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Global Guide to Divorce

Jack Jack the Cat

Well-being

Why Playfulness Is Important

Playfulness is a way to reduce stress and get through the minutia and tasks required during  stressful times, such as divorce. Besides helping life to be more bearable when juggling proceedings, children and a job, a sense of playfulness lowers anxiety. Being in a calmer state is beneficial for making those crucial decisions regarding splitting assets and so forth.

There are various studies on the benefits of playfulness in getting through adversity (such as divorce) and contributing to longevity. Dr Proyer from the University of Zurich has done much research on adult playfulness and states these individuals cope better with stress and being able to adapt to situations. One study found that playfulness increased one’s well-being and resilience. When I was a nurse on a busy trauma unit, most of us were burned out with patients hovering between life and death. The two playful nurses who wadded up paper to bat around like a ball, were not. In-between patient codes and procedures, these fellows made up games and were the most relaxed nurses on the unit.

Professor Barret at University of Illinois also found that playful folks are better able to handle stress. These individuals perceived their stress levels to be lower, than the less playful subjects in the study. When people are playful, they have better strategies to deal with stress according to her research. Mistakes are more likely to be viewed as learning opportunities rather than as blunders.

Consider the advantages to having a playful outlook during divorce. One is better able to utilize coping strategies during this stressful time and less likely to fall apart. A person can take a pause from proceedings and be engrossed in pleasurable activities. Playing lets out some steam and enables one to see the humorous side of life. Children benefit by being around laughter and spontaneity instead of glum parents.

Playfulness improves cognitive, emotional and social functioning as was reported In the American Journal of Play, Summer 2011 edition. Good mental (cognitive) functioning is necessary when going through finances and deciding whether to sell the marital home or buy out one’s spouse during divorce. Other studies found that playful folks draw people to them. They are open, fun to be around, engaging and positive. Being able to connect with others and have a network of support enables one to move through the craziness of divorce. Being bitter and negative post-divorce can push people away.

An example of the longevity benefits of playfulness are the elderly Chinese in Beijing. These senior citizens were dancing to the music from their boom boxes, doing Tai Chi, playing board games, plus more. They laughed, indulged in badminton and chatted. They clearly enjoyed their time together and were extremely active physically and mentally. There were no wheelchairs or walkers in that group. This contrasts to a divorced woman I knew in the States, who was anything but playful and died of a heart attack.

I was at Disneyland with my sons when I decided to initiate divorce. I called family and friends between rides on Snow White, Mr. Toad’s Wild Adventure and Indiana Jones. I was forced to be playful in this atmosphere and that started my divorce in a much more relaxed way. Figuring out finances was less stressful when standing in line for The Haunted Mansion. My sons were relieved that divorce was about to happen. Disneyland set the tone for keeping playfulness throughout my divorce.

There are ways to be more light-hearted during proceedings. Plan at least one weekly get-together with pals to vent or catch up on news. Having support helps to lighten your burden. Spend time in nature which is calming, even if in a small leafy city square. My sons and I watched comedies and laughed a lot. Go to a fair and act like a kid. Get out of town to spend a day walking along the beach and enjoying the amusements on the boardwalk. My mother took my sons and I on a river cruise during divorce, which was approved by both of our attorneys. That took our minds off the divorce and into the play mode. Think of how to inject some fun into your agenda on a regular basis, and divorce will go a bit smoother.

My article was originally printed in DivorceForce   www.divorceforce.com/

5 Ways To Work Out While Traveling

Traveling and staying in shape might prove quite hectic for many people. Typically, vacations are times for relaxing and giving yourself a treat. As such, it is easier to add calories than to keep fit. However, it is advisable to give your health the priority. Various factors influence your workout options when traveling. Space, abilities, and resources all impact how well you can train. Here is a brief look at some of the best routines you can accomplish while traveling:

  1. High-intensity interval training (HIIT)

Done the right way, HIIT is an effective routine for boosting your heart rate and metabolism. It also regulates insulin levels and aids the breakdown of fats. HIIT sessions aim to push your limit and enhance cardio intensity. Each session lasts 20-45 minutes and does not require any gym equipment. It involves a series of pushups, prone walkouts, pull-ups, sit-ups, burpees and squats separated by brief resting intervals. You can quickly finish a HIIT session in the morning to supercharge your metabolism and fat burning the whole day.

  1. Core exercise and leg workouts

Training your core will build stamina and a good posture, especially since most of your strength and power comes from the core region. It is recommendable to combine core and leg workouts for maximum flexibility and formation. Like HIIT, most core and leg workouts do not require a gym facility. You can perform planks, hanging knee raises, jumping jacks and skater hops at the comfort of your hotel room or even at the beach. This exercise will help you burn down calories and improve your metabolism. You can also integrate core and leg workouts into your HIIT session.

  1. Full Bodyweight exercise

According to research, total bodyweight workouts can target all muscle from your legs and thigh to your abs, chest, arms, and shoulder. They offer a simple way to gain balance and strength using nothing other than your weight. What’s more, bodyweight workouts such as pushups, squats, burpees, and wall sit, and triceps dip and lunges complement each other. They ensure the proportional growth of the body and impact significantly on your overall fitness. You can also do the tuck jumps, limb raises, or donkey kicks during travels or at your hotel room and without incurring any additional cost. When training, it is essential to get proper nutrition and stay hydrated at all times. Fitness enthusiasts also use supplements like Anavar to boost energy and workout endurance. It also helps them to flush out excess water from the body, so they don’t feel bloated while traveling.

