How to Cope with Guilt and Shame After Divorce
Divorce is a challenging and emotionally draining experience, often leaving individuals with lingering feelings of guilt and shame. Coping with these emotions is crucial for moving forward and rebuilding a fulfilling life. This article will explore eight tips to help you cope with guilt and shame after divorce. By implementing these strategies, you can find healing, self-compassion, and a renewed sense of hope.
Allow Yourself to Grieve
After a divorce, it is essential to permit yourself to grieve the loss of the relationship. It is a natural process, and suppressing emotions can hinder healing. Take the time to process your feelings, allowing yourself to experience the pain, sadness, and anger that may arise. By acknowledging and accepting your emotions, you can begin to cope with guilt and shame after divorce.
Seek Support
Seeking support from friends, family, or a therapist is vital in navigating the complex emotions associated with divorce. So taking care of your mental health is important during this time. Surrounding yourself with understanding and non-judgmental individuals can provide a safe space to express your feelings. Sharing your experiences and concerns with others who can empathize can help alleviate guilt and shame while providing valuable insights and perspectives.
Challenge Negative Self-Talk
Guilt and shame often stem from negative self-perception and self-blame. Recognize that divorce is a multifaceted process involving both individuals. Avoid blaming yourself solely for the outcome. Challenge negative self-talk by reframing your thoughts. Replace self-critical statements with self-compassionate and empowering ones. And remind yourself that mistakes are part of life, and this experience offers personal growth opportunities.
Practice Self-Compassion
During this challenging time, treating yourself with kindness and compassion is crucial. Engage in self-care activities that nurture your well-being. Exercise regularly, practice meditation or mindfulness, journal your thoughts and emotions, or pursue hobbies and interests that bring you joy. By prioritizing self-care, you can strengthen your resilience and create a positive foundation for healing.
Learn from the Experience
Reflecting on the lessons learned from your marriage and divorce can be a transformative process. Therefore, take time to identify emerging insights and growth opportunities. Recognize the strengths and qualities you possess, as well as areas for personal development. Embrace the opportunity for self-discovery and use this experience as a stepping stone toward a happier and more fulfilling future.
Set Healthy Boundaries
Establishing clear boundaries with your ex-spouse and others is essential for protecting your emotional well-being. Clearly communicate your needs and expectations regarding communication, co-parenting responsibilities, and interactions. Seek professional assistance, such as mediation or counseling, to facilitate healthy communication and enforce these boundaries. Maintaining these boundaries allows you to focus on your healing while minimizing potential triggers for guilt and shame.
Focus on the Future
Redirecting your energy toward building a fulfilling and happy life for yourself is key to overcoming guilt and shame. Set realistic goals that align with your aspirations and values. Explore new interests, hobbies, and activities that bring you joy and a sense of purpose. The pros from My Brooks Moving New Hampshire often advise moving to a new location if possible. Create a vision for your future, focusing on personal growth and self-fulfillment. By embracing new opportunities, you can shift your perspective from dwelling on the past to embracing the possibilities.
Forgive Yourself and Others
Forgiveness is a powerful tool for healing and freeing yourself from negativity. Forgive yourself for any perceived mistakes or shortcomings, acknowledge that you are human, and learn from the experience. Similarly, extend forgiveness to your ex-spouse, understanding that forgiveness does not imply condoning or forgetting the past but rather releasing the emotional burden and allowing yourself to move forward.
While maintaining healthy boundaries, work on letting go of the negativity associated with the divorce. This may involve reframing your perspective and focusing on the lessons learned rather than dwelling on past mistakes. Understand that forgiveness does not mean erasing the past but rather freeing yourself from the weight of resentment and anger.
Embrace Self-Reflection and Personal Growth
Amidst the turmoil of a divorce, embracing self-reflection and prioritizing personal growth is essential. Use this challenging experience as an opportunity for self-discovery and transformation. Reflect on your thoughts, emotions, and behaviors throughout the marriage and divorce process. Identify patterns, areas for improvement, and opportunities for personal growth.
Engage in introspection and self-examination to better understand yourself, your needs, and your desires. Explore your values, passions, and dreams that may have been overshadowed during your marriage. Furthermore, seek therapy or counseling to facilitate this self-exploration and gain professional guidance in navigating this transformative journey.
As you discover more about yourself, set goals and take actionable steps towards personal growth. This may involve acquiring new skills, pursuing educational opportunities, or engaging in activities that align with your passions and interests. Embrace opportunities to challenge yourself and step outside of your comfort zone. As you grow and evolve, you will gain a stronger sense of self-confidence and empowerment, reducing feelings of guilt and shame.
Remember, personal growth is a lifelong process, and it’s important to approach it with patience and self-compassion. Celebrate even the small victories and milestones along the way. Embracing self-reflection and personal growth will help you heal from the pain of divorce and pave the way for a brighter and more fulfilling future.
In Conclusion
So to cope with guilt and shame after divorce, you must accept it as a gradual and personal process. By implementing these eight tips, you can navigate the emotional aftermath of divorce and embark on a journey of healing and self-discovery. Allow yourself to grieve, seek support from understanding individuals, challenge negative self-talk, practice self-compassion, learn from the experience, set healthy boundaries, focus on the future, and embrace forgiveness. Remember, healing takes time, and being patient and kind to yourself throughout this process is essential. As you embark on this journey, remember that seeking professional help from therapists or counselors specialized in divorce and relationship issues can provide invaluable guidance and support. By taking proactive steps towards healing, you can regain your sense of self-worth, rebuild your life, and cultivate a brighter and more fulfilling future.
Author Bio: Mary J. is a divorced mom of three, a blogger, and a passionate potter. In her free time, you can find her elbows-deep in clay in her workshop or in the living room, reading the newest mystery novels.
10 Simple and Effective Ways to Boost Your B Vitamin Levels Naturally
Vitamin B12 and folate – [https://www.pathofast.com/pune/tests/cost-range-about/vitamin-b12-folic-acid] are essential for maintaining good health, and they play a crucial role in the proper functioning of the body’s metabolism. They are necessary for converting food into energy and for maintaining healthy skin, hair, and eyes. Unfortunately, many people do not get enough B vitamins in their diets, which can lead to a range of health problems. In this article, we will discuss ten ways to boost your B vitamin levels naturally.
