Child Relocation Post-Divorce
International divorce includes an ex-spouse down the road wanting to relocate with the children. A way to prevent relocation is to be proactive during the divorce. If anticipating one’s foreign spouse may move, put in the divorce decree that the children will be brought up in (whatever the state or country where one is living) until age eighteen. Some parents have stated that their offspring will attend college in the country where they now currently reside. One father stipulated in his divorce decree which high school his sons would attend and took responsibility for paying the tuition. What this did was to prevent his wife from moving back to her home state with the boys at a later date. In another situation, a spouse may have followed the other one to a foreign locale for their partner’s job. I know of several ex-pat men who were stay-at- home fathers in Hong Kong while their wives worked. If in a rocky marriage, consider maintaining ties to your birth country (domicile). Perhaps freelance long distance for your old job. Have the kids continue connections with their friends and go home for long vacations. Consider renting out your house and paying taxes and upkeep. In the event of divorce abroad, these attachments to home could make it easier to be allowed to move back with the kids. It is imperative to get expert legal advice when divorcing as an ex-pat. When a parent wants to move across country or abroad, it is recommended to discuss this with one’s ex-spouse before mentioning it to the children. Have a discussion with listening intently to any objections and mention how the children can stay connected. Meet with an attorney to find the best way to proceed. An application to relocate will be filed in court and…
Becoming More Confidant After Divorce
Getting a divorce can affect one’s self confidence. One may have to get a job, move to a different locale or meet new people. A lot is thrown at you at once. Divorce does not define who you are, but is a word indicating your marital status. Being divorced is just a part of one’s multi-faceted being. There are ways to boost one’s confidence which leads to a more fulfilling life. SELF-INVENTORY The first step for gaining more confidence is to do a self-inventory. In what areas do you feel overwhelmed and could use improving? Think about where you excel, such as on the job, with some relationships, or in your hobbies. Your talents and abilities, may have brought accolades, such as when winning local tournaments for a sport. A person may have a magnificent voice which is central to their choir. One may be surprised at how many areas of confidence outweigh what scares them. People sometimes focus on the negatives instead of the positives and feel that they lack confidence in general, rather than in a few specific aspects of their lives. LEARN SOMETHING NEW Learning new skills, material and strategies is the way to fix the areas that are weak and lacking in confidence. Building confidence is like building up a muscle when lifting weights – it benefits the whole person and not just one part. Take a computer class if feeling wobbly about IT on the job. Some scientific guys have confided they feel awkward trying to make small talk. Small talk is a way to connect with others and is important socially as well as at work. Joining groups with a purpose, such as hiking, photography, chess, books and so forth make discussing the subject at hand easy, which then leads to other conversations. The…
Finding Meaning in Life Post-Divorce
Divorce shakes one’s foundation, so doing some rebuilding of one’s life afterwards is a must. What seemed important when married such as extended shopping sprees, may be viewed as trivial now. Let divorce be the catalyst to shift priorities in order to have a more rewarding life. One can feel like they are drifting along and every day is the same. How to get your groove back after divorce? The secret is to discover what is meaningful to you and gives you a sense of purpose in this world. Leo Tolstoy said “The sole meaning of life is to serve humanity.” Volunteering is a great way to connect with others, while getting so much more back. Volunteering counteracts misconceptions of feeling worthless, powerless or weak which can be by products of a toxic marriage. Seeing tangible results of how you make a difference in the world is what gives meaning to your existence. I volunteer weekly for a cat rescue organization and the kitties’ purrs and affection just make my day. Other divorced friends help out at soup kitchens, delivering meals to homebound elderly, or use professional skills such as accounting. This is what ignites the spark in our lives. Think about what your interests are and find a position in one of those areas. In the public schools – we have executives who tutor youngsters over their lunch hours. The staff tells them that this is their most important job and these high powered individuals readily agree. The Dalai Lama stated “Our prime purpose in this life is to help others.” Reaching out and strengthening connections increases life satisfaction. There are all kinds of studies which show that having bonds to people increases longevity and contributes to better health. Rekindle old friendships which may have slipped away when married….
International Divorces
International divorces are becoming more common for many reasons. People choose work assignments at their company’s offices around the globe. There is movement of people between the member states of the European Union. Students study abroad, marry someone from another culture and then return home with their new spouses. With a divorce rate of 40 to 50 percent in Western countries, it is inevitable that people will be divorcing someone from abroad or as expats in a foreign locale. The key and possibly most important aspect of international divorce is to be the first one to file for it. What country handles the divorce is paramount to its outcome. Do not discuss wanting a divorce with your spouse as this gives them the opportunity to file for it first, in a place that may be less advantageous to you. Divorce laws, division of assets and spousal support vary vastly between countries and US states. Speed is essential when it looks like you two may be going your separate ways, so meet with an international attorney right away. International attorneys may work with a local one, but the first item on the agenda is to decide in which country to file for divorce. The first country who receives the filing is usually the one who handles the couple’s divorce, even if the spouse files at a later time in another place. Most countries have federal guidelines, but a few such as the US, Canada and Mexico have regions/states which have their own rules. One has options where to file for divorce. Connections to the county of one’s birth, upbringing or permanent home is where they are domiciled. If a couple from abroad works and intends to live in their new country, this is habitual residence. Filing for divorce in the country…
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