You Can’t Change Someone Else, Only Yourself

Often we think that we can change someone else after marrying them. We can only change ourselves or our own reactions to people’s behavoir. We have excuses for partners’ actions, rather than accepting that maybe this is their true nature. Intrinsic values and ethics are part of a person’s core and not something that is easily shed after matrimony.

Nina started dating a guy in her large company who worked in a different section. She knew that he had dated many others and had the reputation of being a ladies’ man. Her older cousin had been a player and settled down into domestic bliss. Nina remembered the old cliché that it takes the love of the right woman to get a man to settle down. The actor Warren Beatty left his wild ways behind when he married Annette Benning. Nina’s friends had their doubts about this union, but did not want to voice them and hurt her feelings. It is difficult whether or not to give your opinion to a friend, that their boy/girlfriend may have a darker side. If many pals give the same feedback to you, then keep an open mind about your date. You may be missing a major character flaw that is not going to change at a later point.

Sometimes a person goes into marriage thinking a party person will change their ways. Divorced friends have expressed this wisdom, to marry someone as they are –not what they could be. Small foibles and quirks are okay, however lapses of ethics are not. If there is any hint of disrespect, then move on. Expect to be treated with courtesy and consideration by a potential partner..

You Can’t Change Other People, Only Yourself