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Global Guide to Divorce

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Tips For Learning The Skill Of Small Talk -The Way To Connect With Others

Life’s  upheavals  bring change which may necessitate  finding a new set of friends.  One can have just gotten through a divorce or relocated for a job. Small talk is the way to establishing connections with others.  You may feel like a nine-year old kid again on the first day at a new school.

It can be challenging to make small talk. Individuals have avoided parties and gatherings because the thought of engaging in this is scary. Small talk is an important skill – whether on the social scene or in networking. It enables one to make crucial contacts in their field. Small talk is necessary to establish a relationship which can result in a sale or a regular client.

Small talk starts out on the surface. You are both fishing around initially to discover a common link – an interest or activity. It might be the stage of life you are currently in – getting a divorce, or being parents to a toddler, etc. When the common link is found, then a portal opens to a deeper place of communication. You took the plunge and are now having a fulfilling conversation.

There are ways to make small talk less painful and more spontaneous. Attend an event. You have an instant topic of conversation – the concert, rugby match, school play or whatever it is. A co-worker who loathes small talk joined several MeetUp.com groups. The initial conversations are focused on the specific purpose of the group (hiking, books, travel). She can handle talking about the subject and picking up tips from the other members.

At a party, a good ice breaker is to ask how a person knows the hosts. You may find out that you both have things in common. Other sure topics to get things started, is to inquire about pets/children/grandchildren/holidays.

I comment on a person’s unique jewellery or article of clothing. This often leads to “I bought it in India” and we go on from there. Even something as banal as the weather can start an involved conversation on sports. I talk about how weather impacts my running and they may talk about skiing.

An acquaintance feels small talk can be superficial. She does not like it when strangers at a gathering, ask her questions. She feels this is an invasion of her privacy. People may ask questions to loosen your tongue. These individuals are merely trying learn a little bit about Rose. If she would volunteer information first, then it would not seem like an interrogation. Rose could turn the table around and ask them questions, thus not feeling on the spot. People have different levels of what they consider is private. An introvert like Rose, finds it more challenging to open up about their life.

In this digital world, small talk seems to have disappeared. Texting gets right to the point, by-passing the nuances which are picked up when being face-to-face. When in person, if one skips small talk and communicates in the digital style, it would be perceived as too abrupt.

Small talk takes practice, like other things in life. One does not pick up a violin and play it like a virtuoso on the first try. Nor be proficient at getting goals when learning football. Start in little increments. Talk to a person standing in the queue at the grocers. Chat with a sales clerk. Work up to more challenging encounters, such as at a wedding reception or Bar Mitzva celebration. I have made close, life-long friends by starting with small talk.

I am also a dating consultant and release weekly podcasts.     datingcoach.coach

3 Tips that Make Budget-Friendly Birthday Parties Easier for Parents

Kids look forward to celebrating their birthday party every year. If you are a parent who is working with a tight budget, however, you may not be looking forward to the costs of hosting a party in your home. Thankfully, putting together an unforgettable home birthday celebration for your child doesn’t have to cost a fortune if you use these budget-friendly tips.   

Keep Kids Busy without Worrying About Extra Expenses  

The whole point of a birthday party is to celebrate and have fun, so make sure you incorporate some savings-savvy party activities into your plans. Hosting a sleepover can offer some super creative ways to entertain all of your little guests, especially when you can put together a backyard stargazing party that’s practically free and oh so much fun! You can use a telescope you already own or have kids build their own. Party guests will be so excited to check out the stars at night, and backyard astronomy lessons are educational as well.

Looking for more activity ideas for a fun birthday bash? Check out these budget-friendly ideas, like a treasure hunt or a chance to stomp on balloons. Just be conscientious of any children who may have sensory processing issues, and try to have alternate games set up for them. Bingo and rubber duck hunts are autism-friendly activity options if you want your celebration to be inclusive of children who have special needs.  

Feed Those Hungry Party Guests without Going Over Budget  

To keep kids from getting cranky, you will want to have few snacks and beverages available. If you plan on hosting your children’s friends for a full meal, try to plan a menu that won’t break the bank but will still satisfy picky eaters. A hot dog bar is a fun way to fill those tummies, or you could go with pizza for a super easy crowd pleaser. Want to avoid the costs of a big meal? Schedule your party between mealtimes. Time is important when you have a super-slim food budget, so aim to have your event happen between 2 p.m. and 5 p.m.

Of course, no birthday bash is complete without a cake. Instead of overspending at a gourmet bakery, go to your local grocery store and give a plain cake an easy makeover that will wow everyone. Cakes from grocery stores are less expensive, and you don’t need to worry about ordering ahead. Simply scrape off any typical store decor, and replace it with your kid’s favorite candy or cereal.  