  1. Walk, jog, run

As simple as it might look, you should not underestimate the importance of walking.  According to studies, walking and jogging can increase the calories you spend per day. Walking is a low energy cost exercise, so you should go running if you want to burn more calories. You can also combine walking, jogging and running. It is recommendable to take advantage of walking any chance you get. Instead of using lifts, take the stairs. You can also run along the beach, participate in dance and other footwork activities, or even go hiking.

  1. Cycling and swimming

Both cycling and swimming can help you stay in shape during your travel. They are also easy to integrate into your travel workout regimen. You can go swimming at the beach or use the hotel’s swimming pool. For cycling, find bike rentals and ride around to work your leg and thigh muscles. If you get a hotel with a gym, take advantage of the stationary bikes and other equipment to squeeze quick sessions that will leave you feeling pumped.

Conclusion

Working out can help you stay in line with your fitness goals. However, various other factors influence health and fitness. It is highly advisable to establish a supportive lifestyle that is free from drug abuse, stress, and poor nutrition. You should also get enough rest and drink to stay hydrated throughout your workouts. Make sure to perform every move in perfect form to achieve proportional growth. More importantly, train around your needs. If you are on a bulking cycle, eat the right micronutrients for lean muscle development.

Author of this article is Kimberly Clark who is a writer for numerous health and fitness publications. She has been working with many challenged clients for some time now. She can be reached via email at kimberly@linkingaces.biz.

7 Tips To Avoid Insomnia And Get Sound Sleep At Night

Insomnia cases can give you a headache, especially when you are from a tedious job. The condition develops slowly and steadily in individual undertaking activities such as long-distance driving and others.

Specialists are working hard to develop a medication that can curb this kind of disturbing condition. The condition generally affects the regular sleeping routine, and you may find yourself waking up in the middle of the night. This article exposes seven tips to avoid insomnia and get good sleep.

  1. Understand the sleep-wake cycle You need to consult a psychologist about the recommended sleep schedule that a normal brain should have. The circadian rhythm explains how the brain releases sleep regulator, chemicals, and hormones.The internal clock that depends on the biological patterns of the body increases the chances of understanding the circadian rhythm. Brain wave patterns from various radiographic images assist you in knowing your limit of sleep and wake up. Therefore, ensure you are at bed when your time to sleep and wake up at the right time.
    1. Regulation of exposure to light during the day

    The need to regulate how you expose yourself to light is an essential component in acquiring good sleep at night. Morning sunlight is the best because it provides the required minerals for the development of your bones and other tissues.

    The process of sleep depends on the coordination of brain cells and neurons, and this requires you to have maximum exposure to light during the day. The introduction of light therapy boxes assists during different seasons like winter when bright illumination has limits.

    1. Physical fitness
      Involvement in regular physical fitness assists in the relaxation of body tissues and muscle. The relaxation reduces the production of energy, and this makes the body to have fewer functions. The exercise reduces the chances of encountering sleep apnea. However, you may be required to use sleep medication in conjunction with exercise. The medication recommended for sleep apnea is zopiclone. The drug influences the central nervous system to perform required activities along with exercise.However, heavy exercise may be dangerous as it causes contraction of muscle, making you uncomfortable. You should also ensure you exercise at least 3 hours before you go to bed to avoid oversleeping.

      1. Avoid substances

      Drugs alternate the normal functioning of the body system. Classification of substances depends on the health condition it brings. Nicotine and caffeine decrease the chances of releasing melatonin, which is the primary hormone responsible for sleep regulations. Cigarettes also play the role of hindering the production of this hormone.

      Besides, excess food before sleep should not be part of you.

      1. Good stress management strategy

      Stress is a psychological disorder that results in a lack of good sleep. The uprising of stress depends on what you encounter daily and how you handle them. It is wise to seek psychotherapist help if you cannot control stress. The sessions may make you have a relaxed mind that can facilitate an excellent sleeping mood.

      Continuous exercise may assist when you are under pressure and stress. It makes you relax your muscles, and this occurs within the brain, making you feel relieved. The bedtime ritual that assists in relaxing may be necessary.

       

      1. Regular deep breath The fundamental reason for a deep breath is to maintain a steady flow of oxygen in the body during sleep. The increase in oxygen uptake enables the blood to flow efficiently through your body to maintain the relaxation of the muscle.Closing your eyes and facing upwards when taking the breath, maximize blood flow in the brain, and this may make you feel better. Deep breath reduces gasping, snoring, and feeling foggy when you fall asleep.
        1. Suitable sleep environment Note the appropriate sleeping environment that keeps you safe and comfortable. Comfort is mandatory for you to sleep effectively without waking up in the middle of the night.The bedroom should have quality lighting system, air conditioners to regulate temperature and increasing air circulation. The nature of the mattress you are using should be of high quality to avoid issues of physical discomfort.Night sessions should have less light exposure. You should control the number of hours you spend watching television. Experts recommend that you should stay away from TV for about two hours before going to sleep. The period activates the melatonin hormone, which in turn triggers the relaxation of the body, and this causes sleep.

