Sign Up for
Our Newsletter

Global Guide to Divorce

Jack Jack the Cat

DIVORCE

How To Choose The Right Mediator For Your Case

When disputants devote time and effort in selecting the best mediator for their case, the return is more than simply getting a professional and experienced mediator — the fact that the selection is made by mutual consent may generate a collaborative environment before

Finding the best mediator for your situation is the first and most crucial step in the mediation procedure. You want a highly qualified mediator with expertise in Family law mediation and a style necessary for the conflict and the individuals involved.the official mediation ever begins.

 

Do I require the services of a lawyer?

An attorney is not always required for effective mediation. A skilled mediator will grasp the situation based on the pre-mediation statements (if they are utilized) and know how to maintain the conversations fair.

 

If you currently have an attorney or plan to employ one, ask her to assist you in selecting a mediator. Many attorneys are mediators or are well-versed in the mediation options offered in their field of practice. The presence or absence of your attorney at the mediation should be discussed prior to the mediation.

 

Factors to Consider When Finding a Mediator

 

      1.    Allow the Other Party to Choose

 

Although it may appear to be a compromise before even beginning the mediation, allowing the opposing side to select the mediator gets the mediation process started in the correct direction.

For starters, it demonstrates that you are prepared to compromise and are genuinely interested in reaching an agreement. Second, while the mediator is discussing your viewpoint with the other party and, ideally, trying to persuade them in your favour, the mediator already has authority with the opposing party since they picked him or her as their mediator.

Finally, though mediation aims to solve the issue, it is crucial to realize that if you do not agree with the mediator’s stance during the mediation process, you are not required to settle the matter. Mediation is not legally binding, and there is no need to agree on a date for the mediation. If the mediator appointed by the opposing party fails, subsequent attempts, maybe with a new mediator, may be productive. 

 

      2.   Background of the Mediator

 

Despite the fact that it is normal to acquire CVs and other background information from experts at trial, parties sometimes fail to collect the same information about the mediator. Based on the type of case, it is critical to collect whatever information the mediator may have on his technical knowledge and/or familiarity with the complexity of your case. It is also helpful to know whether the mediator has previously practised or is now practising as a plaintiff and/or defence attorney, as well as the jurisdiction in which he or she mainly operates.

The mediator can be more convincing if he or she is familiar with the jurisdiction and the individuals involved, including the prospective jury pool and judges. It is critical to understand whether the mediator is familiar with the subjects that will be discussed, such as construction, healthcare, or appellate difficulties. A mediator who is aware and skilled about such issues can only help the case to be resolved.

 

      3.   Flexibility

 

While many mediators have a precise formula for mediation scheduling, it is critical that a mediator be creative and willing in terms of how medications can best be managed on an individual basis.

A mediator who is open to recommendations and prepared to listen to the parties about waiving opening statements or even the positioning or position of the parties around an office is vital and might be the difference between a good mediation and a failed mediation.

 

      4.   Follow-through

 

Many mediations fail to resolve their issues on the scheduled mediation date. It is critical to understand and consider how frequently the mediator resolves cases in the weeks or even months after the original mediation. Mediators who phone (and/or harass) both sides after the mediation date are typically quite efficient.

These mediators demonstrate that they sincerely care about their success rate as mediators and do not think that their job ends on the mediation day.

 

      5.   Recommendations

 

Word of mouth is a great approach to get recommendations for mediators who are most suited to a particular situation. While the lawyer handling the matter may have some ideas for a mediator, information obtained at trade meetings, industry meetings, and even from rivals might lead to the names of mediators recognized by others in the sector. It is critical to keep your ears open at all times and to inquire of people about positive experiences they may have had with particular mediators.

 

      6.   Respect

 

Finally, the most critical criterion to consider when selecting a mediator is that all parties appreciate the mediator. For example, suppose a person of the court retires and has become a mediator, and you didn’t obey him when he was on the court. In that case, you are unlikely to be susceptible to his powers of persuasion when he discusses your case. If, on the other hand, the mediator has been recommended by one of your respected colleagues and arrives with a good recommendation (or better yet, a few strong references), mediation is more likely to succeed.

 

Final Words

 

The advantage of choosing the right mediator for your case goes beyond simply finding a professional and experienced mediator; the fact that the choice is made by mutual consent has a beneficial psychological effect in generating a collaborative environment before the actual mediation process even begins. The selecting process will need some time and work, but it will be well worth it. Remember to make informed decisions!

 

Bio-

 

At Family law mediation Australia, we are careful about our Mediators’ expertise and competencies. Each team member is a certified family lawyer with extensive expertise in both family law issues and mediation. Our mediators are all nationally accredited and certified Family Dispute Resolution Professionals.

5 Steps to Entrepreneurship for Stay-at-Home Moms

For single, recently divorced mothers, figuring out how to balance work with childcare is challenging. Maybe it’s time to consider starting your own home-based business. And with a little support from Wendi of Global Guide to Divorce, you’ll feel confident about becoming a “mompreneur!” If you’re interested in opening a home-based business, these tips will help you in every step of the process.   

Come Up With a Business Idea  

Naturally, deciding on your business idea should be the first item on your to-do list! Frugal Budgeter recommends thinking about possibilities like becoming a bookkeeper, a proofreader, a social media manager, or even selling arts and crafts.

