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Global Guide to Divorce

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Making Long-Distance Custody Arrangements Work After Divorce

Long-Distance Custody Arrangements

Long-distance custody arrangements, often a consequence of divorce or separation, have become increasingly common in today’s society. These arrangements involve parents living in different locations, making co-parenting more challenging. While the distance may pose significant hurdles, it’s essential to prioritize the well-being of the children involved. In this article, we will explore the various aspects of this type of custody, including its impact on children, strategies to navigate these arrangements, and the importance of cooperation between co-parents.

Understanding long-distance custody

There are plenty of things one must learn after a divorce, and custody arrangement is one of them. Long-distance custody arrangements occur when parents live a considerable distance apart from each other, making it difficult to maintain a traditional joint custody arrangement. Several factors can contribute to these situations, such as job relocations, family relocations, or personal preferences. Legal considerations, including court decisions and custody agreements, also significantly define these arrangements.

The impact on children

Children caught in these arrangements may experience various emotional and psychological effects. So, the separation from one parent can be emotionally challenging, and both parents must work together to minimize these impacts. Here are some key aspects of how this type of custody can affect children:

The separation from one parent can be emotionally challenging

  1. Emotional and Psychological Effects: Children may experience feelings of loss, confusion, and sadness due to the physical separation from one of their parents. These emotions can have long-lasting effects on their well-being if not addressed appropriately.
  2. Maintaining Stability and Routine: Consistency and routine are essential for children’s development and emotional stability. These custody arrangements can disrupt these routines, so parents must collaborate and create a stable environment for their children.
  3. Communication and Relationships: Maintaining healthy relationships with both parents is vital for a child’s emotional growth. Moreover, this type of custody requires effective communication between co-parents to ensure the child can maintain meaningful connections with both parents.

Co-parenting strategies for success

Successful long-distance co-parenting requires dedication and a commitment to putting the child’s needs first. Here are some strategies to make it work:

  1. Building a Cooperative Relationship: Maintain a positive attitude toward co-parenting and focus on collaboration rather than competition. The child’s well-being should always be the shared goal.
  2. Consistency and Reliability: Stick to schedules and commitments, and be dependable for your child. Reliability builds trust and provides stability for the child.
  3. Utilizing Technology: Co-parenting apps and online tools facilitate communication and scheduling. These tools can help streamline logistics and reduce misunderstandings.

Things to consider when moving as a single-parent

Moving as a single parent requires thoughtful planning to ensure a smooth transition for you and your children. Therefore, take a look at some essential considerations:

After moving, make sure to choose a safe and supportive environment

  1. Financial planning: Create a budget accounting for moving expenses, housing, and unforeseen costs. Also, you should maintain a financial cushion for unexpected expenses.
  2. Housing and location: Research neighborhoods, schools, and essential services in the new area. If possible, choose a safe and supportive environment, considering proximity to work and schools.
  3. Child custody and legal considerations: Review custody agreements with an attorney if applicable, ensuring compliance with legal requirements and clear visitation arrangements.
  4. Packing and organization: Start packing early, label boxes, and keep essentials accessible. On websites like, you can find plenty of tips to ease your preparation process.  Also, you can involve your children in the packing process if they are old enough.
  5. Logistics and transportation: Plan logistics carefully, whether driving or flying. Moreover, you should research airline policies for children and pets if flying.

After the move

Once you’re ready to settle in your new home, here are additional things you should have in mind:

  1. Childcare and schools: Investigate childcare and school options in the new location. Also, you should ensure they meet your children’s needs and gather the required enrollment documents.
  2. Support system: Assess the availability of a support network, which may include family, friends, or community resources that offer assistance and emotional support.
  3. Emotional support: Communicate openly with your children about the move and validate their feelings. Seek professional support if needed.
  4. Healthcare and records: Transfer medical records to a new healthcare provider if necessary. Find local healthcare facilities and providers.
  5. Settling in: Prioritize creating stability and routine after arriving. Unpack gradually, establish routines, and explore the new community together.

Moving as a single parent can be challenging. Still, with careful planning, support, and open communication with your children, you can successfully navigate the transition and create a positive environment in your new home.

Navigating These custody arrangements

Navigating these arrangements can be challenging, but parents can create a positive and nurturing environment for their children with the right strategies and mindset. Here’s how:

Communicate openly with your children about the move and validate their feelings

  1. The Role of a Parenting Plan: A well-structured parenting plan is the foundation of a successful arrangement. It should outline visitation schedules, holidays, special occasions, and communication guidelines. Additionally, the plan should be comprehensive yet flexible to accommodate changes in circumstances.
  2. Effective Communication: Open and honest communication between co-parents is key to making this type of custody work. Discuss concerns, share updates about your child’s life, and make an effort to keep each other informed about important matters.
  3. Visitation Schedules and Logistics: Plan visits and vacations well in advance to ensure both parents have quality time with their children. Furthermore, you should address transportation and financial arrangements to avoid disputes and confusion.
  4. Addressing Conflicts and Disputes: Conflicts are bound to arise in any co-parenting situation, but it’s essential to handle them amicably. Consider mediation or legal intervention when necessary, but always prioritize the child’s best interests.

Legal considerations and resources

Navigating these arrangements may require legal guidance and support. Here are some legal considerations and resources:

  1. Seeking Legal Advice: Consult with an attorney experienced in family law to understand your rights and responsibilities. They can help you navigate the legal aspects and modify custody arrangements.
  2. Modifying Custody Arrangements: Life circumstances change, and custody arrangements may need adjustment. If either parent moves, changes jobs, or faces other significant life changes, consider seeking a modification of the custody order.
  3. Support Networks and Resources: Support networks and resources are available for long-distance co-parents. These can include counseling services for children and parents, support groups, and online forums where parents share their experiences and advice.


Making long-distance custody arrangements work after divorce requires effort, communication, and a shared commitment to the child’s well-being. While challenging, parents can create a nurturing and supportive environment for their children, even when living miles apart. By understanding the impact on children, developing effective co-parenting strategies, and seeking legal guidance, parents can navigate these arrangements successfully, ensuring their child’s happiness and stability remain top priorities.