          Your phone should have software that blocks the excess light from reaching you.

          Conclusion

          Sleep is an essential activity for you to remain healthy. Lack of sleep can result in conditions that can cost you a lot when looking for appropriate medication. Insomnia can have the necessary prevention, and it is wise to use the points above. Remember, prevention is better than cure.

          This article, written by Rebecca Siggers  thus provides you with a list of places that you should focus upon traveling in your next holidays. To be able to travel with ease and reach your destination in the least possible time with comfort, always carry a world map along with you (amazon.fr/Carte-Monde-Gratter-Luxe-autocollants/dp/B077CWTKJY. The alluring qualities of the afore-said cities will make you want to travel several times over and over again in the years to come.

7 Exercises To Build Strength And Flexibility

Strength and flexibility are the hallmarks of pure fitness. It is why most athletes and fitness enthusiasts spend more time strength training and working out their muscles for better flexibility. While various exercises can help you achieve both, it is recommendable to incorporate other routines that target strength or flexibility. To achieve desirable results, you can choose the best strength training exercises that boost your flexibility as well. Here is a brief look at seven workout routines you can use to develop strength and enhance your flexibility.

  1. HIIT (high-intensity interval training)

According to studies, HIIT is one of the best workouts for strength and flexibility. A typical HIIT session can involve various maneuvers you have to complete within a given time. Short intervals between the different moves allow you to rest and reposition for the next. With HIIT, you can quickly increase your muscle endurance and power by accomplishing as many reps as possible in perfect form. It also grows more lean muscles, which translates to more glycogen and energy surplus in the body.

HIIT is also useful for improving your flexibility, especially since it involves performing a set of workouts in intervals. You can perform push-ups for 45 seconds, break for 15 seconds, then change to planks, squats, dips, pull-ups, sit-ups, burpees, and so forth. When you combine it with calisthenics, HIIT can push your flexibility to the next level.

  1. Stretches

The most convenient and traditional routine to achieve flexibility is through stretches. According to experts, it is a crucial aspect of training and should always be the first thing you do before you start other intense workout routines. Most people think about stretches concerning preventing gym injuries (pre-workout stretches) or improving recovery (post-workout stretches). However, stretching can help you gain agility and flexibility. It also boosts blood circulation to all the 600 muscle groups delivering essential micronutrients your body needs to grow big lean muscles. With more lean muscles comes the power and improvements in athletic performance.

  1. Weightlifting

People who can lift heavier weights have more power, and this comes from regular training. As you begin lifting weights, you will quickly get comfortable with the first weight and naturally add more. The heavier you can comfortably carry, the more power you build. However, there are various concerns when it comes to lifting weights. If you choose deadlifts, do not forget your double and single-leg deadlifts. Make sure you are building strength in your arms and biceps, as well as legs and thighs. You can also use weighted dips and pull-ups. Vary your routines and work out all your body muscles.

  1. Push-ups and dips

Daily push-ups and dips are a perfect combination for general fitness. In its perfect form, a press-up calls on almost all your body muscles, especially your core. It builds strength and power in your arms, chest, legs, and thighs. Dips also work out your upper body and core. When performing push-ups and dips in perfect form, you will quickly be able to lift and float your body around comfortably. There are various types of push-ups, including feet-elevated push-ups. In the same way, you can use weighted-dips. The variety of moves in these two extensive workouts can help you build both strength and flexibility.

  1. Swimming

Swimming is another efficient workout routine you can use to achieve both flexibility and strength. Swimming makes your muscles to increase in length and also allows you to develop an increased range of motion. Apart from boosting your flexibility, swimming also helps with muscle contraction, thus improving your overall strength.    

  1. Squats

There are a variety of squats you can do to achieve agility and power. Squats strengthen your flexibility by improving the range of motion your hips and ankles can cover. Variations like deep goblet squats can increase flexibility and help you build strength around your hamstring. Make sure you complete all squats in perfect form and switch your techniques for better results.

  1. Cycling and running

Running and cycling drills can help you shed more calories and build lean muscles. They are recommendable workouts that also boost your health, circulation, metabolism, and sleep. Cycling can also develop stronger thigh and leg muscles. However, it is crucial to do more stretches around your cycling and running sessions. Unless you are training for a marathon race, there is no need to run several miles. A daily morning running routine is sufficient to boost your strength and flexibility.

Conclusion

Various workouts can help you build strength and improve your flexibility. It is essential to understand all your moves and make sure you perform each exercise in perfect form. Some activities like stretches are critical before starting any other workout. Although regular workouts are effective, several other factors influence strength and flexibility. Emerging trends among athletes and fitness specialists involve using cannabis products like CBD oil to improve sleep and recovery. If you are in Canada, you can mail order such products from a reputable online dispensary Canada retailer and have it delivered to your preferred location. You also need proper nutrition, adequate rest, and sleep, as well as the right mindset. What’s more, it is recommendable to avoid drug abuse and other lifestyle habits that compromise your workout goals.

This article, written by Rebecca Siggers  thus provides you with a list of places that you should focus upon traveling in your next holidays. To be able to travel with ease and reach your destination in the least possible time with comfort, always carry a world map scratch along with you. The alluring qualities of the afore-said cities will make you want to travel several times over and over again in the years to come.

