Group Dating – How It Works
After a hiatus of a few decades – it is challenging to jump back into the dating scene post-divorce. Dating expectations have changed and our svelte figures have morphed into middle-aged bodies. There are a plethora of options in meeting potential mates which can be a bit overwhelming. What is a simple way to dip your toe into the dating pool without totally plunging in? Group Dating.
Starting Over Post-Divorce
Divorce provides the opportunity to reinvent yourself. This could be a new career path or change in scenery as in a move across country. It is how one looks at divorce as either the world stops – or gently nudges a person into trying new endeavours. Reframe the negativity into something positive. An example is several stay-at-home-mums reframed losing a leisurely life style with divorce, into having a fulfilled life with never a dull moment. They got jobs, met a new circle of people and expanded their social lives. These woman are fun to be around with their interesting lives. Some dads are full of funny stories with their recent pursuits of coaching or mentoring. It is all about how you look at things post-divorce. What helped several people post-divorce up was starting over in a new locale. One high powered business woman without children, moved to a different city and got a job. She was totally out of her familiar environment both socially and professionally. This ecstatically happy person said to let others in divorce situations know about considering a move with finding different employment. Another way to start over is by taking a vacation. Another woman was devastated after her break up and took a road trip from her home in Toronto to the Wild West. She stopped in a city for what was supposed to be a week and has been there eighteen years. She became an American citizen and enjoys her teaching job. Others start over in less drastic ways. A second job in an area of interest catapulted several people into new careers. One divorced Canadian women followed her love of knitting and got a part-time job in a knitting shop. Now she owns it and has the pleasure of connecting with other enthusiasts as…
Choosing Friends After Divorce
Guilt by association. Your friends reflect back upon you – so be selective whom you choose. Be with people in this post-divorce time who share your ethics. We do not always agree upon political candidates, religion or sports teams, but our basic values ought to be similar. If someone is skating on the edge of the law, then distance yourself from them. We are starting life anew after divorce and do not need questionable people. If pals are doing activities which conflict with your morals, then consider dropping them. Or at least take a break so you can step back and evaluate these relationships. We are vulnerable after divorce, so listen to alarm bells going off when you are uncomfortable around someone. We may keep a friendship because it is a habit. Being in the company of unethical folks chips away at our psyche or as one woman said it is a “soul ache.” I felt sorry for a divorced dad in the construction business who needed work. I trusted him and the accuracy of his fees. When I started receiving astonomical bills for some big projects, we parted ways. This was after another guy in the same business informed me that I paid more than double the going rate. We were on friendly terms, yet he still needlessly took a chunk of my divorce settlement for some renovations and repairs. I learned that people have to earn my trust. If you are in relationships that you normally would shun, determine if it is because you are lonely. Strengthen the connections that you already have, such as with family, workmates and supportive pals. Do not start new friendships on the basis that you feel needy, but rather that you both have something to offer. Please read more: http://blogsondivorce.com/friendships-post-divorce/
Men’s Divorce – The First Steps
What are the first few steps when hit with divorce news? When hearing that one’s wife wants a divorce, it is a blow that some guys even feel physically. Acknowledge that you are in shock and do not expect to make any rational decisions right away. It may feel like you are a robot going through the motions of daily life. Get some emotional support. Guys that I talked with said that they were too stoic – keeping a stiff upper lip. They did not know where to turn when they were numb with shock. Talk to a relative whom you feel close to and let them know you need to vent. This is not the moment to be on the receiving end of a lengthy list of tasks to do in divorce. Detailed divorce strategy comes later after you had time to process your feelings and to regroup. Maybe confide in a cousin or uncle because your parents may be in shock themselves. Reach out to others. This was the hardest thing to do, according to my male sources. They felt like they would be a burden to others or be perceived as weak if they mentioned their divorce woes. Go out for a pint with your mates and tell them what you are facing. Most likely they have pals who are divorced, if they are not themselves, and can clue you in on what to do next. Just expressing how you feel can take a weight off your shoulders. I guarantee that your wife has talked about getting a divorce with at least twenty girlfriends. Feeling like you are teetering on the brink of a breakdown is normal in divorce. Many have felt this way too, and we made it through our divorces with our sanity intact. Balance…
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