How to Minimize the Impact of Divorce on Kids

Navigating the tumultuous waters of divorce is a task no parent relishes, particularly when considering its emotional and psychological impacts on the most innocent parties involved – the children. Just as crucial as breaking the news to friends and family about your divorce is learning how to minimize the impact of divorce on kids. This blog post aims to shed light on practical strategies for mitigating the potential distress and upheaval during this challenging time. From understanding your child’s perspective, fostering open communication, and maintaining stability to effectively co-parenting, we’ll explore actionable steps to ensure your children’s well-being throughout this transition.

Understanding the Child’s Perspective

Successfully navigating the rough terrain of divorce means putting ourselves in our children’s shoes and comprehending their perspective. A divorce is not only a significant shift in the parents’ lives but is equally, if not more, earth-shattering for the kids. They may experience a whirlwind of emotions – confusion, guilt, anger, and sadness.

Understanding these feelings can equip you to offer your child much-needed support. Encourage them to express their thoughts and emotions. Assure them it’s okay to feel upset and their feelings are completely valid. It’s crucial to clarify that the divorce is not their fault, a point often overlooked amidst the turmoil.

During this process, remember the importance of co-parenting with compassion. The shared responsibility of raising your child can greatly help minimize the turmoil. Demonstrating unity in parental love, even in separation, you reaffirm your child’s security and reduce the impact of divorce on kids.

Lastly, avoid speaking negatively about your ex-partner in front of the child. It’s essential to keep adult issues separate from the child’s world as they bond with both parents. Emphasize that even though their living arrangements might change, the love both parents have for them remains unchanged. This approach can help children adapt more easily to the new family dynamics.

Fostering Open and Honest Communication

Maintaining an open and honest dialogue with your children throughout the divorce process is key to helping them adjust to the new family dynamics. By allowing space for them to voice their feelings, concerns, and questions, you can help dispel fears and misconceptions.

Begin by having a clear, age-appropriate conversation about the divorce. Children may not grasp the complexities of marital discord, but they can understand simple expressions of the situation. For younger children, you might say, “Mom and Dad have decided to live in separate houses, but we both still love you very much.” You can provide more context for older kids, always stressing that the decision to separate was between the parents and has nothing to do with them.

When faced with challenging questions or emotional responses, remain calm and patient. Respond with reassurance, empathy, and honesty. If there are uncertainties about the future, it’s okay to admit that you don’t have all the answers yet.

Above all, keep the lines of communication open even after the divorce is finalized. Regularly check in with your child’s feelings and experiences. This ongoing dialogue can provide comfort and help minimize the impact of divorce on kids. They should know they can come to you with their concerns anytime.

Ensuring Stability and Routine

Amid the many changes that divorce brings, maintaining some sense of normality can provide a comforting sense of stability for children. Regular routines help create a predictable world for children, which is particularly valuable in times of upheaval.

One way to achieve this is by keeping routines similar in both households. This consistency might relate to mealtimes, bedtime rituals, homework schedules, and leisure activities. This approach not only provides stability but also eases the transition between homes.

However, divorce also presents an opportunity to create new routines. Perhaps it’s a new tradition of a weekly movie night or a special weekend outing. These new rituals can help to create a welcoming atmosphere, making settling into a new home easier for your child.

It’s also important to keep other aspects of their life unchanged. If feasible, avoid moving homes or changing schools immediately after the divorce. Staying in a familiar environment can help minimize the impact of divorce on kids.

Consistency doesn’t mean rigidity. Flexibility is essential, especially when it comes to adjusting to life post-divorce. But having a basic structure can go a long way in giving children a sense of security and normality during this period of change.

How to Minimize the Impact of Divorce on Kids: Co-Parenting Effectively

Co-parenting after a divorce can be a significant challenge, but effectively doing it is a powerful way to minimize the impact of divorce on kids. It involves both parents taking an active, cooperative role in their children’s lives, despite the dissolution of their marital relationship.

Central to effective co-parenting is respect. Regardless of the circumstances leading to the divorce, each parent must respect the other’s role in their child’s life. Children are observant, and tension between parents can greatly affect them. Always keep interactions with your ex-partner cordial, especially in front of the child.

Another key component of effective co-parenting is flexibility. While it’s important to establish a consistent parenting schedule, being flexible with each other can reduce stress and foster a healthier co-parenting environment. This adaptability might involve switching weekends or adjusting times for special events or circumstances.

Remember the role of forgiveness in the context of divorce. Holding onto anger or resentment can harm your emotional well-being and spill over into your co-parenting relationship. Forgiving your ex-partner, even if just privately, can free you from the baggage of the past and allow you to focus on the future — your children’s well-being.

If conflicts do arise, resolve them away from the children. Seek professional help if necessary, such as mediation or counseling. Remember, effective co-parenting isn’t about the relationship between the parents but rather about providing a stable, supportive environment for the child.

Final thoughts

Embarking on the divorce journey is undoubtedly daunting, particularly when considering its potential effects on your children. However, by understanding their perspective, fostering open communication, ensuring stability, and co-parenting effectively, you can significantly minimize the impact of divorce on kids. The goal isn’t to avoid change entirely but to guide your children through this process with as much love, understanding, and stability as possible. Even in the face of divorce, you can preserve a nurturing environment for your child. It may require patience and effort, but their resilience and well-being are worth it. Seeking professional help can also be beneficial, providing additional strategies and guidance during this challenging time.

Author bio:   Faiza Charles is a certified family therapist with over 15 years of experience helping families navigate the complexities of divorce. She specializes in child psychology and has written extensively on effective co-parenting and minimizing the impact of divorce on children. Faiza brings her empathetic approach and expert knowledge to guide parents toward nurturing their children’s resilience and well-being amidst major life transitions.

Guide to Co-Parenting with Compassion During Divorce

Navigating the waters of divorce can be challenging, especially when children are involved. During these times, co-parenting with compassion during divorce becomes vital. This phrase embodies the idea of maintaining a nurturing environment for your children, despite the changes around them. The cornerstone of this approach lies in effective communication during divorce, ensuring that both parents work as a team for their children’s well-being. Embracing compassion in co-parenting can turn a potentially tumultuous time into an opportunity for growth and understanding for all parties involved. This guide explores navigating this journey with the most compassionate approach possible.