6 Ways To Optimize Your Plant-Based Diet For An Effective Workout

A small fraction of people become acquainted with vegetarian bodybuilders every day. Plant-based diets and Mediterranean food-forward eating habits also continue to flourish. The benefits of eating more plant-based foods have repeatedly surfaced in various discussions. Studies on Mediterranean diets also show great results. While they do not prohibit rare lean beef, fish, eggs, and dairy, the diet encourages plant-based food to account for 70% or even more. If you already prefer a plant-based diet, there are many ways you can optimize it to get the best results from your workout sessions. Here is a brief look at six methods:

  1. Know your pre-workout and post-workout food options

Regardless of the diet, you need pre-workout and post-workout meals to achieve optimal results from your workout. If you are on a plant-based diet, you need to know what foods will optimize your workout session. Focus on aspects such as strength and endurance, as well as aid recovery and rest. You can take a supplement like Turinabol to boost your workout performance. It helps in increasing muscle protein synthesis, hence giving us better recovery and muscle gains.

In the same way, you need to identify the right mix of ingredients necessary to boost energy, improve nutrient absorption and build more muscles. Plants are rich sources of proteins, but you should know the ones that deliver more proteins, carbs, essential fats, vitamins, minerals, and antioxidants, among other primary classes.

 

  1. Set a workout goal and work around it 

Your workout is only as effective as its result. Therefore, you must have a goal in mind. If you are looking to grow bigger muscles, for instance, optimize reps for muscle gain and take the right nutrition for muscle growth. Integrate more legumes, nuts, leafy green smoothies, brown rice, whole-grain toast and high-carb fruits like bananas in your diet. You can break down your plan into pre-workout and post-workout foods. If your goal is weight-loss, you should focus on food such as fresh fruits, pasta, whole-grain oatmeal, and sweet potato. They provide you with more energy and fiber for better workout performance without causing you to gain calories.

  1. Use organic supplements

If you are choosing a plant-based diet, then it makes sense to get the best plant foods in terms of both quality and quantity. Start by ensuring all ingredients you use for your meals are fresh harvests and free of pesticides. When at the grocery, you can also look for a label that specifies the plant food as organic.

According to research, organic ingredients are much more rewarding to the body. Just like your food choices determine how healthy and fit you can get, the right growing conditions will impact the final food you eat. Organic foods grow in farms with less cadmium and pesticides or chemical fertilizers. Aside from meals, you can use organic supplements for vitamins, minerals, and micronutrients. An effective workout requires a boost in vitamin, antioxidant nutrient intake as you will be working out muscles and tissues. Popular supplements include Vitamin B, D, and Zinc. You can also get organic beverages.

  1. Incorporate a diverse range of plant foods

Plants offer a wide variety of proteins, carbohydrates, healthy fats, sugars, vitamins, minerals, antioxidants, and phytochemicals. They also provide several other micronutrients. Take vitamin E, for instance; you can get it from Crayfish, Rainbow trout, and goose meat and octopus. In the same way, several plant foods like Butternut, squash, broccoli contain vitamin E. To optimize your workout performance; you need to eat from a wide range of sources. This allows you to get more nutrients into your body through meal consumption rather than supplementation.

  1. Establish a supportive lifestyle  Healthy lifestyle habits can push your workout goals a notch further. Reducing the use of cigarettes and alcohol, drinking sufficient water, getting enough quality sleep and rest, avoiding stress and depression, all work together for your benefit. According to Quora, distributing your meals into 5 or six smaller portions rather than three large ones can optimize your metabolism, reduce hunger strike and provide consistent energy supply for your sessions. There are various other minor changes you can make to provide a solid foundation for your plant-based diet and fitness goals.
    1. Watch your calories

    It is very important to calculate your caloric intake and requirement. Once you know what you need, you can compare the best ingredients to integrate into your diet. Depending on your goals, you might need to cut down or bump up your calories. If you are working out to shed some pounds, you can still get essential nutrients from alternative plant foods that contain fewer calories. You can also find a calorie calculator or check the label of your store-purchased products to determine the calorie count. Keeping your calories in check is one of the most effective ways to optimize your workouts.

    Conclusion

    Plant-based diets are ideal for various fitness goals and healthy living. If you want to increase your workout performance, taking plant foods can help with energy supply, staying satisfied much longer and regulating your metabolism. Plants contain all the nutrients you require to survive. However, you need to pick quality ingredients that are both fresh and organic. You should also know what foods contain different essential nutrients, vitamins, and minerals. With this knowledge, you can blend your plant-based foods to provide the most nutritional value. Focus on your workout goals (muscle gain, strength, endurance, weight loss) and develop a favorable diet.


    Author of this article is Kimberly Clark
    who is a writer for numerous health and fitness publications. She has been working with many challenged clients for some time now. She can be reached via email at kimberly@linkingaces.biz.

     

     

     

     

     

How To Reduce Stress Through Exercise

How To Reduce Stress Through ExerciseDivorce is among one of the most stressful events that we can go through in our lives. It’s second only to the death of a loved one. However, if you ask around, you might hear that even death might be easier to deal with than a family that is torn apart over abuse or betrayal.

Besides divorce, we face stressful life situations day in and day out: maintaining hectic schedules, demands of work and family, the emotional needs of important people in our lives, financial stress, and self image are a few things that quickly come to mind.

