Helping Kids Care for Themselves: Parental Strategies That Work
Growing up in our modern world is as challenging as ever. Part of our job as co-parents is to give children the skills for handling whatever comes their way. The following guide from Wendi’s Tips explores a few practical tactics for raising self-sufficient individuals that are unafraid of tackling life’s challenges.
Modeling Behavior
We come into our lives without knowing anything, so growth begins through imitation. Infants and toddlers, especially, learn by copying adults. Caregivers that overly rely on digital entertainment for occupying tykes risk granting Hollywood too much influence. Circumvent this by switching off devices and engaging in family time. One substitute is instituting a game night. The presence of healthy competition allows you to demonstrate how to lose gracefully and that failure isn’t a tragedy. As a bonus, many games teach fundamentals, such as numbers and colors.
Should your child flip over the board in a fit of rage, take the opportunity to discuss different coping practices. For instance, punching a pillow is a harmless approach to burning away anger. Writing down frustrations and tearing the paper into tiny pieces can also provide emotional release. Meditation requires more time and knowledge but has longer-lasting effects. When outside forces cause grownup stress, let young ones observe you washing away frustration through Eastern practices.
Another refocusing technique is exercise. Make physical activity a joyful experience by turning it into a performance or family dance party. If your child is more an artist than an athlete, draw, paint, or otherwise get messy while putting feelings on canvas. Storytelling allows youth to divulge serious issues they might not be comfortable addressing directly. Set the stage for expressing inner observations by weaving a tale of your own.
Creating Peace
The first step to a peaceful, healthy home environment is to make sure that the products you purchase, whether kitchen gadgets or toys, are conducive to health and safety. To learn about potential purchases, it’s best to seek out unbiased reviews online. A good review can fill you in on need-to-know information about a product’s quality, which can keep you from making a poor purchase decision.
It’s easiest for everyone to be calm in an environment that facilitates that end. Start by decluttering, which has the benefit of making the air healthier. Tossing junk also creates additional room for activities and supports clear thinking.
Refresh your newly decluttered space with houseplants. Choose flora that’s ideal for boosting moods and reducing stress. Involve juveniles by allowing them to pick a few they find appealing. That and assigning them watering duties should help them bond with nature. Position plants in spots with ample light so they’ll grow. Keep blinds and shades open, as exposure to the sun also positively affects humans and pets. Using an oil diffuser makes homes smell fresh and happy. Be careful that the one you choose cannot harm your pets.
Your peaceful home should also extend to your yard, which should be an enticing place for you and your children to play. To help keep your yard looking its best, search online for an aeration service near you. You can quickly find a list of companies that can perform yard maintenance along with customer reviews and ratings. This can help you make an informed decision about who to hire.
Prioritizing Youth
Besides creating a calm house and showing children how to deal with setbacks, positive growth is dependent on spending quality time around one another. Fulfilling this responsibility as a single parent can be tricky, especially during busy times of the year. The best way of assuring your kids get the attention they need is by creating a plan, which should make reaching your goal less stressful.
Daily routines you might want to incorporate into your household lifestyle include bedtime rituals, such as teeth brushing and book reading. Before suppertime, set the expectation that kids complete simple chores around cooking duties. As a reward for completing these tasks, plan a day trip to an offbeat museum or age-appropriate escape room. These excursions will give your entire tribe something worth anticipating.
Divorce and life as a co-parent can be both challenging and scary, so follow Wendi’s Tips for help navigating this phase of you and your children’s lives.
Author Janice Russell believes the only way to survive parenthood is to find the humor in it. She created Parenting Disasters so that parents would have a go-to resource whenever they needed a laugh, but also to show parents they aren’t alone. She wants every frazzled parent out there to remember that for every kid stuck in a toilet, there’s another one out there somewhere who’s just graced their parents’ walls with some Sharpie artwork!
Spring and Summer Safety: Tips to Protect Your Kids
As parents, we instinctively want to shield our kids from danger. Sometimes, however, the outdoors can present hazards we might not even dream of, especially during the warmer months of the year. Courtesy of Jack Jack the Cat, we share some tips for ensuring your children are protected.