B vitamins are a group of water-soluble vitamins that play important roles in the body’s metabolism and overall health. They include thiamin (B1), riboflavin (B2), niacin (B3), pantothenic acid (B5), pyridoxine (B6), biotin (B7), folate (B9), and cobalamin (B12).
Each B vitamin has a unique function, but they all work together to help the body convert food into energy, maintain healthy skin, hair, and eyes, and support the immune and nervous systems.
Thiamin (B1) helps convert carbohydrates into energy and supports the nervous system. Riboflavin (B2) is involved in energy production and helps maintain healthy skin, eyes, and nervous system. Niacin (B3) is essential for energy production and supports healthy digestion, skin, and nerves. Pantothenic acid (B5) is involved in energy production and helps make red blood cells. Pyridoxine (B6) helps make neurotransmitters, which are important for brain function, and helps the body make hormones and hemoglobin. Biotin (B7) is involved in the metabolism of carbohydrates, proteins, and fats and supports healthy skin, hair, and nails. Folate (B9) is important for cell growth and development, especially during pregnancy, and helps make red blood cells. Cobalamin (B12) is involved in energy production and the production of DNA and red blood cells, and supports the nervous system.
Overall, B vitamins play a vital role in maintaining good health, and getting enough of these essential nutrients is important for optimal functioning of the body.
Eat a Balanced Diet:
The best way to ensure you are getting enough B vitamins is to eat a balanced diet that includes a variety of foods. Good food sources of B vitamins include meat, fish, poultry, eggs, dairy products, leafy greens, whole grains, nuts, and seeds.
Consume More Whole Grains:
Whole grains are an excellent source of B vitamins, including thiamin, riboflavin, niacin, and folate. Examples of whole grains include oats, quinoa, brown rice, and whole wheat bread.
Include More Leafy Greens:
Leafy greens are rich in folate, which is essential for the production of red blood cells. Examples of leafy greens include spinach, kale, collard greens, and broccoli.
Eat More Beans and Legumes:
Beans and legumes are a good source of B vitamins, including thiamin, riboflavin, niacin, and folate. Examples include lentils, chickpeas, and black beans.
Add More Dairy Products to Your Diet:
Dairy products are a good source of B vitamins, including riboflavin, vitamin B12, and pantothenic acid. Examples include milk, cheese, and yogurt.
Incorporate More Meat into Your Diet:
Meat is an excellent source of B vitamins, including thiamin, niacin, and vitamin B12. Examples include beef, pork, and chicken.
Consume More Nuts and Seeds:
Nuts and seeds are a good source of B vitamins, including thiamin, niacin, and folate. Examples include almonds, sunflower seeds, and peanuts.
Add Nutritional Yeast to Your Diet:
Nutritional yeast is a good source of B vitamins, including thiamin, riboflavin, niacin, and folate. It can be added to a variety of foods, such as popcorn, soups, and sauces.
Increase Your Intake of Eggs:
Eggs are a good source of B vitamins, including riboflavin, vitamin B12, and choline. They can be eaten scrambled, boiled, or in an omelet.
Take a B Vitamin Supplement:
If you are not getting enough B vitamins from your diet, you may want to consider taking a B vitamin supplement. Be sure to talk to your healthcare provider before starting any supplements.
Author Dr.Bhargav Raut is Director of Pathofast Diagnostic Laboratory
Dr. Bhargav Raut is a qualified board certified physician and oversees the laboratory diagnostics division of Pathofast. He is focused on nutrition health and wellness. www.pathofast.com
Strategies for Coping with Loneliness After Divorce
Going through a divorce is undoubtedly one of the most challenging experiences a person can face, and it comes with a mix of feelings that can be overwhelming at times. Coping with loneliness after divorce is probably the most difficult one of all. Although it may seem like an insurmountable task, with the right strategies and a positive outlook, it is possible to rebuild a fulfilling life. To help you do this, we’ve consulted an experienced dating coach and gathered five effective strategies for dealing with the emotional aftermath of a divorce. Now let us help you move forward to a happier future.
Embracing the New Normal and Coping with Loneliness After Divorce
It’s important to acknowledge that feeling nostalgic and lonely after a divorce is completely normal. This sense of loss is a natural part of the healing process; accepting it is the first step toward moving on. Remember that you’re not alone in this journey and that countless others have successfully navigated the same path. Giving yourself the space and time you need to adjust to your new life circumstances is crucial.
However, coping with loneliness is sometimes easier said than done, so to help you, we’ve gathered five practical strategies for overcoming these feelings. Combined with your determination and strength, they’ll help you leave your divorce feeling more fulfilled than ever.
#1 Establish a Support System
Creating a strong network of friends and family is crucial when coping with loneliness after divorce. Surrounding yourself with positive, supportive people can significantly improve your emotional well-being.
Connect with Old Friends
Rekindling connections with old friends can provide you with a valuable source of support. These are the people who knew you before your marriage, and they can remind you of the person you were before the relationship. Reconnecting with old friends can also help you regain a sense of belonging and boost your self-esteem, ultimately helping you regain confidence after divorce.
Join Support Groups
Participating in support groups for divorcees can help you connect with others experiencing feelings of loneliness and loss. Sharing your experiences and offering mutual support can be incredibly therapeutic. Support groups also provide a safe space to express your emotions without fear of judgment, which can be essential to your healing process.
#2 Rediscover Your Hobbies and Interests
Focusing on hobbies and interests can be an effective way to cope with loneliness after divorce. Engaging in activities you enjoy will occupy your time and help you rediscover your passions and sense of identity.
Try New Activities
Now is also the perfect time to explore new hobbies and interests. Trying new activities can be a fun way to meet new people, and you might even discover a newfound passion in the process. Consider joining clubs or taking classes in areas that interest you. This can not only help fill your time with enjoyable activities but also allow you to make new friends with similar interests.
