How Minimalism Can Simplify Your Life After Divorce
When navigating the choppy waters of life after divorce, the philosophy of minimalism can serve as a beacon of light. It might seem unusual, but embracing minimalism can simplify your life after divorce and become a key player in reshaping your journey. This lifestyle approach helps strip away the unnecessary, allowing you to focus on what truly matters and creating space for healing and growth. Moreover, one of the most challenging aspects of divorce—coping with loneliness—can be mitigated by adopting a minimalist lifestyle. Decluttering our lives opens room for new relationships, experiences, and a renewed sense of self. Let’s delve into how minimalism can transform your post-divorce life into a simpler, more fulfilling chapter.
Understanding Minimalism: Less Is More
At its core, minimalism is a lifestyle philosophy that promotes living with less and focusing more on what adds value to life. It’s a movement away from the materialistic tendencies of our consumer culture and a shift toward embracing simplicity. Minimalism isn’t just about getting rid of things; it’s a mindset, a way of looking at the world and your place in it, focusing on quality over quantity.
Consider this scenario: after a divorce, it’s common for individuals to move and start afresh. That can be a daunting task, but minimalism can make it easier. Imagine having to pack and transport fewer items. The philosophy of “less is more” can help you prepare for the move, making it less stressful and more efficient. You only take what is necessary, what truly brings you joy or has a distinct purpose.
In the context of emotional well-being, minimalism helps reduce stress and anxiety, two feelings often exacerbated by a significant life change such as divorce. By embracing a minimalist lifestyle, you declutter your physical surroundings and mind, leading to a calmer, more centered existence.
In essence, minimalism promotes the notion of living with intentionality. It encourages us to mindfully decide what we want in our lives and what we do not, a skill that can be invaluable when navigating life post-divorce. The simplicity of minimalism can offer a refreshing perspective amidst the chaos of change, enabling a smoother transition into your new life.
Minimalism Can Simplify Your Life After Divorce: The Connection
When experiencing the turbulence that often comes with divorce, a tool to simplify and navigate this change can be invaluable. Here, we’ll explore how minimalism steps into this role seamlessly. It’s time to see how minimalism can simplify your life after divorce, helping you keep your mental health in check while offering a fresh perspective on rebuilding. Let’s dive in.
Minimalism’s Influence on Perspective
The powerful connection between minimalism and life after divorce starts with perspective. Divorce, undoubtedly, shakes the foundations of what we know, plunging us into uncharted territory. In such times, minimalism’s simplicity can offer a clean slate, a fresh start. Instead of focusing on what’s lost, minimalism nudges us to cherish what remains, facilitating an appreciation for things that enrich our lives.
Easing the Transition with Minimalism
Minimalism isn’t just about discarding physical possessions; it’s also about letting go of emotional baggage. It encourages us to identify and hold onto the essentials, the relationships, and experiences that genuinely bring us happiness and fulfillment, making the transition smoother.
Minimalism’s Role in Rebuilding
Divorce is not just an end; it’s a new beginning, too. By embracing minimalism, you can rebuild your life not around material possessions but around experiences, relationships, and self-growth. Ultimately, minimalism can simplify your life after divorce by keeping you grounded, focused, and positively engaged with your new reality.
Practical Steps to Embrace Minimalism Post-Divorce
As we delve into the practical aspects of embracing minimalism after divorce, we aim to provide actionable steps to aid your journey. This section outlines the roadmap to a simpler, more focused life post-divorce, highlighting how minimalism can help you navigate this significant life transition.
Start with Decluttering
Embarking on the minimalist journey starts with decluttering. Assess your possessions, deciding what truly adds value to your life and what does not. This important step goes beyond tidying up; it’s about creating an environment that aids your healing and growth post-divorce.
Prioritize Essentials
Next, identify and prioritize the essentials in terms of physical items and relationships. Focus on maintaining connections that bring positivity and joy into your life. Distance yourself from toxic or draining associations, as they can hinder your recovery process.
Simplify Your Routines
In the chaos that divorce often brings, simplifying your routines can be a godsend. Break down your daily tasks into manageable chunks, and try to establish new routines that suit your current lifestyle. That will give structure to your days and help reduce feelings of overwhelm.
Recover Financially After Divorce
Minimalism can also aid in your financial recovery after divorce. By living with less and focusing on essentials, you can save money and reduce expenses. That can help stabilize your financial situation and reduce the stress associated with monetary concerns.
Embrace New Experiences
Finally, use minimalism to open up room for new experiences. With fewer possessions and simpler routines, you’ll have more time and resources to explore interests, take up hobbies, or even travel. Remember, minimalism is not about deprivation; it’s about creating space for growth and fulfillment.
Conclusion
As we’ve journeyed through the concept and practicality of minimalism, we’ve seen how it can transform your life after divorce. Embracing a minimalist lifestyle can help you manage this major life transition effectively, allowing you to declutter your physical and emotional environment. By focusing on what truly matters, minimalism can simplify your life after divorce, offering you a fresh perspective, mental clarity, and a means to rebuild your life based on quality over quantity. It’s an invitation to live intentionally, focusing on essentials and letting go of excess. As you navigate your post-divorce journey, remember that minimalism is more than a lifestyle choice—it’s a tool for growth, healing, and rediscovery.
Author bio:
Cassie Rivers is a lifestyle and wellness writer collaborating with Heart Moving Manhattan. Known for her insightful content, she focuses on personal growth and intentional living. Cassie utilizes her journey with minimalism to inspire others facing life transitions.
