The Role of Forgiveness in Divorce
Divorce hurts, regardless of how you look at it. Your life is permanently changed, as is your children’s. You must face an infinite stream of challenges for a while. But you endure because you are aware that you must go on, and finally, you ask yourself, “How can I forgive and move forward?” The pain you are feeling due to your divorce is at the heart of this issue, and that’s why forgiving is crucial. Because divorce involves so many wounds, betrayals, and lost dreams, it’s also one of the most challenging difficulties to overcome while recovering after divorce. Therefore, let’s learn more about the role of forgiveness in divorce. We begin by explaining what forgiveness is.
What is forgiveness?
Forgiveness implies different things to every one of us. But generally speaking, it means consciously letting go of resentment and anger. The person or thing who injured or humiliated you could always be with you. But, you may loosen the grasp that behavior has on you by working on your forgiveness. It also helps release you from the grip of the person who hurt you. Occasionally, forgiving someone inspires compassion, understanding, and empathy for the person who injured you. However, forgiveness doesn’t mean forgetting or excusing the wrongdoing done to you. It also doesn’t always entail making amends with the person that hurt you. Instead, forgiveness gives a particular type of tranquility by allowing you to focus on yourself and continue your life.
What is the role of forgiveness in divorce?
Forgiving can be challenging, depending on the circumstances and problems at hand. However, while going through an extremely tough and traumatic event, forgiving could be one of the most significant and probably most powerful feelings you could have. To help you understand what it could mean to forgive your ex-spouse, here are some benefits of forgiveness in divorce:
Forgiveness teaches you to set healthy boundaries
By forgiving, we set healthy boundaries and avoid saying or implying that what was done to us was okay. The best approach to ensure that you are never hurt by someone again is not to hold a grudge. Being upfront about what you are and are not prepared to do as you move forward is a stronger, better mindset.
You can regain control over your life by forgiving
There are several approaches to forgiving someone during a divorce. For many individuals, some of these approaches will be more effective than others. However, forgiving others may be uplifting during a divorce, regardless of the method. Why? Because many believe they lose control of their life during and after a divorce. In truth, they still control their feelings and thoughts over the whole process. They just need to realize these facts, and forgiveness can help. The ability to consciously let go and move on can help a person’s future, and this new chapter in their life be free from any influence from past hurts or even the ex-spouse themself. As a result, the role of forgiveness in divorce is to help you regain control over your life.
Forgiveness can change your perspective
When we can accept other people as they are and give up on trying to change them, it frequently changes how we relate to them, what we demand from them, and how much we need to be able to forgive them. If there is no expectation that they are anything other than who they truly are, having a realistic perspective of another person will help reduce anger and resentment toward them. You might even realize that there is nothing to forgive and that the truth was lying in front of you all this time. You just needed to see it.
Forgiving will keep you healthy
During a divorce, your mental and physical health suffers. You are stressed, anxious, can’t sleep, can’t eat, and feel like you are falling apart bit by bit. According to research, when we practice forgiveness, we lessen these intense emotions, which lowers our heart rate, blood pressure, and general stress levels. At the same time, it reduces our level of exhaustion, tension, and inner conflict. Perhaps it even improves our ability to sleep at night. As the saying goes: “ Never go to bed angry!” Therefore, set your priorities and practice forgiveness, and you will have a healthy mind and body to get you through your most difficult times.
Forgiveness in divorce will help your children
Nobody gains from spending time with someone resentful and hostile toward others, especially if it’s someone they care about. Therefore, you may set a positive example for your kids by trying to refrain from talking negatively about or toward your ex-spouse. It’s a simple technique to reduce their stress and make it easier for them to benefit from their interactions with both parents. As a result, you will have happier kids wanting to spend more time with you.
Forgiveness gives you closure
Deciding to let go of your hatred and bitterness against your ex-spouse is similar to wrapping your divorce in pretty packing paper. You may peacefully shut that door by stating that you can forget the mistakes made in your previous relationship. Again, you won’t experience total forgiveness instantly. But if you work on it daily, you’ll get there sooner than expected.
Forgiveness will help you avoid a messy divorce
If you can forgive your ex-spouse, reaching an agreement with them will be much easier. And that can be vital when you want a fast and clean divorce that will leave as few marks as possible. On the other hand, the more you argue and disagree with your former partner, the messier your divorce might become. So what do you choose? The decision is entirely up to you!
Closing thoughts
While forgiveness doesn’t require forgetting, it does give you a chance to be free. In truth, forgiveness is one of the most valuable gifts you can offer yourself during the divorce process. It won’t always be simple, just like everything else, but you’ll find it gratifying. So never overlook the importance of forgiveness in divorce. Your future life depends on it!
Author bio: Lisa Perry is a divorce survivor and single mom navigating the often-turbulent journey of post-divorce life. Lisa is writing and working with Bright Futures Treatment Center experts to help others find their light at the end of the tunnel.
Meta: Do you know the role of forgiveness in divorce? If not, learn from this article the great benefits forgiveness can bring.
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The Biggest Benefits of Decluttering After Divorce
Dealing with a divorce might be one of the most challenging things you have ever faced. It isn’t going to be easy, but it’s one of those times and opportunities life gives you to come back stronger than ever before and to blossom into your newly discovered self. Nevertheless, don’t forget that allowing yourself to grieve is an integral part of healing. But, the crucial moment is the beginning of a new chapter in your life. This is why decluttering after divorce has numerous benefits. Therefore, in this article, globalguidetodivorce.com will share its numerous benefits to your healing journey.
