Improv Acting Saved My Life

Two scary characters peered into our store windows. Instead of locking the doors right away, we just hoped they would move on.  Big mistake. These bald men were covered with tattoos beginning at the top of their heads. They entered our store. I did not hear Babs whisper “Run out the back door.” She sprinted out the front to the shop next door.

After spotting the outline of a gun in one of the thug’s pockets, with his hand on it, I decided to stay put – more afraid of being shot in the back. After a few minutes of the pair walking around the store, I wondered why the police had not yet arrived. Dead quiet with no sirens. They looked high on meth and were missing some teeth in spite of being in their early thirties.

They went over to where gold jewellery was hanging on the wall. I remained calm and decided improv acting could be my ticket to safety. I took on the role of the airhead blonde, clueless and nonthreatening. One fingered the chains and slipped some in his pocket. I suggested he examine them and gently retrieved them and held them up.

“There, see what I mean” I sang out as I hung them back on the hook. “They are tin – painted gold, very cheap.” “Oh” the robber replied, “What about this one?” the confused man asked. I answered “Notice it is slightly curved like a tin can. Why would you want these?” I had the dumbest look on my face pretending I thought they were shoppers.

At this point, they forgot about grabbing the cash and focused on why they would want tacky stuff. Seems like they were thinking about how they would not get much money for them. Since these guys are not the sharpest tools in the box, I asked. “Wouldn’t you rather have the really good jewellery from the shop around the corner?” No shop was really there.

Of course, the only answer was “Yes” for these connoisseurs of quality. I opened the door and told them “I have to point it out to you from the sidewalk so you go the right way. You make a turn (gesturing right) Come on; I have to show you.”

The greedy, gullible men followed and went outside as I kept pointing. As they looked in that direction, I quickly slipped inside and shut the door. They rattled the locked door of the store next door. My co-worker ran in from the back door. Babs had called 911 who refused to help since she had gotten out of the store. They claimed she was not in danger. Did not matter to them that I was still there. Ludicrous.

Babs proceeded to call the police and explained about the attempted robbery and the perpetrators were still in the vicinity of our downtown store.  We closed the store and in the half hour we were still there, the police never arrived.

Doing imrov acting saved me from possibly getting shot. The dumb blonde act helped the robbers to relax and not be trigger happy. I remained calm while acting. As  I as getting in my car, I started shaking after this adventure.