Mediation in Divorce
Family mediators are calling for more practical information and support for divorcing and separating couples after a recent survey by the Family Mediators Association revealed that couples are struggling to access the information they need to help them make informed decisions about their family and financial issues, with up to 38% of people unaware that there are more ways to resolve these issues than going to court or using a solicitor. The poll, conducted by YouGov in support of Family Mediation Week, revealed that people’s satisfaction with the resolution of their issues is related to their access to information about their options – survey participants who were happiest with the outcome of their separation were those with the best access to information about the options available to them. Nationally, 49% of respondents reported that they felt positive about the outcome of their separation; this rose in areas where participants had the best access to information, but fell in parts of the UK where participants were unaware there were other options available. Nationwide, 15% of people were unaware that there were methods of resolution other than lawyers or court available, which rose to an astonishing 38% among younger respondents. Additionally, the survey revealed that almost a quarter of separating or divorcing couples pick a method for resolving their issues because it was the cheapest option available to them, but that few couples are aware how the costs of different resolution methods actually compare. Figures from the Ministry of Justice show that mediation tends to be far less expensive than many of its alternatives, but only 2% of respondents reported that they used a family mediation service compared to a total of 35% negotiating through court or solicitors, showing that couples aren’t always aware there is a cheaper alternative. In light of these…
A Place of Refuge is Needed during Divorce
Divorce can be a time when lives are in an upheaval and the stress level climbs to stratospheric heights. One’s mind and body need a break from the chaotic atmosphere of divorce. What some people do is escape to a special place for a breather to regroup. Is there a destination that brings you joy and contentment? For me it is Kirkwall in the Orkneys or being on a relaxing sea voyage. A divorced friend goes to Aspen, USA to hike and breathe in the fresh mountain air. This revives her to face whatever is ahead. Think about a short getaway from daily burdens during an acrimonious divorce or when post-divorce issues are emerging. Go on a day trip if going farther afield is not feasible. Some have gone back to the comfort of their childhood homes and met up with old friends. The point is to recharge your batteries by going to your place of refuge. It can be as low-key as spending the afternoon in your favourite café people watching and reading. Coffee shops are friendly and one can get to know the staff. My friend and I have ours in Marylebone, London and they ask us if we want “the usual.” It is a way to feel connected and have a pleasant time while forgetting about one’s troubles. A local pub might be someone’s sanctuary (I have one of those too) where you laugh and chat with the regulars. It might be somewhere quite different, such as a bookshop. Hatchard’s on Piccadilly knows my taste and always recommends some great books. Getting engrossed in these mysteries also is a way to shut out the world. There are therapeutic trips to consider – yoga retreats near home or in distant places like India. Getting pampered in a country…
Online Dating Tips After Divorce
Statistics vary from 10% to 35% of marriages today are due to meeting one’s spouse from an online dating site. The higher range is from studies that are sponsored from the various dating sites themselves. Regardless, many people are successfully using this method to meet their life partners.
Divorce with a Narcissist or Sociopath
Both the Narcissist and Sociopath (anti-social personality disorder) are toxic people who are difficult to deal with during divorce. There are subtle differences between these two types of characters. The main point is a Narcissist craves attention and adoration. She has to be the star, whereas that is not the case with a Sociopath. A Narcissist will specifically seek out publicity and a Sociopath wants power over others. A Narcissist will have a position in a charity organization that is in the spotlight such as managing director. The Sociopath is more likely to be the one embezzling funds. The Narcissist desires being in the news and the Sociopath is flying under the radar avoiding that in order to carry out nefarious deeds. Sociopaths do not have a conscience and their moral code is “do not get caught.” At a young age a Sociopath is apt to torture animals and torment those weaker than him. This child is charming to adults with exaggerated good manners as a smoke screen to disguise his true nature. They have a sense of entitlement and do not hesitate to trample upon anyone who gets in their way. Some of the financial executives who do inside trading and other illegal acts told the press that they did nothing wrong. In their eyes, this is correct. Both manipulate others for their gain. They blame others when they make mistakes or life is not going as planned. They can ignore family or belittle spouses. Narcissists especially do not like it if a spouse rises up the career ladder and has a more important position. They do not want to share the spotlight. Sociopaths can have a volatile temper which is unpredictable and is especially scary for children. Sociopaths may have their children join in their immoral or illegal…
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