You’ll also need to decide how you want to price your products or services. To determine how much you’ll charge, consider your own fixed expenses, the cost of any materials you’ll need, and what your time is worth based on your previous income from W2 jobs.   

Hire Freelance Help   

As a business owner and stay-at-home single mom, you’re inevitably going to have a lot on your plate — but you don’t have to handle all of your entrepreneurial responsibilities on your own! Instead, you can hire freelance experts for help.

For instance, you could work with a freelance web designer to set up your company website or a social media manager to outline a digital marketing plan. And rather than trying to design a logo on your own, you can hire a graphic designer — to illustrate, freelance graphic designer pricing is approximately between $15 and $35 per hour. To find a graphic designer (or any other freelancer, for that matter), you can browse online job platforms and check out reviews, estimated delivery times, and rates before hiring someone.

What if you also need support navigating your divorce and getting back on your feet? You can turn to Wendi Global Guide for Divorce for coaching!  

Start Networking   

Now, you’re ready to work with your first clients or customers! But how can you land those initial sales? The secret is networking. As a new entrepreneur, you need to get the word out about your business! Startup Nation recommends joining groups with other professionals in your industry. If attending networking events in person with your kids in tow would be tough, you can connect with virtual groups instead.  

Working From Home With Kids  

When you’re running a business and raising a family at the same time, it’s easy to feel overwhelmed. To stay productive while working from home with your kids, Healthline recommends picking out a few quieter activities that your kids can do during the workday, sticking to a regular schedule for the household, and aiming to get more work finished while the kids are napping. If your kids spend time with their other parent as part of your custody agreement, you can also plan to get extra work done during those days. Hiring a babysitter on your busiest days is also an option.  

Bring an Assistant on Board   

If you need a hand with your business, you may want to hire a virtual assistant to help you stay on top of everything you need to do, freeing up more time for you to spend with your kids! To find a reliable assistant, you should look for someone who has fantastic attention to detail, the ability to multitask effectively, great writing skills, and basic accounting skills.

After a divorce, it can take some time to move forward in your personal and professional life. If you’re staying home with your children for the foreseeable future, starting your own business can give you a new goal and a sense of fulfillment. With these tips, you’ll be prepared to succeed as a “mompreneur!”

Are you trying to navigate life after a divorce? You’re not alone, and the resources from Global Guide to Divorce can help you make it through. Reach out to Wendi for a coaching session today.

Author Kelli Brewer is proud of her military family and is passionate in supporting military families. Together with her husband, they created DeployCare to offer understanding and support to our service members and their families before, during, and after deployments.

 

How to Make Remote Work Possible With a Baby or Toddler at Home

Over the last year, more and more people have had to transition to learning how to work remotely. Even as COVID-19 cases have been reduced, the odds are good that many parents are working out of a home office for the time being. Although remote work limits your risk of spreading the coronavirus, it’s also a major productivity challenge all on its own. Add a very little one to the mix, and things can get hectic, fast.

However, there are ways you can keep your cool, stay productive, eliminate household stress, and manage your household all at once. Wendi’s Tips shares some of the best techniques working parents can use to get through the next few months with their sanity intact.

Dress for Comfort

When you’re taking care of a little one, you’re on the go a lot. Parents of young children spend a lot of time kneeling down, playing on the ground, and chasing after budding crawlers and walkers. If you don’t have access to child care, this is still going to be true while you’re working remotely. The fact that you’re also going to be juggling work is only more reason to focus on wearing comfy clothes.

Now, we’re not saying you should stay in your pajamas all day — that’s not the world’s best look on video calls. However, split the difference with comfortable, fashionable items. You can get yourself a whole cozy remote work wardrobe without spending too much if you keep your eye out for sales at shops like Dillards. This can be an especially good move for new moms — elastic waistbands are your friend for those first few months.

Get Help If Possible

Depending on your situation, you may be able to ask a local friend or family member to bubble up with you and be a dedicated babysitter. Your parents, siblings, or close friends might be willing and able to take this on for you. Have a clear open conversation about what level of quarantine and self-isolation everyone wants out of the bubble. It’s important to be on the same page in order to make sure no one inadvertently crosses a line.

However, we understand that this won’t be feasible for everyone. If you can’t find anyone who can bubble with you, you might still be able to get a little bit of babysitting out of interested loved ones. For example, you can look into setting a friend up as your virtual babysitter. This works by setting your child up with a video chat with the friend or family member in question. It’s not a perfect solution — you definitely still need to be in the room so you can keep your little one safe — but they can hold your child’s attention while you knock out a task or two. Remember, video chats are thought to be a healthy, productive form of screen time!

Ask for Flexibility

At the end of the day, your best bet over the next few months might be asking for flexibility at work. For example, you might ask if, apart from meetings, you can work during non-traditional work hours. If you have a partner who also works from home, see if you can organize it so one of you works earlier than the traditional 9–5 and the other, later. This will give both of you more time to dedicate your full attention to your child or your work, rather than try to split it between both.

Enhance Your Career Prospects  

Now that you’re working remotely, have you considered giving your career a boost? Online degree programs allow you to complete your coursework from home and work at a pace that you can adapt to your family obligations. There are all sorts of online programs available, including those with degrees for business, teaching, nursing, and accounting.

These aren’t the only options, so go into the conversation with an open mind and a few ideas for what might work. You and your supervisor can collaborate to come up with a solution that works for your family and your team. Remember — this is all temporary. Come up with a plan for the next few months, and try to take things one day at a time. Soon, this will all be behind you.