One proven way to reduce the physical and emotional stress of a divorce is through regular physical activity. Pair this approach with talk therapy, self-improvement, and medication when appropriate and you have all the tools you need to heal and happily move on with your life.

The Proven Link Between Stress and Activity

Scientists have long since seen that having too little exercise can have a major negative impact on mood and mental health. One of the most common pieces of advice from any medical professional is to make sure you are getting some physical activity in everyday, whatever that activity might be.

As you move through the difficult stages of divorce, from the first filing to navigating a new world of dating and single parent life, keeping physically active is a natural way to help lower the stress levels that are impacting your body.

If you are finding yourself slipping into depression or being overwhelmed with stress, a simple and affordable solution to this problem is to make fitness unavoidably accessible. If the gym is a good social setting for you, grab a membership and get to work. If exercising at home suits you better, home gym equipment is an affordable way to stay on top of a fitness routine. Being realistic with your current state, your time restrictions, and other life factors, decide the best route for your physical activity and get on it!

How Exactly Does Physical Activity Alleviate Stress?

Physical activity produces more endorphins. Endorphins are the feel good chemicals of your brain that naturally elevate your mood. They make you happier, more cheerful and help to replace pain, both physical and emotional.

Physical activity takes your mind to a healthy place. Nothing is worse for stress than sitting and dwelling on a problem, replaying past scenarios or recent arguments, worrying about things out of your control, or whatever it might be. While feelings can’t be ignored, they should definitely take a back seat on a regular basis to make room for positive thoughts and growth. Exercise encourages focused thought and can even act as a form of meditation, removing the stressful thinking from the brain and helping you think about other things.

Physical activity increases self esteem. Stress plays a major part in the way we view ourselves. A “can’t-do” attitude is prevalent as we worry or doubt ourselves. This slippery slope is quick to move past the current issues at hand and bring to light other worries and doubts we’ve had about ourselves whether it be our appearance, our work ethic, our parenting, and more. As you increase your physical activity, you reach goals (confidence boost #1), increase physical and mental strength (confidence boost #2), and enhance your physical appearance (confidence boost #3). With these three motives for self-growth, self-esteem is bound to grow as well.

In the end, exercise is one of the best things for us. Especially when we are being bombarded with stress. Implement a regular schedule of “you” time to get your body moving, your endorphins flowing, your mind lightened, and you’ll work through those stressful issues at hand.

Author of this article, Tyler Jacobson, enjoys going to the mountains near his home in Draper, Utah to connect with his wife and children through camping, hiking, and quality time together. When he isn’t rebooting in the outdoors, he shares his fatherly experiences with the world through writing and creative work. Tyler shares the ups and downs of family life and the solutions he’s found through lengthy research and involvement in the industry and his own experiences to help parents everywhere. Follow Tyler on: Twitter | LinkedIn

Wendi’s note:  Exercise Calculator – A helpful Tool That Can Help You Achieve Your Fitness Goals Faster  https://fitnessvolt.com/30723/calories-burned-by-exercises/

Why Playfulness Is Important

Playfulness is a way to reduce stress and get through the minutia and tasks required during  stressful times such as divorce. Besides helping life to be more bearable when juggling proceedings, children and a job, a sense of playfulness lowers anxiety. Being in a calmer state is beneficial for making those crucial decisions regarding splitting assets and so forth.

There are various studies on the benefits of playfulness in getting through adversity (such as divorce) and contributing to longevity. Dr Proyer from the University of Zurich has done much research on adult playfulness and states these individuals cope better with stress and being able to adapt to situations. One study found that playfulness increased one’s well-being and resilience. When I was a nurse on a busy trauma unit, most of us were burned out with patients hovering between life and death. The two playful nurses who wadded up paper to bat around like a ball, were not. In-between patient codes and procedures, these fellows made up games and were the most relaxed nurses on the unit.

Professor Barret at University of Illinois also found that playful folks are better able to handle stress. These individuals perceived their stress levels to be lower, than the less playful subjects in the study. When people are playful, they have better strategies to deal with stress according to her research. Mistakes are more likely to be viewed as learning opportunities rather than as blunders.

Consider the advantages to having a playful outlook during divorce. One is better able to utilize coping strategies during this stressful time and less likely to fall apart. A person can take a pause from proceedings and be engrossed in pleasurable activities. Playing lets out some steam and enables one to see the humorous side of life. Children benefit by being around laughter and spontaneity instead of glum parents.

Playfulness improves cognitive, emotional and social functioning as was reported In the American Journal of Play, Summer 2011 edition. Good mental (cognitive) functioning is necessary when going through finances and deciding whether to sell the marital home or buy out one’s spouse during divorce. Other studies found that playful folks draw people to them. They are open, fun to be around, engaging and positive. Being able to connect with others and have a network of support enables one to move through the craziness of divorce. Being bitter and negative post-divorce can push people away.

An example of the longevity benefits of playfulness are the elderly Chinese in Beijing. These senior citizens were dancing to the music from their boom boxes, doing Tai Chi, playing board games, plus more. They laughed, indulged in badminton and chatted. They clearly enjoyed their time together and were extremely active physically and mentally. There were no wheelchairs or walkers in that group. This contrasts to a divorced woman I knew in the States, who was anything but playful and died of a heart attack.