Outdoor Inspection
Even if you took precautions last fall, it may be time to tidy up once spring arrives, as winter can be hard on a home’s exterior. Take a walk around your property, looking carefully for potential concerns. Trim trees and shrubs to prevent growth from encroaching on your home, and cut them back at least two feet to keep pests from getting too cozy or to eliminate any hazards to your children.
You should also inspect the fence that surrounds your property, if you have one. Make sure there are no areas that need to be replaced or repaired. Strong fences are especially important if you live in a high traffic area or a neighborhood with a low walk score. In other words, if foot traffic is low because the area doesn’t have many shops within walking distance, then you are likely to experience more auto traffic. Then, a good fence is important for your kids’ and your home’s safety.
Also, sometimes when we live with things, we don’t think of them in terms of posing dangers. Eliminate sources of standing water such as toys left in the yard or flipped open garbage bin lids, as they also provide opportunities for mosquitoes and other pests to thrive.
Pool Safety
Pools are an obvious source of potential danger. If you have a pool, the Red Cross recommends having your children take swimming lessons. It’s vital to keep ladders and steps secure to prevent children from falling into the water, and remove ladders when the pool is not in use. Install protective barriers and use a safety cover. Also keep the water clean and ensure the chemicals are at the right levels.
Secure Equipment
Outdoor equipment can be inviting to curious children. Ensure items such as grills, lawn care equipment and electrical appliances are secured properly. Pick up and properly stow sharp objects and tools. Also lock storage sheds, garages and barns, and install childproof locks on gates.
Sun Exposure
Just like adults, kids need some sunshine to help their bodies produce vitamin D. However, too much can damage your youngster’s skin. Raising Children explains it’s particularly important to keep toddlers and babies safe from damaging ultraviolet rays. Dress your child appropriately, using a hat to protect your child’s head from the sun’s rays. Infants do best in soft hats that allow babies to relax comfortably. Choose one with a chinstrap or tie, and if your little one objects, keep trying until she or he accepts it as part of the normal routine.
Also, prolonged exposure to sunshine puts your child at risk for future cataracts. Sunglasses can help guard against damage to your child’s eyes; opt for close-fitting, wraparound glasses for the best protection.
Riding Toys
A big part of warm weather fun is getting on a tricycle, skateboard or bike. If your youngster has riding toys that come out as soon as temperatures rise, ensure the proper safety equipment is at hand. Some experts recommend helmets when riding on toys, but note helmets should be removed for playground or swing set play as they pose choking hazards.
When using strollers, use the safety straps provided by the stroller manufacturer, and if your baby is too little to sit up on her own, steer clear of hauling her in wagons with low sides. If your kids are old enough for bicycling on streets, Healthline notes you should teach them the rules of the road, such as riding the same direction as traffic, obeying traffic signals, using hand signals, watching for other vehicles and not riding on sidewalks.
Preparations Mean Safety
Keeping your child safe is one of your first priorities. Warm months present special hazards, but with proper preparations you can prevent tragedy. Working parents often need support during the summer, like trading play dates with neighbors or having a teenager watch the kids while you work. It’s important that you share these tips with anyone who might be watching your child so that everyone involved provides your child with a safe environment through carefully thought-out precautions.
If you’re looking for some summer reading options, check out Jack Jack the Cat. Whether Jack Jack is at home or exploring the jungle, he is sure to find himself in the middle of an adventure. Check our website for more information about Jack Jack and his weekly adventures for plenty of summertime fun.
How to Make Remote Work Possible With a Baby or Toddler at Home
Over the last year, more and more people have had to transition to learning how to work remotely. Even as COVID-19 cases have been reduced, the odds are good that many parents are working out of a home office for the time being. Although remote work limits your risk of spreading the coronavirus, it’s also a major productivity challenge all on its own. Add a very little one to the mix, and things can get hectic, fast.
However, there are ways you can keep your cool, stay productive, eliminate household stress, and manage your household all at once. Wendi’s Tips shares some of the best techniques working parents can use to get through the next few months with their sanity intact.
Dress for Comfort
When you’re taking care of a little one, you’re on the go a lot. Parents of young children spend a lot of time kneeling down, playing on the ground, and chasing after budding crawlers and walkers. If you don’t have access to child care, this is still going to be true while you’re working remotely. The fact that you’re also going to be juggling work is only more reason to focus on wearing comfy clothes.
