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Divorce

Divorce Statistics to Be Aware of in 2020

Being in a relationship is a beautiful thing, and it’s even better if you end up getting married to your soul mate. Signing the papers takes your relationship to a new level. Wearing a wedding ring binds you forever, and saying the vows signifies that your love will last for good. You can plan a life with your significant other, have a wonderful family, and grow old together.

Unfortunately, that’s not always the case. Divorces have always been a hard thing to talk about, and even harder to go through. Even though you may not think about getting divorced from the love of your life, sometimes that’s the only sensible thing to do. Divorce statistics state that almost 45% of first marriages in the US end in divorce.

The most common reasons for getting a divorce are infidelity, conflict, and lack of commitment. Other reasons include high expectations, lack of equality, and domestic violence. More than half of divorced people blame their partners for a divorce. When it comes to the price of divorce in the US, it costs about $15,000 per person. 

As if the price isn’t enough, you’ll also have to deal with the emotional trauma of divorce. Just like the marriage itself was exciting and made you happy, divorce could be stressful and turn your world upside down. You need to realize that these emotions are normal and that you should cut yourself some slack. After the divorce, you’ll probably feel like you’ve lost hopes and dreams for the future together with your partner. But you shouldn’t feel that way. 

If, by any chance, you have kids, keep in mind that they too feel confused, angry, and lost. Be honest with them, discuss what’s going to happen, and encourage them to talk about how they feel. Keep the daily routine as it was, but still do your best to include both of you in their lives. Read more about the divorce statistics and facts to familiarize yourself with the reasons why you or someone you know might want to end their marriage.

Infographic URL: 2date4love.com/divorce-statistics/

 

What Should You Expect From Your Family Attorney for Your Divorce Case?

There is no doubt that whenever you tend to get any service the expectations from those services are pretty clear. But when you want to opt for the divorce services, the expectations from your divorce lawyer is always a question mark. Whether it is family law attorney Fishers or divorce law attorney Fishers, you must know what you do from a divorce lawyer.

In this article, let’s understand what you should expect from your family attorney for your divorce case?

 

Expectations according to the factors:

 

Well, your expectation entirely depends upon how much skillful and experienced attorney you have hired?  And also, are your expectations realistic and genuine?

 

Divorce attorneys are general service providers like any other field attorney and, so the quality may differ as per the experience and knowledge.

 

And as you know that the different profession requires different skills, for example, all doctors may have the degree of M.B.B.S but that doesn’t mean that all the doctors are that much skillful.

Same goes with lawyers you need to hire a lawyer who has family law experience, knowledge of the legalities, communication skills,  courtroom litigation skills, writing and negotiation skills, much other skill set in order to set the bar of efficiency and effectiveness inside and outside the courtroom.

 

The expectations from a bad divorce attorney:

Well, like any other services divorce attorney services also have the capability measurement. What should you expect from a bad divorce attorney?

 

Lack of communication and mail ethics, failing to respond to your calls and messages on time.

Wasting time and money on the issues that are not much necessary and may have a bad influence in the long term.

Lack of preparation and knowledge required to represent your case in front of the judiciary.

Disturbance in paperwork, documentation, typo errors, proofreading errors, incomplete or incorrect statements, and more.

Not communicating efficiently, rather than focusing on making it a strong case with logical choices drilling the client emotionally.

The above-mentioned points make it very clear that what you should never expect your efficient lawyer to do.

 

Specifying your expectation with an average divorce attorney:

There is not much difference in a bad attorney and an average attorney as they commonly work on similar grounds and make you suffer the same way.

An average attorney will also show you a hard time when it comes to responding and reaching them for your hearings or case preparation.They also do not try efficiently on focusing on the facts that are essential for your case.

They may have the degree of a lawyer but the lack of experience and knowledge about family law can make your case complicated and they may not be to skillfully cope up with the complex situations.Below an average understanding of the law and shreds of evidence, things can go wrong.

 

What should you expect from your family attorney for your divorce case?

A great and prominent lawyer is the one you are seeking for your divorce case. An efficient and effective lawyer possesses some great qualities.

Thorough knowledge and experience of courtroom litigation. The way they own the courtroom with all the confidence is what makes them different from other lawyers.

The way they communicate to make your case stronger and representable and their excellent communication skills and interest in your case is what is expected from a great lawyer.

They do indulge in practices that can waste time and money, and always work on what makes sense and important for the case.

They focus on providing error-free and quality paperwork and take the updates on a weekly basis which makes your case proceedings presentable in front of the judiciary.

 

Conclusion

It is hard to focus on the things when you are going through a divorce as it is a traumatic situation. But proper guidance is really important in order to come out of the situation positively. Your expectation from your family attorney is what makes you choose the best outcome in the future. So, think wisely before choosing your divorce attorney. I wish you all the luck that prevails!

 

How to Have a Stress-Free Divorce in Los Angeles (or anywhere) when your spouse was cheating on you?

Well, of course, everybody is aware that divorce is not an easy task and can make your life quite stressful and devastating.  Divorce is definitely a hard process and can turn out to be the worst time of an individual’s life, especially when your spouse is cheating on you. The time can turn out to be very tough and preposterous to share the same space with your spouse. In this situation usually, an individual plans to get separated and file a divorce.

