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Global Guide to Divorce

Jack Jack the Cat

telling good guys from insincere ones

Dating Scene – How to Tell the Good Ones from the Bad Ones

Post-divorce you may be stepping back into the dating scene with some trepidation. The rules seemed to have changed and the phrase, “He just isn’t that into you” is floating around in your head. Now you meet someone who seems like a dream and adores you. That is wonderful, or is it? Here are eight tips for differentiating the good date from the bad date. These tips are pertinent for both genders,

1. A good dating partner takes their time getting to know someone and a bad one may push for a commitment right away. A relationship is not a race from the starting line to the finish (marriage). A good partner wants to get to know you too in order to determine if you are marriage material. If someone is pressuring you for nuptials quickly, then wonder why. Is there some dark secret lurking in the background that you are not to discover until too late?

2. A good dating partner lets you go out with friends and family while a not so good one has to always know your whereabouts. She will contact you frequently to see where you are and whom you are with, to make sure it is with the guys. This type of person may start to insert themselves into your social plans, even when just out with some pals. It was awkward when a friend’s fiancé did this and she and I lost contact soon after her wedding. This controlling behavior may escalate after getting married into emotional abuse. Some newlyweds become isolated from friends and family or only visit when the spouse is present.

3. A good date is respectful to all and treats those in the service industry the same as a CEO. They do not belittle anyone for faults, ethnic/religious differences, or for any other reason. They are a good citizen, may volunteer or help people/animals in some way. The bad one makes fun of underlings or folks different from them as the butt of  “jokes.” They loudly comment on the perceived shortcomings of others within hearing distance. One divorced woman tells that she knew divorce was in the future when her spouse told a rape “joke” and did not get what was wrong with that.