Strategies for Coping with Loneliness After Divorce
Going through a divorce is undoubtedly one of the most challenging experiences a person can face, and it comes with a mix of feelings that can be overwhelming at times. Coping with loneliness after divorce is probably the most difficult one of all. Although it may seem like an insurmountable task, with the right strategies and a positive outlook, it is possible to rebuild a fulfilling life. To help you do this, we’ve consulted an experienced dating coach and gathered five effective strategies for dealing with the emotional aftermath of a divorce. Now let us help you move forward to a happier future.
Embracing the New Normal and Coping with Loneliness After Divorce
It’s important to acknowledge that feeling nostalgic and lonely after a divorce is completely normal. This sense of loss is a natural part of the healing process; accepting it is the first step toward moving on. Remember that you’re not alone in this journey and that countless others have successfully navigated the same path. Giving yourself the space and time you need to adjust to your new life circumstances is crucial.
However, coping with loneliness is sometimes easier said than done, so to help you, we’ve gathered five practical strategies for overcoming these feelings. Combined with your determination and strength, they’ll help you leave your divorce feeling more fulfilled than ever.
#1 Establish a Support System
Creating a strong network of friends and family is crucial when coping with loneliness after divorce. Surrounding yourself with positive, supportive people can significantly improve your emotional well-being.
Connect with Old Friends
Rekindling connections with old friends can provide you with a valuable source of support. These are the people who knew you before your marriage, and they can remind you of the person you were before the relationship. Reconnecting with old friends can also help you regain a sense of belonging and boost your self-esteem, ultimately helping you regain confidence after divorce.
Join Support Groups
Participating in support groups for divorcees can help you connect with others experiencing feelings of loneliness and loss. Sharing your experiences and offering mutual support can be incredibly therapeutic. Support groups also provide a safe space to express your emotions without fear of judgment, which can be essential to your healing process.
#2 Rediscover Your Hobbies and Interests
Focusing on hobbies and interests can be an effective way to cope with loneliness after divorce. Engaging in activities you enjoy will occupy your time and help you rediscover your passions and sense of identity.
Try New Activities
Now is also the perfect time to explore new hobbies and interests. Trying new activities can be a fun way to meet new people, and you might even discover a newfound passion in the process. Consider joining clubs or taking classes in areas that interest you. This can not only help fill your time with enjoyable activities but also allow you to make new friends with similar interests.
#3 Prioritize Self-Care
Caring for your physical and emotional well-being is essential during this challenging time. Prioritizing self-care and continuing your self-care trends can help alleviate loneliness and boost your overall mood.
Exercise Regularly
Engaging in regular exercise is not only beneficial for your physical health but can also improve your mental well-being. Exercise releases endorphins, which are natural mood boosters. Additionally, exercise can help you develop a sense of accomplishment and self-efficacy, further improving your emotional state.
However, coping with loneliness is sometimes easier said than done, so to help you, we’ve gathered five practical strategies for overcoming these feelings. Combined with your determination and strength, they’ll help you leave your divorce feeling more fulfilled than ever.
#1 Establish a Support System
Creating a strong network of friends and family is crucial when coping with loneliness after divorce. Surrounding yourself with positive, supportive people can significantly improve your emotional well-being.
Connect with Old Friends
Rekindling connections with old friends can provide you with a valuable source of support. These are the people who knew you before your marriage, and they can remind you of the person you were before the relationship. Reconnecting with old friends can also help you regain a sense of belonging and boost your self-esteem, ultimately helping you regain confidence after divorce.
Join Support Groups
Participating in support groups for divorcees can help you connect with others experiencing feelings of loneliness and loss. Sharing your experiences and offering mutual support can be incredibly therapeutic. Support groups also provide a safe space to express your emotions without fear of judgment, which can be essential to your healing process.
#2 Rediscover Your Hobbies and Interests
Focusing on hobbies and interests can be an effective way to cope with loneliness after divorce. Engaging in activities you enjoy will occupy your time and help you rediscover your passions and sense of identity.
Try New Activities
Now is also the perfect time to explore new hobbies and interests. Trying new activities can be a fun way to meet new people, and you might even discover a newfound passion in the process. Consider joining clubs or taking classes in areas that interest you. This can not only help fill your time with enjoyable activities but also allow you to make new friends with similar interests.
#3 Prioritize Self-Care
Caring for your physical and emotional well-being is essential during this challenging time. Prioritizing self-care and continuing your self-care trends can help alleviate loneliness and boost your overall mood.
Exercise Regularly
Engaging in regular exercise is not only beneficial for your physical health but can also improve your mental well-being. Exercise releases endorphins, which are natural mood boosters. Additionally, exercise can help you develop a sense of accomplishment and self-efficacy, further improving your emotional state.
Eat a Balanced Diet
Maintaining a balanced diet is essential for not only your physical but your mental health. Eating well can help combat feelings of depression and anxiety often associated with divorce. Ensure you consume plenty of fruits, vegetables, whole grains, lean proteins, and healthy fats. Staying hydrated and limiting your intake of processed foods, sugar, and alcohol can also improve mood and overall health.
Prioritize Sleep
Getting adequate sleep is crucial for your emotional and physical well-being. Make sure you establish a regular sleep schedule. On top of that, have a relaxing bedtime routine to help you wind down at the end of the day. Good sleep hygiene can significantly impact your mood and resilience during this challenging time.
