thing that you want is to get stranded in the middle of nowhere, with no idea of your next step. Hence, make sure your all bookings are in place before you head out. For your accommodation-related bookings, ensure that the place you’re staying in is safe for solo female travelers. Use authentic websites while making bookings. Additionally, call up the place of your stay in advance to confirm your booking. For utmost safety, don’t forget to look at the pictures of your hotel/hostel, and ensure that it is in a good locality.

 

2.     Research well about the place you’re visiting:

The best way to explore a place is to do some ground investigation before you land yourself there. This way you’ll have a fair idea about the must-visit places, the places you must avoid, the restaurants that offer the most authentic food, and reasonable shopping places. This will also save you from being cheated or duped. It will also ensure for you, a hassle-free, pocket-friendly trip, which will let you stick to your budget.

3.     Travel and pack light:

When you’re traveling solo, it is a no brainer that you are the sole in charge of all your belongings. Keeping a constant eye on them is paramount to ensure their presence. Hence, if you travel with a lot of goods, you will end up looking after your things, and won’t be able to enjoy your travel. Therefore, one must always travel light and try to reduce the number of luggage that needs to be carried around.

4.     Pack smartly:

If you’re traveling all by yourself, you must organize your belongings well. This extra step will not only save you the hassle of constantly keeping an eye on your things, but it will also help you save time on the trip. While packing, pack similar items in individual cubes. By clubbing similar clothing together, it will be more manageable for you to pick stuff for yourself when you’re getting ready.

5.     Choose your mode of travel wisely:

 

While making bookings for your mode of transport, always trust reliable sources and websites. For a budget-friendly trip, always prefer to travel by road or bus. It is cheaper, less time consuming and safer. If you’re traveling by air, ensure that your luggage doesn’t go overweight. The last thing you want to do is to pay extra to get your belongings through! When traveling by road, ensure that your vehicle has Roof rack Uk systems installed. It would make your travel even more comfortable, as all the excess luggage would be stacked on it. Thus, leaving plenty of space for you to sit.

 

6.     Don’t get wasted:

You must always be alert when you travel all by yourself. Hence, getting drunk and losing your senses in the process while on a trip is a big no-no! Stick to not more than a couple of drinks, and always ensure that you’re surrounded by reliable people that you can trust with your safety, especially post dark. Another thing that you must keep in mind is to be alert at all times and keep your drinks and food shielded so that no one can meddle with them.

 

7.     Your safety is paramount:

Traveling solo can be a challenging business for women, especially in a country like India, where women’s safety is always a point of deliberation. A traveler’s safety in places like these is their responsibility.  Hence, one must always ensure that they carry pepper spray, a whistle, and a doorstop, on all trips. Additionally, you must keep somebody posted about your whereabouts. Share your itinerary with them, inform them about your place of stay, and share your location with them, every time you are doubtful about your safety.

 

8.     Try to blend in the place you’re visiting:

Exhibiting confidence when you’re traveling solo is the key to travel safely. Ensure that you don’t look scared and succumbed, and avoid looking vulnerable so that people don’t take any benefits out of you. Seek help from reliable sources if you’re feeling lost. Another tip is to try to dress up according to the place that you’re visiting. It will not make you stand out and come in the notice of people. Dress up like the locals, and you won’t draw any attention!

If you are starting to travel solo, begin with exploring a familiar spot, that is considered to be a comfortable place to travel. Choose a place where locals speak the same language as yours. Ensure that it is tourist-friendly, especially for women, and has adequate security arrangements. Once you have these tricks and tips worked out for you, traveling solo will be the best decision of your life.

So, don’t wait for the perfect moment to arrive to embark upon your solo adventure. The time to travel by yourself is now! Take leaves, choose a destination, and book your tickets. Travel solo ASAP!

This article was written by Rebecca Siggers

 

Co-Parenting A Teenager That Is Vaping Behind Your Back

Raising a child as a single parent thanks to divorce is no mean feat. If that child is a teenager, then things often become more complicated and you need to know how to handle it..

Take, for instance, the vaping craze that’s exploded among teens. What happens when you discover that your teen is vaping behind your back? How will you handle it? How do you and your ex work together to discover a solution?

Why is Vaping Dangerous?

You might be wondering why vaping is a serious issue. Don’t worry, you’re not alone. Most parents and teens are under the impression that vaping simply involves inhaling harmless water vapor and flavor. There’s a misconception that e-cigarettes are better than conventional cigarettes.

However, while e-cigarettes are smoke and tobacco-free, most still contain nicotine. This is a dangerous, highly addictive substance that can wreak havoc on teens’ developing brains, affecting their learning ability, attention span as well as their mood and impulse control.

Additionally, the CDC reports that the vapor or aerosol from e-cigarettes isn’t as benign as once thought. It contains chemical fruit or candy flavorings that have been linked to certain lung ailments. What’s more, the nicotine in e-cigarettes might put users at risk for addiction to other drugs in the future.

Co-parenting A Vaping Teen

Teens can turn to vaping for several reasons including acting out because of divorce or because of peer pressure. Here’s how you and your ex-spouse can handle the situation:

Discuss the issue with your ex-spouse.

You and your ex-spouse need to sit down and discuss how you’re going to handle this situation. Things won’t work if one of you sees that vaping is a problem and the other thinks there’s nothing wrong with it. Get on the same page on how you’ll raise the issue with your teen, the consequences they’ll have to face and what kind of help they should receive, if necessary.

Have a discussion with your teen.

Next, have a discussion on vaping with your teen either separately or together as his parents. Avoid scolding or lecturing and instead, ask open-ended questions to initiate dialogue. This way, you have a chance of discovering the root cause of their behavior. During the discussion, educate your teen on the dangers of vaping.

Outline consequences to your teen.

For consistency, both you and your ex-spouse should agree on suitable consequences for your teen’s vaping. These consequences should be clear and should match the committed offense. For instance, you could ground your teen for some days or withdraw some of their privileges for a while. Ensure that consequences set are enforced by both of you and that rules are the same at both homes.

Seek professional help.

Finally, if you both notice that you’re not having any impact on your teen, seek professional help. It can be hard to quit vaping but it is possible as long as your teen is willing to do it. There are trained professionals who can guide your teen on how to become vape-free.

As parents, both you and your spouse should find ways to co-parent your teen through a vaping incident, keeping in mind that his well being is the most important thing.

Author of this article, Tyler Jacobson, enjoys going to the mountains near his home in Draper, Utah to connect with his wife and children through camping, hiking, and quality time together. When he isn’t rebooting in the outdoors, he shares his fatherly experiences with the world through writing and creative work. Tyler shares the ups and downs of family life and the solutions he’s found through lengthy research and involvement in the industry and his own experiences to help parents everywhere. Follow Tyler on: Twitter

A Single Parent’s Guide To Settling Into A New Neighborhood After Moving

It’s not uncommon for Americans to move multiple times throughout their lives. Some people may simply switch to another city or state, whereas others may head abroad. According to an Internations survey, reasons for moving include love or a desire for a comfier retirement. Whatever the motivation, moving offers an exciting opportunity to get a fresh start. This is especially true if you are recently divorced and looking to turn over a new leaf. The process of transitioning to a new place can be daunting, however, especially if you have a child in tow. So, let these pointers guide you through the process.

Make Sure the House Is Ready Before You Move In

You don’t want to spend the first night in your new home discovering that there’s no hot water for a shower or cooking. Before you move, check that basics such as plumbing are working and that the bare minimum safety devices such as locks, smoke alarms, and carbon monoxide detectors are in place. If any remodeling issues related to wiring, plumbing, or heating and cooling are needed, have these fixed before you move in. It’s also smart to scope out amenities before moving day. Where is the nearest pharmacy or supermarket? Do you know who to call in case of an emergency like a power outage or a broken pipe? Lining up this information beforehand can save stress down the line.

Unpack in an Orderly Fashion and Prioritize Kids’ Rooms

When it comes to the actual moving day, label boxes according to room. As you unpack at your new place, Moving.com recommends starting with kids’ rooms. You can ensure your little ones are comfortable and stay safely out of the way in their rooms while you finish unpacking in peace. Consider loading up a tablet with their favorite games and cartoons to keep them occupied. After your kids are cared for, prioritize the remaining unpacking based on the rooms you will need most urgently, such as your own bedroom and the kitchen. As you continue unpacking over the first week, you can start adding personal touches that will make it feel like home, such as kids’ artwork and family photos.

Take the Time to Get to Know the Neighbors

Once your house is somewhat in order, host a housewarming party and invite people from the surrounding neighborhood to stop by. You can simply leave an invitation in their mailbox, with a few brief lines about yourself and your child. This is a great way to get to know fellow parents in the area; some may even have kids in your child’s age range. If not, network and ask those who stop by if they know of potential playmates for your little one. Getting kids involved in local activities like sports teams is another fun way to get them settled.

Get Out and About in Your Community

The key to really getting to feel at home in your community is to get out of the house. Take the time to visit local shops and restaurants, join your neighborhood association, and host events to get to know people. If there is a public library or visitors center nearby, check of bulletin boards advertising community events. The local newspaper is also a great resource to see what’s going on in your area. Finally, a fun activity for a single parent and kid to get to know their city is a hop-on, hop-off bus tour.

While moving can be nerve-wracking for kids and adults alike, you should be able to integrate with ease. Keep in mind it will take time to adjust to your new surroundings and that you and your child may get “homesick” from time to time. This is perfectly normal. Stay positive and focus on the many exciting opportunities your new community has to offer. With an optimistic outlook, you’ll be sure to find yourself feeling at home sooner rather than later.

Author of this article, Tilda Moore, researches and writes about educational resources for openeducators.org. She is passionate about helping parents and teachers in providing kids with the best education possible. She works directly with teachers and other public education groups to ensure they are working toward our vision of constructing a reliable database of verified information

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

5 Ways To Work Out While Traveling

Traveling and staying in shape might prove quite hectic for many people. Typically, vacations are times for relaxing and giving yourself a treat. As such, it is easier to add calories than to keep fit. However, it is advisable to give your health the priority. Various factors influence your workout options when traveling. Space, abilities, and resources all impact how well you can train. Here is a brief look at some of the best routines you can accomplish while traveling:

  1. High-intensity interval training (HIIT)

Done the right way, HIIT is an effective routine for boosting your heart rate and metabolism. It also regulates insulin levels and aids the breakdown of fats. HIIT sessions aim to push your limit and enhance cardio intensity. Each session lasts 20-45 minutes and does not require any gym equipment. It involves a series of pushups, prone walkouts, pull-ups, sit-ups, burpees and squats separated by brief resting intervals. You can quickly finish a HIIT session in the morning to supercharge your metabolism and fat burning the whole day.

  1. Core exercise and leg workouts

Training your core will build stamina and a good posture, especially since most of your strength and power comes from the core region. It is recommendable to combine core and leg workouts for maximum flexibility and formation. Like HIIT, most core and leg workouts do not require a gym facility. You can perform planks, hanging knee raises, jumping jacks and skater hops at the comfort of your hotel room or even at the beach. This exercise will help you burn down calories and improve your metabolism. You can also integrate core and leg workouts into your HIIT session.

  1. Full Bodyweight exercise

According to research, total bodyweight workouts can target all muscle from your legs and thigh to your abs, chest, arms, and shoulder. They offer a simple way to gain balance and strength using nothing other than your weight. What’s more, bodyweight workouts such as pushups, squats, burpees, and wall sit, and triceps dip and lunges complement each other. They ensure the proportional growth of the body and impact significantly on your overall fitness. You can also do the tuck jumps, limb raises, or donkey kicks during travels or at your hotel room and without incurring any additional cost. When training, it is essential to get proper nutrition and stay hydrated at all times. Fitness enthusiasts also use supplements like Anavar to boost energy and workout endurance. It also helps them to flush out excess water from the body, so they don’t feel bloated while traveling.

  1. Walk, jog, run

As simple as it might look, you should not underestimate the importance of walking.  According to studies, walking and jogging can increase the calories you spend per day. Walking is a low energy cost exercise, so you should go running if you want to burn more calories. You can also combine walking, jogging and running. It is recommendable to take advantage of walking any chance you get. Instead of using lifts, take the stairs. You can also run along the beach, participate in dance and other footwork activities, or even go hiking.

  1. Cycling and swimming

Both cycling and swimming can help you stay in shape during your travel. They are also easy to integrate into your travel workout regimen. You can go swimming at the beach or use the hotel’s swimming pool. For cycling, find bike rentals and ride around to work your leg and thigh muscles. If you get a hotel with a gym, take advantage of the stationary bikes and other equipment to squeeze quick sessions that will leave you feeling pumped.

Conclusion

Working out can help you stay in line with your fitness goals. However, various other factors influence health and fitness. It is highly advisable to establish a supportive lifestyle that is free from drug abuse, stress, and poor nutrition. You should also get enough rest and drink to stay hydrated throughout your workouts. Make sure to perform every move in perfect form to achieve proportional growth. More importantly, train around your needs. If you are on a bulking cycle, eat the right micronutrients for lean muscle development.

Author of this article is Kimberly Clark who is a writer for numerous health and fitness publications. She has been working with many challenged clients for some time now. She can be reached via email at kimberly@linkingaces.biz.

7 Top Tips for Creating the Best Wine Tour for You

Wine is like love, simply irresistible. A muse to a wine lover’s heart, wine can cast a magical spell on you. If you are a wine lover in need of taking this relationship to the next level, then a wine tour is the right option for you. Being a beginner going on a wine tour might seem intimidating, but there’s nothing to have cold feet about because today more wineries than ever are more than excited to welcome you. Whether you are a beginner or a veterinary, these tips will help you get the most out of your wine tour.

Plan out your tour:

Planning is the best way to avoid any inconvenience. Make an itinerary of your wine tour beforehand for a smooth sailing holiday.

Visiting the countryside has its share of problems like lack of connectivity, in situations like this keeping handy a scratch-off map can turn out to be very useful.

Make all your bookings in advance because hey, you’re not the only wine lover in town. Wineries have limited availability and hence making all your bookings at least a week before will keep you on the safer side. Take it from someone who has been on a wine tour recently; planning saves you a lot of trouble. From the Casablanca Valley, Chile to the Bordeaux wine festival, plan out your tour keeping in minds the dates, weather, footfall, etc.   

The early bird catches the worm

Starting early on, your wine tour will prove out to be very beneficial, especially on weekends. Most wine lovers will head out on weekends which can lead to an increased footfall. The best parts about a wine tour are the conversations with winery owners or winemakers, they have so much to tell, and you have so much to learn. As a wine lover myself, I have a lot of questions that I want to be answered, reaching early always gives me the time window I need to build a conversation with locals, winery owners or winemakers. If it gets busy, they won’t have the time to speak to you and hence reaching early will increase your chances of one on one conversation.

Managing the commute

Since you will be drinking wine all-day, driving can be an issue. Most wineries are spread far out and might require some traveling. Public transport can turn out to be very unreliable if you are not acquainted with the timings. Hiring a car or a designated driver is the best option in such cases. If you are looking for cheaper options, then joining a group of 4-5 people can work out well for you. This way you’ll get to interact with like-minded wine lovers as well. In tours like this car roof racks can be handy as it’ll help your group adjust the luggage and use the limited space in a car efficiently.

Know your wine

Even if it’s your first time on a wine tour, always be prepared with the answer to the question “What kind of wine do you like?”. Consider this question as one of the ice-breakers on a wine tasting tour. Knowing the wine you like will not only help you relate to other people better but it will also help in prioritizing and categorizing which wines to taste first.

Be a local

Wine tasting can turn out to be a rewarding experience when paired with the right food. Food and wine go hand in hand. Some wineries even have inbuilt restaurants to keep the wine lovers well-fed. Go for the local dishes, ask the winemakers how to pair your wine with the right food. Eating is a wise decision because it will help in lining the stomach while drinking. Culturally rich places like Santorini, Greece; Tuscany, Italy; Napa Valley, Italy offer beautiful wineries as well as some amazing wine tours.  

Kids or no kids

A wine tour can be turned into a family getaway, provided the wineries you are planning to visit must have provisions to keep the children busy as well. A lot of wineries offer a family-oriented wine tour keeping in mind the involvement of the kids by introducing activities like juice tasting for kids. Do your homework before taking the family out.  

Tasting does not mean buying

Many wine lovers find themselves in this dilemma while visiting wineries. Even though it is considered a good gesture to buy a bottle or two, don’t feel pressured to buy the wine if you don’t want to. Wine tasting is not the same as wine shopping, you were there for wine tasting so there is no need to feel obliged to buy a bottle. Being polite is important because if you are visiting a smaller winery than it might be a part of someone’s home and you might just be speaking to the owner himself, and hence it is important to respect the fact that people are opening their homes to you.

Wine tours are the perfect getaways from the hustle of our fast-paced lives. Whether you are a beginner or an expert on wine, wine tours are a wonderful way to explore your love for it. Not only it will relax and rejuvenate you, but wines are also known to have certain health benefits. They are known to be rich in antioxidants and help cut short the cholesterol levels. If you have been considering the idea of going on a wine tour alone or with family then now is the time to go for it.

Happy Wine tasting!

This article, written by Rebecca Siggers  thus provides you with a list of places that you should focus upon traveling in your next holidays. To be able to travel with ease and reach your destination in the least possible time with comfort, always carry a world map scratch along with you. The alluring qualities of the afore-said cities will make you want to travel several times over and over again in the years to come.

5 Supplements That Can Supercharge Your Training

In the quest to build a desirable physique, an adequate supply of nutrition plays a huge role. No matter if you are beginning your workout journey or are already a hard-lifter, you’ll need proper supplements besides the regular diet to hold on to your gains. Most bodybuilders and athletes go by a meticulously planned supplement schedule throughout the day to keep the flow of nutrients running in their bodies. We take a look at 5 supplements to boost your training.

    1. Carbohydrates:

Carbohydrates should be the primary ingredient in your shakes before you add proteins and the likes. When you work out, your muscle glycogen is stressed and can decrease if the carb supply is deficient. With Carbohydrate intake, you prevent this possibility and, therefore, can train for the maximum amount of time and build a curved body.

Carbohydrates come in handy if you’ve limited protein intake, which makes you short of calories. Carbohydrates also influence your insulin levels, and you should be sure of the volume before adding it to the shake.

    2. Protein:

Protein powders are the most popular supplements when it comes to bodybuilding. Protein has low-fat elements and helps to gain muscle and aids in mass gain. Amino acids are the constituents of muscle-tissue, and protein consists of various amino acids. Therefore, protein consumption becomes most fruitful when you take it just after the workout session as it will start building your muscle blocks after you have them broken down with the exercises.

If you take proteins after a workout and still can’t gain muscle, you might be taking it way after the training period. When a protein mixture is taken immediately after muscle breakdown, it increases your muscle gain 25 times due to a short-lasting “anabolic window”! There are many types of protein, but Whey is famous for its easy digestibility. It also makes your bloodstream work faster.

    3.  Creatine:

Creatine is one of the supplements which is rated very highly for its ability to deliver instant energy, which is crucial for charging yourself up during training. It revitalizes protein synthesis which accelerates your lean muscle buildup. Creatine is an excellent addition to your mixture, and it is always better to take it with carbohydrates and protein for the best results.

Among many kinds of varieties, Creatine monohydrate is the most efficient and should be your first consideration.

According to studies, regular intake of Creatine requires you to drink sufficient water because it increases muscle hydration by drawing water from other parts. Additionally, Creatine keeps tiredness and mental sloth away for a charged-up workout.

    4.  Glutamine:

Glutamine is an essential amino acid that is also the most available one in human bodies. Glutamine helps in slowing down the fragmentation of complex molecules in the muscle and the subsequent release of energy. It positively influences hormone levels and raises the levels of growth hormone. Like Creatine, Glutamine serves you better if you absorb it with Carb and protein shakes.

Glutamine’s salient features are its ability to make you recover faster and hold on to your muscle gains when you are on a diet. Glutamine is also found in meat, seafood, and eggs. The requirement of Glutamine increases with the progress of your workout standard. It’s critical to remember that Glutamine levels can decline in the bloodstream due to exhausting and stressful exercise sessions.

    5. Branched Chain Amino Acids or BCAAs:

BCAAs are essential for quick energy bursts, and they help in reducing muscle tissue breakdown throughout training periods. BCCAs are great for your hormones and helps in maintaining testosterone levels following a workout.

However, studies demonstrate that BCAAs alone are not capable of muscle protein synthesis and need Essential Amino Acids to increase anabolic signaling. Hence, you must take BCAAs with the much-discussed mixture of carb, protein, creatine, etc. If you are concerned with the lack of protein synthesis, Anavar can be a great choice due to its anabolic property.

Happy sweating!

Author of this article is Rebecca Smith

7 Tips To Avoid Insomnia And Get Sound Sleep At Night

Insomnia cases can give you a headache, especially when you are from a tedious job. The condition develops slowly and steadily in individual undertaking activities such as long-distance driving and others.

Specialists are working hard to develop a medication that can curb this kind of disturbing condition. The condition generally affects the regular sleeping routine, and you may find yourself waking up in the middle of the night. This article exposes seven tips to avoid insomnia and get good sleep.

  1. Understand the sleep-wake cycle You need to consult a psychologist about the recommended sleep schedule that a normal brain should have. The circadian rhythm explains how the brain releases sleep regulator, chemicals, and hormones.The internal clock that depends on the biological patterns of the body increases the chances of understanding the circadian rhythm. Brain wave patterns from various radiographic images assist you in knowing your limit of sleep and wake up. Therefore, ensure you are at bed when your time to sleep and wake up at the right time.
    1. Regulation of exposure to light during the day

    The need to regulate how you expose yourself to light is an essential component in acquiring good sleep at night. Morning sunlight is the best because it provides the required minerals for the development of your bones and other tissues.

    The process of sleep depends on the coordination of brain cells and neurons, and this requires you to have maximum exposure to light during the day. The introduction of light therapy boxes assists during different seasons like winter when bright illumination has limits.

    1. Physical fitness
      Involvement in regular physical fitness assists in the relaxation of body tissues and muscle. The relaxation reduces the production of energy, and this makes the body to have fewer functions. The exercise reduces the chances of encountering sleep apnea. However, you may be required to use sleep medication in conjunction with exercise. The medication recommended for sleep apnea is zopiclone. The drug influences the central nervous system to perform required activities along with exercise.However, heavy exercise may be dangerous as it causes contraction of muscle, making you uncomfortable. You should also ensure you exercise at least 3 hours before you go to bed to avoid oversleeping.

      1. Avoid substances

      Drugs alternate the normal functioning of the body system. Classification of substances depends on the health condition it brings. Nicotine and caffeine decrease the chances of releasing melatonin, which is the primary hormone responsible for sleep regulations. Cigarettes also play the role of hindering the production of this hormone.

      Besides, excess food before sleep should not be part of you.

      1. Good stress management strategy

      Stress is a psychological disorder that results in a lack of good sleep. The uprising of stress depends on what you encounter daily and how you handle them. It is wise to seek psychotherapist help if you cannot control stress. The sessions may make you have a relaxed mind that can facilitate an excellent sleeping mood.

      Continuous exercise may assist when you are under pressure and stress. It makes you relax your muscles, and this occurs within the brain, making you feel relieved. The bedtime ritual that assists in relaxing may be necessary.

       

      1. Regular deep breath The fundamental reason for a deep breath is to maintain a steady flow of oxygen in the body during sleep. The increase in oxygen uptake enables the blood to flow efficiently through your body to maintain the relaxation of the muscle.Closing your eyes and facing upwards when taking the breath, maximize blood flow in the brain, and this may make you feel better. Deep breath reduces gasping, snoring, and feeling foggy when you fall asleep.
        1. Suitable sleep environment Note the appropriate sleeping environment that keeps you safe and comfortable. Comfort is mandatory for you to sleep effectively without waking up in the middle of the night.The bedroom should have quality lighting system, air conditioners to regulate temperature and increasing air circulation. The nature of the mattress you are using should be of high quality to avoid issues of physical discomfort.Night sessions should have less light exposure. You should control the number of hours you spend watching television. Experts recommend that you should stay away from TV for about two hours before going to sleep. The period activates the melatonin hormone, which in turn triggers the relaxation of the body, and this causes sleep.

          Your phone should have software that blocks the excess light from reaching you.

          Conclusion

          Sleep is an essential activity for you to remain healthy. Lack of sleep can result in conditions that can cost you a lot when looking for appropriate medication. Insomnia can have the necessary prevention, and it is wise to use the points above. Remember, prevention is better than cure.

          This article, written by Rebecca Siggers  thus provides you with a list of places that you should focus upon traveling in your next holidays. To be able to travel with ease and reach your destination in the least possible time with comfort, always carry a world map along with you (amazon.fr/Carte-Monde-Gratter-Luxe-autocollants/dp/B077CWTKJY. The alluring qualities of the afore-said cities will make you want to travel several times over and over again in the years to come.

7 Exercises To Build Strength And Flexibility

Strength and flexibility are the hallmarks of pure fitness. It is why most athletes and fitness enthusiasts spend more time strength training and working out their muscles for better flexibility. While various exercises can help you achieve both, it is recommendable to incorporate other routines that target strength or flexibility. To achieve desirable results, you can choose the best strength training exercises that boost your flexibility as well. Here is a brief look at seven workout routines you can use to develop strength and enhance your flexibility.

  1. HIIT (high-intensity interval training)

According to studies, HIIT is one of the best workouts for strength and flexibility. A typical HIIT session can involve various maneuvers you have to complete within a given time. Short intervals between the different moves allow you to rest and reposition for the next. With HIIT, you can quickly increase your muscle endurance and power by accomplishing as many reps as possible in perfect form. It also grows more lean muscles, which translates to more glycogen and energy surplus in the body.

HIIT is also useful for improving your flexibility, especially since it involves performing a set of workouts in intervals. You can perform push-ups for 45 seconds, break for 15 seconds, then change to planks, squats, dips, pull-ups, sit-ups, burpees, and so forth. When you combine it with calisthenics, HIIT can push your flexibility to the next level.

  1. Stretches

The most convenient and traditional routine to achieve flexibility is through stretches. According to experts, it is a crucial aspect of training and should always be the first thing you do before you start other intense workout routines. Most people think about stretches concerning preventing gym injuries (pre-workout stretches) or improving recovery (post-workout stretches). However, stretching can help you gain agility and flexibility. It also boosts blood circulation to all the 600 muscle groups delivering essential micronutrients your body needs to grow big lean muscles. With more lean muscles comes the power and improvements in athletic performance.

  1. Weightlifting

People who can lift heavier weights have more power, and this comes from regular training. As you begin lifting weights, you will quickly get comfortable with the first weight and naturally add more. The heavier you can comfortably carry, the more power you build. However, there are various concerns when it comes to lifting weights. If you choose deadlifts, do not forget your double and single-leg deadlifts. Make sure you are building strength in your arms and biceps, as well as legs and thighs. You can also use weighted dips and pull-ups. Vary your routines and work out all your body muscles.

  1. Push-ups and dips

Daily push-ups and dips are a perfect combination for general fitness. In its perfect form, a press-up calls on almost all your body muscles, especially your core. It builds strength and power in your arms, chest, legs, and thighs. Dips also work out your upper body and core. When performing push-ups and dips in perfect form, you will quickly be able to lift and float your body around comfortably. There are various types of push-ups, including feet-elevated push-ups. In the same way, you can use weighted-dips. The variety of moves in these two extensive workouts can help you build both strength and flexibility.

  1. Swimming

Swimming is another efficient workout routine you can use to achieve both flexibility and strength. Swimming makes your muscles to increase in length and also allows you to develop an increased range of motion. Apart from boosting your flexibility, swimming also helps with muscle contraction, thus improving your overall strength.    

  1. Squats

There are a variety of squats you can do to achieve agility and power. Squats strengthen your flexibility by improving the range of motion your hips and ankles can cover. Variations like deep goblet squats can increase flexibility and help you build strength around your hamstring. Make sure you complete all squats in perfect form and switch your techniques for better results.

  1. Cycling and running

Running and cycling drills can help you shed more calories and build lean muscles. They are recommendable workouts that also boost your health, circulation, metabolism, and sleep. Cycling can also develop stronger thigh and leg muscles. However, it is crucial to do more stretches around your cycling and running sessions. Unless you are training for a marathon race, there is no need to run several miles. A daily morning running routine is sufficient to boost your strength and flexibility.

Conclusion

Various workouts can help you build strength and improve your flexibility. It is essential to understand all your moves and make sure you perform each exercise in perfect form. Some activities like stretches are critical before starting any other workout. Although regular workouts are effective, several other factors influence strength and flexibility. Emerging trends among athletes and fitness specialists involve using cannabis products like CBD oil to improve sleep and recovery. If you are in Canada, you can mail order such products from a reputable online dispensary Canada retailer and have it delivered to your preferred location. You also need proper nutrition, adequate rest, and sleep, as well as the right mindset. What’s more, it is recommendable to avoid drug abuse and other lifestyle habits that compromise your workout goals.

This article, written by Rebecca Siggers  thus provides you with a list of places that you should focus upon traveling in your next holidays. To be able to travel with ease and reach your destination in the least possible time with comfort, always carry a world map scratch along with you. The alluring qualities of the afore-said cities will make you want to travel several times over and over again in the years to come.

Not step, Not Half, Just Family

The family structure in the US is changing and blended families are becoming more common. While raising any family comes with its fair share of hurdles, blended families have to deal with a lot more challenges.

I don’t have a blended family myself but I have friends who do and I admire the work they put into uniting their families. That’s the whole point, isn’t it? To have a happy family where everyone feels supported, valued and loved.

Sure blended families come with a lot of names depending on the mix involved. All kinds of remarriages can happen, thrusting children from both partners into a world of “steps” and “halves”. You can have stepfathers and mothers, step-siblings and half-siblings. These names might be biologically correct but sometimes they miss the point –FAMILY.

A blended family, regardless of how it came about, is still family. We are human and sometimes we tend to focus on irrelevant things. So rather than spending time worrying about titles in blended families, what you should call each other or how to explain your family to other people, the focus should be on bringing your family together.

Uniting a Blended Family Can Be Challenging

When it comes to families, none is perfect and blended ones can be even more challenging to bring up. Don’t let the Brady Bunch fool you, becoming one united blended family doesn’t always go seamlessly.