Author Janice Russell believes the only way to survive parenthood is to find the humor in it. She created Parenting Disasters so that parents would have a go-to resource whenever they needed a laugh, but also to show parents they aren’t alone. She wants every frazzled parent out there to remember that for every kid stuck in a toilet, there’s another one out there somewhere who’s just graced their parents’ walls with some Sharpie artwork!

Why Playfulness Is Important

Playfulness is a way to reduce stress and get through the minutia and tasks required during  stressful times, such as divorce. Besides helping life to be more bearable when juggling proceedings, children and a job, a sense of playfulness lowers anxiety. Being in a calmer state is beneficial for making those crucial decisions regarding splitting assets and so forth.

There are various studies on the benefits of playfulness in getting through adversity (such as divorce) and contributing to longevity. Dr Proyer from the University of Zurich has done much research on adult playfulness and states these individuals cope better with stress and being able to adapt to situations. One study found that playfulness increased one’s well-being and resilience. When I was a nurse on a busy trauma unit, most of us were burned out with patients hovering between life and death. The two playful nurses who wadded up paper to bat around like a ball, were not. In-between patient codes and procedures, these fellows made up games and were the most relaxed nurses on the unit.

Professor Barret at University of Illinois also found that playful folks are better able to handle stress. These individuals perceived their stress levels to be lower, than the less playful subjects in the study. When people are playful, they have better strategies to deal with stress according to her research. Mistakes are more likely to be viewed as learning opportunities rather than as blunders.

Consider the advantages to having a playful outlook during divorce. One is better able to utilize coping strategies during this stressful time and less likely to fall apart. A person can take a pause from proceedings and be engrossed in pleasurable activities. Playing lets out some steam and enables one to see the humorous side of life. Children benefit by being around laughter and spontaneity instead of glum parents.

Playfulness improves cognitive, emotional and social functioning as was reported In the American Journal of Play, Summer 2011 edition. Good mental (cognitive) functioning is necessary when going through finances and deciding whether to sell the marital home or buy out one’s spouse during divorce. Other studies found that playful folks draw people to them. They are open, fun to be around, engaging and positive. Being able to connect with others and have a network of support enables one to move through the craziness of divorce. Being bitter and negative post-divorce can push people away.

An example of the longevity benefits of playfulness are the elderly Chinese in Beijing. These senior citizens were dancing to the music from their boom boxes, doing Tai Chi, playing board games, plus more. They laughed, indulged in badminton and chatted. They clearly enjoyed their time together and were extremely active physically and mentally. There were no wheelchairs or walkers in that group. This contrasts to a divorced woman I knew in the States, who was anything but playful and died of a heart attack.

I was at Disneyland with my sons when I decided to initiate divorce. I called family and friends between rides on Snow White, Mr. Toad’s Wild Adventure and Indiana Jones. I was forced to be playful in this atmosphere and that started my divorce in a much more relaxed way. Figuring out finances was less stressful when standing in line for The Haunted Mansion. My sons were relieved that divorce was about to happen. Disneyland set the tone for keeping playfulness throughout my divorce.

There are ways to be more light-hearted during proceedings. Plan at least one weekly get-together with pals to vent or catch up on news. Having support helps to lighten your burden. Spend time in nature which is calming, even if in a small leafy city square. My sons and I watched comedies and laughed a lot. Go to a fair and act like a kid. Get out of town to spend a day walking along the beach and enjoying the amusements on the boardwalk. My mother took my sons and I on a river cruise during divorce, which was approved by both of our attorneys. That took our minds off the divorce and into the play mode. Think of how to inject some fun into your agenda on a regular basis, and divorce will go a bit smoother.

My article was originally printed in DivorceForce   www.divorceforce.com/

Tips On How To Set Priorities During Divorce

How to set priorities when too many things are bombarding you at once?  Divorce is a time when one can be scattered.  Too many decisions requiring immediate attention. You may feel like you are on a roller coaster speeding along over the ups and downs. How to stop this craziness and get back on track? Set priorities. How to get started?

Make A Check List

What is your most important issue or concern? Or your top fear? For many, it could be housing. “Do I have to vacate the marital home with the children?” When finances are uncertain, the question may be “Will I have to move house in a hurry without Plan B?”

Write down whatever it is. Underneath that, list any resources or ways which you can deal with this issue. You might surprise yourself with options which had not occurred to you before. This is an example, with housing. Temporarily move in a relative’s spare room. Or at a nominal cost, take the bedroom of your empty nester friend whose offspring is doing a gap year abroad. Be creative and think outside of the box when coming up with solutions.

Do the same with the lesser issues. A check list of what is bothering you and what you can do about it helps you to get organised. You feel more in control of your divorce situation when brain storming and coming up with ideas.

What Needs To Be Done First?

Determine what are the most important tasks. Rather than attempting to accomplish many things at once, focus on what needs to be done first. Then second, third and so forth. What is urgent (getting financial records together) and what is less so (deciding which pieces of furniture you would like to get).

Rather than being like a squirrel who goes off the path to check out each shiny object – stay on the path. You can notice each shiny object, just do not get distracted and go after each one. Stay on the path and finish the task you are doing. Yes, task #2, #3, #4 have to be done. Concentrate on which one has the most importance and then go down the list.