I was at Disneyland with my sons when I decided to initiate divorce. I called family and friends between rides on Snow White, Mr. Toad’s Wild Adventure and Indiana Jones. I was forced to be playful in this atmosphere and that started my divorce in a much more relaxed way. Figuring out finances was less stressful when standing in line for The Haunted Mansion. My sons were relieved that divorce was about to happen. Disneyland set the tone for keeping playfulness throughout my divorce.

There are ways to be more light-hearted during proceedings. Plan at least one weekly get-together with pals to vent or catch up on news. Having support helps to lighten your burden. Spend time in nature which is calming, even if in a small leafy city square. My sons and I watched comedies and laughed a lot. Go to a fair and act like a kid. Get out of town to spend a day walking along the beach and enjoying the amusements on the boardwalk. My mother took my sons and I on a river cruise during divorce, which was approved by both of our attorneys. That took our minds off the divorce and into the play mode. Think of how to inject some fun into your agenda on a regular basis, and divorce will go a bit smoother.

My article was originally printed in DivorceForce   https://www.divorceforce.com/   Affected by Divorce? Join DivorceForce, the online community committed to empowering those affected by divorce. Many helpful articles for those facing divorce.   @divorceforce (Twitter)

Surviving Stress: The Women’s Guide to Getting Through the Day-to-Day

Every woman knows the feeling: After countless days of work, eat, sleep, and little else, energy drops to an all-time low and sanity starts to waver. You question why you’re working so hard at all, and if any of it even matters. It’s all too easy to let the stresses of daily life get you down, but giving up isn’t the answer. What you need is to regain balance in your life so you can bring your best to each and every day. Here’s how.

Manage Stress at Work

Even if you love your job, spending 40-plus hours a week at work can wear on you. Whether it’s an overly-demanding boss, inefficient coworkers, or just the mundanity of the same thing day in and day out, a full-time job is bound to get to you. When it does, you’ll need strategies to cope.

When it comes to stress management, the best offense is a good defense, so make sure you’re practicing good sleep and diet habits and working exercise into your schedule. A healthy lifestyle is one of the best defenses against stress and its cousins, depression and anxiety.

To ensure enough time to take care of your personal needs, set professional boundaries with an eye on work-life balance. Don’t make a habit of working overtime. If your boss gives you a project with an unrealistic deadline, negotiate the timeline rather than scrambling to get it done. Colleagues constantly interrupting your lunch break with work requests? Start leaving the building during lunch so you can use that hour to relax.

When you walk out of the office at the end of the day, turn work off. No matter how strong the temptation, don’t check your email or squeeze in “just one more hour” of work. Avoid venting about work as much as possible, and when you just have to, stick to a hard limit of 20 minutes. The last thing you want is for your workplace stresses to seep into your home life.

Practice Self-Care

Women today are expected to do it all — have a successful career, a loving relationship, happy children, and a Pinterest-worthy home — but living up to those unrealistic standards can leave little time for actually being happy. Try to focus less on outward appearances and more on taking care of your own needs.

What does that look like? For starters, make sure you’re getting plenty of sleep each night and eating healthy meals. Eating well both preserves your health long-term and keeps you happier and more energetic now. In fact, good nutrition has been linked to better health outcomes in everything from cardiovascular health to mental health.

But self-care is about more than meeting your basic needs. It’s about building a rich personal life that brings you joy and fulfillment. That means making time for hobbies, cultivating new interests, spending time with the people you care about, and practicing gratitude every day.

Bond with Your Pet

Pets take care of us in more ways than we give them credit for. In fact, the simple act of being in the presence of a furry friend has emotional benefits. Spending quality time with your pet can be an instant mood-booster and can help stabilize your stress over the long-term.

If you don’t currently share your home with a critter, consider adopting one from your local shelter. Saving the life of an animal in need will instantly lift your spirits every time you see your new family member. If adopting isn’t an option, you can enjoy the emotional perks of spending time with animals by offering to help with friends’ pets, such as by dog boarding in your home or even dog walking.

Nurture Your Relationships

When everything is going wrong at work and life is a mess, it’s friends and loved ones that can lift you up and get you back on your feet. That’s why no matter how busy life gets, it’s critical to always nurture your personal relationships.

Social relationships are so important that they actually help us stay happier and live longer. To make sure you sustain this pillar of wellness, carve out time every week to connect with your friends, family, and romantic partners. Whether it’s a Saturday barbecue or a quick phone call, making time for relationships helps them grow stronger.

Of course, personal relationships aren’t without their own stresses. Whether it’s a boyfriend or a best friend, work through your relationship issues respectfully and lovingly. Arguments come and go, but when you treat them right, good people stay by your side for a lifetime.

Life can be overwhelming at times, but when you take care of yourself and prioritize your needs, you can get through whatever the day throws at you. Try implementing these tips in your daily life as part of your journey to a less stressful, more centered life.

