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Global Guide to Divorce
Jack Jack the Cat

What Children of Divorce Revealed to School Nurse

Parents’ divorces and dating lives have spilled over into their children’s schools. It does not matter who is right or who is wrong, when youngsters are drawn into adult matters. When parents are out for revenge, the kids are affected by the divorce drama. Parents seem to assume that their offspring have told classmates of the divorce. Many have not. Kids talk more in terms of activities – “I saw Star Wars with Dad” or “Mum took me ice skating” rather than “this is my week at Mum’s.” Classmates see those parents (sometimes separately) at school have no clue they are not still married. It can be awkward when one parent starts bringing a date when they drop by school.

Public displays of parental affection often are embarrassing to kids. It is more mortifying when Mum smooches her new beau at school and some are not aware she is divorced. Have a sense of decorum around the kid’s friends. One divorced mother happily announced at school that she was picking the kids up early so that they could accompany her and Tony for their weekend away in a nearby city. Her son cringed and looked at his shoes until they departed with his sister.

People will want to give you support during your divorce. They will inquire how things are with you. Either walk them outside of the school building before answering or say something vague. Your child may not be within ear shot, but their classmates are around. Kids are gossips and will tell your youngster what they overheard. Please do not trash talk the other parent in front of your child. This happens at school, but there is no way the staff is going to take sides in that battle. Our job is to be of support to the students.

Good communication between co-parents, school, and children is the key to making life smoother for the kids. Make it clear that you each want a copy of reports and advise the staff of your family situation.  I did a vision test on a young student who was going to need glasses. I gave her a written recommendation for follow up with an eye doctor. She asked which parent was to receive it. I quickly made another copy for her. She then told me that her parents were separating. This uncomfortable moment could have been avoided if the parents had given us an update. Another problem is when each parent assumes that the other one got needed items for a project. I had to call a divorced dad for a crying child who lacked something crucial for the science fair which was starting in one half hour. Do not assume that the co-parent got school supplies or specially needed materials.  Please read more