If you are willing to file a divorce in Los Angeles you definitely need to consult a family law attorney Los Angeles or a divorce attorney Los Angeles. However, here are some great suggestions to make your life easier and have a stress-free divorce in Los Angeles when your spouse was cheating on you.

 

How to Have a Stress-Free Divorce in Los Angeles when your spouse was cheating on you?

 

  • Take out some “ME TIME”

Taking out some “ME TIME” does not mean having a coffee and Netflix subscription and passing out on your couch, but you should really take out time for yourself that can actually release your stress that tends to happen while taking a divorce.

Taking out some time for yourself means working on your improvements, fitness, and making yourself better than yesterday. Spending some quality time with friends and family, interacting culturally, and making yourself comfortable through socializing, do what makes you passionate and find some great opportunities to forget about your divorce without making it tough for you.

Give yourself some pampering, plan out a trip, or get yourself a book and read it to the core. Just have fun and forget about your stressing divorce.

 

  • Go for therapy or seek comfort

Divorce is not that easy and things don’t go so comfortably. Seeking support and comfort can help you out to pass this stage sleekly. You can visit the therapist and take some mind refreshing sessions.

You can go through some social media posts, motivational and inspirational thoughts that can release your stress and surround you with some positivity. You can also join support groups or get any companion to share your stress and support you to get through this difficult time.

Moreover, groups have some people with similar situations that can make you understand your situation and cope up with support and care.

 

  • Take care of your health

Things get difficult in such a situation and usually, people tend to rely on food. Getting a heavy and delicious meal to forget your stress is quite obvious, but try not to ruin your health due to your temporary stress rather turn down your energy to make the worth of your current situation.

No doubt the time is tough but this too shall pass, you just need to keep yourself healthy and pass this stressful time. Make sure that you make healthy choices when it comes to your meal so that your body and mind always feel fresh.

 

Conclusion

Getting a divorce is, of course, a difficult situation and you need to emerge strong through the whole process. There are numerous things that can help you to pass this difficult time. All you need is to create a positive perspective in order to forget your past and think about the positive instance that may occur in future. Consulting a skilled and knowledgeable divorce attorney in Los Angeles may get you the ray of hope and turn the whole scenario into favorable conditions, you just need to keep calm and keep yourself healthy. I wish you all the luck that prevails!

 

How a dedicated Divorce Lawyer Proves advantageous for Your Case?

Having a dedicated Divorce Lawyer Los Angeles is really important for your case as a good divorce lawyer can take care of you and your case in a better way that you might have never imagined. Opting for Family Law attorney Los Angeles or divorce law attorney Los Angeles is entirely your choice in order to take your divorce proceedings forward.  But the question arises is how a dedicated divorce lawyer can prove to be advantageous for your case?

You might be doing the divorce procedure once or many be twice but a divorce lawyer has gone through the same procedure numerous times, this specifies a divorce lawyer has an abundance of knowledge you cannot match. Although, you might be aware of the fact that the term divorce is entirely a legal procedure of ending the marriage  and this is the situation where a dedicated divorce lawyer plays an essential role.

Why do you need the services of a dedicated lawyer?

  • You require a skilled lawyer when you are getting a divorce from your partner. And your lawyer is the one who has all the experience you need to deal with your divorce case.
  • You must know that a dedicated lawyer has a thorough knowledge and understanding in order to assist you with the best and favorable ideas and suggestions and make you aware of human and material rights so that you have all the required guidance for your divorce case.
  • Handling the situation is not easy and things can be ugly and traumatic, so in this situation, it is advisable to hire an attorney that is entirely dedicated to your case.
  • Finding a dedicated and a good lawyer is not easy so it is really important for you to take out the time to research it well and choose the best for yourself. Moreover, it is highly recommended that you do not take your proceedings on your own. As you don’t want to make your case weak without knowing the rights and nature of the court. You may encounter many people who have taken the decision of handling their cases on their own just to save the legal fees, the less knowledge they have that will be paying much more than that in the long term, and will regret the decision of not hiring an attorney.
  • However, there are certain points on which you need to rely on dedicated attorneys such as when it comes to negotiating and dealing with property and other matters. A dedicated lawyer focuses on dividing the assets into both the parties equally and tries to keep matters sorted so that both the parties do not hold any grudges against each other.
  • A good and dedicated lawyer represents your case and tries to put light on all the matters that are necessary to be discussed and sorted out in a friendly manner. And why not? issues like custody and alimony are delicate matters and need to be managed carefully. A dedicated and skillful lawyer deals with each issue so that you do not have to face any problem after the case is closed.

Conclusion

Well, divorce procedure is hard and painful but however, you need to deal with it. To overcome that situation you need the proper guidance and right direction not only emotionally but also in your legal matters. In this situation, a dedication Family Law Attorneys Los Angeles can is everything that you need to figure out a scenario and get a clear picture. So, it advisable to hire an eligible attorney for your divorce case. I wish you all the luck that prevails!

Can Her Spouse and She Use the Same Lawyer During Their Divorce?