Feeling Scattered

During divorce, you may find that your attention wanders. You feel scattered. At work, focus on your job tasks, not on splitting assets. When out with friends, enjoy their company. Focus on what activity you are doing, not on what needs to be done next week. This helps to keep you grounded.

Setting Goals

Part of setting priorities is determining your goals. What is a realistic outcome in your divorce? What is it that you want the most? Is it the house? Pension plan? Think about what your priority is when dividing assets – your main goal. Discuss this with your solicitor.

What are your other goals, such as with co-parenting? Is it that the children go to a day school or to a boarding school? Maybe it is that you both live in the same city and not across the UK from each other. It is easier to get details worked out during the divorce process than to take legal action at a later date.

Personal Priorities

Are you feeling stretched in many directions? Go over personal priorities in your life. What is important? What drains your energy?  This is the time to start saying “No, sorry I can’t” a bit more often. You may have to let go of some commitments in order to have time for what is most dear to you.

Do you want to spend more time relaxing with the kids at home? You may have to cut down on socialising to achieve this. Not cut it out, but rather making adjustments. Some people give so much to others that they feel exhausted. Take care of yourself first in this stressful time.

If you are doing too much, what tasks can be delegated at home and at work? Children can pitch in and do more chores. My sons learned how to do their laundry and to cook. This was time-saving with enabling me then to focus on the important tasks of my divorce. One son discovered he enjoyed cooking so much, that he got a degree in Culinary Arts and is a cook at a great restaurant.

Look At The Big Picture

What is it that you crave? Where do you see yourself heading In the near future? Next year? In five years?  Are you on the right path?  Lowering your stress level helps to get you out of the panic mode. When one is calmer, it is easier to set priorities. There are many avenues – homeopathic remedies, retreats, consulting a health professional etc. to decrease stress and anxiety.

When feeling overwhelmed and not being able to focus, discuss this with your solicitor. They have heard this before and can guide you in the right direction.

 

 

 

 

 

Co-parenting With a Difficult Ex: 5 Tips to Make It Easier

For a divorced parent, dealing with a difficult ex can be exhausting, emotionally draining, and damaging to the kids.

Co-parenting well is difficult enough with two happy parents. When your former partner, however, is non-understanding, the task seems impossible at times.

Here are the top 5 tips to be an effective co-parent

Set boundaries

Make sure you will not engage in negative communication or behavior with your ex. Simply, let your ex know that you will not discuss the matter in front of the children. Instead, ask your ex to send an email, providing it concerns a decision to be made about the children.

Although you cannot change the way your ex communicates with you, you can change the way you interact with your ex. Communicating through email dilutes the emotion.  When responding to emails, only address the specific issues concerning the children and ignore other irrelevant comments or accusations. Make sure to stick to the point, without judgment or criticism.

Do not criticize your ex

Keep your personal feelings about your ex aside and refuse to bad mouth your ex to your children. Also, do not engage in negative communication with family or friends, as your children might hear you.

Just like you do with your children, you need to resolve your battles with your ex. Find out which parenting issue is vital to you, where you can compromise, and where you are willing to let go.

Create a future plan

Putting all differences aside, try to sit down with your ex and create a plan that focuses on meeting the requirements of your children.  If required, ask a neutral or common party to be present to help you stay focused on the plan and even offer an objective opinion.

As part of your future plan, do discuss your new relationship goals as co-parents. Often, divorced couples fail to do this. Do not go like them, instead find out your relationship boundaries as co-parents to be, or look like.

Go unbiased

If you have issues with the way parenting is going, discuss it with your ex. Make sure to stay honest and give valid reasons to support your point of view. Be open to listening to your ex point of view as well. Maybe, you both hold different views but that does not mean one of you is right and the other is wrong. Co-parenting is not about winning for each other, it’s about focusing on the kids’ best interest.

Do not involve your kids

Never put your children in the position to help sort their parents’ issues. They should not be loaded with issues and circumstances that they cannot control.  As a parent, you might have to make sacrifices for your child’s happiness. Regardless of how another parent behaves, you need to take care of your actions, choices, and words. Simply, try to be your child’s role model by behaving appropriately at all times, and keeping your issues aside.

If you are going through the challenges of single parenting and are worried about the impact on children, do follow the above tips to make co-parenting easier.

Author Bio:

Willow Anderson Law is an Edina-based family law firm dedicated to guiding you through life-altering transitions while minimizing damage to your well-being, your children, and your financial future.We know how challenging family law matters like divorce, custody, and spousal/child support can be. That’s why our Minnesota family law firm is dedicated to attentive listening, straight-forward communication, and thoughtful advocacy on your behalf.

What are Some Common Financial Mistakes Made During a Divorce?

A divorce is usually a time of great instability. Almost everyone involved in the process is said to go through a tremendous personal change to come out as a different person at the other end.

Amid the emotional crisis and the ensuing paperwork, it is customary to forget to take care of some crucial details, especially when it comes to finances.

Throughout the marriage, you and your spouse must have made financial investments together. It is not always obvious how to share these assets equitably.

Decisions made in the heat of the moment without considering your future income and expenditure can have lasting implications. Here are some of the most common financial mistakes spouses make during a divorce, and how to avoid them. It is best to discuss these with a qualified professional such as a divorce attorney for detailed info.

Not Keeping an Eye on Joint & Individual Finances

This is not a healthy marital practice. Always calculate how much you and your spouse have invested financially in the marriage by all parameters such as a personal source of income, joint expenditure, investments, and so on.

