Christmas Experiences Beat Materialism
Budgets may be stretched to the breaking point after a divorce – so think about concentrating on experiences vs a mountain of presents during the holidays. If you reminisce about your childhood, it is the fun times during the holidays that you remember – not the particular Barbie outfit or model airplane received. Taking the focus off materialism and on to what is really meaningful, is a life lesson in itself. The children are now getting two sets of presents after divorce. Do not try to compete with your former spouse in the gift arena nor try to make up for their divorce experience with extravagant material goods. Shift traditions from having the opening of gifts as the main event, to more of a short activity before the festive feast, visiting grandma or whatever. Explain to the children that you have less money to spend on gifts and to let you know one (or several) things that are most important to them. My sons’ favorite present is their stocking bursting with chocolate and small goodies. Decide together what holiday activities would be fun to do. Here are a few suggestions mainly supplied by my sons, to do before Christmas instead of blowing money: Go to a live nativity and especially enjoy the animals who are stealing the show. A nearby church has one every year with hot chocolate, cookies and carols. The sheep, donkeys etc. are just adorable (and ornery). Walk downtown in the evening and enjoy the festive holiday displays. It is like wandering around in a fairyland of lights. We top that off with lattes and a treat afterwards at a coffee shop which is opened late. Check your Chamber of Commerce or another local guide for free holiday events, such as a tree lighting, Santa parade, children’s…
Banish the Holiday Blues Post-Divorce
It can be difficult facing the holiday season when still recovering from divorce. Reliving the past can make the season be less merry. Your life may seem like the subject of Elvis’s Blue Christmas song: I’ll have a Blue Christmas without you I’ll be so blue just thinking about you Decorations of red on a green Christmas tree Won’t be the same dear, if you’re not here with me Acknowledge your emotions such as sadness. Burying them does not make them go away, but rather backfires when they surface at inopportune times. Recognize that you are facing a loss and are still grieving when the rest of the world seems caught up in the frivolities of the season. What helped me was watching comedies and reading humorous stories. Laughing a lot lessened any pain. Do what works best for you. Many have mentioned that taking a break from their surroundings helped speed them along in healing. Not going to where they celebrated Christmas Eve dinner or to other places that they went as a couple, reduced dwelling in the past. Skipping some holiday rituals that were done when married, contributed to being able to move on. You are making a break from your old life this holiday season and embarking on a new adventure. One way is by taking a trip – whether to the heart of Europe or discovering new sights in the UK. There is something mystical about the Highlands for me. When I was in Australia and New Zealand for two holiday periods with my sons, people did not seem to be depressed. They were busy going to the beach, hiking and enjoying the various outdoor pursuits. The sunshine was a mood lifter during the holidays. The Aussies’ Christmas cheer was contagious during this extended daylight. A…
First Christmas Together When In A New Dating Relationship
In a new dating situation when Christmas or Hanukkah are looming on the horizon and you are not sure what to get or how much to spend on a present. The holiday season is about celebrating with family and you have not even met your date’s relatives yet. Here are some tips on getting through the holiday season with a recently met love interest.
Christmas as a Single Parent – Some Tips
Divorce is a way to weed out holiday rituals that have become stale, from the ones with meaning. Revamp your holiday to-do-list with some fresh traditions to start your new life as a single parent. Since it is only my two sons and I in our city, we go to the cinema on Christmas Day for an exciting blockbuster film. It gives us something fun to anticipate after opening presents and having brunch. Ask the children for input on what they like best about Christmas Eve/Day and their answers may surprise you. Consuming an elaborate dinner that takes hours to prepare may not even be on their Wish List. Getting a pizza or eating comfort food on Christmas Eve while watching a marathon of holiday movies, may be what they desire. Save yourself loads of work by incorporating new, low key traditions into this frenetic Christmas season. My sons wanted to stop the tedious activity of making and frosting sugar cookies. They substituted assembling a pre-cooked gingerbread house from a German kit. They enjoy creatively decorating the house and it is fun instead of a chore. It is the uninterrupted time spent with children that matters– rather than frantically flitting from one holiday event to another. This means turn off your devices and be fully present. My sons and I attended a children’s Christmas concert in Germany last December. These angelic voices were heavenly, yet an American woman in the front row was glued to her smart phone. A few of the young soloists looked hurt as they watched her not paying attention to them. When my now adult sons look back upon our Christmases, it is time spend just hanging out together watching “ The Grinch that Stole Christmas” and others, while downing holiday goodies that means the most…
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