Sometimes we pick the wrong partner due to inexperience and youth, or because someone’s true colours show up later. Alice admits to being the personification of the cliché “Love is blind.” When Alice was quite young she married a Vietnam veteran who had Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD) and he self-medicated with marijuana. In the era of anti-war protests, this couple’s friends were other veterans and their wives. Her husband’s war buddies also were stoners. Alice said that she was too young and meek to make a stand that this was unacceptable to her. When the group gift at their sons’ first birthday party was a bag of pot, that was a wakeup call for Alice that this situation was out of control. They divorced after three years of marriage. She now warns others not to think you can change or fix someone after marriage. Alice and her young son moved across country where she got a job at a university. She developed an acute medical condition which required surgery. Then her mother and close friend died while she was recovering which added to her misery. Alice’s child support was minimal and she struggled financially as a single parent. Henry, a professor in her department, reached out to Alice in her vulnerable state. Henry helped her financially and emotionally as she was trying to cope. Henry became Alice’s mentor, lifeline and then husband. He excelled in the caretaker role – helping Alice get through her medical crisis and mourning. When Alice felt better, this couple adopted a toddler. Alice metamorphosed from a victim into a strong person and an equal partner in the marriage. She voiced her opinions. Henry did not want to step out of his role as caretaker and advisor. He did not like sharing his power and became…