If you let the other person handle this, it will put you at an unfair advantage. In a worst-case scenario, you might miss out on calculating assets that your spouse has kept hidden, which is illegal.

You are entitled to your ex’s employer-funded pensions and investments. Work benefits, company shares, and 401(k)s are all subject to division. Remember to include your spouse’s investments when predicting and calculating your earnings from the divorce.

Underestimating your Expenditure Post-divorce

Since you’ve yet to experience a life without your partner, you might overlook aspects such as a fall in overall income and an increase in personal spending after divorce. Make sure you calculate these factors beforehand, preferably with the help of a divorce lawyer.

Your calculations should include the current standard of living, future inflation, and insurance premiums. Both you and your spouse should also consider your cost of living during the divorce period itself, which sometimes takes months from the date of separation.

Assuming Equal Division is Fair by Default

Equal doesn’t always mean equitable. The value of some assets, such as property or bonds, can increase more than their market value in time. Hence, fair sharing of property should be based on its expected monetary value.

Beth W. Barbosa, divorce attorney at a prominent divorce and family law firm in Edina, Minnesota, can assist in this breakdown of assets and their value.

Splitting the house itself can be a tricky one. If you choose to keep the house for emotional reasons, know that financial returns on the house vary greatly depending on external circumstances. What seemed like a good idea might end up costing you a lot more in terms of the mortgage, maintenance, and property tax.

Not Filing Proper Paperwork

A Qualified Domestic Relations Order (QDRO) is legal proof of how you and your spouse would divide a contribution plan, such as a 401(k), 403(b), 457 plans, or a pension plan. Even your spouse’s employer is legally bound to pay you the share agreed upon in the document. Don’t forget to fill it up at the time of the settlement.

Ignoring Tax Liabilities, Debts

Certain assets come with tax liabilities after settlement. For example, the alimony tax distributed over time might be more than the tax deducted on a lump sum. Always go by the value of an investment after removing tax liability. The same goes for debts such as credit card debt and bank loans. Obligations taken together during the marriage should be considered while sharing.

Seeking Bad Legal Counsel

Choosing the right divorce attorney can save you from a lot of stress and burden, but not every type of lawyer suits everyone. Find a lawyer who understands your needs. Someone not too aggressive to cause further friction between parties. A lawyer who can find a resolution in the shortest time possible, thereby reducing the cost of litigation fees. A good lawyer can also mediate a compromise between parties without involving the courts, saving a lot of time and money.

Author Bio: Beth W. Barbosa  is a family law attorney in Edina, Minnesota who represents family law clients in the seven-county metro area. With over 20 years of high-profile experience as a family law attorney, Beth W. Barbosa focuses on high-asset divorces, gray divorces, child custody, co-parenting, and more.

Beth W. Barbosa is a knowledgeable  estate planning lawyer to guide you through this complicated process. Beth aims to be there for her clients to take some of the stress and confusion out of family law proceedings.

With over 20 years of experience as a divorce attorney, Beth Barbosa can provide you with reliable, unique, and innovative solutions to your family law issues. Regardless of the details of a specific case, Beth ensures that you and your spouse move forward with grace and dignity after the proceeding’s conclusion. Resolve your financial issues with Beth today and take time to heal without worry.

 

 

Divorce Or Break Up After the Holidays

People who are only staying together for the sake of the kids may find holidays extra challenging. A parent who was trying to stay married until at least her youngest daughter was close to going to college planned a cruise over Christmas. Yes, she only had to be with her spouse in a festive group setting, but the cruise only slightly delayed the inevitable. She filed for divorce the following February long before her target date. The holiday cruise was merely a distraction from her toxic marriage, not a solution.

The holidays can shine a spotlight on problems which are bubbling up just under the surface. Busy day to day activities with a packed schedule can mask issues that are not being addressed. When one or both have long job commutes or kids with jammed agendas, this enables a couple to pretend that everything is okay. When interacting with each other (or attempting to avoid it) during holiday time off from work, spouses can feel empty inside.  When holidays are lonelier being married than they ever were when single, this is a warning that something needs to be done. Holidays can be the big wakeup call that you really do not want to be with your partner for the next set of holidays the following December.

After a few excruciating New Year’s Eves with her husband, a woman thought over their relationship.  Coming to the realization that she did not ever want to be alone with him, pushed her into ending her marriage. Although now divorced, her solo New Year’s Eves are something she anticipates rather than dreads.

The holidays are over and people are thinking about New Year resolutions or changes that they want to make in their lives. This introspection is one reason that divorce solicitors and mediators are extra busy in January and February. Feeling hollow and that the holidays were lacking something, can point that all is not well with an area in life. If things are going fine at work, with kids and so forth, then look at your marriage. Some spouses do not see that they are avoiding each other by participating in a whirlwind of holiday events.

The holidays may have highlighted some hidden issues, so see if your relationship can be salvaged. Talk to your spouse about your relationship to determine if they are also having questions or issues. Some do this when walking which makes it easier to open up without having to make eye contact. Others may choose to discuss their relationship at the pub or over a glass of wine. If things are not resolved, consider marital counselling.  If your spouse refuses to do so, then go alone.

The Use of vocational Expert in Your Divorce Cases

When it refers to divorce, many individuals still presume that finding a decent lawyer is something they should do now and then they’re everything settled.