#3 Prioritize Self-Care
Caring for your physical and emotional well-being is essential during this challenging time. Prioritizing self-care and continuing your self-care trends can help alleviate loneliness and boost your overall mood.
Exercise Regularly
Engaging in regular exercise is not only beneficial for your physical health but can also improve your mental well-being. Exercise releases endorphins, which are natural mood boosters. Additionally, exercise can help you develop a sense of accomplishment and self-efficacy, further improving your emotional state.
However, coping with loneliness is sometimes easier said than done, so to help you, we’ve gathered five practical strategies for overcoming these feelings. Combined with your determination and strength, they’ll help you leave your divorce feeling more fulfilled than ever.
#1 Establish a Support System
Creating a strong network of friends and family is crucial when coping with loneliness after divorce. Surrounding yourself with positive, supportive people can significantly improve your emotional well-being.
Connect with Old Friends
Rekindling connections with old friends can provide you with a valuable source of support. These are the people who knew you before your marriage, and they can remind you of the person you were before the relationship. Reconnecting with old friends can also help you regain a sense of belonging and boost your self-esteem, ultimately helping you regain confidence after divorce.
Join Support Groups
Participating in support groups for divorcees can help you connect with others experiencing feelings of loneliness and loss. Sharing your experiences and offering mutual support can be incredibly therapeutic. Support groups also provide a safe space to express your emotions without fear of judgment, which can be essential to your healing process.
#2 Rediscover Your Hobbies and Interests
Focusing on hobbies and interests can be an effective way to cope with loneliness after divorce. Engaging in activities you enjoy will occupy your time and help you rediscover your passions and sense of identity.
Try New Activities
Now is also the perfect time to explore new hobbies and interests. Trying new activities can be a fun way to meet new people, and you might even discover a newfound passion in the process. Consider joining clubs or taking classes in areas that interest you. This can not only help fill your time with enjoyable activities but also allow you to make new friends with similar interests.
#3 Prioritize Self-Care
Caring for your physical and emotional well-being is essential during this challenging time. Prioritizing self-care and continuing your self-care trends can help alleviate loneliness and boost your overall mood.
Exercise Regularly
Engaging in regular exercise is not only beneficial for your physical health but can also improve your mental well-being. Exercise releases endorphins, which are natural mood boosters. Additionally, exercise can help you develop a sense of accomplishment and self-efficacy, further improving your emotional state.
Eat a Balanced Diet
Maintaining a balanced diet is essential for not only your physical but your mental health. Eating well can help combat feelings of depression and anxiety often associated with divorce. Ensure you consume plenty of fruits, vegetables, whole grains, lean proteins, and healthy fats. Staying hydrated and limiting your intake of processed foods, sugar, and alcohol can also improve mood and overall health.
Prioritize Sleep
Getting adequate sleep is crucial for your emotional and physical well-being. Make sure you establish a regular sleep schedule. On top of that, have a relaxing bedtime routine to help you wind down at the end of the day. Good sleep hygiene can significantly impact your mood and resilience during this challenging time.
#4 Reorganize Your Living Space
Removing reminders of your ex can be helpful in the healing process, and that’s just one of the benefits of decluttering after divorce. Creating a living space that reflects your individual style and preferences can provide a fresh start, making it easier to embrace your new life.
The Benefits of Using Storage
If you’re not ready to say goodbye to certain items that remind you of your marriage, a storage unit can be helpful. Using storage during divorce for these items can provide a temporary solution until you’re prepared to make a more permanent decision. This approach allows you to control your possessions while giving yourself the necessary space to heal and move on.
Personalize Your Space
Take the opportunity to personalize your living space to reflect your tastes and preferences better. This could involve redecorating, rearranging furniture, or adding new artwork that resonates with you. Creating a comfortable and nurturing environment can significantly affect your emotional well-being and be a positive foundation for your new life.
#5 Seek Professional Help
If you’re struggling with feelings of loneliness and depression, seeking the help of a professional therapist or counselor can be invaluable. After all, keeping your mental health in check during divorce is crucial. Mental health professionals can provide guidance and support tailored to your specific needs.
Individual Therapy
Individual therapy allows you to explore your emotions, thoughts, and behaviors in a safe, confidential setting. A licensed mental health professional can help you develop coping strategies, work on personal growth, and build resilience as you navigate the challenges of post-divorce life.
Group Therapy
Group therapy provides an opportunity to connect with others facing similar struggles. In a group setting, you can share experiences, gain new perspectives, and learn from the coping strategies of others. Group therapy can be especially helpful in combating feelings of isolation and loneliness after a divorce.
It’s Time to Rediscover Self-Love!
The journey of coping with loneliness after divorce is undeniably challenging, yet it presents a unique opportunity for personal growth and self-discovery. While the strategies mentioned in this article provide guidance and support, the most significant factor in overcoming loneliness is your determination and resilience. Embrace this transitional phase as a chance to rediscover your passions, forge new connections, and build a life that reflects your authentic self. As you navigate this process, remember that you are not alone and that countless others have successfully emerged stronger and more fulfilled on the other side of loneliness. In case you’re struggling more than you can handle, don’t be afraid to schedule your coaching session and get the expert help you need to move on. By focusing on your well-being and taking proactive steps, you’ll overcome the pain of divorce and lay the foundation for a brighter, more rewarding future.
Author’s bio: Jesus Lascano is a licensed family therapist with over two decades of experience. He loves writing blogs and sharing advice with those struggling to overcome mental health issues.
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The Biggest Benefits of Decluttering After Divorce
Dealing with a divorce might be one of the most challenging things you have ever faced. It isn’t going to be easy, but it’s one of those times and opportunities life gives you to come back stronger than ever before and to blossom into your newly discovered self. Nevertheless, don’t forget that allowing yourself to grieve is an integral part of healing. But, the crucial moment is the beginning of a new chapter in your life. This is why decluttering after divorce has numerous benefits. Therefore, in this article, globalguidetodivorce.com will share its numerous benefits to your healing journey.