You are aware of the fact that divorce involves a lot of money and being one of the important decisions of your life you cannot afford to go wrong with your consulting and preparation as it is the matter of paperwork and documentation.

Well, in that case, you generally get the thought of hiring the same lawyer in order to save the penny. Whether it be family law lawyers Long Beach or divorce lawyers Long Beach you think about having the same. Nevertheless, the answer is a pretty clear NO, you cannot hire a mutual lawyer. to finalize your divorce, you’ll need to make decisions on these five things:

  1. Don’t let anger force you to divorce
  2. Share your desire to divorce someone you truly trust
  3. Don’t give up on your marriage until you have done everything you can to fix your problems
  4. Don’t get involved with anyone else
  5. Don’t leave an unhappy relationship until you can comfortably take care of yourself

Here are the reasons for not using the same lawyer for the divorce.

  • The first is quite evident, whenever you hire an attorney you hire it for your work. The attorney is hired specifically to represent you in front of the jury and only for your beneficiary.
  • Professionally it is strictly prohibited for any attorney to take the case from both the parties no matter if they have mutual consent either, the attorney is not allowed at all to take it.
  • The ethics and rules do not all allow any professional to indulge with the clients of the same conflicting interest. As they cannot provide the legal advice as there is no vision for them to take it further in whose interest, and naturally they will prefer doing it for the one who might offer them an extra amount than the other.
  • However, if you and your spouse willingly agree on most of the aspects involved in your divorce you can opt for the mediation. Well, the mediation not necessarily needs to be an attorney. Rather than choosing two different attorneys, you can go for the mediator, however, consulting a mediator who is an attorney is recommendable. As his/her unbiased guidance can help you with the process of the agreeable divorce agreement.
  • Mediator services don’t involve judgment so hir/her work is to get your mutual grounds on paper which is much better than doing it by yourself. Choosing an attorney-mediator can help you out on legal grounds as they are familiar with all the paperwork and process to get a divorce through the agreeable divorce agreement.
  • But if you acquire much knowledge and detailing you need not hire a mediator all you can do is hire an attorney who can complete all your paperwork. All you can do is sign the documents and let the attorney represent them in front of the jury, that sounds much easier now! and the attorney will just represent the points on behalf of the one who hired him/her.

Let’s understand the role of mediation with a neutral attorney

  • They help out the spouses to understand the law.
  • They help out the spouses for all sorts of documentation such as filling out the forms and exchange financial disclosures.
  • Well, they can also help you out to highlight the main issues for you to get the divorce.
  • Help out to generate the agreement with all the clauses and contract points that discussed with mutual consent.
  • Drafting the settlement agreement and working on details

Conclusion 

Hiring a single attorney-mediator is a better option as the couple can save the money who are trying to reduce divorce costs. But make sure you have the knowledge about all your legal rights or it can turn out to be costly and unaffordable. Make sure you have all the required knowledge about the agreement you are going have through the mediator or else can lead you into trouble and you don’t want to end things on a bitter note. I wish you all the luck that prevails!

———————————————Bio———————————————————————————-

At The Law Offices of Kyle R. Puro Our attorney is considered amongst the  Long Beach Family Law Attorneys , with her prime focus areas being Family Law including Divorce, Child Custody and Paternity Modifications.  We highly passionate about her cases and understands her clients’ requirements with patience to come up with the most apt solution to embark on their journey to another chapter in their life.

 

 

Tips For Getting Through The Holidays During Divorce

The holiday season can be hard to face when going through proceedings or newly divorced. If you want a quiet season, then let people know. They may be trying to fix you up with a date or adding your name to guest lists. Be direct and state that you will sit this one out and not be on the party circuit this year. Some divorcing people want to escape the frivolities and this is fine.

Get out of town

One way to get out of your environment is to go away and rent a flat, as one acquaintance did in Rome. She gorged herself on pasta, wine and ancient ruins. Another divorced friend went to Asia over these holidays on a tour. She enjoyed the sunshine and fabulous temples. Post-divorce, my sons and I took a cruise around New Zealand and to Australia. We felt the stress and tension from my acrimonious divorce melt away. It was healing. There are some great last minute deals for those that want to take a break from divorce in an exotic locale.

Distractions

Others may want the distraction of throwing themselves into the frenzy of the season. Individuals might revel in attending office parties, neighbourhood potlucks, films and more. There are plenty of places that you can go solo, to enjoy the festivities. I go to concerts at St. Martin- in- the- Fields in London by myself. Weeks before my marriage was over, I went to a Christmas pantomime of Cinderella. It was hilarious and took my mind off my situation, plus many other singles were in in the audience. Post-divorce I have gone by myself to the lighting of Oxford Street, yet have been surrounded by thousands. You can have fun going to functions alone, when no longer part of a couple.

Family gatherings

One can concentrate on family gatherings and avoid the rest of the seasonal events. Borrow some nieces and nephews and do kid related activities. Release your inner child by going ice skating or pursuing other amusements.