In addition to “lawyer-up,” it is becoming extremely necessary for people going through a divorce to have a vocational expert working alongside their attorney as well. In a separation, there are more than just legal requirements, and it is stupid to keep remaining problems up to an appeal court, such as marital property. 

  • What do you mean by Vocational Expert?

In the fields of vocational rehabilitation, vocational and earning ability, missed revenue, substitution labor costs, and lost capacity/time in the performance of household facilities; a vocational professional is an expert. As a component of economic injury, they administer assessments for civil litigation and divorce cases purposes. They equate the knowledge to the actual job environment and both instantly and in the long run, determine its earning potential.

In separation, it can often still one of the most important investment goals to keep a vocational expert divorce.

Here are primary reasons why you will need a vocational evaluation divorce when  you facing a divorce :

  • A vocational expert is able to additional input income to your partner, which is significant on a number of levels.

Firstly, whether your spouse is seeking accommodation or support and believes that he or she is unable to meet his or her own needs, a vocational expert may help show that he or she is genuinely smart enough to make ends meet but prefers not to do so.

You’d probably accept this kind of business advice simply because it helps to achieve personal and professional development. Getting this information under your belt in divorce is also an important defensive technique. The vocational experience will help ensure that the settlement is determined on the basis of fair assumptions. 

  • Vocational experts provide evidence support.

If a partner, and the other spouse, is seeking to assert their own earning power, they need proof to support their statistics. The strongest evidence of earning potential is the testimony of a trained specialist. The expert’s assessment of the spouse’s qualifications, interests, abilities, expertise, and experience helps decide what his or her employment opportunities are and the expert’s analysis of the labor market assesses the probability that the spouse will be able to get a job and what they should expect to earn. Vocational experts typically have years of recorded analysis unique to geographical areas to help lawyers achieve reliable spousal support estimates.

All parties should call in a vocational expert in contested divorce cases to make sure that the received compensation is logical, equitable, and reliable. If you are expected to comply with your spouse’s requested vocational examination, it might also be in your best financial interest to have your own expert perform one to give the Court a viewpoint. 

  • Evaluation of employability or earning potential after a shift in life situations.

The assessments carried out by a trained specialist can record a change in your ability to make a living. For example, if you have a condition or disability that prohibits you from functioning like you once did or should a vocational expert will not only help you find the job that is possible for you to do, he/she could also offer an appraisal that accurately explains your difficulties to the Court so that spousal care can be better modified.

Alternatively, if you conclude that the conditions of your partner have improved in such a way that an alteration to your pension and/or child support payments is required; a competent advisor can affirm that view to the Court. 

  • Other use of vocational evaluation divorce in your divorce cases
  • Demonstrate the lack of schooling, work-related skills, and earning potential of the spouse
  • Identify the degree to which variables such as age, physical health, and mental health restrict employability.
  • Identify the burden of child care arising from the return to work of the parent.
  • Accept shifts in the conditions of the earning power and employability of the partner.
  • Provide another opinion on whether the partner remains strengths and experiences or if a professional review is requested by the Judge.

If you believe a vocational evaluation divorce could be of assistance to your situation, speak to your counsel. They should be able to supply you with a list of suggestions for tenure, and the council will then contact the vocational expert to apply for a letter of retention. Whether they can support you, it is necessary to get someone involved in your case as soon as possible.

Get in touch with Wendi’s Tips to explore how they can support this situation. Our vocational expert divorce analysis case makes a significant contribution to further study of the incomes of underemployed, marginalized, and disabled spouses.   www.oasinc.org/

 

 

Four Mistakes to Avoid When You Fight for Custody

With no doubt, divorce is believed to be one of the most stressful and overwhelming stages of some people’s lives, and rightly so. This is particularly so with those couples who cannot reach an understanding regarding child custody issues and thus cannot get divorce papers online. The stress these divorcees experience is usually linked to their many concerns about their role in their children’s lives, the time their children will spend with another co-parent, etc.

If two people, who have kids in common, cannot pull together to come up with a parenting plan amicably, they cannot use a divorce do it yourself kit. Truth be told, they have nothing to do but to have their case settled in court. If this happens to you, your children’s future will be put into the hands of a judge who will act with your children’s best interests in mind. And before he or she can draft a recommended custodial plan, each parent’s claims and available evidence must be assessed as is right and proper. Unfortunately, it happens that good moms and dads are classified as neglectful simply because they have made some of the following mistakes made by many parents who find themselves in the middle of a child custody battle:

Refusing to find common ground with another parent

No matter how poorly you think of your soon-to-be ex-spouse, you should avoid making the mistake of putting your negative feelings above your kids’ best interests. If you refuse to pull together with your former better half for the sake of your children, a judge may think that you cannot care less about their wellbeing and everything you have on your mind is a monumental desire for revenge. Instead, do your best to reach an understanding with the other parent so that you two can have constructive dialogues. If your emotions run high, think about getting a divorce lawyer who will not only help you with every divorce paper form but also take on all negotiations and give you a piece of advice about when it is better to take the middle path and when it is better to contend.

 Inappropriate social media behavior

Almost all people have social media accounts and you may have one, too. As soon as you fill out your first  Maine divorce paper form (either with onlinedivorcer.com/online-divorce-maine  or with lawyer’s assistance)  it is time to start watching your online behavior carefully. Since your profile is completely public, you cannot use it for venting your frustrations and badmouthing your soon-to-be ex-spouse.    All you post on the Internet is very likely to come to light in court. If your social media activity makes a judge form a bad opinion of your behavior or your influence on your kids, – photos of you drinking alcohol and doing drugs or posts vituperating against your former partner – you have very few chances to win the battle.

