The Importance of Communication During Divorce Mediation
Divorce is an emotionally charged and complex process that can be difficult for all parties involved. When a marriage comes to an end, especially if the relationship has ended abruptly and without mutual agreement, it can be challenging to come to terms with how to divide assets, child custody, and other vital matters, you can always go to court, but that is not only expensive, but it can further damage your relationship with your soon-to-be-former spouse as well as your kids. This is where divorce mediation comes in. In this article, we’ll dive into the importance of communication during divorce mediation and how it can help both parties reach a fair and mutually beneficial agreement.
Divorce Mediation vs. Litigation: Why Communication Matters
Before we start exploring the benefits of divorce mediation and how to make the most of it by communicating effectively, let’s learn more about what makes it different than litigation. Perhaps you’re feeling overwhelmed and angry and feel that litigation is the best way to go. However, remember that litigation involves a court battle that can be costly, time-consuming, and emotionally draining. It often involves a lack of communication between parties, and instead, it relies on attorneys to argue the case in front of a judge.
On the other hand, divorce mediation allows both parties to control the outcome and collaborate toward a mutually beneficial solution. Communication is an integral part of this process, and it enables both parties to express their needs, concerns, and perspectives. As a result, mediation can be a more effective and efficient way to resolve a divorce, both in terms of cost and, more importantly, emotional stress.
Why is Healthy Communication Crucial During Divorce Mediation?
The key to successful divorce mediation lies in effective communication. Effective communication can help to reduce stress and tension during the divorce process. It can create a more peaceful environment and make the entire process less emotionally draining for both parties. Moreover, it can save time and money compared to a contentious divorce that requires legal representation and potential court appearances.
However, there are many more reasons why healthy and effective communication is crucial during mediation. To help you understand more about the importance of communication during divorce mediation, we’ve consulted an experienced relationship expert and coach, and here’s everything you need to know.
Establishing Trust: The Foundation of Successful Mediation
You’ve probably heard a million times that trust is the foundation of any healthy and successful relationship. This phrase is especially true during divorce mediation. Both parties must be able to trust each other and the mediator to work together to find a fair and reasonable resolution. In divorce mediation, the mediator is crucial in creating a safe and non-judgmental environment for both parties to express themselves openly and honestly.
The mediator must establish trust with both parties by demonstrating a neutral stance and ensuring that each party feels heard and understood. This can be achieved through active listening and empathy and by asking open-ended questions that allow both parties to express their thoughts and feelings. This way, they can build trust with each other and the mediator, which is essential to reaching an agreement.
Active Listening: Understanding Each Other’s Perspectives
If you want to learn to communicate effectively, you first need to learn how to listen actively. During mediation, a mediator will encourage both parties to listen actively to each other without interruption or judgment. This allows each party to understand the other’s perspective and needs better. In return, this helps both spouses truly learn about the role of forgiveness in divorce.
The mediator should facilitate active listening by encouraging both parties to repeat what the other person has said to ensure that they have understood correctly. This technique can also help to diffuse tension and create a more peaceful environment.
Effective Communication: Clear, Concise, and Respectful
Effective communication involves more than just active listening and speaking. It also involves using language that is clear, concise, and respectful. During mediation, both parties should feel free to express themselves in a way that is easy to understand and does not cause offense.
The mediator should ensure that both parties are communicating effectively by asking clarifying questions and summarizing what has been said. This technique can help prevent misunderstandings and ensure everyone is on the same page.
Resolving Conflict: Finding a Mutually Beneficial Solution
Conflict is a natural part of any divorce, and it is essential to address it during mediation. Communication is critical in resolving conflict and finding a mutually beneficial solution. During mediation, the mediator should encourage both parties to express their concerns and work together to find a resolution.
For example, let’s say you’re relocating during this period, and not only you’re dealing with moving during a difficult time, but you are not getting enough support and help from your former spouse. This can quickly turn into a conflict and a reason to argue. However, your mediator can help you find ways to address it more constructively. They’ll give you a chance to explain how moving after a divorce makes you feel; in return, your spouse will get a chance to hear you truly. This way, you’ll both get an opportunity to find a solution that works best for both without getting into a heated and emotionally draining argument.
Collaboration: Working Together to Find a Solution
Divorce mediation is a collaborative process that involves both parties working together to find a solution that works for them. And it goes without saying that communication is essential in facilitating this collaboration. The mediator should facilitate this collaboration by encouraging both parties to express their ideas and work together to get to a solution that they both find acceptable. This will help the couple navigate potential future issues and find solutions calmly and constructively.
Moving Forward: Creating a Plan for the Future
Divorce mediation allows both parties to move forward and start the next chapter of their lives. Communication is critical in ensuring that both parties can do so with a sense of closure and satisfaction. A mediator will also encourage both spouses to share their plans for the future.
The mediator should help both parties create a plan to enable them to achieve these goals and move forward with their lives. On top of that, you’ll learn valuable skills that will help you have a strong and healthy relationship further down the line. You’ll be able to easily help your kids feel comfortable in both homes and make sure they go through this transition as smooth and stress-free as possible.
Conclusion
Divorce is never easy, but effective communication during divorce mediation can make the process less stressful and more productive for both parties. Trust, active listening, effective communication, conflict resolution, collaboration, and planning for the future are all essential aspects of communication during divorce mediation.
