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Global Guide to Divorce

Jack Jack the Cat

keeping it together during divorce

How to Keep Your Sanity When Getting Divorced

There are ways to get through the divorce process in an easier manner. Allow yourself to fully feel and express your emotions. Keeping a “stiff upper lip” or bottling up angry feelings prolongs getting over an issue or risks an explosion in the courtroom.  I would scream in the car when driving on an isolated stretch of road, saying what was happening was not fair. I was quite calm when arriving home afterwards. One divorcing person stated: “Honestly, in my darkest moments, the only thing that helps me is laying on the floor in front of my altar and allowing myself to cry for as long as I need to.  In these times, the pain is so intense that I can barely move.  And because I’m in that state, I am able surrender to it (because there is nothing else I can do!) and surrender to God…knowing that eventually the pain will shift.  And knowing (reminding myself) that the pain will shift, helps me tremendously.  Every single time I think “this pain is too great…I cannot survive….” I am proven wrong.  It DOES shift.  The waves of emotion come and go.  Knowing that has helped me every single day!”

Shari’s husband had an affair which led to their divorce and has this advice: “Consciously breathing into my heart helps me tremendously. It’s about going into the feeling/emotion and sticking with it….knowing that only I can shift it, only I can ultimately heal myself.  Being willing…not looking to the outside…recognizing that LOVE is always there deep inside me.  Imagining my teacher, Amma, holding me is soothing.  (My real mother did not do this for me).  Using the imagination and visualization process helps me feel the deep LOVE that is ultimately me.  (I can go into fear quite easily but visualizing being in Amma’s arms helps me align with LOVE instead).”  Centering herself with deep breathing now helps Shari face whatever is in her path.

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