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Wendi's Thoughts

Global Guide to Divorce Available at your local bookstore,  amazon US, amazon UK
Jack Jack the Cat

Girlfriends Got Me Through My Divorce

Girlfriends helped me keep my sanity during the crazy time of divorce. When I was falling apart, they put me back together again. They were my cheerleaders and reality check. When teetering on the brink of a breakdown or meltdown, they knew just what to say. I would not have been able to move on this well without them.

What is the difference between girlfriends and friends? I have an eighty-seven year old friend that I have known since the 1980’s. I can confide in her and we are close. There are boundaries that I do not cross, such talking about sex, or telling her what I really think about some of her family members. My girlfriends are more chatty and catty. They bluntly express when I am acting stupid, spending too much money, or need to step back from a college-age kid, to let him make his own mistakes. Friends may be more diplomatic, but girlfriends keep me right on track. Both friends and girlfriends are invaluable for reducing stress and getting on with life.

One girlfriend bought me a relaxation CD at the onset of my divorce. Putting it on before bedtime, or to chill out in the afternoon, reduced the tightness in my muscles and induced sleep. Another gave me some spa items which were bliss. Going out for lattes helped me to feel connected to the outside world when my life centered around collaborative divorce meetings and the numerous e-mails in between. My girlfriends listened to my rants over and over again, while my friends were more impatient. My friends discussed many interesting topics which took the focus off me and I appreciated this diversion.

Tell people what you want and need, since they most likely are not telepathic. Let others know that even going out for a coffee will boost your spirits. Divorce can be a lonely experience paired with loss. Being receptive to others’ gestures will go along way in helping one to feel a sense of connection, when the marital one is being severed. Girlfriends told me of their pals’ divorce horror stories which made my situation seem tame by comparison.
Allow girlfriends to be there, help you and be an important part of your life in this topsy-turvy time.