Start new holiday traditions

If you are a parent, ask your youngsters what holiday rituals that they would like to continue and what new things can be added. Shake up your routines during divorce and adopt a few new holiday traditions. This helps one to let go of the past and to move on. My sons and I changed what we do on Christmas. We substituted a big brunch for Christmas dinner and go to a movie. Afterwards, we partake in a simple, but elegant supper. The bonus is I now have more fun and am not stuck in the kitchen.

Be kind to yourself

Buy yourself a present, such as something pampering like a luxurious skin serum or decadent chocolates. One guy is purchasing fitness equipment this year that he has been coveting. Take a pause this season to put your feet up with a good book, go on a hike or whatever is rejuvenating. Whether or not you are staying in, consider the short-cut of buying delicious take away and bakery items to savour over the holidays. When feeling overwhelmed during divorce, see what can be eliminated in your life.

Co-parenting

When children are in the picture, you may be splitting up the holidays with the other parent. This is hard, so have an activity planned for their absence. Perhaps go over to your parents’ or get together with other singles for a meal. Some meet up with friends at the pub. Have a distraction ready, so that you are not sitting around feeling blue. My sons would ask me what I was going to do when they were gone. I did not want them to worry about me, so this forced me to find something enjoyable. Celebrations do not have to happen on the actual day and if presents are opened before or after Christmas, then okay.

Have more quality time

Post-divorce, I make less types of cookies, do less decorating and entertaining. Instead I have gained so much more quality time with my sons and am relaxed. I enjoy the holidays now that I am divorced, instead of running around ticking things off my to-do-list as I did when married. If you are struggling, talk to friends about your feelings. They can be a source of support.

This article was originally published on Paradigm Family Law’s web site in York, England.

How To Balance Your Child’s Time When Getting Divorced

Parents take decisions and children have to live with the consequences. The decision to divorce may be one of the hardest decisions a parent ever has to make, but the sad truth is, if handled the wrong way, it can be even worse for the children.

The good news is that handled the right way, divorce can be a manageable experience for children of any age. They may never be happy about it, but they can learn to come to terms with it, provided that they still get equal care and attention from both parents.

Here are some tips on making that happen.

Start by working out where children need to be and when   

In this context need means need and as such is non-negotiable. The most obvious example of places children need to be are school and bed. Block out these times and only these times. For the moment, ignore the issue of travel. Right now all that matters is where children need to be and when.

Then work out where parents need to be and when   

In addition to work, parents also need sleep time, plus they may need time for other matters like doctor’s appointments or other caring responsibilities, such as taking care of elderly relatives.

It may be possible, or even desirable, for children to be with them for some of these essential activities and where this is the case, make sure to take a note of this.

As before, ignore travelling time, focus purely on where parents need to be and when and if children can be there too.   

Move on to working out where and when the children have their key commitments 

In this context, key commitments means the places the children really want to be, so their most important activities. This could be anything from after-school clubs, to regular play-dates to being with grandparents. Again, ignore travelling time for now, just look at where children need to be and when.

Finally, work out where parents want to be and when. 

Parents need some downtime too, so acknowledge this and try to make it happen if at all possible.

Map out the best way to join all these dots 

In general, your order or priorities should be as listed above: children’s needs, parent’s needs, children’s wants and then, finally, parent’s wants. While you should, obviously, aim to give your children as many of their (reasonable) wants as possible and certainly do everything you can to ensure that they continue to make established commitments (unless you have reason to believe that they’d prefer to drop them anyway), the fact is that there’s no point in setting an expectation that you will do something if both parents need to be somewhere else and there is nobody to step in.   

Remember to factor in travel time and treat it as travel time 

The reason for ignoring travel time in the early stages was because the first priority was to establish where children and parents needed to be as a prerequisite to looking at the different options for getting them there.

When you actually start to look at ways to turn a set of points on a schedule into a workable routine, then it becomes important to think about the practicalities of getting from A to Z via all relevant points in between.

For the most part, in the real world, these commutes will be contact time with a parent (or other carer) but they will not, necessarily, be quality time, especially not if the trip is by car and the parent has to focus on the road.

In order to be fair to everyone, this reality should be acknowledged and factored into any discussions about how the children spend their time.

Do your best to leave blank space in everyone’s calendar

Life is going to happen and there needs to be some flexibility to cope with this. By leaving some blank space in everyone’s calendar, you give yourself room to manoeuvre when the need arises, which it almost certainly will.   

Focus on the moments rather than the minutes 

While it’s important that children spend fairly equal amounts of both contact time and quality time with both parents, they are not food items which can be split equally down the middle to give each parent an exact half.

Instead of parents worrying about making sure they get their “fair share” of their children’s time, focus on making time with the children precious so that they fully understand that, regardless of what is happening in their parent’s relationship, they are loved and valued by both the key people in their lives.    

Author Bio

Elizabeth Bilton is an accredited mediator and qualified solicitor for Midlands Dove, with a specialism in family law disputes. Elizabeth is one of only a few Mediators in the UK with an appropriate FMC accreditation to sign off on MIAMs required by the Family Court prior to an application being issued.

 

 

More Than Just A Snore: The Impact Snoring Can Have On A Marriage

Snoring can be incredibly annoying, especially if you aren’t the snoring partner. Many people are nighttime snorers, but did you know that over time it can cause problems for your marriage? Not only can snoring be a sign of a bigger health issue, but leaving it unchecked can progress into relationship issues no one wants to encounter.