Understanding the Challenges of Co-Parenting During Divorce

Divorce is a significant life-altering event, and the added responsibilities of co-parenting can often feel overwhelming. This period can be fraught with various challenges, ranging from financial and logistical issues to emotional stress and turmoil. A notable concern here is handling mental health struggles or addiction issues. Professionals at the Harmony Ridge Recovery Center, renowned experts in addiction treatment, advise that managing these issues with understanding and patience is vital during this transition. Mismanaged mental health or addiction can complicate co-parenting, affecting the individual and their ability to parent effectively.

Acknowledging and facing these challenges with empathy and compassion can build the foundation for successful co-parenting during a divorce. As we navigate this period, the key is to maintain focus, not on the difficulties but on how to overcome them to ensure a stable environment for our children.

Establishing Effective Communication

Communication is the cornerstone of successful co-parenting during a divorce. It sets the tone for how parents interact, make decisions, and support their children. Establishing effective communication requires a deliberate effort from both parties. Here are some essential points to consider:

Open and Respectful Dialogue: Create an atmosphere where parents can openly express their thoughts and concerns. Listen attentively to each other without interruptions, showing respect for differing viewpoints.

Consistency and Clarity: Maintain consistency in communication patterns, such as agreed-upon channels (email, phone calls, or co-parenting apps) and a regular schedule for discussions. Clearly define roles, responsibilities, and expectations to avoid confusion.

Use “I” Statements: When discussing sensitive topics, use “I” statements instead of accusatory language. For example, say, “I feel concerned about our child’s well-being when…” rather than, “You always neglect our child’s needs.”

Set Boundaries: Establish clear boundaries for communication, especially regarding topics unrelated to co-parenting. It’s essential to focus discussions solely on matters concerning the children, avoiding personal attacks or rehashing past grievances.

Utilize Technology: Leverage technology tools for co-parenting, such as shared calendars, communication apps, or online platforms. These resources can facilitate organizing schedules, sharing important information, and reducing misunderstandings.

Mediation or Therapy: If communication challenges persist, consider involving a mediator or seeking professional therapy. A neutral third party can help facilitate productive discussions, resolve conflicts, and guide parents toward effective co-parenting.

Effective communication is not about winning arguments or proving one’s point. It’s about finding common ground, maintaining mutual respect, and prioritizing the children’s best interests. By establishing open and respectful communication, parents can build a solid foundation for co-parenting with compassion during divorce.

Focusing on the Child’s Needs

Amidst the emotional upheaval of divorce, it is crucial to prioritize the well-being of your children. Focusing on their needs requires a deep understanding of their emotions and concerns. Here are key points to consider when focusing on the child’s needs during divorce:

Preparing Your Children for Your Divorce

Before breaking the news about the divorce, take the time to prepare your children for this significant change. Choose an appropriate time and place, use age-appropriate language, and reassure them of your love and support. Be prepared to answer their questions honestly and provide ongoing reassurance.

Emotional Support

Divorce can emotionally challenge children, making them anxious or sad. Encourage open communication about their feelings, and validate their emotions. Create a safe space where they can express themselves without judgment or fear of consequences.

Consistency and Stability

Maintaining a sense of stability and routine can provide comfort and security for children amidst the upheaval. Establish consistent visitation or custody arrangements schedules, school routines, and extracurricular activities. Consistency helps children feel a sense of normalcy and provides a predictable environment.

Cooperative Co-Parenting

Demonstrate cooperative and respectful behavior towards the other parent, even if personal differences exist. Avoid using children as messengers or involving them in adult conflicts. Encourage positive relationships with both parents and support their bond with the other parent.

Empathy and Understanding

Put yourself in your child’s shoes and try to understand their perspective. Be empathetic towards their feelings, validate their experiences, and actively listen to their concerns. Showing empathy fosters trust and strengthens the parent-child relationship.

Seek Professional Support

If you notice significant changes in your child’s behavior, struggles with emotional well-being, or difficulty adjusting to the divorce, consider seeking professional support. Therapists or counselors specializing in child psychology can guide and support your child during this challenging time.

Parents can navigate the divorce process compassionately by focusing on the child’s needs and offering consistent support. Remember, your children’s well-being should be the top priority, and by prioritizing their needs, you can create a stable and nurturing environment for them to thrive despite the challenges of divorce.

Strategies for Compassionate Co-Parenting During Divorce

To effectively co-parent with compassion during divorce, it is essential to implement strategies that promote understanding, cooperation, and healthy communication. Here are some actionable strategies to consider:

  • Maintain a Respectful Tone: Choose your words carefully when communicating with your co-parent. Use a respectful and courteous tone, even in challenging situations. This approach fosters a cooperative atmosphere and helps prevent unnecessary conflicts.
  • Practice Active Listening: Give your full attention when your co-parent is speaking. Truly listen to their concerns, perspectives, and suggestions. Validating their feelings and ideas demonstrates empathy and can lead to more productive discussions.
  • Flexible Co-Parenting Plans: Remain open to adjusting co-parenting plans as needed. Recognizing that circumstances may change and adapting to new situations shows a willingness to prioritize your children’s best interests.
  • Collaborate on Decision-Making: Involve your co-parent in major decisions regarding your children’s education, healthcare, and extracurricular activities. Collaborative decision-making ensures parents have an equal say in shaping their children’s lives.
  • Keep Communication Child-Focused: Remember that co-parenting is about the well-being of your children. Focus conversations on their needs, schedules, milestones, and achievements. Keeping the dialogue child-focused can avoid unnecessary conflict and maintain a nurturing environment for your children.
  • Support the Other Parent’s Relationship: Encourage and support your children’s relationship with the other parent. Avoid making negative comments or undermining the other parent’s authority. Promoting a positive relationship between your children and their other parent benefits everyone involved.
  • Take Care of Yourself: Self-care is crucial during the divorce process. Nurture your physical and mental well-being, as it directly impacts your ability to co-parent effectively. Prioritize activities that reduce stress, seek support from friends and family, and consider therapy or counseling if needed.

Final words

During a divorce, co-parenting with compassion is crucial for the well-being of your children. You can create a nurturing environment during this challenging time by prioritizing effective communication, focusing on the child’s needs, and implementing strategies that promote understanding. Co-parenting with compassion during divorce benefits parents and children, fostering healthy relationships and emotional growth. Embrace these principles, navigate the journey with empathy, and forge a path toward a brighter future for your family.