Plan Your Party Around a Theme to Make Decorating Simple  

Planning out activities and food options will help you keep party costs under control. You can make planning easier by coming up with a fun theme as well. Some of the most popular party themes let you get as fancy or basic as you want, and you can create most of these pulled-together parties for minimal costs.

If your child loves nature, consider a magical enchanted forest theme, and use free decor, like pine cones and tree branches, to spruce up your party space. You can even use pine cones for additional craft activities, which can save you even more. Complete the look and functionality of any birthday party theme by picking up supplies to match too. You can shop online for inexpensive party kits that come with everything you need to add the finishing touches to your celebration. From fun party plates to eco-friendly straws, you’ll have all of your birthday party bases covered.   

By celebrating your child’s birthday at home, you’re already on the right track to stay within your budget. Make sure you save even more, and still keep everyone having fun, by using the handy party-planning tips above. After all, your guests will care much more about the memories they make than they will about how much you spend on the party itself.

This article was written by Natalie Jones of homeownerbliss.info

Co-Parenting A Teenager That Is Vaping Behind Your Back

Raising a child as a single parent thanks to divorce is no mean feat. If that child is a teenager, then things often become more complicated and you need to know how to handle it..

Take, for instance, the vaping craze that’s exploded among teens. What happens when you discover that your teen is vaping behind your back? How will you handle it? How do you and your ex work together to discover a solution?

Why is Vaping Dangerous?

You might be wondering why vaping is a serious issue. Don’t worry, you’re not alone. Most parents and teens are under the impression that vaping simply involves inhaling harmless water vapor and flavor. There’s a misconception that e-cigarettes are better than conventional cigarettes.

However, while e-cigarettes are smoke and tobacco-free, most still contain nicotine. This is a dangerous, highly addictive substance that can wreak havoc on teens’ developing brains, affecting their learning ability, attention span as well as their mood and impulse control.

Additionally, the CDC reports that the vapor or aerosol from e-cigarettes isn’t as benign as once thought. It contains chemical fruit or candy flavorings that have been linked to certain lung ailments. What’s more, the nicotine in e-cigarettes might put users at risk for addiction to other drugs in the future.

Co-parenting A Vaping Teen

Teens can turn to vaping for several reasons including acting out because of divorce or because of peer pressure. Here’s how you and your ex-spouse can handle the situation:

Discuss the issue with your ex-spouse.

You and your ex-spouse need to sit down and discuss how you’re going to handle this situation. Things won’t work if one of you sees that vaping is a problem and the other thinks there’s nothing wrong with it. Get on the same page on how you’ll raise the issue with your teen, the consequences they’ll have to face and what kind of help they should receive, if necessary.

Have a discussion with your teen.

Next, have a discussion on vaping with your teen either separately or together as his parents. Avoid scolding or lecturing and instead, ask open-ended questions to initiate dialogue. This way, you have a chance of discovering the root cause of their behavior. During the discussion, educate your teen on the dangers of vaping.

Outline consequences to your teen.

For consistency, both you and your ex-spouse should agree on suitable consequences for your teen’s vaping. These consequences should be clear and should match the committed offense. For instance, you could ground your teen for some days or withdraw some of their privileges for a while. Ensure that consequences set are enforced by both of you and that rules are the same at both homes.

Seek professional help.

Finally, if you both notice that you’re not having any impact on your teen, seek professional help. It can be hard to quit vaping but it is possible as long as your teen is willing to do it. There are trained professionals who can guide your teen on how to become vape-free.

As parents, both you and your spouse should find ways to co-parent your teen through a vaping incident, keeping in mind that his well being is the most important thing.

Author of this article, Tyler Jacobson, enjoys going to the mountains near his home in Draper, Utah to connect with his wife and children through camping, hiking, and quality time together. When he isn’t rebooting in the outdoors, he shares his fatherly experiences with the world through writing and creative work. Tyler shares the ups and downs of family life and the solutions he’s found through lengthy research and involvement in the industry and his own experiences to help parents everywhere. Follow Tyler on: Twitter

Not step, Not Half, Just Family

The family structure in the US is changing and blended families are becoming more common. While raising any family comes with its fair share of hurdles, blended families have to deal with a lot more challenges.

I don’t have a blended family myself but I have friends who do and I admire the work they put into uniting their families. That’s the whole point, isn’t it? To have a happy family where everyone feels supported, valued and loved.

Sure blended families come with a lot of names depending on the mix involved. All kinds of remarriages can happen, thrusting children from both partners into a world of “steps” and “halves”. You can have stepfathers and mothers, step-siblings and half-siblings. These names might be biologically correct but sometimes they miss the point –FAMILY.

