Imminent Signs of Divorce
There are red flags that divorce may be just right around the corner. Sometimes we are the last to recognize these signs and are surprised when others say “I knew you’d get a divorce.” It takes extra energy being in a toxic relationship and one may feel overwhelmed and not see the end coming. I have observed several husbands who seemed nervous and jittery when around their wives. Their interactions were stiff and the husbands looked like they wanted to flee. One was about to tell his wife that he was going to start a relationship with her best friend. The other wanted his freedom. I completely missed it when my spouse was doing the same shaky behavior. When a spouse suddenly starts acting nervous and can barely get his words out, then there is a serious problem. If one’s spouse is critical and that escalates to put downs in most social situations, then that marriage is about to explode. In one extreme case, the other young wives and I discussed these cruel remarks behind the couple’s back. We did not know whether to say something to the husband directly about how we felt regarding his disrespectful behavior towards his wife, or not. We made the mistake of remaining quiet, but did not laugh at his “jokes.” Now I would immediately speak up. If one’s spouse becomes very secretive and more distant that is another indication that something is amiss. Being more unavailable or unable to make future plans is a tip off that something or someone else is occupying their time. Are they whispering on the phone and not letting you be in the vicinity when receiving texts? Check your accounts to see if any funds are not accounted for or if there is missing money. Are there more ATM withdrawals recently? This could be a sign that…
Divorce Talk Radio California
Click here to listen my interview on Divorce Talk Radio California! I join the show at 17 mins in. We talk about the different types of divorce, children and parenting, alternative therapies, professional custody evaluations, and my book on Amazon. http://www.divorcetalkradiocalifornia.com/20140315/
Self Growth During Marriage
Sometimes people discover new talents and career paths during marriages that lead to self-fulfillment. This can be challenging for one’s spouse who may resist this change and can lead to divorce. Others’ spouses are thrilled to witness this metamorphosis and be an observer on this journey. A lot depends upon the partner and if the change seems threatening or unbalancing to them. Carla was a secretary in a large hospital and enjoyed the atmosphere. She had a desire to be a nurse which grew stronger as time marched on. When her daughters became teenagers, she decided to take the plunge and go back to school to fulfil this dream. Her husband became more discontent when supper was not on the table by 6 pm and there were other changes to his routine. The girls were proud of their mother and did not require much of her hands on time, like her husband felt he should have. The marriage limped on until Carla filed for divorce once the youngest was almost through with college. Carla was so happy with her career change and the salary increase was helpful post-divorce. Carla’s example is not the only time where a divorce happened when there was a career change. In a similar case, a women went back to school when there were children at home and her husband refused to pitch in and help. That marriage too ended in divorce. The people that I spoke with that had life changes during marriage and divorced, had very traditional male and female roles. The husband took care of the outside, including vehicle maintenance and the women did child care and “inside” work. When the roles were suddenly altered then there were hard feelings on both sides. When the roles were more fluid, these were the marriages that I saw adjusted and even…
Gaining Self-Awareness Post-Divorce Before Dating Again
Before jumping back into the dating pool post-divorce, get a clear sense of self. Knowing your values and who you are is paramount for personal growth. It does not make sense getting to know another individual if one is confused about their own desires, needs and interests.
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