Author bio:

Aisha Pitts is a certified family therapist specializing in divorce and co-parenting. With years of experience, she empowers parents to navigate the challenges of divorce with compassion and effective communication. Aisha believes prioritizing children’s well-being is key to successful co-parenting during and after divorce. Her expertise and guidance have helped numerous families build harmonious co-parenting relationships.


Co-Parenting Tips for Divorced Couples

Deciding on child custody arrangements is one of the most challenging elements of divorce for parents. Children of all ages find divorce a painful and frightening period, even when it is the best course of action for everyone. Children frequently blame divorce on themselves, which is rarely the case. Because of this, it’s crucial to include kids in as many choices as possible about their care and provide them access to both parents. One effective method—possibly the best method—to achieve those objectives is co-parenting. However, co-parenting works well only when you plan it well. And because we understand how important it is for kids to have both parents at their side, we compiled a list of valuable co-parenting tips for divorced couples.

Make a plan

The new connection between you and your child’s other parent and the care arrangements for your child can all be outlined in a co-parenting plan. The essential thing is to ensure your child will have a safe and healthy relationship with both parents. A co-parenting plan should include education, finances, children’s medical requirements, holidays and special occasions, and rules for making decisions and resolving issues that might pop up.

Also, if your child needs to miss a doctor’s appointment or school, the plan should include further backup plans. That can mean discussing how the other parent can assist. After all, the success of your co-parenting plan relies on your ability to communicate with your ex, which brings us to the next point.

Communicate effectively

According to many men who co-parent, this rule is the most crucial one. Divorced parents typically struggle with good communication since poor communication is a major reason for many marriages’ dissolution. Therefore, for the sake of the kids, co-parents need to improve their communication strategies and tactics. Parents must communicate with one another through all means, including face-to-face interactions.

At the same time, remember that sometimes, the wisest thing you can do is be silent and listen to what your ex wants. If you need to listen, listen, even if you are still angry. But before you answer, give it some serious thought. You won’t ever be able to overcome the co-parenting difficulties if you can’t at least listen to what they have to say. The ability to listen represents wisdom and adaptability, and remember that you’ll get to voice your opinion when the time comes.

Remember that children come first

Regardless of disagreements with your ex, always prioritize the welfare of your kids. That is frequently cited as the most challenging idea by parents going through a divorce, mainly if it is messy. Yet the secret to a “successful” divorce is prioritizing your children’s safety and stability. Therefore, do whatever it takes to put the kids’ needs first, even if it includes working with a family therapist to assist you and your co-parent in refocusing the dialogue on their needs.

Forget blame and anger

When it comes to your children, you will become furious and make things worse if you criticize, attack, or blame the other parent for what happened. We know adulthood is challenging, and parenting can be difficult. But parenting means putting your feelings aside for the benefit of your kids. And while speaking with your ex, you must ensure that your decisions don’t come from anger or resentment. Yes! It might be tough to do it if your divorce was exceptionally nasty. Yet when pain and fury are present, resolving conflicts with your ex is usually worse and rarely better. Therefore, follow the best co-parenting tips for divorced couples, try to hide your anger, and never play the blame game.

Don’t drag your kids into the discussion

You might never be able to let go of your anger or hate about your split, but you can learn to accept those feelings. Additionally, remember that they are your problems, not your child’s. So never discuss your ex-problems with your kids. Furthermore, never send a child as a messenger. Your children become the focal point of your argument when you speak to your co-parent using them. So call your ex personally if you want to keep your kids out of your relationship troubles and keep your problems private. Most importantly: never make your kids feel like they have to choose between parents!

However, you can still make your kids feel important and included in decision-making during and after the divorce. For instance, if you have to move homes, let them have a choice regarding their new room. Ask them how they would like to decorate it and what they would put inside it. Also, before leaving your old home, you can include them in packing and preparing for the move. If they have a lot of stuff to transfer to the new home, you can keep it in a storage unit until their room is ready. After all, renting storage can be helpful during a divorce as you can separate your items and keep them safe until you find a new home.

Be there for your kids

Always remember that you are not the only one suffering. Your divorce affects your kids as much, if not even more than it affects you. Therefore, be there for your kids whenever they need you. At the same time, allow your ex to be there for their kids. Having both of you by their side, even if not in an ideal way, is always much better than having just one of you.

Final thoughts

Nobody enjoys going through a divorce.  But when kids are involved, you must do your best to protect them from harm.  You and your ex must work together in the children’s best interest. As a result, some co-parenting tips for divorced couples can always come in handy. So be sure to read and apply them to make the best of an unfortunate event.

Author bio: Vanessa Marsh is a single mom passionate about helping others. She is writing to help empower parents in their journey of divorce and co-parenting and find joy in everyday moments with family and friends. Vanessa loves to spend time in nature with her kids when she isn’t writing.


How to Help Your Kids Feel Comfortable in Two Homes

When parents separate or divorce, it can be difficult for children to adjust to having two homes, one with each parent. Children are notoriously bad at adapting to new environments and regular changes. On the other hand, a kid gets a brand new place to call his or her own, a fresh bedroom to personalize, and a whole new area to discover. You may make the transition to dual residence easier on everyone by taking some measures, whether you’re setting up a new address or keeping the current one throughout the separation or divorce. Here are some ways to help your kids feel comfortable in two homes. 

Give them their own space 

Many people don’t realize how chaotic divorce may be. It may still be a hassle even when everyone is on the same page. However, once family law professionals have helped you reach a resolution, it is time to prioritize your children’s health and happiness. 

First, make sure you and your ex-spouse both provide a room for the children. They can have their own room, a section of the closet, or even just a corner of the living room to store their belongings and do their homework. Having their own space may make a big difference in how youngsters adjust to their new environment. 

Establish routines 

Children benefit significantly from routines because they provide stability and predictability. Create consistent patterns for them to follow from house to house. Make an effort to coordinate with your ex so that your children have consistent routines in both homes, particularly regarding scheduling activities, such as bedtime, screen time, and curfews. It’s okay for each parent to have their own rules and routines, but it’s preferable if there isn’t a massive difference if you want to help your kids feel comfortable in two homes. 