Why decluttering after divorce is essential
Since dealing with a divorce is usually overwhelming and tiring, you might not feel capable of cleaning and decluttering your home and choose to postpone it. Nevertheless, even if it is painful, it needs to be done – like ripping off a bandage. If you choose to postpone it, it might hurt more after some time to stir up your feelings by going through the items that remind you of your former spouse. Therefore, decluttering as soon as possible is an essential part of the road to recovery after divorce. So, please don’t put it off; gather the strength to do it, and let the healing process begin.
Decluttering your home after a divorce can reduce stress and anxiety
There is nothing better than clearing your home to clear out your mind. Many feng shui experts state that individuals who don’t keep unnecessary things in their homes are more relaxed and less likely to feel stress and anxiety. Creating more space lets you breathe – is a sentence used quite often.
Many individuals opt for minimalistic decorations precisely for this reason. They don’t give out the feeling of a cluttered space that holds no room for anything else, and that can be suffocating when you are going through a sensitive period in your life. Besides, decluttering after divorce will ensure that you take the first step to let go of the past. And once you do, there will be no more room for stress or anxiety. You will see how liberating it can feel to let go. Therefore, out with the old and in with the new.
Caption: Decluttering after divorce means creating space for new and positive things in your life. The sooner you start decluttering, the sooner you start healing.
How to declutter
While you may not be eager to eliminate the memories that were a part of your life for so long, it is crucial for moving on. Throwing away anything that isn’t necessary or useful to you on your healing journey is a move for the bold, but it is fine if you are not ready for this step. There are many more alternatives. Go easy on yourself. It is entirely normal to still feel connected to specific items that remind you of pleasant times. However, if they trigger painful memories, it might be a good idea to hide them for a while. For example, preparing your items for storage is an excellent step forward. You can get your items ready to be taken away, and you won’t have to look at them and be reminded of your past life. Once you are healed, you may feel differently about them and do the things you didn’t have the strength to do before.
Redecorating can bring a sense of a fresh new start
Getting creative when it comes to redecorating and creating a new space in your life can be incredibly healing. According to some psychology experts, eliminating large pieces of furniture can even be therapeutic. It would be an excellent idea to redecorate your home entirely according to your taste. However, this isn’t always practical since divorces can get pretty expensive, and you may not have the necessary funds to do so. Nevertheless, changing even the smallest of details means that you are taking positive action in life. Getting something new that is just for you can influence you to think positively. Maybe now you can buy that thing you always wanted but knew your spouse would hate.
Caption: Redecorating your entire home has numerous positive effects on your nervous system that will help you get through a tough time.
Making the big change
The final cause of decluttering and redecorating is to make things feel different and fresh. This might mean you will have to eliminate everything from your past life. It’s not unusual for people to move to another state after divorce. But before you start a new chapter, ensure you are free from any attachment to things or people. Letting go of the things you were once attached to is essential to healing your broken heart, especially if you find that they often make you sad or lonely. Please do it for your future self, who will be happy and full of life after you heal.
Caption: It’s not unusual for many people to decide to move after a divorce. A new city gives numerous opportunities for a fresh start.
Final words
Letting go of the past is usually painful and awakens many negative feelings like anger, sadness, anxiety, or even depression. However challenging it may look now, try to think about what lies ahead. Once you get through this, you will experience change and growth. There is much wisdom in pain, so allow yourself to grieve. After your tears dry, it’s time to take action. After reading this article, you have seen the many benefits of decluttering after divorce. So, get some boxes and start making space for the good things life will inevitably bring your way.
Meta Description: If you are having difficulties moving on after a divorce, you may want to see the biggest benefits of decluttering after divorce.
Author’s bio: Angie Johnson is a writer who takes a keen interest in psychology and whose articles are primarily dedicated to self-help topics. She is happily divorced and lives in Massachusetts with her daughter Julie and their golden retriever Sparky.
Why Owning a Pet is Beneficial for You and Your Family
The majority of us have great experiences growing up with pets in our homes. They are usually our very first closest friends, and they help us get through some of the most difficult periods in our lives. However, pets are much more than just furry friends. Owning animals can genuinely improve both mental and physical health, as well as the development of young children who live with cats, dogs, and other family pets.
Therefore, think twice before rejecting your child’s request for a cute dog or kitten the next time they make the request. You could be pleasantly surprised by the advantages of keeping a pet for your kids. Here are some of the reasons why you should consider:
- More sympathy, care, and respect for others
According to research, kids who often engage with pets have an edge when forming connections with other people. Even for adults, socializing may be difficult, so you can only imagine how frightening it can be at times for kids. Pets are an excellent way to practice developing relationships since they don’t judge your child whether they forget to be polite or are having a bad day. But most importantly, they want accountability and care. As they look out for their pets, children will grow more sensitive to the needs of others.
There’s no denying that kids and animals can connect on a unique level—we’ve all read books and watched movies about kids and dogs that have unbreakable relationships. Giving your kids responsibility for the care of your pet will strengthen this attachment and teach them valuable lessons. Simple duties like feeding the dog in the morning or cleaning the cat’s litter box can be included. When your children finish up their pet chores, compliment them and give them greater responsibility if they show signs of maturity.
- Better mental and physical well-being
The benefits of having a household pet are not just limited to cats or dogs; experts have also found relaxing effects from having fish and other small animals at home. Both kids and adults do better emotionally and physically when they have a pet.
- The happy hormones that promote positive feelings like pleasure, happiness, and even love, can be increased by playing with pets.
- Owners of pets have lower triglyceride and cholesterol levels than non-pet owners, which are risk factors for heart disease.
- When under extreme stress, people who own pets have lower blood pressure than those who do not.
- A close companion for your child
Every week, parents spend many hours attempting to keep their kids happy and engaged. Simple daily activities for your child, like petting the household cat or taking the dog for a walk, can be enjoyable and calming. Additionally, playing with pets is a wonderful method for your kid to develop relationships with these beloved members of your family.
