Arranged Marriages
The divorce rate is much lower (4-6%) for arranged marriages than for traditional ones (40-45%). India leads the world with the lowest divorce rate (1.1%) with 90% of their marriages being arranged in some fashion. Are arranged marriages better than love matches? There are pros and cons to each type. In some cultures, especially Asian and Middle Eastern ones, divorce is less acceptable than in the Western world. Spouses may be informally separated which would not be reflected in the divorce statistics. In areas where domestic abuse is higher, there may not be a support system in place for women wanting to leave their husbands. Some families paid a dowry, so disentangling is more complicated. Having a divorced offspring may bring shame to a family. These are external forces keeping a couple together. Parents or matchmakers determine the personality traits, outlooks, interests, and temperament of a person and find a suitable mate with similar qualities. The young people are from the same background, educational level, class, and religion to ensure compatibility. Some of the divorces in the West are due to vastly different backgrounds which become insurmountable when problems surface down the road. The parents check on potential mates’ backgrounds and more modern ones may hire a private detective. Please read more… http://divorcedmoms.com/articles/are-arranged-marriages-more-successful-than-traditional-marriages
Anger Keeps You Attached to your Ex
Anger is another way to keep you attached to your ex after divorce. Here are reasons to sever the anger tie that keeps you bound to your ex. 1. Anger can shrink rather than expand your social network. One divorced woman I know was perpetually angry with her ex and his truly awful family. Instead of being pleased that she got out of that mess, got her Master’s degree, and an exciting job, Penny kept harping on her ex. She endlessly kept going back to that subject, even though her friends lost patience eons ago. She drove pals away when they responded “enough is enough” and Penny refused to listen. Anger can turn a friendship from give and take to just being a sounding board for someone’s misery. 2. Anger is energy that is spent thinking about your ex or plotting various ways of his demise. It may be a two way street with your anger fuelling his, with retaliation. Anger robs people of time and energy that can be used in a more constructive manner. If you are neutral about someone, such as a co-worker or neighbor, there is no specific tie to them. You interact with them, but then go on you merry way about your own business. Anger is a strong emotion – no take it or leave it attitude. Do you really want this attachment to your ex? 3. Anger builds a wall around people. it is like wearing a “No Trespassing” sign around your neck – stay away. One woman who was bitter post-divorce would yell at her daughter over trivial things. Anger towards her ex splashed over into most areas of her life. The girl did not have much of a relationship with her mother until after college when they were more like friends….
How to Sell Your House Quickly in Divorce or Empty Nest
During divorce, the marital home may be put up for sale with both parties splitting the proceeds. A quick sale that takes place before the divorce is finalized is ideal. Our house sold a few months after we got our divorce decree and I insisted upon having our solicitors distribute the money from the sale. We had at least one meeting with them after our divorce, until the sale of the house. Here are some easy and quick ways to increase your chances and speed of selling your house after divorce during this transition. Select a realtor with a great track record for finding buyers for newly listed property. The average time in the UK for a house to sell is four months. In London and the South East of England, property tends to sell quicker, often under two months. It can take six months or longer in Wales, Scotland, and the Northern part of England. How fast the property sells depends upon the demand in your area. My solicitor chose our realtor due to speedy property sales with her previous family law clients. She was in a big realty company with a vast network. Buy faucets to update your house or flat and give it a newer appearance. My friend had to sell her house soon after her divorce decree to relocate and hired a plumber to replace the faucets. She felt that these shiny new ones got her house sold in days. Getting new toilet seats, shower curtain or other small items, aids in sprucing up the property for minimal cost. Get rid of clutter and many personal items. Have a home for incoming paper work, books, toys, and so forth so they are not scattered around. Take a large bin or laundry basket and thin out books…
Tips on Raising Great Sons as a Single Mother
Here are a few hints for single moms to help sons grow into spectacular young men. Raising sons is an adventure for me, with an uncharted course into unfamiliar territory. My older son gave input into what has worked and was has not with this endeavor. 1. Have clear boundaries, so there is no need to micromanage. When my son went out with buddies, I did not call him. He was expected home at a reasonable hour, so I did not check up on him during the evening. A few friends had mothers who “burned up their sons’ cell phones” and kept asking where they were at any given time. If my son would have stumbled in drunk, or came home at 4 am, then there would have been consequences. My son said that I trusted him so did not feel the need to rebel. 2. Do not trash talk his father, but do answer any questions. My strategy was not to speak about my sons’ father in any way. I just did not mention him. My younger son did not refer to his father, but sometimes my older one did. He said that I answered the question briefly and to the point, without elaborating or adding emotion. Pretend the question is about a cartoon character and just answer matter-of-factly. 3. Have male role models available, even if they are on good terms with their father. Your sons are not seeing their father every day, so these adults enrich your sons’ lives. My younger one is into chess and has several strong male mentors. My older one used to participate in martial arts, and had male instructors who introduced ethics and discipline into these lessons. Seek out strong male role models in areas such as scouts, fencing, and other…
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