Now, we’re not saying you should stay in your pajamas all day — that’s not the world’s best look on video calls. However, split the difference with comfortable, fashionable items. You can get yourself a whole cozy remote work wardrobe without spending too much if you keep your eye out for sales at shops like Dillards. This can be an especially good move for new moms — elastic waistbands are your friend for those first few months.
Get Help If Possible
Depending on your situation, you may be able to ask a local friend or family member to bubble up with you and be a dedicated babysitter. Your parents, siblings, or close friends might be willing and able to take this on for you. Have a clear open conversation about what level of quarantine and self-isolation everyone wants out of the bubble. It’s important to be on the same page in order to make sure no one inadvertently crosses a line.
However, we understand that this won’t be feasible for everyone. If you can’t find anyone who can bubble with you, you might still be able to get a little bit of babysitting out of interested loved ones. For example, you can look into setting a friend up as your virtual babysitter. This works by setting your child up with a video chat with the friend or family member in question. It’s not a perfect solution — you definitely still need to be in the room so you can keep your little one safe — but they can hold your child’s attention while you knock out a task or two. Remember, video chats are thought to be a healthy, productive form of screen time!
Ask for Flexibility
At the end of the day, your best bet over the next few months might be asking for flexibility at work. For example, you might ask if, apart from meetings, you can work during non-traditional work hours. If you have a partner who also works from home, see if you can organize it so one of you works earlier than the traditional 9–5 and the other, later. This will give both of you more time to dedicate your full attention to your child or your work, rather than try to split it between both.
Enhance Your Career Prospects
Now that you’re working remotely, have you considered giving your career a boost? Online degree programs allow you to complete your coursework from home and work at a pace that you can adapt to your family obligations. There are all sorts of online programs available, including those with degrees for business, teaching, nursing, and accounting.
These aren’t the only options, so go into the conversation with an open mind and a few ideas for what might work. You and your supervisor can collaborate to come up with a solution that works for your family and your team. Remember — this is all temporary. Come up with a plan for the next few months, and try to take things one day at a time. Soon, this will all be behind you.
Author Janice Russell believes the only way to survive parenthood is to find the humor in it. She created Parenting Disasters so that parents would have a go-to resource whenever they needed a laugh, but also to show parents they aren’t alone. She wants every frazzled parent out there to remember that for every kid stuck in a toilet, there’s another one out there somewhere who’s just graced their parents’ walls with some Sharpie artwork!
Creative Child Care Solutions As A Single Parent
It can be challenging juggling childcare as a single parent. The key is to have Plan B. Seems children get sick when a parent has a mandatory meeting or work project. Enlist people ahead of time to be available in case of an emergency. Several parents I know have used up all of their stick leave on ill babies and toddlers. They learned the hard way to have someone on speed dial for that eventuality. Talk to a neighbour to see if they are able to be a last-minute fill in if your little one needs to come home from school. Possibly a friend who works from home can plug a childcare gap when you have to be on the job. You can reciprocate the favour another time.
If you have your own office it may be feasible to bring along an older child who is recovering. Pack books, art supplies and snacks. My insurance agent allows his secretary to have her son there after school every day while she does her tasks She has her boy go into the waiting area when a client needs to speak to her. Maybe you can make arrangements to work at home if your child has a stomach bug. Several offices permit older kids to take over the conference room during a bank holiday or short break. This helps the organizations to keep their employees on the job. Some hospitals and companies have nurseries, like the one I attended where my mother was a nurse. Ask co-workers how they are handling their childcare needs.
If you are able to negotiate with your co-parent, perhaps you can split up school holidays. Then neither one of you has to find childcare for the entire period. Some divorced people remain on good terms with former in-laws who are happy to babysit. They enjoy seeing the grandchildren and the single parent on a tight budget gets a break. In one case, a woman’s former mother-in-law watched her daughter and a divorced friend’s one also. The girls had great fun with that gran.
Talk to your friends and see if they are willing to share a nanny. Parents I know hired a caregiver who watches a group of children and rotates houses on a weekly basis. It is cheaper when more parents share a caregiver. I did this with my older son. One’s family can help out too. My mum did some of the school runs after my divorce.