Friendship issues can arise in children of any age. While a 15-year-old might be concerned about rifts splitting their buddy group apart, a 5-year-old might be worried about making friends at school. But despite all the difficulties we face in our interactions as children and adults, our pets remain our loyal, loving companions.
- Opportunities to learn
The best pets are those that have been taught; they can follow simple instructions, act appropriately in public, and are safe with other animals and people. With the proper equipment and some parental assistance, the majority of children are quite competent in training friendly, non-aggressive animals. Even training a new dog or cat may be a family effort that strengthens your bonds.
Your children will develop their patience and consistency by training a new pet. They’ll develop healthy habits and learn the advantages of exerting themselves to accomplish a task.
- A bond that will last forever
Owning a pet is like expanding your family by one. They are always around you and are likely to accompany you on camping trips, family reunions, and other significant gatherings. They will appear in family portraits and be the center of many great memories. In addition, your children’s bond with your pets may be their first exposure to loving and caring for someone who is more innocent than themselves. They won’t ever forget those precious memories.
Pets can be a wonderful addition to any household and have a lot to give. To find the ideal pet for your family, it is essential to do as much research and explore the market as you can. Although getting a pet requires a substantial commitment, the benefits for your family make the effort worthwhile.
Author is Michael Morris of 6XD Media
Improv Acting Saved My Life
Two scary characters peered into our store windows. Instead of locking the doors right away, we just hoped they would move on. Big mistake. These bald men were covered with tattoos beginning at the top of their heads. They entered our store. I did not hear Babs whisper “Run out the back door.” She sprinted out the front to the shop next door.
After spotting the outline of a gun in one of the thug’s pockets, with his hand on it, I decided to stay put – more afraid of being shot in the back. After a few minutes of the pair walking around the store, I wondered why the police had not yet arrived. Dead quiet with no sirens. They looked high on meth and were missing some teeth in spite of being in their early thirties.
They went over to where gold jewellery was hanging on the wall. I remained calm and decided improv acting could be my ticket to safety. I took on the role of the airhead blonde, clueless and nonthreatening. One fingered the chains and slipped some in his pocket. I suggested he examine them and gently retrieved them and held them up.
“There, see what I mean” I sang out as I hung them back on the hook. “They are tin – painted gold, very cheap.” “Oh” the robber replied, “What about this one?” the confused man asked. I answered “Notice it is slightly curved like a tin can. Why would you want these?” I had the dumbest look on my face pretending I thought they were shoppers.
At this point, they forgot about grabbing the cash and focused on why they would want tacky stuff. Seems like they were thinking about how they would not get much money for them. Since these guys are not the sharpest tools in the box, I asked. “Wouldn’t you rather have the really good jewellery from the shop around the corner?” No shop was really there.
Of course, the only answer was “Yes” for these connoisseurs of quality. I opened the door and told them “I have to point it out to you from the sidewalk so you go the right way. You make a turn (gesturing right) Come on; I have to show you.”
The greedy, gullible men followed and went outside as I kept pointing. As they looked in that direction, I quickly slipped inside and shut the door. They rattled the locked door of the store next door. My co-worker ran in from the back door. Babs had called 911 who refused to help since she had gotten out of the store. They claimed she was not in danger. Did not matter to them that I was still there. Ludicrous.
Babs proceeded to call the police and explained about the attempted robbery and the perpetrators were still in the vicinity of our downtown store. We closed the store and in the half hour we were still there, the police never arrived.
Doing imrov acting saved me from possibly getting shot. The dumb blonde act helped the robbers to relax and not be trigger happy. I remained calm while acting. As I as getting in my car, I started shaking after this adventure.
Guide for Moving to a New State After a Divorce
After a divorce, you may be looking to turn a new leaf and start afresh in a completely different location. But before you pin a map to the wall and throw a dart at it to find your new spot, there are a few things – and people – you need to take into consideration. So let’s go over four instances where planning ahead will help you make the right decision:
If You’re Looking for a New Place to Live
Costs of living vary greatly from state to state and even from city to city, so take that into consideration before you settle on a place to live and consider what you’ll be able to afford, taking into account spousal support, child custody, and other expenses. And before you even look at your options, if you and your ex-spouse have children together, discuss how you’ll share custody once you two live further apart, and make sure you have your co-parent’s consent in writing before you take off to a different state. Look at the available amenities in the neighborhoods you are considering moving into, and make sure they are safe and suitable for your children.
If You’re Ready to Relocate
Before you book your movers to take you to your new home, make sure your divorce is completely finalized and take inventory of what you have, what you plan on taking with you, and what you want to get rid of. When you have shared assets with your ex-spouse, it’s best to discuss together how you’re planning on dividing those and come to an amicable agreement. Also, remember that if you’re the one moving away, it will cost you less money to transport fewer items across states than a complete household move would. Once you’ve decided on what you’re keeping, look for movers in your area and get at least three quotes in writing before choosing a company. And don’t forget to read reviews online to avoid scam artists and unreliable people.
If You’re Starting a Business
If you’re planning on launching a business after you relocate, make sure you check the legal requirements for business ownership in your new state in order to stay compliant and avoid penalties. Create a plan describing your company, detail how you’re planning on selling your products or services, explain how your business will be structured, include what funding you’ll need to get your startup off the ground, and come up with some financial projections to attract possible investors. And if you’re looking to find partners for your new venture, think about joining the local chamber of commerce, or renting a coworking space where you’ll get to mingle with other solopreneurs and make new friends in your new city.
If You Need to Find a New Doctor
Relocating to a different state means you’ll need to find new doctors, such as a dentist and a general practitioner, to help you manage your health and to treat you in case of illness or injury. If you haven’t found your bearings in your new place yet, you can find an online doctor and get an appointment for a remote consultation. This is an easy, safe, convenient, and private way to seek treatment if you’re not feeling well, or if you’re just in need of a checkup. You’ll be able to book a same-day appointment from anywhere, and if you need medication, your prescription will be sent to the pharmacy of your choice for added convenience.
Making a complete life change after a divorce by relocating to a different state may help you in your emotional recovery. But before you embark on your next adventure, make sure you do your research. And don’t leave any loose ends that could cause you and your ex-spouse potential issues later.