So, just like you would work to get your child the help they need, you need to tackle a snoring issue with as much concentration.

What Can Cause Snoring

Anyone can be affected by snoring, and there are a variety of issues that can lead to snoring. Some common symptoms are:

  • Sleeping on your back
  • Nose or throat infection
  • Deviated septum
  • Obesity
  • Drinking alcohol
  • Sleep apnea

Now, most of those causes you have probably heard of before, except for maybe sleep apnea. This sleep disorder is triggered by your airway being blocked, leading you to wake up multiple times a night to restart your breathing. There are many complications associated with sleep apnea, and as snoring is one of the key sleep apnea symptoms, it is essential that the snoring partner is tested to rule out the problem.

How Snoring Can Impact Your Marriage

It can seem like hyperbole that snoring can have any real impact on your marriage, yet it can take a toll, especially as disruptive snoring can lead to heightened negative emotions.

For example, say your partner has started to snore loudly on a nightly basis. Not only can it be difficult to get to sleep if someone is snoring in your ear, but if your partner snores loudly enough to wake you up multiple times a night, it is highly likely that you will feel pretty irritable with the lack of sleep. And we all know when we feel irritated, it is far easier to pick fights and take offense to things we normally brush off.

In fact, researchers conducted a study that examined how married couples were affected by having one partner constantly woken up by snoring. Their initial survey revealed that people who slept near a snorer often had low satisfaction with their relationship, and often, communication deteriorated as tempers shortened with the lack of quality sleep.

Ways To Tackle Snoring As A Couple

Rather than allow snoring to become a wedge between you and your partner, there are ways to tackle snoring. Some of these solutions depend on the snoring partner taking action, but having a supportive partner to assist and cheer on can make all the difference as changes are made. Ways a snorer and their partner can tackle this sleep-disrupting issue is by:

  • Sleeping on their side, using supportive devices if needed.
  • Making sure they are not overweight and losing weight when necessary.
  • Being tested for sleep apnea, either with a home sleep test or sleep study.
  • Resolve allergies or infection to open airway.
  • Have surgery to correct nasal passageway issues, such as overly large adenoids or a deviated septum.
  • Avoid substances like muscle relaxants, alcohol, and nicotine.
  • Use a continuous positive airway pressure (CPAP) machine to reduce breathing stress.
  • Elevate the head so that it is slightly above the rest of the body.

While there are clearly other associated factors, snoring can be the catalyst that leads to serious  marital struggles. Do what is needed now, as managing a partner’s snoring is far easier than couples counseling, separation, or even divorce, when the right steps are taken.

Author of this article, Tyler Jacobson, enjoys going to the mountains near his home in Draper, Utah to connect with his wife and children through camping, hiking, and quality time together. When he isn’t rebooting in the outdoors, he shares his fatherly experiences with the world through writing and creative work. Tyler shares the ups and downs of family life and the solutions he’s found through lengthy research and involvement in the industry and his own experiences to help parents everywhere. Follow Tyler on: Twitter

 

Divorced? Here Is What To Do With Your Diamond Ring

A diamond wedding ring’s value and meaning to you will obviously change after divorce. However, that doesn’t mean its value goes away entirely. Although the marriage may be over, the ring is still worth something to someone. 

Selling a diamond is certainly an option; however,  a smart way to take advantage of this is to redesign your post-divorce diamond jewelry. Since you likely won’t want to keep the metal setting, removing the diamond and using it in a new way ensures it isn’t wasted. 

Are you interested in redesigning your divorce jewelry? If so, consider the following project ideas. 

A Necklace  

Setting a diamond into a necklace or making it a pendant is a simple but incredibly effective way to elevate a piece of jewelry.   

When planning your design, consider how every detail will impact the look of the necklace. The diamond may be the most noticeable feature, but it is by no means the only feature worth paying attention to.  

You also want to look into chain options. You want to decide whether adding pearls to the necklace will complement the diamond’s beauty, or distract from it. If you choose to add them, you want to make sure you pick the ideal size pearls. 

Luckily, this can be a fun experience, giving you the opportunity to explore and express your own personal creativity!

Earrings  

Earrings prove just how gorgeous a diamond can be. Despite being very small, diamond stud earrings can nevertheless transform any look.  

Thus, you might want to use the diamond from your old wedding ring to create half of one pair. Work with a jeweler to find a similar diamond for the other half, or if you prefer, simply wear one earring; some people find this unique twist to be very stylish.  

A New Ring  

It’s worth noting that redesigning your diamond jewelry after a divorce doesn’t need to involve completely changing the nature of it. If you like the look of a diamond ring, you can still remove the diamond from its original setting (it’s best to hire a professional to do this for you if you lack the proper experience) and insert it into a new setting. 

This is another instance when you should take the time to consider your preferences and tastes. Research different setting styles to find one that appeals to you.  

This is the most important point to keep in mind. For understandable reasons, you might assume the process of redesigning post-divorce jewelry will be upsetting.  