Author is Paige Johnson      Paige is a self-described fitness “nerd.” She possesses a love for strength training. In addition to weight-lifting, she is a yoga enthusiast and avid cyclist.  website learnfit.org/

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Keeping Healthy in Body, Mind, and Spirit, After Divorce

photo-1498568715259-5c1dc96aa8e7 - CopyAnyone who has been through a divorce will easily understand why the process ranks second in the iconic Holmes and Rahe stress scale. Such a big change in one’s personal life has a significant impact on your financial situation, home stability, and, sometimes, social status. Living a happy, healthy life post-divorce can be challenging, but it can definitely be achieved by keeping your body and mind in optimal shape. In this post, we discuss the importance of approaching health in an integrated manner, during the post-divorce weeks and months.

What Happens to Your Body when You are Stressed?

Stress is more than a state of worry or anxiety; when present chronically, it can cause elevated blood pressure, digestive problems, and headaches, and it is linked to obesity, heart disease, and diabetes. There are no big secrets when it comes to being physically fit. Daily exercise (aim for 30 to 40 minutes) and a sound, Mediterranean diet (comprising lean proteins, seasonal fruits and veggies, nuts, and healthy fats such as olive and flaxseed oil) are key.

Foods for Life and Adaptogens

Stressful times call for extra measures, and this means placing a bigger emphasis on life-enhancing superfoods such as apples (linked to a reduce risk of cardiovascular disease and diabetes), apricots (which are a known immunity booster) and blueberries (rich in anthocyanin, a flavonoid thought to reduce the risk of cancer, heart disease, and diabetes). These are just a few of a vast list of superfoods, so feel free to experiment with new ones depending on the results you wish to achieve.

Back these up if you are feeling low with amazing adaptogens. As noted by beauty guru, Leslie Kenton, these are herbs and roots that “improve your ability to adapt to all forms of stress, while at the same time helping to normalize its biochemical effects.”

Some of the best known adaptogens include Siberian ginseng (thought to promote better sleep, increased stamina, and clearer thinking), suma (a wild root said to raise energy levels and increase endurance), and echinacea (an excellent detoxifying supplement).

Making Room for Mindfulness

Mindfulness based activities such as yoga and meditation are currently used across the globe in top centers catering to a numerous conditions, including eating disorders, depression, anxiety, and substance abuse.

Yoga is also recommended to deal with stress caused by diseases such as breast cancer, prostate cancer, and heart disease, with researchers strongly recommending this millenary practise as a complementary therapy following their successful findings.

Study after study has shown that yoga, meditation and even Tai Chi significantly lower levels of stress hormone, cortisol, and boost energy levels and mood. Scientists belief their success has to do with their emphasis on mind-body control and on pranayamic breathing (which is a powerful way to stop a panic attack in its tracks, as well as keep the mind ‘in the here and now’, instead of focused on the past or in a state of worry about the future).

When going through a divorce, it is vital to approach health and fitness from a multi-faceted perspective that encompasses both traditional healthy nutrition and exercise, as well as activities that work on a mental and spiritual plane. By committing to yourself and exercising self-compassion, health and wellbeing can be two core values that shape your life for the better.

 Author of this article, Lucy Wyndham, is a freelance writer and former Financial Advisor. After a decade in industry, she took a step backward to spend more time with her family and to follow her love of writing.  

How to Ward off Loneliness When Single Again

One can feel lonely when going through a break up or the divorce process. You have lost your live-in companion and may be by yourself for the first time in your life. Some go from their parents’ house – to university – to the marital home. Perhaps you feel overwhelmed doing all the tasks that used to be split up between the both of you. There is less time to be with friends. The divorce process itself is time consuming and can leave one feeling drained.

It is essential to stay in touch with friends when ending a long-term relationship to ward off feelings of loneliness. A quick cup of coffee with a pal is an energy booster and provides an opportunity to vent. Holding onto a grudge or hostile feelings can impact one’s well-being. Just as you schedule events into your agenda – do so for pleasurable activities. One can be among others, yet not have to interact if that is an issue. Go to a film or play so you are around people. Many tote their lap tops to coffee shops and do their own thing while not being isolated.

Ways to Ward off  Loneliness   

  • A great way to feel connected to people is through volunteering. Not only is one helping others who appreciate it (humans or animals) but it can boost self-worth which may have taken a hit during a turbulent marriage. You also meet and connect with other volunteers. I enjoy the camaraderie of being with other church members when serving refreshments after Mass.
  • Consider joining groups for fun, fitness or mental stimulation. MeetUp.com is global with many special interest groups, including divorce ones. Join a book or running club to enjoy an activity with like-minded people.
  • Go to festivals – one is in the midst of others and can have some nice conversations. One can enjoy great food at large communal tables. The ethnic ones have a lively atmosphere and singles are welcome.
  • Churches have community events. A nearby Orthodox one has homemade international lunches several times a year. I like going to an Anglican one for the Macmillan Coffee mornings and have met some wonderful people. Catholic ones have fish and chips dinners during Lent. My divorced friend met her next husband at a singles group at her church.
  • Some divorcing people adopted pets for company. Nurturing someone else took the focus off their problems. Get the right one. One co-worker adopted a darling pig during her divorce which she sometimes brought to work. She was told that Ms. Piggy was a small breed. Well she was not, and grew very portly in size. Ms. Piggy is now living on a farm and my co-worker has visiting rights.
  • If you do not have children – borrow someone else’s for the day. Their laughter is contagious. Nephews, nieces or little neighbours would love an outing to the zoo, park or carnival. Being around these youngsters can help you forget about your divorce for a few hours.

