Psychological Abuse in Marriage and After Divorce
Psychological Abuse during marriage can leave a former spouse questioning their own capabilities and mental status. It is debilitating and can have long lasting effects. Psychological abuse is sometimes referred to as “gas lighting” after the 1941 thriller starring Ingrid Bergman and Charles Boyer. In the film, Paula is a newlywed returning to the house of her murdered aunt. Her new husband manipulates her into doubting her memory, experiences and eventuality her sanity. Paula sees the gas lights flicker and hears footsteps overhead when her spouse is supposedly not home. He convinces Paula that she is going insane for his own sinister purpose. A spouse committing gas lighting may be setting up a situation (as in the film) and telling their spouse that it is all in their head. The goal is to have someone question what is real and exert control over them. Psychological abuse is using words and actions to destroy another person without physical violence. Partners may be told that they are too sensitive, suspicious or jealous. Making a “joke” that demeans a spouse when the intention is to tear them down is abuse. It is a stream of criticisms and cruelty over a period of time. A psychological abuser often attempts to isolate the person from their friends and family. This increases their power over the spouse and lessens the chance others will persuade them to initiate divorce. When someone feels helpless, they are less likely to leave. The target of this abuse questions their intelligence and being able to be on their own. Think about your marital situation. Have your friends fallen by the wayside? Are you out of touch with relatives? Are you doubting your talents? Are you belittled when in the presence or others? If feeling uncomfortable and doubtful about your well-being and…
International Child Abduction
Abduction is taking a child out of the country without the other parent’s permission. This can be due to being uninformed about the law or as an intentional act with possibly going into hiding. It can be part of a war between two parents without the child’s best interest at heart. Depending upon one’s divorce decree, it may be that one parent only has to inform the other regarding a planned journey abroad. This is more in the case where one parent has physical custody and the other has limited contact, such as with abuse. In the UK it may be possible to take a child out of the country for under one month without permission, when the youngster primarily lives with one parent. Check with your lawyer first. It is much easier and less traumatic to take measures in order to prevent kidnapping rather than deal with it after the fact. Look at odd behaviors of the other parent which may indicate that there is a flight risk. Have they quit their job, sold their house and seem to be cutting ties with the community? Certainly if the kids mention that the co-parent wants to move – take notice without pumping them for information. There are precautions to take. Obtain legal counsel to ensure you are doing everything possible to prevent an abduction. Who holds the kids’ passports, you or the co-parent? If you have them in your possession, do not hand them over to the other parent without legal advice. My ex requested my sons’ passports for a trip to Mexico. The teens refused to leave the country with him, so I kept the passports. When kids are older, they may have more say in declining a jaunt abroad. If the youngsters are dual citizens, check with the…
Helping Adult Offspring When You Divorce
Adult offspring are sometimes an overlooked group when it comes to divorce. Support is given to youngsters with more people looking out for them, such as teachers and coaches. Although adult offspring may have encouraged unhappy parents to split – it is not okay to utilize them as sounding boards or guidance counsellors. Parents can fall into the trap of using their grown up kids as a confidant. Thirty years post-divorce, my friend’s father felt the need to spill the ugly details of the reason behind their divorce. Lena vaguely remembered something about her mum had an affair. Hearing the lurid tales about it was quite upsetting, with her dad stating that he was only telling her this “To set the record straight.” These big kids are not to be privy to divorce details even years later, when in their fifties. Although they are adults, these individuals are still dealing with divorce issues. These sons and daughters may be losing their family home which is jarring even when living many kilometres away. This means sorting through their childhood memorabilia in the midst of angry parents divvying up personal assets. They need some space away from both parents. Having distance is helpful in processing their mixed emotions, especially if the divorce news was a jolt out of the blue. An adult son or daughter may appear to have it altogether, but can be hurt little kids inside. Do not assume they are alright – ask if they are okay. They may be afraid to burden you with their unresolved issues, so encourage them to express their feelings to friends. Having a talk with their godparent or older family friend can be therapeutic. If they are floundering, a divorce coach can help them deal with the divorce situation. Just as with young…
Family Law and Brexit – What could it all mean?
The British public have spoken and they have made the decision to leave the EU but the ramifications of that decision is still yet unknown but how will it affect family law? A recent report stated how important the EU laws are on UK family laws but this is all likely to change now the UK is leaving the EU. The courts are already handling a high volume of cases and the departure could make it difficult for the courts to cope even further. Legal aid has been reduced and the courts are going through structural changes which mean that problems could lie ahead. Many aspects of family law would be affected by the decision. The divorce process is the same throughout the EU and it has been a success but a new UK law would have to be put in place. Suggestions have been made that the new law should be similar to the EU law. The EU also regulates maintenance proceedings and international child law would also be affected. However, there could be a benefit to the UK leave the EU when it comes to marital agreements because the EU has imposed marital agreements without seeking independent legal advice which has often cause confusion. Therefore, the decision to leave could result in proposals that were put forward in 2014 being implemented and this would lead to England and Wales supporting the importance of seeking independent legal advice as a method of dealing with other issues. While future implications of leaving the EU are unknown, Resolution has stated that there is no doubt that the future is looking uncertain. Just in the same way as other areas of legislation, family law in the UK is naturally linked to that in other jurisdictions. The uniformed jurisdictional rules put forward by…
SIGN UP FOR OUR NEWSLETTER
© 2023 Wendi’s Tips. All Rights Reserved. Website by Noventum