My Best Friend And I Went Through Our Divorces Together. Three Years Later, Our Lives Are Amazing

I knew my marriage was over when my children were four and seven years old. But I held on until they were nine and 12. I finally got to the point where I couldn’t take it anymore. In the meantime, my best friend was dealing with crippling alcoholism as she was trying to leave a marriage that was unhealthy at best and abusive at worst.

Three years ago, in the middle of a global pandemic, I filed for divorce. Her husband did the same thing. We had our babies together, we built families and homes together, and we had forged a friendship, unlike anything I ever knew. Our husbands were friends. We ran in the same circle. We never actually thought that our lives would take us in different directions, but they did, and we are both better for it. Global Guide to Divorce invites you to read on for the rest of the story.

I Moved

Before the ink on my divorce papers dried, I started planning my move back to my hometown. It wasn’t particularly far away, but as a single mom, I knew that I needed to handle everything from leaking pipes to broken windows early so that I wasn’t scrambling when moving day finally arrived. That was in August 2020.

Afterwards, I wanted to find a new job, which required that I update my resume. There are plenty of online templates for resumes but I also made sure I put some time into my cover letter. It didn’t even cost a dime and it was quick and easy.

She Went into Rehab

She was an alcoholic. There was zero doubt about that. She knew that if she was going to be able to maintain custody of her children that she had to get help. She was broke and had a tough time finding rehab centers that are free in our area. Newsflash: there are none. But she did find a great place that took her insurance and that aligned with her Catholic upbringing. The place that she went to had great reviews. We were both still skeptical.

Once she got back home, I wanted to do what I could for her. Armed with a handful of hacks, I was able to pitch in and help her declutter and get organized using shelving and storage bins. I also helped catch up on the laundry and do some cleaning throughout the house.

I Got Remarried

Seven months after my divorce, I was set up on a blind date with someone that I went to high school with. Although my marriage had only been officially over for less than a year, we had already been living separate lives for seven years before that. I did not feel guilty at all for falling in love. I didn’t even realize it was happening until my new boyfriend told me he loved me two weeks into our relationship (according to PsychCentral and science, that’s actually not unheard of!).

Long story short, we were engaged on New Year’s Day of 2022 and married in April 2023. Funny enough, he still lived in our hometown, so I still got to move where I wanted, and selling my house was a breeze. I wound up selling the home for more than $100,000 more than the median home value in 2022.

She Found Herself

My best friend went through a series of ridiculous relationships after her divorce. She was terrified of continuing to live on a single mom’s income with child support, the only supplement to her salary as a teaching assistant. She was choosing men based on their bankroll. It never worked out. I never really blamed her. She’s a bipolar recovering addict that suffered through a year of postpartum depression after her daughter was born. She also needs someone to take care of her. I’m just really proud that she realized that being taken care of didn’t have to mean not having to work.

We also found that we could support each other through choices like building a business of our very own. First it was important that we learned how to get funding for an LLC. We discovered a few strategies for securing funding for an LLC:

• Personal Savings: Many entrepreneurs start by using their personal savings or assets to fund their LLC. This can include personal savings accounts, retirement funds, or the sale of personal assets.
• Friends and Family: You can seek financial support from friends and family members who believe in your business idea. Be sure to formalize any agreements in writing to avoid misunderstandings later on.
• Angel Investors: Angel investors are individuals who provide capital to startups in exchange for equity or convertible debt. Look for angel investor networks or attend local networking events to connect with potential investors.
• Venture Capital: If your business has high growth potential and you're willing to give up some equity, you can seek venture capital funding. Venture capital firms typically invest larger amounts of money in exchange for ownership stakes in your LLC.
• Small Business Loans: The Small Business Administration (SBA) offers various loan programs that can provide financing for LLCs. Banks and credit unions also offer business loans. You'll need a solid business plan and a good credit history to qualify.
• Crowdfunding: Platforms like Kickstarter, Indiegogo, and GoFundMe allow you to raise money from a large number of individuals who contribute small amounts. Crowdfunding can be a viable option for product-based businesses.

We also discovered that she had lots of short but toxic relationships that taught her a lot about herself, which Design.org explains isn’t uncommon. Once she realized that she was chasing money instead of a connection, she learned to control her spending. She’s now dating the SRO of her school. He’s broke, too, but they’re happy.

She and I could write an entire book on what it’s like to go from suburban stay-at-home moms with all of the financial security in the world to single women in their 40s riding the hot mess express through a global pandemic only to come out on top in the end. I sold my house. She went to rehab. I settled down. She quit chasing dollar signs. We both finally found ourselves and quit letting financial security, the kids, and the status quo keep us in a place we were miserable.

Global Guide to Divorce is here to help you through this transition. Questions? We’d love to hear from you!