Children may have gone through trauma with their parents’ divorce resulting in a dip with their self-esteem. Correct any misconceptions tied to divorce “I’m bad and that is why my parents broke up” or “If I was better, they would still be together.” Reassure children that they are not to blame for any aspect of the divorce and compliment them on their resilience for getting through the process. Rather than trying boost self-esteem in a general way “You are so great and everything you do is great” determine what their core issue is. If their core issue is “I’m unlovable” then work with them on showing that they are lovable. My sons have volunteered with an animal rescue group and the critters have demonstrated great affection towards these boys. There are many other family and community examples of showing that the kids are loved. If a child feels unworthy, then perhaps a divorce professional could help them see that this is a false belief. Hypnotherapy also excels in debunking limiting beliefs that are keeping kids feeling stuck. Work with the negative image that the child may have about themselves in order to achieve a healthy self-esteem. Having a healthy self-esteem is an intrinsic value and not dependent upon a cheering squad telling kids how special they are. The trick is to help the child feel good about themselves and not be reliant upon others to give them validation. Relying on external factors (continual praise for example) is not the path for a strong self-image. Rather than piling on the compliments, help youngsters discover areas of expertise, skills and hobbies where becoming proficient is what helps them feel good about themselves. A bonus when their validation is internal instead of external, is having less of a chance succumbing to peer pressure….