Health with Divorce

Why To Do Nothing May Be The Right Course Of Action

Sometimes the best course of action is to Do Nothing

In divorce we are spinning our wheels and often going nowhere. It is hard to stay focused with so much going on during proceedings. Our brains are on overload and our bodies are exhausted. What is the antidote to this craziness? Step back and Do Nothing. Having a block of time to do whatever you fancy is the way to recharge your batteries.   This resets your mind and body, so you can tackle the tasks, such as negotiating the split of marital assets.

Effects of Stress

Stress increases the risk of cardiovascular events and hormones such as cortisol, are released. This can cause headaches, gastrointestinal issues and for some of us, brain fog. Making decisions can be overwhelming. The Mayo Clinic states “Taking time to rest and relax with no particular goals can help reduce stress and bring a sense of calm and control.” Downtime allows the brain to process information which has been received. The subconscious mind can put together new ideas to solve the complex issues that come with divorce. Having downtime increases creativity. Artists and writers often have unstructured periods to let their minds wander. While seemingly doing nothing, creative concepts are bubbling up to the surface,

Think about when you were a child and had lazy days doing nothing. Most likely you were relaxed and enjoyed life. Bring this feeling into your present situation. I was surprised to see a children’s book in our local bookstore titled “Do Nothing.” A few adults were picking it up and reading it.

People may mistake taking downtime as not being productive. It is the opposite, as one’s body and mind are being recharged, like our electronic devices. Consider leaving gaps in your schedule to chill out or do a favorite activity. Give yourself permission to nap, read a book, a stroll in a leafy park, or whatever is pleasurable. This can be like a mini vacation which is rejuvenating.

A young adult whom I take care of one mooning a week, introduced me to this concept. He has cerebral palsy and can only string several words together at a time. I ask him what he would like to do and often it is basketball.   On a regular basis, this young adult’s reply also is “Do Nothing.” We might sit in his lovely patio and listen to the various bird calls. Or possibly take a walk and look at flower filled gardens. I was amazed at how refreshed I became after following his directive to Do Nothing. As I began to practice this, I started to be less frazzled. I am calm in my new job and less stressed overall. My divorce would have been smoother if I had known the secret that it is okay to Do Nothing at times.

Please read more   https://www.divorcemag.com/blog/taking-a-break-from-your-divorce/

Self-Care While Going Through a Divorce

divorce-separation-marriage-breakup-split-39483The latest figures show that global divorce rates continue to be on the rise. Across Europe and the United States, average divorce rates range between 42%-65%. No matter how amicable the split may be, there are many stressful steps to a divorce. It is not uncommon for the process to cause feelings of anxiety and depression. This is especially true if an individual is not looking out for his or her wellbeing in the steps leading up to the divorce being granted.

If you are going through or will be going through a divorce, self-care is of top-importance. While some may consider the term “self-care” to refer to luxury and pampering, it simply refers to the practice of taking care of one’s self. Explore three must-do self-care strategies for individuals who are going through a divorce.

Ensure that you are getting plenty of sleep

Never underestimate the power of a good night’s rest, especially during stressful times. In addition to feeling drowsy and tired throughout your day, a lack of sleep can have many other consequences. Over the long-term, it can put you at risk for “high blood pressure, heart disease, obesity, and diabetes.” In addition to these serious risks, sleep deprivation can impair your ability to think clearly, dulls the skin, causes mood swings, and can cause you to gain weight. To avoid these health challenges, experts recommend that you get between 7 to 9 hours of sleep each night. If you are not able to realistically achieve this, work toward getting proper rest on as many nights as you can, especially during the most stressful parts of the divorce.

Regularly schedule time to practice a hobby

Since many of your days can be focused on signing papers, court hearings, and various disputes, it is crucial to have a healthy hobby to take your mind off of things. Whether you enjoy reading, crafts, baking, drawing, or journaling, choose one or more hobbies in which you can distract yourself from time to time. Hobbies have been shown to help individuals relieve stress, increase mindfulness, promote overall physical health, deliver new and fun experiences, and boost self-confidence. To ensure that you are taking advantage of these benefits, schedule at least a few hours in each week to practice your favorite hobby/hobbies.

