Choosing Friends After Divorce

Guilt by association. Your friends reflect back upon you – so be selective whom you choose. Be with people in this post-divorce time who share your ethics. We do not always agree upon political candidates, religion or sports teams, but our basic values ought to be similar. If someone is skating on the edge of the law, then distance yourself from them. We are starting life anew after divorce and do not need questionable people. If pals are doing activities which conflict with your morals, then consider dropping them. Or at least take a break so you can step back and evaluate these relationships.

We are vulnerable after divorce, so listen to alarm bells going off when you are uncomfortable around someone. We may keep a friendship because it is a habit. Being in the company of unethical folks chips away at our psyche or as one woman said it is a “soul ache.” I felt sorry for a divorced dad in the construction business who needed work. I trusted him and the accuracy of his fees. When I started receiving astonomical bills for some big projects, we parted ways. This was after another guy in the same business informed me that I paid more than double the going rate. We were on friendly terms, yet he still needlessly took a chunk of my divorce settlement for some renovations and repairs. I learned that people have to earn my trust.

If you are in relationships that you normally would shun, determine if it is because you are lonely. Strengthen the connections that you already have, such as with family, workmates and supportive pals. Do not start new friendships on the basis that you feel needy, but rather that you both have something to offer. Please read more:  http://blogsondivorce.com/friendships-post-divorce/