When both parties are committed to communicating effectively, they can create a more peaceful and mutually beneficial solution that allows them to move forward with closure and satisfaction. By working together, both parties can avoid litigation’s high costs and emotional stress and instead create a solution that works for everyone involved.
Author Marcy Green is a single mom of two living in Downtown Miami. She is a full-time content writer, and she is also working on getting a real estate license and exploring a new career. In her spare time, she enjoys going to the beach with her two boys. When her ex has the kids, she loves going on weekend trips with her friends or simply relaxing on her couch with a good book.
How to Help Your Kids Feel Comfortable in Two Homes
When parents separate or divorce, it can be difficult for children to adjust to having two homes, one with each parent. Children are notoriously bad at adapting to new environments and regular changes. On the other hand, a kid gets a brand new place to call his or her own, a fresh bedroom to personalize, and a whole new area to discover. You may make the transition to dual residence easier on everyone by taking some measures, whether you’re setting up a new address or keeping the current one throughout the separation or divorce. Here are some ways to help your kids feel comfortable in two homes.
Give them their own space
Many people don’t realize how chaotic divorce may be. It may still be a hassle even when everyone is on the same page. However, once family law professionals have helped you reach a resolution, it is time to prioritize your children’s health and happiness.
First, make sure you and your ex-spouse both provide a room for the children. They can have their own room, a section of the closet, or even just a corner of the living room to store their belongings and do their homework. Having their own space may make a big difference in how youngsters adjust to their new environment.
Establish routines
Children benefit significantly from routines because they provide stability and predictability. Create consistent patterns for them to follow from house to house. Make an effort to coordinate with your ex so that your children have consistent routines in both homes, particularly regarding scheduling activities, such as bedtime, screen time, and curfews. It’s okay for each parent to have their own rules and routines, but it’s preferable if there isn’t a massive difference if you want to help your kids feel comfortable in two homes.
Keep in touch with your kids
Discover a strategy to stay in touch with your children when they are staying with their other parent, without intruding on the time that parent is spending with the children. You may set up a daily phone conversation, video chat, or at least check in every few days. You can support your kids during the divorce in this way. In order to assist your kids in keeping track of when they should be there, a color-coded calendar might be kept in each house.
Keep your cool
Although it may seem simple, this is typically the hardest to do. The only time some parents see each other is during their child’s transition, and they may utilize this time to work out their differences. Keep your youngster out of the center of your disagreements by having these talks behind closed doors. Besides, such matters can be discussed by email or phone call between visits. Make sure there is no unnecessary drama throughout the changeover.
Have open conversations
Open communication about both households is another strategy to help your kids feel comfortable in two homes. It’s sometimes hard to make decisions when you’re divorced, and communication is usually very hard to upkeep. It’s tough to deal with the emotions that come with a divorce, but remember that your children value both of their homes. It’s important to show them that you value their opinion and are willing to give them the attention and validation they need because they are an integral part of your life. Your child should feel no remorse for enjoying the love and support of both families. So, keep things upbeat and civil.
Don’t compete
It might be difficult for the parent who stays at the original house to hear their children talk enthusiastically about the new room at the other parent’s house. However, this is not the time to attempt to outdo the other parent by renovating your children’s former bedroom. In this situation, the last thing a youngster needs is additional change. Their excitement about the new home shouldn’t make them feel bad about themselves, so try not to compete.
Make a packing plan
Traveling back and forth between many residences can be taxing on everyone’s energy levels. Toiletries, pajamas, spare clothes, books, and movies should be kept on hand at both residences to help ease this burden. Assist smaller children with their overnight packing the night before. Make sure you pack some of their favorite toys, too. Here are some simple tips you can use for packing toys that will ensure your smallest ones feel comfortable leaving home. This can be another gentle hint to your kiddo that it’s about time to go visit the other parent.
Have them do chores and don’t spoil them
Having kids pitch in with household chores makes them feel more included in the family. Ensure the youngsters don’t perform more or less work than their siblings do and that the chores are similar at both houses. You can also help them learn to take care of themselves.
Additionally, as a means of making their children feel at home or due to feelings of guilt associated with the breakup, some parents who have gone through a divorce may indulge their children with presents and lax regulations. They won’t feel more loved if they’re spoiled, and it may make them feel as though their love is being bought if they act entitled.
Plan activities
A child’s emotions are tested throughout a divorce, and it takes more than a few days for them to feel normal again. Therefore, while they are living with you, it is essential to organize some enjoyable activities to get their minds off of the situation. In the end, kids will remember the good times they had at your house, not the sad memories of the divorce. To help your kids feel comfortable in two homes, put in the additional effort to spend quality time together doing things like arts and crafts, playing football in the garden, or working on a project.
Final words
It’s natural for children to feel down after a divorce. Everyone needs time to settle into their new habits and acclimate to the changes. There is no doubt that you and your ex-spouse want what is best for your children. So, follow this guide to help your kids feel comfortable in two homes and provide them with a safe and fulfilling upbringing.
Meta: If you’re going through a divorce, you’ll want to read this guide to help your kids feel comfortable in two homes.
Author’s bio: Mary K. is a happily divorced mother of four and a passionate blogger with a green thumb. Between juggling her children, caring for her plants, and writing helpful content for divorcees, Mary enjoys hosting dinner parties for friends.