In a nutshell, you shouldn’t share anything provocative on the Internet, especially if you don’t want it to be brought up later on. However, if you have already posted something unpleasant, don’t try to get rid of it. Everything you post is considered the evidence and thus your decision to delete it may have legal consequences. Inform your lawyer about your online behavior so that he or she can take care of everything in time.

Making Wrongful Accusations when Questioned

When you meet a family reporter face-to-face and get questioned, make sure that you keep a distance. This person is not your friend and going into personals when it comes to your soon-to-be ex-spouse is a big mistake. Truth be told, this person is here to judge you, assess your personality, and determine whether or not you can parent your children effectively. So, don’t even try to hammer another parent for cutting the cheese in public, listening to horrible music, watching boring TV shows, etc. You should better watch your mouth.

When you are asked to come up with your concerns regarding your former partner, think about a compliment sandwich. So, start with something good about your partner, proceed with what you would like to change in your former beloved person, and then finish with a phrase that “everybody wants to believe that he or she will change for the better for the sake of your little ones”.

Lying about your addiction issues

Heavy drinking and drug use are pretty much the first issues that may be used against you. Of course, it is better if you don’t have any problems with alcohol and drugs; however, we all are far from perfect, and if you haven’t been clean for a while, at least don’t lie about it. Truth be told, a judge doesn’t care about your well-being so much as about how your abuse may affect your children’s well-being and your parenting skills.

If you have overcome your addiction, don’t neglect to inform everybody about your shady past in your very first statement. Provide the smallest details, such as when was the last time you used drugs or drank, what exactly you consumed, and why and what made you quit. It also makes sense to take a drug test. This is how you can protect yourself from any accusation thrown at you in court.

If you haven’t quit yet, then do your best to explain how much, when and where you drink or take drugs and who looks after your kids when you are high or wasted. Try to get addiction counseling or go to rehab. If you need treatment, likely, your matter will not be finalized until you are done.

Remember that nobody in court is concerned about your past. What matters most is that you are fine today and nothing can prevent you from parenting your kids as is right and proper. So, instead of lying about your problems, take your time to deal with them.

Bio: Author Bio Greg Semmit has years of experience working with different types of legal documents and writing about Family Law for educational purposes. Currently, he is working at OnlineDivorcer company, where he writing blog articles about divorce and divorce cases. In his free time, he likes roaming the streets of New York with his Olympus taking photos of the best spots in the city.

 

How to support your children though a divorce

The year 2020 has been a pretty brutal one for most people. Some people have been able to find some comfort in the bonds of family and friendship. For others, however, those bonds have been stretched to breaking point. If you’re in the latter group, here is some advice on how to support your children through a divorce.

Have a basic plan in place before you break the news

For a child, there are no positives to a divorce. This means that you need to focus on minimizing negatives. Ideally, you want to be able to show your child that, effectively, nothing is going to change for them. If that is not possible, then explain how you’ll minimize the negative impact of any changes.

It’s best if you and your partner have a complete plan ready before you break the news to your child. At the same time, however, you want to make sure that they hear the news from you, not social media. For practical purposes, therefore, it may be best just to outline your plan and then tell your child. Commit to keeping them in the loop as your plans develop.

Involve your child in discussions/mediation

Wrapping up a marriage almost always involves lengthy discussions, especially where children are involved. For many couples, mediation sessions are a practical and affordable way of keeping these discussions civil and productive. These are probably going to be where you and your partner iron out the practicalities of your split.

Some of those practicalities will have a massive impact on your child. This means that, whenever possible, they should have age-appropriate input into the discussions. They don’t have to know everything. In fact, it’s often better that they don’t. They certainly shouldn’t see their parents openly arguing. They do, however, need a reasonable degree of information and involvement.  

Try to maintain a consistent routine

Right now, COVID19 is probably causing more than enough disruption to their lives, especially when it comes to co-parenting through a pandemic. This means that it’s more important than ever to maintain stability as much as you can.

As a minimum, stick to regular mealtimes and nap/bedtimes. Resist any temptation to try to soften the blow by excess use of treats such as sweets and late nights.

If COVID19 means that you and your partner are stuck with each other’s company for longer than you’d like, keep it civil. You’re probably going to have disagreements. Recognize this in advance, own the fact and agree on a process for dealing with them privately. If you’re able to move out physically, have a plan in place to maintain contact, even if it’s only virtually.

Stay consistent with discipline

This is really a sub-point of keeping to a consistent routine. It is, however, important enough to deserve a mention on its own. Children handle divorce differently. In fact, the same child can handle divorce differently on different days. This is particularly true if they’re going through a lot of hormonal changes.

Recognize the difference between understanding their feelings and handing them control. Maintaining consistent rules and boundaries may be challenging in the short term. It will, however, help your child’s long-term recovery and personal growth.

Author Bio

K J Smith Solicitors are specialists in family law, experienced in all matters relating to divorce, civil partnerships, cohabitation disputes and collaborative law.

 

13 Reasons Why You’re Single And What To Do About It

When you are successful in your professional life because you’ve worked hard at it, it stands to reason that working hard at your love life in the same way will lead to the same result, right? So why aren’t your efforts yielding the desired outcomes? Why are you still single?