Keep in touch with your kids 

Discover a strategy to stay in touch with your children when they are staying with their other parent, without intruding on the time that parent is spending with the children. You may set up a daily phone conversation, video chat, or at least check in every few days. You can support your kids during the divorce in this way. In order to assist your kids in keeping track of when they should be there, a color-coded calendar might be kept in each house. 

Keep your cool 

Although it may seem simple, this is typically the hardest to do. The only time some parents see each other is during their child’s transition, and they may utilize this time to work out their differences. Keep your youngster out of the center of your disagreements by having these talks behind closed doors. Besides, such matters can be discussed by email or phone call between visits. Make sure there is no unnecessary drama throughout the changeover. 

Have open conversations 

Open communication about both households is another strategy to help your kids feel comfortable in two homes. It’s sometimes hard to make decisions when you’re divorced, and communication is usually very hard to upkeep. It’s tough to deal with the emotions that come with a divorce, but remember that your children value both of their homes. It’s important to show them that you value their opinion and are willing to give them the attention and validation they need because they are an integral part of your life. Your child should feel no remorse for enjoying the love and support of both families. So, keep things upbeat and civil. 

Don’t compete 

It might be difficult for the parent who stays at the original house to hear their children talk enthusiastically about the new room at the other parent’s house. However, this is not the time to attempt to outdo the other parent by renovating your children’s former bedroom. In this situation, the last thing a youngster needs is additional change. Their excitement about the new home shouldn’t make them feel bad about themselves, so try not to compete. 

Make a packing plan 

Traveling back and forth between many residences can be taxing on everyone’s energy levels. Toiletries, pajamas, spare clothes, books, and movies should be kept on hand at both residences to help ease this burden. Assist smaller children with their overnight packing the night before. Make sure you pack some of their favorite toys, too. Here are some simple tips you can use for packing toys that will ensure your smallest ones feel comfortable leaving home. This can be another gentle hint to your kiddo that it’s about time to go visit the other parent. 

Have them do chores and don’t spoil them 

Having kids pitch in with household chores makes them feel more included in the family. Ensure the youngsters don’t perform more or less work than their siblings do and that the chores are similar at both houses. You can also help them learn to take care of themselves. 

Additionally, as a means of making their children feel at home or due to feelings of guilt associated with the breakup, some parents who have gone through a divorce may indulge their children with presents and lax regulations. They won’t feel more loved if they’re spoiled, and it may make them feel as though their love is being bought if they act entitled. 

Plan activities 

A child’s emotions are tested throughout a divorce, and it takes more than a few days for them to feel normal again. Therefore, while they are living with you, it is essential to organize some enjoyable activities to get their minds off of the situation. In the end, kids will remember the good times they had at your house, not the sad memories of the divorce. To help your kids feel comfortable in two homes, put in the additional effort to spend quality time together doing things like arts and crafts, playing football in the garden, or working on a project. 

Final words 

It’s natural for children to feel down after a divorce. Everyone needs time to settle into their new habits and acclimate to the changes. There is no doubt that you and your ex-spouse want what is best for your children. So, follow this guide to help your kids feel comfortable in two homes and provide them with a safe and fulfilling upbringing. 

Meta: If you’re going through a divorce, you’ll want to read this guide to help your kids feel comfortable in two homes. 

 Author’s bio: Mary K. is a happily divorced mother of four and a passionate blogger with a green thumb. Between juggling her children, caring for her plants, and writing helpful content for divorcees, Mary enjoys hosting dinner parties for friends. 


Co- Parenting: How To Keep Your Kids Safe While On Their Phones

Co-parenting is not an easy path. For couples preparing to go through a divorce, or for already divorced couples working together to create a safe, consistent co-parenting arrangement, there are countless logistics to sort out.

In the digital age that we live in, ensuring that both parents are able to keep in touch with the kids means giving kids access to digital technology. But there is a tricky balance to strike, between allowing your kids freedom to use their phones as they wish, without interfering in their communications with their other parent, and keeping them safe as they navigate social media apps and potential spammers.

In this article we will take a look at some tips for co-parents who want to keep their kids safe while on their phones.

Clear Expectations, Clear Communication

One of the key elements of creating a successful co-parenting dynamic is to establish clear expectations and boundaries. Both parents should be willing to communicate their expectations and preferences when it comes to their kids’ cell phone use. And equally both parents should be open to negotiating and listening to what the other parent has to say.

Alert the other co-parent far in advance of purchasing a phone or phone accessory for your child, so there is ample time to discuss how and when your child will be allowed to use the phone and whether they will bring the phone with them between houses. The last thing you want is for your child to feel they are carrying a “secret device” that one of their parents is not aware of. That would make it clear that both parents are not on the same page.

Consistency is key for maintaining a peaceful home atmosphere for the kids’ sake, so both parents should agree on a clear set of rules before explaining them to the kids. If one parent household allows certain things that are restricted in the other home, power struggles and insecurity can result. Co-parents may want to consider drawing up a contract before they give their children free range to explore the internet and the world of social media.

With the rules clearly set down in writing, children can have a definite understanding of what is allowed and not allowed when it comes to phone use. And so can both parents. Drawing up a contract or tech management plan can clear up any potential misunderstandings and help co-parents work together to maintain healthy boundaries that both parties have agreed upon ahead of time, keeping tech rules consistent across both households. Or, if both households do not agree on the same tech management plan, establishing the written rules can help kids know what rules they are expected to abide by when they visit each home.

What Kinds of Risks Do Kids Face on Their Phones?

There are several types of risk that children can encounter while using a cell phone. Some of these can be filtered out more easily, such as setting parental controls to restrict access to websites with adult content, like pornography, black market trading sites, drug paraphernalia online shops, video sites that feature violent or sexually explicit content, or gambling websites. But there is another layer to keeping your kids safe while using their phones: cybersecurity.

Even people who already take precautions to protect their email inboxes and home internet connection from possible cyberattacks often forget that their phones also present a risk. In fact, 1 in 36 mobile devices already has high risk software installed. Social media apps like Facebook messenger, Snapchat, TikTok, or Instagram can provide a space for unsafe characters to access your children’s personal accounts. This may come in the form of an innocent-seeming message or a message that appears to be coming from someone that your child already knows.

When a bad actor attempts to steal personal information, access login details, or pin the geospatial location of a phone or app user by impersonating someone that seems legitimate, it is called phishing. A hacker that uses phishing techniques can then install malware (malicious software) or spyware on the device in use. Without knowing they have done so, your child may accidentally grant a bad actor access to their personal device or to sensitive information, like your home address or credit card information.