It would be naïve to expect your family to meld together right away. Your children will need time to adjust to your new partner and their new siblings. Sibling rivalry will still be there and might even be worse, especially if the number of kids in the family increases and they feel they’re not getting the attention they’re used to.

Parents also need some time to adjust to the changes brought about by blending their families. You’ll have to work together to navigate tricky terrain with co-parenting, discipline issues, dealing with holidays and celebrations, divided loyalties and other headaches that may arise. You’ll find yourselves looking for any parenting tips you can get your hands on and having lots of conversations to work things out.

In spite of these challenges, it’s up to you to give bringing the family together your best shot.

Yes, It’s Worth It

So what if your child has a different biological mother or father? Or maybe they’re not comfortable calling you mom or dad and instead prefer using your first names? Does that make you love them any less?

Ignore the “half” and “step” titles and purpose to unite the family, bonded by love under one roof. Think of it as having been given a puzzle to complete with a bunch of different pieces thrown in. Insisting on making the original picture on the box won’t work. What will work is making a new picture with the pieces you have now.

Purpose not to separate members through titles and proudly say yours isn’t a step or half family, but just a family.

Author of this article, Tyler Jacobson, enjoys going to the mountains near his home in Draper, Utah to connect with his wife and children through camping, hiking, and quality time together. When he isn’t rebooting in the outdoors, he shares his fatherly experiences with the world through writing and creative work. Tyler shares the ups and downs of family life and the solutions he’s found through lengthy research and involvement in the industry and his own experiences to help parents everywhere. Follow Tyler on: Twitter

 

 

How Traveling Can Help You Heal

There are multiple ways in which Traveling can help you heal. Not only can it help in mental and spiritual healing, but it has a definite impact on your physical health as well. Do you feel broken inside, and are strained from working day in and day out at a stressful job? Are you tired of the chores and your life is becoming too mundane? Then perhaps it’s time you went on a trip because Traveling is the answer you’re seeking.

Traveling Heals Stress 

Being at constant stress is not only harmful to your mind but your body too. Our brain releases a hormone called Cortisol which is also called the stress hormone in the medical fraternity. It’s the hormone responsible for making you feel more anxious and stressed. Under prolonged effects of cortisol, your body shuts down your immune system, which has a direct impact on your healing capacity.

Traveling is a well-known stress-buster, it can make you feel more relaxed and put your mind at ease. Getting out of a stressful atmosphere is the first step for reducing your cortisol levels. Leaving the environment that stresses you out even for a little while can help you quite a lot.

Your body will generate Endorphins if you indulge in a lot of physical activity while traveling. Endorphin is the antithesis of cortisol, it reduces stress and makes you much happier. So what’s stopping you, pack your luggage, throw them on the roof rack of your car and get going.

Traveling Heals Relationships   

Traveling is an excellent way of mending relationships. Most of us have seen a bad phase in our relationships. While being alone can be very helpful for some time, going on a trip with your partner can help to renew your love for one another. It can help you bring back memories of why you fell in love in the first place. Going on a vacation is a great way to break out from your everyday circle of despair, and help you rediscover the care and affection you have for one another.

Studies Indicate that traveling together can induce positive hormones like oxytocin in your body, which increases your overall happiness. Oxytocin, often called the love hormone is responsible for making a couple feel loved in a relationship. Traveling can not only help put your mind at ease, but It can also help you cope with negative past experiences. Like the loss of a loved one or a break-up from a long-term relationship.

Your trust will deepen as you face different kinds of challenges together. When it’s just the two of you in an unfamiliar place, it compels you to work as a team, and you learn to take care of one another. Planning adventurous trips is a great idea for building trust. Most profound bonds are formed in the time of peril, and adventure is excellent for simulating danger. Traveling with a partner will not only deepen your relationship, but it will increase your happiness level as well.

Traveling Heals your Inner Being

In the earlier days, the education of a student was incomplete until they traveled to different places. Traveling helped them in seeing various cultures around the world and gave them a perspective on what they thought about life, people, and themselves. Even today, those seeking spirituality, consider traveling to be one of the best ways of moving towards better self-awareness.

Strange as it may seem, going to a spiritual place like a Buddhist temple is not the only way for you to get in touch with your inner-dimension. A quiet place away from home can be enough to stimulate your mind. Being alone helps heal you from the inside. It’s only when you’re left to yourself that you have time to analyze your thoughts and observe them one at a time. If you want the wound to heal you have to leave it open for some time. It is also true when it comes to your mind you have to leave it open for some time to arrange your thoughts, and traveling is a great way of doing just that.

Conclusion 

Traveling can help you heal on more than one level. Whether you’re trying to reduce your stress or trying to save a relationship. Whether you’re trying to get away from a bad experience or if you want spirituality. The benefits of travel cannot be understated.  Coming back from a trip with a partner can be refreshing, and it can save your relationship. A solo trip can help you discover yourself and help you move past negative experiences.

Author of this article is Rebecca Siggers. Rebecca has been closely studying the travel industry trends from quite some time. Intrigued by the booming growth of this sector, she takes interest in penning down her views providing quality insight on current travel trends and also likes to write about food and beverages, particularly wine.

 

 

7 Most Beautiful Capitals Of The World

Capitals of the countries are generally the places where maximum developmental steps by the Governmental take place. A combination of scenic beauty and architectural marvels make these places a paradise for travelers. These factors spur tourism and make people their time and wealth in these beautiful cities.

Although the capitals of all the countries are beautiful, we will discuss the most beautiful ones in the World amongst these in this article. Henceforth, you shall be able to make a list of places where you could go for a blissful experience.

Paris   

Paris is a city that has world-class art, monuments, and museums. It is so much so that it is called the City of Monuments. Being the capital of France, it is built well due to its marvelous architecture and designs. Paris has an enriching history, which has been the center of the French Revolution. It has arguably the best tourist attraction in the world.

Some of the finest of these include Notre Dame de Paris, Louvre Pyramid Museum, Arc de Triomphe and the Eiffel Tower. Being in the center of showbiz and fashion, Paris has also acquired an image as the Fashion Capital over the years.

Tokyo

A city located in the island nation of Japan, Tokyo has acquired a stature in the international arena. Despite being the largest metropolitan area in the world, its education level, security, literacy rate, cleanliness, and unemployment rates are amongst the lowest in the world. Some of the most popular tourist attractions in Tokyo include Tokyo Imperial Palace, Senso Ji Temple, Tokyo Tower, and National Museum.

Due to high advancement levels, it has fast become popularly known as the alpha world city. Its currency yen has become stronger over the years, due to which it has become one of the most expensive cities in the world as per an article. However, its beautiful beaches, nature, and architecture make it worthwhile for tourists.

Rome  

The historic city of Rome boasts of monuments that have no parallel in the world. Being the epicenter of the erstwhile Roman Empire, it has a rich culture, traditions, and beautiful weather. Its structures attract people from all across the world, some of the famous ones of which are Colosseum, Piazza Navona, Trevi Fountain, and Pantheon. The most predominant religion in Rome is Roman Catholic, which makes it a home for popes and saints.

According to an article, Rome’s closed society of Vatican city brings in a plethora of tourists to the city. This capital city of Italy was also the throne of one of the most celebrated kings of the world at one point, Julius Caesar.

Budapest

Considered to be one of the friendliest cities in Europe, Budapest is the capital of Hungary. It has become quite popular for its food, dishes, and dishes among the tourists. The city’s history dates back to the year 1873 when it got combined to form Budapest out of the cities of ‘Buda’ and ‘Pest’. This stunning city has a significant number of attractions for tourists, such as the recurrent film festivals, cultural festivals, and summer festivals.

Those who wish to admire the architecture of the city must keep Stephan’s Basilica, Fisherman’s Bastion, Andrassy Avenue, and the Parliament building on their to-visit list. Budapest is a fashion hub and has beautiful weather all round the year to make the visitors experience amazing.

Ottawa

The city of greens has one of the biggest green-belt parks across the cities in the world. Being a cold city, it has come to be known as one of the coldest capitals of countries. It is the capital of Canada and is located in the southern region of the country near River Ottawa. Due to heavy snowfall during the winter months, the ice-skating enthusiasts find a good source of entertainment. Some of the most beautiful places to go in Ottawa are the Canadian War Museum, Major’s Hill Park, Rideau Canal, and the National Gallery.

London 

One of the most well-planned cities of the world and the capital of England, London is a treat for the tourists. It is at the helm of economic activity, which makes it one of the richest cities in the world. Set in the British empire, its architecture flourished after the Industrial Revolution in the 18h century.

London finds its location on the River Thames and has become renowned for its art, culture, entertainment, tourism, and fashion. Its vast array of talent has attracted the tag of being the artistic capital of the world. Beautiful monuments, buildings, national parks, and scenery make it a top-notch tourist destination. Some of the most iconic places in London are Big Ben, London Eye, Buckingham Palace, Palace of Westminster, and Madame Tussauds.

Washington D.C.

The city of Washington D.C. is situated on the banks of the Potomac River and falls under the district of Columbia. Being one of the most exhilarating cities across the world, it also highly modern and busy. Its marvels lie in its aesthetics, cleanliness, greenery, and planning. Since people of all religions, cultures, and faiths live here, tourists get to communicate with a wide array of people coming from different walks of life. Places of importance in Washington are those of Lincoln Memorial, White House, the National Museum of Natural History, Washington Monument, and National Zoological Park.

This article, written by Rebecca Siggers  thus provides you with a list of places that you should focus upon traveling in your next holidays. To be able to travel with ease and reach your destination in the least possible time with comfort, always carry a world map scratch along with you. The alluring qualities of the afore-said cities will make you want to travel several times over and over again in the years to come.

 

7 Steps To Finding Great Legal Advice

No matter if you have a small or a big business, you always need to have legal guidance. A manager of a small business has to manage almost everything that a business demands and all it delivers. Well, lawyers don’t just save you from some party that has sued you in the court of law, but they go a great way ahead. Hiring a lawyer as your legal advisor may charge you densely in dollars that may prove dearer for a small business like yours. From commencing a business to every conclusion it delivers, a small business needs legal assistance.

Well, for a small business it becomes a real cost incurring initiative to hire a lawyer, despite the fact, that, it becomes very easy on hiring one! There are certainly other ways through which a small business can avail legal advice for business operations, and that too, without hiring a lawyer! Businessperson tends to avoid the necessity of an attorney, but it is equivalently important as an account manager for the business. Legal matters can not only save you from the law suites but also protects the business from legal collapse. Following is the seven steps to finding  Legal Advice For Small Business.

  1. Be a Part of Legal Workshops:

The legal attorneys are liable to fulfil the requirement each year of several free or pro bono hours for their licensing authentication with the licensing body. It can be a benefit to small businesses. Small business owners can be a part of the legal workshops, lectures, seminars, and campaigns, where these legal advisors volunteer. Several public organizations, libraries, nonprofits, and courts, provide a free legal aid that can make out for small business’ budget. The legal volunteers usually conduct short sessions of about half an hour, where they answer the basic questions raised from the small business owners/entrepreneurs.

  1. Get Admitted in a Law School:

The best thing out of all is to do it by yourself. Being the owner of a small business, the best thing you can do is join a business school. There are law schools that either charge nominal fees or render free tutorials. Such schools have clinics within that guides an individual about the primary legal issues that can happen to a business by any means. Some schools, specifically focus on serving the entrepreneurs and small business personnel. Opting this one out over the others can prove a cost-cutting solution for a small business. 

  1. Leverage Free Consultants:

To suffice the criteria of the state bar association, many lawyers offer free consultations, initially. It is an opportunity for small businesses to seize immediately. During the free consultation duration of the lawyer, a small business owner can consult for clearing the legal matters and gathering the legal guidelines for the future. The business owner needs to consider the fact the attorney is having knowledge and experience of the business the legal matter is following. A free consultation may prove meritorious or will lead you to further moves. 

  1. Hire Lawyers who Charge Creatively:

Many lawyers, today, have a creative structure for charging fees apart from their standardized hourly rate structure that’s too conventional to bring small business clientele. Surprisingly, lawyers charge creatively as per the contingency of the small business. A contingency fee structure refers to the payment of the lawyer fees only if you win the suit against the counterpart. You pay the fees out of the claim amount you have received. This step of hiring lawyers who charge creatively is risky, but if it succeeds, it can benefit to the balance sheet of a business.

  1. Go Digital:

Multiple online platforms let you get free assistance or at a lower rate. Through these platforms, you can know fundamentals of how to establish a business, how to find local lawyers, and how to solve business legalities. Just imagine that now you can even know Streamlined Foreign Offshore Procedures through some legal sources that are available online only away by the access of your fingertip! To name a few LegalZoom, RocketLawyer, LegalShield, Nolo, and many others are the best platforms to get served for your business. Also, there are platforms like Coursera, Alison, Udemy, that provide courses for business, entrepreneurship, legal aspects, that are both, the free versions and the paid ones.

  1. Synergize with State Bar Associations:

The State Bar Association is the supreme licensing authority for the lawyers that belong to your state. A small business can synergize with the State Bar Association directly to advantage from the pool of lawyers it owes under its wings. Perhaps, the small business can attend the various ceremonies that the Association conducts for assisting, directing, and helping small businesses to grow without legal barriers. It makes the small business stand more worthy, more authoritative, more reliable, and more independent of all.

  1. Imply Negotiation Skills for Paying Fees:

Lawyers charge subject to the level of experience title they hold in their name. However, to your surprise, there are a lot of lawyers in the market whom you can hire with just negotiating the prices up to a phase you want. To add more wonder, these lawyers would accept the work associations and would guide you for your business’ legal upliftment, if you are honest and genuine for your approach and payment. You must negotiate amply and ask as many questions as you can in the session you pay.

Above all, every business needs legal advice at different points of a period. It is better to pay once and early than to pay frequently and later. While finding for the best legal assistance, the small business needs to keep in mind that it should prior research for it sufficiently. Be honest with your legal attorney. Face the legal constraint by being upfront. Try and understand the legal aspects as minutely as you can. Your budget should not debar you from levelling up. Following these seven steps would assure you the supremacy!

Author of this article is Rebecca Siggers

6 Ways To Optimize Your Plant-Based Diet For An Effective Workout

A small fraction of people become acquainted with vegetarian bodybuilders every day. Plant-based diets and Mediterranean food-forward eating habits also continue to flourish. The benefits of eating more plant-based foods have repeatedly surfaced in various discussions. Studies on Mediterranean diets also show great results. While they do not prohibit rare lean beef, fish, eggs, and dairy, the diet encourages plant-based food to account for 70% or even more. If you already prefer a plant-based diet, there are many ways you can optimize it to get the best results from your workout sessions. Here is a brief look at six methods:

  1. Know your pre-workout and post-workout food options

Regardless of the diet, you need pre-workout and post-workout meals to achieve optimal results from your workout. If you are on a plant-based diet, you need to know what foods will optimize your workout session. Focus on aspects such as strength and endurance, as well as aid recovery and rest. You can take a supplement like Turinabol to boost your workout performance. It helps in increasing muscle protein synthesis, hence giving us better recovery and muscle gains.

In the same way, you need to identify the right mix of ingredients necessary to boost energy, improve nutrient absorption and build more muscles. Plants are rich sources of proteins, but you should know the ones that deliver more proteins, carbs, essential fats, vitamins, minerals, and antioxidants, among other primary classes.

 

  1. Set a workout goal and work around it 

Your workout is only as effective as its result. Therefore, you must have a goal in mind. If you are looking to grow bigger muscles, for instance, optimize reps for muscle gain and take the right nutrition for muscle growth. Integrate more legumes, nuts, leafy green smoothies, brown rice, whole-grain toast and high-carb fruits like bananas in your diet. You can break down your plan into pre-workout and post-workout foods. If your goal is weight-loss, you should focus on food such as fresh fruits, pasta, whole-grain oatmeal, and sweet potato. They provide you with more energy and fiber for better workout performance without causing you to gain calories.

  1. Use organic supplements

If you are choosing a plant-based diet, then it makes sense to get the best plant foods in terms of both quality and quantity. Start by ensuring all ingredients you use for your meals are fresh harvests and free of pesticides. When at the grocery, you can also look for a label that specifies the plant food as organic.

According to research, organic ingredients are much more rewarding to the body. Just like your food choices determine how healthy and fit you can get, the right growing conditions will impact the final food you eat. Organic foods grow in farms with less cadmium and pesticides or chemical fertilizers. Aside from meals, you can use organic supplements for vitamins, minerals, and micronutrients. An effective workout requires a boost in vitamin, antioxidant nutrient intake as you will be working out muscles and tissues. Popular supplements include Vitamin B, D, and Zinc. You can also get organic beverages.

  1. Incorporate a diverse range of plant foods

Plants offer a wide variety of proteins, carbohydrates, healthy fats, sugars, vitamins, minerals, antioxidants, and phytochemicals. They also provide several other micronutrients. Take vitamin E, for instance; you can get it from Crayfish, Rainbow trout, and goose meat and octopus. In the same way, several plant foods like Butternut, squash, broccoli contain vitamin E. To optimize your workout performance; you need to eat from a wide range of sources. This allows you to get more nutrients into your body through meal consumption rather than supplementation.

  1. Establish a supportive lifestyle  Healthy lifestyle habits can push your workout goals a notch further. Reducing the use of cigarettes and alcohol, drinking sufficient water, getting enough quality sleep and rest, avoiding stress and depression, all work together for your benefit. According to Quora, distributing your meals into 5 or six smaller portions rather than three large ones can optimize your metabolism, reduce hunger strike and provide consistent energy supply for your sessions. There are various other minor changes you can make to provide a solid foundation for your plant-based diet and fitness goals.
    1. Watch your calories

    It is very important to calculate your caloric intake and requirement. Once you know what you need, you can compare the best ingredients to integrate into your diet. Depending on your goals, you might need to cut down or bump up your calories. If you are working out to shed some pounds, you can still get essential nutrients from alternative plant foods that contain fewer calories. You can also find a calorie calculator or check the label of your store-purchased products to determine the calorie count. Keeping your calories in check is one of the most effective ways to optimize your workouts.

    Conclusion

    Plant-based diets are ideal for various fitness goals and healthy living. If you want to increase your workout performance, taking plant foods can help with energy supply, staying satisfied much longer and regulating your metabolism. Plants contain all the nutrients you require to survive. However, you need to pick quality ingredients that are both fresh and organic. You should also know what foods contain different essential nutrients, vitamins, and minerals. With this knowledge, you can blend your plant-based foods to provide the most nutritional value. Focus on your workout goals (muscle gain, strength, endurance, weight loss) and develop a favorable diet.


    Author of this article is Kimberly Clark
    who is a writer for numerous health and fitness publications. She has been working with many challenged clients for some time now. She can be reached via email at kimberly@linkingaces.biz.

     

     

     

     

     

How To Balance Your Child’s Time When Getting Divorced

Parents take decisions and children have to live with the consequences. The decision to divorce may be one of the hardest decisions a parent ever has to make, but the sad truth is, if handled the wrong way, it can be even worse for the children.

The good news is that handled the right way, divorce can be a manageable experience for children of any age. They may never be happy about it, but they can learn to come to terms with it, provided that they still get equal care and attention from both parents.

Here are some tips on making that happen.

Start by working out where children need to be and when   

In this context need means need and as such is non-negotiable. The most obvious example of places children need to be are school and bed. Block out these times and only these times. For the moment, ignore the issue of travel. Right now all that matters is where children need to be and when.

Then work out where parents need to be and when   

In addition to work, parents also need sleep time, plus they may need time for other matters like doctor’s appointments or other caring responsibilities, such as taking care of elderly relatives.

It may be possible, or even desirable, for children to be with them for some of these essential activities and where this is the case, make sure to take a note of this.

As before, ignore travelling time, focus purely on where parents need to be and when and if children can be there too.   

Move on to working out where and when the children have their key commitments 

In this context, key commitments means the places the children really want to be, so their most important activities. This could be anything from after-school clubs, to regular play-dates to being with grandparents. Again, ignore travelling time for now, just look at where children need to be and when.

Finally, work out where parents want to be and when. 

Parents need some downtime too, so acknowledge this and try to make it happen if at all possible.

Map out the best way to join all these dots 

In general, your order or priorities should be as listed above: children’s needs, parent’s needs, children’s wants and then, finally, parent’s wants. While you should, obviously, aim to give your children as many of their (reasonable) wants as possible and certainly do everything you can to ensure that they continue to make established commitments (unless you have reason to believe that they’d prefer to drop them anyway), the fact is that there’s no point in setting an expectation that you will do something if both parents need to be somewhere else and there is nobody to step in.   

Remember to factor in travel time and treat it as travel time 

The reason for ignoring travel time in the early stages was because the first priority was to establish where children and parents needed to be as a prerequisite to looking at the different options for getting them there.

When you actually start to look at ways to turn a set of points on a schedule into a workable routine, then it becomes important to think about the practicalities of getting from A to Z via all relevant points in between.

For the most part, in the real world, these commutes will be contact time with a parent (or other carer) but they will not, necessarily, be quality time, especially not if the trip is by car and the parent has to focus on the road.

In order to be fair to everyone, this reality should be acknowledged and factored into any discussions about how the children spend their time.

Do your best to leave blank space in everyone’s calendar

Life is going to happen and there needs to be some flexibility to cope with this. By leaving some blank space in everyone’s calendar, you give yourself room to manoeuvre when the need arises, which it almost certainly will.   

Focus on the moments rather than the minutes 

While it’s important that children spend fairly equal amounts of both contact time and quality time with both parents, they are not food items which can be split equally down the middle to give each parent an exact half.

Instead of parents worrying about making sure they get their “fair share” of their children’s time, focus on making time with the children precious so that they fully understand that, regardless of what is happening in their parent’s relationship, they are loved and valued by both the key people in their lives.    

Author Bio

Elizabeth Bilton is an accredited mediator and qualified solicitor for Midlands Dove, with a specialism in family law disputes. Elizabeth is one of only a few Mediators in the UK with an appropriate FMC accreditation to sign off on MIAMs required by the Family Court prior to an application being issued.

 

 

Renters And Emotional Support Animals: Understand Your Rights

You find the perfect apartment just minutes from work. Plenty of space, lots of windows and a price point that fits your budget. Everything looks great until you discover the rental has a “no pets” policy. And your pet isn’t just any pet, she’s an emotional support animal who’s been by your side for years and there’s no way you’re moving without her, no matter how great the deal or location. Is there anything you can do?

Landlords May Not Know the Importance of Emotional Support Animals

Most landlords who have a “no pets” policy aren’t necessarily not animal lovers, they just want to protect their investment and ensure tenants have a peaceful environment. Help educate your future landlord with this important information about the need for an emotional support animal.

Physical well-being impacts emotional well-being.

Harvard University studies have shown that petting a dog decreases blood pressure, and have correlated dog ownership with lower triglyceride levels. Walking a dog increases physical activity, which correlates with an increase in endorphins. Improving these health metrics creates a less stressful environment which helps to decrease depressive symptoms.

Depression and anxiety can create social isolation.

Exercise, grooming and vet care are necessary elements of owning a pet. These necessities mean getting out and about which can lead to interactions with other people. Dogs, especially, are naturally social and draw people into interaction with their owners. Walking the dog or going to the groomer offers purpose and socialization and makes it easier for the pet owner to start up a dialogue. This decreased social isolation helps reduce the impact of depression and anxiety.

People with depression and anxiety live with low self-esteem.

An emotional support animal helps improve self-esteem which leads to a better quality of life. A study conducted by Dr. McConnell of Miami University revealed that pet owners have higher self-esteem and decreased levels of anxiety than those without pets. Emotional support animals not only help decrease symptoms of depression and anxiety, but they can also be a part of the healing process as self-esteem improves.

When Awareness and Education Don’t Sway Landlords, You Still Have Options

The best option for coming to an agreement with a landlord who isn’t swayed by your efforts to educate should be communicating about emotional support animal laws. Here are some points you’ll need to know to have a productive and agreeable conversation.

  • Emotional support animals provide therapeutic support and are protected under the Fair Housing Act. This means that a landlord can’t require a deposit or free for your pet and can’t require specific training.
  • Service animals perform a necessary medical service and are protected under the Americans With Disabilities Act and these pet owners will rarely encounter any resistance from potential landlords, pet policy or not.
  • Landlords with a “no pets” policy will often require a signed emotional support animal letter from your doctor stating the necessity of your pet. They can also request proof that your pet is parasite-free, immunized and otherwise in good health.
  • Be aware that even with protective laws, landlords are only required to make reasonable accommodations and may deny animals for a variety of reasons.

Some reasons for denial could be the absence of an emotional support animal letter, destructive or threatening animals, large animals, and illegal breeds or species.

Hopefully, a conversation with your prospective landlord about the need for emotional support animals and how they provide support will get you into that perfect apartment. If not, you have legal recourse which should make a landlord rethink their position and be more receptive to working out an agreement.

Author Bio: Heidi is a Thiel writer and content creator who focuses on valuable guides for seniors, veterans, and disabled individuals. You can currently find her work over at TurboTenant, and view the full guide to emotional support animal laws for more information.

More Than Just A Snore: The Impact Snoring Can Have On A Marriage

Snoring can be incredibly annoying, especially if you aren’t the snoring partner. Many people are nighttime snorers, but did you know that over time it can cause problems for your marriage? Not only can snoring be a sign of a bigger health issue, but leaving it unchecked can progress into relationship issues no one wants to encounter.

So, just like you would work to get your child the help they need, you need to tackle a snoring issue with as much concentration.

What Can Cause Snoring

Anyone can be affected by snoring, and there are a variety of issues that can lead to snoring. Some common symptoms are:

  • Sleeping on your back
  • Nose or throat infection
  • Deviated septum
  • Obesity
  • Drinking alcohol
  • Sleep apnea

Now, most of those causes you have probably heard of before, except for maybe sleep apnea. This sleep disorder is triggered by your airway being blocked, leading you to wake up multiple times a night to restart your breathing. There are many complications associated with sleep apnea, and as snoring is one of the key sleep apnea symptoms, it is essential that the snoring partner is tested to rule out the problem.

How Snoring Can Impact Your Marriage

It can seem like hyperbole that snoring can have any real impact on your marriage, yet it can take a toll, especially as disruptive snoring can lead to heightened negative emotions.

For example, say your partner has started to snore loudly on a nightly basis. Not only can it be difficult to get to sleep if someone is snoring in your ear, but if your partner snores loudly enough to wake you up multiple times a night, it is highly likely that you will feel pretty irritable with the lack of sleep. And we all know when we feel irritated, it is far easier to pick fights and take offense to things we normally brush off.

In fact, researchers conducted a study that examined how married couples were affected by having one partner constantly woken up by snoring. Their initial survey revealed that people who slept near a snorer often had low satisfaction with their relationship, and often, communication deteriorated as tempers shortened with the lack of quality sleep.

Ways To Tackle Snoring As A Couple

Rather than allow snoring to become a wedge between you and your partner, there are ways to tackle snoring. Some of these solutions depend on the snoring partner taking action, but having a supportive partner to assist and cheer on can make all the difference as changes are made. Ways a snorer and their partner can tackle this sleep-disrupting issue is by:

  • Sleeping on their side, using supportive devices if needed.
  • Making sure they are not overweight and losing weight when necessary.
  • Being tested for sleep apnea, either with a home sleep test or sleep study.
  • Resolve allergies or infection to open airway.
  • Have surgery to correct nasal passageway issues, such as overly large adenoids or a deviated septum.
  • Avoid substances like muscle relaxants, alcohol, and nicotine.
  • Use a continuous positive airway pressure (CPAP) machine to reduce breathing stress.
  • Elevate the head so that it is slightly above the rest of the body.

While there are clearly other associated factors, snoring can be the catalyst that leads to serious  marital struggles. Do what is needed now, as managing a partner’s snoring is far easier than couples counseling, separation, or even divorce, when the right steps are taken.

Author of this article, Tyler Jacobson, enjoys going to the mountains near his home in Draper, Utah to connect with his wife and children through camping, hiking, and quality time together. When he isn’t rebooting in the outdoors, he shares his fatherly experiences with the world through writing and creative work. Tyler shares the ups and downs of family life and the solutions he’s found through lengthy research and involvement in the industry and his own experiences to help parents everywhere. Follow Tyler on: Twitter

 

Your Anger During Divorce May Be A Sign Of Depression

Anger and depression are two of the many complex emotions that may occur within a season of divorce. Everyone experiences depression differently, and anger is one way that it may be expressed. This can be especially true in situations where a person feels helpless, which may be the case for someone going through a divorce.

Identifying Anger in Depression

In 2017 alone, major depressive disorder affected more than 17 million U.S. adults. Diagnostic criteria for this condition are depressed mood and/or loss of interest or pleasure in life activities for a specified period of time. Additional symptoms may include:

  • Significant unintentional weight loss or gain.
  • Insomnia or sleeping too much.
  • Feelings of worthlessness or excessive guilt.
  • Agitation or psychomotor retardation.
  • Fatigue or loss of energy.
  • Diminished ability to think or concentrate, or indecisiveness.
  • Recurrent thoughts of death.

For some people, anger is also a sign of depression. One study reported that “anger attacks” were present in approximately 30% to 40% percent of participants who were depressed. In another study of patients who experienced major depressive episodes, researchers found that overt irritability or anger was found in more than half of the participants.

Understanding the Link Between Depression and Anger

According to Recognizing and Addressing Depression Presenting as Anger, the use of ineffective or inappropriate emotional regulation strategies, as well as an impaired ability to process negative information, may play a role in developing depression. These behaviors can result in:

  • Rumination: repetitive, unwanted, past-oriented negatively inclined thoughts. Individuals who ruminate may mentally rehearse past stressful events and worry about future events.
  • Impaired cognitive reappraisal: inability to reframe one’s thoughts about emotion-eliciting occurrences to change their effects.
  • Increased expressive suppression: attempts to hide, inhibit, or reduce ongoing emotion-expressive behavior.

Within these dynamics, researchers have found that people with depression were more likely to experience anger and irritability if they lacked emotional regulation abilities and if they ruminated on negative events. Both culture and gender can play a role in whether or not an individual uses maladaptive emotional regulation strategies.

Steps to Healing

If you are experiencing anger that may be related to underlying depression, the good news is that there are strategies for treating it. The first step is to be screened by a medical or mental health professional. Depending upon the outcome, treatment may include medication, psychotherapies, or a combination of the two.