#4 Reorganize Your Living Space
Removing reminders of your ex can be helpful in the healing process, and that’s just one of the benefits of decluttering after divorce. Creating a living space that reflects your individual style and preferences can provide a fresh start, making it easier to embrace your new life.
The Benefits of Using Storage
If you’re not ready to say goodbye to certain items that remind you of your marriage, a storage unit can be helpful. Using storage during divorce for these items can provide a temporary solution until you’re prepared to make a more permanent decision. This approach allows you to control your possessions while giving yourself the necessary space to heal and move on.
Personalize Your Space
Take the opportunity to personalize your living space to reflect your tastes and preferences better. This could involve redecorating, rearranging furniture, or adding new artwork that resonates with you. Creating a comfortable and nurturing environment can significantly affect your emotional well-being and be a positive foundation for your new life.
#5 Seek Professional Help
If you’re struggling with feelings of loneliness and depression, seeking the help of a professional therapist or counselor can be invaluable. After all, keeping your mental health in check during divorce is crucial. Mental health professionals can provide guidance and support tailored to your specific needs.
Individual Therapy
Individual therapy allows you to explore your emotions, thoughts, and behaviors in a safe, confidential setting. A licensed mental health professional can help you develop coping strategies, work on personal growth, and build resilience as you navigate the challenges of post-divorce life.
Group Therapy
Group therapy provides an opportunity to connect with others facing similar struggles. In a group setting, you can share experiences, gain new perspectives, and learn from the coping strategies of others. Group therapy can be especially helpful in combating feelings of isolation and loneliness after a divorce.
It’s Time to Rediscover Self-Love!
The journey of coping with loneliness after divorce is undeniably challenging, yet it presents a unique opportunity for personal growth and self-discovery. While the strategies mentioned in this article provide guidance and support, the most significant factor in overcoming loneliness is your determination and resilience. Embrace this transitional phase as a chance to rediscover your passions, forge new connections, and build a life that reflects your authentic self. As you navigate this process, remember that you are not alone and that countless others have successfully emerged stronger and more fulfilled on the other side of loneliness. In case you’re struggling more than you can handle, don’t be afraid to schedule your coaching session and get the expert help you need to move on. By focusing on your well-being and taking proactive steps, you’ll overcome the pain of divorce and lay the foundation for a brighter, more rewarding future.
Author’s bio: Jesus Lascano is a licensed family therapist with over two decades of experience. He loves writing blogs and sharing advice with those struggling to overcome mental health issues.
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The Biggest Benefits of Decluttering After Divorce
Dealing with a divorce might be one of the most challenging things you have ever faced. It isn’t going to be easy, but it’s one of those times and opportunities life gives you to come back stronger than ever before and to blossom into your newly discovered self. Nevertheless, don’t forget that allowing yourself to grieve is an integral part of healing. But, the crucial moment is the beginning of a new chapter in your life. This is why decluttering after divorce has numerous benefits. Therefore, in this article, globalguidetodivorce.com will share its numerous benefits to your healing journey.
Why decluttering after divorce is essential
Since dealing with a divorce is usually overwhelming and tiring, you might not feel capable of cleaning and decluttering your home and choose to postpone it. Nevertheless, even if it is painful, it needs to be done – like ripping off a bandage. If you choose to postpone it, it might hurt more after some time to stir up your feelings by going through the items that remind you of your former spouse. Therefore, decluttering as soon as possible is an essential part of the road to recovery after divorce. So, please don’t put it off; gather the strength to do it, and let the healing process begin.
Decluttering your home after a divorce can reduce stress and anxiety
There is nothing better than clearing your home to clear out your mind. Many feng shui experts state that individuals who don’t keep unnecessary things in their homes are more relaxed and less likely to feel stress and anxiety. Creating more space lets you breathe – is a sentence used quite often.
Many individuals opt for minimalistic decorations precisely for this reason. They don’t give out the feeling of a cluttered space that holds no room for anything else, and that can be suffocating when you are going through a sensitive period in your life. Besides, decluttering after divorce will ensure that you take the first step to let go of the past. And once you do, there will be no more room for stress or anxiety. You will see how liberating it can feel to let go. Therefore, out with the old and in with the new.
Caption: Decluttering after divorce means creating space for new and positive things in your life. The sooner you start decluttering, the sooner you start healing.
How to declutter
While you may not be eager to eliminate the memories that were a part of your life for so long, it is crucial for moving on. Throwing away anything that isn’t necessary or useful to you on your healing journey is a move for the bold, but it is fine if you are not ready for this step. There are many more alternatives. Go easy on yourself. It is entirely normal to still feel connected to specific items that remind you of pleasant times. However, if they trigger painful memories, it might be a good idea to hide them for a while. For example, preparing your items for storage is an excellent step forward. You can get your items ready to be taken away, and you won’t have to look at them and be reminded of your past life. Once you are healed, you may feel differently about them and do the things you didn’t have the strength to do before.
Redecorating can bring a sense of a fresh new start
Getting creative when it comes to redecorating and creating a new space in your life can be incredibly healing. According to some psychology experts, eliminating large pieces of furniture can even be therapeutic. It would be an excellent idea to redecorate your home entirely according to your taste. However, this isn’t always practical since divorces can get pretty expensive, and you may not have the necessary funds to do so. Nevertheless, changing even the smallest of details means that you are taking positive action in life. Getting something new that is just for you can influence you to think positively. Maybe now you can buy that thing you always wanted but knew your spouse would hate.