Share Oversight Responsibilities

In order to keep your kids safe from potential hackers, spammers, or other bad actors, it is important to share monitoring responsibilities wherever possible. If you are comfortable with new tech, you can install monitoring software on all devices your child or children may use. This can help ensure that your children are not accidentally accessing pornography, gambling sites, or other forms of adult content that are inappropriate for their age group.

Both parents can agree to install apps like Qustodio, Kidlogger, and Family Shield, among others. Share the research to find the best tech monitoring app to satisfy the safety requirements for both households. Co-parents may want to split the cost of tech monitoring software, to ensure that they are on the same page when it comes to protecting their kids online and on apps.

Then, when you install the monitoring apps, you can set the notifications so that both parents receive alerts if there is some suspicious activity online. Co-parents can also agree to share their kids’ log in details and passwords for every app across devices, so they can regularly check in and monitor activity as needs be.

Both parents should, however, be sure to respect the privacy of the other household. Some tech monitoring apps include real time live tracking information, including the child’s whereabouts. Respectful co-parents should avoid using the tracking software as an opportunity to spy on the other parent household. Establishing healthy boundaries with both children and co-parents is key.

Working Together Across Two Households

Wherever possible, talk to your co-parent to communicate any concerns, apprehensions, or ideas you may have about your child’s phone usage. The more consistent and clear both households are, the more peaceful a transition your child will have as they move across homes. If both co-parents are able to communicate, it it much more likely that your child will maintain consistent tech safety as they use their phone and other tech devices in both households.

Establish clear boundaries, stay firm, and be willing to work together with your co-parent and child to set up strong household rules that can protect your child and allow you to monitor phone usage.

Author of this article is Deb Smythe

Universal Children’s Day: Tips to Help Kids Cope with Divorce

November 20th is Universal Children’s Day, a time dedicated to improving the welfare of all children. When two parents get divorced, children must transition into a new lifestyle as several aspects of their living situation are changed. Not seeing both parents all the time or having to split time spent with both of them may bring on a mix of emotions including feelings of confusion and guilt.

Mr. David Badanes Esq. of Badanes Law Office on Long Island shared his suggestions for co-parenting and helping kids cope with divorce in healthy ways.  

Create a Parenting Plan: Keeping in contact with your former spouse will help proactively avoid confusion and conflict regarding custody dates and times outlined in the court order. It is important not to argue about custody or visitation in front of your children. Once a plan is established, familiarize your child with the agreed-upon routine. This will help them find stability in all the changes going on around them. It is important for children to understand that both parents will still be present in their lives.  

Keep Conversations Age Appropriate: Divorce impacts children of all ages. When talking to your children about the divorce, tailor the conversation to their understanding. Since kids develop emotionally at different rates, the way you discuss divorce with an elementary-aged school child is different than the way that you would introduce the topic to a college-aged child. No matter the age of your child, ensure them that they are still loved by both of their parents. Maintaining positive relationships with both parents will help with the coping process.  

Validate Your Child’s Feelings: Every child responds to divorce differently. A school-aged child may react to the divorce with moodiness and a desire for their parents to get back together. Adolescents may experience depression, aggression, and trouble focusing on their work. Make sure to reassure your child that the feelings they are experiencing are normal. Being a good listener will go a long way in helping your child adjust. You may also want to consider counseling for you, your children or family counseling.  

Keep Routines as Consistent as Possible: Children positively benefit from structure and routine. With all the changes that come along with a divorce, try and keep certain elements of their routine that are in your control consistent. It is also important to have a conversation with your child to see what they like or don’t like about their current routines to see if any positive changes can be made. Making certain changes within reason can help with adjusting to a new lifestyle as it allows your child to feel heard. If your children split time between two households, discuss rules and boundaries with your ex-spouse to enforce similar rules in both homes. This will prevent conflicts between child and parent and between former spouses.

The circumstances surrounding every divorce are different and it is up to you to decide what is right for your children. If you are having trouble figuring out your co-parenting situation and would like some advice, there are plenty of resources available to you, including counseling for yourself or your child.  

 Author of this article, David Badanes, Esq. and the Badanes Law Office, P.C. provides real-world advice to help you through this challenging time. If you are contemplating getting a divorce, and need an attorney to represent you, call David Badanes and the Badanes Law Office today at 631-239-1702, email at The Badanes Law Office has offices in Northport, Suffolk County and Uniondale, Nassau County.  

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Co-parenting With a Difficult Ex: 5 Tips to Make It Easier

For a divorced parent, dealing with a difficult ex can be exhausting, emotionally draining, and damaging to the kids.

Co-parenting well is difficult enough with two happy parents. When your former partner, however, is non-understanding, the task seems impossible at times.

Here are the top 5 tips to be an effective co-parent

Set boundaries

Make sure you will not engage in negative communication or behavior with your ex. Simply, let your ex know that you will not discuss the matter in front of the children. Instead, ask your ex to send an email, providing it concerns a decision to be made about the children.

Although you cannot change the way your ex communicates with you, you can change the way you interact with your ex. Communicating through email dilutes the emotion.  When responding to emails, only address the specific issues concerning the children and ignore other irrelevant comments or accusations. Make sure to stick to the point, without judgment or criticism.

Do not criticize your ex

Keep your personal feelings about your ex aside and refuse to bad mouth your ex to your children. Also, do not engage in negative communication with family or friends, as your children might hear you.

Just like you do with your children, you need to resolve your battles with your ex. Find out which parenting issue is vital to you, where you can compromise, and where you are willing to let go.

Create a future plan

Putting all differences aside, try to sit down with your ex and create a plan that focuses on meeting the requirements of your children.  If required, ask a neutral or common party to be present to help you stay focused on the plan and even offer an objective opinion.

As part of your future plan, do discuss your new relationship goals as co-parents. Often, divorced couples fail to do this. Do not go like them, instead find out your relationship boundaries as co-parents to be, or look like.

Go unbiased

If you have issues with the way parenting is going, discuss it with your ex. Make sure to stay honest and give valid reasons to support your point of view. Be open to listening to your ex point of view as well. Maybe, you both hold different views but that does not mean one of you is right and the other is wrong. Co-parenting is not about winning for each other, it’s about focusing on the kids’ best interest.