Another important step toward healing is to practice self-compassion, which is “a compassionate response toward one’s own suffering, which can interfere with self-criticism likely to be cued during challenging tasks.” Doing so can also be a good motivator for engaging in healthy activities to help you cope with anger caused by depression, arguably a great benefit for you and everyone else involved.  

Author of this article Samantha Keller, is a contributing writer for OnlineMSWPrograms.com.

 

Divorced? Here Is What To Do With Your Diamond Ring

A diamond wedding ring’s value and meaning to you will obviously change after divorce. However, that doesn’t mean its value goes away entirely. Although the marriage may be over, the ring is still worth something to someone. 

Selling a diamond is certainly an option; however,  a smart way to take advantage of this is to redesign your post-divorce diamond jewelry. Since you likely won’t want to keep the metal setting, removing the diamond and using it in a new way ensures it isn’t wasted. 

Are you interested in redesigning your divorce jewelry? If so, consider the following project ideas. 

A Necklace  

Setting a diamond into a necklace or making it a pendant is a simple but incredibly effective way to elevate a piece of jewelry.   

When planning your design, consider how every detail will impact the look of the necklace. The diamond may be the most noticeable feature, but it is by no means the only feature worth paying attention to.  

You also want to look into chain options. You want to decide whether adding pearls to the necklace will complement the diamond’s beauty, or distract from it. If you choose to add them, you want to make sure you pick the ideal size pearls. 

Luckily, this can be a fun experience, giving you the opportunity to explore and express your own personal creativity!

Earrings  

Earrings prove just how gorgeous a diamond can be. Despite being very small, diamond stud earrings can nevertheless transform any look.  

Thus, you might want to use the diamond from your old wedding ring to create half of one pair. Work with a jeweler to find a similar diamond for the other half, or if you prefer, simply wear one earring; some people find this unique twist to be very stylish.  

A New Ring  

It’s worth noting that redesigning your diamond jewelry after a divorce doesn’t need to involve completely changing the nature of it. If you like the look of a diamond ring, you can still remove the diamond from its original setting (it’s best to hire a professional to do this for you if you lack the proper experience) and insert it into a new setting. 

This is another instance when you should take the time to consider your preferences and tastes. Research different setting styles to find one that appeals to you.  

This is the most important point to keep in mind. For understandable reasons, you might assume the process of redesigning post-divorce jewelry will be upsetting.  

It certainly doesn’t have to be. Instead, it can be a joyful experience, giving you the chance to learn about yourself as you embark on the next stage in your life.

Author of this article  Rae Steinbach   is a graduate of Tufts University with a combined International Relations and Chinese degree. After spending time living and working abroad in China, she returned to NYC to pursue her career and continue curating quality content. Rae is passionate about travel, food, and writing.”

How To Lower Your Shared Parenting Anxiety After Divorce

Shared parenting is a kind of agreement after divorce, in which both parents continue a positive presence in the lives of children. It provides for the need for the child to stay with each parent more or less equally.

The joint custody agreement may vary depending on each specific situation. According to Wikipedia, the time spent by the child with each parent can be divided 50 to 50, or the child can live with one of the parents for four days, and the rest of the week with the second, and so on. That is, the main essence of this concept is to ensure quality rather than quantity. 

According to Onlinedivorce, a joint custody order cannot be entered if either spouse is guilty of abusive behaviour, domestic violence, or suffers from chemical or alcohol addiction. In other cases, shared parenting may be requested by the parents, or be awarded by the court as a preferred option due to the presumption (now, more and more US jurisdiction declare that shared parenting is in the best interest of the child.) 

Why Co-Parenting Matters So Much

Most children also prefer co-parenting to traditional but outdated measures, in which one of the parents loses the opportunity to communicate with the child and becomes only a rare guest (notorious “weekend dad” phenomenon.) With a joint upbringing, the child retains the possibility of a meaningful relationship with each of the parents. Otherwise, relationship problems both with the custodian and non-custodial parent often occur. There are two quite common situations:

– Either the child lose the close connection with the non-custodial parent (even if they meet and spend some time on holidays, but the parent is not involved in the child’s daily life, preferring just to compensate for poor parenting with splashy gestures and gifts);

– Or vice versa – due to the absence of one of the parents, the child begins to idealize him subconsciously. This inner image of the father (or mother) often becomes divorced from reality. While quarrels with the parent, who has taken on the upbringing process with all its difficult moments, are only becoming more frequent. 

Yet, despite all these obvious and proven pros of shared parenting, a lot of parents feel anxious no less than their children while adjusting to the new conditions. How to overcome this feeling? How to decide on delegating responsibility? How to maintain close relationships with your child and healthy relationships with your former spouse?

You are not alone! People who divorce amicably and with no mess, still face a lot of problems and fears concerning custody and parenting issues, and this is normal. For the spouses who have kids, calm and friendly divorce is just the first step, and then, they need to manage their new lives so as not to lose what they already have and keep the feeling of a loving family for the child.

Let’s sort out, how to deal with shared parenting and your own fears and doubts.

Author of this article is  Dina Caldwell from  www.onlinedivorce.com/

7 Ways To Express Your Love For Your Partner Without Saying It

Love is that effortless emotion that can transform even the most impassive person. Sometimes we miss out on the signs or moments where we can express our love, without saying a single word. These are simple gestures towards our partner. Understanding the tiniest detail of your loved one shows how much you love him/her.

Saying ‘I Love You’ always works and will end your fights magically. Here are a few other creative ways to express your love for your partner without having to say it.

  1. Share your deepest fear/secrets  

Our deepest and darkest fears or secrets are very personal. Sharing these with your partner will make him/her believe that you trust them entirely. This can make them feel really special and loved. It expresses your faith in your loved one and assures he/she is the most important person in this entire world. Also, it allows your partner to help you get out of it if you wish to. Growing together in love, eliminating flaws or accepting them, finding serenity is all that matters.

  1. Attention to Details 

When does he/she wake up? What is his/her favorite dish? Or favorite T.V show? Small details can bring immense happiness. If you know your partner’s favorites, what keeps them happy or what puts them off, you will be able to express your compassion towards them. It will show that you care for the minute details only to bring that smile on your partner’s face. For instance, opening the car door for her, placing the food on her plate, keeping the hot water ready for his/her bath. Small acts matter in love. And these are not just a onetime action. Practice it to engrave it in your nature. Be genuine and don’t make it pretentious.

  1. Listen  

Listening involves paying interest to no matter what your partner is saying. Put your phone down, and prioritize the person in front of you longing to communicate. To listen to your partner is to show that you genuinely care for him/her. It shows your involvement physically and mentally. Look at them and show your concern, and when the need arises, give your opinion. Your partner might need your consideration or assistance with something which they might have shared just yesterday. It is the simplest way of expressing your affection without the need for uttering a word.

  1. Send Gifts  

Yes, and there is no need for any special occasion. Randomly pick a flower and surprise her. Send gifts to his/her office, giving them a chance to chuck out tensions. As said earlier, a gesture of your love, your presence that you are there for him/her forever, makes a huge impact. That is how you can convey love. Send your girlfriend a dainty piece of casual white dress to let her know that she is the angel of your life. Or surprise him by planning for an adventure, a dinner date, where you could cook for him and eat with some wine like Stella Rosa Black and champagne like Totts or maybe a football game date or any other sport he enjoys the most.

  1. Understand Each Other’s Ambitions or Choices 

At the end of the day, you and your partner are two separate individuals with different aims in life. Your ideologies are compatible, but ambitions might differ. Your way of expressing affection should involve an understanding of that. Compassionate love is about appreciating by allowing your partner’s individual growth and success. It becomes a matter of respect. Give your partner space. Believe it, giving each other space will make your relationship healthier. How much you value your partner’s dream to achieve something. Learning how to cook a new dish is also an achievement. Celebrate it without any reason to show her love.

  1. The Magic of Touch 

Animals express their love through touch, and that is always mesmerizing to witness. The magic of touch is effective enough to heal even an ailing person. Hold hands while watching a movie. Make your partner feel exceptional because he/she has you to support and stand by any day. A simple act of touch and cuddle can tickle that spark between you every time. A kiss on the forehead itself speaks a thousand words.

  1. Stay Positive  

‘To err is human; to forgive, divine.’ Focusing too much on flaws will bring negativity to your relationship. Instead, ignore those aspects and center your relationship on positive things. What binds you together? What do you love about him/her? Life is too short to hold on to grudges or fights. Be thankful for who your partner is. Imperfection makes us the person we are. So, figure out how to accept those and move on. That will show your true love.

Conclusion:  

Communication is the key to build that mutually engaging relationship where both can pour out energy and soul in making each other feel special every day. Compromising at times on petty issues will prevent unnecessary arguments. Love might mean different for each one us. Do not conclude that your partner doesn’t love you on the basis of these. He/she might express it in another way. An act of kindness, a piece of thoughtful advice, touch, is some everyday actions that show love and compassion.

Author’s Bio:
“Jessica Smith has been writing for a few years now. She is a writer by day and reader by night. She was a very quiet child but writing always inspired her and that is why she began writing in her free time. She loves reading, be it a newspaper, a book or anything. She also loves cooking, traveling and dancing. She wants to be a successful writer as writing is her passion.”

 

 

 

How To Get Your Child Help When Your Ex Thinks That Nothing Is Wrong

When a child is raised in two different households, it can cause some problems when it comes to childcare. One thing that sometimes happens is different opinions are formed over the behavior of the child. If one parent believes the child is showing signs of ADD or ADHD, the other may think their child is being disorganized and unfocused but not in a way that is unusual for a kid.

The only way to be sure is by visiting health care professionals so that your child can be assessed, and that can be tricky. Since doctors visits and medication still require joint consent, it can sometimes be difficult to get your ex-partner to consent.

If you are stuck in this position right now, there are some steps you can take to work with your ex and convince them that your child needs help.

Ask For A Meeting At Neutral Territory

When you are ready to talk to your ex about your concerns, it is best to meet at a neutral place. Often, meeting at either of your homes or that of grandparents homes, can leave the other person off-balance and on the defensive.

Instead, to create a conducive environment of cooperation, I would recommend you two meet together at places like a park, cafe, or reserve a meeting room at your local library. Not only are these places neutral, but they are public enough that outbursts are likely to be held to a minimum.

Have Clear Examples Of Concerning Behavior

If your ex-partner doesn’t believe there is anything wrong with your child, it is important that you bring clear examples of the concerning behavior with you to the meeting. This aspect can especially important if you are the main custodial parent and the other parent doesn’t see the child enough to notice the problem you are concerned with.

For instance, say you are concerned that your child has anger management issues. Outline recent outbursts, reports from teachers, and other examples when you discuss the issue with your ex. This tactic works with most problems, from insidious issues like teenage narcissism to eating disorders.

Maintain Focus On The Child, Not Past Issues

As you talk about the issues your child is facing, be sure to keep the conversation on the topic. It can be hard for both of you to not open up past wounds, especially if the issues your child is facing is likely caused by either the divorce or the behavior of your ex.

But, picking a fight with your ex or re-hashing old hurts will not help you gain their cooperation. You may have to be the adult in the conversation and redirect your ex back to the important matter by saying something like this, “I don’t think now is the time to talk about that. Can we please discuss Billy and his anger management issues?”

Offer Options And Ask For Their Opinions

While it can be frustrating, especially if you have done all the research and found the best option when it comes to the care of your child, do your best to offer options. As the other parent, your ex is more likely to consent to treatment if they feel like they had the ability to help in choosing a course of treatment.

For instance, say that you have researched anger management treatment and found that specific therapeutic treatment for teenage boys is the best route. While you should say that you believe that is the ideal solution, be sure to offer other acceptable ones that may help such as different types of therapy and perhaps medication.

Your ex may also have opinions on the course of treatment. Do your best to listen to them and allow them to feel heard, though you can discuss why you discounted those options during your own research.

Be Prepared To Cover Costs On Your Own

It is unpleasant to think about, but some ex-partners block treatment just because they don’t want to pay for it. With that in mind, you may need to be prepared to offer to pay for some or all the treatment to get your ex to agree.

If needed, there are tools that can help you find sliding scale healthcare, which takes your income into account when it comes to paying for services. Many therapists also offer sliding scale payments, so you shouldn’t feel like you are without resources.

It can be tough to work with an ex-spouse that is combative, but for your child’s sake, it is important that you do your best to work together so that your child can receive the care they need.

Author of this article, Tyler Jacobson, enjoys going to the mountains near his home in Draper, Utah to connect with his wife and children through camping, hiking, and quality time together. When he isn’t rebooting in the outdoors, he shares his fatherly experiences with the world through writing and creative work. Tyler shares the ups and downs of family life and the solutions he’s found through lengthy research and involvement in the industry and his own experiences to help parents everywhere. Follow Tyler on: Twitter

 

Helping Your Child Through Social Anxiety

It will be surprising to many parents that even young children can struggle with social anxiety. We’re social creatures, and our appreciation of key social dynamics begin forming as early as age two.

So, during your child’s formative years, it’s important to both teach them basic social skills and help them get comfortable around their peers. This is so they can develop a healthy social schema and consolidate their emotional intelligence.

Most young children don’t have the introspective skills to know when they’re dealing with social anxiety. So, being educated about the signs of and symptoms of anxiety in children is a must for parents.

What is social anxiety? 

It’s important to define what social anxiety is in children. Many adults confuse social anxiety with introversion or poor social skills. This innocent misconception hurts more than helps because many times parents won’t realize there’s an issue.

Regarding social anxiety, the ADAA states, “the defining feature of social anxiety disorder, also called social phobia, is intense anxiety or fear of being judged, negatively evaluated, or rejected in a social or performance situation.”

When your child struggles with social anxiety it can make performing day-to-day scholastic tasks like public speaking or reading out loud difficult. It can also present during playtime, making it especially hard to have and keep close friendships.

If your child is dealing with any form of anxiety this can have a negative impact on their social and emotional development. On a personal level, social anxiety can profoundly change the course of a child’s self-confidence.

Signs of Social Anxiety in Children 

Once you understand the characteristics of social anxiety, it’s a good idea to be proactive and look out for the signs. A common theme in socially anxious children in visible fear or panic while socializing. This fear will manifest as outbursts, crying, refusal to speak, or freezing.

You will also notice that their fear is disproportionate to any actual threat. One disappointing social interaction may cause your child to stress in similar situations for weeks or months. So, it’s important to make sure they have realistic social expectations early on.

Some physical symptoms of social anxiety include a stuttering or trembling voice, body shaking, rapid heart rate, sweating, and a pale complexity. These symptoms will vary from child to child, so it’s important to be in-tune with your child and recognize atypical behaviors.  

What Can You Do? 

Empathizing with your child and making sure they know you’re there to help is vitally important. In addition to providing familial support, bringing your child to a licensed child counselor is another great way to get to the heart of their anxiety and work towards overcoming it.

You can also help teach them simple social cues and sills. This could include role-playing and practicing conversations. If your child has a presentation coming up, help them prepare beforehand by practicing in front of you so they feel more confident about their speaking ability.

Dealing with Your Child’s Social Anxiety 

Remember that there are varying degrees of social anxiety, and your child may fall on different ends of the spectrum depending on the situation. In any case, being patient with them is important to remember when helping them deal with their anxiety.

When your child turns to you for help, make sure to be patient with them. Sympathize by sharing a time when you felt anxious and let them know they’re not alone. Keep working with them to get their anxiety under control, and frequently check up on their progress.

Author of this article Alexis Schaffer received her undergraduate degree in psychology and is a registered nurse. In her free time she teaches yoga and writes for various online publications. She’s also the proud dog mom of a beagle named Dobby.

How to Navigate Celebrations After Divorce

Freshly Single And Ready To Travel To Have Your Best Holiday Yet

How To Help Your Teenager With ODD Still Have An Organized Life After Divorce

Divorce is often tough on the whole family, more so children and teens. Teenagers already have enough to deal with and most of them experience a cocktail of emotions after their parents’ divorce. They may feel angry, frustrated, sad, confused and lonely.  Such a stressful situation might worsen the behavior of teens with Oppositional Defiant Disorder (ODD).

ODD teens are not your typical teens. This behavioral disorder is characterized by consistent defiant, hostile and uncooperative behavior towards authority that seriously interferes with the teens’ daily life. The upheaval brought about by divorce can exacerbate an ODD teens’ symptoms and behavior, making things even more difficult for the family.

Part of dealing with an ODD teen involves creating and establishing structure to provide guidance and a positive atmosphere that’s crucial to their healthy development. This shouldn’t stop because of their parents’ divorce. Both parents are still needed to give guidance, love, and support.

Establishing Structure for your ODD Teen after Divorce

Maintaining rules and consequences.

You might feel guilty or overwhelmed after a divorce and that can lead you to let certain behaviors in your teen slide. ODD teens still need consistency so make sure you still uphold the rules and consequences they’re used to. Have a discussion with your teen and let them have a say in coming up with effective consequences and rules they should adhere to.

Cooperating with your ex-spouse.

Co-parenting after divorce brings its own set of challenges. ODD teens thrive on conflict and may enjoy pitting one parent against the other so having clear, open communication channels between the two of you will eliminate a wide range of problems. Both you and your ex-spouse need to have a discussion about your ODD teen and get on the same page about discipline and the basic rules they should follow.

Watch your own behavior.

Parents are behavioral models for their teens so ensure you only model behavior that you want them to emulate. Avoid bad-mouthing your ex-spouse and don’t use your teen to spy, report or check up on them either. Also, work out issues that involve you and your ex-spouse directly with them without involving your teen.

Enlist the help of a professional.

Talking and reassuring your teen can go a long way towards helping them adjust to life after divorce. However, your teen might refuse to talk to you and might feel better opening up to a trusted individual like a therapist. If that’s the case, enlisting the help of a professional might be the best thing to do. The professional might even recommend a behavioral modification program for your teen to help them get back on track.

While focusing on your ODD teen’s behavior is important, don’t forget to prioritize your own self-care. Find ways to keep yourself healthy as both you and your teen cope with the divorce.

Author of this article, Tyler Jacobson, enjoys going to the mountains near his home in Draper, Utah to connect with his wife and children through camping, hiking, and quality time together. When he isn’t rebooting in the outdoors, he shares his fatherly experiences with the world through writing and creative work. Tyler shares the ups and downs of family life and the solutions he’s found through lengthy research and involvement in the industry and his own experiences to help parents everywhere. Follow Tyler on: Twitter

 

 

The Crucial Facts And Deadly Consequences Of Tooth Abscesses

It is very unlikely that one would have to deal with an abscessed tooth in one’s lifetime. An abscessed tooth essentially has an infection within the tooth or in midst of the tooth and gums. It may result in sore tissue in mouth or throat. This may be filled with pus.

It is a bacterial infection that leads to pus formation.

The underlying cause of abscessed teeth is decay or erosion of teeth. As resulting from the same, bacteria makes its way into the cracks or chips that exist among the teeth.

A few of the common underlying causes leading up to abscessed teeth include poor dental hygiene and untreated cavities.

It may even happen that abscessed teeth occur within just a couple of days of onset of an infection. Dental abscesses are broadly classified as two subtypes.

Periodontal abscess

A periodontal abscess is also known as a gum abscess. This occurs as resulting from an infection between the teeth and gums.

It occurs wherein food and debris are caught in midst of the teeth. In the event wherein there is a bacteria buildup in bone below the gums, the disorder may be more severe.

Periapical abscess

A periapical abscess implies a tooth related abscess. It occurs within the tooth.

In the event wherein the tooth’s nerve is dying or dead, the infection occurs. It is initially visible close to the tooth’s root. It may then spread to the surrounding tissue or bone.

Dental abscesses do not heal by themselves. If one goes for treatment for a dental abscess, they may still grow for months or years, and take the same duration to heal.

There are cases wherein dental abscesses are not too painful. But the disorder is characteristically painful, so people seek treatment for the same with an immediate effect.

Symptoms

A symptom most commonly associated with a dental abscess is constant toothaches. One may even experience throbbing, along with shooting pains in the infected area.

Among the other symptoms associated with dental abscess are:

  • Swollen neck glands
  • Fever
  • Swelling and redness in gums
  • Chewing becomes painful
  • Foul breath
  • Bitter taste in mouth
  • A draining sore towards a side of gums
  • Upper or lower jaw becomes swollen
  • General uneasiness

There may be times wherein the toothache disappears wherein the pulp of the tooth is destroyed. But it does not mark the end of the infection.

While the infection is not treated, it will continue to spread. In the event that one experiences any of the symptoms as listed above, it is best to seek medical help with an immediate effect.

Treating a tooth abscess:

Diagnosis forms the first step of treatment for dental abscess. The doctor probes the infected tooth using a dental instrument. This may be slightly painful, but dentists are responsive to how patients feel.

He’d inquire if the pain enhances upon biting or chewing and would also check the state of the gums to see if they are red or swollen.

He may conduct an x-ray, in order to get a better idea about the state of erosion of the bone around the abscess.

The dentist would attempt to preserve the tooth by destroying infection and restoring the tooth.

This characteristically involves a draining procedure in order to overcome the infection. Draining is done by root canal therapy.

Once the infection or pus is removed there is an infected tissue, the dentist may recommend for going for a root surgery for its removal.

With the infection gone and the tooth treated, a crown is placed upon the tooth which helps restore its functionality.

Root canal charges are variable from one dentist to another, and also vary from one geographical location to another.

There may be cases wherein the tooth may have to be extracted altogether. Alternately, a dentist may make an incision in order to drain the infection. Rct treatment cost is often lesser than any of the other dental procedures for treating abscesses. Medical practitioners believe that rct of teeth price should not be a primary concern when treating abscesses.

The doctor may prescribe antibiotics to fight the infection and prevent it from spreading.

Prevention

A few of the prime ways that work towards preventing dental abscess include blushing and flossing regularly, consuming a balanced diet and dental cleanup procedure.

Author Bio:

Sawoni Chowdhury is an aficionado of writing. She is an expert writer and blogger and shares her views and opinions on a range of topics such as Lifestyle, Business, Entertainment and lot more.

 

 

 

 

 

 

The Importance Of Testosterone

Testosterone is a hormone very mentioned by people for its association with masculinity, although few know the importance of this hormone for the organism and what are the functions that it exerts.

What is the role of testosterone in the body? 

This hormone is essential since we are in the womb, the production of this hormone can initially determine the sexual formation of the fetus in the womb, the higher is more likely to form a child, otherwise a girl would be formed.

The reason why this hormone is called the male hormone is because men and many male characteristics are a direct product of the effects that this hormone produces, such as; The development of depth in the voice, the growth of facial hair, and the development of the penis and testicles in adolescence. It is also the hormone responsible for improving the production, quality and movement of sperm, when a man has female features, little facial hair, etc., it is said that he has a low production of testosterone, on the other hand, those women who have a deep voice, facial hair, or a lot of muscular strength, is likely to have a high production of testosterone.

Testosterone is also associated with sexual behavior and especially with male sexual behavior, as it is responsible for arousing libido or sexual desire in both sexes, hence men have more sexual appetite than women.

The metabolism is influenced by testosterone in a positive way since it activates it and therefore increases the burning of body fat and promotes the healing of tissues.

What is Testosterone?  

In scientific terms, testosterone is an androgynous steroid harmone”.  /structural-coupling-of-of-hermaphrodism-and-the-androgynous/”>androgynous steroid harmone</a> formed by 19 carbon atoms and found in Leydig cells of the testis and ovaries, in mammalian, reptile and bird species, controlled mainly by the pituitary gland, which regulates the amount needed in The body releasing other hormones for its control, testosterone is commonly called sex hormone

What are the testosterone levels in men and women?

The considered normal levels by the medical community are the following; in women an average between 20 and 80 nanograms per deciliter, but in men it is exponentially higher, between 300 and 1000 nanograms per deciliter, to know how much we have each one of us it is necessary to do a blood test, however these are They do when the symptoms of a hormonal disorder are quite obvious and cause discomfort in the menstrual cycle, in the production of sperm, or the physical appearance of each individual.

Why is this hormone important in sports?  

Since the metabolism is positively influenced by this hormone, many athletes seek ways to increase levels to have a better physical development, either to lose weight burning fat, or to define the muscles and increase lean mass and power or muscle strength, hence called steroid hormone.

How to stimulate the production of testosterone naturally?  

Bodybuilders and athletes who have an adequate and healthy diet usually increase production naturally, since they usually eat foods with a lot of protein, such as eggs, lean meats, broccoli, mushrooms and nuts, these foods are the best option for that your body stimulates the production of testosterone, however it is convenient to avoid sugars and simple carbohydrates that usually do the opposite effect.

This article is written by Angeline 

 

 

Dealing With An Emotionally Abusive Spouse During A Divorce

Almost half of all marriages in the United States end in divorce or separation, and though many of these marriages end in amicable terms, some couples aren’t so lucky. Sometimes, a once well-mannered spouse will transform into a relentless bully. What makes this kind of bullying worse is that your ex knows your deepest fears and insecurities, making it easier for them to push your buttons.

Bullying in a divorce can manifest in different ways. Your partner could lie about past incidents or blow things out of proportion to make you look bad. They could isolate you from friends and family, or threaten to take full custody of the children and keep you away from them. They could turn into a cyberbully, harassing you on social media or over email.

Dealing with an abusive partner in a divorce can take a significant toll on your mental and emotional wellbeing. Thankfully, the situation isn’t unsalvageable. If you take the time to understand how you can handle an abusive partner, you can make the divorce more bearable.

Turn To A Support System

Divorcing a bully is a harrowing task, but having the right people around you can make it easier. Your support system will consist of professionals, like a lawyer and other consultants, as well as emotional support like your friends and family to keep you mentally balanced. Knowing that you have a group of people who have your back will make a world of a difference on especially bad days.

Keep A Record Of The Abuse

When you’re a victim of bullying, it’s easy to feel helpless and fall into despair. But you can stand up for yourself by taking note of your partner’s abusive behavior, recording every single detail. Take note of the date and time, how the abuse occurred, and be as detailed as you can. Then, take this data to your lawyer to see if they can help you stop the abuse by setting clear legal boundaries they cannot cross.

Prioritize Your Health And Safety

Bullying can result in a multitude of mental health issues, such as depression and anxiety. The emotional toll can also affect your physical health, weakening your immune system and causing problems like headaches, fatigue, and digestive issues. It’s easy to lose sight of your physical health when you’re in the middle of a difficult divorce, but make a point to take care of yourself by consuming healthy food, exercising, and engaging in activities that make you happy and calm. You could also consult a therapist to help you work through your issues.

Not all bullying partners are violent. But if you think that your ex could physically harm you and your kids, take steps to keep you and your children safe. If your ex was violent during your marriage, the chances of them lashing out on you during the divorce are significantly higher. If you feel that the risk is significant, speak to your lawyer about filing a restraining order.

Bullies often resort to abusive tactics to pressure you to give in to an outcome where you get the short end of the stick. Learn how to stand your ground and don’t let yourself get bullied into making a bad choice. Be kind to yourself. Remember that although things may be difficult now, this will all end eventually. Keep your chin up, and don’t lose heart.

Author of this article, Lucy Wyndham, is a freelance writer and former Financial Advisor. After a decade in industry, she took a step backward to spend more time with her family and to follow her love of writing.  

Teaching Your Kids Discipline Through A Savings Account

One of the major pillars of developing teenage independence is to have financial independence. In most cases, children will likely never become financially independent while living at home, since there is no real pressing need. However, that will not always be the case.

So, unless you want your children moving back in with you after college because they can’t manage their finances well enough to support themselves, it is critical that they learn discipline when it comes to their money—and it can all start with learning to save.

Learning To Save An Allowance

For most children, saving money can’t really begin until they have some sort of steady income. Otherwise, it can be difficult to persuade them that they should save whatever money they may receive on their birthdays and Christmas. Since I personally don’t believe in paying for regular house chores, my wife and I have opted to give our children an allowance starting when they are five years old.

I’m not saying spoil your children with an unrealistic allowance, as it is far more likely to develop a sense of narcissism in your teen. Instead, you can try something similar to what our family does, which is the amount they receive is a dollar for how many years old they are. So, my seventeen-year-old daughter receives $17 a week while my ten-year-old son receives $10. As the system is based on their ages, it helps my children feel like it is fairer that they don’t receive the same amount of money.

With the steady “income stream” of a weekly allowance established, it can be far easier to help children learn to save.

Helping Children Set Savings Goals

Even for myself, having a goal to save toward makes it far easier to save my money. For us adults, these goals may look like saving for retirement or for a desired home upgrade. But children often have different goals they consider important.

So, no matter if you wish you had started saving for retirement as a teenager, it is not very likely that saving for retirement in 50-60 years will really appeal to your child. And without your kid’s buy-in, the goal will likely be a failure.

Instead of pushing your money-saving goals onto your children, help them set their own savings goals. Some ideas you may want to offer to kickstart their thinking are:

  • Saving up for a high-end toy or game
  • Putting away money for their first car
  • Set aside money to spend when out with friends
  • Saving for a trip or experience

As you can see, some of these money saving goals can span a shorter time period. But that’s okay. In fact, it is a fairly realistic look at how most adults spend their money. The important thing is that you don’t just step in and give them the money to reach their savings goals.

Allowing Self-Directed Savings Provide Discipline

For example, my oldest daughter liked to buy snacks at school with her allowance, then mall crawl on the weekends. She managed to hold onto enough of her allowance until her weekend mall time, until one week, she was completely out of money to spend.

Naturally, in her mind, I would provide more, but to her surprise, I told her no. Rather than have her learn later in life when it was a bill she couldn’t pay, my daughter went with her friends to the mall but felt the sting of being left out of buying a new accessory and food court fare. That, far more than anything I could have said or lectured, taught her the importance of saving her money.

If you want to help your children save more proactively for the long-term, there are several great kids’ savings account options. All of my children have a savings account with their own long-term savings goals that they determined.

Much of what we teach our children involves practicing lifelong self-care, from learning self-discipline to saving for the future. As you go about teaching your children to save their money, I recommend you keep in mind that learning to be independent and self-sufficient is a lifelong process. It may be frustrating for you and your children at times to practice these techniques of self-care, but it can also be ultimately rewarding.