A blended family, regardless of how it came about, is still family. We are human and sometimes we tend to focus on irrelevant things. So rather than spending time worrying about titles in blended families, what you should call each other or how to explain your family to other people, the focus should be on bringing your family together.

Uniting a Blended Family Can Be Challenging

When it comes to families, none is perfect and blended ones can be even more challenging to bring up. Don’t let the Brady Bunch fool you, becoming one united blended family doesn’t always go seamlessly.

It would be naïve to expect your family to meld together right away. Your children will need time to adjust to your new partner and their new siblings. Sibling rivalry will still be there and might even be worse, especially if the number of kids in the family increases and they feel they’re not getting the attention they’re used to.

Parents also need some time to adjust to the changes brought about by blending their families. You’ll have to work together to navigate tricky terrain with co-parenting, discipline issues, dealing with holidays and celebrations, divided loyalties and other headaches that may arise. You’ll find yourselves looking for any parenting tips you can get your hands on and having lots of conversations to work things out.

In spite of these challenges, it’s up to you to give bringing the family together your best shot.

Yes, It’s Worth It

So what if your child has a different biological mother or father? Or maybe they’re not comfortable calling you mom or dad and instead prefer using your first names? Does that make you love them any less?

Ignore the “half” and “step” titles and purpose to unite the family, bonded by love under one roof. Think of it as having been given a puzzle to complete with a bunch of different pieces thrown in. Insisting on making the original picture on the box won’t work. What will work is making a new picture with the pieces you have now.

Purpose not to separate members through titles and proudly say yours isn’t a step or half family, but just a family.

Author of this article, Tyler Jacobson, enjoys going to the mountains near his home in Draper, Utah to connect with his wife and children through camping, hiking, and quality time together. When he isn’t rebooting in the outdoors, he shares his fatherly experiences with the world through writing and creative work. Tyler shares the ups and downs of family life and the solutions he’s found through lengthy research and involvement in the industry and his own experiences to help parents everywhere. Follow Tyler on: Twitter

 

 

More Than Just A Snore: The Impact Snoring Can Have On A Marriage

Snoring can be incredibly annoying, especially if you aren’t the snoring partner. Many people are nighttime snorers, but did you know that over time it can cause problems for your marriage? Not only can snoring be a sign of a bigger health issue, but leaving it unchecked can progress into relationship issues no one wants to encounter.

So, just like you would work to get your child the help they need, you need to tackle a snoring issue with as much concentration.

What Can Cause Snoring

Anyone can be affected by snoring, and there are a variety of issues that can lead to snoring. Some common symptoms are:

  • Sleeping on your back
  • Nose or throat infection
  • Deviated septum
  • Obesity
  • Drinking alcohol
  • Sleep apnea

Now, most of those causes you have probably heard of before, except for maybe sleep apnea. This sleep disorder is triggered by your airway being blocked, leading you to wake up multiple times a night to restart your breathing. There are many complications associated with sleep apnea, and as snoring is one of the key sleep apnea symptoms, it is essential that the snoring partner is tested to rule out the problem.

How Snoring Can Impact Your Marriage

It can seem like hyperbole that snoring can have any real impact on your marriage, yet it can take a toll, especially as disruptive snoring can lead to heightened negative emotions.

For example, say your partner has started to snore loudly on a nightly basis. Not only can it be difficult to get to sleep if someone is snoring in your ear, but if your partner snores loudly enough to wake you up multiple times a night, it is highly likely that you will feel pretty irritable with the lack of sleep. And we all know when we feel irritated, it is far easier to pick fights and take offense to things we normally brush off.

In fact, researchers conducted a study that examined how married couples were affected by having one partner constantly woken up by snoring. Their initial survey revealed that people who slept near a snorer often had low satisfaction with their relationship, and often, communication deteriorated as tempers shortened with the lack of quality sleep.

Ways To Tackle Snoring As A Couple

Rather than allow snoring to become a wedge between you and your partner, there are ways to tackle snoring. Some of these solutions depend on the snoring partner taking action, but having a supportive partner to assist and cheer on can make all the difference as changes are made. Ways a snorer and their partner can tackle this sleep-disrupting issue is by:

  • Sleeping on their side, using supportive devices if needed.
  • Making sure they are not overweight and losing weight when necessary.
  • Being tested for sleep apnea, either with a home sleep test or sleep study.
  • Resolve allergies or infection to open airway.
  • Have surgery to correct nasal passageway issues, such as overly large adenoids or a deviated septum.
  • Avoid substances like muscle relaxants, alcohol, and nicotine.
  • Use a continuous positive airway pressure (CPAP) machine to reduce breathing stress.
  • Elevate the head so that it is slightly above the rest of the body.