Why decluttering after divorce is essential
Since dealing with a divorce is usually overwhelming and tiring, you might not feel capable of cleaning and decluttering your home and choose to postpone it. Nevertheless, even if it is painful, it needs to be done – like ripping off a bandage. If you choose to postpone it, it might hurt more after some time to stir up your feelings by going through the items that remind you of your former spouse. Therefore, decluttering as soon as possible is an essential part of the road to recovery after divorce. So, please don’t put it off; gather the strength to do it, and let the healing process begin.
Decluttering your home after a divorce can reduce stress and anxiety
There is nothing better than clearing your home to clear out your mind. Many feng shui experts state that individuals who don’t keep unnecessary things in their homes are more relaxed and less likely to feel stress and anxiety. Creating more space lets you breathe – is a sentence used quite often.
Many individuals opt for minimalistic decorations precisely for this reason. They don’t give out the feeling of a cluttered space that holds no room for anything else, and that can be suffocating when you are going through a sensitive period in your life. Besides, decluttering after divorce will ensure that you take the first step to let go of the past. And once you do, there will be no more room for stress or anxiety. You will see how liberating it can feel to let go. Therefore, out with the old and in with the new.
Caption: Decluttering after divorce means creating space for new and positive things in your life. The sooner you start decluttering, the sooner you start healing.
How to declutter
While you may not be eager to eliminate the memories that were a part of your life for so long, it is crucial for moving on. Throwing away anything that isn’t necessary or useful to you on your healing journey is a move for the bold, but it is fine if you are not ready for this step. There are many more alternatives. Go easy on yourself. It is entirely normal to still feel connected to specific items that remind you of pleasant times. However, if they trigger painful memories, it might be a good idea to hide them for a while. For example, preparing your items for storage is an excellent step forward. You can get your items ready to be taken away, and you won’t have to look at them and be reminded of your past life. Once you are healed, you may feel differently about them and do the things you didn’t have the strength to do before.
Redecorating can bring a sense of a fresh new start
Getting creative when it comes to redecorating and creating a new space in your life can be incredibly healing. According to some psychology experts, eliminating large pieces of furniture can even be therapeutic. It would be an excellent idea to redecorate your home entirely according to your taste. However, this isn’t always practical since divorces can get pretty expensive, and you may not have the necessary funds to do so. Nevertheless, changing even the smallest of details means that you are taking positive action in life. Getting something new that is just for you can influence you to think positively. Maybe now you can buy that thing you always wanted but knew your spouse would hate.
Caption: Redecorating your entire home has numerous positive effects on your nervous system that will help you get through a tough time.
Making the big change
The final cause of decluttering and redecorating is to make things feel different and fresh. This might mean you will have to eliminate everything from your past life. It’s not unusual for people to move to another state after divorce. But before you start a new chapter, ensure you are free from any attachment to things or people. Letting go of the things you were once attached to is essential to healing your broken heart, especially if you find that they often make you sad or lonely. Please do it for your future self, who will be happy and full of life after you heal.
Caption: It’s not unusual for many people to decide to move after a divorce. A new city gives numerous opportunities for a fresh start.
Final words
Letting go of the past is usually painful and awakens many negative feelings like anger, sadness, anxiety, or even depression. However challenging it may look now, try to think about what lies ahead. Once you get through this, you will experience change and growth. There is much wisdom in pain, so allow yourself to grieve. After your tears dry, it’s time to take action. After reading this article, you have seen the many benefits of decluttering after divorce. So, get some boxes and start making space for the good things life will inevitably bring your way.
Meta Description: If you are having difficulties moving on after a divorce, you may want to see the biggest benefits of decluttering after divorce.
Author’s bio: Angie Johnson is a writer who takes a keen interest in psychology and whose articles are primarily dedicated to self-help topics. She is happily divorced and lives in Massachusetts with her daughter Julie and their golden retriever Sparky.
Why Owning a Pet is Beneficial for You and Your Family
The majority of us have great experiences growing up with pets in our homes. They are usually our very first closest friends, and they help us get through some of the most difficult periods in our lives. However, pets are much more than just furry friends. Owning animals can genuinely improve both mental and physical health, as well as the development of young children who live with cats, dogs, and other family pets.
Therefore, think twice before rejecting your child’s request for a cute dog or kitten the next time they make the request. You could be pleasantly surprised by the advantages of keeping a pet for your kids. Here are some of the reasons why you should consider:
- More sympathy, care, and respect for others
According to research, kids who often engage with pets have an edge when forming connections with other people. Even for adults, socializing may be difficult, so you can only imagine how frightening it can be at times for kids. Pets are an excellent way to practice developing relationships since they don’t judge your child whether they forget to be polite or are having a bad day. But most importantly, they want accountability and care. As they look out for their pets, children will grow more sensitive to the needs of others.
There’s no denying that kids and animals can connect on a unique level—we’ve all read books and watched movies about kids and dogs that have unbreakable relationships. Giving your kids responsibility for the care of your pet will strengthen this attachment and teach them valuable lessons. Simple duties like feeding the dog in the morning or cleaning the cat’s litter box can be included. When your children finish up their pet chores, compliment them and give them greater responsibility if they show signs of maturity.