If you and your friends are on flexible or different work schedules, consider watching each other’s kids. This also is helpful when you want a bit of time to yourself or to get errands done quickly. Check into what clubs or activities there are after school. Often, they are free or low cost. Scouts, sports and chess are a few of them. My mother sent me to sleep over or day camp when she wanted to pick up extra shifts as a nurse. Then she had a block of time to be off from the hospital to spend with me.
When married, I ran a medical practice plus was the nurse. Soon after my divorce I changed jobs within my profession that would better suit my childcare needs. I became a school nurse with a work schedule that coincided with my sons’ one. See if you can change jobs or tweak the one you already have. My solicitor that I hired for post-divorce issues, left the law office everyday by 4 pm to be with her young daughter. She returned e-mails or read documents when the girl was doing homework or in bed. Other people have been able to adjust their jobs to work part-time from home.
Your children’s teachers can be a resource for childcare. They are usually up-to-date on what is available in the community and may know individuals who babysit. There are web sites who post caregivers and their credentials. It seems like only a few months ago I was juggling childcare and now I have an Empty Nest.
Originally published in The Divorce Magazine thedivorcemagazine.co.uk
Dealing with Empty Nest and How to Thrive
An Empty Nest is especially challenging for parents who face yet another loss after divorce. People may be experiencing the different stages of grief with their divorce, and now also mourn what was and may never be again with their child. One goes through anger and eventually moves on to acceptance in the cycle of grief, as time goes by. This is the period to reinvent yourself and discover long last passions. Having a quiet house seemed to be one of the worst things for me. I brought my stereo system out of hibernation and got some tiny new speakers. I joined the vinyl craze in the states and bought some new records. Listening to old favorites with my cats around, makes loneliness a thing of the past and both of my college age sons enjoy listening to these classics when they are home.
There are ways to make this transition a little easier and reduce the loneliness that may come with the empty nest syndrome:
- Schedule something fun to do immediately after your child leaves for school. I had a facial a few hours after my youngest son left for uni and required this pampering. The kind therapist let me express my sadness as she massaged lovely aromatherapy oils on my skin. The next morning I had a latte with a pal, and a movie with another one later in the day. I met with friends for the first several days of this transition.
- Get together with other Empty Nesters for support and fun. My friend Patti formed a group with her son’s classmates’ parents and they meet once a month. It used to be for tears, but now it is for laughter and camaraderie.
- Delay doing big projects until after your child is gone. This is the time to organize your home office or tackle the mess in your garage. Being focused on a large task, decreases time to dwell on one’s new situation.
- Expand your social or professional groups. I joined a MeetUp.com group and can go out weekly for lattes, lectures or other activities. I joined Toastmasters International to become a more effective speaker.
- Join some groups and organizations. The Women’s Institute (WI) evolved from traditional activities during WW1, to fencing, DIY classes and teaching other skills now. The WI is having a resurgence of new members with many in their 30’s. There is even a WI goth group in London. I have discovered many new Scandinavian authors from my book club.
- Go back to school for pleasure classes or to advance your career. I took a computer class after my son left. An acquaintance obtained her teaching degree during her Empty Nest period. She was so busy with these courses that she barely had time to think about her kids that had flown the nest.
- Get out of your comfort zone and build self-esteem. This is the time to climb up Kilimanjaro or find charity treks around the UK or far flung places. Expand your fitness level as you train for these endeavors or join an exercise class. I started Zumba and Tai Chi during this episode.
- Consider hosting a foreign exchange student for a few weeks or a school year. You will have a student who needs care and advice in your home. You may end up with a new family member for life as some people have told me. These people enjoyed learning about other cultures and visiting their “kids.”
- Take a trip to get away and be in a new environment. Visit old friends who may be going through the Empty Nest as well. Go overnight to a nearby spa for some pampering.
- Volunteer and give something back to others. I love feeling needed with my weekly volunteering at a cat rescue group. The kitties purr with their appreciation. Consider adopting a new pet. If unable to commit, foster a cat or dog short-term.There was a study released in the states that indicated a correlation with getting breast cancer around eighteen months after the last child left home. When I thought about the people I know who had breast cancer, this was the time that they discovered it as well. A woman told me this week that her surgeon said there is a connection between strong sad emotions and the occurrence of some prostate and breast cancer. This research of emotional states increasing the risk for cancer is in its early stages, but I am having as much fun as possible to decrease my chances for it.Originally published in The Divorce Magazine thedivorcemagazine.co.uk