While there are clearly other associated factors, snoring can be the catalyst that leads to serious  marital struggles. Do what is needed now, as managing a partner’s snoring is far easier than couples counseling, separation, or even divorce, when the right steps are taken.

Author of this article, Tyler Jacobson, enjoys going to the mountains near his home in Draper, Utah to connect with his wife and children through camping, hiking, and quality time together. When he isn’t rebooting in the outdoors, he shares his fatherly experiences with the world through writing and creative work. Tyler shares the ups and downs of family life and the solutions he’s found through lengthy research and involvement in the industry and his own experiences to help parents everywhere. Follow Tyler on: Twitter

 

Divorced? Here Is What To Do With Your Diamond Ring

A diamond wedding ring’s value and meaning to you will obviously change after divorce. However, that doesn’t mean its value goes away entirely. Although the marriage may be over, the ring is still worth something to someone. 

Selling a diamond is certainly an option; however,  a smart way to take advantage of this is to redesign your post-divorce diamond jewelry. Since you likely won’t want to keep the metal setting, removing the diamond and using it in a new way ensures it isn’t wasted. 

Are you interested in redesigning your divorce jewelry? If so, consider the following project ideas. 

A Necklace  

Setting a diamond into a necklace or making it a pendant is a simple but incredibly effective way to elevate a piece of jewelry.   

When planning your design, consider how every detail will impact the look of the necklace. The diamond may be the most noticeable feature, but it is by no means the only feature worth paying attention to.  

You also want to look into chain options. You want to decide whether adding pearls to the necklace will complement the diamond’s beauty, or distract from it. If you choose to add them, you want to make sure you pick the ideal size pearls. 

Luckily, this can be a fun experience, giving you the opportunity to explore and express your own personal creativity!

Earrings  

Earrings prove just how gorgeous a diamond can be. Despite being very small, diamond stud earrings can nevertheless transform any look.  

Thus, you might want to use the diamond from your old wedding ring to create half of one pair. Work with a jeweler to find a similar diamond for the other half, or if you prefer, simply wear one earring; some people find this unique twist to be very stylish.  

A New Ring  

It’s worth noting that redesigning your diamond jewelry after a divorce doesn’t need to involve completely changing the nature of it. If you like the look of a diamond ring, you can still remove the diamond from its original setting (it’s best to hire a professional to do this for you if you lack the proper experience) and insert it into a new setting. 

This is another instance when you should take the time to consider your preferences and tastes. Research different setting styles to find one that appeals to you.  

This is the most important point to keep in mind. For understandable reasons, you might assume the process of redesigning post-divorce jewelry will be upsetting.  

It certainly doesn’t have to be. Instead, it can be a joyful experience, giving you the chance to learn about yourself as you embark on the next stage in your life.

Author of this article  Rae Steinbach   is a graduate of Tufts University with a combined International Relations and Chinese degree. After spending time living and working abroad in China, she returned to NYC to pursue her career and continue curating quality content. Rae is passionate about travel, food, and writing.”

7 Ways To Express Your Love For Your Partner Without Saying It

Love is that effortless emotion that can transform even the most impassive person. Sometimes we miss out on the signs or moments where we can express our love, without saying a single word. These are simple gestures towards our partner. Understanding the tiniest detail of your loved one shows how much you love him/her.

Saying ‘I Love You’ always works and will end your fights magically. Here are a few other creative ways to express your love for your partner without having to say it.

  1. Share your deepest fear/secrets  

Our deepest and darkest fears or secrets are very personal. Sharing these with your partner will make him/her believe that you trust them entirely. This can make them feel really special and loved. It expresses your faith in your loved one and assures he/she is the most important person in this entire world. Also, it allows your partner to help you get out of it if you wish to. Growing together in love, eliminating flaws or accepting them, finding serenity is all that matters.

  1. Attention to Details 

When does he/she wake up? What is his/her favorite dish? Or favorite T.V show? Small details can bring immense happiness. If you know your partner’s favorites, what keeps them happy or what puts them off, you will be able to express your compassion towards them. It will show that you care for the minute details only to bring that smile on your partner’s face. For instance, opening the car door for her, placing the food on her plate, keeping the hot water ready for his/her bath. Small acts matter in love. And these are not just a onetime action. Practice it to engrave it in your nature. Be genuine and don’t make it pretentious.

  1. Listen  

Listening involves paying interest to no matter what your partner is saying. Put your phone down, and prioritize the person in front of you longing to communicate. To listen to your partner is to show that you genuinely care for him/her. It shows your involvement physically and mentally. Look at them and show your concern, and when the need arises, give your opinion. Your partner might need your consideration or assistance with something which they might have shared just yesterday. It is the simplest way of expressing your affection without the need for uttering a word.

