Can Divorce Be Contagious?
Experts suggest that a Friend’s Divorce may encourage you to seek one too Although a marriage is typically private and not influenced by anything outside of the close circle, it is now thought that a divorce between your friends or somebody else close to you may well have an influence upon you and your own relationship. With this in mind, we look at whether or not a divorce really can be considered as contagious. Why are Divorces being considered as Contagious? Expert researchers are finding that the concept of a divorce can make its way through friends, family and even work colleagues, should one couple within those groups start their own divorce process. In fact, those around somebody looking to obtain a divorce may be 75% more likely to get their own divorce. It is thought that the ending of relationships within groups can spark something in other people’s minds, leading them to begin questioning their own relationship and what they want their own future to hold. It is also said that the divorce often fights against the stigma surrounding breakups and how it may affect children, proving to people that it can be done in a way that doesn’t have too much of a negative impact. However, as many can imagine, these findings also suggest that knowing a number of different people that have previously gone through a divorce can actually be bad for a marriage, putting it at a greater risk of ending in divorce. Realising the Action that your Marriage Requires When family, friends or other people close to you get a divorce, you usually look at your own marriage and realise its current state. You may think that the couple getting a divorce were happy, and that it could mean that there are underlying issues in…
Keep Children’s Well-Being First During Divorce
Think about your children’s well-being in the midst of divorce, when you feel like going into battle with their other parent. Divorce results in the breakdown of the relationship between two adults. However, the fallout can greatly affect the little ones. An amicable divorce means that they go between two happier homes. A contentious one turns into war, with the youngsters getting caught in the crossfire. Divorce triggers anger and hurt feelings. These emotions are expressed to the spouses’ lawyers, not to children. A way to keep kids out of the divorce is to decide on a similar mantra. Each parent says something along this line, “We are no longer marital partners, instead we will be co-parents” or “Divorce is between us. We still love you.” No mention of cheating or other vices. Just a simple message given by both parents. Children want to be reassured that both of you will still be in the picture. No abandonment or feeling that they have to choose sides. A change in living arrangements will be happening. Even if one parent moves out of town, frequent contact and specified visitation will be arranged. Skype and phone calls can also be done between visitations, when both former spouses live in the same city. Fear of the unknown can be frightening. Kids have vivid imaginations and can envision a worst-case scenario. They might dream up something that would never happen. They require reassurances that their lives will continue as before in many areas. Have a discussion with the children about their concerns, such as whether or not they will remain in the same school. Let them know that sports and after school activities will continue. They will still have their friends. Help kids to stay in touch with grandparents and relatives from both sides. This…
How To Find Happiness During Divorce
When one is going through divorce it is easy to wonder “Will I ever be happy again?” The answer is YES. Happiness is a fleeting feeling which requires frequent boosters. Happiness fluctuates in intensity as do other emotions. One can choose to be happy or not during the turbulent time of divorce. My divorced mother decided to be bitter for years afterwards, which resulted in having a barrier between her and the world. I went down a different path and found ways to insert moments of happiness amongst the chaos. My trick was to look for the positives and have a laugh at the absurdity in life. Think about what brings joy or when you were truly happy. Schedule these into your agenda on a regular basis. Weekly lattes with pals contributed to my happiness. Talking about my spouse’s outrageous antics brought on the giggles. It is hard to be in a negative place when laughing with friends. Others get their happiness boost by a vacation. I went to Hawaii with my mother and sons during the nastiest part of my proceedings. I became ecstatically happy walking among the palm trees and talking to the wise Polynesian people. I brought this relaxed attitude back with me into the rest of the divorce. Some friends escaped to the spa or gym. Remove yourself temporarily to pleasant surroundings. The secret to being happy is to find one’s meaning and purpose in life. Viennese psychologist Viktor Frankl wrote about his ordeal in a concentration camp in his book Man’s Search for Meaning. While imprisoned, he found that those who discovered their meaning in life were more apt to survive. Two men in particular had given up and were waiting to die. Frankl found out what was important to them, one needed to finish…
Understanding Co-Parenting- Complications And What To Expect
Co-parenting may seem like a modern or new term but in practice it’s been around as long as divorce has. The dynamic and arrangement of each family is different, there’s no wrong or right way but many families throughout history have adopted an approach which we would now label as some form of co-parenting or parallel parenting. Co-parenting is simultaneously simple yet complicated. The concept is easy to understand, two parents who for one reason or another (but usually through mutual desire to separate) have decided to parent their children separately. Whether this means the children live permanently with one parent or if it’s a more equal shared parenting setup obviously varies on an individual basis. Co-parenting well on the other hand can be complicated as it incorporates many varying factors. I’ll try to simplify them so that if you’re new to co-parenting you can absorb the basics easily and identify the imperative points and inevitable pitfalls. Communication The key to every relationship, romantic or otherwise is communicating effectively. As someone whose partner is from another country and a completely different cultural background I can testify in regards to the difficulty of always communicating well and also the consequences of miscommunication. After a divorce and all that comes with it, barriers in relation to communication may be at an all-time high between you and your ex. However if you wish to forge a successful parenting relationship for the sake of your children you need to sit down together and work out your parenting plan, whether this is with the help of a therapist or mediator depends on how co-operative your ex-spouse is. You both need to be clear on where you stand in terms of obligations and expectations to avoid potential future disagreements and conflict. Keep in contact and keep…
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