Short cuts during Holidays
The holiday season is sneaking up on us again along with endless to-do-lists and frenzied shopping. How to keep your sanity, good mood and stay ahead of the game? The secret is taking short cuts and doing tasks ahead of time. One may have court dates, mediation or collaborative sessions and feel too drained to join in the festivities. Pick the holiday celebrations that bring you the most joy and do not feel obligated to attend every one. If you are usually the one hosting Christmas dinner or the family gathering, then it is time to have a frank discussion. Let others know in advance that you are no longer up to doing this with your divorce and offer some suggestions. The holiday dinner could rotate every year to a different family member’s house. Having it potluck makes it easier on the hosts. One divorced mum decided that family holiday meals would be at a nice restaurant so no one was chained to the kitchen or on clean up duty. Bundle tasks together to free up some time for relaxation. I write my Christmas cards and letters while enjoying a holiday movie on the telly with my sons. Have a wine party with pals while you each wrap some of your Christmas presents. You get a chore done while partying. Spend time with a godchild while you bake Christmas cookies. Cheating is okay. Not every dish has to be made from scratch. Good Housekeeping magazine for example, has a meal or single product from a variety of stores which is blind tested and then judged. These tasters rate them on most like homemade or best flavours. Take the winner, dump the packaging, place it on your nice china, and wait for the compliments. I buy pre-cooked meat for some holiday…
Empty Nest article on Maria Shriver’s web site
It is that time of year, the kids are leaving for college and leaving us with an Empty Nest. After all the years of driving them to school, making dinners and having pizza nights, we will be having an eerily quiet house. Many of us wish we could take back those nights we worked too late or missed school plays, and turn back the clock. Some of us are still adjusting to a recent divorce and now have to face another life changing event…our children leaving home Remember the Empty Nest syndrome is a form of grief, as we are mourning the possibility that our children will never be living under our roofs full-time again. How does one escape the empty nest doldrums? 1. Have a plan for an immediate adventure or fun event as soon as your child leaves for college. My friend took her youngest to college last August in New York City. After getting her daughter settled in, she stayed with her college roommate whom she had not seen in two decades. Her pal lived just outside the city and they had so much fun that she felt a little guilty for not missing her daughter right away. She then went on to visit her sister in a nearby state for more good times. 2. Nurture yourself. Be kind to yourself, acknowledge the pain that you are suffering, and seek some remedies. Mine was to meet a friend for a latte and get a blissful pedicure after my son left. I got a stack of favorite British magazines and dove into them while munching on high quality chocolate. 3. Reach out to others in the same situation. I get together with my fellow Empty Nesters for films and fun. I joined two MeetUp.com groups for a variety of activities. See if there…
The One Who Got Away
Most of us have stories about “The One That Got Away.” He might have been a high school crush or the lovely woman from a previous job. When we hit a bumpy road in life, such as with divorce, we wonder “What would have happened if we…?”
How to Invest Your Money Post-Divorce
Divorce can be a financially trying time where one feels that her head is barely above water. There still may be attorney fees to pay along with the cost of buying a new house. Your alimony and child support may not be what you had anticipated. Or you may have received a bid chunk of cash and not sure of how to invest it. I bought a house during the end of my divorce and my priority was paying off the mortgage, so I would not have to deal with it when my alimony ran out. Look at different policies to ensure that there is not a penalty for paying it off before the fifteen or thirty year loan expires. An acquaintance who had a bad break-up, has a ten percent penalty if she pays off her mortgage early. She did not read the fine print. I paid extra every month and used most of my divorce settlement for paying off the balance. I like having this security. Meet with a financial planner who charges by the hour and has no vested interest in certain investments. Working with one who only gets commissions may steer you into a plan that pays a high commission to them. This happened to one women who ended up with a lousy annuity and lost a chunk of its value when she dumped it post-divorce. Word of mouth is one way to find reputable financial planners, but check their web sites and the Better Business Bureau to get a fuller picture. I looked at financial institutions that did not give their CEOs and top echelon multi-million dollar salaries or bonuses. I checked out who has low fees, paid less to administrators, and has been in business for a while. I found Vanguard ticked all of…
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