Do not involve your kids

Never put your children in the position to help sort their parents’ issues. They should not be loaded with issues and circumstances that they cannot control.  As a parent, you might have to make sacrifices for your child’s happiness. Regardless of how another parent behaves, you need to take care of your actions, choices, and words. Simply, try to be your child’s role model by behaving appropriately at all times, and keeping your issues aside.

If you are going through the challenges of single parenting and are worried about the impact on children, do follow the above tips to make co-parenting easier.

Author Bio:

Willow Anderson Law is an Edina-based family law firm dedicated to guiding you through life-altering transitions while minimizing damage to your well-being, your children, and your financial future.We know how challenging family law matters like divorce, custody, and spousal/child support can be. That’s why our Minnesota family law firm is dedicated to attentive listening, straight-forward communication, and thoughtful advocacy on your behalf.

Four Mistakes to Avoid When You Fight for Custody

With no doubt, divorce is believed to be one of the most stressful and overwhelming stages of some people’s lives, and rightly so. This is particularly so with those couples who cannot reach an understanding regarding child custody issues and thus cannot get divorce papers online. The stress these divorcees experience is usually linked to their many concerns about their role in their children’s lives, the time their children will spend with another co-parent, etc.

If two people, who have kids in common, cannot pull together to come up with a parenting plan amicably, they cannot use a divorce do it yourself kit. Truth be told, they have nothing to do but to have their case settled in court. If this happens to you, your children’s future will be put into the hands of a judge who will act with your children’s best interests in mind. And before he or she can draft a recommended custodial plan, each parent’s claims and available evidence must be assessed as is right and proper. Unfortunately, it happens that good moms and dads are classified as neglectful simply because they have made some of the following mistakes made by many parents who find themselves in the middle of a child custody battle:

Refusing to find common ground with another parent

No matter how poorly you think of your soon-to-be ex-spouse, you should avoid making the mistake of putting your negative feelings above your kids’ best interests. If you refuse to pull together with your former better half for the sake of your children, a judge may think that you cannot care less about their wellbeing and everything you have on your mind is a monumental desire for revenge. Instead, do your best to reach an understanding with the other parent so that you two can have constructive dialogues. If your emotions run high, think about getting a divorce lawyer who will not only help you with every divorce paper form but also take on all negotiations and give you a piece of advice about when it is better to take the middle path and when it is better to contend.

 Inappropriate social media behavior

Almost all people have social media accounts and you may have one, too. As soon as you fill out your first  Maine divorce paper form (either with  or with lawyer’s assistance)  it is time to start watching your online behavior carefully. Since your profile is completely public, you cannot use it for venting your frustrations and badmouthing your soon-to-be ex-spouse.    All you post on the Internet is very likely to come to light in court. If your social media activity makes a judge form a bad opinion of your behavior or your influence on your kids, – photos of you drinking alcohol and doing drugs or posts vituperating against your former partner – you have very few chances to win the battle.

In a nutshell, you shouldn’t share anything provocative on the Internet, especially if you don’t want it to be brought up later on. However, if you have already posted something unpleasant, don’t try to get rid of it. Everything you post is considered the evidence and thus your decision to delete it may have legal consequences. Inform your lawyer about your online behavior so that he or she can take care of everything in time.

Making Wrongful Accusations when Questioned

When you meet a family reporter face-to-face and get questioned, make sure that you keep a distance. This person is not your friend and going into personals when it comes to your soon-to-be ex-spouse is a big mistake. Truth be told, this person is here to judge you, assess your personality, and determine whether or not you can parent your children effectively. So, don’t even try to hammer another parent for cutting the cheese in public, listening to horrible music, watching boring TV shows, etc. You should better watch your mouth.

When you are asked to come up with your concerns regarding your former partner, think about a compliment sandwich. So, start with something good about your partner, proceed with what you would like to change in your former beloved person, and then finish with a phrase that “everybody wants to believe that he or she will change for the better for the sake of your little ones”.

Lying about your addiction issues

Heavy drinking and drug use are pretty much the first issues that may be used against you. Of course, it is better if you don’t have any problems with alcohol and drugs; however, we all are far from perfect, and if you haven’t been clean for a while, at least don’t lie about it. Truth be told, a judge doesn’t care about your well-being so much as about how your abuse may affect your children’s well-being and your parenting skills.

If you have overcome your addiction, don’t neglect to inform everybody about your shady past in your very first statement. Provide the smallest details, such as when was the last time you used drugs or drank, what exactly you consumed, and why and what made you quit. It also makes sense to take a drug test. This is how you can protect yourself from any accusation thrown at you in court.

If you haven’t quit yet, then do your best to explain how much, when and where you drink or take drugs and who looks after your kids when you are high or wasted. Try to get addiction counseling or go to rehab. If you need treatment, likely, your matter will not be finalized until you are done.

Remember that nobody in court is concerned about your past. What matters most is that you are fine today and nothing can prevent you from parenting your kids as is right and proper. So, instead of lying about your problems, take your time to deal with them.

Bio: Author Bio Greg Semmit has years of experience working with different types of legal documents and writing about Family Law for educational purposes. Currently, he is working at OnlineDivorcer company, where he writing blog articles about divorce and divorce cases. In his free time, he likes roaming the streets of New York with his Olympus taking photos of the best spots in the city.


How to support your children though a divorce

The year 2020 has been a pretty brutal one for most people. Some people have been able to find some comfort in the bonds of family and friendship. For others, however, those bonds have been stretched to breaking point. If you’re in the latter group, here is some advice on how to support your children through a divorce.

Have a basic plan in place before you break the news

For a child, there are no positives to a divorce. This means that you need to focus on minimizing negatives. Ideally, you want to be able to show your child that, effectively, nothing is going to change for them. If that is not possible, then explain how you’ll minimize the negative impact of any changes.

It’s best if you and your partner have a complete plan ready before you break the news to your child. At the same time, however, you want to make sure that they hear the news from you, not social media. For practical purposes, therefore, it may be best just to outline your plan and then tell your child. Commit to keeping them in the loop as your plans develop.