Author of this article, Tyler Jacobson, enjoys going to the mountains near his home in Draper, Utah to connect with his wife and children through camping, hiking, and quality time together. When he isn’t rebooting in the outdoors, he shares his fatherly experiences with the world through writing and creative work. Tyler shares the ups and downs of family life and the solutions he’s found through lengthy research and involvement in the industry and his own experiences to help parents everywhere. Follow Tyler on: Twitter

Key Differences Between Divorce and Mediation

Divorce can be an expensive business and if you get involved in a protracted court battle with your spouse then, at the end of the day, the only real winners, from any perspective, may be the lawyers. On the other hand, if you agree to a settlement without any legal representation, or have one imposed on you by a judge, then you might find yourself wishing that you had invested some money in good legal advice.

Mediation aims to square this circle. It does not replace legal advice, but it does aim to provide a secure with an impartial environment for two parties to talk, to be heard and to listen and, hopefully, to find a way forward on which they can both agree and which can then be translated into a formal legal agreement and, ultimately, signed off by a judge.

Divorce mediation is a specific branch of mediation, separate from family mediation  

The concept of mediation is nothing new and it has long been used in both commercial and domestic environments. Divorce mediation may have started out as a sub-niche of family mediation, but is now increasingly recognized as a distinct field with its own specific approach.

The main aim of divorce mediation is to allow the divorcing couple to reach an amicable agreement on their own terms without the expense of lawyers and without the confrontational atmosphere which can sometimes be generated when people enter a courtroom in a nervous state and with emotions running high. It will generally tackle the key sticking points in any divorce situation, including issues relating to children.

Divorce mediation can be a fairly lengthy process  

Although mediation (which focuses on solutions to problems) is very different from counselling (which focuses on reasons for behaviours) and can often achieve results in a much shorter time frame, the overall process might still be fairly lengthy, especially if children are involved.

The welfare of children is always paramount in any divorce process (at least in the eyes of the law and hopefully in the eyes of the parents) and can often be the most challenging aspect of a divorce to navigate since it can be both emotionally and practically challenging and, of course, will need to work for the children as well as the parents. Because of this, any arrangements involving children often work on the basis of an initial agreement, followed by a testing phase after which the success of the test is evaluated and, if necessary, adjustments made, after which it will be tested again until all parties (i.e. parents and children) are satisfied (or until it is agreed that the initial suggestion is not workable and a new approach is tried).

While a mediator will aim to be available to the parties for as long as they are needed, (and as long as they feel that their input is valuable), one of the underlying aims of mediation is to set up a situation where the mediator is no longer required and the parties can communicate with each other directly from a position of civility, respect and trust.

About the Author

  Midlands Dove are a team of mediation specialists based in the East Midlands, who focus on family mediation as well as workplace, civil and commercial mediation.

Your Partner Is Not A Mind Reader

Some people getting divorced stated it was partly because their partner did not fulfil their needs.  These individuals said if their partner really loved them, they would know what to do.  No, your partner is not a mind reader. How can a person expect another to know what is going around in their head? A spouse does not intuitively grasp what the other person is thinking and feeling.   Be specific, such as “I had a rough time at work today and want to chill for a few minutes.”

Relationships are built on good communication and not on assumptions. Ask questions to ensure that you are both on the same page. Do not assume that you both are feeling the same way. Use I statements to be clear in your communication. “I feel shut out when I sense something is wrong and you won’t talk.”

People have dealt out the silent treatment as if it were a punishment.  An American man fell in love with a European woman. When she was upset, this woman would sulk for a few days and refused to have a discussion no matter how much her partner tried. He could not read her mind nor make amends for perceived acts which may have bothered her. The man eventually walked away from a person whom he loved. Counseling may have helped this couple to communicate more effectively and avoid a break-up.

Help a partner to share their thoughts by asking open ended questions.  “You are more quiet tonight, what is going on?” Make it clear that you have no idea, so your partner does not expect you to telepathically know how they feel. A couple near my son with a young child, are getting divorced. The wife’s voice comes through his wall, saying “You don’t love me. If you did, you would have known that I wanted to be held when I went to sleep last night.” Or “You should have realized that I had a bad day at work and made dinner.”  The husband tells my son that if he had a clue how she felt, He would have cooked the meal and so forth.

Be specific what you need. My male friends want to fix whatever needs fixing – my problem, car or wherever it is.  I have to be clear, since they cannot read my mind. “I only want you to listen right now. I am going to vent about my co-worker and then we can move on to something else.” The guys then get that I want to let off some steam. If I do not express what I want, then before I am done with my story, these fellows have already formulated an action plan.

Please read more in Divorce Magazine www.divorcemag.com/blog/your-spouse-is-not-a-mind-reader/

Real Estate Today: It’s a Women’s Market

Home sales remain strong through much of the country, and single women are, in part, to thank for the housing boom. According to CNBC, unmatched maidens are more than twice as likely to buy a house as their brothers, uncles, and male friends. If you’re a lone lady ready to take on the responsibility of homeownership, keep reading for things you should consider, including how to evaluate your finances and ways to ease the burden of moving day.

Checks and Balances 

Your first and most important task when entering the real estate market for the first time is to know what you can afford. There are a number of factors that determine your future home’s value, including your income, outstanding debt, credit score, and current monthly expenses. SmartAsset   Smart Asset explains that a lower debt-to-income ratio may put you in a better position to qualify for a lower interest rate. Even if your credit isn’t perfect, there are still loans available if you have a FICO score of less than 600, although 620-plus will be required for a conventional loan. (Check your credit score at FreeCreditReport.com.)

Regardless of your income, assets, and liabilities, the vast majority of loan products require a down payment of between 3.5 percent and 20 percent of the home’s selling price. The higher the down payment, the lower the mortgage. If you’re purchasing a home after a divorce and you owned mutual property with your former spouse, you can use your portion of the proceeds from the sale of that property as a down payment. Keep in mind, however, that your first mortgage must be satisfied and any equity lines of credit or second mortgage products paid. You may also be required to pay capital gains taxes from the sale.

Once you have an idea of what you can afford, you can begin shopping for a mortgage provider. By speaking with a lender before you attend your first open house, you will have a realistic picture of your financial health and will know precisely what you can afford. Further, as the market remains fiercely competitive, having a pre-approval letter on hand may open more opportunities than would be available to the casual buyer.

When it’s time to begin looking at properties, start at the low end of your pre-approval. Keep in mind that the list price does not accurately reflect your future monthly expenses. In addition to the mortgage payment, you will also be responsible for property taxes, HOA fees (if applicable), PMI, and homeowners insurance. You will also pay closing costs, which Zillow explains can equal 5 percent of your home’s cost. Research the average list prices of homes in the area you want to live and don’t count out the possibility of expanding your search a few miles outside of city limits.

Now that you’ve gotten your finances in order, know how much you can afford, and have narrowed down your search parameters, you’ll need to apply “personal filters” that will weed out homes that don’t fit your lifestyle. Crime rates, access to public transportation, proximity to and quality of local schools, neighborhood amenities (such as nearby parks and playgrounds), and local property tax rates are all things you should consider.

Save the Date 

As the closing date draws near, you’ll want to plan ahead for the day. Consider hiring movers to handle the heavy load and contact the cable, internet, and utility providers for an estimated installation timeline. You will also save yourself lots of headaches and stress if you stay organized throughout the packing process and label boxes clearly so your movers can drop them in the right place at your new home.

Congratulations on your upcoming move. It’s both an exciting and anxiety-filled time, but it’s one made much easier on the mind, body, and soul (not to mention the wallet) if you take the time to know what you’re going into and avoid getting in over your head.

Author of this article, Tilda Moore, researches and writes about educational resources for openeducators.org. She is passionate about helping parents and teachers in providing kids with the best education possible. She works directly with teachers and other public education groups to ensure they are working toward our vision of constructing a reliable database of verified information

Finding a Home After Your Divorce

After a divorce, it can be difficult to continue living in the house you once shared with your partner. At the same time, however, searching for new property in the aftermath of a divorce can be just as tough. Not only are you in an emotionally vulnerable state but may also be experiencing a financial hit as well. The average divorce in America costs an average of $15,000, which is more than most families can comfortably afford. Some families choose to sell their original home to help pay for a new one, but this isn’t always possible when one party keeps the property.

Take Some Time to Think Things Through

After a divorce, most of us are in no sound mental state to be making major life decisions. A new home is a huge investment, and you shouldn’t be too hasty when searching through the listings. If you’re feeling stressed or frazzled, you may be more inclined to accept an unfair offer, or you may accidentally overlook problems with a property.

Instead of rushing into a new mortgage, take a few weeks to a few months of living in a rental property before committing to buying a home. You can use the time to find new accommodation that fits family life, or if your kids have flown the nest, then a smaller space that is comfortable without being poky. That way, you’ll be stepping into the transaction with a clear and sound mind. The emotional aftermath of your divorce is much less likely to influence your decisions, allowing you to set yourself up for success.

Take Stock of Your Financial Situation

Before checking your local real estate listings, you should be well aware of what finances you do (or don’t) have at your disposal. You should record your incoming and outgoing costs, slashing any unnecessary expenditures to increase your net income each month. You should also take into account any divorce-related fees that may impact your bank account, including lawyer costs and alimony payments. 

If you and your partner have any joint bank accounts or shared investments, you should make sure to separate your finances before your divorce is finalized. If you don’t, the actions of your ex-spouse may affect your credit score after the divorce, negatively impacting your ability to find a good mortgage rate. It’s also a good idea to remove your name from the mortgage on your current house so that you don’t end up being responsible for double payments each month.

Raise Your Credit Score

No matter what your mental, emotional, or financial state might be, raising your credit score is a surefire way to find a house at a more affordable price. The higher your credit score, the lower rates banks are willing to offer you on your mortgage. The easiest way to raise your score is simply by paying your bills on time, but you can also whittle down your debt, keep your credit balance low, and call your bank to settle any disputes on your record. You should also keep credit cards open, as closing accounts can increase your credit utilization ratio. 

In the months after a divorce, it can be a challenge to figure out your new living situation. If you plan on buying a house, it’s vital that you do your research before looking at local listings. By taking your time and understanding your finances, you can find your dream property at a price you can afford. 

Author of this article, Lucy Wyndham, is a freelance writer and former Financial Advisor. After a decade in industry, she took a step backward to spend more time with her family and to follow her love of writing.  

Guide For Dealing With Tricky Dating Situations After a Break Up Or Divorce

Dating again after divorce can seem like one is back in high school with the drama it can entail. One may have forgotten what it is like to have a crush on someone and hope that they feel the same way too. Or you feel like running in the opposite direction from an individual, when there is zero interest on your part for a date. Do not  feel coerced into going on a date, as you do not owe them anything. Same with going on a date out of pity. You could get tangled up in a mess when trying to break free down the road.

Have some stock phrases ready for turning someone down. When there was a frequent customer at work on the verge of asking me out, I bounced a few ideas off my girlfriends on how to say “no.” Asking me out did not catch me off guard and I turned him down, kindly, but firmly.

If on the fence about going out with someone, have a coffee date. You arrive separately and can talk for two hours if you hit it off, or make a hasty retreat if you do not.  There is less pressure in this casual setting.  Friends who meet people on Tinder revealed that their first date or two are over lattes. One can get a sense of character over the short time span.  A friend was asked out by a well-travelled, intelligent fellow.  They had much in common and he insisted on a coffee get-together the following week. When she explained that she had houseguests to entertain before work, he said since the coffeeshop was next door to her place of employment he would be there waiting. He hoped she could make it. She did not like that he felt her time should be spent with him rather than with her guests. She was glad  to have only had a quick coffee with tis controlling man, instead of a long evening

A painful part of dating is when only one party feels a strong attraction and the other does not. It is a delicate dance whether or not to share that you are attracted to them. The other person may reveal that they also feel a spark. Or they may look like a deer caught in the headlights with a look of fright on their face. When someone states that they want the relationship as friends only, accept it. You are not going to change how they feel about you. It can be tempting to think “Well, if I lose weight/whiten my teeth/ take up tennis (or whatever), they will find me irresistible.”  In this case it is clear that dating is not on the horizon. Think about if you can have a platonic relationship with your crush or if it is better to cut ties and move on.

One may not be aware that they are giving off mixed signals which can be confusing.  An example is, two male friends told me to stop wearing rings on my wedding finger.  When I protested that the jewellery was ethnic looking, they said “yes, up close, but from across a room they look like wedding rings on that finger. That keeps a guy from approaching you. Or you don’t want the men who are only interested in married women.” This goes for men too.  A woman sees the flash of silver or gold on the wedding finger and assumes it is a wedding band.

Please read more in Divorce Magazine  www.divorcemag.com/blog/tips-for-dealing-with-tricky-dating-situations-post-divorce/

4 Ways to Save Money on Food and Drinks in Moldova or Anywhere Else in the World

Whether you are a student or a tourist visiting Moldova with your Suzuki sv650, you will want to be keen on how you spend so that your money can last you long enough. Food makes up for a large portion of the expenses you make when visiting a place. In this article, we will cover 4 ways that will help you to save when shopping for food and drinks while in Moldova.

Many times, when people visit a place, or at least they are new in a town, they end up living on quick foods from roadside restaurants and noodles because they are readily available. But have you considered how that can be costly to you, both directly and indirectly? Take a few minutes to learn how to eat healthily but still save good money on your food and drinks expenses.

1. Take a Heavy and Well-Balanced Breakfast at Your Hotel

We know that breakfast is the most important meal of the day. Many hotels in Moldova provide free breakfast for their customers. The fees you pay to lodge cover the food expenses. It is vital that you take a balanced breakfast to kickstart your day with vigor.

Given the opportunity to have free breakfast can, however, be misused and abused. You must know what is good for your health. You have to choose the food combinations that will not lead to stomach upsets and add real energy to your body for a long day. You can take a mug of beverage, a snack, and a fruit.

It is ideal that you take your breakfast as per your doctor’s recommendations to ensure that you stay healthy all day. You should also avoid taking too much. Remember the word heavy does not literally mean a full plate of cheese. You are advised to take up to 700 calories for your breakfast. Eating more than enough can make it harder for your stomach to digest the food and may lead to unstable running bowels.

Skipping your breakfast is not good for your daily routine in Moldova. If you have to take a snack for the day, keep it discreet to avoid being problems with the hotel management. It can help you to save a few bucks that you would spend on a roadside snack vendor.

2. Buy Your Foods from the Supermarket

Supermarkets in town are ideal for stocking up foodstuff for your stay. You will need to book a hostel that allows people to cook their own food when staying in Moldova. In this way, you can choose what to eat and how to prepare it for yourself. If you have a long stay in Moldova, a rental house will be ideal compared to hotel rooms. Buying foods in bulk is cheaper than buying groceries at the roadside.

When you have stocked food, you can cook and carry some for your daily needs at the workplace or in the fields. It is healthy to cook food for yourself because you know what ingredients are good for you, duration of cooking, and you will keep the hygiene conditions in a cooking environment. By so doing, you will stay away from stale and poorly handled foods by the street corners while you are out.

Staying healthy from home is one way of ensuring that you save money you could have spent for medical bills. If you find it hard to carry food in your backpack when going out, go for products like Cellucor C4 Original Pre-Workout. It will keep you going for the day, giving you the instant energy you need that lasts longer.

You can also buy your wine from supermarkets to avoid wasting time and more money drinking in bars. The Moldovan wines and spirits are made from fresh grapes planted in the country. They are of high quality with various varieties and origins, where the European type is dominant.

3. Carry Your Own Water Bottle

Are you going out for a long day? You may need to take water with you so that you can take a sip in case you get warm from walking long distances. Moldova in Summer is going to be quite warm, and sometimes very hot to walk out in the sun. You will experience fast rates of dehydration, and you will need to intake more water.

Sometimes you will find it hard to walk around with a heavy bottle of water. It is, therefore ideal to carry a small bottle that you can refill for free whenever you find a chance. For instance, if you are eating at a restaurant, you will have the opportunity to fill your bottle with drinking water without any extra bills. You could save on your expenses for drinking water in shops.

Carrying water is good for your health. But be sure that you will not consume too much. You know that the more you drink water, the more you will want to visit the bathroom. In Moldova, you would incur expenses to use public toilets. This could be going against the aim of saving money on drinks. You can hold up the urge until you get to gas stations or other places with free public toilets.

4. Save Money with Parties

Eating and drinking parties could be viewed as more expensive in some regions. But consider a scenario where a friend sends you a birthday invite to their place. You can enjoy free food and drinks, and if you have to contribute, the amount will be less than what you will pay drinking at the bar.

Drinks like the Dimple pinch can be served at birthday parties. You would grab your bottle there and save a few dollars from your drink expenses.

For party organizers who are on a tight budget, the Bacardi zombie will suffice. The affordable drink costs less and can serve more guests at a lower cost. It is still important to make sure that you respect your health when you are out partying. Excessive drinking of alcoholic drinks can lead to health risks. But then you can have a delicious piece of dark chocolate as it has several health benefits.

Another thing to remember about eating at parties is that wherever there is a big gathering, it is easier for the foods to be contaminated. So you need to take caution if you are wary of your general health. While trying to save some coins on food and drinks, you may end up spending more on medicine in case of some unwelcome experiences from food.

Author’s Bio
“Jessica Smith has been writing for a few years now. She is a writer by day and reader by night. She was a very quiet child but writing always inspired her and that is why she began writing in her free time. She loves reading, be it a newspaper, a book or anything. She also loves cooking, traveling and dancing. She wants to be a successful writer as writing is her passion.”

Combat Your Teen’s Narcissism By Teaching Them Sincere Empathy

Teenagers are notorious for two things—teen angst and narcissism. In fact, many parents wonder where they went wrong in bringing up their kids to become so self-centered.

The good news is, your teen’s self-absorption is not a reflection of your parenting. They are just going through the normal phases of growing up. It turns out that being egocentric is a normal part of teen development, as it helps them figure out their unique identities separate from their families.

However, normal teen narcissism should not be confused with narcissistic personality disorder (NPD). The latter is a diagnosable condition and people with the disorder normally experience difficulties in having normal lives.

Also, those with NPD often struggle to maintain healthy relationships, and the disorder usually affects their education or employment. Teens who are diagnosed with NPD require lengthy treatment and a change of environment like that provided at a therapeutic boarding school.

Dealing With Your Narcissistic Teen

The key to dealing with a self-centered teen lies in building empathy. You will need to find ways to help your teen learn how to understand and share other people’s feelings. Here are some strategies that might help.

Get your teen to volunteer.

Volunteering has several benefits for teens including opening their eyes to what others go through. Through volunteering, your teen will learn how to be a giver, not just a taker. They will come to experience the satisfaction that comes with helping those who are in need.

Help them see other alternatives.

Teens have a way of assuming other people’s behavior is somehow related to them. For instance, your teen might think that the teacher who gave him a poor grade doesn’t like him. So help your teen see that while his conclusion is a definite possibility, there could be other alternatives as well.

Don’t overindulge your teen.

Set limits on how much cash or presents you give your teen and avoid showering them with too many lavish experiences or gifts. Those only reinforce the notion that their self-worth lies in material things and showing off to others. Instead, teach your teenager that self-worth comes from the inside out and help them develop confidence in their abilities.

Limit their social media use.

Social media can encourage your teen to become superficial and obsessed with having perfect looks or material items. Limiting their screen time is a good place to start. You can also encourage them to take up other pursuits and hobbies that will help them become well-rounded teenagers instead.

Don’t shield your teen from failure.

Another excellent way to fight your teen’s narcissism is allowing them to face the consequences of their actions and not shielding them from life’s failures. Allowing your teen to experience disappointment and failure once in a while is actually good for their healthy development. Just remember to equip them with the necessary problem-solving skills to address situations on their own should they get into trouble.

While it’s normal for teens to be a little narcissistic, you should still encourage your teen to change their behavior by instilling the values of empathy in them.

Author of this article, Tyler Jacobson, enjoys going to the mountains near his home in Draper, Utah to connect with his wife and children through camping, hiking, and quality time together. When he isn’t rebooting in the outdoors, he shares his fatherly experiences with the world through writing and creative work. Tyler shares the ups and downs of family life and the solutions he’s found through lengthy research and involvement in the industry and his own experiences to help parents everywhere. Follow Tyler on: Twitter

How to pack a backpacking pack for a Multi-Day Hiking Trip

Packing a backpack is the big goal for every adventure junky and if it is a multi-day hiking trip, immaculate organization and storage of each item is necessary. This enables ease of locating them besides being comfortable on shoulder blades as the load is scientifically spread. To increase the comfort on the trail, strategically placing specific items makes the load feel lighter. Listed below are a few tips and methods of packing the backpack that would help store everything one might need on trekking trip without experiencing an ache in the neck or back.

 Piling and compiling the stuff

Pile the stuff needed such as shelter/sleeping bag, food, cooking gear, clothes and other small stuff needed during daytime such as sunscreens, batteries, flashlight, etc. This will ensure that neither items are left nor extra items are taken. While exploring Sydney’s wilderness, get in touch with best roof racks Sydney has to offer to get a customised roof rack installed on your vehicle for adventurous trips and have ample of space to carry the luggage safely. These racks are ruggedly constructed for professional adventurers who explore the wildest terrains having extreme road conditions.

Divide and organize stuffing in layers

A good rule for packing in a systematic manner is to divide the backpack into three layers namely bottom, middle and top. Always pack the bottom first followed by keeping the heavier things in the centre and hive up the top with the light essentials for the trip.

Bottom’s Layout   

Things required lastly and are lightly weight gear such as sleeping bag, item for camp, loose clothing, etc. can be kept at the bottom of the backpack.

If the hiking trip is in the rainy areas, it’s always better to line the backpack with the trash bag so that the items stay dry. Use lightweight waterproof compression sack for keeping the sleeping bag dry. If you are taking a sleeping pad along that is bulky by construction, save the space inside the backpack by strapping the same on the outside of the bag.

The right stuff for the middle layer

The middle section of the backpack is heavy items accommodating space.   All the cumbersome items such as stove and fuel, pots and pans, food, camp mugs & shoes, toiletries, and bear canisters, etc. are stuffed here. Using such an arrangement will relieve the backpack from unnecessary strain and stress.

Stuffing clothes and other small items such as tent body, rain fly around the bear canister can help it stuck in the centre.  Keeping the foodstuff in the middle layer also protect it from rodents.

Crowning the backpack with accessories

Use the top or uppermost compartment of the backpack, that is usually removable, as a daypack during hiking sessions.

It should accommodate cooking gear, an extra layer of clothes and other small accessories/necessities such as sunglasses, a first-aid kit, quick snacks, compass, rain jacket, water filter, bathroom kit, electronics. Carry lightweight small sized dry sack to store the electronics in this section.

The brain/lid of the backpack

The lid usually referred to as ‘the brain’ of the backpack should store map, headlamps, camera, quick snacks, multi-tool kit, sunscreen, a small-sized bug spray and other utilities needed as hands-on. Hip belt pockets are also ideal to store such stuff as it has zippered pouches attached.

If the hiking partner is Honda Africa Twin bike, even the heaviest backpack can be easily crowned on its aluminium luggage plate supplied with stainless steel clamps and bolts.

Snug fitting by tightening compression belts 

The compression straps on the exterior of the backpack perform the function of stabilizing and adjusting the weight as per the requirement. Make sure that these are loose while packing is in progress. After packing, buckle and tighten up the straps. Tightening ensures that the stuff inside the backpack does not shift while hiking. The straps help hiker stay steady on uneven terrains as the weight of the backpack doesn’t shift while moving. Tighten the side compression straps to eliminate the empty spaces in the sides of the backpack.

The compression straps on the main exterior buckle should be fastening the brain of the backpack in a compressed manner so that it stays stationary during trekking.

A mid-sized backpack designed for intermediate distance is ideal for hiking on KTM bikes having free load storage on the outside and ample of internal storage space too. These are available as KTM parts online on genuine bike accessories selling sites.

The loose loops on the exterior

Utilize the loops on the exterior of the backpack to secure long, stiff and heavy items such as folding trekking and tent poles, ropes, shovels, or lightweight collapsible seat. Hook carabiners, clips, and other not-so-heavy gears on these loops. But take due care as this stuff will keep on hanging or swinging back and forth, hitting the surroundings often.

 Conclusion

Get the backpack stuffed with desired stuff but keep it well organized so that the weight doesn’t fall heavily upon the shoulders and hiking trip stays memorable in a joyous tone.

Author’s Bio:   

Harold Camaya is a marketing enthusiast and an influencer in Different verticals. She keeps special interest in the impact of visual branding on business growth. She has been writing for a long time now and has a interest in traveling as well.

 

 

 

 

Four Mobile Bars Serving Food, Wine, And Booze

Lenton bar 

Winter is almost over and summer is just lurking around the corner. It’s finally time to head outdoors and indulge yourself in brunches, parties, and galas. This year instead of just flocking into regular clubs and restaurants for fun, try out the newly trending mobile bars serving food, wine, and booze on the go! The food industry revolution that began with food trucks and pop-up eateries has now extended to bars on wheels, transforming any space into a great time. Not only will these booze cruisers quench your thirst during spring, but also help make your weddings, garden brunches, beach parties, birthday celebrations, and themed corporate events a grand success. All your dreams of lavish vineyards, paddocks, warehouses, and reserves on your own front yard can finally come true! The mobility and versatility of the services of these vintage caravans are fast improving with their increased demand. From bicycle inspired setups to rehabbed school buses these wino vans ride around in different shapes and sizes providing you all the world-class delicacies and drinks you desire.

Here is a list of four such bars, each from a different continent:

Lenton bar    

Lenton bar which is fitted to a trailer is located in Canberra and is a personal favorite of many Australians. It was founded by Amit Oberoi, Manuk Samarasinghe and Matt Harris, who are well versed in the hospitality industry. The idea that people are shifting away from traditional fixed-bars and expecting an innovative experience that’s in their control, is what inspired them to begin this endeavor. Bringing the party wherever you want it the crew at Lenton bar efficiently arranges various events, markets, games, and weddings for a variety of clients. They serve diverse cuisines along with some classic beverages like the Southside cocktail and gin and tonic. Lenton’s license permits them to function from 7 am to 12 am works perfectly fine for those who want to start off early in the day with a wine toast and for the party animals wanting to rave late into the night. The bar prides itself in partnering and collaborating with other businesses like event management companies and platter vendors that aid them in further enhancing their customer satisfaction.

The Yard 

A year-round food and drink village that has been created out of recycled shipping containers, the Yard is located in San Francisco, USA. A former school bus that has now been converted into a wine bus is a complete treat for your eyes, stomach, and soul.   If you are a wine enthusiast this is the right fit for you as the bar brings a rotating selection of wine from Sonoma, Napa, and Washington. Their beer menu is the second highlight, with beer from Anchor brewing company being their star. Their friendly staff, humble service and sumptuous nibbles like fish, tacos and garlic lime potato wedges are what makes the Yard a hit.

Drinkdings

Drinkdings in Singapore works with a motto why go to the bar when you can bring the bar to you? Champagne, cocktails, mocktails, shooters, wines, beers name it and they have it. Drinkdings is the most accurate house party solution. You should try the signature cocktail made from drinks like the macallan 18, andre champagne. They’ll keep the drinks flowing for more than two hours non stop while you enjoy your rendezvous with loved ones Their finger foods and bar bites are simply otherworldly. If it’s your birthday Drinkdings is who you should be calling. They’ll cook up a customized birthday invite cocktail just for you which will compliment your cake and personality. Sounds like a birthday of a lifetime, doesn’t it?

The Roseberry

Imagine riding in an elegant double-decker bus. Now spice it up and picture alcohol being served inside. Sounds heavenly right? Well, you can come back to reality now as this is exactly what the bus bar in London, the Roseberry has in store for you! A 1966 London Routemaster has literally been converted into a cocktail bar on the ground floor and a dining area on top that is completed with a raised roof that can be opened on hot days. One can wine and dine, or pick and play any one of their games, which they got a whole cupboard full. They have high-quality sound systems and TVs, so you can enjoy sports matches or not miss out on your favorite shows while moving around the city.  Roseberry also works with popular event planners and top chefs like Mark Hix and renowned restaurants like Zuma. Roseberry is where you should be taking your partner on a rosy romantic date as it is the bar’s specialty and enjoy it to the fullest with a glass of the divine Laphroaig 18-year-old single malt scotch with malted milk biscuits.

Now you know how to get the best food and wine without breaking a sweat, with such wonderfully convenient mobile bartending remedies. Don’t stress out as your booze is on wheels coming home to you! So ‘raise the bar’ prepare yourself to amazed by these unconventional moving bars.

Author’s Bio
“Jessica Smith has been writing for a few years now. She is a writer by day and reader by night. She was a very quiet child but writing always inspired her and that is why she began writing in her free time. She loves reading, be it a newspaper, a book or anything. She also loves cooking, traveling and dancing. She wants to be a successful writer as writing is her passion.”

Reference articles: www.canberratimes.com.au/national/act/booze-on-wheels-canberra-s-new-love-of-mobile-bars-20180919-p504qw.html

www.winemag.com/gallery/booze-wine-on-wheels-get-your-next-drink-at-these-7-mobile-bars/

www.winemag.com/gallery/booze-wine-on-wheels-get-your-next-drink-at-these-7-mobile-bars/#gallery-carousel-3/

 

 

 

 

What Are the First-Year Costs That Come with Raising a Baby?

When you feel you’re ready to have a baby, it can be exciting as well as overwhelming. Having a baby means expanding your family, but it also means that you’ll have some logistics to consider. Namely, what about the financial considerations that come with having a child?

There are short- and long-term factors to think about. In the short-term, you’ll have to think about the medical costs related to pregnancy and labor and delivery, as well as maternity and paternity leave from your job. You’ll have initial investments for items such as cribs and other baby accessories. Then, you’ll have to think about health insurance for your new child and childcare when you do return to work.

These first-year costs can add up very quickly, and they require planning and strategizing to manage them effectively.

LendEDU recently surveyed 1,000 parents with a child who was at the time of the research, at least a year-old but not older than three. The goal of the research was to determine what to expect when it comes to raising a child and the costs it requires within the first year of the baby’s life. The survey took place over two days in February 2019 and was conducted by online polling company Pollfish.

The following are highlights of the research.