Looking for advice on dating, relationships, or divorce? At globalguidetodivorce.com, you’ll find tips on co-parenting, legal issues, and much, much more.
Author is Suzie Wilson ⎸info@happierhome.net ⎸Happier Home
A Woman’s Running Guide
So you want to start running? Congratulations! This can be a great way to improve your health and lose weight. Women can get a lot of health benefits once they make a habit of daily running. We know taking a start isn’t easy, but we’ll help all the women out there start their running routine through this article. But before you take a step, there are some things you need to know.
Get Yourself the Right Running Shoes
It’s important to choose suitable shoes if you’re going to start running. Make sure that you have the right type of shoe for your foot and running style. Here are some tips on how to choose the right running shoes for women:
- If you’re a beginner, go for a lightweight, low-profile shoe that is flexible and has good shock absorption.
- If you’re an experienced runner, consider getting a more supportive shoe that will help improve your mileage and speed.
- Look for shoes with a heel cushion or stability ball at the heel to provide extra cushioning and support.
Decide Why You Want To Start Running
Running is a great way to get your heart rate up and burn calories. It can be a great way to improve your fitness level and feel better overall. However, if you’re not sure why you want to start running, here are some reasons to consider:
- Running can help prevent or reduce the risk of diseases such as heart disease, stroke, diabetes, and some types of cancer.
- Running can also improve your mood and mental well-being.
- It’s a great way to connect with nature and get some exercise while doing so.
Find A Appropriate Time And Place To Start Running
All the women looking to start running should look for the appropriate time to start running. The best time and place to start may vary depending on your current fitness level. Beginners should try starting out by running short distances (around a block or two) outside during daylight hours. As you become more comfortable, you can gradually increase your distance and run in different locations, including at parks or other open spaces.
Make A Plan For Yourself
Its really easy to think about running, but it can be hard to get started. However, with a proper plan, you can get started easily. Make a plan for yourself and follow it as closely as possible to ensure you achieve the best results. Start slowly and gradually increase your distance over time, gradually building up your endurance. Find a running group or join an online community to support and motivate you along the way.
Get Started
Once you make up a plan, start implementing it at your earliest. Don’t wait for tomorrow; start the routine from the current day. There is a philosophical proverb “that it will never be tomorrow because when tomorrow arrives, it becomes today.” If you are new to running, it can be helpful to start with a beginner’s routine. There are many different running routes and distances to choose from, so find one that is challenging but manageable for you. Once you have started running, keep a diary of your progress so that you can track your performance and progress to see how much you have improved.
Benefits of running for women
Running is a great exercise for women of all ages and fitness levels. It has many benefits, including decreasing stress and improving mood, heart health, joint health, and weight management. In addition to these general benefits, running can also help improve your overall fitness level and help you lose weight.
How does running improve mood?
It has been seen that running help improve mood and mental well-being in both men and women. In fact, research suggests that running may be one of the most beneficial exercises for overall mental health. One study found that people who ran had lower levels of stress hormones in their bloodstream than those who did not run. Another study found that people who ran tended to have better mental health than those who did not run at all. This is likely because running releases endorphins, which are chemicals that reduce pain and increase feelings of pleasure.
How does running improve heart rate?
Running has long been known to be a finest way to improve heart rate. In fact, running at a moderate intensity can help increase your heart rate by up to 50%. This is because running increases your metabolic rate, which in turn helps burn more calories.
How does running reduce stress?
Running is a proven way to reduce stress levels. In one study, runners who completed a moderate-intensity run reported feeling less stressed than those who didn’t run at all. Researchers believe that this is because running releases endorphins, which are hormones that can decrease pain and inflammation. Additionally, running has a positive impact on mental health by helping people to de-stress and connect with their surroundings.
How does running help in weight management?
Running can help burn a lot of calories and help in weight management. The average person burns 80-140 calories per mile, depending on your speed and weight, so running can help you lose weight.
Conclusion
Now you must have a clear idea of what to do, so get out there and run!
Running is one of the simplest and most effective exercises you can do for your health. It’s low-impact, calorie-burning, and can be done anywhere. Plus, it’s a great way to connect with nature. Ensure your running shoes are comfortable enough and fit perfectly. Running in uncomfortable shoes can lead to injury.
All the women out there thinking about running should start the routine from today. Start slowly and gradually increase your running time as you become more comfortable and confident in your ability to run long distances. Find a safe place to run that is also convenient for you – whether that’s at a park or other open spaces.
Continuing Self-Care Trends in the New Normal
Signs of the new normal are emerging as newly-vaccinated Americans venture out of their homes, and it’s not the raucous “Roaring 20s” everyone predicted. Rather than racing to return to normal, Time magazine notes that people are holding onto the habits and routines they built during 2020-21. That’s not to say we aren’t eager to see old friends and hug relatives. However, people are rethinking what it means to look and feel their best in a post-pandemic world. Wendi’s Tips shares four trends shaping the way we present ourselves.
Comfort Over Fashion
Staying home more in the past meant the privilege of working in pajamas and slippers. Now, people are questioning why “real clothes” have to be so uncomfortable and redefining the meaning of professional attire.
For fashion, that means more athleisure and dressed-up loungewear. Think joggers in trendy prints and durable leggings that are just at home in the grocery store as they are in the gym. Office dress codes are relaxing, too, with workers opting for pared-down professional wardrobes composed of comfortable basics. If you’re dreading the day you have to give up your “work sweatpants,” tap into comfort-first workwear trends like loose-fitting trousers and slacks for your return to the office.
Back-to-Basics Skincare
Women are abandoning heavy makeup as they shift beauty spending to skincare. If you’re one of the many people affected by maskne, you’ve probably started paying more attention to skincare during the pandemic yourself.
There’s a dizzying array of skincare products out there. Where do you start if all you’ve ever used is moisturizer and SPF? There’s no one-size-fits-all answer to skincare because everyone’s skin is different. However, if you’re new to skincare regimens, Elle magazine lists a few kits designed for your skin type, which is a great place to start. When you want to take your look up a notch, opt for a tinted moisturizer or a glow kit instead of foundation. These lightweight alternatives are less likely to clog pores. This is also the perfect time to experiment with fun eye makeup looks.