Caption: Redecorating your entire home has numerous positive effects on your nervous system that will help you get through a tough time.
Making the big change
The final cause of decluttering and redecorating is to make things feel different and fresh. This might mean you will have to eliminate everything from your past life. It’s not unusual for people to move to another state after divorce. But before you start a new chapter, ensure you are free from any attachment to things or people. Letting go of the things you were once attached to is essential to healing your broken heart, especially if you find that they often make you sad or lonely. Please do it for your future self, who will be happy and full of life after you heal.
Caption: It’s not unusual for many people to decide to move after a divorce. A new city gives numerous opportunities for a fresh start.
Final words
Letting go of the past is usually painful and awakens many negative feelings like anger, sadness, anxiety, or even depression. However challenging it may look now, try to think about what lies ahead. Once you get through this, you will experience change and growth. There is much wisdom in pain, so allow yourself to grieve. After your tears dry, it’s time to take action. After reading this article, you have seen the many benefits of decluttering after divorce. So, get some boxes and start making space for the good things life will inevitably bring your way.
Meta Description: If you are having difficulties moving on after a divorce, you may want to see the biggest benefits of decluttering after divorce.
Author’s bio: Angie Johnson is a writer who takes a keen interest in psychology and whose articles are primarily dedicated to self-help topics. She is happily divorced and lives in Massachusetts with her daughter Julie and their golden retriever Sparky.
Improv Acting Saved My Life
Two scary characters peered into our store windows. Instead of locking the doors right away, we just hoped they would move on. Big mistake. These bald men were covered with tattoos beginning at the top of their heads. They entered our store. I did not hear Babs whisper “Run out the back door.” She sprinted out the front to the shop next door.
After spotting the outline of a gun in one of the thug’s pockets, with his hand on it, I decided to stay put – more afraid of being shot in the back. After a few minutes of the pair walking around the store, I wondered why the police had not yet arrived. Dead quiet with no sirens. They looked high on meth and were missing some teeth in spite of being in their early thirties.
They went over to where gold jewellery was hanging on the wall. I remained calm and decided improv acting could be my ticket to safety. I took on the role of the airhead blonde, clueless and nonthreatening. One fingered the chains and slipped some in his pocket. I suggested he examine them and gently retrieved them and held them up.
“There, see what I mean” I sang out as I hung them back on the hook. “They are tin – painted gold, very cheap.” “Oh” the robber replied, “What about this one?” the confused man asked. I answered “Notice it is slightly curved like a tin can. Why would you want these?” I had the dumbest look on my face pretending I thought they were shoppers.
At this point, they forgot about grabbing the cash and focused on why they would want tacky stuff. Seems like they were thinking about how they would not get much money for them. Since these guys are not the sharpest tools in the box, I asked. “Wouldn’t you rather have the really good jewellery from the shop around the corner?” No shop was really there.
Of course, the only answer was “Yes” for these connoisseurs of quality. I opened the door and told them “I have to point it out to you from the sidewalk so you go the right way. You make a turn (gesturing right) Come on; I have to show you.”
The greedy, gullible men followed and went outside as I kept pointing. As they looked in that direction, I quickly slipped inside and shut the door. They rattled the locked door of the store next door. My co-worker ran in from the back door. Babs had called 911 who refused to help since she had gotten out of the store. They claimed she was not in danger. Did not matter to them that I was still there. Ludicrous.
Babs proceeded to call the police and explained about the attempted robbery and the perpetrators were still in the vicinity of our downtown store. We closed the store and in the half hour we were still there, the police never arrived.
Doing imrov acting saved me from possibly getting shot. The dumb blonde act helped the robbers to relax and not be trigger happy. I remained calm while acting. As I as getting in my car, I started shaking after this adventure.
Guide for Moving to a New State After a Divorce
After a divorce, you may be looking to turn a new leaf and start afresh in a completely different location. But before you pin a map to the wall and throw a dart at it to find your new spot, there are a few things – and people – you need to take into consideration. So let’s go over four instances where planning ahead will help you make the right decision:
If You’re Looking for a New Place to Live
Costs of living vary greatly from state to state and even from city to city, so take that into consideration before you settle on a place to live and consider what you’ll be able to afford, taking into account spousal support, child custody, and other expenses. And before you even look at your options, if you and your ex-spouse have children together, discuss how you’ll share custody once you two live further apart, and make sure you have your co-parent’s consent in writing before you take off to a different state. Look at the available amenities in the neighborhoods you are considering moving into, and make sure they are safe and suitable for your children.
If You’re Ready to Relocate
Before you book your movers to take you to your new home, make sure your divorce is completely finalized and take inventory of what you have, what you plan on taking with you, and what you want to get rid of. When you have shared assets with your ex-spouse, it’s best to discuss together how you’re planning on dividing those and come to an amicable agreement. Also, remember that if you’re the one moving away, it will cost you less money to transport fewer items across states than a complete household move would. Once you’ve decided on what you’re keeping, look for movers in your area and get at least three quotes in writing before choosing a company. And don’t forget to read reviews online to avoid scam artists and unreliable people.
If You’re Starting a Business
If you’re planning on launching a business after you relocate, make sure you check the legal requirements for business ownership in your new state in order to stay compliant and avoid penalties. Create a plan describing your company, detail how you’re planning on selling your products or services, explain how your business will be structured, include what funding you’ll need to get your startup off the ground, and come up with some financial projections to attract possible investors. And if you’re looking to find partners for your new venture, think about joining the local chamber of commerce, or renting a coworking space where you’ll get to mingle with other solopreneurs and make new friends in your new city.