On Average, a Baby’s First Year Will Cost $13,186

The research indicates that the year-one costs for a new baby amount to an average of $13,186, with a median cost of $6,000. This number represents quite a jump from a 2010 USDA report, that showed the average household would spend $12,000 during the first year of a baby’s life.

  • For around ¼ of the poll respondents, first-year spending for a new baby represented anywhere from 21 to 30 percent of annual income.
  • 13 percent said it was 31 to 40 percent of take-home pay, and eight percent said they had to spend up to 50 percent of their income.
  • Eight percent spent more than half of their annual income on costs related to the baby.

How Is the Total First Year Cost Broken Down?

So, more than $13,000 is quite a bit in a year. What is that spent on? The costs break down in the following way, based on the LendEDU research:

  • Toys, diapers, and gear like strollers was the most expensive category. These costs represented 30 percent of total spending, amounting to $3,965.
  • 28 percent of spending went to food, which was on average $3,692 of the total first-year costs.
  • Next was healthcare, taking up 17 percent of total first-year spending.
  • Childcare accounted for 13 percent of first-year costs for a new baby, and behind that was miscellaneous expenses at 12 percent of the total.

Did Parents Save in Advance?

With such high costs associated with having a baby, did parents plan, save and budget in advance of having a child?

58 percent of people who participated in the survey said they started saving money to prepare, although 42 percent said they didn’t budget ahead-of-time. 52 percent of parents who did say they started budgeting and saving didn’t save enough for all costs.

Many parents also underestimated how much it would really cost. The average parent in the survey expected to spend $9,371 on a newborn, with their estimates being off by more than $3,800.

So what’s the takeaway? Babies are expensive, and it’s important for parents to have an idea of just how expensive and start financially planning and preparing as soon as possible before having a child.

Author of this article is Mike Brown  at  lendedu.com/

Ways To Set Boundaries During Divorce

Divorce brings many changes and one of them is a set of new boundaries. What was once okay may seem intrusive after a couple has separated. The key is to determine what feels right and what is uncomfortable. When married, a man and woman may have called each other during the day. This can be too much contact, so texting on a need-to-know basis is an appropriate boundary during divorce. In an acrimonious one, direct contact may be intimidating for either spouse. A way to protect boundaries in this situation, is to have all communication go to a neutral third party. This way, spouses feel safe and are not be the target of vindictiveness. Our two collaborative lawyers assigned a mediator right at the beginning to do this service for us.   If you feel boundaries are being trampled upon during the proceedings, speak to your attorney about how changes can be made.

The divorce process itself is stressful even when it is amicable.  One feels stretched in many directions. This is the time to start saying “No” to taking on new things Look at current obligations and decide which ones could be dropped. Although clubs, committees and volunteer work are rewarding, they can eat up precious time and drain energy.  Focus on what you really enjoy doing and let the others go.  Be firm with boundaries when others try to stop you from resigning or demand that you sign up for new projects.  Draw up a plan for what you have time for and which ones that do not make the cut.  This can be temporary and wham the divorce is over, some of these activities can be added back into your agenda.

On a personal level, you have the right to start declining requests to help out neighbors, family and friends.  If you give a co-worker rides, babysit for a pal or do other kind acts, this is the time to pull back.  Your first responsibility is to yourself and your children. Being frazzled helps no one.  When people do not support your new boundaries, stay firm.   For example, during divorce if it is no longer feasible to take Grandma out every week, do not let family members guilt trip you about it. Stand your ground when being unable to continue routines.

A sticky issue with boundaries comes up during proceedings regarding the marital home. Technically both spouses are co-owners. Establish guidelines regarding how the spouse that moved out has access, especially when their possessions are still inside.   Please read more  www.divorcemag.com/blog/setting-boundaries-during-divorce/

9 Tips for Men Facing Financial Hardships During Divorce

As a man facing divorce, there is a lot you go through with little support. You might be constantly wondering how things will turn out at the other end- whether or not you will get enough time with your kids, how you and your spouse will work everything out, and so on. One of the major concerns for fathers getting divorced is the time and money spent on the process.

Some men understand the importance of saving money during the divorce process; for other men, some critical divorce issues end up hogging most of their attention. Either way you look at it, finances are a pressing matter worthy of concern during a divorce process.

Since divorces come with a price tag, it is important to consider how much you can afford to shell out in the process. The last thing you want is a lot of money wasted in the divorce process.

Maintain your desired quality of life throughout the divorce process by using these tips.

Build a Trustworthy Team

While going through a divorce, men are often prone to feeling intense emotions. The emotionally charged circumstances might compel you to make the wrong choices. This is when you need a trusted financial advisor, lawyer, and accountant by your side.

These professionals can help you make wise financial decisions all through the divorce process, allowing you to save money you might have otherwise spent in the spur of the moment. Financial decisions should be based on logic more than on emotions. Seek help from a trusted team of professionals to guide you along the economic lines.

Expensive is NOT Always Worthy

Quit believing that all expensive services are the best. You might feel inclined to hire the most expensive lawyer in town to win child custody for men in New Jersey and negotiate alimony.

However, a lot of other factors play a role in determining how efficient any professional is.

Expensive is not always the best. Take the time to understand in depth all the services you need and make informed financial decisions. Considering your spending power and your post-divorce future will help you create a spending limit. Learn about the quality of services offered by various professionals (therapists, lawyers, financial assistants, etc.) and ponder their importance to your situation. Calculated spending will prevent you from wasting money in useless places.

Separate Your Cards and Financial Accounts

You don’t want an emotional drama surrounding finances while going through a divorce. If they are not already, separate your joint accounts and credit cards right away. This will save you the hassle of monitoring how much you or your spouse is spending after filing for divorce.

Often, these issues spring up during the divorce process, opening channels to unnecessary disputes. Reduce the potential for conflict and keep finances straight and simple throughout the divorce process.

Get a Real Picture of Your Budget

Family lawyers for men in Nutley, NJ suggest fathers and men going through a divorce plan and chalk out their budgets during divorce. They also encourage their clients to project their financial needs post-divorce.

The financial picture changes a lot after divorce with one less adult contributing to the household. If there are children involved in your case, consider how much you will potentially spend on their needs.

Track your expenses and cut back where you can. Outlining a crystal-clear budget will help you predict financial responsibilities and plan your expenditure during divorce accordingly.

Straighten Out Financial Imbalances   

If your spouse has always kept track of finances, this needs to change. Try to keep up with the finances as soon as you file for a divorce. You need to know how much money comes into the household and where it is spent. If your spouse has been in charge of finances up until now, ask them to involve you.

Knowing about the flow of finances in your household will help you negotiate a fair settlement when you enter the divorce process. Get on a level footing with your spouse when it comes to handling finances and documenting them.

Set into a New Lifestyle

There are a lot of changes after a divorce. Your income might not allow you to keep the family home, and you might have to do away with some of your habits that involve spending heavily.

Get into a fresh lifestyle where you prioritize your needs and responsibilities and plan finances wisely. Your post-divorce living standard will likely drop to some extent. Prepare for the change to make the process easier.

It makes sense to downsize your expenses and move into a smaller home until you can get back on your feet and afford the lifestyle you are used to.

Strive for Financial Independence

Fathers’ rights allow men to receive alimony payments when their spouse was the higher earner in the household. Either way, aim to be financially independent and not rely on your spouse’s child support or alimony. Life can take unexpected turns, and your spouse might lose their job or need to take time off from work.

When that happens, you should be in a condition to support yourself and your children. Focus on improving your earning capacity so you are prepared to take on any financial challenge in the future.

Protect Valuable Assets

If your spouse might hide or sell assets that were purchased with marital funds, protect them. Know that these assets will be valued and split during the divorce process.

Safeguard these assets while not hiding the fact that they are in your possession. Never sell any property you bought with marital cash during the course of a divorce. You will need to pay for any sold assets at the time of the divorce settlement negotiations.

Avoid Impulsive Decisions

Family lawyers for men advise you to refrain from making any major financial decisions for at least 6 months during your divorce process and after your divorce gets finalized.

Don’t move to a new city or change your job on impulse.

Family lawyers for men believe that with a little caution and patience, men can sail through these hard times. Adapt to circumstances and be prepared for a challenging financial future; men are often the ones who pay child support and alimony while also supporting their own lifestyle.

While divorce can be frustrating and devastating, it’s like any other change that feels highly uncomfortable at first until you settle down in the routine. Know that things will get better. Continue to make the right choices. It is also desirable to take help from therapists to keep your sanity intact and financial advisors to get a clearer picture of your finances and plan ahead of time.

About Author :-

Brad M. Micklin, Esq., is the lead family lawyer Montclair and managing member at The Micklin Law Group, LLC. For more than 22 years, he has helped men through some of the toughest, most emotional experiences in their lives, including child custody battles.

10 Dreamy Places To Visit With Your Partner

Travelling is unquestionably one of the best ways of spicing up a relationship. A romantic getaway with your soulmate is something you probably need to consider to keep that candle of joy burning. Traveling to a new place will definitely go a long way to help you create lasting memories.

But what are some of the places you can visit? There are thousands of places that have a romantic vibe. Some of them may actually be right there in your locality.  In this article, we will unveil ten places that should be on your traveling bucket list and what makes them so special. 

Santorini, Greece   

Santorini is an island in the Aegean sea. And you should definitely try seafood from this places, it’s yummy. This small town is known for its beauty and traditional architecture inspired by the Greek culture. One of the most iconic places in Santorini is Oia. It provides one of the world’s best sunset views you can ever imagine. Imagine watching the orange ball kiss the sea from a cliff on the edge of the beautiful town; isn’t that romantic?

Santorini also houses some of the best beach cottages in the world. They make it a nice destination for a honeymoon. What makes a trip to Santorini even more appealing is the fact that accommodation and hotel services are fairly priced as compared to other similar holiday destinations around the world.   

Bali, Indonesia   

How about a walk on the black sandy beach? You got it right, it’s actually black. This may sound odd and creepy but believe you me, it’s magical once you get there. Karamus Beach in Bali is one of the most beautiful places to visit. A walk on the expansive beach with your loved one in the morning breeze can be quite romantic.

As much as black sands draw your attention, there is a lot more you can do in Bali. It offers a good venue for water sports such as jet skiing and board surfing. You should definitely give it a try sometime.  Bali also houses some of the world’s classiest beach hotels. Imagine sharing a bottle of the prestigious Dalmore with your other half as you watch the subtle sea tempest from a balcony of a hotel just off the black beach. Fancy, right? 

Venice, Italy  

Venice is a city with a rich history. Its history is best portrayed in its prowess in performing arts. You should definitely pay a visit to one of those opera theatres in Venice. You will appreciate how Italy’s culture and traditions are integrated into modern stage performances. The peak of it is the dazzling classical music from the opera’s own live orchestra.

If you are a fan of travel shows on television and blogs, then you have most probably heard about the famous gondola rides. It’s so calming to ride in a gondola through the grand canal and the Po River that literally flows in the middle of the city. Venice literally oozes with romantic experiences.  Saint Tropez, France  

You probably have not heard of this one that much. It is a popular notion that France is the land of Romance. I can’t think of a better place in France to justify this other than Saint Tropez. It is a coastal town and therefore provides all those beach and ocean niceties.

My favorite place in Saint Tropez is its outskirts. It has this nature vibe that you definitely ought to try. Infamously, it is surrounded by beautiful countryside with spanning vineyards. You should try getting a few bottles of wine from there.   It also has really nice roads that you can enjoy taking a drive or a ride on. It won’t be such a bad idea for you and your lover to grab a dr650 and cruise through the hilly terrain of the countryside of Saint Tropez. Don’t forget to carry a tool pouch if you are planning for a bike ride, you don’t want to get stuck in the middle of nowhere in case of any breakdown. 

Masai Mara, Kenya    

Have you experienced Africa’s tropical climate? You should definitely try it for a change. Pay Masai Mara a visit especially in the month of August. You and your loved one should try and go check out the wildebeest migration; one of the wonders of the world. 

Cartagena, Colombia   

This port city in Columbia is a gem in the tourism world. It is one of the most beautiful places you and your significant half can visit. It will be quite enjoyable to walk down history lane and mingling with people of Colombian origin by getting to learn about their traditions. 

Swiss Alps   

Ice skiing is one of the most thrilling activities. The Swiss Alps will definitely spike up your adrenaline. You don’t have to be a protégé at it to try it out. The good news is, you can get experts to guide you through it. You can as well choose to take a retreat in one of those mountain cabins.

Is hiking your thing? If yes, then the hilly ranges adjacent to the Alps are definitely your place. You and your lover can grab the chance to be part of a camping pilgrimage. A wild adventure will definitely give you a chance to put your survival and exploration skills to the test. 

Whistler, Canada  

There is love in the mountains! Add spice to your relationship by surprising your spouse with a trip to Whistler. Rent a cottage and have the experience of having a model home in the lofty mountains.  To add more taste to it, you can visit the Whistler art galleries and gaze upon the artistic prowess that adorns the walls. You will also get to chance to see the trophies of some of the mountain’s almost extinct wildlife species.

Don’t forget to pay a visit to the fire and ice show. You will be intrigued to watch some of the world’s most daring acrobats perform amidst flaming rings. 

Tulum, Mexico   

This is truly one of the most exquisite and exotic places any couple should visit. It’s not by surprise that it is one of the most popular honeymoon destinations. Tulum has a good number of hotels and restaurants that will allow the two of you to try the Mexican cuisine.  A visit to Tulum is not complete without engagement in the Mexican festivities. It is a chance to experience their adorable and intricate culture first hand. Notably, Mexico is known for its cordial and welcoming people. 

Hawaii, USA  

This is one of the most exciting places to tour. Besides its beautiful beaches and five-star hotels, it’s nightlife stands out. If you are a couple that treasures a good party time, then Hawaii is a good choice. It houses some of the most lively clubs. You can also get a chance to attend concerts grazed upon by some of the world’s best musicians.

Truly, love is not complete without happiness and a bottle of Weller bourbon. Make your relationship interesting by visiting some of these places. It will definitely be worth your while. Love is about making memories that you look back at during hard times and see more reason to stick together.

 

 

6 Essential Outdoor Must Have Things For Every Road Trip

Road trips? Yay!  

Road trips have given traveling a whole new meaning. The experience and adventures you enjoy from exploring the outdoors, with friends and family are just what makes a road trip perfect. According to scientific research, published by Sage Journals, traveling helps to increase your state of well-being and makes you happy.

So, whether you are traveling in your SUV or, you are the wild, adventurous type, and you prefer the Suzuki SV650 for your trip, you absolutely cannot afford to forget the essentials. Besides, what’s the fun in traveling too light?

Now, these items are very essential to make your road trip worthwhile and keep it interesting.  Safety Items 

For every trip, the number one item that should be on your packing list is safety items. According to Researchgate, people are more terrified when they are traveling, without taking some safety precautions. Now, fear for your safety, can spoil the fun for you, on your road trip, so, you should pack these safety items, just in case;  

 

  • First aid kit.
  • Outdoor safety wear.
  • Body pouches and money belts.
  • Luggage locks.
  • Tool pouch fo the essential car/bike tools.

Fasten your seatbelt! Remember safety always comes first.

Entertainment  

To keep your road trip fun and not boring, you need to also pack some entertainment items. Whether you a music person, or you love to read books (this is an opportunity to finally finish that book), or you love to play games, entertainment items should be on, or you love to play games, entertainment items should be on your list.

To be realistic, not all parts of the road trip will be trailed with amusement; there will be those weird, awkward and boring moments, and these entertainment items are sure to thaw the ice. 

  • Your playlist on your iPod,
  • Your phone,
  • Your camera to record your memories, every step of the way,
  • Games (could be card games as well as board games, or even word games)

Really, anything that you know will keep the road trip exciting all through is what you should pack.

Food items

Now, this is absolutely important, road trips are very long, and sometimes the distance between towns, where you can find a store, is usually far. According to the Centre for Disease Control, CDC, it is better to be careful, when indulging in local cuisine of your travel destination.

Depending on how long your trip will be, or how far your destination is, you need to remember to pack some snacks and yes, water is also important. Also, ensure that whatever food you pack is light and hydrating. 

Get yourself a sweet chocolate box, this never grows old.

  • Cereal bars.
  • Some bowls to put the food.
  • Potato chips.
  • Water, loads of it
  • Durable bottle.
  • Fruits.
  • Toothpicks.
  • Plastic bags.
  • Juice box.
  • Sliced bread.
  • Thermos flask.
  • Crackers.
  • And yes, your favorite snacks.

Comfort Items  

These are items that will make you comfortable all through your road trip. From your pillow to sunglasses, these items add comfort to the fun of your road trip. Imagine, you needed to pee, but you forgot your toiletries.

There are a number of them, and you should put them organized on your list. It is better to travel organized and prepared. There is actually a new way to pack all your favorite comfort items efficiently, the use of packing cubes. It is effective and clutter free.

  • Warm clothes.
  • Day bag.
  • Umbrella.
  • Hiking boots and shoes (remember it’s the outdoors, so live a little).
  • Insect repellents.
  • Sunscreens.
  • Head torch.
  • Pillows.
  • Sanitizer.
  • Toiletry bag.

Car or Bike 

Depending on whether you are traveling in your car or on your bike (the Suzuki SV650 comes highly recommended for your trip) www.svrider.com>forum), there are some essentials you should pack.

You really do not want to get stranded on the road. So when you are packing what you need, also remember your car, because it can be quite embarrassing, having a flat tire or engine issues. 

  • Before your trip, check your engine and make sure it is in top shape.
  • Spare tires.
  • Carjack
  • Engine oil.
  • Tools pouch.
  • Your driver’s license (you don’t want to get on the wrong side of the law).
  • Car registration and insurance information.
  • Extra car/bike keys.

Miscellaneous items 

These are other items that are needed for your road trip. They can be called the general road trip essentials. These items can be gotten from www.amazon.com or any departmental store near you.

  • Electronic battery pack
  • Cooler
  • Laundry bag
  • Swiss Army knife
  • Rooftop Cargo

Note that all these items are the absolutely essential things to bring along for your trip. You can decide to take other things as well, so long as your car is not too cramped up.

With these items on your list and in your bag, your road trip is set to be a very memorable and interesting one. Enjoy the ride.

Author’s Bio
“Jessica Smith has been writing for a few years now. She is a writer by day and reader by night. She was a very quiet child but writing always inspired her and that is why she began writing in her free time. She loves reading, be it a newspaper, a book or anything. She also loves cooking, traveling and dancing. She wants to be a successful writer as writing is her passion.”

Going It Alone: Tips for a Divorced Single Parent Expecting a Disabled Child

Becoming a parent is a time of exhilaration and anxiety. You’re thrilled to bring a new child into the world, but at the same time, you worry about the logistical and financial challenges that come with having a child. However, your job becomes a little harder if you’re a divorced single parent expecting a disabled child. There are questions and concerns about health care, insurance, and living environment that need to be addressed to ensure you’re as prepared as possible for the demands of parenting a disabled child on your own.

Physical Environment

The nature of your child’s disability will determine the modifications that’ll need to be made to your living space. Safety is always an issue where little ones are concerned, so it’s advisable to install safety gates to block stairs and to put in padded flooring that will cushion falls. Remove objects with hard edges, and place padding over the hard corners of your furniture. Safety rails in the bathroom and hallways are generally a good idea for a child with any kind of disability, as is sensor-activated lighting in the bedroom, bathroom, and any dimly lit sections of your home.

If your child has a physical disability that places a premium on mobility and access, widened doorways (a minimum of 36 inches across) and level transitions between rooms will make life much easier for a child who needs a wheelchair or some other mobility assistive device. It may be necessary to hire a local professional to make safety or accessibility modifications, particularly if structural changes are necessary. Always get estimates from at least three contractors if you’ll need a professional’s assistance. The more you can do to address your child’s physical needs in advance, the easier your job as a single parent will be.

Insurance and Expenses

Insurance can be a tricky matter for the parent of a disabled child. It can be difficult to determine the extent of your caregiver relationship (you may be needed until your child is well into adulthood), so it’s important to take out a life insurance policy to provide for your child after your death. If you’re not familiar with Medicaid, be aware that it can help you cover some of the medical expenses (not covered by health insurance) that come with caring for a disabled child.

There may be non-reimbursed medical expenses that can be deducted on your tax return; you’re at liberty to write off those costs once you’ve exceeded 7.5 percent of adjusted gross income. Also, don’t put off estate planning, and consider discussing your insurance and financial needs with a financial adviser or estate-planning expert. As a single parent, you’re the sole source of financial and medical assistance for your child, so don’t overlook long-term planning.

Self-Care

As the single parent of a child with a mental or physical disability, it’s essential that you pay close attention to your mental and physical well-being. It’s difficult to be an effective caregiver if you’re feeling run down and mentally fatigued, so take advantage of offers from family and friends to go out and do something for yourself once in a while — anything that will recharge your mental batteries will help. However, be sure to work in a little exercise every day. Even something as simple as a brief walk can be beneficial.

Yoga and Meditation

Caring for a disabled child around the clock by yourself can be extremely stressful. Consider making time for meditation (especially when you’re feeling out of control) or learning yoga, which is a unique combination of physical exercise and mental discipline.

Parenting a disabled child is a unique challenge when you’re going it alone — you need all the help you can get. Once you’ve determined your child’s safety and accessibility needs, figure out what modifications will be needed to get an idea of cost. And don’t put off seeking the advice of people who know the best options when it comes to health insurance and long-term financial planning for your child’s welfare. The day will come when you’re no longer there for your child, and having a plan in place will give you peace of mind and provide for her.

Author of this article is Ashley Taylor   disabledparents.org         

Getting Through Valentine’s Day When Single Again

Valentine’s Day can be like rubbing salt into a raw wound when going through divorce. People are coupled up and you may be the odd man out on this holiday. Others who are exiting a toxic marriage, may feel relief not spending it with a nasty person. There are different facets to Valentine’s Day besides romance. One is platonic friendships, and many of us exchange cards with our pals. Instead of mourning the void that comes with a loss of a partner, focus on celebrating Valentine’s Day in a new way with different people.

Flip the holiday around. Change the evening celebration to one at the beginning of the day, as there are less people in pairs. Get together with friends for a morning cappuccino with a pastry or for lunch. If your social circle is comprised mainly of married folks, catching up at a bakery is doable since it would not interfere with their dinner plans. When celebrating Valentine’s Day mid-morning, there is less pressure to feel one needs a date for this occasion.

Extroverts may want to be around others, yet not be ready to start dating. This can be accomplished by sitting at the communal table in coffee shops and cafes. One man claims he turns down holiday invitations because he has so much fun at these communal tables which are like “one big party.” MeetUp.com has groups for various interests and some of these gatherings are scheduled on holidays. Singles can participate in activities or dine with interesting companions. My divorced friend enjoys spending Valentine’s evening with the singles group at her church. They have events on some holidays and sponsor Friday Movie Night. Check around to see if you can join others on this night.

Do your celebrating on the job. Organize a pot luck, or bring in a fabulous treat to make the day more festive. I work part-time at an elementary school and it is party time on Valentine’s Day. The children’s excitement is contagious. Volunteering at their Valentine’s dances is a fun evening without a date. Some people request to work on holidays and enjoy spending it with co-workers instead of being alone.

Children can be a great distraction from thoughts of no longer having a spouse on this holiday. After my divorce, my sons and I would go to an Indian restaurant for dinner. One divorced friend gave a Valentine’s Day party for her young son and his classmates. She said it was the best time that she ever had on that holiday. The kids were hilarious, food was great and she was kept extremely busy. Consider planning some distractions on Valentine’s Day.

Escape Valentine’s Day by having an adventure abroad. When my marriage was falling apart, my mother and I took a tour to Ireland in February. We had a wee bit of snow, but I was thankful to avoid that holiday by being away. Maybe lounging by the pool in the tropics is more your style. Talk to your travel agent or go online to find some great travel deals.

A variation on this travel theme is to volunteer in another part of the world. Organizations, such as Earth Watch, can arrange for one to assist researchers etc., in an exotic locale. There are also plenty of opportunities right at home to help others and boost your self-worth. I volunteer weekly for an animal rescue group and this year it falls on Valentine’s Day. I will be feeling great after cuddling homeless kitties and being the recipient of their unconditional love. Consider helping out on that day with a charity that grabs your interest.

Determine if you would rather hide away or go out on the town. Either way is fine. For the first option, some individuals have gotten a boxed set of DVDs or enticing novels and stayed home. If cooking for one is depressing, then plan ahead and buy some delicious take away or a decadent dessert. Pamper yourself, such as having a spa night with a facial or doing a fitness routine. Find an enjoyable activity.

A millennial who is now single, told me of course he is going out on Valentine’s Day. Although he is no longer part of a couple, he states there is no way he would sit home. This fellow does not have any definite plans, but is confident he will find something going on in Boston. Other millennials were vague and said they would wait and see what their friends were up to on Valentine’s evening. The millennials were going to decide what to do at the last minute and the Baby Boomers were planning things way ahead of time, even if it is to stay home.

If you are feeling lonely around this holiday during divorce, consider adopting or fostering an animal. Having four feline housemates, helps make Valentine’s Day more lively, now that I have an Empty Nest. Whether or not you decide to celebrated Valentine’s Day – it is only one day out of the year.

Originally published on Divorce Force which is a resource or information, plus has a forum

 

 

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How to Prepare Your Finances to Leave an Abusive Relationship

If you are in an abusive marriage, you may not know where to turn or what to do. Abuse comes in many forms, and financial abuse is more common than you may think. If you’ve been the target of financial abuse, it can make it exceptionally difficult to gather your assets before you leave.

Financial abuse is likely not the only type of abuse you’ve experienced; it is often found in relationships where physical or emotional abuse also exists. In fact, of those who have suffered violence at the hands of a romantic partner, 98% have also endured financial abuse. However, the fear of unstable or inadequate finances can sometimes supersede fear of your own emotional or physical safety. A feeling of instability generally accompanies financial abuse; it can be such an overwhelming feeling that victims are unsure of where to turn. This guide will help you financially prepare yourself to leave an unhealthy marriage.

As an attorney, my experience is in retaining assets for my clients and helping them navigate the financial and emotional aspects of separation. However, your safety should always come first. If you are uncomfortable or feel unsafe following any of the following advice, consult someone who is knowledgeable about domestic violence before proceeding with these steps.

The Tactics of Financial Abusers  

Financial abusers regularly try to control their victim’s ability to acquire and use financial resources. This may mean you have been encouraged to not work or have been completely prevented from doing so. It can also mean you have limited access to bank accounts and financial resources, even if you earned the money yourself. All these abuse tactics are attempts to control someone and make it difficult to leave. Often times, these gaps in employment, unpaid debts, and low credit scores keep the victim in an abusive relationship simply due to fear of the unknown. Common fears amongst victims of financial abuse include:

  • Where will I live?
  • How will I find employment?
  • Can I afford the high interest rates I’m offered as a result of my poor credit score?
  • How can I financially support my children until I start getting paychecks?
  • Will I need to prioritize my basic necessities and give some up to survive?

If you are in an unhealthy marriage and have found the strength within to leave, you’ve already overcome your biggest hurdle. A brighter future is ahead, and you will find support from friends, family, and community members at every turn.

Preparing to Leave an Abusive Spouse  

Before making any changes to your finances, consult a victim advocate. The role of an advocate is to provide information to anyone who is dealing with domestic violence, including helping victims who are planning to leave an abusive marriage. They can help you find housing, transportation, and financial assistance when you leave your relationship. Someone who is trained as a victim advocate will have had extensive safety training, so he or she can help you make safe decisions regarding your finances. There are many online resources for finding your own advocate.

After you’ve consulted a victim advocate, you should begin to save as much money as possible. Whether it’s through a job, some kind of lump sum (like a tax return), or another source of income, having savings set aside when you leave will help ease the financial burden.

You should keep this money in your own bank account–one to which your spouse doesn’t have access. If you work, see if you can have part of your wages directly deposited into your new bank account. You may be able to adjust your tax exemptions and get more money each paycheck; you can deposit the difference in your personal account.

As you’re preparing your savings, make sure to keep any important financial documents – including any you can find from the past several years. This could include tax returns, paystubs, car titles, and more.

Finally, consult several divorce lawyers prior to leaving your spouse. A consultation is the perfect time to get a feel for whether you feel comfortable with the attorney and learn more about how their legal experience applies to your own case. Find an attorney who will fight to help you retain all the assets you need to start rebuilding your finances.

Rebuilding Your Finances After Leaving Your Spouse

The first financial move you’ll want to make once you’re over the hurdle of leaving your marriage is to review your finances, including your income and expenses. You may need a new job to pay for your new housing situation, for example, or it may be wise to get a second part-time job to build some savings.

You can also take time during the divorce to familiarize yourself with your credit report and resolve any debts that accrued. If you haven’t been privy to financial information for years, it’s possible your spouse has been hiding both income and debt from you. By creating a budget that addresses your monthly income, bills, and unpaid debts, you’ll put yourself on the path to financial security and  freedom.

Once you’ve safely left your marriage, it may be necessary to obtain a harassment restraining order or an order of protection against your spouse. A domestic violence lawyer can help you support yourself and your children by negotiating and litigating these legal protections. Consult an attorney if you feel your situation requires either of these orders.

Finally, a financial planner can be a tremendous help when you’re getting back on your feet. While a professional would be ideal, not everyone can afford it. If you’d like the benefits of financial knowledge without the price tag, you can use online resources, books, and even community education classes to learn more about handling your own finances.

About the Author   

Allison Maxim is a collaborative attorney St. Paul MN whose family law firm is Maxim Law PLLC. Allison believes strongly in the benefits of mindfulness in family law. Her background in psychology has given her a greater awareness of and empathy for the difficult situations faced by her family law and divorce clients.    

Article Summary 

Financial abuse is a powerful force keeping many victims in unhealthy relationships. This guide outlines how a victim can prepare his or her finances for long-term prosperity when faced with leaving an abusive relationship. It offers actionable steps to follow both before and after leaving an abusive spouse.

Why To Do Nothing May Be The Right Course Of Action

Sometimes the best course of action is to Do Nothing

In divorce we are spinning our wheels and often going nowhere. It is hard to stay focused with so much going on during proceedings. Our brains are on overload and our bodies are exhausted. What is the antidote to this craziness? Step back and Do Nothing. Having a block of time to do whatever you fancy is the way to recharge your batteries.   This resets your mind and body, so you can tackle the tasks, such as negotiating the split of marital assets.