Helping Kids Care for Themselves: Parental Strategies That Work
Growing up in our modern world is as challenging as ever. Part of our job as co-parents is to give children the skills for handling whatever comes their way. The following guide from Wendi’s Tips explores a few practical tactics for raising self-sufficient individuals that are unafraid of tackling life’s challenges.
Modeling Behavior
We come into our lives without knowing anything, so growth begins through imitation. Infants and toddlers, especially, learn by copying adults. Caregivers that overly rely on digital entertainment for occupying tykes risk granting Hollywood too much influence. Circumvent this by switching off devices and engaging in family time. One substitute is instituting a game night. The presence of healthy competition allows you to demonstrate how to lose gracefully and that failure isn’t a tragedy. As a bonus, many games teach fundamentals, such as numbers and colors.
Should your child flip over the board in a fit of rage, take the opportunity to discuss different coping practices. For instance, punching a pillow is a harmless approach to burning away anger. Writing down frustrations and tearing the paper into tiny pieces can also provide emotional release. Meditation requires more time and knowledge but has longer-lasting effects. When outside forces cause grownup stress, let young ones observe you washing away frustration through Eastern practices.
Another refocusing technique is exercise. Make physical activity a joyful experience by turning it into a performance or family dance party. If your child is more an artist than an athlete, draw, paint, or otherwise get messy while putting feelings on canvas. Storytelling allows youth to divulge serious issues they might not be comfortable addressing directly. Set the stage for expressing inner observations by weaving a tale of your own.
Creating Peace
The first step to a peaceful, healthy home environment is to make sure that the products you purchase, whether kitchen gadgets or toys, are conducive to health and safety. To learn about potential purchases, it’s best to seek out unbiased reviews online. A good review can fill you in on need-to-know information about a product’s quality, which can keep you from making a poor purchase decision.
It’s easiest for everyone to be calm in an environment that facilitates that end. Start by decluttering, which has the benefit of making the air healthier. Tossing junk also creates additional room for activities and supports clear thinking.
Refresh your newly decluttered space with houseplants. Choose flora that’s ideal for boosting moods and reducing stress. Involve juveniles by allowing them to pick a few they find appealing. That and assigning them watering duties should help them bond with nature. Position plants in spots with ample light so they’ll grow. Keep blinds and shades open, as exposure to the sun also positively affects humans and pets. Using an oil diffuser makes homes smell fresh and happy. Be careful that the one you choose cannot harm your pets.
Your peaceful home should also extend to your yard, which should be an enticing place for you and your children to play. To help keep your yard looking its best, search online for an aeration service near you. You can quickly find a list of companies that can perform yard maintenance along with customer reviews and ratings. This can help you make an informed decision about who to hire.
Prioritizing Youth
Besides creating a calm house and showing children how to deal with setbacks, positive growth is dependent on spending quality time around one another. Fulfilling this responsibility as a single parent can be tricky, especially during busy times of the year. The best way of assuring your kids get the attention they need is by creating a plan, which should make reaching your goal less stressful.
Daily routines you might want to incorporate into your household lifestyle include bedtime rituals, such as teeth brushing and book reading. Before suppertime, set the expectation that kids complete simple chores around cooking duties. As a reward for completing these tasks, plan a day trip to an offbeat museum or age-appropriate escape room. These excursions will give your entire tribe something worth anticipating.
Divorce and life as a co-parent can be both challenging and scary, so follow Wendi’s Tips for help navigating this phase of you and your children’s lives.
Author Janice Russell believes the only way to survive parenthood is to find the humor in it. She created Parenting Disasters so that parents would have a go-to resource whenever they needed a laugh, but also to show parents they aren’t alone. She wants every frazzled parent out there to remember that for every kid stuck in a toilet, there’s another one out there somewhere who’s just graced their parents’ walls with some Sharpie artwork!
Co- Parenting: How To Keep Your Kids Safe While On Their Phones
Co-parenting is not an easy path. For couples preparing to go through a divorce, or for already divorced couples working together to create a safe, consistent co-parenting arrangement, there are countless logistics to sort out.
In the digital age that we live in, ensuring that both parents are able to keep in touch with the kids means giving kids access to digital technology. But there is a tricky balance to strike, between allowing your kids freedom to use their phones as they wish, without interfering in their communications with their other parent, and keeping them safe as they navigate social media apps and potential spammers.
In this article we will take a look at some tips for co-parents who want to keep their kids safe while on their phones.
Clear Expectations, Clear Communication
One of the key elements of creating a successful co-parenting dynamic is to establish clear expectations and boundaries. Both parents should be willing to communicate their expectations and preferences when it comes to their kids’ cell phone use. And equally both parents should be open to negotiating and listening to what the other parent has to say.
Alert the other co-parent far in advance of purchasing a phone or phone accessory for your child, so there is ample time to discuss how and when your child will be allowed to use the phone and whether they will bring the phone with them between houses. The last thing you want is for your child to feel they are carrying a “secret device” that one of their parents is not aware of. That would make it clear that both parents are not on the same page.
Consistency is key for maintaining a peaceful home atmosphere for the kids’ sake, so both parents should agree on a clear set of rules before explaining them to the kids. If one parent household allows certain things that are restricted in the other home, power struggles and insecurity can result. Co-parents may want to consider drawing up a contract before they give their children free range to explore the internet and the world of social media.
