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Global Guide to Divorce Available at your local bookstore,  amazon US, amazon UK

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surprises with divorce

What Surprised Me about Divorce

There were surprises both good and challenging in the post-divorce period for me. I learned to expect the unexpected! Below are 8 things that surprised me after my divorce.

1. The sense of freedom was a delightful discovery. I could plan trips where and when I wanted (with notifying our court-appointed mediator). After my sons left home, I took advantage of a flash sale for a last minute river cruise in Europe. My divorced friend also took 2 seconds in deciding to go and we just got back from sailing in the Czech Republic and Germany for nearly a 75% discount! My sons and I could eat on the run en route to a movie or spur of the moment activity. I didn’t realize how bound we were to a schedule until after my divorce.

2. I need less “stuff” after my divorce. The serving platters used for business entertaining gathered dust until my last garage sale. I seemed to use objects to build a cocoon around me during an unhappy marriage. I thought beautifying our house would make it easier to get through a turbulent time. I feel so much lighter now and less tied down after having a massive clear out of art, furniture and half of my things. You can even sell unwanted jewelry to help with finances. This philosophy of not accumulating more stuff frees up time for adventures when traveling since I am not spending that time shopping.

3. Post-divorce finances was a mixed bag for me. I thought I would be earning more post-alimony, however, my expenses are lower than anticipated, so there is a balance. As long as I can do some travelling I am okay. Finances seemed to be a big concern with my divorced friends, so we happily meet for coffees instead of expensive meals out.

4. It was surprising that a few of my long-time friends said they did not want to choose sides and wanted to be in touch with us both. Strange, because some barely knew my spouse. Since I was being taken to court after our divorce I could not risk confiding in these “friends” and we parted ways. A nice surprise was the couples who either knew my ex from teenage years or worked with him, yet showered me with kindness. I get big hugs from these fabulous people, although we do not get together.  Please read more…