Effects of Stress

Stress increases the risk of cardiovascular events and hormones such as cortisol, are released. This can cause headaches, gastrointestinal issues and for some of us, brain fog. Making decisions can be overwhelming. The Mayo Clinic states “Taking time to rest and relax with no particular goals can help reduce stress and bring a sense of calm and control.” Downtime allows the brain to process information which has been received. The subconscious mind can put together new ideas to solve the complex issues that come with divorce. Having downtime increases creativity. Artists and writers often have unstructured periods to let their minds wander. While seemingly doing nothing, creative concepts are bubbling up to the surface,

Think about when you were a child and had lazy days doing nothing. Most likely you were relaxed and enjoyed life. Bring this feeling into your present situation. I was surprised to see a children’s book in our local bookstore titled “Do Nothing.” A few adults were picking it up and reading it.

People may mistake taking downtime as not being productive. It is the opposite, as one’s body and mind are being recharged, like our electronic devices. Consider leaving gaps in your schedule to chill out or do a favorite activity. Give yourself permission to nap, read a book, a stroll in a leafy park, or whatever is pleasurable. This can be like a mini vacation which is rejuvenating.

A young adult whom I take care of one mooning a week, introduced me to this concept. He has cerebral palsy and can only string several words together at a time. I ask him what he would like to do and often it is basketball.   On a regular basis, this young adult’s reply also is “Do Nothing.” We might sit in his lovely patio and listen to the various bird calls. Or possibly take a walk and look at flower filled gardens. I was amazed at how refreshed I became after following his directive to Do Nothing. As I began to practice this, I started to be less frazzled. I am calm in my new job and less stressed overall. My divorce would have been smoother if I had known the secret that it is okay to Do Nothing at times.

Please read more   www.divorcemag.com/blog/taking-a-break-from-your-divorce/

Teaching Children About Self-Care

Teaching Kids About Self-Care Childhood is a time of joy, growth and new adventures. Anything is possible, and there is a lifetime ahead of wonders that we can only imagine for our little ones. As they grow, the future begins to solidify itself. Goals become clearer, new responsibilities are taken on, and they begin the process of developing into who they will be as adults.

Through this process, we parents, teach them many things. But are we neglecting a critical lesson? Are we teaching our children how to engage in self-care?

The World Our Children Live In Is Stressful

A landmark study done by the National Surveys On Drug Use and Health found in 2016 that depression in teens was on the rise. Whether that is because there really is a rising number, or if we are just better tracking the phenomenon, is unknown.However, given that experts agree that teen stress now rivals that of adults, it is at least clear that something needs to be done.

Once you have seen the signs of depression in your child, one of the simplest ways to help reduce the risk in your own children is to teach them the value of self-care. Here are some ways to guide them to do just that.

Set Aside Some Off Time

By “off time” that means completely off of everything. No phones, no computer, no TV, no screens at all. No responsibilities, either. Take out a chunk out of every day for everyone to just relax and do something unplugged they enjoy. Maybe that is taking a long bath, or playing some basketball, or settling in with a book.

Have Family Dinners

Did you know that something as simple as sitting down for a meal with your family can wash away a bad day? Maybe it won’t be dinner, maybe it will be breakfast, or lunch, or even just something you do on the weekends. But having that time together to unwind as a family and talk about the day or week over delicious food is perfect self-care for everyone and a great example to set for your children.

Teach Your Children To Meditate

Meditation is not a difficult skill to acquire, even for young children. All it takes is breathing and a conscious calming of the mind. Learning to stop, breath and clear the head is a valuable coping method that can help your child through many difficult situations they may face in life.

Encourage Them To Drop Something

Is your teen overwhelmed? Are they taking on too many extracurriculars, trying to juggle a job on top of keeping perfect grades or just struggling to stay above water? Sometimes they just need you to sit them down and tell them that it is alright to drop a responsibility. It is for their own health.

By both modeling these things and directly teaching your children about self-care, you can help your teen learn how to take care of themselves well into adulthood.

Author of this article, Tyler Jacobson, enjoys going to the mountains near his home in Draper, Utah to connect with his wife and children through camping, hiking, and quality time together. When he isn’t rebooting in the outdoors, he shares his fatherly experiences with the world through writing and creative work. Tyler shares the ups and downs of family life and the solutions he’s found through lengthy research and involvement in the industry and his own experiences to help parents everywhere. Follow Tyler on: Twitter

 

 

Social Media Can Have An Impact On Divorce

Be careful what you post on social media and other online sites during divorce and beyond. Your solicitor may have given you some guidelines, but mistakes can cost you in shared time with your children. One man in a small town had posted on a dating site, that he was single and without children. The fact that he was married with two sons seemed to have alluded him. A single family friend spotted it and told the wife once she had initiated the divorce. The wife asked for a copy and then handed them out to her solicitor, the sons’ new therapist and the custody evaluator. The father ended up with limited visitation and no overnights. Stay off dating sites until the divorce is finalized.

It is not fair for children to have their parents battle each other in such a public arena through social media. When older offspring have access to their parents’ social media sites, it is upsetting to read nasty remarks. If you are the spouse who is the recipient of online vitriol, do not go out for revenge. Let your attorney deal with it in your proceedings. Think about how your child would feel, before posting anything which could be controversial.

You may be selective of what goes on your social media sites, but that does not ensure that friends do too. They may be posting party pics from the hen party or birthday bashes. Looking like the party girl or a drunk in the pub is not going to help one seem like a responsible parent when making shared care arrangements. Keep in mind that friends may not have strict privacy settings or may share intimate details with their pals, who do not. Put on your site, or allow friends to post, only what would be okay for your family to view. You do not want a spiteful ex to get ammunition from social media sites to use against you.  Stay off your former spouse’s social media sites. Do you want to see photos of your ex and new partner on their world cruise? If you have a family member that sided with your ex, do you want to read her loving comments to him? No. It is not therapeutic to be keeping up with what he is doing on Facebook and makes it more challenging to move on. If something important happens, someone will inform you. A friend’s husband in a charity organization with my ex thought he heard that he had gotten remarried. This husband checked my ex’s Facebook and then confirmed it. I was happy about this, hoping it would take his focus off me. Get your ex out of your mind and make room in your life for new people.

Please read more   www.divorcemag.com/blog/how-social-media-can-affect-divorce-proceedings/

 

Self-Care While Going Through a Divorce

divorce-separation-marriage-breakup-split-39483The latest figures show that global divorce rates continue to be on the rise. Across Europe and the United States, average divorce rates range between 42%-65%. No matter how amicable the split may be, there are many stressful steps to a divorce. It is not uncommon for the process to cause feelings of anxiety and depression. This is especially true if an individual is not looking out for his or her wellbeing in the steps leading up to the divorce being granted.

If you are going through or will be going through a divorce, self-care is of top-importance. While some may consider the term “self-care” to refer to luxury and pampering, it simply refers to the practice of taking care of one’s self. Explore three must-do self-care strategies for individuals who are going through a divorce.

Ensure that you are getting plenty of sleep

Never underestimate the power of a good night’s rest, especially during stressful times. In addition to feeling drowsy and tired throughout your day, a lack of sleep can have many other consequences. Over the long-term, it can put you at risk for “high blood pressure, heart disease, obesity, and diabetes.” In addition to these serious risks, sleep deprivation can impair your ability to think clearly, dulls the skin, causes mood swings, and can cause you to gain weight. To avoid these health challenges, experts recommend that you get between 7 to 9 hours of sleep each night. If you are not able to realistically achieve this, work toward getting proper rest on as many nights as you can, especially during the most stressful parts of the divorce.

Regularly schedule time to practice a hobby

Since many of your days can be focused on signing papers, court hearings, and various disputes, it is crucial to have a healthy hobby to take your mind off of things. Whether you enjoy reading, crafts, baking, drawing, or journaling, choose one or more hobbies in which you can distract yourself from time to time. Hobbies have been shown to help individuals relieve stress, increase mindfulness, promote overall physical health, deliver new and fun experiences, and boost self-confidence. To ensure that you are taking advantage of these benefits, schedule at least a few hours in each week to practice your favorite hobby/hobbies.

Don’t skip regular exercise

Even when an individual isn’t going through stressful times, exercise is a key component of one’s health. Physical activity of all kinds offers loads of benefits, including a boost to your mood, maintenance of a healthy weight, enhanced energy levels, improved cognitive function, lowered risk of chronic illness, and improved sleep quality. As you can imagine, these benefits are even more valuable while going through the stress of a divorce. At minimum, plan to practice your favorite form of exercise for 30 minutes a day, 5 days a week. Both low-impact activities (e.g. walking, yoga) and high-intensity workouts will deliver much of the same benefits.

For nearly every person who goes through the process, divorce marks a stressful time in one’s life. To reduce the impact of the associated stressors, practicing self-care is an absolute must. By ensuring that you are getting proper sleep, choosing to regularly engage in a favorite hobby, and getting routine exercise, you can fight off the negative effects of any stress you experience.

Author of this article, Lucy Davis,  runs  The Divorce Club  www.divorceclub.com     an online support network for people going through divorce and separation.   There are fun events scheduled (check their web site).  Wendi’s Note: The Divorce Club in London is a great way to meet others who are going through similar experiences. Wisdom and laughter are shared at Lucy’s get-togethers through this MeetUp.com group.

Letting Go Of The Past After Divorce Or Break Up

It can be hard to let go of the past when married life is over. Focusing on what was instead of what is, hinders an individual from moving on post-divorce. Divorce may come as a shock and fixating on what used to be, gets in the way of taking action now. Some people interviewed, kept dreaming about the past, as the present was too painful. Yet others felt if they denied what was happening (a spouse leaving), things would go back to what they were.

One sign that a person is hanging on to an ex-spouse and not letting go, is by talking endlessly about them. An acquaintance went on and on about her former husband until somebody else changed the subject. She did not date, but instead wallowed in that relationship which she failed to leave behind post-divorce. There were no children and it was a clean break.

I occasionally run into her former husband who has never brought up his ex and was able to move on in life. He is happily remarried and is a proud step-father. It is a choice whether to stay mentally attached to a former partner or face the cold truth of reality that the other person is not coming back.

Part of getting beyond reliving the past is that the void has to be filled. When an old life and marital relationship ends – something has to fill this gaping hole. This was the problem with my acquaintance. She did not try to meet people, take a class or pursue new endeavours. The void remained.

A first step to moving on, is replacing the loss of people and things with new adventures, activities, and friends. Expand your social circle by joining a special interest group or renewing friendships that may have fallen by the wayside when married. I joined travel and book clubs. Other divorced pals are in film and hiking ones. There are many studies globally that show the health benefits of being connected to others.

A new job during the early phase of my divorce proceedings, was mentally stimulating. There was less time to think about my losses. Others have taken courses or changed career paths after a divorce. Take up a sport for a physical challenge. The goal is to keep mentally and physically active to fill the void and find life more fulfilling. When one’s agenda is crammed full of events, and pleasurable pursuits, looking ahead instead of behind is easier.

Please read more   www.divorcemag.com/blog/how-to-let-go-of-the-past-after-divorce/

Starting a Small Business: Tips for Parents with Disabilities

starting small businessStarting a small business comes with a lot to consider, from figuring out whether you want a storefront or a solely online company to making sure you have the motivation and energy to put into running everything yourself. When you’re also a parent who is living with a disability, it’s important to also think about the best ways you can make life easier for yourself during the process of getting things off the ground. For some entrepreneurs, working from home is much easier than going into an office every day, but this can present its own set of challenges, especially if you’re a stay-at-home parent.

Fortunately, there are many things you can do to get the ball rolling smoothly. First, think about the details: a brick-and-mortar store can bring a lot of benefits, such as bringing in lots of foot traffic, but it can also come with a lot more issues and responsibilities than an online business. Will you keep your stock on-site or dropship? Once you’ve figured out the details, you can move on to the big things, such as securing the necessary financing.

Keep reading for some helpful tips on how to start a successful small business when you’re a parent with a disability.

Understand What It Takes

Starting your own business may sound like a dream come true, but it’s much harder in many ways than finding a job with an established company. You need to be self-motivated, a problem-solver who can minimize distractions at home and get things done even when there’s no one giving you direction. Being able to give your all even when you’re sick or have lots of things going on at home will help you find success as an entrepreneur.

Consider How You’ll Support Yourself

Financing a small business is no small feat; there are many things to consider, from startup costs to maintaining your home and lifestyle until you begin making a profit. Often, new businesses don’t turn a profit for at least a year, although those run exclusively online can save a lot of money by not having a storefront. You might think about a loan or grant for disabled business owners to boost your funds, but make sure you find the right one for your needs. Look online to find out more about the resources available to you.

Think About Your Family

As a parent, you want to ensure that your family is well taken care of while you’re getting your dream up and running. This might mean securing daycare for your children if you’ve been a stay-at-home parent in the past, which can be a big change for everyone. Sit down with your family members and talk about your goals, and plan for the future together. Allowing your children to be involved in the preparation process will help them feel a little bit in control.

Take Care of Yourself

Starting a business can be a dream come true, but it’s also a lot of work, and it can be very stressful even if you’re organized. This is especially true when you’re living with a disability. Practicing self-care can help you reduce stress and anxiety when things become overwhelming, so take time out for yourself when you find things are getting busy. Ask for help when you need it. Get plenty of exercise and eat right, even on busy days.

Starting a plan for your future can be scary, but if you keep in mind that it’s a big step in the right direction when it comes to your goals, you’ll be able to stay motivated no matter how difficult things get. Start with some prep work and do some research online before you make any decisions. As a disabled business owner, juggling parenting and your dreams might sound daunting, but it doesn’t have to stop you from achieving your goals.

Author of this article is Ashley Taylor   ashley@disabledparents.org

Splitting Shared Assets when Divorcing

Divorce proceedings can be extremely stressful and traumatic for everyone involved, even more so when shared assets need to be split. When tying the knot, the last thing couples anticipate is divorce and as a result, few actually plan what would happen to their shared assets should they get divorced.

Over the years, you and your partner will have invested together, saved together and perhaps opened joint bank accounts, and in order to make financial settlements fair, there are a number of factors that have to be taken into consideration before splitting your assets.

Before we continue, it is important to note that how assets are split between a couple will be determined by the relationship. Simply put, the rights of a cohabiting couple will differ from those of a married couple, so bare this in mind.

Step 1:

The first thing you must establish is who legally owns what assets. If you’re in a cohabiting relationship then any investments or savings in your name will belong to you and your partner will not have access to these assets. Likewise, savings or investments made in your ex-partners name will be theirs and you will not be granted access.

However, there are exceptions to the rule. You may be entitled to beneficial interest if you have made contributions towards something in your ex-partners name, such as investing your own money into one of their projects. If this is the case, then you should seek legal advice.

On the flip side, investments or savings made throughout the duration of the marriage will be taken into consideration and divided as part of a financial settlement. Whilst assets amassed prior to the marriage aren’t typically subject to financial settlements throughout divorce proceedings, there is still a chance that your assets are at risk and you should seek legal advice to make sure your savings and investments are protected.

Step 2:

Next, it is time to find out what your savings are really worth in the eyes of the law. If you save money into a savings account such as a cash ISA or cash deposit, it should be pretty easy to get a rough idea of how much your savings are worth as you should be receiving regular financial statements.

However if you have invested in the stock market, or own shares and investment bonds, then it may not be as straightforward when it comes to determining the worth of your assets. This is solely because the value of your investments will differ from week to week, even day to day especially in a volatile and quick-changing market. You should talk to a financial adviser about finding out the value of invested assets tied up in the stock market.

Step 3:

It can be difficult to make sense of the whole process when splitting assets and couples often aren’t aware of how to split their savings and investments. Generally, it depends on where your savings are kept. Cash ISA, shares, investment property or savings accounts – there are a number of ways in which your money can be invested and each will differ when it comes to paying out financial settlements.

Cash ISAs

Cash ISAs can only be held in one individual name and therefore money cannot be transferred from one party to another. If the court has demanded you pay a financial settlement to your ex-partner you must withdraw the money from the account.

Shares

You have a bit more flexibility when it comes to shares as there are a number of different options in which you can pay off a financial settlement. Simply hand over control of the shares, sell the shares or give the value of the shares once sold to another party – it is your choice.

It’s easy to transfer shares, just fill in a J30 form which you can get from the company you initially brought the shares from. Alternativley, if you decide to sell your shares you will need to use the same service you used when buying those shares.

Investment property

If either you or your partner owns a property, then that asset is legally yours/theirs and the other party will have no claim to it – unless contributions have been made. In that case, you will both need to come to an agreement as to how the appropriate party will be paid back.

If you jointly own the property, then you may choose to sell your share to your ex-partner, or buy them out.

Savings accounts

If you plan to transfer money to your ex-partner as part of a financial settlement from a fixed-rate account, then you must first notify your bank so that you do not lose interest. If you are transferring from a normal savings account then you don’t have to give notice.

You should now be fully are of all your legal responsibilities and the claims you can make when it comes to splitting both shared and individual assets when divorcing. We understand how distressing divorce proceedings can be and that is why we have put together this comprehensive guide so that the process can be as amicable, straightforward and stress-free as possible for both you and your ex-partner.

Kerry Smith is the Head of Family Law at K J Smith Solicitors, specialist family law solicitors in Reading that deal with a wide range of issues, including divorce, domestic violence, civil partnerships, and prenuptial agreements. Kerry has over 15 years experience in family law and is recommended by the Legal 500 guide to law firms in the UK.

Keeping Divorce Drama Out Of The Schools

Here are tips for parents, and divorce professionals to help keep divorce out of the schools. Children bringing their parents’ divorce drama into the classroom is disrupting. It wastes teaching time and can cause other students to lose focus on their lessons. It is not fair to anyone.

A first step is informing various school personnel of the divorce situation.   School staff cannot be fully supportive if they have no clue what is going on in a child’s life. I worked with students, parents and staff with divorce issues in the schools. Some of the problems were due to lack of communication between parents and staff.

It can be embarrassing for a child to be asked what they did over the weekend with their parents in front of the other students. They do not want to say, I went from’ Mum’s house to stay with dad. The teacher who is not informed, can put a child in an awkward spot. It is up to adults, not children, to explain what is going on at home.

Teachers and the school secretary need to know to send copies of reports and letters to each parent. Then both are on the same page. When I did not realize a divorce was in progress, an uncomfortable student would ask which parent was to receive the test results. It is up to each parent to make sure the school has their e-mail address for newsletters and so forth. Both parents can check the school’s web site for events and updates. A child is not to be told, by a parent that they were not aware of an event at school. Do not put kids in the middle.

A fallout from divorce is that the student does not have all they require for class. Some leave homework at the other parent’s house. One time a sobbing child was in my office while I called a father to bring in an item left behind at his house the prior week.  It was a crucial piece of a project which had to presented in class that morning. Unfortunately, this occurred with other students as well. Get a system, such as a check list which stays with the child between homes.

Parents, do not overshare divorce details with your offspring. That seems quite obvious, however it is not always put into practice. I had to deal with students who were upset or on the verge of vomiting when distressed over the minutia of their parent’s divorce. One boy spent time in my office while his parents were with solicitors, fighting over a shared care schedule. He did not know if he was moving house, or would not see one parent very much. Just say “we have a meeting with solicitors” and leave it at that. Why does anyone need to know what is on the agenda for each divorce session?

Schools often send home a form to be filled out with contact information and any additional notes about the student. If one parent is not allowed to pick up their son or daughter, or is out of the picture, make sure to write that down. I asked a five-year-old which parent should I call, when he was sick in my office. The little guy got upset and said “mum.” Although nothing was put in the official contact form, his teacher later told me that the father had abandoned his family. In another instance, a form had both parents and their mobile numbers. When the little girl was sick, I called her mum first and left a message that I would try dad.   Her father explained that he was out of town at the moment.

Her step-father later came storming into my office and screamed that the father should never be called. I showed him the form which listed the father. He calmed down when he realized that his wife had never informed the school about this situation. He and his wife promptly took care of it.

A ploy of a divorcing parent can be to try and get school staff on their side. We are not going to get caught up in the conflict and choose one parent over the other. Our job is to be supportive of the students and remain neutral about their parents.

If your child is anxious about the divorce and is bringing it into the classroom, consider short term counselling. My two boys met with a therapist during divorce and for a bit afterwards. It helped them to be calmer and more centred, both in and out of school. Talking to a professional or impartial adult, will help kids sort out their concerns instead of bringing them into school.

Originally published in The Divorce Magazine   www.thedivorcemagazine.co.uk/

 

 

Dealing with Holidays When Going Through Divorce

The holiday season is right around the corner and this can be a challenging period during divorce. It is hard to celebrate when one’s world is crumbling. Experiencing intense anger, fear or hurt, stops one from bubbling over with Christmas cheer.   Keeping busy is a way to avoid dwelling on one’s situation. There are plenty of fun distractions during the holiday season to help take one’s mind off divorce and to reduce stress.

Perhaps this is the year that you sit out the frenetic round of parties. People understand when an individual is facing trauma and not up to participating in festivities. Pick what is most meaningful for you and let go of the rest.   When invited to events, feel free to say that you are unavailable and cannot attend. Explanations are not required. One may want to curl up on the couch and catch up with reading or watching classic television specials. It is fine to have downtime and get ready for what lies ahead in divorce proceedings. Do what is best for you.

It can feel lonely not being paired up anymore. One may be tempted to forego going out altogether. Some newly single people felt more comfortable being in places where it was not apparent they were by themselves. There are various ways to feel connected to others when attending events alone. One is enjoying concerts (often free) in different settings, such as churches. Another is being part of a crowd awaiting the lighting of a town square or tree. When in London, it was thrilling seeing a dark Oxford Street spring to life with thousands of Christmas lights and live music. Sharing this exciting experience with so many others kept me from feeling lonely.

See what your single friends are doing and accompany them to holiday gatherings. My divorced friend and I are willing to go to each other’s events. My married pals will meet up during the day and are happy to indulge in decant Christmas desserts and lattes.  When married, one may not have paid much attention to socializing with colleagues. Let them know that you would like to join their get-togethers.

During divorce and beyond, many people I talked with, said that they spend holidays with family who may live nearby or across the country. They feast a large part of the day and partake in other activities. These now singles, said how their families fill a gap on holidays left by a departing spouse. After my divorce, my two sons and I went away for several Christmases. I am an only child and my parents are deceased. Getting away helped my family of three start new traditions post-divorce and end the ones which no longer fit. Consider doing the same action, especially if you have children. Ask your children which traditions are the most meaningful or fun and then continue them. Ditch the other ones.

Go to Divorce Magazine for this article and many other ones  www.divorcemag.com/home/

A Simple Way To Help Your Child Feel More Loved

simple

If there is anything that you learn right away when you have children it is that kids are all different. They have different personalities, needs and interests. As they age from young children into teens, many parents feel that it becomes increasingly difficult to communicate with their teens. It may even feel as though everything you try to do and say is leading to an argument or making your child feel worse.

When we are already feeling overwhelmed, the entire process can be near insurmountable. But you don’t have to feel that way forever. One option is to adapt to how you interact with your child so you can make your child feel more loved and secure.

The Love Language Approach to Parenting

The first step in this process is knowing your kid’s love language. You have probably heard of the love languages before. Created by Gary Chapman, it is a way of establishing what ways of showing affection and care each of us responds to the most. There are five languages:

  • Word of affirmation
  • Acts of service
  • Receiving gifts
  • Quality time
  • Physical touch

People can have multiple love languages and some will be stronger than others, while some might have a couple be equally important. There are quizzes for the language, apology language and an anger assessment. Each can help you and loved ones better understand one another and even change the way you interact with other people on a professional level.

Families with older children can make taking this quiz a group activity and discuss how each can help use one another’s love language to show they care. For younger children, it may come down to guessing based on what your child appears to enjoy and not enjoy. For instance, if your child likes to be comforted with a hug or enjoys cuddling that provides a clue to their language. If they prefer verbal reassurance that is a better indication.

The Importance of Warmth

A study by the University of Amsterdam looked at what helps to build self-esteem and positive self-image in children. According to their results, lavishing praise on a child can have the opposite effect.

Instead, what has the greatest impact on a child’s self-esteem is the warmth that is shown to them on a consistent basis. Each of the five languages is based on warmth delivered in different ways. You can customize that warmth in a way that your child will respond to most, making it even more effective for their emotional well-being. All of this can help your family to become closer and help ensure you child feels truly loved.

Author of this article, Tyler Jacobson, enjoys going to the mountains near his home in Draper, Utah to connect with his wife and children through camping, hiking, and quality time together. When he isn’t rebooting in the outdoors, he shares his fatherly experiences with the world through writing and creative work. Tyler shares the ups and downs of family life and the solutions he’s found through lengthy research and involvement in the industry and his own experiences to help parents everywhere. Follow Tyler on: Twitter

 

Top Tips for Stress-Free and Budget-Savvy Family Travel

budget savvy travelFinding ways to stretch your travel budget can be complicated, especially when you’re trying to accommodate different age groups. You want everyone to enjoy themselves, and pleasing members of your whole family can leave you pulling out your hair. Here are some suggestions for making the most of your getaway without experiencing hassles and stress.

Smart Booking Strategies  

Timing can be everything when it comes to travel planning. If you can put it off, the Guardian recommends waiting until the last minute to book your arrangements, as it frequently equates to a substantial discount off advertised prices. Your other best option is to book extremely early to secure the best rates. Discounts for children are something of a rare commodity these days, although some experts note that airlines will allow infants under the age of 2 to fly for free, so long as you hold your little one in your lap.

Another suggestion is to take a respite from parenthood and plan a holiday apart from your children. There are responsible, caring, safe babysitters out there, and with this being the Information Age, you can book a reliable sitter via the web. If you have any concerns about the person you hire, you should meet up before confirming your arrangements.

Family-Friendly (and Budget-Friendly) Lodging   

Putting a roof over everyone’s heads for the duration of your adventure is part of the crux of family travel, particularly when you want to be careful in your spending. You can check in with company internet boards and newsletters for people letting out rooms, or consider a house-swapping arrangement. Sometimes, it pays to take advantage of traditional family-oriented options, such as camping, staying in a farmhouse, or booking a stay in a hostel. Be forewarned: Some experts point out that hostels vary tremendously, from the most pleasant of accommodations to those which are questionable at best. Do some research beforehand and check the ratings and reviews prior to making a decision.

Check Your Dates  

When it comes to saving money over the course of a stay, the Barefoot Nomad points out that you can often come out ahead by lengthening the duration of your trip. Consider adding a day or two at each end of your holiday, and you might find it’s well worth the added expense. Just ensure you can set aside the time from your workplace before making the commitment.

Cut Meal Costs   

Feeding your youngsters can be a traveling challenge, especially if you have any picky eaters in your bunch. While it isn’t always as enticing as eating meals out, consider making a grocery run once you reach your destination. Choose some simple staples you know your youngsters will enjoy, such as favorite cereals and sandwich foods, and aim to partake in at least one meal you prepare each day. Let your kids select the food, and include something special that wouldn’t normally be allowed. It’ll be easier on your wallet as well as your nerves, and you and your children can then venture out for explorations with full bellies and clear minds.

Plan Outings Well   

When it comes to finding budget-friendly entertainment for your holiday, a variety of attractions are free to children. For the best results, plan your days around meal times and the normal napping schedule. You don’t want to be standing in a long queue when your youngster is too hungry or too tired, potentially resulting in crankiness and temper tantrums. Short, simple events are usually more convenient and relaxing for everyone.

Ensure your next family holiday is enjoyable and affordable with good planning. Schedule your trip carefully and make selections that stretch your budget. With a few smart strategies, you and your kids are sure to have a wonderful time.

Author of this article is Ashley Taylor   ashley@disabledparents.org

Image courtesy of Pixabay

 

 

How to Maintain a Relationship – People Share Their Secrets

After getting divorced one may be more cautious when dating again – wanting to avoid potential pitfalls. Your marital union has ended and it can be puzzling how other folks stay together for half of a century. A variety of couples graciously revealed their secrets to what makes a relationship last.

Just let go

At the end of the day, let go of the trivial things which happened. Do not get worked up over the small stuff, but rather focus on what is important. When we carry all of these insignificant grudges around, they become a big load. No one is perfect – so give your partner some slack. Do not keep score. “I did this so you had better do that.” One acquaintance kept a tally of grievances and when she reached a high number, they got a divorce. A friend kept track of who did what chores. She expected them to be split 50/50 even though she worked fewer hours outside of the home. That ended in divorce. Your spouse’s actions are not motivated by malice, so just let go. We all have annoying quirks.

No one has the power to  “make” you happy

People have divorced or broken up with partners when that individual no longer “made them happy.” We choose our feelings and no one else has the power to make us feel a certain way. It is in our control to be happy or not. Long -term couples said that they required other relationships besides the marital one, such as being in clubs and with friends. The Dalai Lama states “True happiness does not depend on an external being or thing. It only depends upon us.” When becoming unhappy, that is a red flag to have a discussion with your partner. One woman informed her husband that she wanted a divorce because she was so unhappy. Talking this through, they discovered that she missed her old job and was miserable being a stay-at-home mom. Once back in the workforce, she was content with her life.

Follow your gut instinct

A priest said that he talks to both mothers when doing weddings. He tells these ladies not to interfere with their children’s relationship. Do not let your friends interfere with your relationship either. Friends can mean well, however give lousy advice that is detrimental. They may have their own agenda, which does not align with yours. Two co-workers were close and the friend played racquetball with the other’s husband. She pretended to support her married pal, but the end result was that the couple got divorced and the other two got married. Trust your gut instinct and do not rely on others to offer opinions on what to do. I knew it would be a mistake to get married to my now ex-husband. An older family friend kept insisting it was only “pre-wedding jitters” and to go through with it. Big mistake listening to her.

Be  careful about what you say

Be careful of what you confide to others -especially when going through a difficult time. Friends will side with you and may not like your partner after hearing your complaints about him or her. They often continue to loathe them after your problems are resolved. You may be told you are too good for your spouse, when personal details are overshared with family and friends. What you say in anger can have a negative effect on their viewpoint of your partner and of you remaining in the relationship.

