What Men and Women Can Teach Each Other During Divorce
Whether divorce was on the horizon or comes as a sudden shock, there are bits of wisdom that both genders can learn from each other. Men and women have spilled divorce secrets which can be beneficial to many. One may be in the right, however fighting to be the winner drains energy and finances. In the end, it is the lawyers who win by receiving more in legal fees. Men I interviewed advised to be agreeable to negotiating. When an individual is not heavily attached to a particular outcome, then the other side is apt to budge a little more. This is where the popular phrase “Don’t sweat the small stuff” comes into play. Men mentioned that they picked their battles. These guys were less interested in household furnishings and by offering to give up the bulk of it to their wives, this made going after the big-ticket items easier. There was less squabbling over pension plans, IRAs and investments when their wives already felt that they were ahead. Men suggested being proactive when it comes to visitation and custody. They offer to give up time that they have with the children, so that the kids can celebrate Mother’s Day with mom. Their ex-spouses appreciate this gesture and keep it in mind when the dads need a more flexible schedule. Mothers and fathers have told me that a Parenting Plan written during divorce has made life easier afterwards. They did not have to go back and forth on small issues, but rather referred to the document. One may be dating during a separation, but women have emphasized to be discrete during proceedings. The goal is to get through divorce as quickly as possible without drama, with both sides feeling the outcome is somewhat fair. Going out on the town with…
Flirting – The Dos and Don’ts
Flirting can put a spring in your step and a smile on your face. Flirting is an innocent interaction that lets people realize that both find the other attractive, without an agenda. The Merriam-Webster definition is “To behave amorously without serous intent.” There is no promise of intimacy or anything else. Europeans often have a more relaxed attitude about this. Some Americans that I interviewed for this article, seemed to think flirting was a prelude to a sexual encounter. I had a short flirtation while in the queue at a post office in London. The parting wink was lovely too. More often I have these flirtatious moments in France or Italy. Be open to them when at home or on the road. What are the parameters? Are you in a safe place (public)? Are you where one of you has to stay put (like on a city bus or behind a counter)? No overt sexual remarks or references to body parts (breasts) are made. You both feel comfortable with the interaction. There is a café where the staff are also writers, singers, therapist and so forth. I flirt shamelessly with one guy who works there and is quite charming . We laugh a lot. Would we ever go out? No way. The bonus is I take more care with my appearance when I am out and about – which is beneficial when running into colleagues and potential buyers for my book. Flirting with someone at a bar or club can be an invitation to something more. Flirting at a party can be iffy. You are amongst people, yet the other individual may think that they will get lucky. There is a balance of power between equals – not a boss and subordinate engaging in this activity. Be careful of being flirtatious at your workplace…
Civil Partnerships for Opposite-Sex Couples Denied by the Court of Appeal
A couple from London have lost a Court of Appeal battle to have a civil partnership instead of a marriage. However, the ruling which said they did not meet the legal expectations of being the same sex still stood following the challenge. There is a possibility that this was a breach of their human rights but the couple were still going to fight the ruling with an appeal being submitted to the Supreme Court. Why would a civil partnership be chosen instead of marriage? The government have a wait and see policy when it comes to looking at the numbers of the same sex civil partnerships but this was deemed to be unacceptable when it came to looking at the discrimination that heterosexual couples may face. However, judges are willing to give the government additional time and that is what caused the case to be lost. Many believe that the institution of marriage is not completely equal as it depends on your religion but many felt that a civil partnership gave people a choice while some just want to have their relationship recognised. At this moment in time, the government has decided that civil partnerships should not be extended to opposite sex couples but it has decided to see how extending marriage to same sex couples could affect civil partnerships. The ruling could be a sign that love and equality have been defeated because it cannot be right that gay couples have the option of a civil partnership or civil marriage when same-sex couples only have one option which is to get married. As a result of this decision, many people are now waiting for the government to shut the civil partnership loophole by making it accessible to everyone. A debate is due to take place where MP’s will discuss…
Starting Divorce – What Initial Steps to Take
Fear of the unknown can make the early stage of divorce scary. Juggling child care, finances and the uncertainty of the outcome adds to one’s stress. Getting expert legal advice at the onset can allay some of these fears and make the divorce process smoother. Acknowledge that your world is drastically changing. Hold on to some rituals, such as weekly hikes with pals or a pint with your mates. My sons and I had pizza with a DVD every Friday evening all through my divorce. Having routines gives a constancy during divorce when life is so unpredictable. Realize what you have control over and what is out of your hands in your divorce situation. Concentrate on what you have in your power, such what you do on the job, rather than what is not – your spouse’s behaviour.One may receive or have to pay a fixed amount of maintenance. That may appear to be a financial issue that cannot change. However you can control your spending which then frees up extra cash. One way to control legal fees is going to Paradigm Family Law’s web site and checking out their fixed price packages for divorce. Knowing what your divorce will cost prevents an unpleasant surprise down the road. During our collaborative one, our financial advisor mandated that we write down our expenditures for a fortnight. This information helped me to cut out the unnecessary ones and come up with a down payment for my new house. If on a tight budget, involve the children with their input on how to cut costs. My sons suggested some great family activities which were free, such as concerts, festivals, picnics and more. If your divorce seems to be moving too quickly or you feel your world is collapsing, take a short break to…
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