Why People Stay in an Unhappy Marriage

Sometimes we miss the first signs that our marriage is over. It is not because we are dense, but rather that we choose not to notice these clues. Are we so wrapped up in our lives that we cannot recognize when a marriage is dead and is on life support? Avoidance is a way of not dealing with a situation. By wearing blinders – one can pretend all is fine. Admitting that there are problems is a given, that effort will be required to address them. It takes a lot of energy surviving in an unhappy marriage, and some do not want to exert more energy in fixing it or getting a divorce. This is taking the path of least resistance and keeping the status quo.

  1. Fear. One may be in a dead marriage, but fear of change can keep someone trapped. Some women enjoy their lifestyle of being a soccer mom and household manager. When not needing to bring in a second income, they can volunteer, be active in their children’s school and have more time to get together with friends. Getting a divorce is unknown territory that potentially affects their social standing, where they live and finances. Now days, alimony is usually given for a few years or so after a marriage has ended and this can be a motivator to stick out a loveless marriage. Divorce often involves moving, which is especially traumatic when liking the neighbors and house location. Divorce may feel like a gamble – so some choose to stay put in their current marital situation where they know what to expect.
  2. For the sake of the kids. People may stay in a bitter marriage because they think that is best for the children. Some dads are very hands on and active in their kids’ lives, such as being their sports’ coach. Mothers may feel guilty if the kids would not have both parents in the home. While it is a noble thought to be with both parents round the clock – in actuality that may not be in the youngsters’ best interest. Living in a tense atmosphere or with angry adults is not healthy and spending time with happy parents, albeit separately, is. When caught up in the turmoil of a miserable marriage, it can be difficult to envision that there will be quality time spent with each parent. Kids will adjust to divorce especially when being with calm, less stressed and happier parents.

3. Some people stay in a marriage because they feel that they can fix their spouse.  Please read more divorcedmoms.com/articles/4-reasons-women-dont-leave-an-unhappy-marriage