Don’t skip regular exercise

Even when an individual isn’t going through stressful times, exercise is a key component of one’s health. Physical activity of all kinds offers loads of benefits, including a boost to your mood, maintenance of a healthy weight, enhanced energy levels, improved cognitive function, lowered risk of chronic illness, and improved sleep quality. As you can imagine, these benefits are even more valuable while going through the stress of a divorce. At minimum, plan to practice your favorite form of exercise for 30 minutes a day, 5 days a week. Both low-impact activities (e.g. walking, yoga) and high-intensity workouts will deliver much of the same benefits.

For nearly every person who goes through the process, divorce marks a stressful time in one’s life. To reduce the impact of the associated stressors, practicing self-care is an absolute must. By ensuring that you are getting proper sleep, choosing to regularly engage in a favorite hobby, and getting routine exercise, you can fight off the negative effects of any stress you experience.

Author of this article, Lucy Davis,  runs  The Divorce Club  www.divorceclub.com     an online support network for people going through divorce and separation.   There are fun events scheduled (check their web site).  Wendi’s Note: The Divorce Club in London is a great way to meet others who are going through similar experiences. Wisdom and laughter are shared at Lucy’s get-togethers through this MeetUp.com group.

How To Reduce Stress Through Exercise

How To Reduce Stress Through ExerciseDivorce is among one of the most stressful events that we can go through in our lives. It’s second only to the death of a loved one. However, if you ask around, you might hear that even death might be easier to deal with than a family that is torn apart over abuse or betrayal.

Besides divorce, we face stressful life situations day in and day out: maintaining hectic schedules, demands of work and family, the emotional needs of important people in our lives, financial stress, and self image are a few things that quickly come to mind.

One proven way to reduce the physical and emotional stress of a divorce is through regular physical activity. Pair this approach with talk therapy, self-improvement, and medication when appropriate and you have all the tools you need to heal and happily move on with your life.

The Proven Link Between Stress and Activity

Scientists have long since seen that having too little exercise can have a major negative impact on mood and mental health. One of the most common pieces of advice from any medical professional is to make sure you are getting some physical activity in everyday, whatever that activity might be.

As you move through the difficult stages of divorce, from the first filing to navigating a new world of dating and single parent life, keeping physically active is a natural way to help lower the stress levels that are impacting your body.

If you are finding yourself slipping into depression or being overwhelmed with stress, a simple and affordable solution to this problem is to make fitness unavoidably accessible. If the gym is a good social setting for you, grab a membership and get to work. If exercising at home suits you better, home gym equipment is an affordable way to stay on top of a fitness routine. Being realistic with your current state, your time restrictions, and other life factors, decide the best route for your physical activity and get on it!

How Exactly Does Physical Activity Alleviate Stress?

Physical activity produces more endorphins. Endorphins are the feel good chemicals of your brain that naturally elevate your mood. They make you happier, more cheerful and help to replace pain, both physical and emotional.

Physical activity takes your mind to a healthy place. Nothing is worse for stress than sitting and dwelling on a problem, replaying past scenarios or recent arguments, worrying about things out of your control, or whatever it might be. While feelings can’t be ignored, they should definitely take a back seat on a regular basis to make room for positive thoughts and growth. Exercise encourages focused thought and can even act as a form of meditation, removing the stressful thinking from the brain and helping you think about other things.

Physical activity increases self esteem. Stress plays a major part in the way we view ourselves. A “can’t-do” attitude is prevalent as we worry or doubt ourselves. This slippery slope is quick to move past the current issues at hand and bring to light other worries and doubts we’ve had about ourselves whether it be our appearance, our work ethic, our parenting, and more. As you increase your physical activity, you reach goals (confidence boost #1), increase physical and mental strength (confidence boost #2), and enhance your physical appearance (confidence boost #3). With these three motives for self-growth, self-esteem is bound to grow as well.

In the end, exercise is one of the best things for us. Especially when we are being bombarded with stress. Implement a regular schedule of “you” time to get your body moving, your endorphins flowing, your mind lightened, and you’ll work through those stressful issues at hand.

Author of this article, Tyler Jacobson, enjoys going to the mountains near his home in Draper, Utah to connect with his wife and children through camping, hiking, and quality time together. When he isn’t rebooting in the outdoors, he shares his fatherly experiences with the world through writing and creative work. Tyler shares the ups and downs of family life and the solutions he’s found through lengthy research and involvement in the industry and his own experiences to help parents everywhere. Follow Tyler on: Twitter | LinkedIn

Wendi’s note:  Exercise Calculator – A helpful Tool That Can Help You Achieve Your Fitness Goals Faster  https://fitnessvolt.com/30723/calories-burned-by-exercises/