The Biggest Benefits of Decluttering After Divorce
Dealing with a divorce might be one of the most challenging things you have ever faced. It isn’t going to be easy, but it’s one of those times and opportunities life gives you to come back stronger than ever before and to blossom into your newly discovered self. Nevertheless, don’t forget that allowing yourself to grieve is an integral part of healing. But, the crucial moment is the beginning of a new chapter in your life. This is why decluttering after divorce has numerous benefits. Therefore, in this article, globalguidetodivorce.com will share its numerous benefits to your healing journey.
Why decluttering after divorce is essential
Since dealing with a divorce is usually overwhelming and tiring, you might not feel capable of cleaning and decluttering your home and choose to postpone it. Nevertheless, even if it is painful, it needs to be done – like ripping off a bandage. If you choose to postpone it, it might hurt more after some time to stir up your feelings by going through the items that remind you of your former spouse. Therefore, decluttering as soon as possible is an essential part of the road to recovery after divorce. So, please don’t put it off; gather the strength to do it, and let the healing process begin.
Decluttering your home after a divorce can reduce stress and anxiety
There is nothing better than clearing your home to clear out your mind. Many feng shui experts state that individuals who don’t keep unnecessary things in their homes are more relaxed and less likely to feel stress and anxiety. Creating more space lets you breathe – is a sentence used quite often.
Many individuals opt for minimalistic decorations precisely for this reason. They don’t give out the feeling of a cluttered space that holds no room for anything else, and that can be suffocating when you are going through a sensitive period in your life. Besides, decluttering after divorce will ensure that you take the first step to let go of the past. And once you do, there will be no more room for stress or anxiety. You will see how liberating it can feel to let go. Therefore, out with the old and in with the new.
Caption: Decluttering after divorce means creating space for new and positive things in your life. The sooner you start decluttering, the sooner you start healing.
How to declutter
While you may not be eager to eliminate the memories that were a part of your life for so long, it is crucial for moving on. Throwing away anything that isn’t necessary or useful to you on your healing journey is a move for the bold, but it is fine if you are not ready for this step. There are many more alternatives. Go easy on yourself. It is entirely normal to still feel connected to specific items that remind you of pleasant times. However, if they trigger painful memories, it might be a good idea to hide them for a while. For example, preparing your items for storage is an excellent step forward. You can get your items ready to be taken away, and you won’t have to look at them and be reminded of your past life. Once you are healed, you may feel differently about them and do the things you didn’t have the strength to do before.
Redecorating can bring a sense of a fresh new start
Getting creative when it comes to redecorating and creating a new space in your life can be incredibly healing. According to some psychology experts, eliminating large pieces of furniture can even be therapeutic. It would be an excellent idea to redecorate your home entirely according to your taste. However, this isn’t always practical since divorces can get pretty expensive, and you may not have the necessary funds to do so. Nevertheless, changing even the smallest of details means that you are taking positive action in life. Getting something new that is just for you can influence you to think positively. Maybe now you can buy that thing you always wanted but knew your spouse would hate.
Caption: Redecorating your entire home has numerous positive effects on your nervous system that will help you get through a tough time.
Making the big change
The final cause of decluttering and redecorating is to make things feel different and fresh. This might mean you will have to eliminate everything from your past life. It’s not unusual for people to move to another state after divorce. But before you start a new chapter, ensure you are free from any attachment to things or people. Letting go of the things you were once attached to is essential to healing your broken heart, especially if you find that they often make you sad or lonely. Please do it for your future self, who will be happy and full of life after you heal.
Caption: It’s not unusual for many people to decide to move after a divorce. A new city gives numerous opportunities for a fresh start.
Final words
Letting go of the past is usually painful and awakens many negative feelings like anger, sadness, anxiety, or even depression. However challenging it may look now, try to think about what lies ahead. Once you get through this, you will experience change and growth. There is much wisdom in pain, so allow yourself to grieve. After your tears dry, it’s time to take action. After reading this article, you have seen the many benefits of decluttering after divorce. So, get some boxes and start making space for the good things life will inevitably bring your way.