Involve your child in discussions/mediation

Wrapping up a marriage almost always involves lengthy discussions, especially where children are involved. For many couples, mediation sessions are a practical and affordable way of keeping these discussions civil and productive. These are probably going to be where you and your partner iron out the practicalities of your split.

Some of those practicalities will have a massive impact on your child. This means that, whenever possible, they should have age-appropriate input into the discussions. They don’t have to know everything. In fact, it’s often better that they don’t. They certainly shouldn’t see their parents openly arguing. They do, however, need a reasonable degree of information and involvement.  

Try to maintain a consistent routine

Right now, COVID19 is probably causing more than enough disruption to their lives, especially when it comes to co-parenting through a pandemic. This means that it’s more important than ever to maintain stability as much as you can.

As a minimum, stick to regular mealtimes and nap/bedtimes. Resist any temptation to try to soften the blow by excess use of treats such as sweets and late nights.

If COVID19 means that you and your partner are stuck with each other’s company for longer than you’d like, keep it civil. You’re probably going to have disagreements. Recognize this in advance, own the fact and agree on a process for dealing with them privately. If you’re able to move out physically, have a plan in place to maintain contact, even if it’s only virtually.

Stay consistent with discipline

This is really a sub-point of keeping to a consistent routine. It is, however, important enough to deserve a mention on its own. Children handle divorce differently. In fact, the same child can handle divorce differently on different days. This is particularly true if they’re going through a lot of hormonal changes.

Recognize the difference between understanding their feelings and handing them control. Maintaining consistent rules and boundaries may be challenging in the short term. It will, however, help your child’s long-term recovery and personal growth.

Author Bio

K J Smith Solicitors are specialists in family law, experienced in all matters relating to divorce, civil partnerships, cohabitation disputes and collaborative law.


Family Law and Custody Issues in Divorce Cases Remain Complicated

With the change in time and technology, the approach of people has changed a lot towards numerous things. And why not? After all the new innovations and approaches have been brought to the limelight to ease the life of the people. Yet there are some aspects that have not been changed and are still complicated and ruptured marriages are one of them, not only that parents involved in getting the custody of the child are still the same.

Well, the situation is not only about who gets it but when and how long do parents have to wait. In these situations generally, children have the maximum loss. and if you are dealing with divorce and the child custody in San Bernardino you definitely need to consult family law attorney San Bernardino or child custody lawyers San Bernardino or divorce attorney San Bernardino.

Family law and custody issues in divorce cases remain complicated with the time yet as a parent it is really important to know your rights and what kinds of child custody agreements are available and what are the grants in each of the agreements. Though, understanding the agreements is not that difficult yet can be a bit confusing in order to understand as you are going through so much stress and dealing with both divorce and child custody issues.

Types of custody you need to deal in

Legal Custody– A quite common type of custody is legal custody. This involves both the parents and is shared mutually. it is a merely straightforward type of custody and you have all the rights reserved to take the decision which you find beneficial for your child, not only for any crucial matter but you can be the part of day concerns as well.

Physical Custody–  This is another form of custody in which the child has the right to stay with one parent for a period of time and for another specific time with the other parent.  Usually, one parent has a longer period for the child to stay due to the logistics of physical custody.

This can also be said to be a shared custody type of arrangement involving both the parents with the child visitation schedule created by the lifestyles of the parents. And with the best interest of the children.

Sole Custody– This form of custody involves situations where one parent or the other gets sole custody of the child that means legal and physical custody both. This type of custody usually tends to take place when one of the parents is not capable of taking care of the child or maybe abusive and can only get custody in extreme situations.

Joint Custody– This type of custody is awarded to both the parents. This means both the parents get to share legal and physical custody. This custody is usually preferred by the court and it seems to be the best for the child. However, the situation could not be the same for all cases it differs from cases to cases.


Well, you are now much aware of the complexity of family law and custody issues and from the old age to the modern time things haven’t changed as required. However, you need proper guidance from the experienced and skilled family law attorney in San Bernardino that helps you to get a better vision of family law and custody cases. it is one of the most essential decisions of life and you need to go through the whole process with expert knowledge. I wish you all the luck that prevails!


A Family Attorney Can Settle Some Child Custody Related Issues in Divorce

Divorce is not an easy task, and especially when children are concerned there are many aspects you need to take care of. With the whole procedure of divorce, you definitely don’t want to overlook your children and there are several other issues you need to discuss. In those situations definitely want to take help from the divorce attorneys Stuart or child custody attorney, Stuart.

A family attorney can settle some child custody related issues in Divorce.

  • The topmost priority in this situation is generally the custody of the children. There are manifold options that include opting for joint custody in which you and your spouse both have the opportunity to be with the kids. Keeping the children half of the month with you and making the spouse keep half of the month makes it easy for both parties.
  • You can opt for sole custody and let your spouse visit the kids as per their choice.
  • Well, you need to know that there is a concept of physical and legal custody. Physical
  • custody involves the decision with the kids to live with whereas the legal custody involves all the religious, medical, and educational decisions made for the kids. Here is the role of your family attorney to help you out with the most preferred decision and work on the decisions you made for the best outcome.
  • Once the choices are made in terms of custody there are financial aspects as well that need to be taken care of. Well, no matter who gets the custody and what may be the decision the financial responsibility is generally taken care of by both the parties. And whoever gets to keep the kids will be owed money by the other parent. The entire procedure of expense depends upon the situation and creating a favorable situation depends upon your attorney, so it is highly important for you to choose wisely.
  • You definitely require an experienced family law professional attorney, who has immense knowledge about child support cases.
  • While taking the divorce there are many multiple custody rights you must be aware of. Your family attorney helps you out by guiding with all the custody rights and details.
  • There are situations where the father may have a doubt about the kid and think they might not be the father. In such a situation, your family attorney can plead for a paternity
  • DNA test on your behalf. Not only that there might be a situation when the father is sure that the children are his yet mother claims they are. In those cases also family attorneys can plead for a paternity / DNA test on your behalf.


There are many such situations that family attorneys deal within a regular basis. However, it’s the regular work of a family attorney to settle some child custody related issues in divorce. All you need to do is hire an experienced and skillful attorney that can make conditions work in your favor. Taking divorce is kind of a life-changing decision and when kids are involved it is really important to make all the important decisions wisely that also includes choosing an experienced family law attorney Stuart. I wish you all the luck that prevails.