With the rules clearly set down in writing, children can have a definite understanding of what is allowed and not allowed when it comes to phone use. And so can both parents. Drawing up a contract or tech management plan can clear up any potential misunderstandings and help co-parents work together to maintain healthy boundaries that both parties have agreed upon ahead of time, keeping tech rules consistent across both households. Or, if both households do not agree on the same tech management plan, establishing the written rules can help kids know what rules they are expected to abide by when they visit each home.
What Kinds of Risks Do Kids Face on Their Phones?
There are several types of risk that children can encounter while using a cell phone. Some of these can be filtered out more easily, such as setting parental controls to restrict access to websites with adult content, like pornography, black market trading sites, drug paraphernalia online shops, video sites that feature violent or sexually explicit content, or gambling websites. But there is another layer to keeping your kids safe while using their phones: cybersecurity.
Even people who already take precautions to protect their email inboxes and home internet connection from possible cyberattacks often forget that their phones also present a risk. In fact, 1 in 36 mobile devices already has high risk software installed. Social media apps like Facebook messenger, Snapchat, TikTok, or Instagram can provide a space for unsafe characters to access your children’s personal accounts. This may come in the form of an innocent-seeming message or a message that appears to be coming from someone that your child already knows.
When a bad actor attempts to steal personal information, access login details, or pin the geospatial location of a phone or app user by impersonating someone that seems legitimate, it is called phishing. A hacker that uses phishing techniques can then install malware (malicious software) or spyware on the device in use. Without knowing they have done so, your child may accidentally grant a bad actor access to their personal device or to sensitive information, like your home address or credit card information.
Share Oversight Responsibilities
In order to keep your kids safe from potential hackers, spammers, or other bad actors, it is important to share monitoring responsibilities wherever possible. If you are comfortable with new tech, you can install monitoring software on all devices your child or children may use. This can help ensure that your children are not accidentally accessing pornography, gambling sites, or other forms of adult content that are inappropriate for their age group.
Both parents can agree to install apps like Qustodio, Kidlogger, and Family Shield, among others. Share the research to find the best tech monitoring app to satisfy the safety requirements for both households. Co-parents may want to split the cost of tech monitoring software, to ensure that they are on the same page when it comes to protecting their kids online and on apps.
Then, when you install the monitoring apps, you can set the notifications so that both parents receive alerts if there is some suspicious activity online. Co-parents can also agree to share their kids’ log in details and passwords for every app across devices, so they can regularly check in and monitor activity as needs be.
Both parents should, however, be sure to respect the privacy of the other household. Some tech monitoring apps include real time live tracking information, including the child’s whereabouts. Respectful co-parents should avoid using the tracking software as an opportunity to spy on the other parent household. Establishing healthy boundaries with both children and co-parents is key.
Working Together Across Two Households
Wherever possible, talk to your co-parent to communicate any concerns, apprehensions, or ideas you may have about your child’s phone usage. The more consistent and clear both households are, the more peaceful a transition your child will have as they move across homes. If both co-parents are able to communicate, it it much more likely that your child will maintain consistent tech safety as they use their phone and other tech devices in both households.
Establish clear boundaries, stay firm, and be willing to work together with your co-parent and child to set up strong household rules that can protect your child and allow you to monitor phone usage.
Author of this article is Deb Smythe
Universal Children’s Day: Tips to Help Kids Cope with Divorce
November 20th is Universal Children’s Day, a time dedicated to improving the welfare of all children. When two parents get divorced, children must transition into a new lifestyle as several aspects of their living situation are changed. Not seeing both parents all the time or having to split time spent with both of them may bring on a mix of emotions including feelings of confusion and guilt.
Mr. David Badanes Esq. of Badanes Law Office on Long Island shared his suggestions for co-parenting and helping kids cope with divorce in healthy ways.
Create a Parenting Plan: Keeping in contact with your former spouse will help proactively avoid confusion and conflict regarding custody dates and times outlined in the court order. It is important not to argue about custody or visitation in front of your children. Once a plan is established, familiarize your child with the agreed-upon routine. This will help them find stability in all the changes going on around them. It is important for children to understand that both parents will still be present in their lives.
Keep Conversations Age Appropriate: Divorce impacts children of all ages. When talking to your children about the divorce, tailor the conversation to their understanding. Since kids develop emotionally at different rates, the way you discuss divorce with an elementary-aged school child is different than the way that you would introduce the topic to a college-aged child. No matter the age of your child, ensure them that they are still loved by both of their parents. Maintaining positive relationships with both parents will help with the coping process.
Validate Your Child’s Feelings: Every child responds to divorce differently. A school-aged child may react to the divorce with moodiness and a desire for their parents to get back together. Adolescents may experience depression, aggression, and trouble focusing on their work. Make sure to reassure your child that the feelings they are experiencing are normal. Being a good listener will go a long way in helping your child adjust. You may also want to consider counseling for you, your children or family counseling.
Keep Routines as Consistent as Possible: Children positively benefit from structure and routine. With all the changes that come along with a divorce, try and keep certain elements of their routine that are in your control consistent. It is also important to have a conversation with your child to see what they like or don’t like about their current routines to see if any positive changes can be made. Making certain changes within reason can help with adjusting to a new lifestyle as it allows your child to feel heard. If your children split time between two households, discuss rules and boundaries with your ex-spouse to enforce similar rules in both homes. This will prevent conflicts between child and parent and between former spouses.