It certainly doesn’t have to be. Instead, it can be a joyful experience, giving you the chance to learn about yourself as you embark on the next stage in your life.

Author of this article  Rae Steinbach   is a graduate of Tufts University with a combined International Relations and Chinese degree. After spending time living and working abroad in China, she returned to NYC to pursue her career and continue curating quality content. Rae is passionate about travel, food, and writing.”

How to Navigate Celebrations After Divorce

Dealing With An Emotionally Abusive Spouse During A Divorce

Almost half of all marriages in the United States end in divorce or separation, and though many of these marriages end in amicable terms, some couples aren’t so lucky. Sometimes, a once well-mannered spouse will transform into a relentless bully. What makes this kind of bullying worse is that your ex knows your deepest fears and insecurities, making it easier for them to push your buttons.

Bullying in a divorce can manifest in different ways. Your partner could lie about past incidents or blow things out of proportion to make you look bad. They could isolate you from friends and family, or threaten to take full custody of the children and keep you away from them. They could turn into a cyberbully, harassing you on social media or over email.

Dealing with an abusive partner in a divorce can take a significant toll on your mental and emotional wellbeing. Thankfully, the situation isn’t unsalvageable. If you take the time to understand how you can handle an abusive partner, you can make the divorce more bearable.

Turn To A Support System

Divorcing a bully is a harrowing task, but having the right people around you can make it easier. Your support system will consist of professionals, like a lawyer and other consultants, as well as emotional support like your friends and family to keep you mentally balanced. Knowing that you have a group of people who have your back will make a world of a difference on especially bad days.

Keep A Record Of The Abuse

When you’re a victim of bullying, it’s easy to feel helpless and fall into despair. But you can stand up for yourself by taking note of your partner’s abusive behavior, recording every single detail. Take note of the date and time, how the abuse occurred, and be as detailed as you can. Then, take this data to your lawyer to see if they can help you stop the abuse by setting clear legal boundaries they cannot cross.

Prioritize Your Health And Safety

Bullying can result in a multitude of mental health issues, such as depression and anxiety. The emotional toll can also affect your physical health, weakening your immune system and causing problems like headaches, fatigue, and digestive issues. It’s easy to lose sight of your physical health when you’re in the middle of a difficult divorce, but make a point to take care of yourself by consuming healthy food, exercising, and engaging in activities that make you happy and calm. You could also consult a therapist to help you work through your issues.

Not all bullying partners are violent. But if you think that your ex could physically harm you and your kids, take steps to keep you and your children safe. If your ex was violent during your marriage, the chances of them lashing out on you during the divorce are significantly higher. If you feel that the risk is significant, speak to your lawyer about filing a restraining order.

Bullies often resort to abusive tactics to pressure you to give in to an outcome where you get the short end of the stick. Learn how to stand your ground and don’t let yourself get bullied into making a bad choice. Be kind to yourself. Remember that although things may be difficult now, this will all end eventually. Keep your chin up, and don’t lose heart.

Author of this article, Lucy Wyndham, is a freelance writer and former Financial Advisor. After a decade in industry, she took a step backward to spend more time with her family and to follow her love of writing.  

Key Differences Between Divorce and Mediation

Divorce can be an expensive business and if you get involved in a protracted court battle with your spouse then, at the end of the day, the only real winners, from any perspective, may be the lawyers. On the other hand, if you agree to a settlement without any legal representation, or have one imposed on you by a judge, then you might find yourself wishing that you had invested some money in good legal advice.

Mediation aims to square this circle. It does not replace legal advice, but it does aim to provide a secure with an impartial environment for two parties to talk, to be heard and to listen and, hopefully, to find a way forward on which they can both agree and which can then be translated into a formal legal agreement and, ultimately, signed off by a judge.

Divorce mediation is a specific branch of mediation, separate from family mediation  

The concept of mediation is nothing new and it has long been used in both commercial and domestic environments. Divorce mediation may have started out as a sub-niche of family mediation, but is now increasingly recognized as a distinct field with its own specific approach.

The main aim of divorce mediation is to allow the divorcing couple to reach an amicable agreement on their own terms without the expense of lawyers and without the confrontational atmosphere which can sometimes be generated when people enter a courtroom in a nervous state and with emotions running high. It will generally tackle the key sticking points in any divorce situation, including issues relating to children.

Divorce mediation can be a fairly lengthy process  

Although mediation (which focuses on solutions to problems) is very different from counselling (which focuses on reasons for behaviours) and can often achieve results in a much shorter time frame, the overall process might still be fairly lengthy, especially if children are involved.

The welfare of children is always paramount in any divorce process (at least in the eyes of the law and hopefully in the eyes of the parents) and can often be the most challenging aspect of a divorce to navigate since it can be both emotionally and practically challenging and, of course, will need to work for the children as well as the parents. Because of this, any arrangements involving children often work on the basis of an initial agreement, followed by a testing phase after which the success of the test is evaluated and, if necessary, adjustments made, after which it will be tested again until all parties (i.e. parents and children) are satisfied (or until it is agreed that the initial suggestion is not workable and a new approach is tried).