Share

Couples stated that sharing was important, which includes sharing child care responsibilities. One father said that he is “the bottle washer” since his wife also works full time. Sharing household duties means looking around for what needs to be done and not waiting for a partner to ask for help.

Have fun and a sense of humor

Many said having a sense of humor keeps things running smoothly. Laughter connects people and having fun adds spice to the relationship. Couples have taken up Salsa dance lessons, golf, joined gourmet dining clubs or got into volunteering. They have become active in community issues or rediscovered a long-lost passion in life. These people are reinventing themselves together on the same path. Life events have kept some individuals from traveling in the past. I have met many couples in second marriages exploring the world and ticking off exotic places from their Bucket Lists. Others have gotten involved in projects together, such as renovating a house for retirement is a sunny locale.

At a fiftieth wedding anniversary celebration, the wife said that “commitment is love – you can’t have love without commitment.” When they went through rough patches, they each knew the other was committed to the marriage and was not going to bolt. Secrets to lasting love is to have kindness, be respectful of your partner and put them first in your life above others.

Originally published in Divorce Force   www.divorceforce.com/

10 Tips To Know About Divorce

Divorce is a life transition that generates permanent changes. One can never go back – only forward. Divorce affects finances, relationships and career choices. It can be a positive catalyst for a metamorphosis.

  1. Divorce is not a linear process, one can back track, hit a speed bump or nearly get derailed. My husband and I were in the collaborative process and he suddenly dropped out when it did not go as he expected. We had to start over with new solicitors for litigation. Then he decided to return to collaborative and luckily our original solicitors let us pick up where we left off from before.
  2. Divorce does not have to mean only negative changes –but can push people in a positive direction. Maribel was a stay-at-home mum who was bored out of her mind and felt unfulfilled. Getting a divorce forced her back into the working world. She opted for a lesser paying job in retail and is ecstatic about life. Maribel is much more vibrant now, than I ever observed in her marriage. Two co-workers lead busy, fulfilled lives now that they are divorced.
  3. Divorce has an end point. My maintenance and child support have finished which means contact with my ex is 100% in the past. I will be moving and can totally close that chapter of my life. Other people’s end point may be when their divorce is finalized, especially when there is a Clean Break. The divorce process seemed endless at the time, but it helped when folks said that there is a light at the end of the tunnel.
  4. Get centred, clear your mind and think through your choices and decisions. I made stupid missteps in a panic – rather than stating “Let me think about it and get back to you.” An issue can be tabled until the next mediation/collaborative session – or you could send an e-mail the following day with your decision. Reacting quickly, instead of mulling it over can haunt you in the future.
  5. Get the necessary experts on the divorce team. If it seems as if some assets are missing, then get a forensic accountant on board. In an acrimonious divorce, a custody evaluator may be brought in to do an extensive study to determine the percentage of shared care between parents.
  6. There are support groups available to enable you to make it through the arduous divorce process. The Divorce Magazine has a link to helpful resources including parenting ones, on the web site. Conduct your own online search to discover ones in your locale. Talking to others going through divorces gave me support and I felt less alone.
  7. It is normal to feel that you cannot take much more stress without exploding. People interviewed expressed that they were surprised that they got through divorce without a nervous breakdown. In our crazy divorce, the two solicitors mandated that we each see a designated life coach for at least one session. My husband brought his to one collaborative session and that made for a smoother meeting with less tension for all of us.
  8. You will discover traits that you did not realize that you possessed. Hidden strength will bubble up and get you through tough negotiations. You will discover your resilience which helps you to be flexible and bend like a pine tree rather than being rigid like the mighty oak and breaking in a storm.
  9. A Family Law solicitor said if one party is pleased in the divorce – then something is not fair. When both people are unhappy about the asset division, then it is fair. I made sure I got the few things that I really desired, the water colour painting of our deceased cat, plus several other items. I refused to get in a battle over our joint personal property which resulted in my husband letting me have a bit more. Hold out for what you really want in the personal property division and do not haggle over every little thing. Not worth the time, increased legal fees and anxiety.
  10. You may be at loggerheads with each other during divorce, but may like each other down the road. Some former couples are friends and even have get-togethers with the new spouses. This is really lovely for the children during the holidays when this happens. Memory has the trick of glossing over the unpleasant parts and this is helpful after divorce.

Originally published in The Divorce Magazine   thedivorcemagazine.co.uk after divorce.

Tips For Going On A First Date Post-Divorce

Going on a first date after a divorce has its challenges. One may have done well finding a person online that seems compatible or through an old-fashioned introduction. Now comes the hardest part – making a great first impression and sustaining that throughout the evening. A speech on networking at a Toastmasters International meeting had a lot in common with dating. The audience was surprised that when initially meeting someone, to keep 99% of the conversation on that person.

Ask Your Date Questions About Them

In networking which also pertains to dating, begin with asking about their family and move on to what is their occupation. Ask what are their hobbies and interests, finishing up with inquiring what really matters to them. What gives meaning to their lives, their passion and what makes them tick. People enjoy talking about themselves, and by asking these questions you will be viewed as the most interesting person on the planet. There is now rapport and it is a good time to start revealing fascinating tidbits about yourself.

Reveal A little At A Time

Bombarding someone with your life story when first meeting them is a turn off. One acquaintance wondered why she rarely got a second date. She did not ask the above mentioned questions and focused the conversation solely on herself. A co-worker told too personal details about her body functions and friends’ sex lives. Have some decorum.

Be Aware Of Your Body Language

Have a friendly demeanor and be cognizant of your body language. Arms folded across your body can mean “stay away” or as in Martial Arts, a sign of aggression. Nervous habits such as jingling change in your pocket or tapping your foot can be interpreted as impatience. Watch the amount of eye contact. Too little indicates lack of interest and staring can be uncomfortable for the receiver.

Have Conversations Topics Ready

Be up-to-date on current news and major sporting events, like the Super Bowl. Be able to have discussions, but try to veer away from religion and politics on a first date. Have some amusing stories about co-workers, travel adventures and so forth ready in case you get tongue-tied or your mind goes blank. Pauses in conversation are okay and not every second has to be filled in by talking.

It is fine to mention that you are a parent, but hold the cute toddler tales. Let your date know you are a well-rounded adult, not a one dimensional person. This does not only pertain to being a parent, but also when focusing on one aspect of your life. For example. I briefly dated an attorney whose whole existence revolved around his job. When I suggested that we see a film, he said that he did not own any casual clothes and would have to wear trousers from one of his suits. I knew this relationship would not work out, so ended it quickly.

A multi-faceted person is enticing. Having a full life before dating is more attractive to someone than having dating be your life.  Please read more    www.divorcemag.com/blog/tips-for-first-date-after-divorce/

The Way to Let Go Is Through Forgiveness

As human beings, we instinctively do everything we can to avoid harm. We look before we cross the road, we’re careful when chopping vegetables, wear protective equipment when we’re engaging in potentially dangerous tasks and so on. Indeed, our desire not to damage ourselves is so ingrained that there are too many examples to name – but there’s one exception.

Whilst we actively do our utmost to prevent ourselves from suffering emotional pain, an awful lot of us seem to make an exception when we believe someone else is to blame for our suffering – something which is particularly true of disgruntled divorcees.

It’s strange how when one spouse wants a divorce and the other doesn’t the reluctant party usually relents, recognising that there’s little point in remaining married to someone who no longer loves them, but continues to harbour resentment towards their former spouse. It’s completely understandable that the rejected party feels hurt, of course, but without a concerted effort on their part, it’s all too easy for hurt to become hatred which, in turn, becomes prolonged pain and suffering. Worst of all, afflicted spouses that find themselves in this position are reluctant to let go of their anger. Some even feel that these horrific feelings – and the pain they cause – are necessary; a reminder of why they should never trust the person that brought them such anguish.

Forgive for your own good

I myself know how difficult it can be to forgive and forget. I suffered from severe bullying throughout my time at school and I spent a significant portion of my life hating the perpetrators. People that cared about me recognised this was causing me pain and encouraged me to forget things and move on. Their suggestions fell on deaf ears – I was even offended by them, as if they were taking the side of the bullies and dismissing my feelings. They weren’t, they were trying to help me help myself.

As much as a part of me felt like I would have been letting my tormentors off the hook if I forgave them, it was actually myself who benefited when I bit the bullet and sought the help I needed to deal with my painful memories. My quality of life improved immeasurably as a result and I can assure you that, however hard or even impossible forgiving your former spouse may seem, it is possible and, more importantly, it’s in your best interests to do so.

Seek help if you need it

If you find that you can’t forgive your former spouse, you’re far from alone. Many people need professional help to let go of painful memories – I did, and I can assure you that it’s the best decision I’ve ever made. The anxiety I previously felt is all but gone, my self-esteem has improved and I’m a significantly happier person.

If you’re able to forgive and forget without assistance, great. If you aren’t, there’s no shame in seeking the help of a professional like a counsellor or psychiatrist and I’d strongly recommend you do. It’ll benefit those around you and, most importantly of all, you too.

Author Bio: Jay Williams works for Quickie Divorce, one of the UK’s largest providers of quick online divorce solutions and divorce papers. He lives in Cardiff with his wife and two-year-old daughter Eirys.

 

Travel Tips For The Single Parent

Travel as a single parent gives one the opportunity to strengthen the bond between parent and child, and leave the complications of divorce behind. Taking a vacation does wonders for getting rid of stress and returning rejuvenated. When used to having a travel partner (former spouse), it can be unnerving to go alone with the kids. Having to watch the youngsters 24/7 without a break can be tiring, however there are ways to meet everyone’s needs. Enlist a family member to go with you. My mother went on a Hawaiian cruise with my sons and I at the beginning of my turbulent divorce. I got much needed alone time when she did a few activities with the boys on shore. All of us were happy. Some siblings and their offspring have taken trips together or shared a holiday home. An adult took a turn watching the cousins, so the other one could relax.

What works for many single parents is selecting a hotel with a kid’s or teen club. The wee ones are busily engaged learning songs, crafts and games while their single parents can relax with a book or enjoy the facilities. In Nevis, my boys learned about Caribbean traditions and marine life, while I headed off to the gym. There are resorts with great kid’s clubs globally, in Greece, Mexico, the Caribbean and so forth. A divorced friend likes the Club Meds where the children are occupied in their groups and she interacts with adults. They also do enjoyable activities as a family. She prefers the all-inclusive resorts so there are no financial surprises. This is one reason why I like cruising – I can budget my trips and know what the cost will be.

Cruises are a fun way to see many destinations without packing and unpacking. Most have clubs for the little ones and their teenage siblings. There are numerous activities, sports and shows on board that can be done as a family. After my divorce, my sons and I wanted to start fresh with holiday rituals. The three of us sailed around New Zealand and made several stops in Australia over Christmas and New Year’s. The décor, food and concerts were fabulous and I did not have the usual holiday stress. Ships provide an easy way for us to see the world and experience different cultures.

Various travel companies have tours for families, such as safaris in Africa, with child centered activities. They are slower paced and are also ideal for grandparents. These tours give adults an opportunity to have time without the kids, while they are engrossed in an activity. My teen and twenty-year-old did fine on a regular tour to India. Teens like trips packed with interesting sites, such as ancient stone fortresses, colorful bazaars, and activities that are not available at home. If you can time a trip around a festival or cultural event, that adds excitement. For example, we went to a Hindu Temple in Delhi on one of their holiest days of the year.

Consider only having one or two places to stay on a trip, particularly with very young children. Have that be your hub and plan day trips or primarily see the sights around your location. Changing hotels frequently with much travel is tiring and can be stressful. Going to a Dude Ranch and riding horses for a week can be memorable. There are hikes, campfires and outdoor fun. Kids enjoy farm stays and playing with the animals. A city break such as London, has many kid friendly museums and historical sites, like the Tower of London. My sons loved feeding the ducks in the various large parks and I liked sitting on a park bench reading. Orlando is another example where a single parent and kids can stay put in one hotel and enjoy the many amusement parks in the area. Trying to see too much in a short time is exhausting. On a trip to Burma (Myanmar), I crammed too many destinations and hotels into our itinerary. My young sons got cranky and I ended up sick. Spending a week at a beach, lake or mountain cabin is a lovely way to unwind.

When planning a trip post-divorce, there are practical aspects to remember. Inform your ex-spouse before taking your children across the state line. Get written permission that is notarized by the other parent, when taking youngsters out of the country. You do not want to be accused of international kidnapping, plus the airlines may ask to see this letter. Both parents must be present for a child under sixteen to obtain or renew their passport. A notarized letter giving permission from an absent parent will suffice. Make sure that each of you has at least six months left on your passport before it expires or another country can deny entry.

View travel as an adventure. Yes, things will not always go as planned, so be flexible and pack your sense of humor. Something that goes terribly wrong can be a funny story for years to come. Enjoy your single parent vacations, as your children will grow up too quickly. Bon Voyage!

My article was originally printed in DivorceForce   www.divorceforce.com/   Affected by Divorce? Join DivorceForce, the online community committed to empowering those affected by divorce. Many helpful articles for those facing divorce.   @divorceforce (Twitter)

How To Handle Parental Guilt

We are not immune from parental guilt which can be intensified during divorce. One feels like they could have done more for the children, even when nearly at the breaking point. It is a challenge to juggle so many balls in the air during proceedings and not drop one from time to time. We can be our own worst critic – when in reality our actions were fine.

What helps is to have a conversation with the children and tell them that you are under stress. If you snap at the youngsters or are a bit blunt – it is not about them – but rather your tense situation. This helps the kids to feel more secure when told they are not the source of your periodic angry outbursts. When I was about to lose it, I took a time out. I told my sons to let me read for awhile and then I would be calmer.

When feeling that you have failed a child, talk it over with them. Often my sons did not see that anything was wrong, when I thought they were hurt or disappointed. Getting their perspective was a good reality check for me. Apologize if appropriate. Let the youngsters know that you feel badly for what happened. Both of you will feel better afterwards. This is a good example for them to see when someone has messed up, to say that you are sorry.

Even when some things cannot be helped, we still feel guilt. You may have a mandatory meeting at work scheduled during your daughter’s class play. An obligation may keep you from your son’s rugby match. Express your disappointment and let your child talk about how they feel. Reassure offspring that you still love them when you cannot be with them.

Do not label yourself as a bad parent when it is your choice to do something that you need to do for yourself. I recently had to stop calling myself “A bad mum” since I chose to go to a conference in London when my son would be home from university for spring break. I was torn about whether or not to leave, however decided to take the trip. As it turned out, my son had to work and departed before I did.

Notice where in your body you feel tension when you get that parental guilt. It may be a tightening in the chest or discomfort in the gut. When these sensations start to occur, recognize the need to step-back and regroup. Take deep breaths, go on a walk, do meditation or whatever relaxes you to prevent your stress level from escalating

Going out with friends was my cure. Discussing perceived parental shortcomings with others, can help you realize that you are actually doing a great job. Or your friends may have made a much bigger mistake than you did. Nice to know that other parents are not perfect either.  To read more  www.divorcemag.com/blog/how-to-deal-with-parental-guilt/

 

Communication Through The Arts For Children With Disabilities

fluteLife can be hard for children with disabilities. Athletic activities may be less practical for children with physical disabilities or difficulty balancing. However, the arts can be a safe space where they can express themselves, develop their minds and bond with others through creativity. Frequently, the challenge can be to get your child interested in an artistic endeavor.  Here are some ways you can help your child tap into their artistic side.

How the arts can help children with disabilities communicate  

The arts are important because even if your child has difficulty in academic subjects, you may find that they are naturally gifted in the arts. Engagement with the arts gives children, who may not be able to express themselves verbally, the opportunity to demonstrate their thoughts and feelings about a range of topics. The process of creation, whether it is visual art, music, or a dance routine, is powerful and helps to build self-esteem and confidence. This can lead to an in increased amount of determination to do well in all other areas of life including school.

Each type of fine art can benefit your child in different ways. Drawing, for example, helps to refine motor skills while teaching your child about shapes, shading, contrast, balance and other mathematical concepts.

How to help your child choose a fine art  

Occasionally, your child will gravitate to a particular subject, topic or form of expression on their own. This makes it significantly easier for you, as you will already have an idea of which type of artistic endeavor they will be interested in. In general, even if your child doesn’t have a particular focus of interest, it is relatively easy to tell. During free time, how does your child behave? Does he draw freehand, hum to himself, or move in rhythm in his chair? Also, how does your child act when around people? Is he gregarious and friendly or more withdrawn? Give them the opportunity to break away from established rules and express themselves artistically without any guidance other than their own inclination. Each of these can be indicating factors that can help you decide which fine art to enroll your child in.

Another way to discover your child’s interests is to expose them to different types of art – try playing different varieties of music, taking them to an art gallery, or going to see live theater. None of these activities are too strenuous for a child with disabilities and can be fascinating for children who have not experienced the arts in person before.

How to encourage your child in music  

If your child is musically inclined, the first task is to figure out what instrument they may wish to play. There are two ways to do this: either talk to them about what instruments they hear in different pieces and songs, or take them to a music shop and let them test out different instruments. Woodwinds including flutes, clarinets and saxophones, can be particularly good for children with impaired hearing, as they will still be able to feel the vibrations of the sound in the reed between their teeth as they play. To encourage your child to play their instrument, show genuine interest. Ask them questions about how their current piece is progressing, or even hold a home concert. If you are engaged in their artistic lives, they will be more likely to stick with it as they grow older.

Even if your child has had difficulty in school, becoming involved with the arts may be the way to get them interested in a wide variety of topics as their confidence builds. Showing excitement at each day’s progress will help raise their self-esteem even more.

Author of this article is Ashley Taylor   ashley@disabledparents.org

4 Key Life Skills To Teach Your Son When His Father Is Not Available

thumbnail__4KeyLifeSkillstoTeachYourSonifDadCan'We all wish our kids could have two solid, involved parents. But sometimes that just doesn’t happen. Regardless of the reason why their father isn’t in the picture anymore, it can feel as thought his place in your child’s life falls on your shoulders. That is a lot of responsibility, especially if you have a son. How can you teach him the same lessons that his father should have taught him?

The truth is that you may be able to teach him even better. There are some life lessons that go beyond how to shave, or the right way to tie a necktie. Lessons that are uniquely suited for a mother to pass down to her son, to make him a better man.

Expressing Emotion

Boys are taught from a young age to be “tough”. They aren’t supposed to cry, get too close to anyone, share how they feel…it is a toxic and unfair image that I have tried hard to break in my own sons. But the world is harsh and that message is so prevalent that it can be difficult to reach them.

As a mother, you can instill sensitivity and empathy in your son and show him that it is OK to have and express emotions.

Respecting Women

There is no doubt about it, there is a serious issue in our youth of how women and girls are portrayed. It is a battle that has been fought for many years and will continue to be. Whether because of pornography, modern media or just an incorrect view of a woman’s place in the world, we seem to be going backwards at times.

You can be a champion for respect, teaching your son how to view women in a healthy way and to treat them with the courtesy they deserve.

Trust and Dependability

A man’s word is all he has…that is a saying my dad used to say and I believe it firmly. Your son should know that if he wants to be trusted he has to show that he is dependable. If he lacks a steady fatherly role in his life, this may be an easy lesson to teach him, as he has seen the impact first hand of a lack of dependability and trustworthiness. You can also utilize the examples of wonderful father figures that surround your child to illustrate these key aspects needed in a man’s character.

Education

This one is a no-brainer. The importance of education, especially in today’s world, can’t be overstated. You should work with your son to see this critical idea. Be involved with his education and help him in his goals.

So many single mothers lament the lack of a father in their child’s life. But your son couldn’t be luckier…he has you! You can teach him those critical life lessons and help him to grow into the man you know he can be.

Author of this article, Tyler Jacobson, enjoys going to the mountains near his home in Draper, Utah to connect with his wife and children through camping, hiking, and quality time together. When he isn’t rebooting in the outdoors, he shares his fatherly experiences with the world through writing and creative work. Tyler shares the ups and downs of family life and the solutions he’s found through lengthy research and involvement in the industry and his own experiences to help parents everywhere. Follow Tyler on: Twitter |

 

 

Government Plans for Family Law in the Event of a No Deal Brexit

With Brexit negotiations still under way, the government released new plans this month (September 2018) that explain in detail any changes that may happen to Family Law and the judicial system in the unlikely event of the UK leaving the EU without a deal on 29th March 2019.

Currently, as a part of the EU, England, Wales and Northern Ireland follow the Brussels IIA rules when addressing matters of divorce, child custody and international child abduction in the court. According to the new plans released by the government on the 13th September, the Brussels IIA rules would be revoked in the case of a “no deal” Brexit. These changes may also affect the ‘Lis Pendens’ rules – within Family Law, Lis Pendens refers to the courts ability to cease divorce proceedings after an EU court has started the process of the case. Should the UK leave the EU without a deal, Lis Pendens rules would be repealed across England, Wales and Northern Ireland.

In the event of a no-deal Brexit on the 29th March, Equivalent Hague Conventions are set to replace previous EU rules. The government’s plans, released in September, explain how the previous EU laws would change to Hague Conventions which currently focus on matters of parental responsibility, rules regarding abducted children, central authority cooperation and maintenance recognition and enforcement. Even in the event of a no deal Brexit, Hague Conventions such as the Recognition of Divorces and Legal Separations and the 1970 Conventions will remain international law and will therefore continue in the UK.

In the event of a no deal Brexit, the UK doesn’t plan to axe all previous EU laws. Some of the Civil Family Law conventions the UK government intend on keeping include the 1980 Hague Convention on the Civil Aspects of International Child and the 2007 Hague Convention whereby the government would formally re-join the EU in the event of a no deal Brexit. The UK government have explained within their new plans that any rules and conventions surrounding same sex marriages and civil partnerships will also be replaced with new and independent UK laws.

Come the 29th March 2019, if you are in the middle of divorce or separation proceedings or any other family matters within a UK court, you should continue the process as normal and any case will be dealt with under independent UK rules opposed to EU rules. If you are going through an EU court however, it is suggested that you seek legal advice to determine any changes that may occur in your case as a result of Brexit negotiations.

The new plans released by the government have had both a positive and negative response – with some family law experts believing that a no deal Brexit will have a positive impact on the UK judicial system whilst some fear that new and independent rules will lead to an escalation of stresses and pressures within the court.

Kerry Smith is the Head of Family Law at K J Smith Solicitors, specialist family law solicitors in Reading that deal with a wide range of issues, including divorce, domestic violence, civil partnerships, and prenuptial agreements. Kerry has over 15 years experience in family law and is recommended by the Legal 500 guide to law firms in the UK.

 

7 Tips for Taking On Parenthood When You’re Living With a Disability

7 tipsWhen you’re about to be a new parent, it can be tricky to truly prepare for what lies ahead. But there are a few things you can do ahead of time to prepare. Here are seven steps you can take when you’re going to be a new parent and are living with a disability.

Talk About Parenting With Your Partner  

If you plan on parenting with a partner, it’s a good idea to sit down and really hash out what parenthood means to each of you. Talk about how tasks will be divided and what roles you expect each other to play. Discuss different parenting techniques and make final decisions together. Getting on the same page before your baby is born will diffuse any additional tension during an already stressful time.  

Set Budget Goals But Be Prepared for Surprises  

With a new baby on the way, you’ll want to set a budget. Expect monthly expenses to increase, and factor in new items, such as baby clothes, bottles, and diapers. Try to set aside some savings to cover any sudden financial issues. If you’re receiving any benefits, figure out if there will be changes to your benefits if you’re having a child, and don’t forget to review your health and life insurance as well.

Be Flexible With Your Schedule

If you live with a disability, you may be used to a certain routine. Know that children, and especially newborns, will cause some serious changes to your daily schedule. It may take time to work out a normal sleep pattern, and your life will revolve around feedings and care. Clear out your calendar for the first few weeks and don’t make any other plans except for parenting.  

Max Out Accessibility in Your Home  

Make sure your house is safe and ready for you and your baby. You’ll need to focus all your energy on the new little one, so take steps now to increase accessibility. If you haven’t already, think about replacing steps with a ramp, purchasing expandable hinges for doorways, and even installing skid-resistant flooring. Preventing accidents, like slips and falls, will make life as a parent easier and can make your home safer for a growing baby as well.  

Start Small Practices to Relieve Stress  

Any parent will tell you that nothing will stress you out quite like a new baby. So try to get yourself in the habit of practicing stress-relieving self-care now. You’ll likely be short on time when you bring your new baby home, so find brief, effective methods to relieve tension. Work on a little meditation routine or practice some acupressure on yourself. Minimizing stress will help you parent more productively.

Plan Out Meals for Those First Few Weeks   

Having a new baby will leave you with very little time to cook. So it’s smart to set up some quick, easy meals ahead of time. Prepare some casseroles and throw them in your freezer, or bag up some simple crockpot meals. If you have family and friends nearby, you can also ask them to organize a “meal train” to keep your family fed. Keeping speedy meals and convenient snacks around is a lifesaver for busy new parents.  

Find Help When You Need It  

Every parent needs help from time to time as we settle into our role. If you feel overwhelmed, think about calling a friend or family member to help you out with tasks around the house. You may even want to think about hiring someone to help you out, especially during the initial adjustment period. To a new parent, help can be priceless.

Every new parent feels some anxiety at first. With practice and planning, you’ll start to feel better soon. Know that you are fully capable of taking on this task. Congratulations on your new family member and welcome to the wonderful world of parenthood!

Author of this article is Ashley Taylor   ashley@disabledparents.org

The Role of Father Figures in Your Child’s Life

thumbnail_fatherfiguresIn a perfect world, children would grow up in happy, loving families, enjoying the attention of both their birth parents. Unfortunately, our world is far from perfect and parenting roles keep evolving. Where nuclear families were once clear cut, parents now have to fit in different roles from step-parents, single parents, co-parents and so on.

As a result, many children are growing up without their biological father’s presence in their lives. Regardless of how uninvolved a father is in the life of his child, don’t fret. There are other men who will ably step into that role to provide the love, support and guidance your child needs. These father figures can include grandfathers, uncles, a trusted family friend, teacher or pastor or even a sports coach. What matters is that they are able and willing to be present and involved in your child’s upbringing.

The Importance Of Father Figures

While there are many single parents who do an excellent job of bringing up their children solo, having a father figure there brings added value. Research suggests that children with active father figures have fewer psychological and behavioral problems. Such relationships have a profound influence on a child’s development, positively impacting their moral, social and cognitive growth.

Father figures step up to the plate and create opportunities to interact with your child just as their biological fathers would- bonding through play, reading stories, fishing, sports, movie nights etc. Other than being a positive and guiding influence in your child’s life, having a strong bond with an affectionate father figure has also been shown to somehow inoculate children against alcohol and substance abuse, making them less likely to end up as troubled teens.

Additionally, the relationship your child has with their father figure can affect their future relationships. The early interactions from childhood can act as a blueprint for other relationships throughout the child’s life, influencing their interactions with others as well as giving them an idea of what acceptable behavior in a relationship is.

Since boys typically model themselves after their fathers, they require positive male role models with good values to look up to. The father figure will provide an example of how a man acts towards other men, women and children and also how to behave in different social and professional situations. As your son grows into his teens, he will greatly appreciate having a man who listens, guides and provides advice and support to navigate tricky situations that teenage boys find themselves in.

Girls on the other hand, will use the relationship with their father figures to form opinions of how men should treat women. A loving, kind and gentle male role model will do a lot to boost your daughter’s self-esteem. As she moves into the dating world, she is likely to pick partners with the same characteristics as her father figure because that’s what she’s familiar with.

So even if your child’s biological father is no longer in the picture know that there are other father figures who can step into those shoes and provide the positive guidance, unconditional love, genuine affection and sincere support that your child needs.

Author of this article, Tyler Jacobson, enjoys going to the mountains near his home in Draper, Utah to connect with his wife and children through camping, hiking, and quality time together. When he isn’t rebooting in the outdoors, he shares his fatherly experiences with the world through writing and creative work. Tyler shares the ups and downs of family life and the solutions he’s found through lengthy research and involvement in the industry and his own experiences to help parents everywhere. Follow Tyler on: Twitter | LinkedIn

 

5 Steps Parents Can Take to Improve Their Family’s Financial Health

5 steps

Raising a family is expensive. If you have kids or are expecting your first, that’s not news to you. Some days it feels impossible to afford the bare necessities of food, clothing and a roof over your head. However, as a parent, you also need to think about your family’s overall financial health.  

If you haven’t given serious thought to financial planning, now is the time to start. The sooner you get a handle on your finances and start saving for the future, the more financially secure your family will be. Here’s where to start.

1. Assess Your Income

Does your current income allow you to live comfortably and achieve your financial goals? If not, increasing your income should be at the center of your financial plan. While you can always cut expenses to save money, a higher income is the best long-term solution to financial security. Start thinking about ways you can earn a raise, find a higher-paying position, or pivot your career to increase your income.

2. Examine Your Debt

Most families have some debt (about 80 percent, according to USA Today). That’s not necessarily a bad thing, but if your debt is preventing you from achieving other financial goals, you’re using credit cards to spend money you don’t have, or you’re struggling to make headway due to high interest rates, you need to take action about your debt.  

List all your debts including outstanding balances, interest rates and minimum monthly payments. Putting it all out in front of you allows you to assess the state of your debt and devise a repayment plan that lets you get ahead. If you find it difficult to keep track of all your accounts, consider debt consolidation. Consolidation combines unsecured debts like student loans, credit cards, and medical bills into a single monthly payment so they’re easier to manage. However, debt consolidation isn’t guaranteed to work in your favor. It’s important to understand the process and how it will affect your debt before choosing to consolidate.

3. Create an Emergency Fund

Everyone needs an emergency fund, but it’s particularly important for parents. An emergency fund enables you to cover minor emergencies without fretting over the bill and remain stable if your job situation changes. Calculate how much money you’d need to cover three months of expenses and set aside funds each paycheck until your emergency fund reaches that number. If you’re a single-income household, aim for six months instead of three.

4. Budget for Childcare

According to Care.com, one in three families spend 20 percent or more of their income on child care. This makes childcare one of the biggest household expenses that parents face and affording it requires careful budgeting. Even when one parent stays home to care for children, there’s a loss of income to account for. Examine your budget to find areas where you can cut expenses and consider flexing your work schedule to reduce the amount of paid childcare needed. Parents can also save money by signing up for a Flexible Spending Account or using the child-care tax credit.