- Better mental and physical well-being
The benefits of having a household pet are not just limited to cats or dogs; experts have also found relaxing effects from having fish and other small animals at home. Both kids and adults do better emotionally and physically when they have a pet.
- The happy hormones that promote positive feelings like pleasure, happiness, and even love, can be increased by playing with pets.
- Owners of pets have lower triglyceride and cholesterol levels than non-pet owners, which are risk factors for heart disease.
- When under extreme stress, people who own pets have lower blood pressure than those who do not.
- A close companion for your child
Every week, parents spend many hours attempting to keep their kids happy and engaged. Simple daily activities for your child, like petting the household cat or taking the dog for a walk, can be enjoyable and calming. Additionally, playing with pets is a wonderful method for your kid to develop relationships with these beloved members of your family.
Friendship issues can arise in children of any age. While a 15-year-old might be concerned about rifts splitting their buddy group apart, a 5-year-old might be worried about making friends at school. But despite all the difficulties we face in our interactions as children and adults, our pets remain our loyal, loving companions.
- Opportunities to learn
The best pets are those that have been taught; they can follow simple instructions, act appropriately in public, and are safe with other animals and people. With the proper equipment and some parental assistance, the majority of children are quite competent in training friendly, non-aggressive animals. Even training a new dog or cat may be a family effort that strengthens your bonds.
Your children will develop their patience and consistency by training a new pet. They’ll develop healthy habits and learn the advantages of exerting themselves to accomplish a task.
- A bond that will last forever
Owning a pet is like expanding your family by one. They are always around you and are likely to accompany you on camping trips, family reunions, and other significant gatherings. They will appear in family portraits and be the center of many great memories. In addition, your children’s bond with your pets may be their first exposure to loving and caring for someone who is more innocent than themselves. They won’t ever forget those precious memories.
Pets can be a wonderful addition to any household and have a lot to give. To find the ideal pet for your family, it is essential to do as much research and explore the market as you can. Although getting a pet requires a substantial commitment, the benefits for your family make the effort worthwhile.
Author is Michael Morris of 6XD Media
Changing Careers Mid-Life
Ever think about changing your career after age 45? Feel stuck or unfulfilled? Want to join this trend? If so – you are in good company. CBS Evening News with Norah O’Donnell said that “60% of American workers change careers after 45.” Today individuals are less likely to spend decades in the same job.
What can cause people to jump ship from an established career and try something new? Life changes such as divorce is one reason. People may be getting back into the job market when their marriage dissolves. This happened to me. I opened up a medical practice in my twenties and lost it in my divorce in my forties. I was out of a job which then propelled me to pursue a different track.
Another cause is Empty Nest. The chicks have flown the nest. You have time for yourself and the energy to discover what work seems interesting. One is forced to deal with change when a place of employment folds. Sometimes there is not much notice.
A way to get started in finding a new career option is to follow your passion. What is it that gives purpose and meaning to your life? Could that become a career? A friend is a wonderful artist. Her passion is saving animals. She put this dream into action after her divorce. She set up a small non-profit sanctuary for farm animals. Ones that are retired, neglected or might be killed. Then she began to paint these new residents. What came as a surprise was how well these paintings of sheep, cows and so forth, sold. She branched out in to having cards and prints made of her pictures. The bonus is that it helps fund the sanctuary.
Another example is my son’s kindergarten teacher. Her passion has always been flowers. Mid-life, Miss Marla left teaching and opened up her own florist shop. Years later she was so happy to make a prom corsage for my son’s girlfriend. Let your passion be your guiding star.
It can be helpful to have a firm idea of what you will be doing after leaving current job. My friend’s husband is in his early sixties. He will be retiring from an intensive engineering position in a few years. His passion is riding his dirt bike and motorcycle. He already has a job lined up at a store, selling parts for motorcycles and dirt bikes. He is looking forward to this career change.
Do an assessment. What skills do you currently have that could be utilized in your new career? Do some research. Will you need to get more training? Can you update your knowledge by taking online courses? Look at your finances. Do you have enough to fund more education if this is needed? Going to part-time is one way to still bring in income, while pursuing other job options.
Internships are a great method to gain practical skills for working in a different field. Although they might be unpaid, the knowledge learned is invaluable. It may be possible to volunteer when contemplating starting over again. A veterinarian student volunteered in an animal clinic. Although her motive was to gain experience, volunteering helped Chloe realize this was not the career change which best suited her. Her passion is animals and becoming a vet seemed to be the logical choice. Chloe was traumatized when animals were in pain or had to be euthanized. Before plunking a huge amount of cash down for a new path, ensure it is the best fit for you.
Remove obstacles. What is holding you back? Is it others telling you what you want to do will not work or are pressuring you to stay in a high paying job which you loathe? This is your life and you decide how to live it.
Is fear of failure holding you back? If you let an opportunity pass by (new career) you will be talking about it on your deathbed. As a nurse, I have been the recipient of these type of conversations. When feeling confused or pulled indifferent direction, consider seeing a professional, such as a career coach. They can look at your situation realistically and help you formulate strategies to achieve your career goal.