While a mediator will aim to be available to the parties for as long as they are needed, (and as long as they feel that their input is valuable), one of the underlying aims of mediation is to set up a situation where the mediator is no longer required and the parties can communicate with each other directly from a position of civility, respect and trust.

About the Author

  Midlands Dove are a team of mediation specialists based in the East Midlands, who focus on family mediation as well as workplace, civil and commercial mediation.

Ways To Set Boundaries During Divorce

Divorce brings many changes and one of them is a set of new boundaries. What was once okay may seem intrusive after a couple has separated. The key is to determine what feels right and what is uncomfortable. When married, a man and woman may have called each other during the day. This can be too much contact, so texting on a need-to-know basis is an appropriate boundary during divorce. In an acrimonious one, direct contact may be intimidating for either spouse. A way to protect boundaries in this situation, is to have all communication go to a neutral third party. This way, spouses feel safe and are not be the target of vindictiveness. Our two collaborative lawyers assigned a mediator right at the beginning to do this service for us.   If you feel boundaries are being trampled upon during the proceedings, speak to your attorney about how changes can be made.

The divorce process itself is stressful even when it is amicable.  One feels stretched in many directions. This is the time to start saying “No” to taking on new things Look at current obligations and decide which ones could be dropped. Although clubs, committees and volunteer work are rewarding, they can eat up precious time and drain energy.  Focus on what you really enjoy doing and let the others go.  Be firm with boundaries when others try to stop you from resigning or demand that you sign up for new projects.  Draw up a plan for what you have time for and which ones that do not make the cut.  This can be temporary and wham the divorce is over, some of these activities can be added back into your agenda.

On a personal level, you have the right to start declining requests to help out neighbors, family and friends.  If you give a co-worker rides, babysit for a pal or do other kind acts, this is the time to pull back.  Your first responsibility is to yourself and your children. Being frazzled helps no one.  When people do not support your new boundaries, stay firm.   For example, during divorce if it is no longer feasible to take Grandma out every week, do not let family members guilt trip you about it. Stand your ground when being unable to continue routines.

A sticky issue with boundaries comes up during proceedings regarding the marital home. Technically both spouses are co-owners. Establish guidelines regarding how the spouse that moved out has access, especially when their possessions are still inside.   Please read more  www.divorcemag.com/blog/setting-boundaries-during-divorce/

9 Tips for Men Facing Financial Hardships During Divorce

As a man facing divorce, there is a lot you go through with little support. You might be constantly wondering how things will turn out at the other end- whether or not you will get enough time with your kids, how you and your spouse will work everything out, and so on. One of the major concerns for fathers getting divorced is the time and money spent on the process.

Some men understand the importance of saving money during the divorce process; for other men, some critical divorce issues end up hogging most of their attention. Either way you look at it, finances are a pressing matter worthy of concern during a divorce process.

Since divorces come with a price tag, it is important to consider how much you can afford to shell out in the process. The last thing you want is a lot of money wasted in the divorce process.

Maintain your desired quality of life throughout the divorce process by using these tips.

Build a Trustworthy Team

While going through a divorce, men are often prone to feeling intense emotions. The emotionally charged circumstances might compel you to make the wrong choices. This is when you need a trusted financial advisor, lawyer, and accountant by your side.

These professionals can help you make wise financial decisions all through the divorce process, allowing you to save money you might have otherwise spent in the spur of the moment. Financial decisions should be based on logic more than on emotions. Seek help from a trusted team of professionals to guide you along the economic lines.

Expensive is NOT Always Worthy

Quit believing that all expensive services are the best. You might feel inclined to hire the most expensive lawyer in town to win child custody for men in New Jersey and negotiate alimony.

However, a lot of other factors play a role in determining how efficient any professional is.

Expensive is not always the best. Take the time to understand in depth all the services you need and make informed financial decisions. Considering your spending power and your post-divorce future will help you create a spending limit. Learn about the quality of services offered by various professionals (therapists, lawyers, financial assistants, etc.) and ponder their importance to your situation. Calculated spending will prevent you from wasting money in useless places.

Separate Your Cards and Financial Accounts

You don’t want an emotional drama surrounding finances while going through a divorce. If they are not already, separate your joint accounts and credit cards right away. This will save you the hassle of monitoring how much you or your spouse is spending after filing for divorce.

Often, these issues spring up during the divorce process, opening channels to unnecessary disputes. Reduce the potential for conflict and keep finances straight and simple throughout the divorce process.

Get a Real Picture of Your Budget

Family lawyers for men in Nutley, NJ suggest fathers and men going through a divorce plan and chalk out their budgets during divorce. They also encourage their clients to project their financial needs post-divorce.

The financial picture changes a lot after divorce with one less adult contributing to the household. If there are children involved in your case, consider how much you will potentially spend on their needs.

Track your expenses and cut back where you can. Outlining a crystal-clear budget will help you predict financial responsibilities and plan your expenditure during divorce accordingly.

Straighten Out Financial Imbalances   

If your spouse has always kept track of finances, this needs to change. Try to keep up with the finances as soon as you file for a divorce. You need to know how much money comes into the household and where it is spent. If your spouse has been in charge of finances up until now, ask them to involve you.