If You Need to Find a New Doctor
Relocating to a different state means you’ll need to find new doctors, such as a dentist and a general practitioner, to help you manage your health and to treat you in case of illness or injury. If you haven’t found your bearings in your new place yet, you can find an online doctor and get an appointment for a remote consultation. This is an easy, safe, convenient, and private way to seek treatment if you’re not feeling well, or if you’re just in need of a checkup. You’ll be able to book a same-day appointment from anywhere, and if you need medication, your prescription will be sent to the pharmacy of your choice for added convenience.
Making a complete life change after a divorce by relocating to a different state may help you in your emotional recovery. But before you embark on your next adventure, make sure you do your research. And don’t leave any loose ends that could cause you and your ex-spouse potential issues later.
Looking for advice on dating, relationships, or divorce? At globalguidetodivorce.com, you’ll find tips on co-parenting, legal issues, and much, much more.
Author is Suzie Wilson ⎸info@happierhome.net ⎸Happier Home
Continuing Self-Care Trends in the New Normal
Signs of the new normal are emerging as newly-vaccinated Americans venture out of their homes, and it’s not the raucous “Roaring 20s” everyone predicted. Rather than racing to return to normal, Time magazine notes that people are holding onto the habits and routines they built during 2020-21. That’s not to say we aren’t eager to see old friends and hug relatives. However, people are rethinking what it means to look and feel their best in a post-pandemic world. Wendi’s Tips shares four trends shaping the way we present ourselves.
Comfort Over Fashion
Staying home more in the past meant the privilege of working in pajamas and slippers. Now, people are questioning why “real clothes” have to be so uncomfortable and redefining the meaning of professional attire.
For fashion, that means more athleisure and dressed-up loungewear. Think joggers in trendy prints and durable leggings that are just at home in the grocery store as they are in the gym. Office dress codes are relaxing, too, with workers opting for pared-down professional wardrobes composed of comfortable basics. If you’re dreading the day you have to give up your “work sweatpants,” tap into comfort-first workwear trends like loose-fitting trousers and slacks for your return to the office.
Back-to-Basics Skincare
Women are abandoning heavy makeup as they shift beauty spending to skincare. If you’re one of the many people affected by maskne, you’ve probably started paying more attention to skincare during the pandemic yourself.
There’s a dizzying array of skincare products out there. Where do you start if all you’ve ever used is moisturizer and SPF? There’s no one-size-fits-all answer to skincare because everyone’s skin is different. However, if you’re new to skincare regimens, Elle magazine lists a few kits designed for your skin type, which is a great place to start. When you want to take your look up a notch, opt for a tinted moisturizer or a glow kit instead of foundation. These lightweight alternatives are less likely to clog pores. This is also the perfect time to experiment with fun eye makeup looks.
Returning to Our Roots
Many people looked forward to their first salon haircut during the new normal. But while some people are going bold with their new look, others are embracing their roots by growing out their hair, keeping their grays, and letting their natural curls shine. In fact, L’OFFICIEL notes that the past year has seen a surge in products designed to enhance hair health. This includes shampoos and conditioners designed for your hair type, whether you want to clarify, hydrate, repair, thicken, define, or grow.
If you do go for a dramatic new look, donate your tresses to a good cause. Locks of Love, Children with Hair Loss, and Wigs for Kids are among the leading organizations that accept hair donations.
Embracing New Ventures
Feeling your best in 2022 isn’t just about the way you look. The toll that the pandemic took on so many lives seems to have intensified interest in not just self-care but nursing itself. Improving oneself may include career goals, particularly going back to school to get a degree in business. Whether it’s taking courses online or in person, many programs are set to maximize convenience and thoroughness, and some are extremely timely. Going this route provides you with the latest information and technology, preparing you to advance your career or take it another direction.
You may also be looking at changing jobs or starting a new business. If it’s the latter, be sure to check off a few essential boxes right away. This includes getting a business plan together, creating a home office if you plan to work from home, and lining up all the legal requirements. It’s important to determine what type of business you plan to operate by choosing which type to form as, whether it’s a self-proprietorship, a partnership, or an LLC. Fortunately, you can outsource the process with the help of an online formation service, which is quick and affordable.
People are also asking how they can maintain healthy habits now that responsibilities have returned to normal. Many of us have spent more time working on ourselves, getting active, appreciating nature, and utilizing naturopathic medicine and massage therapies during the pandemic, and we may be reluctant to relinquish that self-care time.
For the most part, schedules have shifted to what they used to be, but it’s still possible to make time for wellness. The key is scheduling it. Build self-care, fitness, and other healthy routines into your schedule the same way you would a business meeting to ensure wellness is given the priority it deserves. A huge part of this is embracing relationship changes as well, so identify the toxic people or situations in your life and call on dating coach Wendi Schuller to help you navigate your options.
Life looks much different now after the pandemic — and that’s not necessarily a bad thing. The past couple of years led us to rethink priorities, from how we spend time to how we present ourselves to the world. As we step out in 2022, it might not be back to the old normal. However, the new normal we’re building takes a more holistic view of what it means to be well.