Meta Description: If you are having difficulties moving on after a divorce, you may want to see the biggest benefits of decluttering after divorce.
Author’s bio: Angie Johnson is a writer who takes a keen interest in psychology and whose articles are primarily dedicated to self-help topics. She is happily divorced and lives in Massachusetts with her daughter Julie and their golden retriever Sparky.
Changing Careers Mid-Life
Ever think about changing your career after age 45? Feel stuck or unfulfilled? Want to join this trend? If so – you are in good company. CBS Evening News with Norah O’Donnell said that “60% of American workers change careers after 45.” Today individuals are less likely to spend decades in the same job.
What can cause people to jump ship from an established career and try something new? Life changes such as divorce is one reason. People may be getting back into the job market when their marriage dissolves. This happened to me. I opened up a medical practice in my twenties and lost it in my divorce in my forties. I was out of a job which then propelled me to pursue a different track.
Another cause is Empty Nest. The chicks have flown the nest. You have time for yourself and the energy to discover what work seems interesting. One is forced to deal with change when a place of employment folds. Sometimes there is not much notice.
A way to get started in finding a new career option is to follow your passion. What is it that gives purpose and meaning to your life? Could that become a career? A friend is a wonderful artist. Her passion is saving animals. She put this dream into action after her divorce. She set up a small non-profit sanctuary for farm animals. Ones that are retired, neglected or might be killed. Then she began to paint these new residents. What came as a surprise was how well these paintings of sheep, cows and so forth, sold. She branched out in to having cards and prints made of her pictures. The bonus is that it helps fund the sanctuary.
Another example is my son’s kindergarten teacher. Her passion has always been flowers. Mid-life, Miss Marla left teaching and opened up her own florist shop. Years later she was so happy to make a prom corsage for my son’s girlfriend. Let your passion be your guiding star.
It can be helpful to have a firm idea of what you will be doing after leaving current job. My friend’s husband is in his early sixties. He will be retiring from an intensive engineering position in a few years. His passion is riding his dirt bike and motorcycle. He already has a job lined up at a store, selling parts for motorcycles and dirt bikes. He is looking forward to this career change.
Do an assessment. What skills do you currently have that could be utilized in your new career? Do some research. Will you need to get more training? Can you update your knowledge by taking online courses? Look at your finances. Do you have enough to fund more education if this is needed? Going to part-time is one way to still bring in income, while pursuing other job options.
Internships are a great method to gain practical skills for working in a different field. Although they might be unpaid, the knowledge learned is invaluable. It may be possible to volunteer when contemplating starting over again. A veterinarian student volunteered in an animal clinic. Although her motive was to gain experience, volunteering helped Chloe realize this was not the career change which best suited her. Her passion is animals and becoming a vet seemed to be the logical choice. Chloe was traumatized when animals were in pain or had to be euthanized. Before plunking a huge amount of cash down for a new path, ensure it is the best fit for you.
Remove obstacles. What is holding you back? Is it others telling you what you want to do will not work or are pressuring you to stay in a high paying job which you loathe? This is your life and you decide how to live it.
Is fear of failure holding you back? If you let an opportunity pass by (new career) you will be talking about it on your deathbed. As a nurse, I have been the recipient of these type of conversations. When feeling confused or pulled indifferent direction, consider seeing a professional, such as a career coach. They can look at your situation realistically and help you formulate strategies to achieve your career goal.
You 2.0: How to Regains Confidence After a Divorce
None of us get married planning to be single again. But, whether it be for incompatibility, infidelity, or money issues, divorce happens in about 50% of all first marriages, and the rates are even higher for subsequent nuptials. No matter how many people you know that have gotten divorced, it is still a personal challenge that can have a serious impact on your finances, emotions, and health.
Here are some tips on how to take back your life.
Wait to date.