Knowing about the flow of finances in your household will help you negotiate a fair settlement when you enter the divorce process. Get on a level footing with your spouse when it comes to handling finances and documenting them.

Set into a New Lifestyle

There are a lot of changes after a divorce. Your income might not allow you to keep the family home, and you might have to do away with some of your habits that involve spending heavily.

Get into a fresh lifestyle where you prioritize your needs and responsibilities and plan finances wisely. Your post-divorce living standard will likely drop to some extent. Prepare for the change to make the process easier.

It makes sense to downsize your expenses and move into a smaller home until you can get back on your feet and afford the lifestyle you are used to.

Strive for Financial Independence

Fathers’ rights allow men to receive alimony payments when their spouse was the higher earner in the household. Either way, aim to be financially independent and not rely on your spouse’s child support or alimony. Life can take unexpected turns, and your spouse might lose their job or need to take time off from work.

When that happens, you should be in a condition to support yourself and your children. Focus on improving your earning capacity so you are prepared to take on any financial challenge in the future.

Protect Valuable Assets

If your spouse might hide or sell assets that were purchased with marital funds, protect them. Know that these assets will be valued and split during the divorce process.

Safeguard these assets while not hiding the fact that they are in your possession. Never sell any property you bought with marital cash during the course of a divorce. You will need to pay for any sold assets at the time of the divorce settlement negotiations.

Avoid Impulsive Decisions

Family lawyers for men advise you to refrain from making any major financial decisions for at least 6 months during your divorce process and after your divorce gets finalized.

Don’t move to a new city or change your job on impulse.

Family lawyers for men believe that with a little caution and patience, men can sail through these hard times. Adapt to circumstances and be prepared for a challenging financial future; men are often the ones who pay child support and alimony while also supporting their own lifestyle.

While divorce can be frustrating and devastating, it’s like any other change that feels highly uncomfortable at first until you settle down in the routine. Know that things will get better. Continue to make the right choices. It is also desirable to take help from therapists to keep your sanity intact and financial advisors to get a clearer picture of your finances and plan ahead of time.

About Author :-

Brad M. Micklin, Esq., is the lead family lawyer Montclair and managing member at The Micklin Law Group, LLC. For more than 22 years, he has helped men through some of the toughest, most emotional experiences in their lives, including child custody battles.

Divorce with a Narcissist or Sociopath

Both the Narcissist and Sociopath (anti-social personality disorder) are toxic people who are difficult to deal with during divorce. There are subtle differences between these two types of characters. The main point is a Narcissist craves attention and adoration. She has to be the star, whereas that is not the case with a Sociopath. A Narcissist will specifically seek out publicity and a Sociopath wants power over others. A Narcissist will have a position in a charity organization that is in the spotlight such as managing director. The Sociopath is more likely to be the one embezzling funds. The Narcissist desires being in the news and the Sociopath is flying under the radar avoiding that in order to carry out nefarious deeds.

Sociopaths do not have a conscience and their moral code is “do not get caught.” At a young age a Sociopath is apt to torture animals and torment those weaker than him. This child is charming to adults with exaggerated good manners as a smoke screen to disguise his true nature. They have a sense of entitlement and do not hesitate to trample upon anyone who gets in their way. Some of the financial executives who do inside trading and other illegal acts told the press that they did nothing wrong. In their eyes, this is correct.

Both manipulate others for their gain. They blame others when they make mistakes or life is not going as planned. They can ignore family or belittle spouses. Narcissists especially do not like it if a spouse rises up the career ladder and has a more important position. They do not want to share the spotlight. Sociopaths can have a volatile temper which is unpredictable and is especially scary for children.

Sociopaths may have their children join in their immoral or illegal activities.

. They watch pornography with their sons. Criminal families may bring the kids into the business at a young age. The youngsters participate in a shoplifting or burglary ring. In my area recently, three generations of several families were plying the drug trade together.

Narcissists use their kids as a way to garner more attention to themselves. They play the good parent role and march the children around the office to get praise. They see the kids as an extension of themselves and may insist that their kids follow in their footsteps. A former dancer may demand that her daughter does ballet. These parents want to bask in the admiration that surrounds their child. They want others to comment that the offspring is like their talented, beautiful, etc. parent.

In divorce, both personality disorders are capable of using the kids to get back at their other parent in retaliation. Since the Sociopath feels no remorse, they may be the more dangerous adversary. Be cautious of safety issues especially with a sociopath co-parent. Neither are good at negotiating since they want the whole pie. The Narcissists get through the divorce process better with lots of compliments and letting them feel like they are the star. With a Sociopath, emphasize maintenance and child support formulas to make it more impersonal. More drama and emotions can prolong divorce hearings. Having a divorce coach or therapist at least periodically check in with the children is prudent.

Both Narcissists and Sociopaths may act like they are the victim and you are the villain.  They may charm your family members and end up with a few in their camp post-divorce. They are attempting to hurt you.  My sons and I have said good riddance to the ones who sided with their father. Sociopaths particularly excel in power plays and want to dominate others. Consider avoiding doing battle with these people and stay out of their way if possible.

Originally published in The Divorce Magazine  www.thedivorcemagazine.co.uk/

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