5. Prepare for the Unknown

Life throws a lot of curveballs. When you’re a parent, it’s up to you to be ready for them. Life insurance and a will are two things every parent needs to protect their family from the unexpected.  

Life insurance pays out a death benefit if the policyholder passes away. With a life insurance policy, your family has money to pay for a funeral and stay afloat following a loss of income. However, life insurance alone isn’t enough. You also need a will that names guardians to care for your children if you pass away. Writing a will is complicated, so it’s best to consult with a lawyer.

Author of this article, Tilda Moore, researches and writes about educational resources for openeducators.org. She is passionate about helping parents and teachers in providing kids with the best education possible. She works directly with teachers and other public education groups to ensure they are working toward our vision of constructing a reliable database of verified information

 

Supplementing Your Income When Going Through A Divorce

The average cost of a divorce in the US is $20,000, and that’s if it goes smoothly in arbitration. For couples who need to battle it out in the court room, a two-day trial alone can stretch into the region of $25,000 before any settlement figures are reached. There’s no denying that divorce is an expensive business, and many ex-spouses struggle to stay afloat financially. If this sounds familiar, you might benefit from making a passive income – earning an additional stream of money without trading too much of your time. Consider the following ways to give your cash flow a boost during this difficult stage in life.

Renting Your Space

Space is a hot commodity, and the digital age makes it easier than ever to match up people needing extra additional room with those who are looking to make some money. Take a look at your property and assess if there are any money-making opportunities to be had. Do you have a garage that you could offer as a storage space? Or a parking space that you don’t use all the time? If you’re happy to welcome guests into your home, then you might even consider letting out a spare bedroom either on a semi-permanent basis or in an AirBnB-style arrangement.

Crowdfunding Real Estate

Another way to make money from real estate requires a small upfront investment. Starting with as little as $500, you can crowd-invest in a specific property and watch your pot grow so long as the market is looking strong. It’s a fantastic way to gain knowledge of the industry without requiring too much risk. With the right investment, you should be able to enjoy consistent  returns, without the responsibility of being a direct property owner  www.creditdonkey.com/real-estate-crowdfunding.html

Use Your Phone

With increasing numbers of consumers becoming attached to their smartphones, perhaps it’s time for your favorite device to get to work for you during your divorce. Some companies will pay you to display an ad on your smartphone lock screen – all you have to do is download an app. It’s also possible to make money by calling up companies as a mystery shopper, asking basic questions that customers need to know and then recording your experience of the call to be used by marketing departments.

Blogging

If you have access to a computer, and you love to write, then this is a great way to generate an additional income stream. If you have a hobby, skill or just a subject that you feel passionate about, then set up a blog and become an expert on the topic. Blog about everything to do with it, providing informative content which offers value to the reader and shout out about it on social media to gain a band of loyal followers.

Once you’re hitting some decent traffic figures, you’ll be able to make money from advertising and affiliate revenue. This option does require a little more effort than some passive income ideas, but once you’ve carried out some initial groundwork, you should be able to sit back and make money in your sleep.

These are just a few ways to generate additional funds, and of course there’s nothing to stop you having several streams of income running at once. The important thing to remember is that there are plenty of opportunities out there, and that will continue to be the case long after your divorce is settled.

Author of this article, Lucy Wyndham, is a freelance writer and former Financial Advisor. After a decade in industry, she took a step backward to spend more time with her family and to follow her love of writing.  

How Society Can Be Supportive To Children Of Divorce

Society is not always putting children’s interests first in other people’s divorces, and sometimes side with a parent. They do not understand the affect that their actions have on the children when meddling in others’ affairs. The key is to be cognizant that you were not present behind closed doors, and were not privy to exactly what occurred. One witnesses the mask of an adult’s public persona which may hide a much darker side. An example of this is, my son was asked by a friend to be a character witness when he was trying to get custody of his children away from his late wife’s parents. He did do this and later was appalled when discovering the father was a sociopath who manipulated others and did atrocious acts. The moral of this story is to let the professionals sort out a situation and do not assume you know all of the facts.

Believe the children. When a few children showed me bruises and discussed abuse or neglect, I immediately called the police in my role as school nurse. I did not say, “Oh, their parents would never do that” because this is how some clergy and pillars of the community are able to molest kids. One youngster was molested by a parent and confided this to his long-term Martial Arts instructor who was active in a child protection organization. He flat out told the boy he was lying because he knew his father and he would not do such a thing. This crushed the young student who dropped out of that activity. You may think a kid is trying to get attention and the allegation is not true, but do not say that to the child. The child’s best interest is the most important thing, not someone else’s reputation.

Do not agree to be a messenger service for a parent who is estranged or the court denied them contact. One parent who lost visitation, repeatedly sent his friends to his teenager’s workplace. They pumped the boy for information about his family or said how sad his dad was. Others tried to bribe the son to resume seeing his dad. This puts a child on the spot and is disruptive when being on the job. The teen is trying to be professional and does not want to discuss an abusive history with strangers or acquaintances. When I was dining in my favourite restaurant post-divorce with my kids, the owner came over and said that he had a message to deliver from my ex. This took me by surprise and upset the boys. I did not listen to it, told this friend not to play middleman again, and to refuse to take on the messenger role in the future. He actually was relieved.

If you witness verbal abuse towards a child of divorce, please step in and intervene. One mum was livid when the parents present did not help her son at a Boy Scout Meeting. The scout master was a good friend of the boy’s father and was continually telling him he was behaving badly towards that parent. One evening he screamed at the child and accused him of being disrespectful to his dad. The lad became hysterical and my friend had to rush over and pick up her son. Both collaborative solicitors accepted the therapist’s advice to drop scouts. At school, I occasionally overhear pupils asking a kid about an absent parent. I quickly change the subject and bring up a topic, such as the upcoming science fair or school concert. When you see a child of divorce is uncomfortable or is in a bad spot, please come to their aid.

Personify kindness and be non-judgemental when being around children of divorce. Do not try to reunite a child with a parent as that is not your business. Be supportive to children and let them know you are happy to listen. A divorce is between two adults and is not a free-for-all, with others getting involved. Hold your opinions and judgements when talking to children of divorce, especially when it is about their parents. If people think before they open their mouths in general, the world would be a better place.

Originally published in The Divorce Magazine   thedivorcemagazine.co.uk

How To Reduce Stress Through Exercise

How To Reduce Stress Through ExerciseDivorce is among one of the most stressful events that we can go through in our lives. It’s second only to the death of a loved one. However, if you ask around, you might hear that even death might be easier to deal with than a family that is torn apart over abuse or betrayal.

Besides divorce, we face stressful life situations day in and day out: maintaining hectic schedules, demands of work and family, the emotional needs of important people in our lives, financial stress, and self image are a few things that quickly come to mind.

One proven way to reduce the physical and emotional stress of a divorce is through regular physical activity. Pair this approach with talk therapy, self-improvement, and medication when appropriate and you have all the tools you need to heal and happily move on with your life.

The Proven Link Between Stress and Activity

Scientists have long since seen that having too little exercise can have a major negative impact on mood and mental health. One of the most common pieces of advice from any medical professional is to make sure you are getting some physical activity in everyday, whatever that activity might be.

As you move through the difficult stages of divorce, from the first filing to navigating a new world of dating and single parent life, keeping physically active is a natural way to help lower the stress levels that are impacting your body.

If you are finding yourself slipping into depression or being overwhelmed with stress, a simple and affordable solution to this problem is to make fitness unavoidably accessible. If the gym is a good social setting for you, grab a membership and get to work. If exercising at home suits you better, home gym equipment is an affordable way to stay on top of a fitness routine. Being realistic with your current state, your time restrictions, and other life factors, decide the best route for your physical activity and get on it!

How Exactly Does Physical Activity Alleviate Stress?

Physical activity produces more endorphins. Endorphins are the feel good chemicals of your brain that naturally elevate your mood. They make you happier, more cheerful and help to replace pain, both physical and emotional.

Physical activity takes your mind to a healthy place. Nothing is worse for stress than sitting and dwelling on a problem, replaying past scenarios or recent arguments, worrying about things out of your control, or whatever it might be. While feelings can’t be ignored, they should definitely take a back seat on a regular basis to make room for positive thoughts and growth. Exercise encourages focused thought and can even act as a form of meditation, removing the stressful thinking from the brain and helping you think about other things.

Physical activity increases self esteem. Stress plays a major part in the way we view ourselves. A “can’t-do” attitude is prevalent as we worry or doubt ourselves. This slippery slope is quick to move past the current issues at hand and bring to light other worries and doubts we’ve had about ourselves whether it be our appearance, our work ethic, our parenting, and more. As you increase your physical activity, you reach goals (confidence boost #1), increase physical and mental strength (confidence boost #2), and enhance your physical appearance (confidence boost #3). With these three motives for self-growth, self-esteem is bound to grow as well.

In the end, exercise is one of the best things for us. Especially when we are being bombarded with stress. Implement a regular schedule of “you” time to get your body moving, your endorphins flowing, your mind lightened, and you’ll work through those stressful issues at hand.

Author of this article, Tyler Jacobson, enjoys going to the mountains near his home in Draper, Utah to connect with his wife and children through camping, hiking, and quality time together. When he isn’t rebooting in the outdoors, he shares his fatherly experiences with the world through writing and creative work. Tyler shares the ups and downs of family life and the solutions he’s found through lengthy research and involvement in the industry and his own experiences to help parents everywhere. Follow Tyler on: Twitter | LinkedIn

Wendi’s note:  Exercise Calculator – A helpful Tool That Can Help You Achieve Your Fitness Goals Faster  https://fitnessvolt.com/30723/calories-burned-by-exercises/

Parenting Tips For Disciplining Kids With ADHD

Parenting Tips For Disciplining Kids With ADHDParenting a child with ADHD can be hectic, especially when you’re trying to find a healthy balance between your work and family life.

By definition, kids with ADHD frequently have trouble staying on task, controlling their impulses, sitting still and even following direction. Thanks to these unique symptoms and behavioral issues, discipline tactics that are effective on other kids might not be suitable for those with ADHD.

Parents of such kids need to seek out discipline strategies that will help their children to not only keep out of mischief but also learn how to control and manage their symptoms.

Here are some tips on how to best manage kids with ADHD and get them to follow your rules:

1. Provide daily doses of positive attention.

Children with ADHD can be exhausting to keep up with. They seem to have an unending supply of energy coupled with a desire to talk constantly and this can tire out the most patient among us.

However, in order to curb attention-seeking behavior, practice giving your child focused positive attention. Spending even 30 minutes daily playing and bonding together brings you closer and makes your discipline more effective.

2. Give simple and clear instructions.

Rattling out chain commands for kids with ADHD to follow isn’t a good idea as they have notoriously short attention spans. A better approach is to give simple clear instructions.

To make your instructions more effective, get your child’s attention by establishing eye contact, then say something like, “Please put your toys away.” Have your child repeat what you’ve said to make sure they’ve understood. This works better than giving multiple instructions at once.

3. Motivate good behavior with positive reinforcement.

A little praise when your child does something good goes a long way. It motivates and encourages them. This is especially important for kids with ADHD as they require frequent feedback. When doling out praise, make it specific. So instead of saying, “Good job,” say, “ Great job putting away all your toys after playing with them.”

4. Pick your battles wisely.

Kids with ADHD usually exhibit attention-seeking behavior. They may make loud noises, whine or otherwise try to interrupt you. Rewarding such obnoxious behavior with attention only encourages it to continue.

On the other hand, constantly disciplining your child for mild misbehavior can make them feel like they can’t do anything right. Allowing some minor misdemeanors to slide helps keep the peace sometimes.

5. Use a reward system to keep your kid on track.

Another great way to encourage children with ADHD to stay on task is by rewarding them. These kids get bored if they have to wait for their rewards for a long time so a token economy system would work perfectly. This way, your child earns tokens throughout the day for good behavior and these can be redeemed later for rewards like more screen time or a playdate.

When it comes to disciplining kids with ADHD, some creativity and a whole lot of love and patience will produce the desired results.

Author of this article, Tyler Jacobson, enjoys going to the mountains near his home in Draper, Utah to connect with his wife and children through camping, hiking, and quality time together. When he isn’t rebooting in the outdoors, he shares his fatherly experiences with the world through writing and creative work. Tyler shares the ups and downs of family life and the solutions he’s found through lengthy research and involvement in the industry and his own experiences to help parents everywhere. Follow Tyler on: Twitter | LinkedIn

 

 

Why Mindfulness Helps In Divorce And Other Stressful Events

Mindfulness is, to put it simply, the practice of focusing your attention on the here and the now; of training yourself to exert a greater degree of control over your thoughts in order to stop them from veering into unpleasant territory. Before I tried mindfulness, I believed that the physical sensations I associated with anxiety were caused by my thoughts. Instead, the physical sensations we associate with anxiety are a survival mechanism which served our ancestors well but, with the world posing much less of a physical threat than it did in their day, it’s become significantly less helpful.

For 27 years, I suffered from debilitating anxiety. This, I believe, provided me with experience that I was able to utilise when providing clients caught in the midst of a divorce with tangible advice. It made me more empathetic, more understanding of their situation and more motivated to help them. When the prospect of having to give a speech on my wedding day brought about worry so severe that I had no option but to seek help, I discovered something that would help not only me, but hundreds of my clients, too.

What this means is that, when you feel anxious, it’s little more than a random biological occurrence; a release of chemicals designed to make you more aware of the world around you and more prepared to deal with physical threats. Often, the experience is brief and simply passes away. During times of stress, however, this physical sensation causes us to analyse our current situation and find a reason to be worried. This results in a cyclical process that feeds our anxieties leaving us feeling stresses, exhausted and irritable – particularly whilst we’re in the midst of a highly stressful even such as a divorce.

Why mindfulness helps

Whilst it might appear as though the practice of mindfulness is one that is exclusively centred on controlling our thoughts, this is only half of the story. We are, for example, not always aware of what we’re thinking and are not always capable of choosing to think of something else as a result. Instead, mindfulness is centred on choosing to change our thoughts when we are indeed aware of them. Equally important, though, is that it teaches us to be accepting of the fact that we will not always be in control of our thoughts and that this is ok. Our minds have a tendency to wander so it’s vital that we accept that we’ll have negative thoughts and that, rather than aggressively trying to exert control over them, we should be kind to ourselves and gently try to think of something else.

Mindfulness – by improving understanding of anxiety and it’s causes, coupled with its non-aggressive means of exerting greater control over our thoughts – is proven to significantly increase people’s confidence in their ability to cope with change whilst reducing stress. I can attest to this personally; as can many of the clients I’ve helped over the past few years.

With time, mindfulness helps people to live in the moment. As a result, it is not only extremely beneficial when it comes to helping people through their divorces but, as it often also brings a new-found appreciation for the world around us, is fantastic preparation for the new life that awaits them post-divorce, too.

Author Bio:

Jay Williams works for Quickie Divorce, one of the UK’s leading providers of fast, affordable online divorce solutions.

 

7 Things Single Parents Must Do to Keep Their Sanity with Teenagers

7 Things Single Parents Must Do to Keep Their Sanity with TeenagersBeing a single parent to little kids ain’t easy. Being one to teenagers? Even harder. For most parents this is uncharted territory that comes with a whole new style of stress that is so different from how parenting was before the dreaded thirteen benchmark was breached. It doesn’t help that we so often try to compensate as single parents by trying to be Super Mom or Super Dad and do it all.

You have a lot on your plate, but it is crucial that you still take some time for yourself. Otherwise you can be sure of burnout nipping at your heels. This will make you a less effective parent and a more stressed person, in general.

Here are seven things you can do to keep your sanity through the teen years, by making some adjustments to your priorities.

Find The Humor In It – Next time you are getting ready to confront the kids, save your breath. Try and laugh it off and let it go. It saves you time and stress.

Don’t Panic – Tempted to fly off the handle and begin panic-fixing all the issues your teen just brought you? Go for a walk. Cool off. You will probably find a better solution that won’t take so much effort.

Let Them Fail – It is ten at night and your teen just told you they had a science project due. Don’t come to the rescue, sacrificing your sleep to get them out of the bind. Let them fail…it is a good life lesson.

Start Giving More Responsibility – Don’t have any time to take for yourself? Start handing more responsibility to your teen. Not only does this free up your schedule, but it begins to prepare them for the adult world they are rapidly approaching.

Balance Parenting With Friendship – You are their parent, not their friend. Right? Well, you can actually be both. By looking at the time you spend with your teens as also being pleasant time with friends, you may find yourself relaxing more in their presence.

Have “Office Hours” – Obviously, important matters have to be addressed right away. But short of that, set times when you are “in the office” and times when you are “out of the office”. When you’re out, they fend for themselves.

Get Active and Stay Active – Yoga, running, swimming, hiking, sports, weight lifting…whatever if it you enjoy that keeps you active, get out there and do it. Not only is this great “me” time, but it is a way to stay healthy, relieve stress and improve things like sleep and energy levels.

Having teenagers is stressful, but it is also an opportunity to begin taking better care of your own needs. By taking some time for yourself you will be a more effective parent and happier, healthier and ready for anything thrown your way.

Author of this article, Tyler Jacobson, enjoys going to the mountains near his home in Draper, Utah to connect with his wife and children through camping, hiking, and quality time together. When he isn’t rebooting in the outdoors, he shares his fatherly experiences with the world through writing and creative work. Tyler shares the ups and downs of family life and the solutions he’s found through lengthy research and involvement in the industry and his own experiences to help parents everywhere. Follow Tyler on: Twitter | LinkedIn

 

What Makes A Couple A Good Candidate For Divorce Mediation?

Marriages can end for a variety of reasons but knowing what those reasons are can be important for the divorce process. Divorce mediation is best for couples separating on amicable terms, or who can at least speak with each other reasonably. Couples with children, aiming to have a cooperative relationship despite the divorce, also benefit more often from mediation. Divorce mediation focuses on the cost of the divorce, in both money and effort, first and foremost.

It Benefits Those Who Part Amicably

Any good divorce mediator will tell you that a couple with children benefit from divorce mediation. One study showed roughly 79% of couples with children who received mediation fought less in the period after their mediation was completed. The children were also asked whether the former couple could cooperate better, or displayed intense arguing before their children, and the study suggested those who sought mediation were more likely to act civil in the child’s eyes.

Divorce mediation also tends to be more forgiving for parents or spouses after the settlement is reached. Arbitration and litigation can set strict guidelines for both sides to achieve, such as child support payment or reparations. These can be harsh or imbalanced for those whose jobs or living situations will be in flux shortly after the divorce, even if the party intending to receive these payments would prefer to show leniency to the other party in the divorce while they recover.

Couples Who Already Know What They Want

Divorce mediation works on the premise that both sides are seeking to reach an agreement. The divorce mediator speaks their mind and helps to outline who is responsible for what costs, and what settlements both parties might receive, but all decisions are reached by the divorcing couple. So, if a couple is unsure of their assets, or simply need a disagreement settled, mediation can help. But when both parties are seeking reparations, arbitration is the better option.

The costs of mediation are lower than the costs of arbitration or civil court. So if both spouses have an idea about what they should receive, and the two beliefs have a large degree of overlap, this can be a sign to use divorce mediation. Divorce mediation is arguably the most cost-efficient manner of settling disagreements caused by the divorce process, and either party can cancel the mediation at any time if they feel that mediation simply wasn’t the right option.

It’s Best for Equals Seeking Privacy

Divorce mediation is best for spouses who treat each other as relative equals during the divorce. Couples divorcing due to domestic abuse or power balances in the relationship should not seek mediation. Most mediators don’t know these circumstances before the meeting, and the domineering spouse can quickly swing the negotiations in their favour. Likewise, victims of abuse often feel validated by speaking to a mediator and become emboldened during the dividing process.

Divorce mediation is also a good choice for spouses who seek an interpersonal discussion with minimal interference. Because mediation focuses on having the two spouses reach an agreement, the meetings are usually restricted to only the two spouses and the mediator themselves. Relatives or friends can be disbarred from the mediation to avoid third-party interests that might muddy the discussion and lead to a more tense, divisive negotiations.

Conclusion

Divorce mediation isn’t a process that is right for every couple. Those who argue about the fundamental elements of the divorce, or whose marriage was short and had few entanglements may wish to skip it. Divorce mediation is also a poor choice for those seeking validation or to prove who’s “right” and “wrong”. But good candidates for mediation include those with children, those who seek a working relationship afterwards, or those who want to keep divorce costs low.

Author of this article is Judith Goldberg   judithgoldberg.com/

Advice For Dads Surviving The Divorce Process

The decision to get divorced is one of the hardest ones you will ever make, and when there are children involved, that gets even harder.

As a father, it can be hard to know what your place should be and how your relationship with your children will be affected. Divorce is never easy, but there are ways to get through it relatively unscathed.

Behaviour

There is a tendency to want to defend ourselves in the strongest possible way when faced with accusations, insults or bitterness, but this can often make things worse. This doesn’t mean that you should ignore what is being said to you, but exert some control and try not to retaliate. By reacting in a more rational manner you can be more careful and thoughtful, and avoid providing ammunition that can be used against you later.

It is important to think about how you behave at all times. Keep your drink and drug intake under control and avoid getting into a scene in public and avoid all forms of abuse. These will all lead to questions about your levels of responsibility and your reputation that will all favour the mother in court.

Many men feel that it is their place to move out of the family home when the marriage breaks down. By doing this before the divorce is complete, you automatically give your wife practical custody and therefore a stronger position in any custody battle. You may find yourself sleeping in the spare room or on the sofa and keeping your head down, but by staying at home you still get to be a daily parent.

Keeping Records

In the midst of a court battle, it is easy to forget the details of what has happened and when. Try to keep a written record of what is done and said in the divorce process and the dates that these things occur. If anything negative happens publically, make a note of any witnesses.

You should also keep a record of your finances, including your own spending, what you give to your partner and what you spend on the family bills. Make sure that you print out your bank statements regularly to keep a track of any withdrawals made by your spouse.

This will all help in negotiations to provide accurate representations of what happens and what your financial obligations are.

Get Legal Advice

There is a stereotype that men are not good at asking for help, but in this case you have to. Get yourself a family law solicitor as soon as possible who can help to guide you through the process. Look for recommendations and reputation to make sure you are represented by someone who has your best interests at heart. They will be able to advise you on every aspect of the divorce but it is important that you remain open and honest with them at all times.

Also make sure that you seek emotional support from those closest to you. Divorce can be a lonely time, so don’t be afraid to find someone to lean on.

The Children

The children can often be forgotten about during a divorce, so make sure you keep talking to them and maintain a positive relationship. Whilst it is good to be open with them about what is happening, avoid talking negatively about their mother in front of them.

Divorce is an unpredictable thing, so be prepared for a bumpy ride. You may be faced with a lot of things you weren’t expecting and many of them will seem unfair, but keep calm and be prepared and you will eventually come out the other side.

Fletcher Day are a full service law firm based in Mayfair, London. Their team of  divorce attorneys for men, can advise on a range of matters relating to family law including divorce, prenuptial agreements, civil partnerships and separation agreements.  www.fletcherday.co.uk/private/family-law/

Banish First-Day Jitters: Tips for Heading Back to School

tildaWho doesn’t love the magic that only summer vacation promises? However, as those relaxing summer days come to an end, it’s never too early to talk and listen to your children about their hopes and concerns for the first day of school. First-day jitters are normal for kids and their parents. Often, it’s the fear of the unknown and those “what-ifs” that jangle the nerves. Incorporate these suggestions as the summer’s end marches closer.

Out with the Old  

Set aside a day or two to go through last year’s clothing and supplies to see what works; make piles of items to keep, toss, and donate. Check with local churches or other organizations to find back-to-school supply and clothing drives; donate your child’s outgrown and gently used things.

Plan and Adjust Those Schedules  

Many kids scale back extracurricular activities during the summer. As late August approaches, tackle logistics by sitting down with everyone to coordinate each day. Use a dry-erase weekly calendar to track activities. Discuss educational nuts and bolts like homework routines so they’re kept consistent. For older kids and families, synch everyone’s calendar apps so you’re all on the same page. If your kiddo plays a sport or has a job, make sure to account for the time those activities require while also ensuring your child gets enough sleep.

Easier (If Not Happier) Mornings  

Elementary-aged kids need at least 10 hours of sleep each night. Before school resumes, start your kiddo on a regular bedtime and wake-up routine to reduce first-day stress. Pack lunches and backpacks, and lay out outfits the night before. Plan breakfasts ahead of time, too.

Back-to-School Prep  

Not much trumps the excitement of shopping for brand new school supplies. Get the kids involved! Schedule a date day to take your kiddo shopping for new clothing and shoes; make it extra-special with a “just the two of you” lunch or ice cream treat to celebrate a new beginning — and all those new supplies and clothes!

Many school supply lists include a request for headphones. Many over-the-ear options, which are better for little ears, are relatively inexpensive; you can find a good pair for less than $100. It’s a worthwhile investment your kiddo can use while listening to music, playing online games, or completing online exercises for school.

Help Calm Anxiety  

When your child’s a bit anxious about his new teacher or new school, stay positive. Attend an open house, especially if it’s scheduled before the new year starts, so you and your child can meet the new teacher and get acclimated to the school. Encourage your kiddo to get excited about the new year by reminding him about past trips, projects, and fun events — and upcoming opportunities to learn cool stuff this year.

Know other kids in your child’s class? Set up a few playdates before school’s back in session so that the kids can reconnect. It’s a great way to rekindle friendships, especially if the kids haven’t seen each other all summer.

Smoothing the Transition for Younger Students  

Younger children who are moving to a different school or starting school for the first time have other fears and anxieties that you calm with these suggestions.

If your kiddo attended the same school last year but has moved to a new grade/new teacher, remind her of the routine, and invite her to share the differences and fun changes to anticipate. If it’s her first year, visit the school a few times — check out the playground and see if it’s open and whether you can take a tour, even if you’ll attend orientation. The more she sees the school, the less she’ll worry on the first “official” day.

Create a goodbye routine that may include a special goodbye phrase. Plan something special to celebrate the end of the first day — a plate of fresh-baked chocolate chip cookies waiting at home or dinner at her favorite restaurant.

Although it’s still too soon time to trade swimsuits for backpacks, remind your kids that the upcoming school year promises a different kind of discovery, exploration, and fun — and that nerves are normal, too!

Author of this article, Tilda Moore, researches and writes about educational resources for openeducators.org. She is passionate about helping parents and teachers in providing kids with the best education possible. She works directly with teachers and other public education groups to ensure they are working toward our vision of constructing a reliable database of verified information

 

How To Help Children Going Through Grief During Divorce

It may appear that children are adjusting well to their parents’ divorce, however they may be going through grief and hiding it. They do not want to be an extra burden to stressed-out parents. The youngsters’ world is being torn apart and they may be struggling. We are preoccupied with out divorce proceedings and can miss what is really going on with the kids. Through no fault of their own, the children often have to pack up their possessions for a move which may entail going to a new school. Divorce involves loss which includes financially, possibly resulting in a few activities having to be eliminated.

The stages of grief, according Dr. Elizabeth Kubler-Ross who wrote the classic book On Death and Dying, are denial, anger, bargaining, depression and acceptance. At first, youngsters can be in shock hearing the divorce news, especially when a couple drifted apart without a flaming row. Give them some space and a little time to absorb this new situation. The kids need time to process their emotions and realize what aspects of their lives will remain unchanged. It helps to have them talk to a neutral third party, especially when in denial, thinking the separation will blow over and their parents will be getting back together. Children may be in denial because the future looks uncertain. Having a divorce book for children, such as Soila Sindiyo’s When Love is Broken can be reassuring.

The kids may be quite angry, act out, or voice the unfairness of it all. Accept that anger is a natural part of the grief cycle, for both parents and offspring. It is how anger is expressed which is important. Going around the house smashing china is not okay, but sparring with a punching bag is. Give the wee ones opportunities to release anger through physical activities. Allow extra playtime in the park or taking up a sport. Venting to a family friend or teacher can be cathartic for the children.

Explain that while the marital relationship is ending, you both will be co-parenting together. It is crucial to let kids know that they are in no way responsible for their parents’ break up. In the bargaining stage, kids may think “If only I do… then my parents will stay together.” Help youngsters not to blame themselves for the divorce and to accept that they cannot fix the marriage. Divorce is happening.

Depression is often defined as anger turned inwards. Children may feel helpless and become depressed. They may experience sadness especially in a prolonged, acrimonious divorce. The kids may hide depression and just go along with the program. If seeming out of sorts, consider having them meet with a professional for at least one session to assess how they are coping. One of my sons was diagnosed with depression during divorce and had therapy to get him through it. He is a jovial fellow now.

Eventually kids come to acceptance in the grief cycle. They realize that divorce is not just dark storm clouds, but also ones with a silver lining. My father remarried a few years after divorce and as an only child, I was delighted to acquire an instant extended family. That was my silver lining. My new grandparents, aunts, uncles and cousins treated me as one of the tribe.

There are ways to help kids move through divorce. Plan special outings – such as going to a carnival (my son’s suggestion), an amusement park or playground. We watched comedies, walked in parks, went bowling and had some adventures. My late mum loved traveling, so the boys and I accompanied her on cruises during and post-divorce. There is nothing like the sea air to get one out of the doldrums. See what works out best for your situation, such as taking up a sport together. Keep the lines of communication open and encourage youngsters to express their feelings. It helps people to know that experiencing grief during divorce is normal and life does get better.

Originally published in The Divorce Magazine   thedivorcemagazine.co.uk

Why Staying Together For The Sake Of The Children Is Not Always Best

Parents sometimes feel that they are doing their children a favour by staying together instead of getting a divorce. Are two parents in the house better than in two separate households? Not according to a study done in the UK. 82% of children stated it was better for their parents to separate than stay together because of them. Emotions are contagious which means kids pick up on the unhappiness and tension in the home. Parents may erroneously feel that their angry or hurt feelings are well hidden behind smiling masks. Youngsters are smart and figure out that something is not right between their parents. My sons asked me for several years why I waited so long to get a divorce. My parents screamed at each other behind a closed door when I was a toddler. They divorced when I was four and it seemed like Christmas every day afterwards.

Some couples claim that they are staying together for the sake of the kids when the real reason i