  1. Send Gifts  

Yes, and there is no need for any special occasion. Randomly pick a flower and surprise her. Send gifts to his/her office, giving them a chance to chuck out tensions. As said earlier, a gesture of your love, your presence that you are there for him/her forever, makes a huge impact. That is how you can convey love. Send your girlfriend a dainty piece of casual white dress to let her know that she is the angel of your life. Or surprise him by planning for an adventure, a dinner date, where you could cook for him and eat with some wine like Stella Rosa Black and champagne like Totts or maybe a football game date or any other sport he enjoys the most.

  1. Understand Each Other’s Ambitions or Choices 

At the end of the day, you and your partner are two separate individuals with different aims in life. Your ideologies are compatible, but ambitions might differ. Your way of expressing affection should involve an understanding of that. Compassionate love is about appreciating by allowing your partner’s individual growth and success. It becomes a matter of respect. Give your partner space. Believe it, giving each other space will make your relationship healthier. How much you value your partner’s dream to achieve something. Learning how to cook a new dish is also an achievement. Celebrate it without any reason to show her love.

  1. The Magic of Touch 

Animals express their love through touch, and that is always mesmerizing to witness. The magic of touch is effective enough to heal even an ailing person. Hold hands while watching a movie. Make your partner feel exceptional because he/she has you to support and stand by any day. A simple act of touch and cuddle can tickle that spark between you every time. A kiss on the forehead itself speaks a thousand words.

  1. Stay Positive  

‘To err is human; to forgive, divine.’ Focusing too much on flaws will bring negativity to your relationship. Instead, ignore those aspects and center your relationship on positive things. What binds you together? What do you love about him/her? Life is too short to hold on to grudges or fights. Be thankful for who your partner is. Imperfection makes us the person we are. So, figure out how to accept those and move on. That will show your true love.

Conclusion:  

Communication is the key to build that mutually engaging relationship where both can pour out energy and soul in making each other feel special every day. Compromising at times on petty issues will prevent unnecessary arguments. Love might mean different for each one us. Do not conclude that your partner doesn’t love you on the basis of these. He/she might express it in another way. An act of kindness, a piece of thoughtful advice, touch, is some everyday actions that show love and compassion.

Author’s Bio:
“Jessica Smith has been writing for a few years now. She is a writer by day and reader by night. She was a very quiet child but writing always inspired her and that is why she began writing in her free time. She loves reading, be it a newspaper, a book or anything. She also loves cooking, traveling and dancing. She wants to be a successful writer as writing is her passion.”

 

 

 

Combat Your Teen’s Narcissism By Teaching Them Sincere Empathy

Teenagers are notorious for two things—teen angst and narcissism. In fact, many parents wonder where they went wrong in bringing up their kids to become so self-centered.

The good news is, your teen’s self-absorption is not a reflection of your parenting. They are just going through the normal phases of growing up. It turns out that being egocentric is a normal part of teen development, as it helps them figure out their unique identities separate from their families.

However, normal teen narcissism should not be confused with narcissistic personality disorder (NPD). The latter is a diagnosable condition and people with the disorder normally experience difficulties in having normal lives.

Also, those with NPD often struggle to maintain healthy relationships, and the disorder usually affects their education or employment. Teens who are diagnosed with NPD require lengthy treatment and a change of environment like that provided at a therapeutic boarding school.

Dealing With Your Narcissistic Teen

The key to dealing with a self-centered teen lies in building empathy. You will need to find ways to help your teen learn how to understand and share other people’s feelings. Here are some strategies that might help.

Get your teen to volunteer.

Volunteering has several benefits for teens including opening their eyes to what others go through. Through volunteering, your teen will learn how to be a giver, not just a taker. They will come to experience the satisfaction that comes with helping those who are in need.

Help them see other alternatives.

Teens have a way of assuming other people’s behavior is somehow related to them. For instance, your teen might think that the teacher who gave him a poor grade doesn’t like him. So help your teen see that while his conclusion is a definite possibility, there could be other alternatives as well.

Don’t overindulge your teen.

Set limits on how much cash or presents you give your teen and avoid showering them with too many lavish experiences or gifts. Those only reinforce the notion that their self-worth lies in material things and showing off to others. Instead, teach your teenager that self-worth comes from the inside out and help them develop confidence in their abilities.

Limit their social media use.

Social media can encourage your teen to become superficial and obsessed with having perfect looks or material items. Limiting their screen time is a good place to start. You can also encourage them to take up other pursuits and hobbies that will help them become well-rounded teenagers instead.

Don’t shield your teen from failure.

Another excellent way to fight your teen’s narcissism is allowing them to face the consequences of their actions and not shielding them from life’s failures. Allowing your teen to experience disappointment and failure once in a while is actually good for their healthy development. Just remember to equip them with the necessary problem-solving skills to address situations on their own should they get into trouble.

