International Child Abduction
Abduction is taking a child out of the country without the other parent’s permission. This can be due to being uninformed about the law or as an intentional act with possibly going into hiding. It can be part of a war between two parents without the child’s best interest at heart. Depending upon one’s divorce decree, it may be that one parent only has to inform the other regarding a planned journey abroad. This is more in the case where one parent has physical custody and the other has limited contact, such as with abuse. In the UK it may be possible to take a child out of the country for under one month without permission, when the youngster primarily lives with one parent. Check with your lawyer first. It is much easier and less traumatic to take measures in order to prevent kidnapping rather than deal with it after the fact. Look at odd behaviors of the other parent which may indicate that there is a flight risk. Have they quit their job, sold their house and seem to be cutting ties with the community? Certainly if the kids mention that the co-parent wants to move – take notice without pumping them for information. There are precautions to take. Obtain legal counsel to ensure you are doing everything possible to prevent an abduction. Who holds the kids’ passports, you or the co-parent? If you have them in your possession, do not hand them over to the other parent without legal advice. My ex requested my sons’ passports for a trip to Mexico. The teens refused to leave the country with him, so I kept the passports. When kids are older, they may have more say in declining a jaunt abroad. If the youngsters are dual citizens, check with the…
Helping Adult Offspring When You Divorce
Adult offspring are sometimes an overlooked group when it comes to divorce. Support is given to youngsters with more people looking out for them, such as teachers and coaches. Although adult offspring may have encouraged unhappy parents to split – it is not okay to utilize them as sounding boards or guidance counsellors. Parents can fall into the trap of using their grown up kids as a confidant. Thirty years post-divorce, my friend’s father felt the need to spill the ugly details of the reason behind their divorce. Lena vaguely remembered something about her mum had an affair. Hearing the lurid tales about it was quite upsetting, with her dad stating that he was only telling her this “To set the record straight.” These big kids are not to be privy to divorce details even years later, when in their fifties. Although they are adults, these individuals are still dealing with divorce issues. These sons and daughters may be losing their family home which is jarring even when living many kilometres away. This means sorting through their childhood memorabilia in the midst of angry parents divvying up personal assets. They need some space away from both parents. Having distance is helpful in processing their mixed emotions, especially if the divorce news was a jolt out of the blue. An adult son or daughter may appear to have it altogether, but can be hurt little kids inside. Do not assume they are alright – ask if they are okay. They may be afraid to burden you with their unresolved issues, so encourage them to express their feelings to friends. Having a talk with their godparent or older family friend can be therapeutic. If they are floundering, a divorce coach can help them deal with the divorce situation. Just as with young…
Family Law and Brexit – What could it all mean?
The British public have spoken and they have made the decision to leave the EU but the ramifications of that decision is still yet unknown but how will it affect family law? A recent report stated how important the EU laws are on UK family laws but this is all likely to change now the UK is leaving the EU. The courts are already handling a high volume of cases and the departure could make it difficult for the courts to cope even further. Legal aid has been reduced and the courts are going through structural changes which mean that problems could lie ahead. Many aspects of family law would be affected by the decision. The divorce process is the same throughout the EU and it has been a success but a new UK law would have to be put in place. Suggestions have been made that the new law should be similar to the EU law. The EU also regulates maintenance proceedings and international child law would also be affected. However, there could be a benefit to the UK leave the EU when it comes to marital agreements because the EU has imposed marital agreements without seeking independent legal advice which has often cause confusion. Therefore, the decision to leave could result in proposals that were put forward in 2014 being implemented and this would lead to England and Wales supporting the importance of seeking independent legal advice as a method of dealing with other issues. While future implications of leaving the EU are unknown, Resolution has stated that there is no doubt that the future is looking uncertain. Just in the same way as other areas of legislation, family law in the UK is naturally linked to that in other jurisdictions. The uniformed jurisdictional rules put forward by…
Vacations for Single Parents, NZ and Australia
When one is newly divorced, there is the dilemma of where to go on vacation. Do you repeat family trips that you did while still married, or start different types of adventures with the kids? Is it sad or reassuring to follow vacation rituals from pre-divorce? A little over a year after my divorce, my healthy mother had a quick series of vascular events and ended up in Hospice. My two sons and I already had a week cruise to Alaska scheduled and Hospice insisted that we go on it, since we were on the verge of breakdowns. This time was so special and we bonded over having normal conversations again that did not involve death. The incredible scenery and other passengers were just the tonic we needed at this point. Before she had her medical crisis, my mother had demanded that we go on a Christmas/New Year’s cruise to Australia and New Zealand (I am an only child). While on board the ship in Alaska, it seemed like she was whispering in my ear to book the holiday trip for my two sons and me. Holland America kept saying that there was availability, but the pricing was not correct. They had to give the cruise to us at the price on their computer, which was three for the price of one passenger! The day this happened turned out to be the very day my mother passed away. That was her parting gift to us. My travel agent later said that this nominal cost was unbelievable. What a special adventure this turned out to be and a more pleasant way of spending our first Christmas without her company. We flew into Auckland, NZ, checked into our ship, and threw our luggage into our cabin. Several people told us before we…
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