The One Who Got Away
Most of us have stories about “The One That Got Away.” He might have been a high school crush or the lovely woman from a previous job. When we hit a bumpy road in life, such as with divorce, we wonder “What would have happened if we…?”
How to Invest Your Money Post-Divorce
Divorce can be a financially trying time where one feels that her head is barely above water. There still may be attorney fees to pay along with the cost of buying a new house. Your alimony and child support may not be what you had anticipated. Or you may have received a bid chunk of cash and not sure of how to invest it. I bought a house during the end of my divorce and my priority was paying off the mortgage, so I would not have to deal with it when my alimony ran out. Look at different policies to ensure that there is not a penalty for paying it off before the fifteen or thirty year loan expires. An acquaintance who had a bad break-up, has a ten percent penalty if she pays off her mortgage early. She did not read the fine print. I paid extra every month and used most of my divorce settlement for paying off the balance. I like having this security. Meet with a financial planner who charges by the hour and has no vested interest in certain investments. Working with one who only gets commissions may steer you into a plan that pays a high commission to them. This happened to one women who ended up with a lousy annuity and lost a chunk of its value when she dumped it post-divorce. Word of mouth is one way to find reputable financial planners, but check their web sites and the Better Business Bureau to get a fuller picture. I looked at financial institutions that did not give their CEOs and top echelon multi-million dollar salaries or bonuses. I checked out who has low fees, paid less to administrators, and has been in business for a while. I found Vanguard ticked all of…
Balancing Work and Family Life as a Single Parent
It is possible to keep one’s sanity and sense of humor, yet still be a single parent in the workforce. The trick is to be extra organized and do as much as possible when the kids are with the co-parent. It is challenging stepping back into a career when being a stay-at-home mom, or changing to full-time. These tips make life a bit easier. Work more during visitation. I went to my father’s every other weekend and my nurse mother worked at a hospital during that time. She also picked up extra shifts for the two weeks that I was on vacation with my father and at camp. Another woman worked 8-3 without a formal lunch break. She then went into the office for five hours every Saturday while the kids were at visitation. Since the office was closed, it was peaceful enabling her to get ahead with work. See if you can build flexibility into your job. A dad might work extra on the weekend that he is not with the kids. Make a huge quantity of lasagne or another dish, and freeze single portions (your work lunches) and family size ones. When you are tired – reheat with a prepared salad. Do a cooking marathon when the kids are at visitation. I buy organic, but yummy prepared meals to give to hungry fellows in a hurry. My sons like Trader Joe’s pot pies and their frozen meat which is quick to cook. Team up with other single parents to have potlucks or share some tasks. Three moms decided to rotate cooking evening meals, each doing one night a week. One cooks enough for the other two families and packs up the complete meals into containers. They are delivered to those houses nearby and for the next two evenings, she is…
How to Get Over an Ex-Spouse or Past Relationship
Part of moving on after divorce is leaving your reconciliation fantasy behind. When one is feeling lonely, that makes it tempting to dwell in the past and ponder if an old romance could be rekindled. A few people have wondered if they were too speedy in wanting a divorce and could have hung on longer. Really think through why the relationship ended. Was there any abuse or lack of respect? Do not fall into the “What if trap.” “What if we had tried…..” Relationships end when interest wanes. Sometimes people are too different to really make a go of it. My friend Connie was having a bad patch in her marriage and looked up a former love. They have different lifestyles which may have clashed in the long run. He is happily married with a very active life in the political arena in Washington D.C. He makes the news with the parties he attends and his well-dressed appearance. Connie rarely entertains, is more of a blue jeans type of a girl, and is vegan. When asked if she would throw lavish soirees, serve meat or be elegantly attired on a regular basis, she had difficulty responding. Eventually Connie realized that if they had stayed together, maybe she would not be as happy as she had fantasized. When she and her husband made up, that longing for that past relationship diminished. Please read more… http://blogsondivorce.com/getting-over-an-ex-spouse-or-former-love/
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