Author is Chelsea Lamb clamb@businesspop.net She has spent the last eight years honing her tech skills and is the resident tech specialist and co-founder of BusinessPop.net. Her goal is to demystify some of the technical aspects of business ownership and entrepreneurship
Dating coach Wendi Schuller of Wendi’s Tips draws upon her knowledge as a nurse, neuro-linguistic programmer (NLP), and hypnotherapist to provide a blueprint to guide people through divorce and beyond. Contact Wendi today to schedule your coaching session, or to find out more! wendischuller@hotmail.com
Grief May Surprise You After Divorce Or A Break Up
One may think they are over their relationship or got past divorce and later feel the loss. Grief can sneak up on you and catch you by surprise. It is like swimming in calm waters and a big wave comes up and slaps you hard. It takes time to mourn a marriage or love interest. One day you are fine and the next in tears. It can be lonely at first. Grief comes in stages and one can move back and forth between them.
Denial
This is avoiding the situation. Pretending that things are not happening. Not dealing with reality, such as thinking if you do not hire an attorney, then the divorce will not happen. Or he/she will come to their senses and stay with you. It is delusional thinking. Denial may be manifested as carrying on as usual with the same routines as if nothing is happening.
Anger
This is when a person realizes denial is not stopping the divorce or a break up. The other person is firm, “It is over.” They have collected any personal belongings at your place and have dropped off yours. In a divorce situation, it is no longer possible to deny the divorce is happening. Papers are served. The other party’s attorney has contacted you or perhaps a court date has been set. One is furious that their life is in such an upheaval. Anger can have one reacting instead of responding. Reacting is impulsive and not thinking with a clear head.
Anger can lead to revenge – such as using the children as weapons. Too often in the news, a parent kills the children in a divorce situation to get back at the other one. It can be trashing a spouse’s reputation on social media.
Bargaining
It is hoping that if you change your behavior then the divorce or break up will be stopped. One may try and make a deal with the other person. “I can change. I won’t do (whatever annoyed them) anymore.” Or with a marriage, “I will agree to a divorce if we go to a weekend retreat to try and patch up our relationship.”
Being in the bargaining stage is acknowledging the situation which is not done in the denial stage. It is moving along in the grief process. It is wishing for a miracle to happen.
Depression
Depression in grief is not the same as the chronic clinical one. Rather, it is numbness. Feeling as if stumbling around in slow motion. There may be brain fog or lethargy. The body is worn out from having the strong surge of emotions from earlier in the divorce process. These ranged from shock, panic to despair. It can be a time to take a pause and nurture yourself. The stress hormones, such as cortisol, have flooded one’s body. This quieter time can be a way to chill out and regroup.
Acceptance
This last stage might come during the proceedings or a bit later. One has come to terms with what happened – no longer being married. When it is a break up, finally realizing that person is no longer in your life. One acknowledges the loss and begins to look ahead to the future. A new chapter is opening in life which can include changing careers or relocation. Taking up new challenges and hobbies. It is a time of exploration – whether it is a self-assessment or travel to enticing destinations. Time to start a new chapter in your life. Many of us change careers.
This is based on my article published in the Divorce Magazine out of Toronto.
Why Playfulness Is Important
Playfulness is a way to reduce stress and get through the minutia and tasks required during stressful times, such as divorce. Besides helping life to be more bearable when juggling proceedings, children and a job, a sense of playfulness lowers anxiety. Being in a calmer state is beneficial for making those crucial decisions regarding splitting assets and so forth.
There are various studies on the benefits of playfulness in getting through adversity (such as divorce) and contributing to longevity. Dr Proyer from the University of Zurich has done much research on adult playfulness and states these individuals cope better with stress and being able to adapt to situations. One study found that playfulness increased one’s well-being and resilience. When I was a nurse on a busy trauma unit, most of us were burned out with patients hovering between life and death. The two playful nurses who wadded up paper to bat around like a ball, were not. In-between patient codes and procedures, these fellows made up games and were the most relaxed nurses on the unit.
Professor Barret at University of Illinois also found that playful folks are better able to handle stress. These individuals perceived their stress levels to be lower, than the less playful subjects in the study. When people are playful, they have better strategies to deal with stress according to her research. Mistakes are more likely to be viewed as learning opportunities rather than as blunders.
Consider the advantages to having a playful outlook during divorce. One is better able to utilize coping strategies during this stressful time and less likely to fall apart. A person can take a pause from proceedings and be engrossed in pleasurable activities. Playing lets out some steam and enables one to see the humorous side of life. Children benefit by being around laughter and spontaneity instead of glum parents.
Playfulness improves cognitive, emotional and social functioning as was reported In the American Journal of Play, Summer 2011 edition. Good mental (cognitive) functioning is necessary when going through finances and deciding whether to sell the marital home or buy out one’s spouse during divorce. Other studies found that playful folks draw people to them. They are open, fun to be around, engaging and positive. Being able to connect with others and have a network of support enables one to move through the craziness of divorce. Being bitter and negative post-divorce can push people away.
An example of the longevity benefits of playfulness are the elderly Chinese in Beijing. These senior citizens were dancing to the music from their boom boxes, doing Tai Chi, playing board games, plus more. They laughed, indulged in badminton and chatted. They clearly enjoyed their time together and were extremely active physically and mentally. There were no wheelchairs or walkers in that group. This contrasts to a divorced woman I knew in the States, who was anything but playful and died of a heart attack.
I was at Disneyland with my sons when I decided to initiate divorce. I called family and friends between rides on Snow White, Mr. Toad’s Wild Adventure and Indiana Jones. I was forced to be playful in this atmosphere and that started my divorce in a much more relaxed way. Figuring out finances was less stressful when standing in line for The Haunted Mansion. My sons were relieved that divorce was about to happen. Disneyland set the tone for keeping playfulness throughout my divorce.