When A Relationship Ends Abruptly – What To Do
One can go into full-blown shock when the other person abruptly ends your relationship. Even if there were a few hints something was amiss, it is still a shock. Hard to believe this is happening. As far as the other person is concerned, there is not much you can do. If they made up their mind to break it off, it is done.
Harder when the decision was made and you were not notified. You see then at work, a social event, their musical gig, whatever and find out at the same time as everyone else. They may take great pains to ignore you. Maybe are dramatic and turn their back if you get nearby. Not cool when done publicly at a gathering.
Of course, you would like an explanation and not be playing guessing games in your head. This may never happen. It is difficult when there are loose threads. In both cases – whether you got an explanation or were ghosted – closure is needed. Easier to move on when there is a clear-cut ending in your mind.
Accept what happened is final. Wishing for a reunion keeps you attached to them and is it not going to happen. You are wasting time and energy on this fantasy. This mental connection prevents one from moving on.
The big thing about an abrupt ending is not having closure. Since there is no communication, you cannot be sure if it was something you did or if got dropped for a new love interest. One is left hanging. If someone is upset that should be discussed. If a boundary was crossed into a no-go area, then at least you would understand why there is an ending. It is childish for them to do silence.
Emotionally getting through this situation
Spend a day really feeling your grief. Cry, wail, scream, curse or whatever else you feel needs expressing. You are experiencing a loss, a death of a relationship. Concentrate on dealing with it being over. Later as time moves on, you can appreciate the fun times. You got some life lessons from this episode.
Rally your support system around you. Call or go out with friends. Talk it out with them. Have some fun. Try a new café.
Get out in nature. Take walks in leafy areas. Exercise releases pent up energy and anxiety. One feels better after a run when the endorphins are increased. Getting a physical work out calms nerves and helps one be able to deal with this situation.
What to do or not do
Do not contact them no matter how tempting it is to text or call. This is giving them power to reject you again.
If they call, do not answer it. Go ahead and listen to their message later, if you want. If a text is sent, do not respond. If you cannot resist, then say “I accept that you ended our relationship. I am moving on now.”
They may beg for a second chance and promise to change. That would be short-lived and the disrespect would creep back in again. If they were really into you, this would not have happened in the first place.
There is a void – empty space inside of you from their departure. Fill it up. When one removes a dead tree, they do not leave a big hole. It is filled in with a plant or something else. Plant something else inside of you. Take up a new activity. Join a MeetUp.com group and expand your social network.
Getting into a new environment can help. You are not running into them or dealing with as many triggers. Travel to an enticing destination on your bucket list. The point is not to allow them to dwell in your head.
Ending a relationship abruptly is disrespectful and not valuing you. Do you really want a relationship where you are not cherished and it is all about them? No!! You deserve much more. Move on to someone who will appreciate you.
Reviving A Long-Term Relationship
Tips on how to add sparkle to a long-term relationship and avoid a divorce. Before calling it quits, explore different ways to bring the relationship back to life. Does your marriage feel like a prison sentence? Boredom and being in a rut can make a marriage seem dull and lifeless. Hints on how to revive your marriage.
Several couples took up golf together with the added bonus of improving their game in foreign locales. See if you can build upon a common interest – plus it gives you both something to talk about. Some couples have bought a holiday home and renovating it reignited the spark in their marriages.
Go out to a neutral place, such as a café and have a respectful conversation about your feelings. Use “I” statements, “I feel…” without blame or accusations. Intently listen to his responses and what he feels could be changed in your marriage.
S00metimes people rely too much on their spouse for companionship and to meet their social needs. The happiest couples I know each have some individual pursuits and interests outside of their relationships. Consider widening your social network through such groups as MeetUp.com to enrich your life and to see if this improves your marriage.
Take a vacation together to provide time to talk in a pleasant atmosphere. It may be easier to have structured group time, such as being on a tour or cruise. Then there is a balance between interacting with others and having alone time. Getting away from your routines and environment, plus having a lot to talk about can realign a relationship.
If you have been drifting apart and pass each other as two ships in the night – plan for couple time. Each week, alternate who selects the agenda for a night out. What fun trying new restaurants, attending concerts and seeing films. Some celebrities have claimed they split up due to lack of time together.
Put yourselves in each other’s shoes to see a new perspective to the other’s point of view. Is there validity to their complaints? Some couples have come up with this compromise – each stopping an annoying habit. One husband habitually threw his towel and clothes on the floor. The wife’s cosmetics and lotions covered the bathroom counter. Each spouse ceased the aggravating behavior and now have been married for over two decades.
Sometimes a partner has to leave for a period of time to really think things through. They may choose a work sabbatical or live in a distant land to determine if they should stay or divorce. Some have to get out of their place to gain clarity for their situation.
You may want to get legal advice and have a trial separation handled by an attorney. This formal separation may become the first step to a divorce.
If there is abuse – get out of the situation quickly. A domestic violence shelter can advise one how to extricate herself in the best way from an abusive spouse.
Consider marital counselling with your spouse. It can show you how to communicate more effectively which is important both in marriage or divorce. The Retrouvaille Program has weekend retreats for couples to get their marriages back on track. If divorce is imminent, then counselling helps a couple to have an easier time parting ways.
Divorce does not have to be the end of a relationship, but rather a change in it.