Returning to Our Roots
Many people looked forward to their first salon haircut during the new normal. But while some people are going bold with their new look, others are embracing their roots by growing out their hair, keeping their grays, and letting their natural curls shine. In fact, L’OFFICIEL notes that the past year has seen a surge in products designed to enhance hair health. This includes shampoos and conditioners designed for your hair type, whether you want to clarify, hydrate, repair, thicken, define, or grow.
If you do go for a dramatic new look, donate your tresses to a good cause. Locks of Love, Children with Hair Loss, and Wigs for Kids are among the leading organizations that accept hair donations.
Embracing New Ventures
Feeling your best in 2022 isn’t just about the way you look. The toll that the pandemic took on so many lives seems to have intensified interest in not just self-care but nursing itself. Improving oneself may include career goals, particularly going back to school to get a degree in business. Whether it’s taking courses online or in person, many programs are set to maximize convenience and thoroughness, and some are extremely timely. Going this route provides you with the latest information and technology, preparing you to advance your career or take it another direction.
You may also be looking at changing jobs or starting a new business. If it’s the latter, be sure to check off a few essential boxes right away. This includes getting a business plan together, creating a home office if you plan to work from home, and lining up all the legal requirements. It’s important to determine what type of business you plan to operate by choosing which type to form as, whether it’s a self-proprietorship, a partnership, or an LLC. Fortunately, you can outsource the process with the help of an online formation service, which is quick and affordable.
People are also asking how they can maintain healthy habits now that responsibilities have returned to normal. Many of us have spent more time working on ourselves, getting active, appreciating nature, and utilizing naturopathic medicine and massage therapies during the pandemic, and we may be reluctant to relinquish that self-care time.
For the most part, schedules have shifted to what they used to be, but it’s still possible to make time for wellness. The key is scheduling it. Build self-care, fitness, and other healthy routines into your schedule the same way you would a business meeting to ensure wellness is given the priority it deserves. A huge part of this is embracing relationship changes as well, so identify the toxic people or situations in your life and call on dating coach Wendi Schuller to help you navigate your options.
Life looks much different now after the pandemic — and that’s not necessarily a bad thing. The past couple of years led us to rethink priorities, from how we spend time to how we present ourselves to the world. As we step out in 2022, it might not be back to the old normal. However, the new normal we’re building takes a more holistic view of what it means to be well.
Author is Chelsea Lamb clamb@businesspop.net She has spent the last eight years honing her tech skills and is the resident tech specialist and co-founder of BusinessPop.net. Her goal is to demystify some of the technical aspects of business ownership and entrepreneurship
Dating coach Wendi Schuller of Wendi’s Tips draws upon her knowledge as a nurse, neuro-linguistic programmer (NLP), and hypnotherapist to provide a blueprint to guide people through divorce and beyond. Contact Wendi today to schedule your coaching session, or to find out more! wendischuller@hotmail.com
How Single Parents Can Better Manage Stress
Life can be stressful for single parents and their kids. For parents, there is financial stress, job stress, interpersonal stress, and the overarching stress of having to raise the kids alone. For kids, there is a completely different type of stress – fear of the unknown and feeling self-conscious about coming of age without their mother or father in the picture. As a single parent, it’s hard to manage it all.
Here are some tips to help give you some ideas on how to minimize stress.
Cut Yourself Some Slack
The first tip is likely the hardest, but it’s something you must strive toward. Single parents often set high expectations for themselves – often too high. However hard it may be, try to cut yourself some slack. Despite any shortcomings, you’re doing the best you can.
Practice Relaxation Techniques
The seemingly obvious way to reduce stress is to remove the stressor from your life. Unfortunately, when it comes to managing a single-parent household, this isn’t always an option. So take steps to alleviate the effects of that stress instead. This is where relaxation techniques come into play.
Meditation can be very effective. Listen to guided meditations or try to focus on whatever brings you inner peace. Simply put, meditation is being mindful in the moment.
You can repeat a mantra, or you can just be in the moment consumed by your present surroundings. If your kids are old enough, you can even get them in on the practice. As Psychology Today points out, meditation is scientifically proven to boost all the best parts of life while removing negativity.
When you’re meditating, make sure you’re in a quiet space in your home to promote relaxation. Wearing comfortable clothes like leggings and a roomy T-shirt can also help you focus.
Get Your Kids Involved
You’re not being a bad parent if you want some free time. You need it if you want to keep your sanity. One way to increase your alone time is to get your kids involved in activities. After-school clubs, sports, community arts groups — you can find an organization that specializes in facilitating the exploration of their interests.
Cultivate their love for community service and volunteering by registering for animal welfare or environmental organizations. If your child is athletic, team sports are a great way for them to meet new people and encounter new role models. Talk to your kids about their interests, and there will surely be something they’d love to get involved in.
Foster a Stress-Free Home Environment
You spend most of your time at home, so it’s naturally going to have a lot of impact on your stress level. A messy, disorganized home is a stressful home. Even if you aren’t a super tidy person, excess clutter can be a problem. This is especially true for a family run by a single parent who is already busy. Take some time to fully declutter your home from top to bottom so it’s more manageable. You can also use some sensory tips and tricks to reduce stress. Plants, essential oils, aromatherapy candles, and natural light can help people feel relaxed. Open those curtains and let the sun shine in.
As a single parent, you are managing a family alone. There’s no way around that. There will be a lot of stress to deal with — both your own and that of your kids. Try to combat this stress by getting your kids involved in engaging activities, making sure you have a clean, organized, calming home environment, and setting some time aside to practice relaxation exercises.
Author Janice Russell believes the only way to survive parenthood is to find the humor in it. She created Parenting Disasters so that parents would have a go-to resource whenever they needed a laugh, but also to show parents they aren’t alone. She wants every frazzled parent out there to remember that for every kid stuck in a toilet, there’s another one out there somewhere who’s just graced their parents’ walls with some Sharpie artwork!