While there is no magic formula that can tell you when the time is right to date, most experts – and divorcees – agree that it’s best to wait until you know it’s truly over so that you can really focus on yourself. While it’s perfectly normal to get lonely, you must learn how to be comfortable in your own presence so that you can truly figure out what you want. Although dating apps might provide you with some form of affirmation, you’re not going to find happiness in the praise of others, but in the love of yourself.
Check your finances.
Money is a significant issue, especially for the economically disadvantaged spouse. But, money is not everything, and what you lose in financial support, you may gain in freedom, independence, and happiness. If you’re concerned about your finances, Global Guide To Divorce suggests examining your credit, making a budget, and giving yourself an emergency fund.
Consider making another major change.
A divorce changes your life significantly, but many aspects may still stay the same, especially if you remain living in your marital home. If you want to truly break free from the memory of your marriage, you might want to make other life changes, such as going back to school to earn your master’s degree. Even if you have kids and a full-time job, getting a degree in a field that you’ve always been interested in (perhaps education or business) will give you the credentials and skills you need to break out of your comfort zone and into a new life. Similarly, you might even go back to school to learn skills, such as accounting or business, so that you can become an entrepreneur, which Biz Journals acknowledges gives you a chance to build a future for yourself.
Improve your self-image.
If you have put on a few pounds after divorce, you’re not alone. Men’s Divorce explains that marital transition changes a person’s eating habits. This can lead to weight gain or weight loss, either of which can have a negative impact on your self-image. If this is the case, you can start working on your weight by exercising and eating well. That takes time, so, in the interim, focus on buying clothing and accessories that make you feel attractive right now. For women, a pair of butt-lifting leggings or a cozy sweater will go a long way. Jewelry, such as a Tiger’s eye necklace – Tiger’s eye shows with alternating colors, depending on the light source, making it a versatile piece – can also go a long way toward improving how you feel about your appearance. For men, a new pair of jeans or a nice suit will enhance a lackluster wardrobe.
Change your habits.
Habits are hard to break, especially for those of us who were in long marriages and are now divorced. But, you have to give yourself permission to live your life on your terms. Don’t be shy about breaking habits, such as having tacos every Monday or visiting a specific city on vacation. You now have a precious opportunity to build your world the way that you want it, you don’t have to let relics from the past define what you do in the present.
Divorce is not easy for anyone. It’s difficult to find your sense of self and to be confident enough to live your life on your terms. But, trust that with a few habit changes and a positive mindset, you will get over the greatest challenges. Good luck in your new single life, may it be better than you could have imagined.
Visit Global Guide To Divorce often for more tips from experience dating coach Wendi Schuller.
Author Rhonda Underhill is a classic example of a health scare leading to a complete lifestyle change. She hopes her site, Getwellderly.com, can encourage adults approaching their golden years to get serious about their physical health now rather than later.
A Single Parent’s Guide To Settling Into A New Neighborhood After Moving
It’s not uncommon for Americans to move multiple times throughout their lives. Some people may simply switch to another city or state, whereas others may head abroad. According to an Internations survey, reasons for moving include love or a desire for a comfier retirement. Whatever the motivation, moving offers an exciting opportunity to get a fresh start. This is especially true if you are recently divorced and looking to turn over a new leaf. The process of transitioning to a new place can be daunting, however, especially if you have a child in tow. So, let these pointers guide you through the process.
Make Sure the House Is Ready Before You Move In
You don’t want to spend the first night in your new home discovering that there’s no hot water for a shower or cooking. Before you move, check that basics such as plumbing are working and that the bare minimum safety devices such as locks, smoke alarms, and carbon monoxide detectors are in place. If any remodeling issues related to wiring, plumbing, or heating and cooling are needed, have these fixed before you move in. It’s also smart to scope out amenities before moving day. Where is the nearest pharmacy or supermarket? Do you know who to call in case of an emergency like a power outage or a broken pipe? Lining up this information beforehand can save stress down the line.