There are ways to be more light-hearted during proceedings. Plan at least one weekly get-together with pals to vent or catch up on news. Having support helps to lighten your burden. Spend time in nature which is calming, even if in a small leafy city square. My sons and I watched comedies and laughed a lot. Go to a fair and act like a kid. Get out of town to spend a day walking along the beach and enjoying the amusements on the boardwalk. My mother took my sons and I on a river cruise during divorce, which was approved by both of our attorneys. That took our minds off the divorce and into the play mode. Think of how to inject some fun into your agenda on a regular basis, and divorce will go a bit smoother.
My article was originally printed in DivorceForce www.divorceforce.com/
Tips For Learning The Skill Of Small Talk -The Way To Connect With Others
Life’s upheavals bring change which may necessitate finding a new set of friends. One can have just gotten through a divorce or relocated for a job. Small talk is the way to establishing connections with others. You may feel like a nine-year old kid again on the first day at a new school.
It can be challenging to make small talk. Individuals have avoided parties and gatherings because the thought of engaging in this is scary. Small talk is an important skill – whether on the social scene or in networking. It enables one to make crucial contacts in their field. Small talk is necessary to establish a relationship which can result in a sale or a regular client.
Small talk starts out on the surface. You are both fishing around initially to discover a common link – an interest or activity. It might be the stage of life you are currently in – getting a divorce, or being parents to a toddler, etc. When the common link is found, then a portal opens to a deeper place of communication. You took the plunge and are now having a fulfilling conversation.
There are ways to make small talk less painful and more spontaneous. Attend an event. You have an instant topic of conversation – the concert, rugby match, school play or whatever it is. A co-worker who loathes small talk joined several MeetUp.com groups. The initial conversations are focused on the specific purpose of the group (hiking, books, travel). She can handle talking about the subject and picking up tips from the other members.
At a party, a good ice breaker is to ask how a person knows the hosts. You may find out that you both have things in common. Other sure topics to get things started, is to inquire about pets/children/grandchildren/holidays.
I comment on a person’s unique jewellery or article of clothing. This often leads to “I bought it in India” and we go on from there. Even something as banal as the weather can start an involved conversation on sports. I talk about how weather impacts my running and they may talk about skiing.
An acquaintance feels small talk can be superficial. She does not like it when strangers at a gathering, ask her questions. She feels this is an invasion of her privacy. People may ask questions to loosen your tongue. These individuals are merely trying learn a little bit about Rose. If she would volunteer information first, then it would not seem like an interrogation. Rose could turn the table around and ask them questions, thus not feeling on the spot. People have different levels of what they consider is private. An introvert like Rose, finds it more challenging to open up about their life.
In this digital world, small talk seems to have disappeared. Texting gets right to the point, by-passing the nuances which are picked up when being face-to-face. When in person, if one skips small talk and communicates in the digital style, it would be perceived as too abrupt.
Small talk takes practice, like other things in life. One does not pick up a violin and play it like a virtuoso on the first try. Nor be proficient at getting goals when learning football. Start in little increments. Talk to a person standing in the queue at the grocers. Chat with a sales clerk. Work up to more challenging encounters, such as at a wedding reception or Bar Mitzva celebration. I have made close, life-long friends by starting with small talk.
I am also a dating consultant and release weekly podcasts. datingcoach.coach
Why Playfulness Is Important
Playfulness is a way to reduce stress and get through the minutia and tasks required during stressful times such as divorce. Besides helping life to be more bearable when juggling proceedings, children and a job, a sense of playfulness lowers anxiety. Being in a calmer state is beneficial for making those crucial decisions regarding splitting assets and so forth.
There are various studies on the benefits of playfulness in getting through adversity (such as divorce) and contributing to longevity. Dr Proyer from the University of Zurich has done much research on adult playfulness and states these individuals cope better with stress and being able to adapt to situations. One study found that playfulness increased one’s well-being and resilience. When I was a nurse on a busy trauma unit, most of us were burned out with patients hovering between life and death. The two playful nurses who wadded up paper to bat around like a ball, were not. In-between patient codes and procedures, these fellows made up games and were the most relaxed nurses on the unit.
Professor Barret at University of Illinois also found that playful folks are better able to handle stress. These individuals perceived their stress levels to be lower, than the less playful subjects in the study. When people are playful, they have better strategies to deal with stress according to her research. Mistakes are more likely to be viewed as learning opportunities rather than as blunders.
Consider the advantages to having a playful outlook during divorce. One is better able to utilize coping strategies during this stressful time and less likely to fall apart. A person can take a pause from proceedings and be engrossed in pleasurable activities. Playing lets out some steam and enables one to see the humorous side of life. Children benefit by being around laughter and spontaneity instead of glum parents.
Playfulness improves cognitive, emotional and social functioning as was reported In the American Journal of Play, Summer 2011 edition. Good mental (cognitive) functioning is necessary when going through finances and deciding whether to sell the marital home or buy out one’s spouse during divorce. Other studies found that playful folks draw people to them. They are open, fun to be around, engaging and positive. Being able to connect with others and have a network of support enables one to move through the craziness of divorce. Being bitter and negative post-divorce can push people away.
An example of the longevity benefits of playfulness are the elderly Chinese in Beijing. These senior citizens were dancing to the music from their boom boxes, doing Tai Chi, playing board games, plus more. They laughed, indulged in badminton and chatted. They clearly enjoyed their time together and were extremely active physically and mentally. There were no wheelchairs or walkers in that group. This contrasts to a divorced woman I knew in the States, who was anything but playful and died of a heart attack.