The circumstances surrounding every divorce are different and it is up to you to decide what is right for your children. If you are having trouble figuring out your co-parenting situation and would like some advice, there are plenty of resources available to you, including counseling for yourself or your child.
Author of this article, David Badanes, Esq. and the Badanes Law Office, P.C. provides real-world advice to help you through this challenging time. If you are contemplating getting a divorce, and need an attorney to represent you, call David Badanes and the Badanes Law Office today at 631-239-1702, email at david@dbnylaw.com. The Badanes Law Office has offices in Northport, Suffolk County and Uniondale, Nassau County.
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Co-parenting With a Difficult Ex: 5 Tips to Make It Easier
For a divorced parent, dealing with a difficult ex can be exhausting, emotionally draining, and damaging to the kids.
Co-parenting well is difficult enough with two happy parents. When your former partner, however, is non-understanding, the task seems impossible at times.
Here are the top 5 tips to be an effective co-parent
Set boundaries
Make sure you will not engage in negative communication or behavior with your ex. Simply, let your ex know that you will not discuss the matter in front of the children. Instead, ask your ex to send an email, providing it concerns a decision to be made about the children.
Although you cannot change the way your ex communicates with you, you can change the way you interact with your ex. Communicating through email dilutes the emotion. When responding to emails, only address the specific issues concerning the children and ignore other irrelevant comments or accusations. Make sure to stick to the point, without judgment or criticism.
Do not criticize your ex
Keep your personal feelings about your ex aside and refuse to bad mouth your ex to your children. Also, do not engage in negative communication with family or friends, as your children might hear you.
Just like you do with your children, you need to resolve your battles with your ex. Find out which parenting issue is vital to you, where you can compromise, and where you are willing to let go.
Create a future plan
Putting all differences aside, try to sit down with your ex and create a plan that focuses on meeting the requirements of your children. If required, ask a neutral or common party to be present to help you stay focused on the plan and even offer an objective opinion.
As part of your future plan, do discuss your new relationship goals as co-parents. Often, divorced couples fail to do this. Do not go like them, instead find out your relationship boundaries as co-parents to be, or look like.
Go unbiased
If you have issues with the way parenting is going, discuss it with your ex. Make sure to stay honest and give valid reasons to support your point of view. Be open to listening to your ex point of view as well. Maybe, you both hold different views but that does not mean one of you is right and the other is wrong. Co-parenting is not about winning for each other, it’s about focusing on the kids’ best interest.
Do not involve your kids
Never put your children in the position to help sort their parents’ issues. They should not be loaded with issues and circumstances that they cannot control. As a parent, you might have to make sacrifices for your child’s happiness. Regardless of how another parent behaves, you need to take care of your actions, choices, and words. Simply, try to be your child’s role model by behaving appropriately at all times, and keeping your issues aside.
If you are going through the challenges of single parenting and are worried about the impact on children, do follow the above tips to make co-parenting easier.
Author Bio:
Willow Anderson Law is an Edina-based family law firm dedicated to guiding you through life-altering transitions while minimizing damage to your well-being, your children, and your financial future.We know how challenging family law matters like divorce, custody, and spousal/child support can be. That’s why our Minnesota family law firm is dedicated to attentive listening, straight-forward communication, and thoughtful advocacy on your behalf.
Four Mistakes to Avoid When You Fight for Custody
With no doubt, divorce is believed to be one of the most stressful and overwhelming stages of some people’s lives, and rightly so. This is particularly so with those couples who cannot reach an understanding regarding child custody issues and thus cannot get divorce papers online. The stress these divorcees experience is usually linked to their many concerns about their role in their children’s lives, the time their children will spend with another co-parent, etc.
If two people, who have kids in common, cannot pull together to come up with a parenting plan amicably, they cannot use a divorce do it yourself kit. Truth be told, they have nothing to do but to have their case settled in court. If this happens to you, your children’s future will be put into the hands of a judge who will act with your children’s best interests in mind. And before he or she can draft a recommended custodial plan, each parent’s claims and available evidence must be assessed as is right and proper. Unfortunately, it happens that good moms and dads are classified as neglectful simply because they have made some of the following mistakes made by many parents who find themselves in the middle of a child custody battle:
Refusing to find common ground with another parent
No matter how poorly you think of your soon-to-be ex-spouse, you should avoid making the mistake of putting your negative feelings above your kids’ best interests. If you refuse to pull together with your former better half for the sake of your children, a judge may think that you cannot care less about their wellbeing and everything you have on your mind is a monumental desire for revenge. Instead, do your best to reach an understanding with the other parent so that you two can have constructive dialogues. If your emotions run high, think about getting a divorce lawyer who will not only help you with every divorce paper form but also take on all negotiations and give you a piece of advice about when it is better to take the middle path and when it is better to contend.
Inappropriate social media behavior
Almost all people have social media accounts and you may have one, too. As soon as you fill out your first Maine divorce paper form (either with onlinedivorcer.com/online-divorce-maine or with lawyer’s assistance) it is time to start watching your online behavior carefully. Since your profile is completely public, you cannot use it for venting your frustrations and badmouthing your soon-to-be ex-spouse. All you post on the Internet is very likely to come to light in court. If your social media activity makes a judge form a bad opinion of your behavior or your influence on your kids, – photos of you drinking alcohol and doing drugs or posts vituperating against your former partner – you have very few chances to win the battle.
