Tips for Easier Co-Parenting Post-Divorce
There are ways to make co-parenting go a little easier for all involved. Remember this is all about your children, so making an extra effort will result in happier kids. Encourage the Grandparent connection. Grandparents can be the anchor for kids in the turbulence surrounding divorce. They can provide a haven where kids have fun and forget about their parents’ troubles. Your former in-laws may be waiting for you to make the first move or unsure if any bitterness towards their offspring is spilling over onto them. If one is uncomfortable talking to them at first, then send an e-mail or letter letting them know how important they are to your children’s lives. An elderly couple was sad when their son and daughter-in-law got a divorce. These grandparents loved their young grandchildren’s mum and offered to babysit for her whenever she needed it. When they went out of town, they would give her a name of a family member as backup, who could watch the kids in a pinch. She appreciated this kindness, since her family did not live nearby. Clarify to the kids that you support their relationship with the other parent. They have overheard angry words and witnessed hostility. Explain that you both are not able to be married anymore, but you respect each other as parents. Reassure kids that there is not a tug-of-war going on with them caught in the middle. This will help them to feel happier and more relaxed about going between homes. When the kids are adjusting well, then co-parenting is easier. 3. Remember to send a present from the child to the other parent, for gift-receiving occasions. He/she feels more appreciated and knows that you were behind this nice gesture. The kids then do not go empty-handed for birthdays and so forth. Reach…
On the Fence About Getting Divorced?
The beginning of a new year is when people take stock of their lives and see what is not working out well so that resolutions can be made. Relationships are one aspect that comes under scrutiny. New Year’s resolutions may be to exercise more, cut down on booze or make a decision about the future of an unhappy marriage. It is time to resuscitate a dying marital partnership or end it. When on the fence about divorce, consider marital counselling, even if your spouse refuses to participate. This will help you recognize if the marriage is salvable or if you have been missing these clues that have led others to file for divorce. You are repulsed by your spouse and do not want to be alone with them. Being in different postal codes would be even better. Sex is a distant memory. Doing things together is just not your cup of tea. You do not even like them and feel trapped being in the relationship. This is not the same as couples losing the spark that initially attracted them to each other. That often can be relit by a holiday in an exotic local or discovering a new passion that draws them back together. Are your beliefs and ethics opposite? When a spouse continues to have affairs and states that you are overreacting, then consider making a permanent exit. It is being callous with complete disregard for your feelings to say you are the one with the problem, since you cannot accept it. This repeated bad behaviour with no remorse, is showing a lack of respect for you. Your partner has an addiction and no amount of rehab has stopped it. There are repeated promises and tears, yet the problem remains. It could be gambling away your joint finances or…
Mediation in Divorce
Family mediators are calling for more practical information and support for divorcing and separating couples after a recent survey by the Family Mediators Association revealed that couples are struggling to access the information they need to help them make informed decisions about their family and financial issues, with up to 38% of people unaware that there are more ways to resolve these issues than going to court or using a solicitor. The poll, conducted by YouGov in support of Family Mediation Week, revealed that people’s satisfaction with the resolution of their issues is related to their access to information about their options – survey participants who were happiest with the outcome of their separation were those with the best access to information about the options available to them. Nationally, 49% of respondents reported that they felt positive about the outcome of their separation; this rose in areas where participants had the best access to information, but fell in parts of the UK where participants were unaware there were other options available. Nationwide, 15% of people were unaware that there were methods of resolution other than lawyers or court available, which rose to an astonishing 38% among younger respondents. Additionally, the survey revealed that almost a quarter of separating or divorcing couples pick a method for resolving their issues because it was the cheapest option available to them, but that few couples are aware how the costs of different resolution methods actually compare. Figures from the Ministry of Justice show that mediation tends to be far less expensive than many of its alternatives, but only 2% of respondents reported that they used a family mediation service compared to a total of 35% negotiating through court or solicitors, showing that couples aren’t always aware there is a cheaper alternative. In light of these…
A Place of Refuge is Needed during Divorce
Divorce can be a time when lives are in an upheaval and the stress level climbs to stratospheric heights. One’s mind and body need a break from the chaotic atmosphere of divorce. What some people do is escape to a special place for a breather to regroup. Is there a destination that brings you joy and contentment? For me it is Kirkwall in the Orkneys or being on a relaxing sea voyage. A divorced friend goes to Aspen, USA to hike and breathe in the fresh mountain air. This revives her to face whatever is ahead. Think about a short getaway from daily burdens during an acrimonious divorce or when post-divorce issues are emerging. Go on a day trip if going farther afield is not feasible. Some have gone back to the comfort of their childhood homes and met up with old friends. The point is to recharge your batteries by going to your place of refuge. It can be as low-key as spending the afternoon in your favourite café people watching and reading. Coffee shops are friendly and one can get to know the staff. My friend and I have ours in Marylebone, London and they ask us if we want “the usual.” It is a way to feel connected and have a pleasant time while forgetting about one’s troubles. A local pub might be someone’s sanctuary (I have one of those too) where you laugh and chat with the regulars. It might be somewhere quite different, such as a bookshop. Hatchard’s on Piccadilly knows my taste and always recommends some great books. Getting engrossed in these mysteries also is a way to shut out the world. There are therapeutic trips to consider – yoga retreats near home or in distant places like India. Getting pampered in a country…
SIGN UP FOR OUR NEWSLETTER
© 2023 Wendi’s Tips. All Rights Reserved. Website by Noventum