Sign Up for
Our Newsletter

Global Guide to Divorce

Jack Jack the Cat

Keeping Healthy in Body

Keep Children’s Well-Being First During Divorce

Think about your children’s well-being in the midst of divorce, when you feel like going into battle with their other parent. Divorce results in the breakdown of the relationship between two adults. However, the fallout can greatly affect the little ones. An amicable divorce means that they go between two happier homes. A contentious one turns into war, with the youngsters getting caught in the crossfire.

Divorce triggers anger and hurt feelings. These emotions are expressed to the spouses’ lawyers, not to children. A way to keep kids out of the divorce is to decide on a similar mantra. Each parent says something along this line, “We are no longer marital partners, instead we will be co-parents” or “Divorce is between us. We still love you.” No mention of cheating or other vices. Just a simple message given by both parents.

Children want to be reassured that both of you will still be in the picture. No abandonment or feeling that they have to choose sides. A change in living arrangements will be happening. Even if one parent moves out of town, frequent contact and specified visitation will be arranged. Skype and phone calls can also be done between visitations, when both former spouses live in the same city.

Fear of the unknown can be frightening. Kids have vivid imaginations and can envision a worst-case scenario. They might dream up something that would never happen. They require reassurances that their lives will continue as before in many areas. Have a discussion with the children about their concerns, such as whether or not they will remain in the same school. Let them know that sports and after school activities will continue. They will still have their friends. Help kids to stay in touch with grandparents and relatives from both sides. This constancy in their lives will enable them to get through this crazy divorce period. Have them carry on with activities that have been enjoyable, such as helping Grandpa in the garden or baking cookies with Grandma.

I have heard parents congratulating themselves for “putting their children first” during and after divorce. What I have witnessed as a school nurse did not always jive with their noble intention. Plenty of students of divorcing parents ended up in my office with stress related conditions. Teachers have complained how the youngsters were bringing their parents’ divorce dramas into the classrooms. Fortunately in the schools, there are some well-adjusted children whose parents have divorced. These parents deserve five gold stars for co-parenting. What is their secret? “Put your ego aside.” This group revealed that they truly put their kids’ needs first. By being on the same page with the same philosophy, it made co-parenting easier. Ironically, some confided that the relationship between their former partner was better post-divorce.

Take a look at your situation. Are you saying anything at all about the other parent? Are you going into details regarding the divorce?  Please read more

Keeping Healthy in Body, Mind, and Spirit, After Divorce

photo-1498568715259-5c1dc96aa8e7 - CopyAnyone who has been through a divorce will easily understand why the process ranks second in the iconic Holmes and Rahe stress scale. Such a big change in one’s personal life has a significant impact on your financial situation, home stability, and, sometimes, social status. Living a happy, healthy life post-divorce can be challenging, but it can definitely be achieved by keeping your body and mind in optimal shape. In this post, we discuss the importance of approaching health in an integrated manner, during the post-divorce weeks and months.

What Happens to Your Body when You are Stressed?

Stress is more than a state of worry or anxiety; when present chronically, it can cause elevated blood pressure, digestive problems, and headaches, and it is linked to obesity, heart disease, and diabetes. There are no big secrets when it comes to being physically fit. Daily exercise (aim for 30 to 40 minutes) and a sound, Mediterranean diet (comprising lean proteins, seasonal fruits and veggies, nuts, and healthy fats such as olive and flaxseed oil) are key.

Foods for Life and Adaptogens

Stressful times call for extra measures, and this means placing a bigger emphasis on life-enhancing superfoods such as apples (linked to a reduce risk of cardiovascular disease and diabetes), apricots (which are a known immunity booster) and blueberries (rich in anthocyanin, a flavonoid thought to reduce the risk of cancer, heart disease, and diabetes). These are just a few of a vast list of superfoods, so feel free to experiment with new ones depending on the results you wish to achieve.

Back these up if you are feeling low with amazing adaptogens. As noted by beauty guru, Leslie Kenton, these are herbs and roots that “improve your ability to adapt to all forms of stress, while at the same time helping to normalize its biochemical effects.”

Some of the best known adaptogens include Siberian ginseng (thought to promote better sleep, increased stamina, and clearer thinking), suma (a wild root said to raise energy levels and increase endurance), and echinacea (an excellent detoxifying supplement).

Making Room for Mindfulness

Mindfulness based activities such as yoga and meditation are currently used across the globe in top centers catering to a numerous conditions, including eating disorders, depression, anxiety, and substance abuse.

Yoga is also recommended to deal with stress caused by diseases such as breast cancer, prostate cancer, and heart disease, with researchers strongly recommending this millenary practise as a complementary therapy following their successful findings.

Study after study has shown that yoga, meditation and even Tai Chi significantly lower levels of stress hormone, cortisol, and boost energy levels and mood. Scientists belief their success has to do with their emphasis on mind-body control and on pranayamic breathing (which is a powerful way to stop a panic attack in its tracks, as well as keep the mind ‘in the here and now’, instead of focused on the past or in a state of worry about the future).

When going through a divorce, it is vital to approach health and fitness from a multi-faceted perspective that encompasses both traditional healthy nutrition and exercise, as well as activities that work on a mental and spiritual plane. By committing to yourself and exercising self-compassion, health and wellbeing can be two core values that shape your life for the better.

 Author of this article, Lucy Wyndham, is a freelance writer and former Financial Advisor. After a decade in industry, she took a step backward to spend more time with her family and to follow her love of writing.