In a nutshell, you shouldn’t share anything provocative on the Internet, especially if you don’t want it to be brought up later on. However, if you have already posted something unpleasant, don’t try to get rid of it. Everything you post is considered the evidence and thus your decision to delete it may have legal consequences. Inform your lawyer about your online behavior so that he or she can take care of everything in time.
Making Wrongful Accusations when Questioned
When you meet a family reporter face-to-face and get questioned, make sure that you keep a distance. This person is not your friend and going into personals when it comes to your soon-to-be ex-spouse is a big mistake. Truth be told, this person is here to judge you, assess your personality, and determine whether or not you can parent your children effectively. So, don’t even try to hammer another parent for cutting the cheese in public, listening to horrible music, watching boring TV shows, etc. You should better watch your mouth.
When you are asked to come up with your concerns regarding your former partner, think about a compliment sandwich. So, start with something good about your partner, proceed with what you would like to change in your former beloved person, and then finish with a phrase that “everybody wants to believe that he or she will change for the better for the sake of your little ones”.
Lying about your addiction issues
Heavy drinking and drug use are pretty much the first issues that may be used against you. Of course, it is better if you don’t have any problems with alcohol and drugs; however, we all are far from perfect, and if you haven’t been clean for a while, at least don’t lie about it. Truth be told, a judge doesn’t care about your well-being so much as about how your abuse may affect your children’s well-being and your parenting skills.
If you have overcome your addiction, don’t neglect to inform everybody about your shady past in your very first statement. Provide the smallest details, such as when was the last time you used drugs or drank, what exactly you consumed, and why and what made you quit. It also makes sense to take a drug test. This is how you can protect yourself from any accusation thrown at you in court.
If you haven’t quit yet, then do your best to explain how much, when and where you drink or take drugs and who looks after your kids when you are high or wasted. Try to get addiction counseling or go to rehab. If you need treatment, likely, your matter will not be finalized until you are done.
Remember that nobody in court is concerned about your past. What matters most is that you are fine today and nothing can prevent you from parenting your kids as is right and proper. So, instead of lying about your problems, take your time to deal with them.
Bio: Author Bio Greg Semmit has years of experience working with different types of legal documents and writing about Family Law for educational purposes. Currently, he is working at OnlineDivorcer company, where he writing blog articles about divorce and divorce cases. In his free time, he likes roaming the streets of New York with his Olympus taking photos of the best spots in the city.
How to support your children though a divorce
The year 2020 has been a pretty brutal one for most people. Some people have been able to find some comfort in the bonds of family and friendship. For others, however, those bonds have been stretched to breaking point. If you’re in the latter group, here is some advice on how to support your children through a divorce.
Have a basic plan in place before you break the news
For a child, there are no positives to a divorce. This means that you need to focus on minimizing negatives. Ideally, you want to be able to show your child that, effectively, nothing is going to change for them. If that is not possible, then explain how you’ll minimize the negative impact of any changes.
It’s best if you and your partner have a complete plan ready before you break the news to your child. At the same time, however, you want to make sure that they hear the news from you, not social media. For practical purposes, therefore, it may be best just to outline your plan and then tell your child. Commit to keeping them in the loop as your plans develop.
Involve your child in discussions/mediation
Wrapping up a marriage almost always involves lengthy discussions, especially where children are involved. For many couples, mediation sessions are a practical and affordable way of keeping these discussions civil and productive. These are probably going to be where you and your partner iron out the practicalities of your split.
Some of those practicalities will have a massive impact on your child. This means that, whenever possible, they should have age-appropriate input into the discussions. They don’t have to know everything. In fact, it’s often better that they don’t. They certainly shouldn’t see their parents openly arguing. They do, however, need a reasonable degree of information and involvement.
Try to maintain a consistent routine
Right now, COVID19 is probably causing more than enough disruption to their lives, especially when it comes to co-parenting through a pandemic. This means that it’s more important than ever to maintain stability as much as you can.
As a minimum, stick to regular mealtimes and nap/bedtimes. Resist any temptation to try to soften the blow by excess use of treats such as sweets and late nights.
If COVID19 means that you and your partner are stuck with each other’s company for longer than you’d like, keep it civil. You’re probably going to have disagreements. Recognize this in advance, own the fact and agree on a process for dealing with them privately. If you’re able to move out physically, have a plan in place to maintain contact, even if it’s only virtually.
Stay consistent with discipline
This is really a sub-point of keeping to a consistent routine. It is, however, important enough to deserve a mention on its own. Children handle divorce differently. In fact, the same child can handle divorce differently on different days. This is particularly true if they’re going through a lot of hormonal changes.
Recognize the difference between understanding their feelings and handing them control. Maintaining consistent rules and boundaries may be challenging in the short term. It will, however, help your child’s long-term recovery and personal growth.
Author Bio
K J Smith Solicitors are specialists in family law, experienced in all matters relating to divorce, civil partnerships, cohabitation disputes and collaborative law.
10 Tips To Prepare Preparing Your Children For Your Divorce
Whenever there is a divorce it impacts a family as a whole. Children are never aware of the situations and hence they are impacted more severely. Parents are involved in their fights while getting a divorce and children get squeezed into these issues. While if a child is not prepared for future outcomes then he may face mental challenges such as depression, aggression, and hatred.