While it’s normal for teens to be a little narcissistic, you should still encourage your teen to change their behavior by instilling the values of empathy in them.

Author of this article, Tyler Jacobson, enjoys going to the mountains near his home in Draper, Utah to connect with his wife and children through camping, hiking, and quality time together. When he isn’t rebooting in the outdoors, he shares his fatherly experiences with the world through writing and creative work. Tyler shares the ups and downs of family life and the solutions he’s found through lengthy research and involvement in the industry and his own experiences to help parents everywhere. Follow Tyler on: Twitter

10 Dreamy Places To Visit With Your Partner

Travelling is unquestionably one of the best ways of spicing up a relationship. A romantic getaway with your soulmate is something you probably need to consider to keep that candle of joy burning. Traveling to a new place will definitely go a long way to help you create lasting memories.

But what are some of the places you can visit? There are thousands of places that have a romantic vibe. Some of them may actually be right there in your locality.  In this article, we will unveil ten places that should be on your traveling bucket list and what makes them so special. 

Santorini, Greece   

Santorini is an island in the Aegean sea. And you should definitely try seafood from this places, it’s yummy. This small town is known for its beauty and traditional architecture inspired by the Greek culture. One of the most iconic places in Santorini is Oia. It provides one of the world’s best sunset views you can ever imagine. Imagine watching the orange ball kiss the sea from a cliff on the edge of the beautiful town; isn’t that romantic?

Santorini also houses some of the best beach cottages in the world. They make it a nice destination for a honeymoon. What makes a trip to Santorini even more appealing is the fact that accommodation and hotel services are fairly priced as compared to other similar holiday destinations around the world.   

Bali, Indonesia   

How about a walk on the black sandy beach? You got it right, it’s actually black. This may sound odd and creepy but believe you me, it’s magical once you get there. Karamus Beach in Bali is one of the most beautiful places to visit. A walk on the expansive beach with your loved one in the morning breeze can be quite romantic.

As much as black sands draw your attention, there is a lot more you can do in Bali. It offers a good venue for water sports such as jet skiing and board surfing. You should definitely give it a try sometime.  Bali also houses some of the world’s classiest beach hotels. Imagine sharing a bottle of the prestigious Dalmore with your other half as you watch the subtle sea tempest from a balcony of a hotel just off the black beach. Fancy, right? 

Venice, Italy  

Venice is a city with a rich history. Its history is best portrayed in its prowess in performing arts. You should definitely pay a visit to one of those opera theatres in Venice. You will appreciate how Italy’s culture and traditions are integrated into modern stage performances. The peak of it is the dazzling classical music from the opera’s own live orchestra.

If you are a fan of travel shows on television and blogs, then you have most probably heard about the famous gondola rides. It’s so calming to ride in a gondola through the grand canal and the Po River that literally flows in the middle of the city. Venice literally oozes with romantic experiences.  Saint Tropez, France  

You probably have not heard of this one that much. It is a popular notion that France is the land of Romance. I can’t think of a better place in France to justify this other than Saint Tropez. It is a coastal town and therefore provides all those beach and ocean niceties.

My favorite place in Saint Tropez is its outskirts. It has this nature vibe that you definitely ought to try. Infamously, it is surrounded by beautiful countryside with spanning vineyards. You should try getting a few bottles of wine from there.   It also has really nice roads that you can enjoy taking a drive or a ride on. It won’t be such a bad idea for you and your lover to grab a dr650 and cruise through the hilly terrain of the countryside of Saint Tropez. Don’t forget to carry a tool pouch if you are planning for a bike ride, you don’t want to get stuck in the middle of nowhere in case of any breakdown. 

Masai Mara, Kenya    

Have you experienced Africa’s tropical climate? You should definitely try it for a change. Pay Masai Mara a visit especially in the month of August. You and your loved one should try and go check out the wildebeest migration; one of the wonders of the world. 

Cartagena, Colombia   

This port city in Columbia is a gem in the tourism world. It is one of the most beautiful places you and your significant half can visit. It will be quite enjoyable to walk down history lane and mingling with people of Colombian origin by getting to learn about their traditions. 

Swiss Alps   

Ice skiing is one of the most thrilling activities. The Swiss Alps will definitely spike up your adrenaline. You don’t have to be a protégé at it to try it out. The good news is, you can get experts to guide you through it. You can as well choose to take a retreat in one of those mountain cabins.

Is hiking your thing? If yes, then the hilly ranges adjacent to the Alps are definitely your place. You and your lover can grab the chance to be part of a camping pilgrimage. A wild adventure will definitely give you a chance to put your survival and exploration skills to the test. 