Guide for Moving to a New State After a Divorce
After a divorce, you may be looking to turn a new leaf and start afresh in a completely different location. But before you pin a map to the wall and throw a dart at it to find your new spot, there are a few things – and people – you need to take into consideration. So let’s go over four instances where planning ahead will help you make the right decision:
If You’re Looking for a New Place to Live
Costs of living vary greatly from state to state and even from city to city, so take that into consideration before you settle on a place to live and consider what you’ll be able to afford, taking into account spousal support, child custody, and other expenses. And before you even look at your options, if you and your ex-spouse have children together, discuss how you’ll share custody once you two live further apart, and make sure you have your co-parent’s consent in writing before you take off to a different state. Look at the available amenities in the neighborhoods you are considering moving into, and make sure they are safe and suitable for your children.
If You’re Ready to Relocate
Before you book your movers to take you to your new home, make sure your divorce is completely finalized and take inventory of what you have, what you plan on taking with you, and what you want to get rid of. When you have shared assets with your ex-spouse, it’s best to discuss together how you’re planning on dividing those and come to an amicable agreement. Also, remember that if you’re the one moving away, it will cost you less money to transport fewer items across states than a complete household move would. Once you’ve decided on what you’re keeping, look for movers in your area and get at least three quotes in writing before choosing a company. And don’t forget to read reviews online to avoid scam artists and unreliable people.
If You’re Starting a Business
If you’re planning on launching a business after you relocate, make sure you check the legal requirements for business ownership in your new state in order to stay compliant and avoid penalties. Create a plan describing your company, detail how you’re planning on selling your products or services, explain how your business will be structured, include what funding you’ll need to get your startup off the ground, and come up with some financial projections to attract possible investors. And if you’re looking to find partners for your new venture, think about joining the local chamber of commerce, or renting a coworking space where you’ll get to mingle with other solopreneurs and make new friends in your new city.
If You Need to Find a New Doctor
Relocating to a different state means you’ll need to find new doctors, such as a dentist and a general practitioner, to help you manage your health and to treat you in case of illness or injury. If you haven’t found your bearings in your new place yet, you can find an online doctor and get an appointment for a remote consultation. This is an easy, safe, convenient, and private way to seek treatment if you’re not feeling well, or if you’re just in need of a checkup. You’ll be able to book a same-day appointment from anywhere, and if you need medication, your prescription will be sent to the pharmacy of your choice for added convenience.
Making a complete life change after a divorce by relocating to a different state may help you in your emotional recovery. But before you embark on your next adventure, make sure you do your research. And don’t leave any loose ends that could cause you and your ex-spouse potential issues later.
Looking for advice on dating, relationships, or divorce? At globalguidetodivorce.com, you’ll find tips on co-parenting, legal issues, and much, much more.
Author is Suzie Wilson ⎸info@happierhome.net ⎸Happier Home
Spring and Summer Safety: Tips to Protect Your Kids
As parents, we instinctively want to shield our kids from danger. Sometimes, however, the outdoors can present hazards we might not even dream of, especially during the warmer months of the year. Courtesy of Jack Jack the Cat, we share some tips for ensuring your children are protected.
Outdoor Inspection
Even if you took precautions last fall, it may be time to tidy up once spring arrives, as winter can be hard on a home’s exterior. Take a walk around your property, looking carefully for potential concerns. Trim trees and shrubs to prevent growth from encroaching on your home, and cut them back at least two feet to keep pests from getting too cozy or to eliminate any hazards to your children.
You should also inspect the fence that surrounds your property, if you have one. Make sure there are no areas that need to be replaced or repaired. Strong fences are especially important if you live in a high traffic area or a neighborhood with a low walk score. In other words, if foot traffic is low because the area doesn’t have many shops within walking distance, then you are likely to experience more auto traffic. Then, a good fence is important for your kids’ and your home’s safety.
Also, sometimes when we live with things, we don’t think of them in terms of posing dangers. Eliminate sources of standing water such as toys left in the yard or flipped open garbage bin lids, as they also provide opportunities for mosquitoes and other pests to thrive.
Pool Safety
Pools are an obvious source of potential danger. If you have a pool, the Red Cross recommends having your children take swimming lessons. It’s vital to keep ladders and steps secure to prevent children from falling into the water, and remove ladders when the pool is not in use. Install protective barriers and use a safety cover. Also keep the water clean and ensure the chemicals are at the right levels.
Secure Equipment
Outdoor equipment can be inviting to curious children. Ensure items such as grills, lawn care equipment and electrical appliances are secured properly. Pick up and properly stow sharp objects and tools. Also lock storage sheds, garages and barns, and install childproof locks on gates.
Sun Exposure
Just like adults, kids need some sunshine to help their bodies produce vitamin D. However, too much can damage your youngster’s skin. Raising Children explains it’s particularly important to keep toddlers and babies safe from damaging ultraviolet rays. Dress your child appropriately, using a hat to protect your child’s head from the sun’s rays. Infants do best in soft hats that allow babies to relax comfortably. Choose one with a chinstrap or tie, and if your little one objects, keep trying until she or he accepts it as part of the normal routine.
Also, prolonged exposure to sunshine puts your child at risk for future cataracts. Sunglasses can help guard against damage to your child’s eyes; opt for close-fitting, wraparound glasses for the best protection.