Now how do you make your child prepared? What are the steps to be used to start the process? How to make sure it never happens in the future? So here comes some tested tips to help you out.
Where to start?
No parent would want their child to be in a negative phase of their life and that too because of problems between parents. Hence prior actions can avoid these situations and assure a happy future for your child.
Age matters
There is a difference in the mentality of a toddler and teenager and hence you need to speak to them differently. Well, a parent needs to have a proper consultation with a divorce attorney in Long Beach because they are also going through the same time.
Talking with toddlers
Babies are simple as they don’t understand the events while they need time for care and nutrition. You can not leave them alone. Kindergartners can understand some events with limited thinking. If you can avoid creating situations in front of them then it will do. You can watch their behavior and talk accordingly.
Early teenagers
These are around 6-11-year-olds who have gained enough knowledge to understand the situations. They can recognize and become depressed with thoughts of divorce. They may ask questions or not but you need to empathize with them and tackle with care.
Teens
Children at the age of 12-14-year-olds are more prone to be mentally depressed with divorce or may not get affected at all. But both behaviors are dangerous as they must be explained in situations clearly. While talking to your children and understanding them needs a lot of psychology knowledge.
Priorities
There are times when you reach out to your child but they won’t respond to you. You need to make sure while being in these situations the communication should be more open. You need to tell them that your parents are open to each thought you have. As they can trust you and share their thoughts.
Handling forthcoming prospects
While handling a divorce your child needs to be ready for each struggle he may face in the future. What you can do? Start with build g a good relationship, you may already have it. It is just that you keep working on it while not forgetting your children in between of divorce.
Tell them what you feel rather than beating around the bush. You should not hide real situations as when they come to know it might be a shock. So be careful when you handle a child.
Read
A parent must not think that they know everything. You may not know some key areas for the importance of a child. But if you read good parenting books then it is more likely that you can understand situations much better before it gets worse. Reading will. make you ready to tackle situations differently.
Avoid conflicts
What you can do when conflicts are likely to arise during or after divorce? Your child will be against them at some points, he will ask you hundreds of questions each day. You may come across conflicts while answering these questions. It is imperative to avoid conflicts.
How can you avoid conflicts? You can easily avoid conflicts by preparing a reasonable answer backed by logic before the conflict happens. You may want to know what questions can be there. Step into the shoes of your children and think about what they can ask? Eventually, you will understand.
Consistency
A parent’s job is never completed; they need to be continuously working on and creating it with their child. You may lose the consistent behavior but then again start from scratch and try reconnecting. Ask their schedule to be involved more. Engage them with family bonding activities. Slowly be better at it.
Conclusion
Reach out to family law attorneys in Long Beach in case of any help. Don’t hesitate even for once as these situations may be more clearly explained by the best divorce attorney of Long Beach. I wish you all the luck that prevails!
Family Law and Custody Issues in Divorce Cases Remain Complicated
With the change in time and technology, the approach of people has changed a lot towards numerous things. And why not? After all the new innovations and approaches have been brought to the limelight to ease the life of the people. Yet there are some aspects that have not been changed and are still complicated and ruptured marriages are one of them, not only that parents involved in getting the custody of the child are still the same.
Well, the situation is not only about who gets it but when and how long do parents have to wait. In these situations generally, children have the maximum loss. and if you are dealing with divorce and the child custody in San Bernardino you definitely need to consult family law attorney San Bernardino or child custody lawyers San Bernardino or divorce attorney San Bernardino.
Family law and custody issues in divorce cases remain complicated with the time yet as a parent it is really important to know your rights and what kinds of child custody agreements are available and what are the grants in each of the agreements. Though, understanding the agreements is not that difficult yet can be a bit confusing in order to understand as you are going through so much stress and dealing with both divorce and child custody issues.
Types of custody you need to deal in
Legal Custody– A quite common type of custody is legal custody. This involves both the parents and is shared mutually. it is a merely straightforward type of custody and you have all the rights reserved to take the decision which you find beneficial for your child, not only for any crucial matter but you can be the part of day concerns as well.
Physical Custody– This is another form of custody in which the child has the right to stay with one parent for a period of time and for another specific time with the other parent. Usually, one parent has a longer period for the child to stay due to the logistics of physical custody.
This can also be said to be a shared custody type of arrangement involving both the parents with the child visitation schedule created by the lifestyles of the parents. And with the best interest of the children.
Sole Custody– This form of custody involves situations where one parent or the other gets sole custody of the child that means legal and physical custody both. This type of custody usually tends to take place when one of the parents is not capable of taking care of the child or maybe abusive and can only get custody in extreme situations.
Joint Custody– This type of custody is awarded to both the parents. This means both the parents get to share legal and physical custody. This custody is usually preferred by the court and it seems to be the best for the child. However, the situation could not be the same for all cases it differs from cases to cases.
Conclusion
Well, you are now much aware of the complexity of family law and custody issues and from the old age to the modern time things haven’t changed as required. However, you need proper guidance from the experienced and skilled family law attorney in San Bernardino that helps you to get a better vision of family law and custody cases. it is one of the most essential decisions of life and you need to go through the whole process with expert knowledge. I wish you all the luck that prevails!
A Family Attorney Can Settle Some Child Custody Related Issues in Divorce
Divorce is not an easy task, and especially when children are concerned there are many aspects you need to take care of. With the whole procedure of divorce, you definitely don’t want to overlook your children and there are several other issues you need to discuss. In those situations definitely want to take help from the divorce attorneys Stuart or child custody attorney, Stuart.