Unpack in an Orderly Fashion and Prioritize Kids’ Rooms
When it comes to the actual moving day, label boxes according to room. As you unpack at your new place, Moving.com recommends starting with kids’ rooms. You can ensure your little ones are comfortable and stay safely out of the way in their rooms while you finish unpacking in peace. Consider loading up a tablet with their favorite games and cartoons to keep them occupied. After your kids are cared for, prioritize the remaining unpacking based on the rooms you will need most urgently, such as your own bedroom and the kitchen. As you continue unpacking over the first week, you can start adding personal touches that will make it feel like home, such as kids’ artwork and family photos.
Take the Time to Get to Know the Neighbors
Once your house is somewhat in order, host a housewarming party and invite people from the surrounding neighborhood to stop by. You can simply leave an invitation in their mailbox, with a few brief lines about yourself and your child. This is a great way to get to know fellow parents in the area; some may even have kids in your child’s age range. If not, network and ask those who stop by if they know of potential playmates for your little one. Getting kids involved in local activities like sports teams is another fun way to get them settled.
Get Out and About in Your Community
The key to really getting to feel at home in your community is to get out of the house. Take the time to visit local shops and restaurants, join your neighborhood association, and host events to get to know people. If there is a public library or visitors center nearby, check of bulletin boards advertising community events. The local newspaper is also a great resource to see what’s going on in your area. Finally, a fun activity for a single parent and kid to get to know their city is a hop-on, hop-off bus tour.
While moving can be nerve-wracking for kids and adults alike, you should be able to integrate with ease. Keep in mind it will take time to adjust to your new surroundings and that you and your child may get “homesick” from time to time. This is perfectly normal. Stay positive and focus on the many exciting opportunities your new community has to offer. With an optimistic outlook, you’ll be sure to find yourself feeling at home sooner rather than later.
Author of this article, Tilda Moore, researches and writes about educational resources for openeducators.org. She is passionate about helping parents and teachers in providing kids with the best education possible. She works directly with teachers and other public education groups to ensure they are working toward our vision of constructing a reliable database of verified information
How To Boost Your Happiness
You may be going through the motions of life while others seem to have the secret to happiness. Happiness may have alluded one during marriage and finding it after divorce is high on the list. What exactly is happiness? It is a transient feeling which requires frequent boosters. Planning an exotic getaway, buying designer shoes on sale, or a day at the spa bring on happiness temporarily. Once the boost is over then one looks for another fix. We are born with a set point for happiness and various studies put it between 33% to 50%. This means that how happy we are is partly due to genetics and we can control the rest. Some people seem to be born cheerful and others more morose, as I have witnessed in the school setting. Andrew Carnegie, the American philanthropist born in Scotland, said “If you want to be happy – set a goal that commands your thoughts, liberates your energy and inspires your hopes.” During divorce, just surviving and getting through it may be the goal. After divorce come up with long-term ones such as exploring the world, a better financial situation or balancing family and work.
POSITIVE OUTLOOK
Cultivating a positive outlook helps one to view the world as a friendlier, safer place. If one expects to be treated badly, then they perceive normal interactions with others as negative. In one study on happiness, people were asked to think about a memory. The happier folks thought of happy ones. The test subjects who were depressed gravitated towards sad or unhappy remanences. What is the secret to happiness? Harvard psychologist Dan Gilbert states “The quality of connections with people is the biggest predictor of happiness.” This message is echoed in a 72 year study by Harvard of 268 men in regards to life satisfaction and happiness. Psychiatrist George Valliant was one of the researchers who found that “The only thing that really matters in life are your relationships to other people.” Post-divorce focus on the quality of the connection with other people. Having several close friends brings more happiness than 500 ones on social media. What is important is engaging with others. Strengthen your ties to friends post-divorce. American psychologist Jaime Kurtz has done much research on happiness in the field of positive psychology.