Grief May Surprise You After Divorce Or A Break Up
One may think they are over their relationship or got past divorce and later feel the loss. Grief can sneak up on you and catch you by surprise. It is like swimming in calm waters and a big wave comes up and slaps you hard. It takes time to mourn a marriage or love interest. One day you are fine and the next in tears. It can be lonely at first. Grief comes in stages and one can move back and forth between them.
Denial
This is avoiding the situation. Pretending that things are not happening. Not dealing with reality, such as thinking if you do not hire an attorney, then the divorce will not happen. Or he/she will come to their senses and stay with you. It is delusional thinking. Denial may be manifested as carrying on as usual with the same routines as if nothing is happening.
Anger
This is when a person realizes denial is not stopping the divorce or a break up. The other person is firm, “It is over.” They have collected any personal belongings at your place and have dropped off yours. In a divorce situation, it is no longer possible to deny the divorce is happening. Papers are served. The other party’s attorney has contacted you or perhaps a court date has been set. One is furious that their life is in such an upheaval. Anger can have one reacting instead of responding. Reacting is impulsive and not thinking with a clear head.
Anger can lead to revenge – such as using the children as weapons. Too often in the news, a parent kills the children in a divorce situation to get back at the other one. It can be trashing a spouse’s reputation on social media.
Bargaining
It is hoping that if you change your behavior then the divorce or break up will be stopped. One may try and make a deal with the other person. “I can change. I won’t do (whatever annoyed them) anymore.” Or with a marriage, “I will agree to a divorce if we go to a weekend retreat to try and patch up our relationship.”
Being in the bargaining stage is acknowledging the situation which is not done in the denial stage. It is moving along in the grief process. It is wishing for a miracle to happen.
Depression
Depression in grief is not the same as the chronic clinical one. Rather, it is numbness. Feeling as if stumbling around in slow motion. There may be brain fog or lethargy. The body is worn out from having the strong surge of emotions from earlier in the divorce process. These ranged from shock, panic to despair. It can be a time to take a pause and nurture yourself. The stress hormones, such as cortisol, have flooded one’s body. This quieter time can be a way to chill out and regroup.
Acceptance
This last stage might come during the proceedings or a bit later. One has come to terms with what happened – no longer being married. When it is a break up, finally realizing that person is no longer in your life. One acknowledges the loss and begins to look ahead to the future. A new chapter is opening in life which can include changing careers or relocation. Taking up new challenges and hobbies. It is a time of exploration – whether it is a self-assessment or travel to enticing destinations. Time to start a new chapter in your life. Many of us change careers.
This is based on my article published in the Divorce Magazine out of Toronto.
Why Playfulness Is Important
Playfulness is a way to reduce stress and get through the minutia and tasks required during stressful times, such as divorce. Besides helping life to be more bearable when juggling proceedings, children and a job, a sense of playfulness lowers anxiety. Being in a calmer state is beneficial for making those crucial decisions regarding splitting assets and so forth.
There are various studies on the benefits of playfulness in getting through adversity (such as divorce) and contributing to longevity. Dr Proyer from the University of Zurich has done much research on adult playfulness and states these individuals cope better with stress and being able to adapt to situations. One study found that playfulness increased one’s well-being and resilience. When I was a nurse on a busy trauma unit, most of us were burned out with patients hovering between life and death. The two playful nurses who wadded up paper to bat around like a ball, were not. In-between patient codes and procedures, these fellows made up games and were the most relaxed nurses on the unit.
Professor Barret at University of Illinois also found that playful folks are better able to handle stress. These individuals perceived their stress levels to be lower, than the less playful subjects in the study. When people are playful, they have better strategies to deal with stress according to her research. Mistakes are more likely to be viewed as learning opportunities rather than as blunders.
Consider the advantages to having a playful outlook during divorce. One is better able to utilize coping strategies during this stressful time and less likely to fall apart. A person can take a pause from proceedings and be engrossed in pleasurable activities. Playing lets out some steam and enables one to see the humorous side of life. Children benefit by being around laughter and spontaneity instead of glum parents.
Playfulness improves cognitive, emotional and social functioning as was reported In the American Journal of Play, Summer 2011 edition. Good mental (cognitive) functioning is necessary when going through finances and deciding whether to sell the marital home or buy out one’s spouse during divorce. Other studies found that playful folks draw people to them. They are open, fun to be around, engaging and positive. Being able to connect with others and have a network of support enables one to move through the craziness of divorce. Being bitter and negative post-divorce can push people away.
An example of the longevity benefits of playfulness are the elderly Chinese in Beijing. These senior citizens were dancing to the music from their boom boxes, doing Tai Chi, playing board games, plus more. They laughed, indulged in badminton and chatted. They clearly enjoyed their time together and were extremely active physically and mentally. There were no wheelchairs or walkers in that group. This contrasts to a divorced woman I knew in the States, who was anything but playful and died of a heart attack.
I was at Disneyland with my sons when I decided to initiate divorce. I called family and friends between rides on Snow White, Mr. Toad’s Wild Adventure and Indiana Jones. I was forced to be playful in this atmosphere and that started my divorce in a much more relaxed way. Figuring out finances was less stressful when standing in line for The Haunted Mansion. My sons were relieved that divorce was about to happen. Disneyland set the tone for keeping playfulness throughout my divorce.
There are ways to be more light-hearted during proceedings. Plan at least one weekly get-together with pals to vent or catch up on news. Having support helps to lighten your burden. Spend time in nature which is calming, even if in a small leafy city square. My sons and I watched comedies and laughed a lot. Go to a fair and act like a kid. Get out of town to spend a day walking along the beach and enjoying the amusements on the boardwalk. My mother took my sons and I on a river cruise during divorce, which was approved by both of our attorneys. That took our minds off the divorce and into the play mode. Think of how to inject some fun into your agenda on a regular basis, and divorce will go a bit smoother.
My article was originally printed in DivorceForce www.divorceforce.com/