Whistler, Canada  

There is love in the mountains! Add spice to your relationship by surprising your spouse with a trip to Whistler. Rent a cottage and have the experience of having a model home in the lofty mountains.  To add more taste to it, you can visit the Whistler art galleries and gaze upon the artistic prowess that adorns the walls. You will also get to chance to see the trophies of some of the mountain’s almost extinct wildlife species.

Don’t forget to pay a visit to the fire and ice show. You will be intrigued to watch some of the world’s most daring acrobats perform amidst flaming rings. 

Tulum, Mexico   

This is truly one of the most exquisite and exotic places any couple should visit. It’s not by surprise that it is one of the most popular honeymoon destinations. Tulum has a good number of hotels and restaurants that will allow the two of you to try the Mexican cuisine.  A visit to Tulum is not complete without engagement in the Mexican festivities. It is a chance to experience their adorable and intricate culture first hand. Notably, Mexico is known for its cordial and welcoming people. 

Hawaii, USA  

This is one of the most exciting places to tour. Besides its beautiful beaches and five-star hotels, it’s nightlife stands out. If you are a couple that treasures a good party time, then Hawaii is a good choice. It houses some of the most lively clubs. You can also get a chance to attend concerts grazed upon by some of the world’s best musicians.

Truly, love is not complete without happiness and a bottle of Weller bourbon. Make your relationship interesting by visiting some of these places. It will definitely be worth your while. Love is about making memories that you look back at during hard times and see more reason to stick together.

 

 

Letting Go Of The Past After Divorce Or Break Up

It can be hard to let go of the past when married life is over. Focusing on what was instead of what is, hinders an individual from moving on post-divorce. Divorce may come as a shock and fixating on what used to be, gets in the way of taking action now. Some people interviewed, kept dreaming about the past, as the present was too painful. Yet others felt if they denied what was happening (a spouse leaving), things would go back to what they were.

One sign that a person is hanging on to an ex-spouse and not letting go, is by talking endlessly about them. An acquaintance went on and on about her former husband until somebody else changed the subject. She did not date, but instead wallowed in that relationship which she failed to leave behind post-divorce. There were no children and it was a clean break.

I occasionally run into her former husband who has never brought up his ex and was able to move on in life. He is happily remarried and is a proud step-father. It is a choice whether to stay mentally attached to a former partner or face the cold truth of reality that the other person is not coming back.

Part of getting beyond reliving the past is that the void has to be filled. When an old life and marital relationship ends – something has to fill this gaping hole. This was the problem with my acquaintance. She did not try to meet people, take a class or pursue new endeavours. The void remained.

A first step to moving on, is replacing the loss of people and things with new adventures, activities, and friends. Expand your social circle by joining a special interest group or renewing friendships that may have fallen by the wayside when married. I joined travel and book clubs. Other divorced pals are in film and hiking ones. There are many studies globally that show the health benefits of being connected to others.

A new job during the early phase of my divorce proceedings, was mentally stimulating. There was less time to think about my losses. Others have taken courses or changed career paths after a divorce. Take up a sport for a physical challenge. The goal is to keep mentally and physically active to fill the void and find life more fulfilling. When one’s agenda is crammed full of events, and pleasurable pursuits, looking ahead instead of behind is easier.

Please read more   www.divorcemag.com/blog/how-to-let-go-of-the-past-after-divorce/

How to Maintain a Relationship – People Share Their Secrets

This is a cross processed photo of a young African American couple with the city behind them.

Tips on how to avoid potential pitfalls when dating. It can be puzzling how other folks stay together for half of a century when your relationships last for a few dates. A variety of couples graciously revealed their secrets to what makes a relationship last.

Just let go

At the end of the day, let go of the trivial things which happened. Do not get worked up over the small stuff, but rather focus on what is important. When we carry all of these insignificant grudges around, they become a big load. No one is perfect – so give your partner some slack. Do not keep score. “I did this so you had better do that.” One acquaintance kept a tally of grievances and when she reached a high number, they got a divorce. A friend kept track of who did what chores. She expected them to be split 50/50 even though she worked fewer hours outside of the home. That ended in divorce. Your spouse’s actions are not motivated by malice, so just let go. We all have annoying quirks.

No one has the power to  “make” you happy

People have divorced or broken up with partners when that individual no longer “made them happy.” We choose our feelings and no one else has the power to make us feel a certain way. It is in our control to be happy or not. Long -term couples said that they required other relationships besides the marital one, such as being in clubs and with friends. The Dalai Lama states “True happiness does not depend on an external being or thing. It only depends upon us.” When becoming unhappy, that is a red flag to have a discussion with your partner. One woman informed her husband that she wanted a divorce because she was so unhappy. Talking this through, they discovered that she missed her old job and was miserable being a stay-at-home mom. Once back in the workforce, she was content with her life.