The following checklist will help you uncover 13 possible reasons and what to do about it. However, don’t let this list be a source of despair, because there is a solution!

  1. You don’t really believe there are great single men out there. Perhaps you think all men are just after 1 thing… Limiting belief systems are like sets of tinted glasses through which you view an altered reality, selectively seeking out and focusing on what you deem to be true to support your idea of reality.

  2. You are following the same destructive pattern by dating the same guy with a different face over and over again. We all know what the definition of insanity is, right? You need to start doing things differently if you want a different result.

  3. You are holding on to your past: The secret to closing the door on your past is letting go with love and forgiveness. If you don’t let go of your past it will destroy your future. But it’s not so easy, is it? (See point 1…)

  4. You are scared. You may have a fear of dating, of falling in love, being emotionally attached, trusting someone, losing someone close to you. You are not alone! Pretty much everyone seems to be affected by some degree of fear of social rejection, and this fear can be debilitating. It keeps you from taking action and tricks you into believing that you are better off staying in your comfort zone and striving to be happy there and not facing the fact that you are indeed miserable.

  5. You have Expectations! Oh NO! You have this perfect image of who you want to date and be in a relationship with and, try as you might not to, you expect your date to fit a certain type of pre-defined criteria. 100% chance of things going wrong – and you know it, but you still….

  6. Self-esteem issues anyone? If you are looking to enter into a healthy relationship it is best to start developing a healthy relationship with yourself first and foremost. ‘Like’ attracts ‘like’. We think we can hide low self-esteem but it shows up in so many unattractive ways. If you don’t think you’re worthy, how can someone else think so?

  7. Confidence. Closely related to the above, but worthy of its own point. Confidence is the key to dating success. If you aren’t confident about your worth, why would you expect someone else should take time out of their busy schedule to get to know you better?

  8. Boundaries! Boundaries are sexy and they tell men that you are valuable. Boundaries are evidence of high standards and values, indicate healthy self-esteem, and attract people who recognise what you live by and expect those close to you to live by. Even the most confident and successful career-woman can be tempted to loosen those boundaries to ‘keep a man’. If you are one of those, then you will always be someone else’s doormat.

  9. You don’t think you can be truly fulfilled without a partner, and it shows. There’s nothing attractive about that at best, and at worst it reeks of desperation. You should be living a full social life doing things you love doing with the friends and family you adore. Relationships flourish in the right social environment.

  10. You underappreciate the allure of your feminine energy. Many of us are out of touch with our dominant feminine energy and therefore lead unbalanced lives. Men are attracted to femininity and don’t respond well to masculine women in a romantic environment.

  11. You lack commitment in the area of love and relationships. You can still be living a full life, enjoy a successful career and be committed to finding a relationship. Yes you can indeed have it all! It shouldn’t drop off your ‘to do’ list in favour of chance. Where your energy goes, that’s where you go…or stay.

  12. You are dating from a mind-set of scarcity. You can’t imagine finding anyone, let alone opening your eyes to the abundance of choice that will become available to you when you turn that mind-set inside out and go forward with an ‘abundance mind-set’. I know it’s easier to sit back and wait for destiny to come knocking, but sorry, that’s not how it works. You therefore need to get out there and start creating choice in your love life.

  13. Singles are finding dating tough and telling each other just how tough it is. Well it’s tough because we are losing our social competence, especially when it comes to dating and relationships. Work on your interpersonal and face-to-face communication and conversation skills, work at being approachable – and you will be.

Perhaps you need some help?

The fact is that when it comes to your love life, the ‘work hard’ approach is clearly not enough, and if you don’t address the above, it often only leads to disappointment and frustration.

You need to stop and think about doing things differently! You know you need a new approach – and you need it now, because your intimate love relationship will affect pretty much every other area of your life. It will determine your happiness, fulfillment and overall quality of life more than any of your career success or achievements ever will.

So what are you to do if you are serious about having a loving and lasting relationship with someone amazing? Find yourself a reputable Love Coach to support and love you every step of the way. To your success in love!

Author of article is Bonita Grobbelaar. Biography:  Relationships and the way we embark on them have changed, and Bonita Grobbelaar believes in helping her clients to do the work from the inside out. Women who have succeeded in all areas of their life but love, have benefited from consulting with Bonita. She puts her clients back in the drivers’ seat of their lives, and helps them to map out a journey to their intended destination in love.

A believer that all women not only deserve, but are fundamentally entitled to a life they love, in the company of a solid partner through the good and the bad, Bonita specialises in guiding and supporting successful women around the globe towards healthy, lasting relationships.

Her industry experience spans over a decade, and during this time, Bonita has helped thousands of women to find and keep love.  Her own experiences saw Bonita living through ten years of negative dating and a failed marriage. Questioning the reasons for this led her to a journey of great self-discovery, where probing and testing brought her to the revelation of why all areas of her life, except love, were successful.

Today, Bonita is happily married and has two daughters. She experiences deep gratitude for a life she loves daily, and teaches her clients how to apply what she has learned, to help them find balance and relationship success in their own lives.    www.lovecoachbonita.com  

Join my NEXT FREE workshop: Unlock Lasting Love, Without Relying On Online Dating: bit.ly/UnlockLastingLove   Find time in my calendar that suits you best and let’s figure out what’s stopping you from finding the love you want and how to change that: lovecoachbonita.com/apply/