Riding Toys
A big part of warm weather fun is getting on a tricycle, skateboard or bike. If your youngster has riding toys that come out as soon as temperatures rise, ensure the proper safety equipment is at hand. Some experts recommend helmets when riding on toys, but note helmets should be removed for playground or swing set play as they pose choking hazards.
When using strollers, use the safety straps provided by the stroller manufacturer, and if your baby is too little to sit up on her own, steer clear of hauling her in wagons with low sides. If your kids are old enough for bicycling on streets, Healthline notes you should teach them the rules of the road, such as riding the same direction as traffic, obeying traffic signals, using hand signals, watching for other vehicles and not riding on sidewalks.
Preparations Mean Safety
Keeping your child safe is one of your first priorities. Warm months present special hazards, but with proper preparations you can prevent tragedy. Working parents often need support during the summer, like trading play dates with neighbors or having a teenager watch the kids while you work. It’s important that you share these tips with anyone who might be watching your child so that everyone involved provides your child with a safe environment through carefully thought-out precautions.
If you’re looking for some summer reading options, check out Jack Jack the Cat. Whether Jack Jack is at home or exploring the jungle, he is sure to find himself in the middle of an adventure. Check our website for more information about Jack Jack and his weekly adventures for plenty of summertime fun.
Tips For Making A Long-Distance Dating Relationship Work
Long-distance dating relationships can be challenging. Easier to keep the passion high when you can call up your partner and say “Hey, come right over.” Long-distance requires planning, not spontaneity. Many people who have been through these types of relationships, say it was worth the separation. Being sure of each other’s commitment got them through this period.
Long-distance take extra effort to keep them alive. One person might be doing more in the reaching out and this can become frustrating. Logistics have to be factored in, who is travelling and who is not. It is one thing when in the same locale, to decide who pays. Quite another when getting together requires serious money. An example is Harry, who moved and had a six-year long-distance relationship. He resented paying 100% of transportation costs for them both. No give and take financially. Eventually Harry thought about how in other areas of their relationship he was his doing most of the work. Although relationships are rarely 50-50, there has to be somewhat of a balance.
People in long-distance relationships mention how getting together in short bursts is more like being in Disneyland. Fantasy vs reality. It is like being on a holiday, doing fun activities. While this may be fine for some, others want a relationship on a deeper level.
People brought up that they missed or ignored red flags in a long-distance relationship. They concentrated on having fun instead. They dealt with the cracks when these could no longer be ignored. A local relationship could have been patched up or ended sooner. Nip problems in the bud before they get huge. Your partner is not a mind reader, so bring them up.
The Pros
Distance allows commitment to be gradual. One is more conscious of it and makes a choice instead of falling into it. You decide to be a couple and less likely to take the other person for granted. When dating in town, one can fall into a pattern. On Friday night we do this, on Sunday we go out for brunch. When living in different locales, one is not in a predictable schedule or rut.
Being apart forces one to build a stable foundation. The relationship may be moving at a slower pace. One man said there are less triggers to get to him in his long-distance relationship as are in past local ones. He also said that they met on different levels before initiating physical intimacy. One was getting to know each other spiritually. They did not jump into bed right away, as what happens when dating locally. He feels they really got to know each other first before having sex.
Tips for making it work
Communication is imperative. Be conscious of word choice. Are they expressing your intention and exact emotion? Easier to give a more ambiguous communication when not done in person. Emails and texting can seem blunt without vocal quality.
Be aware of your own emotions
Other emotions can come through subconsciously with communication such as hostility or resentment. If you are angry, disappointed, then express them using “I” statements. “I feel hurt when you take several days to answer a text.” Be direct and not sarcastic.
Keep in touch, even if a quick text “Thinking of you. Hope your day is great.”
If becoming serious, discuss where to live together. A US man with a girlfriend in Norway, advises finding neutral territory to settle. They are looking for a city which fits both of their needs. Others may want to move to a place where one of them lives, especially if that person has children. Some couples live in different loculations indefinitely and spend time blocks together. One couple does six weeks together and six weeks apart. This is working fine. Discuss if there is a time table for when living together. Or, if commuting is desirable for you both.
Flexibility is a plus in a long-distance relationship
Here is an example with a happy ending. Matthew and Elizabeth became a couple when they attended university. Matthew went on to law school and Elizabeth studied to be an ophthalmologist in different cities. She had internships in various places during the summer months when Matthew did not have law school. He stayed with her during that time for three years. Elizabeth managed to get one in Matthew’s hometown. They got together at other times during the year. The long-distance part of their relationship for lasted three years. They are blissfully married with two children. When a couple is committed to make it work, it can.
Celebrating Your Divorce Anniversary
Do you celebrate your divorce anniversary? Is it a day you mourn or instead viewed as Independence Day? Easy to have mixed emotions.
We do hear about extravagant parties to small gatherings of friends marking the occasion when a divorce is finalized. Some hire limousines to whisk their group away to the pubs. No drunk drivers. There are paper plates, napkins and decorations to spice up the divorce party’s atmosphere. My friends took me out for lattes that first month after the divorce decree was issued.
What about the anniversaries? For the first few years my two sons gave me flowers and chocolate on that date. We went out for lattes or did something else special.
