Tips on Helping Others Get Through Divorce

Getting through an acrimonious divorce makes one an expert. You learned the ins and outs and discovered what worked. Making it through this difficult life transition enables you to illuminate the path for others. Just be careful of how you do this.

1. Do not give unsolicited advice to your friend during her divorce. None whatsoever. Yes, they may be making the same mistakes, but even well-meaning advice can be perceived as criticism or judgmental. Bite your tongue if necessary. There are ways to get information across plus share your wisdom by speaking about personal divorce experiences.

2. Pick relevant divorce scenarios that you survived and your friend is facing now. If you wished your ex’s pension plan had been divided in half and you received less of another asset, then let your friend know. She/he is making financial decisions too.

Maybe you bought your spouse out of your marital home and wished that it had been sold and profits divided — that is a helpful tip. Letting them know what worked and what didn’t in your divorce gives one information to digest about their own situation.

An acquaintance told me the best thing she did in her divorce was to select a strong therapist for her son who was comfortable going to court. I asked for his name and he ended up going to court post-divorce for my younger son. She never told me what to do. Use statements like, “Have you thought about,” or “Did your attorney consider?”

3. Inquire if they want some divorce resources to help  get through  divorce. Inform them of what helped you in your community. I tell people about our local community college’s women in transitions course which brought in speakers on a plethora of topics, such as finances, dealing with stress and moving on. This class is available across the country and was like a lifeline for me. http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2014/06/18/divorce-advice_n_5490177.html