International Divorces
International divorces are becoming more common for many reasons. People choose work assignments at their company’s offices around the globe. There is movement of people between the member states of the European Union. Students study abroad, marry someone from another culture and then return home with their new spouses. With a divorce rate of 40 to 50 percent in Western countries, it is inevitable that people will be divorcing someone from abroad or as expats in a foreign locale. The key and possibly most important aspect of international divorce is to be the first one to file for it. What country handles the divorce is paramount to its outcome. Do not discuss wanting a divorce with your spouse as this gives them the opportunity to file for it first, in a place that may be less advantageous to you. Divorce laws, division of assets and spousal support vary vastly between countries and US states. Speed is essential when it looks like you two may be going your separate ways, so meet with an international attorney right away. International attorneys may work with a local one, but the first item on the agenda is to decide in which country to file for divorce. The first country who receives the filing is usually the one who handles the couple’s divorce, even if the spouse files at a later time in another place. Most countries have federal guidelines, but a few such as the US, Canada and Mexico have regions/states which have their own rules. One has options where to file for divorce. Connections to the county of one’s birth, upbringing or permanent home is where they are domiciled. If a couple from abroad works and intends to live in their new country, this is habitual residence. Filing for divorce in the country…
Travel for Introverts or Singles after Divorce
Wanderlust may kick in after a divorce, when one is alone. Places that were not on your spouse’s Bucket List may be enticing to visit. My introvert friend is finding travel more challenging than her gregarious acquaintances do. She has ruled out group travel, but this is a bit hasty. Group tours vary vastly from those that march travellers around en masse eight hours a day to those that offer one quick orientation look around the city. The American travel guru Rick Steves, suggests taking a fully escorted tour, however go on the excursions that would be more difficult to do on your own, like Machu Picchu. Take advantage of the hotels and transportation, but opt out of some sightseeing and look around on your own if desired. TOURS FOR SOLO TRAVELERS There are hybrid ones that get you to one or more places which include a short get acquainted with your destination tour in each new locale. They may start the journey by Eurostar or a flight to a city or island. One is picked up at the airport and taken to the hotel. There is an hour or so tour with the rest of the time on your own. The beauty of these is that the travel arrangements are left to the pros – you just show up. One gets great rates since the tour companies are buying these trips from travel venders in bulk. There is a safety net to doing travel this way which is not there when you make all of your own arrangements. The company representative (or contact person) is on hand to make recommendations, answer questions or be of assistance in emergencies. This is especially good for a first time visit to a region. I have seen some of these tempting trips listed…
Getting Rid of the Divorce Blues – Moving On
It is easy to feel overwhelmed when stress and loss mounts up in divorce. Going through monumental changes and downgrading one’s lifestyle can result in feeling blue. There may be financial worries and the realization hits that one will see the children only part-time. If a person is prone to depression all of this turmoil can be a trigger that pushes one down that slippery slope. One way to stop melancholy moods is with distraction. When sadness is like a DVD playing over and over in your head, substituted it with happier ones. The blues may hit expectantly like a huge wave, and that is when I mentally insert a DVD of fun times on holiday. Sometimes I can banish morose feelings when looking at our holiday photos and reminiscing about our adventures. Many people have expressed being in nature rejuvenates them. This is as simple as eating lunch outside or taking a stroll in a leafy area to lift one’s mood. There are hundreds of studies that back up the physical and mental health benefits of being out in nature. A study out of The Netherlands analysed records of 195 doctors with the focus of seeing if living near a green space was beneficial to well-being. They found that there were less “disease clusters” for those who lived within 1 kilometre of a green space. This particularly held true for those with depression and mental illness. University of Washington has on their web site a result from a study where some participants took a walk inside and the others did out in nature. 71% of the ones taking a walk outside had a decrease in their depression as opposed to 45% who were inside. Professor Jules Pretty from University of Essex and other researchers analysed data from ten studies….
Dating a Narcissist – Part 2
After being out of the dating pool for a decade or so, post-divorce it can be tempting to give an individual the benefit of doubt for erratic behaviour. One may wonder if things have changed in the dating world, or is it just them. It can be difficult to ascertain when a new partner has a personality disorder. Whether a person is a full-blown clinically diagnosed Narcissist – or shares a few of those traits – there are clues that someone is bad news.
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