Balancing Work and Family Life as a Single Parent
It is possible to keep one’s sanity and sense of humor, yet still be a single parent in the workforce. The trick is to be extra organized and do as much as possible when the kids are with the co-parent. It is challenging stepping back into a career when being a stay-at-home mom, or changing to full-time. These tips make life a bit easier. Work more during visitation. I went to my father’s every other weekend and my nurse mother worked at a hospital during that time. She also picked up extra shifts for the two weeks that I was on vacation with my father and at camp. Another woman worked 8-3 without a formal lunch break. She then went into the office for five hours every Saturday while the kids were at visitation. Since the office was closed, it was peaceful enabling her to get ahead with work. See if you can build flexibility into your job. A dad might work extra on the weekend that he is not with the kids. Make a huge quantity of lasagne or another dish, and freeze single portions (your work lunches) and family size ones. When you are tired – reheat with a prepared salad. Do a cooking marathon when the kids are at visitation. I buy organic, but yummy prepared meals to give to hungry fellows in a hurry. My sons like Trader Joe’s pot pies and their frozen meat which is quick to cook. Team up with other single parents to have potlucks or share some tasks. Three moms decided to rotate cooking evening meals, each doing one night a week. One cooks enough for the other two families and packs up the complete meals into containers. They are delivered to those houses nearby and for the next two evenings, she is…
How to Get Over an Ex-Spouse or Past Relationship
Part of moving on after divorce is leaving your reconciliation fantasy behind. When one is feeling lonely, that makes it tempting to dwell in the past and ponder if an old romance could be rekindled. A few people have wondered if they were too speedy in wanting a divorce and could have hung on longer. Really think through why the relationship ended. Was there any abuse or lack of respect? Do not fall into the “What if trap.” “What if we had tried…..” Relationships end when interest wanes. Sometimes people are too different to really make a go of it. My friend Connie was having a bad patch in her marriage and looked up a former love. They have different lifestyles which may have clashed in the long run. He is happily married with a very active life in the political arena in Washington D.C. He makes the news with the parties he attends and his well-dressed appearance. Connie rarely entertains, is more of a blue jeans type of a girl, and is vegan. When asked if she would throw lavish soirees, serve meat or be elegantly attired on a regular basis, she had difficulty responding. Eventually Connie realized that if they had stayed together, maybe she would not be as happy as she had fantasized. When she and her husband made up, that longing for that past relationship diminished. Please read more… http://blogsondivorce.com/getting-over-an-ex-spouse-or-former-love/
Ways to Negotiate Child Support
States have a formula to determine the amount of child support, but this is not an arbitrary figure. Negotiations can increase this amount. Parents have the right to come to their own agreement on child support and not rely on their state’s guideline. Submit the agreement to the court in order to make it official, in case there is difficulty in collecting it at a later date. Child support is non-modifiable (no changes allowed) or modifiable (may be changed at a later date). I chose non-modifiable because I did not want to deal with any divorce issues again. If it looks like your spouse might be in for a big promotion, or his artwork is starting to sell, then modifiable may be the right choice. Then you can go to court when this happens to ask for an increase. If your husband has a good job and you think that might change, then you may choose non-modifiable so the rate does not dip. The judge looks at the potential earning ability of both parents as part of determining child support. If the state’s guideline for child support seems too low, consider working with your spouse on this issue. If you are having a court divorce, it is hard to know how the judge will rule on it. Perhaps a spouse would take a few more household items and artwork in exchange for a slightly higher child support amount. Go online to your state’s “calculator” to get an idea of what to expect before the negotiation. Wish I had done that. Get documentation and financial records pertaining to your children together for negotiations. Figure out your expenses including your rent (the kid’s shelter), food, clothes and activities to show why you would require a higher rate for support. Offer proof with…
Divorce Stigma
Society has come a long way in accepting divorce, but still has more to do. Growing up in the late 1960’s meant that I was different because I had a divorced mother. I was mortified when my first grade teacher, Sister Julie Clare, said that she would pray that my parents would get back together. I was sure that nuns had more clout with God, so was afraid that this tragedy might occur. My mother assured me that there was no way in hell that this would happen, so I became my happy self again. There was only one other girl in the school with a divorced mother and none in my neighborhood. No one overtly teased me, but I still felt judged by my situation. Fast forward four decades and it almost seems like the norm to be divorced. Kids discuss their half-siblings and step-relatives with ease, as if it is to be expected. It has been more elderly people who have attempted to give me condolences, instead of the high five. My happily married friends share divorce stories of other friends and relatives to reaffirm my normalness. They joke that being in long-term marriages seems to be the new anomaly. That said, in some cities in the UK and US, divorce is less accepted. I went to India which has a 1.1% divorce rate, so expected to be looked down upon in my divorced state. What a surprise to be so wrong. A leading Indian women’s magazine had an article on how to get through your divorce `. Our guide was reading the section in the paper where parents were looking for good mates for their offspring. There was even a part for parents seeking new spouses for their previously divorced sons and daughters. No one batted an…
SIGN UP FOR OUR NEWSLETTER
© 2023 Wendi’s Tips. All Rights Reserved. Website by Noventum