Feeling Isolated

There is a difference between feeling isolated vs lonely. Merriam Webster dictionary defines isolation as being “set apart” and this may mean geographically. While married, we lived in a house with a lovely view a bit out of town in the foothills. In the midst of divorce, I felt very isolated from other people. There was no public transport and going places necessitated a car ride. I bought a small house in town during divorce and that feeling of isolation evaporated. Others have married someone and moved to a new location and feel isolated when getting a divorce. If feasible, see if relocating would be beneficial to feel more connected to people, such as family. Determining the reason why one feels cut off is the way to fix isolation.

Reach out to others when feeling lonely. Loneliness is defined as “being without company.” Talk to neighbours, the barista at your coffee shop or other encounters. I have had some of my best conversations with individuals who were sharing my park bench. Start a new hobby or take a class to beat the Loneliness Blues.

My article was originally published on the web site of Paradigm Family Law  

 

Becoming More Confidant After Divorce

Getting a divorce can affect one’s self confidence. One may have to get a job, move to a different locale or meet new people. A lot is thrown at you at once. Divorce does not define who you are, but is a word indicating your marital status. Being divorced is just a part of one’s multi-faceted being. There are ways to boost one’s confidence which leads to a more fulfilling life.

SELF-INVENTORY

The first step for gaining more confidence is to do a self-inventory. In what areas do you feel overwhelmed and could use improving? Think about where you excel, such as on the job, with some relationships, or in your hobbies. Your talents and abilities, may have brought accolades, such as when winning local tournaments for a sport. A person may have a magnificent voice which is central to their choir. One may be surprised at how many areas of confidence outweigh what scares them. People sometimes focus on the negatives instead of the positives and feel that they lack confidence in general, rather than in a few specific aspects of their lives.

LEARN SOMETHING NEW

Learning new skills, material and strategies is the way to fix the areas that are weak and lacking in confidence. Building confidence is like building up a muscle when lifting weights – it benefits the whole person and not just one part. Take a computer class if feeling wobbly about IT on the job. Some scientific   guys have confided they feel awkward trying to make small talk. Small talk is a way to connect with others and is important socially as well as at work. Joining groups with a purpose, such as hiking, photography, chess, books and so forth make discussing the subject at hand easy, which then leads to other conversations. The trick is to get help for what is draining one’s confidence.

Rewards do work. I had a phobia for public speaking and as an author, I knew interviews and doing workshops were inevitable. I joined Toastmasters International to help get over this fear and increase my confidence. However, I paired Toastmasters meetings with getting together afterwards at a coffee shop with friends. Eventually my brain linked going to Toastmasters with treats. I no longer feel the need for lattes afterwards and found I really enjoy speaking in front of others and doing radio interviews. Pick a treat to motivate you to go to a class or do something out of your comfort zone.  Please read more  www.divorcemag.com/blog/5-ways-to-build-confidence-after-divorce

Finding Meaning in Life Post-Divorce

Divorce shakes one’s foundation, so doing some rebuilding of one’s life afterwards is a must. What seemed important when married such as extended shopping sprees, may be viewed as trivial now. Let divorce be the catalyst to shift priorities in order to have a more rewarding life. One can feel like they are drifting along and every day is the same. How to get your groove back after divorce? The secret is to discover what is meaningful to you and gives you a sense of purpose in this world.

Leo Tolstoy said “The sole meaning of life is to serve humanity.” Volunteering is a great way to connect with others, while getting so much more back. Volunteering counteracts misconceptions of feeling worthless, powerless or weak which can be by products of a toxic marriage. Seeing tangible results of how you make a difference in the world is what gives meaning to your existence. I volunteer weekly for a cat rescue organization and the kitties’ purrs and affection just make my day. Other divorced friends help out at soup kitchens, delivering meals to homebound elderly, or use professional skills such as accounting. This is what ignites the spark in our lives. Think about what your interests are and find a position in one of those areas. In the public schools – we have executives who tutor youngsters over their lunch hours. The staff tells them that this is their most important job and these high powered individuals readily agree. The Dalai Lama stated “Our prime purpose in this life is to help others.”

Reaching out and strengthening connections increases life satisfaction. There are all kinds of studies which show that having bonds to people increases longevity and contributes to better health. Rekindle old friendships which may have slipped away when married. Spend more time with family and be an involved aunt. Childhood is fleeting and your children grow up quickly. Give them undivided attention with your devices switched off and really listen. Plan fun outings and special pizza nights at home. I expanded my social network and feel more content. I am closer to my college pals post-divorce and this creates more pleasure in my life.

Discover what kick starts your passion and go for it. For us it is going on global journeys. We live frugally and diligently save cash to reach our goal, which is a good life lesson in itself. My sons and I become closer without the distractions of being at home. It is possible to travel to far flung places on a limited budget. For others it is dusting off an instrument, painting, hiking, treks in exotic places and so forth. Engaging in your passions is what quality of life is all about. This includes following your dreams.

Experiences give richness to our lives much more than another handbag or the latest gadget. It is the memories of visiting your grandparents’ farm or summer trips to an amusement park that are meaningful, not some item which was broken eons ago. Instead of buying things for the quick fix of feeling better, consider which experiences will give long lasting joy.   Please read more   divorcedmoms.com/articles/suddenly-single-and-seeking-purpose