One January a few years post-divorce, my sons and I went to Disneyland. I was not thinking about my divorce. The woman at the check-in desk asked if we were celebrating any occasion. I told her “No.” When we got up to our room, my younger son asked why I had lied. “Lied?”
He explained, “Yes, you told that lady we weren’t celebrating anything. This is the week of your divorce anniversary!” I said “Well, I’ll go back down and tell her.” My older son jumped up and accompanied me to the lobby. I felt a bit strange informing that clerk about it. Her face froze. My son quickly intervened. “We are so happy about this occasion so we are celebrating.” She laughed and was quite relieved. We were handed three large pins saying “I’m celebrating” written across them.
I cannot remember laughing so hard for two days straight. When strangers came up and asked what we were celebrating, we informed them. They laughed at the unexpected answer. The boys were giggly too. This was one of our best holidays.
My sons went to college and moved into their own places. This past January, my younger son was at home. “Congratulations Mum” he said. It dawned on me it was my divorce anniversary. We collected his brother and went out for lattes.
Your divorce may have been tragic, especially if dumped for someone else. A day you do not want to be reminded of ever again. You have the right to ignore it. Or perhaps use it to reflect where you were and how far you have come. You moved forward. You got past a traumatic event. Perhaps made some big changes in your life for the better.
You have the option of reframing it from an ending to becoming a new tradition. It can be your meet up with friends day each year. You plan fun activities and enjoy their camaraderie. I think about how less stressful my life is by not being in a toxic marriage.
A consideration is the children. They may feel torn between loyalties or are having a rough time with their parents not being together. A celebration would not be appropriate. In my case, for years afterwards, the boys periodically asked “What took you so long to divorce?” They were flowers which bloomed post-divorce.
When this date is about to roll around, perhaps get out of town. Avoid old triggers which remind you of your relationship or its end. Go on holiday abroad or explore new sights closer to home. Do what feels right to you. Ignore it or celebrate. Your call.
Continuing Self-Care Trends in the New Normal
Signs of the new normal are emerging as newly-vaccinated Americans venture out of their homes, and it’s not the raucous “Roaring 20s” everyone predicted. Rather than racing to return to normal, Time magazine notes that people are holding onto the habits and routines they built during 2020-21. That’s not to say we aren’t eager to see old friends and hug relatives. However, people are rethinking what it means to look and feel their best in a post-pandemic world. Wendi’s Tips shares four trends shaping the way we present ourselves.
Comfort Over Fashion
Staying home more in the past meant the privilege of working in pajamas and slippers. Now, people are questioning why “real clothes” have to be so uncomfortable and redefining the meaning of professional attire.
For fashion, that means more athleisure and dressed-up loungewear. Think joggers in trendy prints and durable leggings that are just at home in the grocery store as they are in the gym. Office dress codes are relaxing, too, with workers opting for pared-down professional wardrobes composed of comfortable basics. If you’re dreading the day you have to give up your “work sweatpants,” tap into comfort-first workwear trends like loose-fitting trousers and slacks for your return to the office.
Back-to-Basics Skincare
Women are abandoning heavy makeup as they shift beauty spending to skincare. If you’re one of the many people affected by maskne, you’ve probably started paying more attention to skincare during the pandemic yourself.
There’s a dizzying array of skincare products out there. Where do you start if all you’ve ever used is moisturizer and SPF? There’s no one-size-fits-all answer to skincare because everyone’s skin is different. However, if you’re new to skincare regimens, Elle magazine lists a few kits designed for your skin type, which is a great place to start. When you want to take your look up a notch, opt for a tinted moisturizer or a glow kit instead of foundation. These lightweight alternatives are less likely to clog pores. This is also the perfect time to experiment with fun eye makeup looks.
Returning to Our Roots
Many people looked forward to their first salon haircut during the new normal. But while some people are going bold with their new look, others are embracing their roots by growing out their hair, keeping their grays, and letting their natural curls shine. In fact, L’OFFICIEL notes that the past year has seen a surge in products designed to enhance hair health. This includes shampoos and conditioners designed for your hair type, whether you want to clarify, hydrate, repair, thicken, define, or grow.
If you do go for a dramatic new look, donate your tresses to a good cause. Locks of Love, Children with Hair Loss, and Wigs for Kids are among the leading organizations that accept hair donations.
Embracing New Ventures
Feeling your best in 2022 isn’t just about the way you look. The toll that the pandemic took on so many lives seems to have intensified interest in not just self-care but nursing itself. Improving oneself may include career goals, particularly going back to school to get a degree in business. Whether it’s taking courses online or in person, many programs are set to maximize convenience and thoroughness, and some are extremely timely. Going this route provides you with the latest information and technology, preparing you to advance your career or take it another direction.
You may also be looking at changing jobs or starting a new business. If it’s the latter, be sure to check off a few essential boxes right away. This includes getting a business plan together, creating a home office if you plan to work from home, and lining up all the legal requirements. It’s important to determine what type of business you plan to operate by choosing which type to form as, whether it’s a self-proprietorship, a partnership, or an LLC. Fortunately, you can outsource the process with the help of an online formation service, which is quick and affordable.
People are also asking how they can maintain healthy habits now that responsibilities have returned to normal. Many of us have spent more time working on ourselves, getting active, appreciating nature, and utilizing naturopathic medicine and massage therapies during the pandemic, and we may be reluctant to relinquish that self-care time.