How to Sustain Happiness
To sustain happiness is to have meaning and purpose in life. Ask yourself these questions. What inspires you? What is your passion? What drives you? If you are drifting along and not sure what you want to do after divorce, map out a life plan. Where do you see yourself next year, in five years, in ten? Giving back to others, whether volunteering, doing pro bono work, or mentoring helps give meaning to life. It is easy to be self-absorbed and reaching out to others creates healthy connections. Some people post-divorce started practicing gratitude, where they learned on a regular basis to appreciate the good happenings in their lives. Stop and notice the little things.
If you were on your deathbed now looking back over your life – did you accomplish all that you set out to do? What would any regrets be? What would you have left unfinished and do you have a legacy to pass on to family and friends? This is a good starting place to examine what you want to still accomplish. People that I talked to on their deathbeds, wished they had spent more time with others or had travelled to specific destinations. Let this guide you into have a more fulfilling life which brings happiness.
Schedule fun activities with friends and family. Since these only affect happiness on a short-term basis, fill your calendar with these events. This may be the time to adopt a pet who showers you with unconditional affection. It takes time to heal after divorce or other adversities, however if feeling like you cannot climb out of a black pit, then seek some help. Originally published in The Divorce Magazine
Moving On Post-Divorce
When one is caught up in the turmoil of the moment, it is difficult to fathom that situations will get easier down the road. Time really does heal or lessens the divorce trauma now being faced. So many people expressed the same sentiment, “Wish I would have known that things get better.”
“Didn’t Recognize My Ex”
Annette was married for nine years and stated that she could not be herself or reach her full potential. This was compounded by her husband being unfaithful. They mutually decided to part ways and got divorced. Annette dated “many men” and met Sean eight years post-divorce. He seemed to be “the one” but Annette was cautious and married Sean three years later. They have been blissfully wed for ten years and Annette says it is hard to remember what her life was like previously. She claims that she “can just be me now” and is living life to the fullest. One morning they were rushing through the airport for an early morning flight. Annette had the strange sensation that someone was intently staring at her from the other side of security and felt uncomfortable. She then saw a man grinning and waving at her. It was only when he called her name that Annette realized that she had not even recognized her ex.
In another example, someone asked Nina about her ex-husband’s current wife, who had been her long-time former friend. Nina could not remember this woman’s name until a day later. Nina is not going down the path of dementia, but rather she has moved on and this couple is no longer on her radar. In other cases, a former partner is a friend and they happily bump into each other at social events.
How Do You Reach This Point of Moving On?
- Vent your frustrations to friends. If still feeing angry and on edge, then seek out a professional. A divorce coach can give you concrete strategies on how to become unstuck and move on with your life. Join a divorce group for support and learning that you are not alone in your situation.
- Quit running the movie of your ex in your head. The more you think of her, the more fixated you become. Replace this continuous loop of reruns with visualizations of new opportunities, activities and adventures
- Learn Meditation and start practicing it for ten minutes a day. This helps to quiet the brain, calm the body and lower blood pressure. Relaxation CDs lead to tranquility and being able to regroup after stressful proceedings.
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- Discover distractions. Joining groups, learning new skills, or exploring exotic locales changes one’s focus. When one’s brain is concentrating on new material, less time is spent dwelling on the divorce situation. Enlarge your social network by meeting new people such as with MeetUp.com.
- If it is in your belief system, surrender to a Higher Power. People interviewed said that their faith helped them get through the divorce and forgive themselves, and their former spouses.
- Get rid of photos, wedding album and mementos of your marriage, or store them off your premises. If you kept the house, then donate or sell objects particularly related to your ex. Many said they got rid of the sheets and bought a few new decorations.
- Remove triggers that remind you of your former partner. Avoid listening to the tunes or frequenting the special spots you did as a duo. Find a tour to a new destination.
- Acknowledge your loss and recognize that you go through the stages of grief to get to the other side. Suppressing grief can lead to depression or anger issues.
Interviews with people post-divorce indicated that it took an average of a year to move on after divorce. Resist the urge to check social media for your former spouse’s posts and instead, reconnect with old friends.
Originally published in The Divorce Magazine thedivorcemagazine.co.uk