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Global Guide to Divorce
Jack Jack the Cat

How to Prevent Loneliness Post-Divorce

It is natural to feel lonely after a divorce and there are ways to make this transition easier. The secret to beating the “I feel so alone blues” is distraction and making connections. I experienced more loneliness during my marriage than I ever did post-divorce. The divorce process itself drains time and energy away from pursuits and people. These tips are what I did to combat loneliness and a collection of worked well for others.

  1. Gather your support system around you like a protective cocoon. Reach out to people who are   sticking by you through this transition. Allow friends to do things for you and accept their assistance. Ask for help and this can be challenging at first. I asked a neighbor to have my younger son over for dinner a few times, which lowered his stress and was fun. If you are still in shock post-divorce, let others know to contact you with plans. I wanted to go out for lattes and appreciated my friends calling me with these arrangements1. Gather your support system around you like a protective cocoon. Reach out to the people who are. I just had to show up for movies, etc. without making decisions and coordinating these events.
  2. Join Groups and meet new people. is international with local groups having a variety of activities, such as hiking. You meet new folks in a relaxed setting having fun, getting fit, or volunteering. I joined The Transition Network through this organization, and met many new women also going through life changes. We are each other’s boosters. Consider joining a book club. I developed a love of Scandinavian mysteries through mine, and lonely weekends are a thing of the past. Some divorced people have become more active in their church and synagogue groups plus added these people to their support team.
  3. Volunteering takes the focus off your woes. Giving back to the community distracts you from being caught up in the merry-go-round of thoughts swirling around in your head. You are concentrating on your activity and making new connections with humans or animals. I joined a cat rescue group and one morning a week feed, clean cages, and cuddle the kitties. A purring kitten reaffirms that I am being appreciated. Others enjoy the camaraderie and physical exertion of building houses and other charity projects. Taking supplies to South Africa post-divorce, enriched my life more than it did for any recipients.

4. Do not try and fix loneliness by jumping into a new relationship. Do spend some time to heal and work on yourself first.     Please read more