Follow your gut instinct

A priest said that he talks to both mothers when doing weddings. He tells these ladies not to interfere with their children’s relationship. Do not let your friends interfere with your relationship either. Friends can mean well, however give lousy advice that is detrimental. They may have their own agenda, which does not align with yours. Two co-workers were close and the friend played racquetball with the other’s husband. She pretended to support her married pal, but the end result was that the couple got divorced and the other two got married. Trust your gut instinct and do not rely on others to offer opinions on what to do. I knew it would be a mistake to get married to my now ex-husband. An older family friend kept insisting it was only “pre-wedding jitters” and to go through with it. Big mistake listening to her.

Be  careful about what you say

Be careful of what you confide to others -especially when going through a difficult time. Friends will side with you and may not like your partner after hearing your complaints about him or her. They often continue to loathe them after your problems are resolved. You may be told you are too good for your spouse, when personal details are overshared with family and friends. What you say in anger can have a negative effect on their viewpoint of your partner and of you remaining in the relationship.

Share

Couples stated that sharing was important, which includes sharing child care responsibilities. One father said that he is “the bottle washer” since his wife also works full time. Sharing household duties means looking around for what needs to be done and not waiting for a partner to ask for help.

Have fun and a sense of humor

Many said having a sense of humor keeps things running smoothly. Laughter connects people and having fun adds spice to the relationship. Couples have taken up Salsa dance lessons, golf, joined gourmet dining clubs or got into volunteering. They have become active in community issues or rediscovered a long-lost passion in life. These people are reinventing themselves together on the same path. Life events have kept some individuals from traveling in the past. I have met many couples in second marriages exploring the world and ticking off exotic places from their Bucket Lists. Others have gotten involved in projects together, such as renovating a house for retirement is a sunny locale.

At a fiftieth wedding anniversary celebration, the wife said that “commitment is love – you can’t have love without commitment.” When they went through rough patches, they each knew the other was committed to the marriage and was not going to bolt. Secrets to lasting love is to have kindness, be respectful of your partner and put them first in your life above others.

Originally published in Divorce Force   www.divorceforce.com/

The Way to Let Go Is Through Forgiveness

As human beings, we instinctively do everything we can to avoid harm. We look before we cross the road, we’re careful when chopping vegetables, wear protective equipment when we’re engaging in potentially dangerous tasks and so on. Indeed, our desire not to damage ourselves is so ingrained that there are too many examples to name – but there’s one exception.

Whilst we actively do our utmost to prevent ourselves from suffering emotional pain, an awful lot of us seem to make an exception when we believe someone else is to blame for our suffering – something which is particularly true of disgruntled divorcees.

It’s strange how when one spouse wants a divorce and the other doesn’t the reluctant party usually relents, recognising that there’s little point in remaining married to someone who no longer loves them, but continues to harbour resentment towards their former spouse. It’s completely understandable that the rejected party feels hurt, of course, but without a concerted effort on their part, it’s all too easy for hurt to become hatred which, in turn, becomes prolonged pain and suffering. Worst of all, afflicted spouses that find themselves in this position are reluctant to let go of their anger. Some even feel that these horrific feelings – and the pain they cause – are necessary; a reminder of why they should never trust the person that brought them such anguish.

Forgive for your own good

I myself know how difficult it can be to forgive and forget. I suffered from severe bullying throughout my time at school and I spent a significant portion of my life hating the perpetrators. People that cared about me recognised this was causing me pain and encouraged me to forget things and move on. Their suggestions fell on deaf ears – I was even offended by them, as if they were taking the side of the bullies and dismissing my feelings. They weren’t, they were trying to help me help myself.

As much as a part of me felt like I would have been letting my tormentors off the hook if I forgave them, it was actually myself who benefited when I bit the bullet and sought the help I needed to deal with my painful memories. My quality of life improved immeasurably as a result and I can assure you that, however hard or even impossible forgiving your former spouse may seem, it is possible and, more importantly, it’s in your best interests to do so.

Seek help if you need it

If you find that you can’t forgive your former spouse, you’re far from alone. Many people need professional help to let go of painful memories – I did, and I can assure you that it’s the best decision I’ve ever made. The anxiety I previously felt is all but gone, my self-esteem has improved and I’m a significantly happier person.

If you’re able to forgive and forget without assistance, great. If you aren’t, there’s no shame in seeking the help of a professional like a counsellor or psychiatrist and I’d strongly recommend you do. It’ll benefit those around you and, most importantly of all, you too.

Author Bio: Jay Williams works for Quickie Divorce, one of the UK’s largest providers of quick online divorce solutions and divorce papers. He lives in Cardiff with his wife and two-year-old daughter Eirys.