A family attorney can settle some child custody related issues in Divorce.
- The topmost priority in this situation is generally the custody of the children. There are manifold options that include opting for joint custody in which you and your spouse both have the opportunity to be with the kids. Keeping the children half of the month with you and making the spouse keep half of the month makes it easy for both parties.
- You can opt for sole custody and let your spouse visit the kids as per their choice.
- Well, you need to know that there is a concept of physical and legal custody. Physical
- custody involves the decision with the kids to live with whereas the legal custody involves all the religious, medical, and educational decisions made for the kids. Here is the role of your family attorney to help you out with the most preferred decision and work on the decisions you made for the best outcome.
- Once the choices are made in terms of custody there are financial aspects as well that need to be taken care of. Well, no matter who gets the custody and what may be the decision the financial responsibility is generally taken care of by both the parties. And whoever gets to keep the kids will be owed money by the other parent. The entire procedure of expense depends upon the situation and creating a favorable situation depends upon your attorney, so it is highly important for you to choose wisely.
- You definitely require an experienced family law professional attorney, who has immense knowledge about child support cases.
- While taking the divorce there are many multiple custody rights you must be aware of. Your family attorney helps you out by guiding with all the custody rights and details.
- There are situations where the father may have a doubt about the kid and think they might not be the father. In such a situation, your family attorney can plead for a paternity
- DNA test on your behalf. Not only that there might be a situation when the father is sure that the children are his yet mother claims they are. In those cases also family attorneys can plead for a paternity / DNA test on your behalf.
Conclusion
There are many such situations that family attorneys deal within a regular basis. However, it’s the regular work of a family attorney to settle some child custody related issues in divorce. All you need to do is hire an experienced and skillful attorney that can make conditions work in your favor. Taking divorce is kind of a life-changing decision and when kids are involved it is really important to make all the important decisions wisely that also includes choosing an experienced family law attorney Stuart. I wish you all the luck that prevails.
Thinking about Divorce? Steps You can still Take during COVID
Whatever the cause, making the choice to divorce from your partner may be one of the hardest you’ll ever make, particularly when it’s a choice to start you awake in the face of a mountain of other concerns and stuff.
No matter when you reach the decision, it is essential to be prepared for the challenges ahead before you split.
In this COVID-19 case, Gold Coast Lawyers will use alarming evidence and also set out some primary factors.
Look for guidance
If you contemplate divorce, the first thing you have to do is receive advice about the procedure, law and the issues you encounter. You will get full information at a time when most issues seem too unregulated. Ask those you know and have faith to give that advice to attorneys in your area who practice in divorce and then make a few consultations.
Even though it is certainly not at this time feasible to hold an in-person appointment, most clinicians are prepared to arrange a telephone or video conference and would even be readier now, since most court cases have been stopped.
To determine how to continue, the timeline and whether to go forward, a comprehensive consultation would provide you with all the relevant details.
Collect relevant documentation
With most operations stopped and citizens at home now, it is appropriate to gather paperwork needed if you intend to divorce. Records are important. Essential financial records include tax statements, sales reports and pension plans, loans, policy information, property assessment papers, etc. It is far too late to learn and find and appreciate this material, whether you have never been involved or taken part in financing. If you really need assistance, call the independent financial planner.
If you divorce you can probably save time and money in the long term by scheduling some of this material. It is also a perfect time to learn and work out your finances. When you actually split, this is a valuable practice. Note that with the sudden closing of some employers, things might have improved financially.
Focus on improving your children
It is important to note that being a parent should triumph above all the spousal and personal disagreements. For the sake of the kids, it is best to shield them from marital strife as isolated as possible. Bear in mind that you will have to keep parenting together given your conflicts, even if your relationship might not long.
Evaluate a strategy
Now is the time to take your choices into consideration and schedule a session. If the relationship is over and nice, you and your husband will be able to resolve the problems and see if there are anything you may compromise on. Settlement persists and at this time agreement through teleconferencing persists feasible.
You may also conclude and observe a detailed mediation deal with your respective attorneys. The majority of courts still stay available to filings such as spousal support concerns if you want to start that process.
Remain calm
It is impossible to be calm in an unhealthy relationship and the increased strain to confront a death and economic catastrophe pandemic definitely makes things that much more complicated.
Harsh comments by email and text might come back to annoy you in a future trial, even though you stay in the same home, and disruptive or abusive acts that often take place at court can result in domestic abuse. Find opportunities to keep quiet and relaxed instead. Think, go out for a fresh air or find other ways to relax and avoid constant conflict.
How this will affect your children
If you have kids together or from a previous relationship, it is important to consider how they would be influenced by that. During this period, it is important that your children feel secure and are shielded from any tension created by the breakup, especially because most children are at home during this time and subjected to any unpleasant encounters with you two.
It is necessary to obtain counsel on any family plans that you plan to decide to and consider the consequences and responsibilities that you commit to.
Bio:
Gary Mallett is counted amongst the finest lawyers in Gold Coast. Serving as an Associate at OMB Solicitors, he proudly holds decades of experience focussing primarily on cases such as financial agreement preparation and advice, parenting disputes, property disputes, divorce, child support issues, and domestic violence cases.