For the most part, schedules have shifted to what they used to be, but it’s still possible to make time for wellness. The key is scheduling it. Build self-care, fitness, and other healthy routines into your schedule the same way you would a business meeting to ensure wellness is given the priority it deserves. A huge part of this is embracing relationship changes as well, so identify the toxic people or situations in your life and call on dating coach Wendi Schuller to help you navigate your options.
Life looks much different now after the pandemic — and that’s not necessarily a bad thing. The past couple of years led us to rethink priorities, from how we spend time to how we present ourselves to the world. As we step out in 2022, it might not be back to the old normal. However, the new normal we’re building takes a more holistic view of what it means to be well.
Author is Chelsea Lamb clamb@businesspop.net She has spent the last eight years honing her tech skills and is the resident tech specialist and co-founder of BusinessPop.net. Her goal is to demystify some of the technical aspects of business ownership and entrepreneurship
Dating coach Wendi Schuller of Wendi’s Tips draws upon her knowledge as a nurse, neuro-linguistic programmer (NLP), and hypnotherapist to provide a blueprint to guide people through divorce and beyond. Contact Wendi today to schedule your coaching session, or to find out more! wendischuller@hotmail.com
Relationship PTSD (Post Traumatic Stress Disorder)
Portrait Of Young Shy Couple Sitting On Sofa At Home
Trauma from past relationships affects a current one. The person may do the hot/cold dance – wanting to get closer, yet afraid of being burned again. Not only is relationship PTSD traumatic for the individual, but also to the other in the relationship. The person with PTSD can be afraid to acknowledge even to themselves, deep feelings – as this has led to heartbreak previously.
UK ‘s National Health Service (NHS) defines PTSD as an “anxiety disorder caused by very stressful or distressing events.” People with PTSD have high levels of stress hormones. When danger is perceived, the body produces adrenaline to trigger the fight or flight reaction. “People with PTSD have been found to continue to produce high amounts of fight or flight hormones even when there is no danger.”
How PTSD Manifests
In relationships, the person may bolt when things are getting serious. They are okay at the beginning – the Getting To Know You stage. When simple requests/demands are voiced by their dating partner, it can be overwhelming. “Do I stay and face a risk of rejection (whatever the trigger is)?” This person dances into a relationship, then dances right out again. Or keeps the partner at an arm’s length. You might be kept in the friend zone or friends with benefits one without a commitment.
The individual with relationship PTSD can be self-medicating with either drugs, alcohol, cigarettes or all three. This is to numb themselves and tamp down emotions. It feels more comfortable to put up an emotional blockade around themselves. If they are like a zombie, then there is no opening for trauma to sneak in. This is a faulty protection mechanism which is harmful to relationships. Insomnia is another problem for those with this PTSD. Some get flashbacks whether or not in a new relationship.
A person with dating PTSD is trying to avoid being hurt again. Also tries to avoid repeating patterns which led to the trauma -being left behind and heartbreak. The Lehigh Center for Clinical Research in Allentown, PA, USA states “Avoidance is a common symptom of PTSD. If you avoid communicating with your partner about important matters such as your feelings, because building a wall to protect yourself is easier, then you may be suffering from PTSD from your last toxic relationship.”
One man, Peter, had three traumatic dating relationships in a row and developed PTSD, complete with flashbacks. He opted not to date for 10 years. He became an alcoholic trying to deal with this trauma. Attending AA meetings gave him support dealing with his life. Now he is living with a fabulous woman.
What to do when dating a survivor of PTSD
- Go Slowly.
- Be Patient
- Learn when to pull back. They may crawl into their cave when the relationship is getting too intense.
- Give them space. They not initiate contact for a few weeks.
- Allow time to build a firm foundation. Then they can begin to trust you bit by bit.
It is a delicate balancing act
Pushing to get closer scares them away. Too little leaves them guessing if you are about to do a runner, which may have led to PTSD from previous relationship. Consider sending a short, to the point text “How is your day going?” or when something notable occurs. “I didn’t get the job” or “My short story won a prize.” Responding is easier than generating a text.
Have a full life
When you are busy, your mind is focused on these activities and less likely to be dwelling on the frustration of this dating relationship. You are more interesting and enticing when you do get together. They can laugh and wonder what antics/classes/events you are up to next. Your full life gives fuel for conversations. Taking improv acting classes, having fun at karaoke an d so forth, helps you seem different from previous dating partners where trauma occurred,
You may have to accept their pattern of being there and then backing away. No one can change another person. One can express needs with “I” statements. “I need you to text or call at least once a week.” “I want to get together at least every other week.”
Questions to ask yourself
- Are you getting frustrated with the dance backwards and forwards?
- Are you getting something out of the relationship?
- Are the good times outweighing the disappearing act?
- Are you feeling secure in the relationship?
- Are you both able to discuss personal history, problems, worries, etc?
- Are they focused on you when you are speaking?
- How strongly do you feel about them? In love? Or is it lust or merely a fascination?
Your dating partner is operating from fear. Fear is their reality. They are looking for indications that they may be mistreated again. You may be able to slowly build trust and have a successful relationship. Communication is imperative. Give it your all, and then if you need to bail, you know you did everything that you could. There is hope that after a bumpy start, your relationship can be successful.