I was at Disneyland with my sons when I decided to initiate divorce. I called family and friends between rides on Snow White, Mr. Toad’s Wild Adventure and Indiana Jones. I was forced to be playful in this atmosphere and that started my divorce in a much more relaxed way. Figuring out finances was less stressful when standing in line for The Haunted Mansion. My sons were relieved that divorce was about to happen. Disneyland set the tone for keeping playfulness throughout my divorce.
There are ways to be more light-hearted during proceedings. Plan at least one weekly get-together with pals to vent or catch up on news. Having support helps to lighten your burden. Spend time in nature which is calming, even if in a small leafy city square. My sons and I watched comedies and laughed a lot. Go to a fair and act like a kid. Get out of town to spend a day walking along the beach and enjoying the amusements on the boardwalk. My mother took my sons and I on a river cruise during divorce, which was approved by both of our attorneys. That took our minds off the divorce and into the play mode. Think of how to inject some fun into your agenda on a regular basis, and divorce will go a bit smoother.
My article was originally printed in DivorceForce https://www.divorceforce.com/ Affected by Divorce? Join DivorceForce, the online community committed to empowering those affected by divorce. Many helpful articles for those facing divorce. @divorceforce (Twitter)
Dealing with Past Regrets
It is easy to fall into the trap of living in regrets. One may regret the distribution of assets in divorce. Another cannot seem to get through a week without saying, “If only I had…” My two sons are pragmatic, and calmly state, “Well that’s in the past – get over it!” when I rue that I did not buy a lifetime pass to United’s Red Carpet Lounge. I did not realize that it was a one-time opportunity, and I had put it off. When asking people about any regrets, the overwhelming answer was what that they regret what they did not do, rather than what they did. It was actions or possibilities not taken, not what they did or had said. Lucille Ball of “I Love Lucy” stated, “I’d rather regret the things I’ve done than regret the things that I haven’t done.”
I used to be a trauma nurse in a busy surgical intensive care unit. Some patients who felt death was knocking on the door were willing to talk about their past. All were calm and ready to go, but had a common theme about their lives. The universal comment was letting opportunities pass them by or being too afraid to take chances. It was not about what they had done (with the exception of working too many hours and missing out on family life), but instead what they hadn’t done. That regret shaped my attitude of spending as much time possible with my sons. A regret can be a wake-up call that something needs to be changed. It can be a positive stimulus to make an adjustment in your life, such as embarking on a new career path that holds more meaning and passion for you. If you are regretting some life choices, then let this propel you in a new direction. My mother’s only regrets on her deathbed were not getting to Provence, and procrastinating on taking a desired tour to Turkey. That regret pushed me into taking my sons to far flung places so I would not have her same disappointment down the road. I am not putting off travel, and instead am ticking off places from my Bucket List. – See more at: www.divorcemag.com/blog/regrets-in-divorce-and-life#sthash.OxeBUzrp.dpuf
Get Rid of Guilt in Divorce and Life
We may live in guilt for what we did or did not do while still married. We might think we could have tried harder to salvage the marriage or feel guilt over not putting it out of its misery earlier. Let the feeling of guilt be a wakeup call that something needs to be changed and use it as an indicator to embark on another course of action. One cannot go back into the past like Dr Who, so being stuck in guilt is a blockade to having a fulfilling life now.
One young man is an example of this and feels guilty that he did not try harder and undergo marital counselling before calling it quits. Guilt is holding him back from committing to his new partner. On a positive note, guilt is pushing him into having a strong relationship with his former spouse as a co-parent. His two children are reaping the benefits of having two parents on the same team.
Sometimes guilt is dumped upon someone although it is their choice whether or not to accept it. Several women said their husbands married them mainly for their looks. After a baby or two, they gained weight and a few wrinkles. At first they felt guilty when spouses insinuated that they were breaking a deal (to look good). After their divorces, they are comfortable with their bodies and increased their self-esteem.
During my hypnotherapy training, our New Age instructor said that the Catholics got it right regarding guilt. They make mistakes (sins), report them (confess) and do reparations (say a Hail Mary or two). They wipe the slate clean and go on their way. He challenged us to come up with our own rituals to banish guilt. First acknowledge its presence and determine what it is telling us. Perhaps we are chronically snapping at the kids or have been ignoring elderly family members. Make amends. Apologize to the youngsters and explain that you are feeling overwhelmed. Then add some fun activities into your schedule with them. Visit or at least call relatives who may be feeling left out of your busy life.
Whatever is troubling you, face it, deal with it and move on. The secret is not to wallow in guilt but view it as a messenger to approach life or people in a different way. Someone may be punishing themselves over guilt when other people did not feel that they were mistreated at all. We can be hard on ourselves and our worst enemy. One friend felt guilty that she did not spend more time with her mother before her death from breast cancer. She was caught up in her wedding plans which her mother understood, and was fine with the situation. My friend was able to let go of this guilt by becoming a mostly stay-at-home mum, cherishing family togetherness.
If you have chronic guilt, consider discussing this with someone. When I am on a guilt trip, my friends set me straight and I readjust my outlook. Guilt keeps one partly living in the past, so apologize, make extra donations to charity, anything to release guilt and move on.
Originally published in The Divorce Magazine thedivorcemagazine.co.uk