Valentine’s Day Adventures
Get out of your comfort zone and boost your self-confidence and fitness level. Challenge yourself to train and complete charity treks and cycling trips over Valentine’s Day. On February 13th, VSO Charity has a climb up Kilimanjaro and Charity Challenge has a cycling trip from Saigon to Ankor Wat. Great Ormond Street Hospital has a cycling trip around Rajasthan, India starting on the 14th. There are many possibilities such as going to the Rift Valley, Morocco, hiking the Inca Trail, and other exotic locales. Check charity web sites for these adventures and up-to-date departures. Gwen was devastated to be newly single and dreaded being alone. Her adult children were sympathetic, however they had their own lives elsewhere. A girlfriend told Gwen about a charity trek to Kilimanjaro and the two pals commenced training and hiking together. This trek required a certain amount of pledges to be raised for a charity, so these two were busy asking co-workers, businesses, and family to donate money. Gwen and Rose bonded with others in similar situations on this trek and made life-long friends. They felt empowered, fulfilled and loneliness was a thing of the past. Gwen’s children were relieved that she moved on with her life in such a positive way. Outward Bound has programs in the wilderness with some around Valentine’s Day. Participants “emerge to find out that they can do more than they thought they could.” You leave with a sense of personal growth. If you want to get out of town before Valentine’s Day or other holidays, check on volunteer trips. You can assist archeologists on intriguing research right in the UK. Or you can travel to far flung places with volunteer associations. I went to a travel talk by a person who did scuba diving in Australia, counting marine life for…
The Valentine’s Day Blues
Facing your first Valentine’s Day during or post-divorce can be like pouring salt into an open wound or a “non-event” as many people disclosed. You may feel like holing up at home screaming at the world, or out and about as if it were any other day. Assess your feelings to see which strategies would work best for you. Those that did not really celebrate Valentine’s Day while married had the easiest time post-divorce. A few who had been married to doctors that either were too busy, or chose not to commemorate this occasion, did not even remember their first Valentine’s Day when newly divorced. Kelly has been divorced twice, yet can only recall recent ones. People who had the most difficult time when newly single, were the ones who had been wined and dined on this holiday. This would be the time to start inventing new Valentine’s traditions that are special for you. Some friends have said that their children have been a happy distraction on Valentine’s Day post-divorce. They have a special dinner and play games or watch a movie. They stated that it is difficult to feel lonely or “poor me” when busy with youngsters. Endear yourself to friends by offering to babysit their little tykes on this night. Invite your niece over for a pajama pizza party and show chick flicks. Veronica had a full-blown party for her young son and his buddies on her first post-divorce Valentine’s Evening with yummy food, fun activities and luscious treats. She was having a great time and was too busy being hostess, to dwell upon any sad thoughts. This is still Veronica’s best Valentine’s Day. Coffee shops and cafes often have a communal table where solo diners can enjoy being around others on Valentine’s Day. These gatherings sometimes become a…
Divorce tip: Beauty for Less
When you are going through a divorce or other life transition, you may be on a tight budget. You still require high quality products that are plant based for healthy skin. You do not have to down grade to cheap products full of chemicals, but rather upgrade to ones that deliver a powerful punch for rejuvenation. Your skin becomes sallow and more wrinkled with insomnia and stress. Boots pharmacies in the UK, have their own lines of skin care and are available stateside at Target and other retailers. Botanics are particularly packed full of botanicals and are endorsed by Kew Gardens in London, along with Oprah and some leading physicians. Theses products are reasonable starting at $8.99 to around $24.99. I really like the Facial Oil 100% organic which is $8.99. The Facial Serum Triple Age Renewal and the matching eye serum have orchid as one of the plant ingredients and sell for around $16.00. I use the facial super balm($8.99) as both the top layer of moisturizer and as a night eye balm. Boot’s No. 7 line has the popular Protect & Perfect skin serum which has undergone studies endorsing its qualities. The No. 7 Overnight Hand Treatment ($14.69) makes my middle aged hands look young. The No.7 foundation and blush is made in France and is every bit as good as the high price department store ones that I used in the past. Lumene skin care from Finland also is plant based and usually under $25.oo. These can be found at CVS Pharmacy and Walgreens, sometimes on sale. Prevent future problems by taking care of your skin now with these nurturing and reasonably priced items. Not only will you look and feel better, but your budget will too.
Use Language to Propel You in Right Direction
Language is a powerful tool to enable you to reach goals. Or it can derail you. Use positive words to point you where you want to go and to achieve your desired outcomes. I f you want to remember your lunch for work then state it that way, not “I can’t forget my lunch.” Otherwise you are putting forget and lunch into your brain. Certainly in a divorce situation, you would think, “I have to get the house” not “Oh, I might lose the house.” Stating what you want is clearer to your divorce attorney. Say what you desire to achieve from asset division or visitation, not what you do not. With a little practice, it becomes easy. Think where you want to go and phrase words accordingly. Don’t make statements about what you don’t want to happen. A school district in the US, spent about $40,000.00 writing a conduct code manual which included bullying behavior and consequences. This took months to complete. When the committee went over the final results the whole project had to be scrapped and redone from the beginning. The entire manual contained “don’t” statements, not what students and staff were to do. It had behaviors and strategies that were unacceptable, not clear instructions about what was expected. Using positive language of what is expected is also a more effective way to deal with children. “Bums in the chair” or “feet on the floor” is clearer than “don’t jump around here.” Even instructions to dogs are positive words for outcomes, “sit” instead of “don’t run around.” Before I used positive language, there was more confusion. I got a call from my son “where are you?”. I had said that I could NOT pick him up and later he remembered something about picking him up. Stating “walk home from school today” (desired outcome) would have been the way…
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