How to Help Your Kids Feel Comfortable in Two Homes

When parents separate or divorce, it can be difficult for children to adjust to having two homes, one with each parent. Children are notoriously bad at adapting to new environments and regular changes. On the other hand, a kid gets a brand new place to call his or her own, a fresh bedroom to personalize, and a whole new area to discover. You may make the transition to dual residence easier on everyone by taking some measures, whether you’re setting up a new address or keeping the current one throughout the separation or divorce. Here are some ways to help your kids feel comfortable in two homes. 

Give them their own space 

Many people don’t realize how chaotic divorce may be. It may still be a hassle even when everyone is on the same page. However, once family law professionals have helped you reach a resolution, it is time to prioritize your children’s health and happiness. 

First, make sure you and your ex-spouse both provide a room for the children. They can have their own room, a section of the closet, or even just a corner of the living room to store their belongings and do their homework. Having their own space may make a big difference in how youngsters adjust to their new environment. 

Establish routines 

Children benefit significantly from routines because they provide stability and predictability. Create consistent patterns for them to follow from house to house. Make an effort to coordinate with your ex so that your children have consistent routines in both homes, particularly regarding scheduling activities, such as bedtime, screen time, and curfews. It’s okay for each parent to have their own rules and routines, but it’s preferable if there isn’t a massive difference if you want to help your kids feel comfortable in two homes. 

Keep in touch with your kids 

Discover a strategy to stay in touch with your children when they are staying with their other parent, without intruding on the time that parent is spending with the children. You may set up a daily phone conversation, video chat, or at least check in every few days. You can support your kids during the divorce in this way. In order to assist your kids in keeping track of when they should be there, a color-coded calendar might be kept in each house. 

Keep your cool 

Although it may seem simple, this is typically the hardest to do. The only time some parents see each other is during their child’s transition, and they may utilize this time to work out their differences. Keep your youngster out of the center of your disagreements by having these talks behind closed doors. Besides, such matters can be discussed by email or phone call between visits. Make sure there is no unnecessary drama throughout the changeover. 

Have open conversations 

Open communication about both households is another strategy to help your kids feel comfortable in two homes. It’s sometimes hard to make decisions when you’re divorced, and communication is usually very hard to upkeep. It’s tough to deal with the emotions that come with a divorce, but remember that your children value both of their homes. It’s important to show them that you value their opinion and are willing to give them the attention and validation they need because they are an integral part of your life. Your child should feel no remorse for enjoying the love and support of both families. So, keep things upbeat and civil. 

Don’t compete 

It might be difficult for the parent who stays at the original house to hear their children talk enthusiastically about the new room at the other parent’s house. However, this is not the time to attempt to outdo the other parent by renovating your children’s former bedroom. In this situation, the last thing a youngster needs is additional change. Their excitement about the new home shouldn’t make them feel bad about themselves, so try not to compete. 

Make a packing plan 

Traveling back and forth between many residences can be taxing on everyone’s energy levels. Toiletries, pajamas, spare clothes, books, and movies should be kept on hand at both residences to help ease this burden. Assist smaller children with their overnight packing the night before. Make sure you pack some of their favorite toys, too. Here are some simple tips you can use for packing toys that will ensure your smallest ones feel comfortable leaving home. This can be another gentle hint to your kiddo that it’s about time to go visit the other parent. 

Have them do chores and don’t spoil them 

Having kids pitch in with household chores makes them feel more included in the family. Ensure the youngsters don’t perform more or less work than their siblings do and that the chores are similar at both houses. You can also help them learn to take care of themselves. 

Additionally, as a means of making their children feel at home or due to feelings of guilt associated with the breakup, some parents who have gone through a divorce may indulge their children with presents and lax regulations. They won’t feel more loved if they’re spoiled, and it may make them feel as though their love is being bought if they act entitled. 

Plan activities 

A child’s emotions are tested throughout a divorce, and it takes more than a few days for them to feel normal again. Therefore, while they are living with you, it is essential to organize some enjoyable activities to get their minds off of the situation. In the end, kids will remember the good times they had at your house, not the sad memories of the divorce. To help your kids feel comfortable in two homes, put in the additional effort to spend quality time together doing things like arts and crafts, playing football in the garden, or working on a project. 

Final words 

It’s natural for children to feel down after a divorce. Everyone needs time to settle into their new habits and acclimate to the changes. There is no doubt that you and your ex-spouse want what is best for your children. So, follow this guide to help your kids feel comfortable in two homes and provide them with a safe and fulfilling upbringing. 

Meta: If you’re going through a divorce, you’ll want to read this guide to help your kids feel comfortable in two homes. 

 Author’s bio: Mary K. is a happily divorced mother of four and a passionate blogger with a green thumb. Between juggling her children, caring for her plants, and writing helpful content for divorcees, Mary enjoys hosting dinner parties for friends.